FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Mixed feelings on preferences, no offence!
Mixed feelings on preferences, no offence!
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas!" Dunno. Ask the couple you got the verification from. | |||
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"Is there any clubs open today? " Random  | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas!" Is a racial preference any different than a size preference when it comes to sexual partners? We are attracted to those we are attracted to. In a community where BBC is a huge turn on for many people & BBC nights are popular in a lot of places, I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to call racism or xenophobia because some people’s preferences exclude it. I don’t play with young guys. Does that make me ageist? Some guys prefer athletic women. Does that make them fattist? Some women only play with women. Does that make them sexist? Some women won’t play with bi-guys. Does that make them homophobic? Choices of partner are just that - a choice. Not saying there aren’t people in the world of swinging who are racist / fattist / sexist / homophobic. But I’d think the majority of people’s choices are driven by other factors & motives. Just my tuppence worth anyhow  | |||
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"What is there to fix about people having preferences? How is that racist and xenophobic? Please explain as I'm a little bit baffled by your opening post OP. " Yeah. Me too What you on about, OP? | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with." What about when they mention BBC only? | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only?" BBC is a term, almost a fetish for many. | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only? BBC is a term, almost a fetish for many. " Yes, but surely that’s no different, they’re not interested in white men. | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas! Is a racial preference any different than a size preference when it comes to sexual partners? We are attracted to those we are attracted to. In a community where BBC is a huge turn on for many people & BBC nights are popular in a lot of places, I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to call racism or xenophobia because some people’s preferences exclude it. I don’t play with young guys. Does that make me ageist? Some guys prefer athletic women. Does that make them fattist? Some women only play with women. Does that make them sexist? Some women won’t play with bi-guys. Does that make them homophobic? Choices of partner are just that - a choice. Not saying there aren’t people in the world of swinging who are racist / fattist / sexist / homophobic. But I’d think the majority of people’s choices are driven by other factors & motives. Just my tuppence worth anyhow "Best post I have read on these forums for a long time. | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only? BBC is a term, almost a fetish for many. Yes, but surely that’s no different, they’re not interested in white men." Look up institutional racism - it’ll explain my position
I’m not looking to get into a debate - it’s just my opinion. | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only? BBC is a term, almost a fetish for many. Yes, but surely that’s no different, they’re not interested in white men. Look up institutional racism - it’ll explain my position
I’m not looking to get into a debate - it’s just my opinion. "I can’t get into a debate, must go to work now!  | |||
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"I have sex with people I find attractive, so far I've only found white people attractive enough for me to want to meet them. Do I really need to give a couple of non-white guys a pity fuck to please those who have a problem with me choosing to have sex with people who turn me on? I can't control who I'm attracted to, the same as everyone else can't control who they are attracted to. If someone wants to pretend I'm racist then there is nothing I can do about it, well, there is, I can allow myself to be fucked by someone I don't want to be fucked by but isn't that bordering on r@pe..? But hey, if it keeps the PC brigade happy who cares as apparently we should be allowing ourselves to be fucked by anyone whether we are attracted to them or not, but wait wouldn't that make us all whores? Isn't that seen as a bad thing? Well, it's better to be seen as a whore than a racist so forget what turns you on and just spread your legs for everyone/imagine you're fucking someone else to stay hard, and please everyone else because what turns you on isn't important apparently..." I agree with most of this post. This is how I feel these threads are about. | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only?" Then surely that would be racist against non black guys if we are to go by the OPs post. | |||
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"I have sex with people I find attractive, so far I've only found white people attractive enough for me to want to meet them. Do I really need to give a couple of non-white guys a pity fuck to please those who have a problem with me choosing to have sex with people who turn me on? I can't control who I'm attracted to, the same as everyone else can't control who they are attracted to. If someone wants to pretend I'm racist then there is nothing I can do about it, well, there is, I can allow myself to be fucked by someone I don't want to be fucked by but isn't that bordering on r@pe..? But hey, if it keeps the PC brigade happy who cares as apparently we should be allowing ourselves to be fucked by anyone whether we are attracted to them or not, but wait wouldn't that make us all whores? Isn't that seen as a bad thing? Well, it's better to be seen as a whore than a racist so forget what turns you on and just spread your legs for everyone/imagine you're fucking someone else to stay hard, and please everyone else because what turns you on isn't important apparently..." Great post, you hit the nail on the head x | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas! Is a racial preference any different than a size preference when it comes to sexual partners? We are attracted to those we are attracted to. In a community where BBC is a huge turn on for many people & BBC nights are popular in a lot of places, I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to call racism or xenophobia because some people’s preferences exclude it. I don’t play with young guys. Does that make me ageist? Some guys prefer athletic women. Does that make them fattist? Some women only play with women. Does that make them sexist? Some women won’t play with bi-guys. Does that make them homophobic? Choices of partner are just that - a choice. Not saying there aren’t people in the world of swinging who are racist / fattist / sexist / homophobic. But I’d think the majority of people’s choices are driven by other factors & motives. Just my tuppence worth anyhow ".  | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas! Is a racial preference any different than a size preference when it comes to sexual partners? We are attracted to those we are attracted to. In a community where BBC is a huge turn on for many people & BBC nights are popular in a lot of places, I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to call racism or xenophobia because some people’s preferences exclude it. I don’t play with young guys. Does that make me ageist? Some guys prefer athletic women. Does that make them fattist? Some women only play with women. Does that make them sexist? Some women won’t play with bi-guys. Does that make them homophobic? Choices of partner are just that - a choice. Not saying there aren’t people in the world of swinging who are racist / fattist / sexist / homophobic. But I’d think the majority of people’s choices are driven by other factors & motives. Just my tuppence worth anyhow "Top answer.
Worth a lot more than tuppence.
The OP won't meet smokers so that must make him "smokerist" | |||
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"We all, well many of us, get so twitchy and worried about offending people these days that it actually stifles constructive discussion about controversial issues. IT IS NOT RACIST TO HAVE A SEXUAL PREFERENCE THAT EXCLUDES SOMEONE BECAUSE OF THE COLOUR OF THEIR SKIN. It is about sexual attraction and preferences. Now at the risk of sounding like a cliche - we have lots of friends of all colours, races, religions etc. We thoroughly enjoy the company of our diverse friendship group. However, we find that we are rarely physically attracted to black and Asian people. So does that mean we racist because we do not want to fuck someone we do not find physically attractive? I (husband) also find I am generally more attracted to brunette women rather than blondes and very rarely ever redheads. Am I gingerist? Also I am straight and do not want to have bi-sex with another man. Does that mean I am homophobic? Pretty certain many of my gay friends from the fetish scene would say not! Sexual preferences and choices no matter what they are should be respected and not be a cause of distress for others. If someone doesn't fancy you for whatever reason and says so on their profile then don't write to them! Now I am in no way being dismissive of the repugnant state of affairs in terms of racism in this country (and others). It is quite simply abhorrent and unacceptable. Still doesn't mean a I am going to have sex with someone I don't fancy for whatever reason that might be!"
Couldn't have put it any better myself. Several words being worthy of being included in the 'Underused words' thread from the other day too | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only? Then surely that would be racist against non black guys if we are to go by the OPs post. " White men have never really suffered from systematic or institutional racism. I’m sure many of the people who state racial preferences aren’t racist. My point is, that I think it’s completely socially unaware to do so, when you could just as easily ignore messages. That’s just my opinion though, and people are allowed to run their profiles however they choose | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only? Then surely that would be racist against non black guys if we are to go by the OPs post. White men have never really suffered from systematic or institutional racism. I’m sure many of the people who state racial preferences aren’t racist. My point is, that I think it’s completely socially unaware to do so, when you could just as easily ignore messages. That’s just my opinion though, and people are allowed to run their profiles however they choose "While I agree with what your saying, it saves people being irate because their message was deleted and ignored, it also cuts down on people being inundated with messages from people they don't want after all that's why we have our preferences in the first place. | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas!" This has been done to death please knock it off! I won't meet asian or black guys but I will happily meet asian or black women so am I a sexist racist? FFS not everyone is turned on by every other section of society. PS I wont meet chavs either does that count? | |||
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"For me, stating racial preferences on a profile comes across as completely lacking social awareness. There’s a huge problem in this country with institutional racism. I don’t understand why people don’t just ignore messages off users who they’d prefer not to meet with. What about when they mention BBC only? Then surely that would be racist against non black guys if we are to go by the OPs post. White men have never really suffered from systematic or institutional racism. I’m sure many of the people who state racial preferences aren’t racist. My point is, that I think it’s completely socially unaware to do so, when you could just as easily ignore messages. That’s just my opinion though, and people are allowed to run their profiles however they choose "It is like you took the words out my mouth. How can a white man living in a predominantly white society can understand what instustional racism is. | |||
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" It is nothing to do with fixing people having preferences, it is about what is behind when individuals decide on a preferences when it comes to racial preferences! This applies to individuals from the black Fab community!" Meaning? | |||
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"Preferences on Fab are generally just preferences, actually what we feel offensive are the couples who seek out only black guys like they are a commodity to be used for there own gratification "Are they complaining though? | |||
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"This has nothing to do with control or men’s lack of success on this site - it is about a systematic process of individual choices which excludes individuals based on colour! there’s is a obvious misunderstandings that certain individuals on this site will have an intolerance and will be in denial about what is attractive, so limited-it a simple argument to use your body as an excuse rather than your conscious brain! The sex part is the easy part! These thoughts are not only exclusive to women, but to man, from all ethnic groups. Me personally it does matter if you are racist or xenophobic! That the prevarication!!" you can say that again | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas! Is a racial preference any different than a size preference when it comes to sexual partners? We are attracted to those we are attracted to. In a community where BBC is a huge turn on for many people & BBC nights are popular in a lot of places, I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to call racism or xenophobia because some people’s preferences exclude it. I don’t play with young guys. Does that make me ageist? Some guys prefer athletic women. Does that make them fattist? Some women only play with women. Does that make them sexist? Some women won’t play with bi-guys. Does that make them homophobic? Choices of partner are just that - a choice. Not saying there aren’t people in the world of swinging who are racist / fattist / sexist / homophobic. But I’d think the majority of people’s choices are driven by other factors & motives. Just my tuppence worth anyhow
Best post I have read on these forums for a long time."Thanks | |||
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" It is nothing to do with fixing people having preferences, it is about what is behind when individuals decide on a preferences when it comes to racial preferences! This applies to individuals from the black Fab community!" I'm not attracted to blacks, indians or pakistanis and if someone states a preference on their profile it does not make them racist. I have chinese, mexicans in my family as well people on here love to throw the word racist around. | |||
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"I’ve been on fab for years. So often in that time men blame anything and everything - quite often things they can’t change or have no control over - for their lack of success. People can have sex with whoever they want and don’t have to give reasons for not doing so. It doesn’t matter if they are racist or xenophobic in that decision making process because it’s their body, their rules. " | |||
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"Why are you confused? What is the confusion?" I’m confused because the thread doesn’t flow; if you use the ‘reply & quote’ button, your comments might make more sense as we can see who you are responding to | |||
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"Why are you confused? What is the confusion?" If you press quote and reply then that will ease my confusion a little as I'll be able to work out who you're answering. | |||
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"Why are you confused? What is the confusion? I’m confused because the thread doesn’t flow; if you use the ‘reply & quote’ button, your comments might make more sense as we can see who you are responding to "Jinx | |||
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"Why are you confused? What is the confusion? I’m confused because the thread doesn’t flow; if you use the ‘reply & quote’ button, your comments might make more sense as we can see who you are responding to
Jinx "Lol!! | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas! Is a racial preference any different than a size preference when it comes to sexual partners? We are attracted to those we are attracted to. In a community where BBC is a huge turn on for many people & BBC nights are popular in a lot of places, I think it’s a sweeping generalisation to call racism or xenophobia because some people’s preferences exclude it. I don’t play with young guys. Does that make me ageist? Some guys prefer athletic women. Does that make them fattist? Some women only play with women. Does that make them sexist? Some women won’t play with bi-guys. Does that make them homophobic? Choices of partner are just that - a choice. Not saying there aren’t people in the world of swinging who are racist / fattist / sexist / homophobic. But I’d think the majority of people’s choices are driven by other factors & motives. Just my tuppence worth anyhow "Excellent. | |||
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"I was going to respond to your message, in much more details, but when I read your message a couple of times- I afraid it does come across as a xenophobic and bit of a bigot! This has nothing to do with a group called PC who seems to be blamed for simple political expediency when an issue touched mainstream! You are part of that mainstream! We all have choices but some have more than others and like to keep it that way! " Please, quote & reply. You can use big words surely you can manage it. | |||
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"Why are you confused? What is the confusion? I’m confused because the thread doesn’t flow; if you use the ‘reply & quote’ button, your comments might make more sense as we can see who you are responding to
Jinx "I’m sorry very new to responding to the forum- can those I have responded to share so all can see! Thanks Martin | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas!" Utter tosh!! | |||
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"I’m not even going t get started on this one again . I’m just glad we enjoy the company of and sex with all people , no matter what colour they are , no matter where they are from , and certainly whatever colour their hair is ! " Haha same old, same old | |||
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"I’m not even going t get started on this one again . I’m just glad we enjoy the company of and sex with all people , no matter what colour they are , no matter where they are from , and certainly whatever colour their hair is ! Haha same old, same old "Yep .... | |||
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"Not sure I understand? Meaning?" What is the general meaning of everything you have written? For us simple girls with only an MA?  | |||
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"Firstly unapologetic you did sound a bit cliche and conceited, “we’re okay we have a collection of assorted ethnic friends”and we also collect gays all for our amusement”! Not sure if you understand my message, but it is about attraction and sharing a common understanding! Your hair attraction example, suggests to me why I wrote my original message- socially, emotionally, intellectually and sexually your preferences have disregarded individuals with certain colour hair, you have decided you have nothing in common with these people! I’m not against sexual preferences and choices and agree they should be respected. However, Intellectually and sexually it is limited! Profiling can be so dangerous linked intrinsically to a legacy of hostility towards certain types!" I get what you are trying to say, but I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. I totally understand that there is an issue in this country with people being discriminated against because of colour, race, sex, weight, background, religion & sexuality to name a few. But I don’t think sexual preference (in the main) is discriminatory. People are attracted to what they are familiar with. They say that girls look for guys like their dads & guys for women like their mums. So if that’s the case, their is an ingrained instinct to look first of all at your own race, background, nationality etc. My personal preference is for tall, broad guys with body hair & dark rather than blond. This describes my partner. It also describes my dad and my first 2 serious boyfriends, so I find this theory plausible. I also prefer guys who are within a 20 year swing of my age. I’m not turned on by boys young enough to be my son or men old enough to be my father. I’m not attracted to guys with long hair or long beards. I like a trimmed beard. I don’t like short or skinny guys, I like a bloke built like a prop forward. I prefer a dad bod to a gym bunny I don’t meet people online. I only play with people who I’ve met & connected with. Personality matters to me much more than physical appearance, so if a long haired, blond guy with a 6-pack is funny & charming & we have a laugh, then yes, I may well play with him. But I might turn him down in favour of the beer drinking, rugby playing, Will Carling look alike (yes, I’m showing my age!) There is no profiling in place. No deliberate act of discrimination. Just people choosing the sexual partners that naturally float their boat. | |||
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"I’ve read, the thread. I was considering an articulate response. Some others, articulated, the snowflake stupidity, accurately and far better than I could. So as a typical man, I’ll keep it basic. Some people are dumb as dogshit. "Thank you for your measured articulate response. | |||
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"Claiming that you aren't attracted to Tom, Dick and Harry is one thing but claiming that you are absolutely not attracted to all the Tom, Dick and Harry in the world that is ambiguous. "  | |||
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"I’ve read, the thread. I was considering an articulate response. Some others, articulated, the snowflake stupidity, accurately and far better than I could. So as a typical man, I’ll keep it basic. Some people are dumb as dogshit. "You should do well on here with that kind of response | |||
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"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... " You get unwell by reading threads?! | |||
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" It is nothing to do with fixing people having preferences, it is about what is behind when individuals decide on a preferences when it comes to racial preferences! This applies to individuals from the black Fab community! I'm not attracted to blacks, indians or pakistanis and if someone states a preference on their profile it does not make them racist. I have chinese, mexicans in my family as well people on here love to throw the word racist around." Because you have Chinese and Mexican in your family doesn’t exclude you from being s racist- you can be that awful family relation who everyone in your family dreads seeing. You maybe one of those intolerance individuals who fails to see in themselves they are racists! | |||
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"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... " Fine. Racism, racism everywhere. We understand. Since when Muslims are a race is a big question but whatever floats your boat. It is much easier to say to yourself "she won't meet me because I am Muslim" than "she does not like me", so suit yourself. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... Fine. Racism, racism everywhere. We understand. Since when Muslims are a race is a big question but whatever floats your boat. It is much easier to say to yourself "she won't meet me because I am Muslim" than "she does not like me", so suit yourself." I truly have never seen a profile where the person states their religion ..... | |||
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"Firstly unapologetic you did sound a bit cliche and conceited, “we’re okay we have a collection of assorted ethnic friends”and we also collect gays all for our amusement”! Not sure if you understand my message, but it is about attraction and sharing a common understanding! Your hair attraction example, suggests to me why I wrote my original message- socially, emotionally, intellectually and sexually your preferences have disregarded individuals with certain colour hair, you have decided you have nothing in common with these people! I’m not against sexual preferences and choices and agree they should be respected. However, Intellectually and sexually it is limited! Profiling can be so dangerous linked intrinsically to a legacy of hostility towards certain types! I get what you are trying to say, but I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. I totally understand that there is an issue in this country with people being discriminated against because of colour, race, sex, weight, background, religion & sexuality to name a few. But I don’t think sexual preference (in the main) is discriminatory. People are attracted to what they are familiar with. They say that girls look for guys like their dads & guys for women like their mums. So if that’s the case, their is an ingrained instinct to look first of all at your own race, background, nationality etc. My personal preference is for tall, broad guys with body hair & dark rather than blond. This describes my partner. It also describes my dad and my first 2 serious boyfriends, so I find this theory plausible. I also prefer guys who are within a 20 year swing of my age. I’m not turned on by boys young enough to be my son or men old enough to be my father. I’m not attracted to guys with long hair or long beards. I like a trimmed beard. I don’t like short or skinny guys, I like a bloke built like a prop forward. I prefer a dad bod to a gym bunny I don’t meet people online. I only play with people who I’ve met & connected with. Personality matters to me much more than physical appearance, so if a long haired, blond guy with a 6-pack is funny & charming & we have a laugh, then yes, I may well play with him. But I might turn him down in favour of the beer drinking, rugby playing, Will Carling look alike (yes, I’m showing my age!) There is no profiling in place. No deliberate act of discrimination. Just people choosing the sexual partners that naturally float their boat." Unconsciously, you are being biased as well as profiling towards a certain type! Call it what you like preferences/attraction, you have setout in the above comments what you put in place has a criteria for selection! My dear there is discrimination! | |||
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"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... Fine. Racism, racism everywhere. We understand. Since when Muslims are a race is a big question but whatever floats your boat. It is much easier to say to yourself "she won't meet me because I am Muslim" than "she does not like me", so suit yourself." I understand what you're trying to say. But unfortunately your point is wholly wrong. - Racism conflates prejudice based on both 'colour' and ethnicity. According to the 1965 UN International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination,[18] the term "racial discrimination" shall mean any distinction, exclusion, restriction, or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin that has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life. | |||
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"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... You get unwell by reading threads?!" When people don't( or, sadly, do, but pretend either that they aren't, or that they don't care) realise that they're basically racist, then yeah. | |||
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"Creating and issue where there isn’t one." | |||
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Those who seek offence will always find it. | |||
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"As for "fetishising", this has been covered in other threads, so I will not repeat myself and many others." Fetishising say, an item of clothing, or activity, is not problematic. In my opinion doing so based on colour is problematic. | |||
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"As for "fetishising", this has been covered in other threads, so I will not repeat myself and many others. Fetishising say, an item of clothing, or activity, is not problematic. In my opinion doing so based on colour is problematic. " Some of us have preferences without fetishising those we prefer. | |||
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"So, in a nutshell, if we don't fuck people we aren't attracted to it makes us racist and xenophobic. All nicely cleared up now, end of thread, toodlepip people. Xx" This thread will run and run | |||
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"So, in a nutshell, if we don't fuck people we aren't attracted to it makes us racist and xenophobic. All nicely cleared up now, end of thread, toodlepip people. Xx This thread will run and run " Unfortunately. | |||
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"So, in a nutshell, if we don't fuck people we aren't attracted to it makes us racist and xenophobic. All nicely cleared up now, end of thread, toodlepip people. Xx" I didn't say that. No idea where you got that from. | |||
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"So, in a nutshell, if we don't fuck people we aren't attracted to it makes us racist and xenophobic. All nicely cleared up now, end of thread, toodlepip people. Xx" Not always, I'm gay so am obviously sexist! lol x | |||
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"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... " Nicely done | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS! "So is this the way forwards then if we choose to only play with people who we are attracted to we are racist/xenophobic if that group is of the same race/skin tone as us? Or does it include people who exclude their own race/skin tone? I.e. if an Indian couple had a profile that says no whites they are racist/xenophobic too? | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
So is this the way forwards then if we choose to only play with people who we are attracted to we are racist/xenophobic if that group is of the same race/skin tone as us? Or does it include people who exclude their own race/skin tone? I.e. if an Indian couple had a profile that says no whites they are racist/xenophobic too?"A man in my own skin tone? That would look too pale even for those who prefer them white. Naaaaaaahhhhh... | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
So is this the way forwards then if we choose to only play with people who we are attracted to we are racist/xenophobic if that group is of the same race/skin tone as us? Or does it include people who exclude their own race/skin tone? I.e. if an Indian couple had a profile that says no whites they are racist/xenophobic too?
A man in my own skin tone?
That would look too pale even for those who prefer them white. Naaaaaaahhhhh..."I know but I didn't want to write all different colours or use the word colour. Far to early for my little brain to process. Lol | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS! "If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous. Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable. What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate. I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian... It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself: 'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea. Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh. It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'. Let's switch the situation... Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people... We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ? I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either. But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism. | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous.
Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable.
What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate.
I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian...
It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself:
'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea.
Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh.
It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'.
Let's switch the situation...
Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people...
We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ?
I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either.
But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism.
"I suggest you do a search for people around London a good many profiles state black men only. How does that make me feel? Well I just press the back button and not post a thread on the forum that's been covered so many times. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous.
Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable.
What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate.
I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian...
It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself:
'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea.
Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh.
It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'.
Let's switch the situation...
Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people...
We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ?
I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either.
But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism.
I suggest you do a search for people around London a good many profiles state black men only. How does that make me feel? Well I just press the back button and not post a thread on the forum that's been covered so many times.
"Are there more black people in london than white ? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous.
Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable.
What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate.
I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian...
It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself:
'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea.
Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh.
It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'.
Let's switch the situation...
Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people...
We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ?
I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either.
But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism.
I suggest you do a search for people around London a good many profiles state black men only. How does that make me feel? Well I just press the back button and not post a thread on the forum that's been covered so many times.
Are there more black people in london than white ?
"In some London boroughs yes. But your question was how would we feel if the shoe was on the other foot and that's my answer. Whether people like their reason or not everyone has the right to determine who enters thier body sexually, we shouldn't be made to be ashamed of ourselves for having a preference. For example the OP states he doesn't want to meet people with mental health issues, what's wrong with that demographic? Is he being discriminating against them? Or just his preference? | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous.
Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable.
What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate.
I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian...
It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself:
'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea.
Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh.
It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'.
Let's switch the situation...
Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people...
We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ?
I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either.
But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism.
I suggest you do a search for people around London a good many profiles state black men only. How does that make me feel? Well I just press the back button and not post a thread on the forum that's been covered so many times.
Are there more black people in london than white ?
In some London boroughs yes. But your question was how would we feel if the shoe was on the other foot and that's my answer.
Whether people like their reason or not everyone has the right to determine who enters thier body sexually, we shouldn't be made to be ashamed of ourselves for having a preference. For example the OP states he doesn't want to meet people with mental health issues, what's wrong with that demographic? Is he being discriminating against them? Or just his preference?"Again... In case you missed it the first time... I haven't said that people should be forced to fuck individual they aren't attracted to or be ashamed of their sexual preferences. I just questioned the basis of racial sexual preference. As it is social constructed, its roots must be prejudicial somehow as one wouldn't even consider any individual from that race. Mental health problem can not be compared with race. However, I do agree with you on the basis that it is also prejudicial to discard anyyone with a mental health problem. | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous.
Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable.
What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate.
I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian...
It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself:
'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea.
Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh.
It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'.
Let's switch the situation...
Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people...
We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ?
I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either.
But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism.
I suggest you do a search for people around London a good many profiles state black men only. How does that make me feel? Well I just press the back button and not post a thread on the forum that's been covered so many times.
Are there more black people in london than white ?
In some London boroughs yes. But your question was how would we feel if the shoe was on the other foot and that's my answer.
Whether people like their reason or not everyone has the right to determine who enters thier body sexually, we shouldn't be made to be ashamed of ourselves for having a preference. For example the OP states he doesn't want to meet people with mental health issues, what's wrong with that demographic? Is he being discriminating against them? Or just his preference?
Again... In case you missed it the first time... I haven't said that people should be forced to fuck individual they aren't attracted to or be ashamed of their sexual preferences.
I just questioned the basis of racial sexual preference. As it is social constructed, its roots must be prejudicial somehow as one wouldn't even consider any individual from that race.
Mental health problem can not be compared with race. However, I do agree with you on the basis that it is also prejudicial to discard anyyone with a mental health problem. "I cannot speak for anyone else but for me it's not something that gets me going I wouldn't say we wouldn't do it just think if we did we'd prefer to initiate it rather than potentially waste people's time asking when it's likely to be no. I know it's not the same but I'm sure it's easier for you if someone put in their profile they don't want t meet men with beards, surly it would same you time messaging them. | |||
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"floored by the some of the contributions to this thread. If you're not attracted to a certain type it doesn't make you racist,xenophobic or anything else you might want to accuse someone of. Save it for Twitter FFS!
If you read the actual thread, you'll notice that the majority have said that 'not being attracted to someone is totally fine, respectuous and justifiable. But claiming that you areNOT attracted to all the people who share the 'type' your described (namely skin colours accompagnied with cultural backgrounds) is ambiguous.
Racial sexual preferences comes from social learning, therefore it is questionable.
What the op was saying, and please correct me if I am wrong, is that whatever your so called racial sexual preference is, just avoid to state it on your profile and select the ones you are attracted to and discard the others without making an entire race feel inadequate.
I am not black or asian so can't really speak about how they feel. But I can infer that one may feel ostracised after reading on a lot of profiles, no black, no asian...
It will certainly undermine the way one sees oneself:
'People do not want me because of my race, my race is what is wrong with me. I am good individual but if I were white, people would like me better and may even want to fuck me'. I extrapolated a bit but you get the idea.
Although, it may not be what one meant when one stated ones racial sexual preference, but it may be the way it is perceived from the point of views of black or asian people and rightly so tbh.
It is not about Political Corectness at all but about the golden rule. 'Do as you would be done by'.
Let's switch the situation...
Imagine, we, whites, are living in a country where the majority are black people, governement is mainly composed with black people...
We are on a similar website, and we daily come across profiles that state no whites (just my preferences)... How do you think that would make us feel ?
I am not saying that people need to fuck black or asian to make them feel welcome or wanted especially if you are not attracted to the individual, and the op wasn't either.
But just trying to explain why some people may perceive that so called racial sexual preferences -which has its root in social learning- as implicit racism.
I suggest you do a search for people around London a good many profiles state black men only. How does that make me feel? Well I just press the back button and not post a thread on the forum that's been covered so many times.
Are there more black people in london than white ?
"Thankfully, enough to choose from. | |||
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"Not sure I understand? Meaning? What is the general meaning of everything you have written? For us simple girls with only an MA? "So self -deprecating, is the MA for Minor Accidents! The general idea behind what I had written was to show that when using preferences linked to racial preferences hid a racist or more likely xenophobic view from certain individuals on this site! | |||
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"Some of the views on this thread are making me feel a little unwell to be honest. Choosing one sort of 'person' above another is prejudiced. Obviously when that prejudice encompasses race, there is are words for this. Stating that you are not wanting to shag ANY, for example, 'fat' person is pretty terrible in my book and speaks volumes about your personality and general world view(ie, very narrow). If that is what you think, don't put it in your profile. But stating that you don't want any approaches from 'fat' people can not be just lazily conflated as being as 'not bad' as stating that you won't shag people who are black, or muslim, etc etc. That IS racism. And is NOT the same as stating you won't shag fat people(which is just spiting your nose to cut off your face as far as I'm concerned, as well as a bit heartless and narrow minded. But that's by the by). As for BBC lovers. Fair enough. Good for the black dudes. But it still doesn't really cover those particular ladies in glory. Their fetishizing. Which is what many of us do(of course!), but that fetishising encompasses various stereotypes... Fine. Racism, racism everywhere. We understand. Since when Muslims are a race is a big question but whatever floats your boat. It is much easier to say to yourself "she won't meet me because I am Muslim" than "she does not like me", so suit yourself. I understand what you're trying to say. But unfortunately your point is wholly wrong. - Racism conflates prejudice based on both 'colour' and ethnicity. According to the 1965 UN International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination,[18] the term "racial discrimination" shall mean any distinction, exclusion, restriction, or preference based on race, colour, descent, or national or ethnic origin that has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life." Fookynell. 
This is a thread about who swingers want to fuck.
WTF has the UN got to do with it?  | |||
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 and people try pass it off as their 'preference' now a days. I've read so many times on profiles no blacks or asians like we're back in the day, I'm numb to that shit now. Tell yourself whatever you choose to make yourself sleep better at night. And why it's so hard for me to understand is cause for as long as I can remember I can see beauty-obv ones I'm attracted to- in all races. I could never tell myself I'm not attracted to that person cause their white or Asian, I'm not built like that. Ay to each their own . Appreciate OP for shedding some light on the topic but people gonna be who they wanna be and you cant change that bro, esp when they don't see anything wrong their self  | |||
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"Its weird. How can you be attracted to only one race ? and people try pass it off as their 'preference' now a days. I've read so many times on profiles no blacks or asians like we're back in the day, I'm numb to that shit now. Tell yourself whatever you choose to make yourself sleep better at night. And why it's so hard for me to understand is cause for as long as I can remember I can see beauty-obv ones I'm attracted to- in all races. I could never tell myself I'm not attracted to that person cause their white or Asian, I'm not built like that. Ay to each their own . Appreciate OP for shedding some light on the topic but people gonna be who they wanna be and you cant change that bro, esp when they don't see anything wrong their self "So your definitely not attracted to a whole group of people under 20 years old then?? Or is that just a preference? | |||
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"Its weird. How can you be attracted to only one race ? and people try pass it off as their 'preference' now a days. I've read so many times on profiles no blacks or asians like we're back in the day, I'm numb to that shit now. Tell yourself whatever you choose to make yourself sleep better at night. And why it's so hard for me to understand is cause for as long as I can remember I can see beauty-obv ones I'm attracted to- in all races. I could never tell myself I'm not attracted to that person cause their white or Asian, I'm not built like that. Ay to each their own . Appreciate OP for shedding some light on the topic but people gonna be who they wanna be and you cant change that bro, esp when they don't see anything wrong their self "Well, there you go. You cannot, others can and will as they know who they are more likely to like. Liking a certain category of people does not mean you will like all of them - it only means if you are ever attracted to someone, they are more likely to belong to that group. In brief, who has the time? | |||
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"I have sex with people I find attractive, so far I've only found white people attractive enough for me to want to meet them. Do I really need to give a couple of non-white guys a pity fuck to please those who have a problem with me choosing to have sex with people who turn me on? I can't control who I'm attracted to, the same as everyone else can't control who they are attracted to. If someone wants to pretend I'm racist then there is nothing I can do about it, well, there is, I can allow myself to be fucked by someone I don't want to be fucked by but isn't that bordering on r@pe..? But hey, if it keeps the PC brigade happy who cares as apparently we should be allowing ourselves to be fucked by anyone whether we are attracted to them or not, but wait wouldn't that make us all whores? Isn't that seen as a bad thing? Well, it's better to be seen as a whore than a racist so forget what turns you on and just spread your legs for everyone/imagine you're fucking someone else to stay hard, and please everyone else because what turns you on isn't important apparently..." | |||
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"Not sure I understand? Meaning? What is the general meaning of everything you have written? For us simple girls with only an MA?
So self -deprecating, is the MA for Minor Accidents! The general idea behind what I had written was to show that when using preferences linked to racial preferences hid a racist or more likely xenophobic view from certain individuals on this site!"It can stand for whatever you want it to stand for. Breathing a sigh of relief here - surely for a very pale person (I think "white" is a misnomer) to like people with much darker skiN tones who also have a certain set of ethnic origins cannot possibly be xenophobia (fear of strangers). I am going to sleep much better tonight.  | |||
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"From past experience with replying to messages from black, Asian guys etc, if I politely decline because they are hundreds of miles away I get accused of being racist, which is not true. If they had bothered to read my profile in the first place they would know I don't accommodate and will only travel locally. Its perfectly clear what I'm looking for, race doesn't come into it. " Oh the horror you mean your not willing to travel? That's so travelphobic I for one think the site needs to do something about this. | |||
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"Not sure I understand? Meaning? What is the general meaning of everything you have written? For us simple girls with only an MA?
So self -deprecating, is the MA for Minor Accidents! The general idea behind what I had written was to show that when using preferences linked to racial preferences hid a racist or more likely xenophobic view from certain individuals on this site!
It can stand for whatever you want it to stand for.
Breathing a sigh of relief here - surely for a very pale person (I think "white" is a misnomer) to like people with much darker skiN tones who also have a certain set of ethnic origins cannot possibly be xenophobia (fear of strangers).
I am going to sleep much better tonight. "Its an interesting point this. Q.can only liking a minority group be negative when practiced by a member of the domenent group? Well clearly Not Xenaphobic and defo not Racist (in the normal definition). I still think any exclusion on Skin clour or race is incomprehensable as no 2 people are alike. Generalisation is bound to lead to disapointment. However a positive bios towards difference seams less likely to be based on a negative oppinion of otherness. Still think there is a lot of Dehuminisation on the scene. And that may answer anouther regular thread post, "the why am I not getting any" posts. Treat people or yourself like objects and People tend not to be attracted to you. Simples said Oleg. | |||
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"Not sure I understand? Meaning? What is the general meaning of everything you have written? For us simple girls with only an MA?
So self -deprecating, is the MA for Minor Accidents! The general idea behind what I had written was to show that when using preferences linked to racial preferences hid a racist or more likely xenophobic view from certain individuals on this site!
It can stand for whatever you want it to stand for.
Breathing a sigh of relief here - surely for a very pale person (I think "white" is a misnomer) to like people with much darker skiN tones who also have a certain set of ethnic origins cannot possibly be xenophobia (fear of strangers).
I am going to sleep much better tonight.
Its an interesting point this. Q.can only liking a minority group be negative when practiced by a member of the domenent group?
Well clearly Not Xenaphobic and defo not Racist (in the normal definition).
I still think any exclusion on Skin clour or race is incomprehensable as no 2 people are alike. Generalisation is bound to lead to disapointment.
However a positive bios towards difference seams less likely to be based on a negative oppinion of otherness.
Still think there is a lot of Dehuminisation on the scene. And that may answer anouther regular thread post, "the why am I not getting any" posts. Treat people or yourself like objects and People tend not to be attracted to you. Simples said Oleg. "Simples indeed. Given the odds, some people just do not want to choose one out of 10000 when they can choose one out of 10 given their taste and preferences. | |||
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"So, in a nutshell, if we don't fuck people we aren't attracted to it makes us racist and xenophobic. All nicely cleared up now, end of thread, toodlepip people. Xx" This. Why should we shag someone we're simply not attracted to, whatever they might look like. Trust us... a loot of people don't like the look of us, so I don't expect them to come queuing up at our front door!! | |||
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"Generally speaking I think most people who state certain ethnic preferences aren't racist, it's just a minority of racists who hide behind preference as a means to inflict hatred on others. Basically if you're a racist just fuck off you're not welcome. If you have a certain preference or fetish for a particular ethnic group, then happy days, your intentions are well placed and you're quite welcome here." I see what you're saying, but sadly too many think differently to you and jump on the sexual preferences are racist band wagon | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
" | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
"Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable. | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
"Maybe they do. And perhaps people don't like being called racist or xenophobe because they made a choice. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be called homophobic just because your straight? | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
"Explain in words I'll understand. | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
Maybe they do. And perhaps people don't like being called racist or xenophobe because they made a choice. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be called homophobic just because your straight?"Sexual orientation cannot be compared with racial sexual preference. The first one is a mix of nature and nurture while the other is entirely socially constructed. Again, in case you missed it the first two times. It is not about the choice per se it is how this choice is formulated. 'I don't find Dev Patel attractive.' Is totally fine. Now, 'I don't find all the guys who have the same skin colour as Dev Patel is ambiguous'. I wonder what is the basis of people for their racial sexual preferences. Because preferences that are socially constructed are the fruit of a reflection/decision, it just doesn't happen overnight. | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
Explain in words I'll understand. "If you scroll a bit you'll may be able what I meant. | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
Maybe they do. And perhaps people don't like being called racist or xenophobe because they made a choice. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be called homophobic just because your straight?
Sexual orientation cannot be compared with racial sexual preference.
The first one is a mix of nature and nurture while the other is entirely socially constructed.
Again, in case you missed it the first two times. It is not about the choice per se it is how this choice is formulated.
'I don't find Dev Patel attractive.' Is totally fine.
Now, 'I don't find all the guys who have the same skin colour as Dev Patel is ambiguous'.
I wonder what is the basis of people for their racial sexual preferences. Because preferences that are socially constructed are the fruit of a reflection/decision, it just doesn't happen overnight.
"I'm racist then, as I said further up the thread. I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about that. | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
Maybe they do. And perhaps people don't like being called racist or xenophobe because they made a choice. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be called homophobic just because your straight?
Sexual orientation cannot be compared with racial sexual preference.
The first one is a mix of nature and nurture while the other is entirely socially constructed.
Again, in case you missed it the first two times. It is not about the choice per se it is how this choice is formulated.
'I don't find Dev Patel attractive.' Is totally fine.
Now, 'I don't find all the guys who have the same skin colour as Dev Patel is ambiguous'.
I wonder what is the basis of people for their racial sexual preferences. Because preferences that are socially constructed are the fruit of a reflection/decision, it just doesn't happen overnight.
I'm racist then, as I said further up the thread. I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about that. "At least you are honest abt it | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
Maybe they do. And perhaps people don't like being called racist or xenophobe because they made a choice. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be called homophobic just because your straight?
Sexual orientation cannot be compared with racial sexual preference.
The first one is a mix of nature and nurture while the other is entirely socially constructed.
Again, in case you missed it the first two times. It is not about the choice per se it is how this choice is formulated.
'I don't find Dev Patel attractive.' Is totally fine.
Now, 'I don't find all the guys who have the same skin colour as Dev Patel is ambiguous'.
I wonder what is the basis of people for their racial sexual preferences. Because preferences that are socially constructed are the fruit of a reflection/decision, it just doesn't happen overnight.
I'm racist then, as I said further up the thread. I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about that. "Apparently any of us who have a sexual preference are. Whatever happened to freedom of choice? We live in a society that we are accused of things we arent just for showing a preference or making a pass at someone. | |||
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"Maybe fab should introduce a quota. For every 10 people you meet, 2 must be a different race to you, 2 must be the opposite sexuality, 2 must be into different fetishes, 1 must have a disability, 2 must be a different religion, then you can have 1 that you are actually attracted to. That way no one can be classed as being xenophobic....
Some ppl completely miss the point. Laughable.
Maybe they do. And perhaps people don't like being called racist or xenophobe because they made a choice. I'm sure you wouldn't like to be called homophobic just because your straight?
Sexual orientation cannot be compared with racial sexual preference.
The first one is a mix of nature and nurture while the other is entirely socially constructed.
Again, in case you missed it the first two times. It is not about the choice per se it is how this choice is formulated.
'I don't find Dev Patel attractive.' Is totally fine.
Now, 'I don't find all the guys who have the same skin colour as Dev Patel is ambiguous'.
I wonder what is the basis of people for their racial sexual preferences. Because preferences that are socially constructed are the fruit of a reflection/decision, it just doesn't happen overnight.
I'm racist then, as I said further up the thread. I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about that.
Apparently any of us who have a sexual preference are. Whatever happened to freedom of choice? We live in a society that we are accused of things we arent just for showing a preference or making a pass at someone."Interesting you used the word 'someone'. As mentioned several times above, not being attracted to an INDIVIDUAL is totally fine and respectuous. But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) " Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all!" Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. " So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up? | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. " | |||
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"I won't fuck anyone that can't speak English. Is that racist, xenophobic or something else?" Tu m'exaspères... C'est comme si je parlais à un mur. J'abandonne ! | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up?" I have absolutely no idea where you get that from. | |||
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"I’ve been on fab for years. So often in that time men blame anything and everything - quite often things they can’t change or have no control over - for their lack of success. People can have sex with whoever they want and don’t have to give reasons for not doing so. It doesn’t matter if they are racist or xenophobic in that decision making process because it’s their body, their rules. " Exactly! | |||
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"I only fuck black men. My partner is black. I am not racist its just my preference. If a fit white guy came along and i was attracted to him then possibly i may have sex with him. At the moment i choose not to fuck white men. For me it is attraction. Mind. Body. Black or white. But black will always come first. Pardon the pun lol" Exactly and I'm not offend or consider you racist or xenophobic. End of the day it's your preference I'm not going to change your mind. | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up? I have absolutely no idea where you get that from. " A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. Did you not write this statement? | |||
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"I only fuck black men. My partner is black. I am not racist its just my preference. If a fit white guy came along and i was attracted to him then possibly i may have sex with him. At the moment i choose not to fuck white men. For me it is attraction. Mind. Body. Black or white. But black will always come first. Pardon the pun lol" I’m only attracted to women with an L in there name, but hey that’s just me. | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up? I have absolutely no idea where you get that from. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. Did you not write this statement?" Yes but where did I write that the 'Society' told her it isn't right and she isnt making her own mind up? Something socially constructed doesn't imply that people do not make their own mind up but based their own choices on social assumptions. | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up? I have absolutely no idea where you get that from. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. Did you not write this statement? Yes but where did I write that the 'Society' told her it isn't right and she isnt making her own mind up? Something socially constructed doesn't imply that people do not make their own mind up but based their own choices on social assumptions. " social situations come from people being in a society. So therefore a socially constructed preference is what society have imprinted in us. | |||
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"At the end of the day, if I find a lady attractive I find her attractive, regardless of the race. End of" That’s exactly how we see it , except it’s men or ladies regardless of race for us | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas!" So because I don't want to play with black men I'm racist? | |||
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"Is this comment or the request for a racial preferences from the fab community a subtle reminder of the UK’s eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! Should the gate keepers of Fab have a social responsibility, culturally (for racism) on this site. Not suggesting Fab alone cannot fix the problems that happened when individuals decides on a preferences! It is really hard to get people to understand or move away from there xenophobic ideas! So because I don't want to play with black men I'm racist? "No, you are just kindly leaving them for those of us who do. | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up? I have absolutely no idea where you get that from. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. Did you not write this statement? Yes but where did I write that the 'Society' told her it isn't right and she isnt making her own mind up? Something socially constructed doesn't imply that people do not make their own mind up but based their own choices on social assumptions. social situations come from people being in a society. So therefore a socially constructed preference is what society have imprinted in us. " Society isn't an homogenous entity, as we've clearly seen on that thread. Your social construction of something may differ from the one I have, yet we live in the same society. | |||
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". But claiming that you aren't attracted to every single individual from that race is ambiguous. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. (You may have noticed that I didn't used the term 'racist' in any of my post but you did) Probably because the original post is questioning if people with a preference are either/both racist/xenophobic, you have basically said yes people with a sexual preference that isn't inclusive of every race is in fact racist. Just because you didn't use the word doesn't mean you didn't imply that's what you meant. I can honestly say where we live there is a large portion of Indian/Pakistani population since.my wife and I have been together she has never found a single one sexually attractive, she has found some black men attractive but not enough to jump into bed with one. Is that because she has been socially conditioned not to like them? No it's because she isn't attracted to them that's all! Oh yes there is nothing wrong with that at all but as she hasn't meet all the pakistani men in the world she can't claim that she is absolutely not attracted to every men from that race, can she ? Race encapuslates a cultural background as well, and I think that a racial sexual preference that excludes an entire race is more based on the cultural assumptions associated with a race than the skin colour itself. So basically your just saying she's basing her preference on not wanting to play with Pakistani men because society told her it's not right and she isn't actually making her own mind up? I have absolutely no idea where you get that from. A sexual racial preference is socially constructed, therefore questionable. Did you not write this statement? Yes but where did I write that the 'Society' told her it isn't right and she isnt making her own mind up? Something socially constructed doesn't imply that people do not make their own mind up but based their own choices on social assumptions. social situations come from people being in a society. So therefore a socially constructed preference is what society have imprinted in us. Society isn't an homogenous entity, as we've clearly seen on that thread. Your social construction of something may differ from the one I have, yet we live in the same society. " Yeah what he said | |||
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"Someone doesn’t want to have sex with me , so they must be racist. But the white couples/women that only like BBC are not racist against white men.... So you concluded to not be deemed a racist... all people must sleep with you.... Ok now I understand.... It’s always black/Asian guys starting these threads... It’s really embarrassing " It’s ok, no need to be embarrassed. We understand that not all black / Asian guys think the same thing. Coz we know you’re all different people & we aren’t racially profiling you. Which is odd, seeing how we are all racist / xenophobic etc | |||
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"Firstly unapologetic you did sound a bit cliche and conceited, “we’re okay we have a collection of assorted ethnic friends”and we also collect gays all for our amusement”! Not sure if you understand my message, but it is about attraction and sharing a common understanding! Your hair attraction example, suggests to me why I wrote my original message- socially, emotionally, intellectually and sexually your preferences have disregarded individuals with certain colour hair, you have decided you have nothing in common with these people! I’m not against sexual preferences and choices and agree they should be respected. However, Intellectually and sexually it is limited! Profiling can be so dangerous linked intrinsically to a legacy of hostility towards certain types! I get what you are trying to say, but I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. I totally understand that there is an issue in this country with people being discriminated against because of colour, race, sex, weight, background, religion & sexuality to name a few. But I don’t think sexual preference (in the main) is discriminatory. People are attracted to what they are familiar with. They say that girls look for guys like their dads & guys for women like their mums. So if that’s the case, their is an ingrained instinct to look first of all at your own race, background, nationality etc. My personal preference is for tall, broad guys with body hair & dark rather than blond. This describes my partner. It also describes my dad and my first 2 serious boyfriends, so I find this theory plausible. I also prefer guys who are within a 20 year swing of my age. I’m not turned on by boys young enough to be my son or men old enough to be my father. I’m not attracted to guys with long hair or long beards. I like a trimmed beard. I don’t like short or skinny guys, I like a bloke built like a prop forward. I prefer a dad bod to a gym bunny I don’t meet people online. I only play with people who I’ve met & connected with. Personality matters to me much more than physical appearance, so if a long haired, blond guy with a 6-pack is funny & charming & we have a laugh, then yes, I may well play with him. But I might turn him down in favour of the beer drinking, rugby playing, Will Carling look alike (yes, I’m showing my age!) There is no profiling in place. No deliberate act of discrimination. Just people choosing the sexual partners that naturally float their boat. Unconsciously, you are being biased as well as profiling towards a certain type! Call it what you like preferences/attraction, you have setout in the above comments what you put in place has a criteria for selection! My dear there is discrimination! " Of course everyone’s preference has a criteria - that’s the very nature of it. How can you have preference without criteria? The definition from the OED of ‘discrimination’ is “The unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of race, age, or sex“ Is it ‘unjust’ for me not to be sexually attracted to teenage & early 20’s boys? Is it ‘unjust’ for me not to be attracted to women? I am attracted to men, irrespective of colour, but within the parameters of my criteria. Are the rest of my criteria ‘unjust’ Would I be ‘unjust’ in telling you that referring to me as ‘my dear’ is patronising & that would prevent me from wanting further conversation with you? | |||
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"Someone doesn’t want to have sex with me , so they must be racist. But the white couples/women that only like BBC are not racist against white men.... So you concluded to not be deemed a racist... all people must sleep with you.... Ok now I understand.... It’s always black/Asian guys starting these threads... It’s really embarrassing It’s ok, no need to be embarrassed. We understand that not all black / Asian guys think the same thing. Coz we know you’re all different people & we aren’t racially profiling you. Which is odd, seeing how we are all racist / xenophobic etc" I have no clue why people bring up racism and xenophobia in a swinging environment. Swinging is not the place for social change... | |||
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"Generally speaking I think most people who state certain ethnic preferences aren't racist, it's just a minority of racists who hide behind preference as a means to inflict hatred on others. Basically if you're a racist just fuck off you're not welcome. If you have a certain preference or fetish for a particular ethnic group, then happy days, your intentions are well placed and you're quite welcome here." Generally speaking I agree with this. And No i dont actually think that all people with a preference are racists. Its the reason behind the preference that i think is telling. Comments on this thread and defensiveness are telling. People like who they like. Any individual can be not your cupper. I recon a number of people have already decided they now have no wish to shag me. Fair enough. But if you said All Scots thats a different thing. I have had sex with a lot of English by the way. A preference in no way automatically says anything about why you have one. I certainly have a preference for the living. Reason fucking the dead is just nasty! I am bigited against the undead of all races! | |||
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"We state a preference in our Profile. If that offends, TOUGH! It is a preference, our decision, our bodies, it does not make us Racist, get a life and get over it! " ...in a nutshell!
I honestly struggle to understand why anyone would question the reason someone uses in deciding who to be intimate with...wtf?!!
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"We state a preference in our Profile. If that offends, TOUGH! It is a preference, our decision, our bodies, it does not make us Racist, get a life and get over it! ...in a nutshell!
I honestly struggle to understand why anyone would question the reason someone uses in deciding who to be intimate with...wtf?!!
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I find it very odd when people throw words like 'racist' around- obviously to try and guilt/ shame people into fucking them. | |||
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"From past experience with replying to messages from black, Asian guys etc, if I politely decline because they are hundreds of miles away I get accused of being racist, which is not true. If they had bothered to read my profile in the first place they would know I don't accommodate and will only travel locally. Its perfectly clear what I'm looking for, race doesn't come into it. Oh the horror you mean your not willing to travel? That's so travelphobic I for one think the site needs to do something about this. " | |||
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"Isnt what OP ornately driving at that its natural for people to have attraction to skin colour (for/against) But perhaps at least a little bit racist to buy into the BBC stereotype that carries connotations with slavery ..a big dumb brute with one purpose Or is that not a thing anymore ..has the term been reclaimed ... " I was considering posting the same thing... One of the reasons for the BBC fetish amongst (some) white couples/women is the taboo nature related to slavery and the master/slave relationship. In addition many cuckold couples expressly want to meet "black bulls" who can dominate the wife and by extension humiliate the husband. I am sure few people would admit it but the undercurrent there is about slaves defeating their masters. However, it is a totally different scenario if the cuckold couple want bulls regardless of skin colour. Before anyone shouts I am not saying I agree, support or understand that as a reason but it is there nonetheless. Personally I find it totally weird but then it is not my fetish. I maintain that it is not racist to have a sexual preference that excludes someone on the basis of their skin colour. I am sure SOME people have these preferences for racist reasons but many do not. It is just what they find sexy or not! | |||
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"Firstly unapologetic you did sound a bit cliche and conceited, “we’re okay we have a collection of assorted ethnic friends”and we also collect gays all for our amusement”! Not sure if you understand my message, but it is about attraction and sharing a common understanding! Your hair attraction example, suggests to me why I wrote my original message- socially, emotionally, intellectually and sexually your preferences have disregarded individuals with certain colour hair, you have decided you have nothing in common with these people! I’m not against sexual preferences and choices and agree they should be respected. However, Intellectually and sexually it is limited! Profiling can be so dangerous linked intrinsically to a legacy of hostility towards certain types!" Just realised this was a reply to me. Although I have to admit it was hard to realise that at first. I am afraid I do not really understand what you are saying. The way you have written it is confusing. Saying I am conceited is deeply offensive. I was merely stating a fact. I do have friends from all walks of society. The reason I said "cliche" is there is a "I have black friends" response that people are sometimes ridiculed for but it doesn't change the fact that I do in fact have many friends from across the spectrum. Also saying "for our amusement" is also deeply offensive. I trust that my friends find me amusing and good company like I do them. When did it become wrong to talk about having friends who are different from ourselves? As for "attraction and sharing a common understanding" yes I agree but what has that got to do with someone wanting to do that with someone THEY find physically attractive (this is a swinger site after all)? As for my point on ginger ladies. I didn't say I will never find a ginger person attractive but I did say I rarely do and haven't so far. Big difference. I/we don't exclude anyone but based on experience we do have preferences and remain happy to exercise those preferences to ensure we have a better chance of having a good time. | |||
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"We state a preference in our Profile. If that offends, TOUGH! It is a preference, our decision, our bodies, it does not make us Racist, get a life and get over it! ...in a nutshell!
I honestly struggle to understand why anyone would question the reason someone uses in deciding who to be intimate with...wtf?!!
I find it very odd when people throw words like 'racist' around- obviously to try and guilt/ shame people into fucking them. "Not sure if you understood the debate or you are hiding behind your own insecurities? You can freely express your thoughts and have a sensible conversation on this site knowing the responses surprisingly have been responsible and measured. It is unfair for you to make a comment when you don’t offer any evidence that you find it odd when people throw words like racist around trying to make people feel guilty into “fucking” them! What people are suggesting, your comments are slightly hostile and was a bit of a red herring! Very consistent with the subtle sentiment of why I wrote the original message! You, my Fab friend are clearly in denial of that eternal prevarication between sanctuary and xenophobia! The Windrush discussion demonstrates this! Tough is the Hypocrisy! | |||
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"Claiming that you aren't attracted to Tom, Dick and Harry is one thing but claiming that you are absolutely not attracted to all the Tom, Dick and Harry in the world that is ambiguous. Don't drag me in to this or dick and harry we have done nothing wrong " | |||
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"Someone doesn’t want to have sex with me , so they must be racist. But the white couples/women that only like BBC are not racist against white men.... So you concluded to not be deemed a racist... all people must sleep with you.... Ok now I understand.... It’s always black/Asian guys starting these threads... It’s really embarrassing It’s ok, no need to be embarrassed. We understand that not all black / Asian guys think the same thing. Coz we know you’re all different people & we aren’t racially profiling you. Which is odd, seeing how we are all racist / xenophobic etc I have no clue why people bring up racism and xenophobia in a swinging environment. Swinging is not the place for social change... " Ashamed it is embarrassing for you and it is ashamed you believe these comments come from only black or Asian guys! If you look at this treads you will see the high proportion of contributors is from white men, actually positively and quite measured! It not about social change but raising awareness and having a voice with individuals who can cope with these types of difficult and sensitive conversation! My friend you stick with your BBC mentally and stay happy in that world! | |||
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"Someone doesn’t want to have sex with me , so they must be racist. But the white couples/women that only like BBC are not racist against white men.... So you concluded to not be deemed a racist... all people must sleep with you.... Ok now I understand.... It’s always black/Asian guys starting these threads... It’s really embarrassing It’s ok, no need to be embarrassed. We understand that not all black / Asian guys think the same thing. Coz we know you’re all different people & we aren’t racially profiling you. Which is odd, seeing how we are all racist / xenophobic etc I have no clue why people bring up racism and xenophobia in a swinging environment. Swinging is not the place for social change... Ashamed it is embarrassing for you and it is ashamed you believe these comments come from only black or Asian guys! If you look at this treads you will see the high proportion of contributors is from white men, actually positively and quite measured! It not about social change but raising awareness and having a voice with individuals who can cope with these types of difficult and sensitive conversation! My friend you stick with your BBC mentally and stay happy in that world!" I want to leave this thread with something positive... Please search for bmfc , team players events. Look at every couple and female that has left a verification... try messaging them and work your way from there... you will know instantly that they meet and play with black men. I think this will bare more fruit than randomly messaging people hoping they are open to playing with a black guy. Good luck | |||
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"Someone doesn’t want to have sex with me , so they must be racist. But the white couples/women that only like BBC are not racist against white men.... So you concluded to not be deemed a racist... all people must sleep with you.... Ok now I understand.... It’s always black/Asian guys starting these threads... It’s really embarrassing It’s ok, no need to be embarrassed. We understand that not all black / Asian guys think the same thing. Coz we know you’re all different people & we aren’t racially profiling you. Which is odd, seeing how we are all racist / xenophobic etc I have no clue why people bring up racism and xenophobia in a swinging environment. Swinging is not the place for social change... " Never mind respecting one another, let's just fuck! | |||
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"Someone doesn’t want to have sex with me , so they must be racist. But the white couples/women that only like BBC are not racist against white men.... So you concluded to not be deemed a racist... all people must sleep with you.... Ok now I understand.... It’s always black/Asian guys starting these threads... It’s really embarrassing It’s ok, no need to be embarrassed. We understand that not all black / Asian guys think the same thing. Coz we know you’re all different people & we aren’t racially profiling you. Which is odd, seeing how we are all racist / xenophobic etc I have no clue why people bring up racism and xenophobia in a swinging environment. Swinging is not the place for social change... Never mind respecting one another, let's just fuck! "I honestly think you’re confusing respectfulness and personal choices. We all need to eat to survive. Some people are Vegans and vegetarians. I respect their decision to not eat meat or dairy products but It’s not my place to question their personal choices as long as it doesn’t effect me. I’m sorry but I don’t see the point in questioning people’s choices to give their bodies too... Do you think if someone doesn’t find black/Asian/White people attractive calling them racist is going to change that? | |||
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