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Club awkwardness
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I think a polite "We're going to go and get a drink/take a wander has been good to chat to you" type comment should be enough to extricate yourselves without any awkwardness.
As for not making eye contact with single guys, nothing wrong with that and even if you do catch their eye and they come over a polite "No thanks" or similar line to above should be all that's needed  |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?"
I chat for a little while, then just say I am going to chat with some others. Have a good night, smile and wander off.
Again with single guys, there is no harm in having a brief conversation. You can always say that you aren't interested in single men, but it's a shame if they are on their lonesome. Just talk about which club's you have been to it give them tips on how they could be more successful and move on.
Just make it clear you are being sociable and friendly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just because we chat to people in the bar does not mean we play with them, on the other hand we have chatted to people of the course of the or four visits to a club before we have eventually played with them. |
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By *emel9Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
I go to clubs with a female fab friend and alone.
The advice above is totally on the money. Going or a wander, maybe see you a bit later. or just going for a wander, have fun.
As a single guy at a club I'm always polite and a polite brush off like the above, or a no thank you, is never a problem.
I'd say it's only a problem for player. There's a big difference, in my mind, between a player and a swinger.
Night time clubs don't get so many players, in my experience. |
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"I think a polite "We're going to go and get a drink/take a wander has been good to chat to you" type comment should be enough to extricate yourselves without any awkwardness.
As for not making eye contact with single guys, nothing wrong with that and even if you do catch their eye and they come over a polite "No thanks" or similar line to above should be all that's needed "
This |
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"We're just going for a wander" is a great way to extricate yourself from a conversation.
I don't like the idea of avoiding eye contact with single men though. How would you feel if you visited a club and everyone ignored you and nobody even looked you in the eye? Clubs are difficult for single men and many have an awful night because nobody will speak to them. Just because you don't want to play with them doesn't mean you should ignore them. Be friendly and sociable just like you would with other couples and single ladies. If you don't want any interaction at all with single men then go to a club/event that doesn't allow them to attend. |
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Clubs are as much about the social as it is about the sex.
What on earth is wrong with making eye contact with single guys, God forbid having a normal conversation.
It's just like you were talking to another human being in a pub, shop or street... "see you later" "I'm off to get a drink, bye" Just because someone speaks to you don't assume they want to play, you maybe surprised. |
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We chat to everyone but that doesn't mean we want to play with them all - we circulate and may talk to people several times - don't feel that just because you chat to them they should think that they can play with you? All about communication and interaction I suppose. If anyone gets pushy with Eva a simple 'no sorry' usually suffices x |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
We go along the lines of 'been great chatting, we are off to see whats happening'. We have never had any awkwardness.
Single guys the same...
Im happy chatting nonsense with anyone, but im careful to not lead anyone on. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
Always useful to have a codeword or phrase. Found that, as a couple you can be talking to others where one of you isn't clicking for some reason. As suggested a simple 'going for a drink/smoke/wander, it's been lovely chatting' works almost every time. |
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By *irthandgirthMan
over a year ago
Camberley occasionally doncaster |
"Not all single guys are desperate sex predators!!
Just saying..
Although I’ve seen how some are in clubs and it’s frankly embarrassing to act so desperate.."
Ah. The walking wankers.. just follow people round in the desperate hope that waving their dick about will lead to an invite  |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
"Not all single guys are desperate sex predators!!
Just saying..
Although I’ve seen how some are in clubs and it’s frankly embarrassing to act so desperate..
Ah. The walking wankers.. just follow people round in the desperate hope that waving their dick about will lead to an invite "
That sort of behaviour is poor and unnecessary but I think some guys do it because they are too shy or uncomfortable to try and break the ice |
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"Not all single guys are desperate sex predators!!
Just saying..
Although I’ve seen how some are in clubs and it’s frankly embarrassing to act so desperate..
Ah. The walking wankers.. just follow people round in the desperate hope that waving their dick about will lead to an invite "
Absolutely lol
Can you believe people actually do that lol ..
But I’ve seen it lots .. |
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"Not all single guys are desperate sex predators!!
Just saying..
Although I’ve seen how some are in clubs and it’s frankly embarrassing to act so desperate..
Ah. The walking wankers.. just follow people round in the desperate hope that waving their dick about will lead to an invite
That sort of behaviour is poor and unnecessary but I think some guys do it because they are too shy or uncomfortable to try and break the ice"
If guys arnt confident enough to speak or approach people then they need a new hobbie ..
You’re simply not made for this lifestyle.. |
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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Suffolk - East Anglia |
"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?"
We have the same problem! Wife is attractive and single blokes come and sit with us and start chatting. We are similarly disposed as you and don't wish to appear rude but some of their chat is nauseating in the extreme, (where's the bucket? I want to throw up). I really want to tell them to F.O. in no uncertain terms but don't wish to embarrass my wife or make a scene.
We just keep talking between ourselves and they eventually get the picture.
One bloke recently even followed me into the sauna and asked if my wife played. I did say "What the fucks it got to do with you." He quickly left.
We really should have a big sign saying "Couples Only." |
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"Then stick to couples only nights.... sorted 
Why should we? "
You're very aggressive towards single guys and stated you want a sign saying couples only. You don't get any single guys on couples only nights... hence less aggression going on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because we chat to people in the bar does not mean we play with them, on the other hand we have chatted to people of the course of the or four visits to a club before we have eventually played with them. "
Hmmm, got us guessing now lol |
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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago
Suffolk - East Anglia |
"Then stick to couples only nights.... sorted
Why should we?
You're very aggressive towards single guys and stated you want a sign saying couples only. You don't get any single guys on couples only nights... hence less aggression going on. "
Get the comments in perspective. We are only annoyed at single blokes who are clearly imposing and being a nuisance, when they should have the sense to get the vibes and back off. Anyone, yes anyone should say no to unwarranted pushing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop worrying about other people's feelings and just get on with enjoying your night "
And that’s why there are issues in clubs, everyone should have some level of decency and respect for others, saying “stop worrying about other people’s feelings” smacks of conceited and selfish behaviour, which frankly is pretty prevalent in clubs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because we chat to people in the bar does not mean we play with them, on the other hand we have chatted to people of the course of the or four visits to a club before we have eventually played with them.
Hmmm, got us guessing now lol "
Lol of course we didn’t mean you  |
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By *aznlouCouple
over a year ago
co durham |
We have friends at clubs, couples & singles who we don’t play with but it’s just social. When someone approaches us yes we’ll talk whether & if need be go for a wander. If we wanted just couples we would go on couples nights, single men get encouraged to talk & approach people in a friendly manner. No one needs to cause a scene as that wouldn’t go down well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Clubs are as much about the social as it is about the sex.
What on earth is wrong with making eye contact with single guys, God forbid having a normal conversation.
It's just like you were talking to another human being in a pub, shop or street... "see you later" "I'm off to get a drink, bye" Just because someone speaks to you don't assume they want to play, you maybe surprised. "
I have had problems with single men in clubs, really bad problems, ones which I certainly don't ever want repeated, so I have my reasons for limiting my contact. I know there are lots of very respectable men who go to clubs, but there are also some predators who don't know how to behave around women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because we chat to people in the bar does not mean we play with them, on the other hand we have chatted to people of the course of the or four visits to a club before we have eventually played with them.
Hmmm, got us guessing now lol
Lol of course we didn’t mean you "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop worrying about other people's feelings and just get on with enjoying your night
Best comment on the thread!
Admin close the thread nothing more to add now !!"
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"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?"
How the heck can making eye contact with single males be a signal for them to approach? Never heard anything as daft as that! Also it is quite rude! A verbal no is enough for them to know you are not interested in them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?
How the heck can making eye contact with single males be a signal for them to approach? Never heard anything as daft as that! Also it is quite rude! A verbal no is enough for them to know you are not interested in them "
I don’t think it’s daft. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?
How the heck can making eye contact with single males be a signal for them to approach? Never heard anything as daft as that! Also it is quite rude! A verbal no is enough for them to know you are not interested in them "
Trust me, it happens, and I'm talking from personal experience, both as a single female and as a couple. Some men are desperate for any attention at all, and will literally pounce, and even touch if just one glance is made. |
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"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this? We have the same problem! Wife is attractive and single blokes come and sit with us and start chatting. We are similarly disposed as you and don't wish to appear rude but some of their chat is nauseating in the extreme, (where's the bucket? I want to throw up). I really want to tell them to F.O. in no uncertain terms but don't wish to embarrass my wife or make a scene.
We just keep talking between ourselves and they eventually get the picture.
One bloke recently even followed me into the sauna and asked if my wife played. I did say "What the fucks it got to do with you." He quickly left.
We really should have a big sign saying "Couples Only.""
Could you not just say "excuse us, we are not interested in single men"? |
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We chat to everyone who's friendly - clubs for us is social night out with like minded people. We find the were off for a wander or nipping to room for something works or if newbies offer to show them round even if we don't plan playing xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is nothing wrong with being friendly to people, chatting is fine how else do you get to know people. I've been on both sides of the coin the couple who are chatting to people or single guys we're not interested in and I've been the single guy. As a single I never expected much sometimes that was a bad thing as probably missed more than I should. But would understand that I may not be what that person/couple are looking for. Also as a couple chatted to people we didn't want to play with most of the times it was ok apart from one single guy who got very agitated with us as he'd chatted on and off most of the night with us he'd suddenly raised his voice and asked if we're gonna play with him or not!? We said no. annoyingly a couple we'd chatted to and was about to ask if the fancied a play went into a room with another couple while this fella kept trying he luck the bugger may have cock blocked us, sadly we'd never know. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?
How the heck can making eye contact with single males be a signal for them to approach? Never heard anything as daft as that! Also it is quite rude! A verbal no is enough for them to know you are not interested in them
Trust me, it happens, and I'm talking from personal experience, both as a single female and as a couple. Some men are desperate for any attention at all, and will literally pounce, and even touch if just one glance is made."
If that's the case you are going to the wrong club. I would not put up with that. I have found a club where that behaviour just does not happen, or on the very rare occasion people are not respectful, they are given a firm warning. You need to go elsewhere if that sort of thing happens regularly . |
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"When my partner and I attend a club we sometimes get chatting to people that we aren't really interested in playing with but find it awkward how to end the conversation and walk away and chat with someone else. We feel slightly rude.
We also avoid eye contact with single males because if we have eye contact, we feel we give of the signal for them to approach us.
How do you guys deal with this?"
Back when I was single I made a point of never chatting with anyone for too long in a club or spa even if I felt that things were going well. I never want to out stay my welcome and with couples I always wanted to give them the room to make up their minds about me without feeling pressured. If eye contact was made later and things looked good that's when I would make a move  |
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