FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Egos, rudeness, and gods gifts
Egos, rudeness, and gods gifts
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It’s a fact of life that no matter what you do, be it school, work or love, there will always be people who think they are better than you. You can’t escape it, it’s everywhere.
Sadly in swinging, it’s also the case.
We have had a few rough moments when out at clubs etc, with people who really do think the sun shines out of their arse. People are clearly think they are better than you, to the point theynhave openly mocked us for how we look.
Sadly, FAB can be pretty much the same. If you don’t answer people, you get the “didn’t like you anyway” reply. If you don’t fit their wants you get the “ew no thanks your minging” reply, or sometimes even the “hahaha no I’m not desperate” one.
We try to stay polite, try to answer as many messages as we can (we can’t answer all, even more so when people message just saying hey, how are you or what are you up too), but generally we try to be just nice people. If somebody doesn’t tickle our fancy we give a polite no and a reason why, as well as the usual good luck and have fun type message.
But I’m noticing more and more that people are just starting to be rude... Like, very rude. Almost as if they are better than you, and that I should be greatful they have even contacted us. I mean it says I’m searching for a couple and they were a couple, that means I MUST sleep with them, that evening.
What are some of your worst contenders? What are some of the worst things you have had said, or been done to you? And how did it impact you as a person/couple?
C xxx |
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I can go from being absolutely gorgeous and they want to take me out to " youre just a fucking bloke in a dress" by just saying no thank you.
But hey thats what the block buttons for.
Dont worry just stay true to yourself because there are some nice people out there x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Haha it’s funny you should say that, having spoken to a fair few tv/ts on the site, they all have the same story to tell! I think it’s moatly a case of people wanting to be with a tv/ts, but not having the balls to go through with it, because they don’t know for sure what they want. It happens with couples and singles too, just not so frequently. C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a couple contact me a while ago and when I politely declined their invitation I was threatened with physical violence.
"Yeah, sure, now you've said that I'll be roughy round!" |
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we haven't done to bad, in clubs we haven't had any negativity towards us. just the bad behaved men who get over excited at the sight of a woman in lingerie. message wise I don't really give people the chance to be funny. if we aren't looking for meets and we get the 'want to meet' message we don't even reply.
when the odd rude reply has come I just delete and block
oh I remember one
it was back in the day when you could have multiple pics in top fabs. I think we had 10 on the first page and a certain woman who frequents the top fab list (wont name so cant get in trouble) mailed us saying our pics are shit and we are fake because nikkis hair is a different length in her pics |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When previously part of a couple I was repeatedly emailed by the same couple about how I had a reputation as being one of the rudest most unpleasant people on the scene. Oddly those messages only started after a thanks but no thanks reply to them
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a really sad fact that not everyone who uses this site is polite and courteous, or in some cases, even sane!
We've had our fair share of rude messages/replies, none of which have any negative impact on us (bar one), we simply block the offenders. The one which did have any effect, was directed very personally at our marriage, specifically targeting my husband. It really shook me up at the time because it was very personal and just came out of the blue, I almost deleted our account as a result and it made of reevaluate being involved with other swingers at all. But I came to the conclusion that most people who behave like that, aren't genuine swingers, most of them are perfectly lovely, and the people who do, must be desperately sad, lonely individuals, I actually feel a bit sorry for them...but only for a split second before I block them.
Try and focus on the lovely people on here, there are plenty, and simply ignore/block the idiots.
V x |
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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
OP I just took a quick peak at your profile and from what I could see you look lovely so anyone poking fun is obviously just jealous so hot that block button guys and move on !!!
Have fun and don’t let the negative nancies spoil it for you
Mwah xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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aww thanks hot40, lovely pics guys! X
But yeah this wasn’t so much a post about the issues we are getting, more so it hear about your own stories.
We have had the usual ones, like single men who send you a message then 2 minutes later send you a rude one because you haven’t replied yet! That’s always funny! Yeah I’ll get right on that and jump into bed now!
But the one that’s always stuck with us, always... We were at a club, and playing with each other, when a couple from this site, who happen to be blonde, as in 2 if them, who are back here as new(Make of that what you will) stood near us as if interested. They then laughed, repeatedly. As if that wasn’t bad enough they pulled people over and pointed at us and laughed. They then followed us around, laughing. It put us off the whole thing for a while, because we had never seen such blatant rudeness before. We aren’t exactly gods gift when it comes to looks, but these two were, erm... well she’s not exactly a looker and he’s twice her age nearly... so the fact they even bothered to be that way when they themselves could be bullied by some, is awful.
Our face pics are available, just ask for them in message. Your call if you think we are super ugly enough to warrant such behaviour.
But anyway, that event did upset us, but we soldiered on! C x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ravensong spot on! People like that don’t deserve your time, and for them to be rude to your husband? What exactly is that supposed to achieve for them?! Boggles the mind! C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile looks smashing you look like an absolute gorgeous couple, if someone is putting you down it’s says a lot more about their own insecurities we just try and avoid people with a negative vibe xx |
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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"aww thanks hot40, lovely pics guys! X
But yeah this wasn’t so much a post about the issues we are getting, more so it hear about your own stories.
We have had the usual ones, like single men who send you a message then 2 minutes later send you a rude one because you haven’t replied yet! That’s always funny! Yeah I’ll get right on that and jump into bed now!
But the one that’s always stuck with us, always... We were at a club, and playing with each other, when a couple from this site, who happen to be blonde, as in 2 if them, who are back here as new(Make of that what you will) stood near us as if interested. They then laughed, repeatedly. As if that wasn’t bad enough they pulled people over and pointed at us and laughed. They then followed us around, laughing. It put us off the whole thing for a while, because we had never seen such blatant rudeness before. We aren’t exactly gods gift when it comes to looks, but these two were, erm... well she’s not exactly a looker and he’s twice her age nearly... so the fact they even bothered to be that way when they themselves could be bullied by some, is awful.
Our face pics are available, just ask for them in message. Your call if you think we are super ugly enough to warrant such behaviour.
But anyway, that event did upset us, but we soldiered on! C x"
Sorry guys didn’t quite read it properly ! I’m always telling Andy off for not reading profiles properly before messaging and here’s me doing the same !
We’ve had issues where people think we are stand offish but that’s not the case at all !
Thank you for the compliment I thought you have some nice pics too !! X |
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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
Whom ever they may be they sound like a pair of absolute arse holes and should be thrown off the site and banned from clubs
Stupid stupid people !!!
I hope they read all of the replies and feel ashamed of their disgusting behaviour!!
Bullies !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all about what they want.There lovely in there first messages and as soon as you politely say'no what your offering isn't for me' There true colours come out and they go nasty and make threats or go mardy.
It's like a there on a mission to pick people up and use them and spit them back out.
Use abuse lose should be there status.Thankfully there are a few genuinely nice people amongst the hugeeeee amount of egotistical selfish idiots on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whom ever they may be they sound like a pair of absolute arse holes and should be thrown off the site and banned from clubs
Stupid stupid people !!!
I hope they read all of the replies and feel ashamed of their disgusting behaviour!!
Bullies !!!! "
Hiya just realised who that was hope your both good xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was told by a couple after I just joined that blokes like you are ten a penny, don’t think you’re anything special. I replied what ‘skinny pale gingers blokes are ten a penny on here!’
I was duly blocked. Ah, halcyon days! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was told by a couple after I just joined that blokes like you are ten a penny, don’t think you’re anything special. I replied what ‘skinny pale gingers blokes are ten a penny on here!’
I was duly blocked. Ah, halcyon days!"
See it’s shit like this that annoys me! We don’t actively search for single men, but we aren’t rude to the ones that enquire. That’s the whole point of this site. It makes no sense that people can just think they are above you! C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On fab, I think getting ignored is the worst. I am not talking about sending a message and not receiving one back as I can understand why someone who do that if not interested.
I am talking about getting ignored in the middle of a conversation especially when you aren't the one who first instigated the conversation. Now, for the sake of arguments, let's say that the last messages I have sent didn't deserve a reply, I still find it rude to totally ignore it. Would one leave a conversation in real life without saying anything?
Although it is annoying, I can live with that but what annoys me most is when the same person get back to you weeks later with a complete different subject and ignore you again after few messages.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was polite and told the guy I wasn't interested
he went from your gorgeous blah blah to your not the best looking on fab i thought id do you a favour and fuck you
pathetic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On fab, I think getting ignored is the worst. I am not talking about sending a message and not receiving one back as I can understand why someone who do that if not interested.
I am talking about getting ignored in the middle of a conversation especially when you aren't the one who first instigated the conversation. Now, for the sake of arguments, let's say that the last messages I have sent didn't deserve a reply, I still find it rude to totally ignore it. Would one leave a conversation in real life without saying anything?
Although it is annoying, I can live with that but what annoys me most is when the same person get back to you weeks later with a complete different subject and ignore you again after few messages.
"
Happened to me yesterday, she messaged first I replied, then nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't let anything that happens on here affect me. I don't care if someone thinks they are better than me, and the couple of times someone replied with derogatory comments I laughed, but I pity them really.
I'm immune to name calling, flattery and anything else strangers want to throw at me in life.
My husband hated me in the end, and when I put on 9 stone his favourite name for me was Fat doughnut eating cunt. That didn't bother me one bit.
I suppose having a hard shell could mean when it does crack it will be a collosal one, but it's holding up ok for now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That couple sound like a complete pair of cunts, and there little gaggle of hyenas are just as cuntish.
Which club was it?
Fuck them, from looking at your profile you both look good and if I saw you in a club I'd be over to say hello. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was told by a couple after I just joined that blokes like you are ten a penny, don’t think you’re anything special. I replied what ‘skinny pale gingers blokes are ten a penny on here!’
I was duly blocked. Ah, halcyon days!
See it’s shit like this that annoys me! We don’t actively search for single men, but we aren’t rude to the ones that enquire. That’s the whole point of this site. It makes no sense that people can just think they are above you! C x"
They messaged me first and I think I was supppsed to jump through hoops or something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"aww thanks hot40, lovely pics guys! X
But yeah this wasn’t so much a post about the issues we are getting, more so it hear about your own stories.
We have had the usual ones, like single men who send you a message then 2 minutes later send you a rude one because you haven’t replied yet! That’s always funny! Yeah I’ll get right on that and jump into bed now!
But the one that’s always stuck with us, always... We were at a club, and playing with each other, when a couple from this site, who happen to be blonde, as in 2 if them, who are back here as new(Make of that what you will) stood near us as if interested. They then laughed, repeatedly. As if that wasn’t bad enough they pulled people over and pointed at us and laughed. They then followed us around, laughing. It put us off the whole thing for a while, because we had never seen such blatant rudeness before. We aren’t exactly gods gift when it comes to looks, but these two were, erm... well she’s not exactly a looker and he’s twice her age nearly... so the fact they even bothered to be that way when they themselves could be bullied by some, is awful.
Our face pics are available, just ask for them in message. Your call if you think we are super ugly enough to warrant such behaviour.
But anyway, that event did upset us, but we soldiered on! C x"
Another reason I won't go to a club. They would have gotten the sharp end of my tongue if they did that to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"That couple sound like a complete pair of cunts, and there little gaggle of hyenas are just as cuntish.
Which club was it?
Fuck them, from looking at your profile you both look good and if I saw you in a club I'd be over to say hello. "
Thanks, and stunning pics yourself! I won’t mention what club it is as to be fair it’s not the clubs fault, and they did want to sort it for me. But thanks for such a lovely message C x |
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"It’s a fact of life that no matter what you do, be it school, work or love, there will always be people who think they are better than you. You can’t escape it, it’s everywhere.
Sadly in swinging, it’s also the case.
Cos people generally are not nice creatures....even when they do good it's for another agenda
We have had a few rough moments when out at clubs etc, with people who really do think the sun shines out of their arse. People are clearly think they are better than you, to the point theynhave openly mocked us for how we look.
Sadly, FAB can be pretty much the same. If you don’t answer people, you get the “didn’t like you anyway” reply. If you don’t fit their wants you get the “ew no thanks your minging” reply, or sometimes even the “hahaha no I’m not desperate” one.
We try to stay polite, try to answer as many messages as we can (we can’t answer all, even more so when people message just saying hey, how are you or what are you up too), but generally we try to be just nice people. If somebody doesn’t tickle our fancy we give a polite no and a reason why, as well as the usual good luck and have fun type message.
But I’m noticing more and more that people are just starting to be rude... Like, very rude. Almost as if they are better than you, and that I should be greatful they have even contacted us. I mean it says I’m searching for a couple and they were a couple, that means I MUST sleep with them, that evening.
What are some of your worst contenders? What are some of the worst things you have had said, or been done to you? And how did it impact you as a person/couple?
C xxx"
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"On fab, I think getting ignored is the worst. I am not talking about sending a message and not receiving one back as I can understand why someone who do that if not interested.
I am talking about getting ignored in the middle of a conversation especially when you aren't the one who first instigated the conversation. Now, for the sake of arguments, let's say that the last messages I have sent didn't deserve a reply, I still find it rude to totally ignore it. Would one leave a conversation in real life without saying anything?
Although it is annoying, I can live with that but what annoys me most is when the same person get back to you weeks later with a complete different subject and ignore you again after few messages.
Happened to me yesterday, she messaged first I replied, then nothing. "
Happens all the time, twice in last two days. They ask for pics, extract what they can, offer little in return and then disappear. It is what it is. Might have been guys with lady profiles, who knows why they do it ?? |
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We can count the number of rude or abusive messages we've received on the fingers of one hand. More often than not a polite refusal from us will either be ignored or replied to equally politely.
It's true though that people can be rude, unkind and nasty. It's usually a reflection of how bad they feel about themselves. |
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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago
A box at end of your bed |
I Genuinely find it hard writing that first contact message. That opening line or words are make or break first impressions count.
I am always polite and respectful of who ever I am messaging. Always read their profile fully and maybe fab some of the photos before sending that message.
I do get reply's most of the time but lost don't so what. why get all upset,rude and offensive just learn from it and move on. Hopefully you will have more luck with the next person.
Says the guy without any verifications' after a year on site lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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haven't had a bad one yet but have rude people all the time at work as i am a waiter some think it's okay to be rude to me even when i am trying to help them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That couple sound like a complete pair of cunts, and there little gaggle of hyenas are just as cuntish.
Which club was it?
Fuck them, from looking at your profile you both look good and if I saw you in a club I'd be over to say hello.
Thanks, and stunning pics yourself! I won’t mention what club it is as to be fair it’s not the clubs fault, and they did want to sort it for me. But thanks for such a lovely message C x"
Fair enough, at least the club noticed and offered to sort it x
They're still cunts though, and should have been banned. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Haha, yes they are, and the number of people who we have spoken to about it in passing (either here or at clubs) have all said the same thing about them! They are very popular though, so that’s likely why they act in such a way! C x |
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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Whom ever they may be they sound like a pair of absolute arse holes and should be thrown off the site and banned from clubs
Stupid stupid people !!!
I hope they read all of the replies and feel ashamed of their disgusting behaviour!!
Bullies !!!!
Hiya just realised who that was hope your both good xx"
Hey sexy peeps we are all good !! Been a while hope you are both ok xx |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I've mercifully so far avoided receiving any rude messages but am more than aware that it happens.
I think when it does it tends to be from the entitled ones who think that just because they have signed up to the site it immediately means they can pick and choose anyone to have sex with.
This is especially true of a lot of single guys on here, who think it's a free pass to instant gratification, then find out they're but one of thousands of others like them and after they receive several knock backs let their frustrations get the better of them.
There's of course no excuse for that kind of behaviour but sadly I can't think of any way round it apart from the age old advice of block/ignore and try not to let it affect you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i am a very sociable individual, so will happily chat to anyone. One woman, who i didnt connect with mentally was that put back i wouldnt meet her she told me she was going to put my face pics all over social media saying i was a pervert/ peado etc!!! Made me feel physically sick... purely at the thought that someone could even contemplate doing that! however... i still didnt meet her and tp my knowledge... she didnt do it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i am a very sociable individual, so will happily chat to anyone. One woman, who i didnt connect with mentally was that put back i wouldnt meet her she told me she was going to put my face pics all over social media saying i was a pervert/ peado etc!!! Made me feel physically sick... purely at the thought that someone could even contemplate doing that! however... i still didnt meet her and tp my knowledge... she didnt do it! "
Proof for the single guy bashers that women can be just as big a twat with rejection as guys.
Sorry to hear you found yourself a nutcase. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a shame that this is true but as you rightly pointed out it's a human problem not a swinging one. I take everything with a pitch of salt until I'm sure there's a potential meet. Also what I do on here stays on here I don't let it get to my head or heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest, we have never had any nasty messages or comments on here, but theres always the chance we might I suppose. To us FS is just a bit of fun and what happens here stays here and we wouldn't let anything affect us if it did. As for clubs or meets, if anyone was nasty to me they would have about a second to run!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haha, yes they are, and the number of people who we have spoken to about it in passing (either here or at clubs) have all said the same thing about them! They are very popular though, so that’s likely why they act in such a way! C x"
Horrible people. At least other people know what they're like.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile looks smashing you look like an absolute gorgeous couple, if someone is putting you down it’s says a lot more about their own insecurities we just try and avoid people with a negative vibe xx"
This  couldn’t agree more to be honest we’ve had various different messages from “your stunning” yes that favourite Fab term haha to “your so up yourself”’ or guys running their mouths about my hubby and how much better they are....because that’ll work
Absolute dip shits 
MrsK x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your profile looks smashing you look like an absolute gorgeous couple, if someone is putting you down it’s says a lot more about their own insecurities we just try and avoid people with a negative vibe xx
This couldn’t agree more to be honest we’ve had various different messages from “your stunning” yes that favourite Fab term haha to “your so up yourself”’ or guys running their mouths about my hubby and how much better they are....because that’ll work
Absolute dip shits
MrsK x"
 C x |
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