FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Just looking to hook up, or looking for friends too?
Just looking to hook up, or looking for friends too?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello everyone,
We are new to the swing side of things (long time kinksters) and we were just wondering, do people come here purely to hook up or are people looking to make friends too?
We enjoy the social/community side of kink and was wondering if there is a similar thing here in the swing world?
Our profile shows we are looking for unicorns  but we would also like to meet like minded couples for friendship, meeting at clubs/socialising etc, does that happen and if so how do you got about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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years ago when I was half of a swinging couple we got quite pally with a few of our conquests - the ones we had other things in common with, and enjoyed each others' company as well as the shagging. I could easily see a swing partner becoming a friend (although, strangely, find it near-impossible to imagine an existing vanilla friend becoming a swing partner) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the reply, but for us we aren't looking to play with couples, we are looking for couple friends we could socialise with in the swing/kink scene.
We have vanilla friends but sometimes you want a conversation with people who you can be open and honest with and not say "No we didn't do anything at the weekend, just stayed in" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People will generally only be friends with you in the swinging scene if there is a chance of playing, so maybe keep it to yourselves you are not looking to play and you’ll find lots of temporary friends 
You will find they soon disappear once it’s established you don’t want to play with them |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You will find they soon disappear once it’s established you don’t want to play with them"
Thank you for the advice *rushes off to place advert for couples wanted*  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I came on originally to hook up and nothing more, now though the more i use the site the more i can see people are actually quite friendly. Changed my perspective on it so if i can make a few friends along the way, as well as hooking up, I will be a happy fella |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Considering you've been on here for over 4 years, I am a little surprised that you haven't worked that one out yet.
My partner and I thoroughly enjoy the social side too but we would expect to have play too with any friends we did meet regularly. |
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"People will generally only be friends with you in the swinging scene if there is a chance of playing, so maybe keep it to yourselves you are not looking to play and you’ll find lots of temporary friends
You will find they soon disappear once it’s established you don’t want to play with them"
Exactly this .
Why would you think they would want to be friends with you if you aren’t going to play with them ?
For most of us time is precious , and to have friends who just want to chat about sex ( they have or want to have ) is not the best , or most productive way to spend this time .
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why would you think they would want to be friends with you if you aren’t going to play with them ?"
Because can't people be friends if they don't want to play with them?
I suppose we are used to a different kind of social scene, if I am honest it sounds a 'you only get if you give' kind of place 
I agree time is precious but do people just go to events to shag and then leave? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People do make friends at events and clubs and may never play with each other. But as far as making time to meet friends on scene most would meet those that they get best of both from.
By only looking for that unicorn you are limiting your chances massively as that makes it seem it’s just what you 2 want.
For my bi side (female) I’d happily meet as couples and just girls play guys watch or play with own partner etc and have done this on many occasion.
Loads of great clubs around for the social scene where you can meet and chat to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"By only looking for that unicorn you are limiting your chances massively as that makes it seem it’s just what you 2 want."
But it is what we two want, it would be a lie if we said we wanted to swap with a couple as she is only interested in ladies and we would hate to lead anyone on. Don't get me wrong we know how limiting it is and we aren't expecting to meet anyone soon, but we want to be honest about our interests.
I suppose for us we thought there might be like-minded people who meet and chat at events but don't expect you are going to play with them. It sounds a bit like 'why waste my time with someone if they aren't going to help me get my rocks off' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I like to fuck friendly people."
Well we are very friendly
We like to fuck friendly ladies too, but we also like to be friends with people who we might not want to fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From what I've heard the American scene is more social, make friends, get friendly, get very friendly, get very very friendly
It's a shame the UK scene doesn't really work that way. Having said that, there are people out there who would be quite happy to make friends with sexy kinksters. But, if I'm honest, there'd need to be some attraction there, and the hope of certain "benefits" that might come sometime down the line one "friendly" night 
As an aside it's interesting to ponder on the minimum requirement different cultures seem to have before sex can occur. In the US it seems to require friendship for it to even be on the cards. In Europe it seems to require seduction and maybe even wooing before it becomes an option. The brits seem happy to perform quite an efficient handshake before getting straight to it. Interesting... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't go to a club just for the conversation though."
And neither would we, but it would be a nice extra to have a conversation with like-minded people before we went to fuck, even if it wasn't them we were fucking. |
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"Why would you think they would want to be friends with you if you aren’t going to play with them ?
Because can't people be friends if they don't want to play with them?
I suppose we are used to a different kind of social scene, if I am honest it sounds a 'you only get if you give' kind of place
I agree time is precious but do people just go to events to shag and then leave?"
We have loads of ‘friends’ in the swingers scene . The friends we have that we would arrange to meet are people we have played with , and will play with again . There are some we have known for the whole seven years that we have been swinging , and haven't played with , but we only see them if they happen to be at an event or a party that we attend too . We wouldn’t arrange a night especially to meet them , as they wouldn’t to meet us .
It’s that simple really .
We only get one evening a week to swing on , so to spend it listening to a couple who want to share stories of what they did at the weekend doesn’t interest us at all . This is nothing like a ‘ you only get if you give ‘ attitude . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Having said that, there are people out there who would be quite happy to make friends with sexy kinksters. But, if I'm honest, there'd need to be some attraction there, and the hope of certain "benefits" that might come sometime down the line one "friendly" night "
I suppose the confusion for us is that we have come from the kink scene. As there are so many different orientations and interests (Dom/me, sub, gay, straight, bi) that you wouldn't go to an event and expect to meet someone and hook up, instead people attend events as a social thing and build friendship groups and join the community, in the same way people do in the vanilla world. Then, along the way, you meet someone that meets your interests and things go from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We mainly play with single guys but have become really good friends with couples and some single ladies. It’s a really social scene and for us the social side is even more important than the playing side.
Love parties, clubs and just hanging out with likeminded people who we can be completely honest and relaxed with.
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"Not a fan of one offs prefer a friendship. Makes things more interesting and more personal than just a quick fuck x"
Agreed , but the op is saying they want friendships with people they have absolutely no intention of fucking ......a very different criteria . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Not a fan of one offs prefer a friendship. Makes things more interesting and more personal than just a quick fuck x
Agreed , but the op is saying they want friendships with people they have absolutely no intention of fucking ......a very different criteria ."
Yep, exactly that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We mainly play with single guys but have become really good friends with couples and some single ladies. It’s a really social scene and for us the social side is even more important than the playing side.
Love parties, clubs and just hanging out with likeminded people who we can be completely honest and relaxed with.
"
So it isn't just us, I was getting a bit downhearted for a minute  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't go to a club just for the conversation though.
And neither would we, but it would be a nice extra to have a conversation with like-minded people before we went to fuck, even if it wasn't them we were fucking."
I hear lots of people just chat in clubs. The fucking isn't compulsory. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't go to a club just for the conversation though.
And neither would we, but it would be a nice extra to have a conversation with like-minded people before we went to fuck, even if it wasn't them we were fucking.
I hear lots of people just chat in clubs. The fucking isn't compulsory. "
Oh thank god, thank you for letting us know  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Lots of people I’ve met over the years on the scene are now friends, heck, we even met at Libs one night and played Cards Against Humanity. "
Deal us in, 'two dwarfs shitting in a bucket' is always a winner
And Libs is a wonderful venue, though we usually go there for the fetish events. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At clubs no it’s not but is that really a friendship your talking?
The kink and swing scene are very different and I meant by it being about you two what would be in it for the single girl?
If we have the pleasure of a single girl we make the night about her and what she likes and wants from us and we then enjoy that in return.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I meant by it being about you two what would be in it for the single girl? "
If we had taken a single girl with us then it would be about all three of us, sorry I presumed you were referring to what would be in it for the other couples we were chatting to. |
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I think I've made more genuine mates through here than I have anywhere else. Other places you become friends through convenience (work etc) but here you become mates because you like the person for who they are.
As for saying people won't be a friend to you if there's no intention of playing, bollocks.
I've made one friend in particular I'm never gonna get down n dirty with, but I love that person to bits, she is my best friend and we speak every day. I'm grateful every day I have her in my life. We talk about anything and everything.
I've also got those that I do get down n dirty with, however our friendship comes first, genitals second!
Then there's just the ones I fuck. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I've made more genuine mates through here than I have anywhere else. Other places you become friends through convenience (work etc) but here you become mates because you like the person for who they are.
As for saying people won't be a friend to you if there's no intention of playing, bollocks.
I've made one friend in particular I'm never gonna get down n dirty with, but I love that person to bits, she is my best friend and we speak every day. I'm grateful every day I have her in my life. We talk about anything and everything.
I've also got those that I do get down n dirty with, however our friendship comes first, genitals second!
Then there's just the ones I fuck. "
Princess, we love you  |
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"Lots of people I’ve met over the years on the scene are now friends, heck, we even met at Libs one night and played Cards Against Humanity.
Deal us in, 'two dwarfs shitting in a bucket' is always a winner
And Libs is a wonderful venue, though we usually go there for the fetish events."
It was one of the best evenings I’ve ever had there, loads of people chatted, joined in, laughed and we had lots of sex too.
Bonus. |
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"I think I've made more genuine mates through here than I have anywhere else. Other places you become friends through convenience (work etc) but here you become mates because you like the person for who they are.
As for saying people won't be a friend to you if there's no intention of playing, bollocks.
I've made one friend in particular I'm never gonna get down n dirty with, but I love that person to bits, she is my best friend and we speak every day. I'm grateful every day I have her in my life. We talk about anything and everything.
I've also got those that I do get down n dirty with, however our friendship comes first, genitals second!
Then there's just the ones I fuck.
Princess, we love you "
it was bound to happen, you're only human after all
Fuck what other people think, do things your way. Dunno about the others, but I'd rather be liked for who I am than my chuff |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" it was bound to happen, you're only human after all
Fuck what other people think, do things your way. Dunno about the others, but I'd rather be liked for who I am than my chuff "
Sadly as we have never seen your chuff we cannot comment, perhaps you could remedy that for us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello everyone,
We are new to the swing side of things (long time kinksters) and we were just wondering, do people come here purely to hook up or are people looking to make friends too?
We enjoy the social/community side of kink and was wondering if there is a similar thing here in the swing world?
Our profile shows we are looking for unicorns but we would also like to meet like minded couples for friendship, meeting at clubs/socialising etc, does that happen and if so how do you got about it?"
Will the play only be girl on girl? |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
We have friends in this lifestyle we don't play, or ever have. Unlike what someone said earlier that you couldn't find friends here unless you are willing to play, is so not true. There maybe a lot who would say 'don't waste our time' but for us great people are great people, its not always about the sex for us. Get out to clubs and organised socials, you will meet plenty of like minded people who will become friends. We did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i first found out about fab and joined i like most single blokes just wanted sex.
Now i find myself at s bit of a crossroads dont get me wrong i still want thd sex part but arter exchanging a few messages with some people on here im no longer sure what i really want at all. |
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" it was bound to happen, you're only human after all
Fuck what other people think, do things your way. Dunno about the others, but I'd rather be liked for who I am than my chuff
Sadly as we have never seen your chuff we cannot comment, perhaps you could remedy that for us "
It's a shy fandango
Sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" it was bound to happen, you're only human after all
Fuck what other people think, do things your way. Dunno about the others, but I'd rather be liked for who I am than my chuff
Sadly as we have never seen your chuff we cannot comment, perhaps you could remedy that for us
It's a shy fandango
Sometimes."
Scaramouch, scaramouch don't be a shy fandango (Apologies to Queen ) |
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" it was bound to happen, you're only human after all
Fuck what other people think, do things your way. Dunno about the others, but I'd rather be liked for who I am than my chuff
Sadly as we have never seen your chuff we cannot comment, perhaps you could remedy that for us
It's a shy fandango
Sometimes.
Scaramouch, scaramouch don't be a shy fandango (Apologies to Queen )"
 touchè |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Will the play only be girl on girl?"
Well that depends on a lot of things, we are also kinky, so sometimes there won't be male/female sex, but there might be interaction in a kinky sense between all three participants. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" it was bound to happen, you're only human after all
Fuck what other people think, do things your way. Dunno about the others, but I'd rather be liked for who I am than my chuff
Sadly as we have never seen your chuff we cannot comment, perhaps you could remedy that for us
It's a shy fandango
Sometimes.
Scaramouch, scaramouch don't be a shy fandango (Apologies to Queen )
touchè"
*Takes a bow* |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I have loads of friends that I have no intention of fucking. I am not bi, but don't ignore ladies or couples in clubs. By chatting to people I see on a regular basis, it's normal to make friends . I suggest go along to a club on a regular basis and you will make friends that are not just interested in the sex act. |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Get out to clubs and organised socials, you will meet plenty of like minded people who will become friends. We did
Then that is what we will do "
Attic is not far from you. We have made some friends by going there on a semi regular basis. Our next visit is 5th May |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Attic is not far from you. We have made some friends by going there on a semi regular basis. Our next visit is 5th May"
Thank you, we will take a look  |
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"I have loads of friends that I have no intention of fucking. I am not bi, but don't ignore ladies or couples in clubs. By chatting to people I see on a regular basis, it's normal to make friends . I suggest go along to a club on a regular basis and you will make friends that are not just interested in the sex act. "
That's what's happened to me I go to clubs regular see other regulars ( such as good Lizzy here lol) and you make friends, now when I go out I known I'm gonna have a good night regardless if I find someone I want to fuck or not. |
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"Attic is not far from you. We have made some friends by going there on a semi regular basis. Our next visit is 5th May
Thank you, we will take a look "
There's a few of going this Saturday it's our mates hidden desires night you sure deffo give it a try, you should give all the clubs a try lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There's a few of going this Saturday it's our mates hidden desires night you sure deffo give it a try, you should give all the clubs a try lol "
We have been to a few clubs (Liberty Elite, Vanilla Alternative, Xtasia) but mainly for kink events, going to swing events is new for us but we are going to try to visit more.
We see you go to Peer Rope, it has been ages since we have been, we will have to go back sometime, perhaps see you there |
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"There's a few of going this Saturday it's our mates hidden desires night you sure deffo give it a try, you should give all the clubs a try lol
We have been to a few clubs (Liberty Elite, Vanilla Alternative, Xtasia) but mainly for kink events, going to swing events is new for us but we are going to try to visit more.
We see you go to Peer Rope, it has been ages since we have been, we will have to go back sometime, perhaps see you there "
I'll keep an eye out for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't know what you mean by that
"
Why your corset of course, you seem to be wearing it back to front, all we have to do is look for the lady in the reversed clothing |
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"I don't know what you mean by that
Why your corset of course, you seem to be wearing it back to front, all we have to do is look for the lady in the reversed clothing "
lol it's the right way round |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know what you mean by that
Why your corset of course, you seem to be wearing it back to front, all we have to do is look for the lady in the reversed clothing
lol it's the right way round "
Yeah. You should see the back  |
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