FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > When you realise that you only have an insignificant part in someone's life

When you realise that you only have an insignificant part in someone's life

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ok...I will admit I have become fond of a divorced guy in his 40s I have been seeing in a number of occasions from the north of Scotland and I do think I have become attached too much. Perhaps it was daft to think he would feel the same - after all we have met every month/few months for past 18months. However he quite clearly sees me as a totally insignificant part of his life and is not remotely interested in asking me any questions about myself. He has also been off the site for a few months at a time due to working offshore. I have met other guys from fab while I have seen him but I particularly got fond of him. I enjoy being on fab but this is a reminder that the vast majority are only seeking nsa sex and seem to programme themselves not to fall for anyone. I am thinking now of ending it before I get hurt. Has anyone been in a similar position?

Ps I am not looking to meet my soulmate from fab btw

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I enjoy getting quite hot and desirous with the women I meet. They're not the love of my life. But they're not sex objects either. So I'm happy to play in this in between world which is a bit like romantic connecting role play, pretending you're falling in love, but not bringing any drama or strings into it. Perhaps this resonates with you and it describes how you like to play too?

If so I think it's really your call. His feelings won't get hurt because he doesn't play that way. It sounds like he plays in a much more emotionally removed way. If you can handle that, despite the incompatibility, then continue. If not, stop.

But the choice to bring your emotions into play is your choice. If you get broken hearted it's because you wanted to play in a way that opened you to that. It's got nothing to do with him. If you're going to play in this emotional way you've got to be willing to deal with the personal feelings it wells up in you, to dissipate and neutralise them, maybe taking breaks from time to time. That's what I'd suggest

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By *ollyGWoman over a year ago

Southampton

I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have, I got very attached to my former FWB. Particularly after I had been seeing him for over 3 years, he was stopping overnight, met my kids and took me to dinner. I didn't realise I was such an insignificant part of his life, until he got a girlfriend and dumped me. XXX

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/18 19:40:51]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Train your brain to tell you it will never be more, that you won't get the same feelings back, repeat repeat and you will soon believe it and be able to carry on without having to end it. Worked for me.

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By *inful xWoman over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

I think on here you have to assume that you're an insignificant part in everyone's life. Sometimes the reality of that sucks , especially if you're fond of them.

Be kind to yourself OP , move on and let him go. Remember the fun you had and look forward to more fun with new people x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I met a guy not from here. Became fond. Thought he felt the same. Quickly became apparent he didnt. I was then told for the next 6 months all weekends were off limits because of family and friends commitments. He joined fab and is off to a club tonight. When the few week day meets ive come in from work at 2am to wake up crack of dawn to travel hours. Take time off work and fit work in. I just feel like an idiot now tbh.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have, I got very attached to my former FWB. Particularly after I had been seeing him for over 3 years, he was stopping overnight, met my kids and took me to dinner. I didn't realise I was such an insignificant part of his life, until he got a girlfriend and dumped me. XXX

That must have been tough x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's not a sin to develop feelings, and they happen without warning...which makes them deeper.

Better to realise now than after becoming more emotionally involved...though I doubt that helps right now.

Busy,always keep busy and one day you'll have a day where you forget.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think on here you have to assume that you're an insignificant part in everyone's life. Sometimes the reality of that sucks , especially if you're fond of them.

Exactly!

If you need something else other than a fuck then this is the wrong site for you you're going to be let down every time!

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I had a similar but different experience to you, as I didn't adopt feelings for the guy, but when it was clear that I was just an object for sexual release and he really couldn't give a shit about me what so ever, not even my name, I dropped all contact despite him trying for a further year to get back with me.

Never going to happen! I don't do total NSA

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I can get swept up a bit if someone pursues me hard, is always phoning and texting etc - intensity always did trip my trigger!

But my self-respect means I will always endeavour to match what is being given out to me...what is that saying, 'Never make someone a priority if they only consider you an option'?

Use whatever has happened to dial it down inside, realign, perceive it for what it is, find a new balance, equilibrium - and enjoy it in the light of the truth..... or if you can't, move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unrequited love sucks.

The television/books will tell you it's romantic. Don't believe it for a second.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I met a guy not from here. Became fond. Thought he felt the same. Quickly became apparent he didnt. I was then told for the next 6 months all weekends were off limits because of family and friends commitments. He joined fab and is off to a club tonight. When the few week day meets ive come in from work at 2am to wake up crack of dawn to travel hours. Take time off work and fit work in. I just feel like an idiot now tbh. "

You’re not an idiot!

Mistake you made was putting him first which when the next one comes along you put you first honey, let him work around you

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By *ollyGWoman over a year ago

Southampton

That's rough, sorry for you xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?"

This can work both ways...

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By *ollyGWoman over a year ago

Southampton

Met many that say you are the one! Never true! Guys on here just want a shag, believe it and carry on xxx

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?"

I would say that's what the site is about, people looking for sex be that with other single people or in group sessions.

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By *ollyGWoman over a year ago

Southampton

We are all played on here, they just want a shag! Single and dony get it or married and the women only wanted kid's and money to support them! I do feel sorry for guys sometimes

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By *etsjusthavefun99Man over a year ago

Cardiff

I don't think that you have to be an insignificant part of his life just because there is no future as a couple... for FWBs, the Friend part should never be forgotten, if it is then that can only mean you are fuck buddy's, or just a walking vagina for him.

Personally, I really enjoy the friend and sex part of an FWB but i am always clear that there can be nothing more if there's no love or prospect of love.

Basic human decency really.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

It must be easy to allow yourself to develop feelings for someone on here if you are in a position to have them reciprocated.

I'm really fond of someone but I know it'll never go any further than friendship.

OP if you're going to get hurt you probably need to move on but if not enjoy it for what it is

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have guys ive known over 12 years. Some of the guys i meet are very good friends and i care about them but thats all it will ever be. Not falling for them or them falling for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?

I would say that's what the site is about, people looking for sex be that with other single people or in group sessions."

I think there are people looking for sex with strangers and people looking for sex with friends. I'm more in the latter camp but I guess I'm quite unusual in that regard.

Where people get silly is when they start getting confused and thinking it's more than friendship. If I was looking for something more than a friend I'd be on a dating site

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By *ush72Woman over a year ago

Croydon

You are definitely not alone. Women do become attached, it’s in our nature, we meet someone on a regular basis we automatically show interest in their lives etc, and the more we know about the person the more we become emotionally involved on the most basic level. It’s our gift and our curse.

Men on the other hand don’t even think to ask the must basic personal questions, it doesn’t even enter their realm of thinking, they e don’t do it on purpose, it just isn’t in their nature and therefore there is no emotional attachment This is their gift and their curse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I totally agree with this - recently got swept up in a dedicated pursuit, but have now been dropped completely . Hits you hard but you get up, dust yourself off and move on. Use it as a life lesson.

It's only a waste of time if you don't learn from your mistakes

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

This kind of thing doesn’t happen when you swing as a couple and let’s face it , that’s the very essence of swinging isn’t it ?

It isn’t natural for women to swing alone as they always seem to develop feelings which are often not reciprocated . And of course that’s down to the horrid men . Yet men are well known for shagging around without a care in the world since time began , and then get get called every name under the sun for doing what comes naturally on a site that facilitates it .

I think it’s a bloody shame that people get hurt and damaged by people who don’t have the same feelings as they do , but let’s face it , a swinging site should be free of the emotional baggage associated with a dating site .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I totally agree with this - recently got swept up in a dedicated pursuit, but have now been dropped completely . Hits you hard but you get up, dust yourself off and move on. Use it as a life lesson.

It's only a waste of time if you don't learn from your mistakes"

See, I refer back to my first post. If you want to play in a hot passionate connecting way with someone from an nsa swinging sex site. That's your choice. You should go into it eyes open. It's not their fault if you get hurt. You can't really blame them for not approaching this site in the same way.

You just need to be philosophical in this way and recognise that it's really just you doing your own head in, setting yourself up in this way. It's perfectly fine to do it if it makes the sex more meaningful and passionate for you. But that's the choice you're making. That's my take on it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't believe women have greater feelings than men. We are just taught/forced to hide them.

OP - I think communication is key to all relationships friends/family/fb's etc. Start early to understand what's going on between you two. But honesty is needed. I really feel for you, and know what it's like... Plenty of guys on this site, many want someone special, you sound lovely and endearing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Establishing a bond with someone, and enjoying their company doesn't mean you want them for a life partner. Most people have acquaintances and then very close friends with whom they might share more time and personal thoughts, but there is no sexual connection. In my limited experience, it's the intimacy of sex that blurs the line for some, who take the physical acts, particularly if they become regular, as a sign of commitment. Men are more likely to not see beyond the physical act, but for many women it represents a deeper emotional link, despite any previously agreed terms..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I enjoy getting quite hot and desirous with the women I meet. They're not the love of my life. But they're not sex objects either. So I'm happy to play in this in between world which is a bit like romantic connecting role play, pretending you're falling in love, but not bringing any drama or strings into it. Perhaps this resonates with you and it describes how you like to play too?

Pretending you're falling in love?

Really?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This kind of thing doesn’t happen when you swing as a couple and let’s face it , that’s the very essence of swinging isn’t it ?

I think it's a "bloody shame" that you are speaking for all single women!

There are some couples in this world that develop the feels for someone that isn't their other half who'd have thunk it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't put ppl in categories...!

I'm single.

I've been hurt on and off site.

I've also been happy and content, on and off.

Whenever I'm heading for the used feeling... Flip it off, move on...

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"This kind of thing doesn’t happen when you swing as a couple and let’s face it , that’s the very essence of swinging isn’t it ?

I think it's a "bloody shame" that you are speaking for all single women!

There are some couples in this world that develop the feels for someone that isn't their other half who'd have thunk it

I didn’t mean to speak for all single women , but can see how it seems upon reading my post again .

With respect , it does seem to be way more single women who have the issue with unrequited feelings though doesn’t it ?

And yes , I’m sure there are couples who develop feelings for someone who isn’t their other half too . Especially those who choose to look for deep,and meaningful friendships , socials and so on ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I didn’t mean to speak for all single women , but can see how it seems upon reading my post again .

With respect , it does seem to be way more single women who have the issue with unrequited feelings though doesn’t it ?

You talk ( a lot ) about not having socials yet talk about "the essence of swinging"

Why don't you fill your boots your way and let everyone else get on with theirs!

Saying that most single women are emotionally attached is like saying that most couples have issues so they need to fuck other people to keep them together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pretending you're falling in love?

Really?"

Why not?

It's utterly delicious and makes everything so much more heated and desirous. I agree it's a bit unusual and isn't likely to find many fans on here, where everyone is so overly cautious about this kind of stuff and always twitchy and odd and unrelaxed and unnatural with people becoming anything more than complete strangers. But I love it and, being single, don't really see the need to distance the women I engage with, or have sex with them without seducing them. I'm quite happy to play it hot and steamy and romantic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pretending you're falling in love?

Really?"

I should add though that I don't mean this in the sense of pretending to a woman that I'm falling in love with them. This would be misleading and unethical. I mean it only in the sense of playing it hot, writing romantic beautiful messages that swell her heart, seducing her, teasing her into a deliciously driven desire to be close to me... and letting her do that to me too. Letting the game of pretending were falling in love play out... but realising all along that it's really just a gorgeous erotic game and being clear about that in the process. I hope that makes more sense

I'll shut up now lol

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

I didn’t mean to speak for all single women , but can see how it seems upon reading my post again .

With respect , it does seem to be way more single women who have the issue with unrequited feelings though doesn’t it ?

You talk ( a lot ) about not having socials yet talk about "the essence of swinging"

Why don't you fill your boots your way and let everyone else get on with theirs!

Saying that most single women are emotionally attached is like saying that most couples have issues so they need to fuck other people to keep them together

In what way are we not filling our boots our way and letting everyone else get on with theirs ?

I simply suggested that the majority of threads that bemoan the lack of feelings are written by single women .

I fail to see the relevance of your last remark pertaining to couples needing to fuck other people to keep them together to this thread , so shall ignore it .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pretending you're falling in love?

Really?

I'll shut up now lol

How very bizarre

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've said this many times before and I still believe it to be true..

Sometimes, men and women are actually seeking intimacy. Sex is purely a way to get a fix of it. Often we don't realise that at the time. That's when we start to feel used.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How very bizarre"

Lol it really is Alice in wonderland in here

Passionate poetic seductions leading to intense desirous sex. That's bizarre?

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By *inful xWoman over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

"Pretending you're falling in love?

Really?

I'll shut up now lol

The issue with your "game" is that games can easily change part way through without knowing. That's a very risky love game to play

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I always discuss ground rules before a meet so both or all parties know what’s what. No love just sex. Sex with passion and energy and enthusiasm though but physical not cerebral.

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By *iss FontaineWoman over a year ago

Northwest

" It's not a sin to develop feelings, and they happen without warning...which makes them deeper.

Better to realise now than after becoming more emotionally involved...though I doubt that helps right now.

Busy,always keep busy and one day you'll have a day where you forget."

Excellent advice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Pretending you're falling in love " unless thats an explicit fantasy /role play each party has agreed on and explored what on earth is wrong with you ?! Everyone knows where they stand , or lie when people are honest and direct . When one person behaves in a ' loving' manner but the other has no clue it's self serving , self seeking pretence, that is narcissistic manipulation, not no strings .Actions and words need to match up not contrast !!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The issue with your "game" is that games can easily change part way through without knowing. That's a very risky love game to play

I think the way I play is actually the way a lot of women want to play but simply can't find any men who see things in their way... something with more context, more connection, more seduction. Perhaps they should be careful what they wish for then

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By *oxesMan over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"Ok...I will admit I have become fond of a divorced guy in his 40s I have been seeing in a number of occasions from the north of Scotland and I do think I have become attached too much. Perhaps it was daft to think he would feel the same - after all we have met every month/few months for past 18months. However he quite clearly sees me as a totally insignificant part of his life and is not remotely interested in asking me any questions about myself. He has also been off the site for a few months at a time due to working offshore. I have met other guys from fab while I have seen him but I particularly got fond of him. I enjoy being on fab but this is a reminder that the vast majority are only seeking nsa sex and seem to programme themselves not to fall for anyone. I am thinking now of ending it before I get hurt. Has anyone been in a similar position?

Ps I am not looking to meet my soulmate from fab btw "

It is normal to feel conected to people on here. The science status that it is possible to be both covered and yet not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Pretending you're falling in love " unless thats an explicit fantasy /role play each party has agreed on and explored what on earth is wrong with you ?! Everyone knows where they stand , or lie when people are honest and direct . When one person behaves in a ' loving' manner but the other has no clue it's self serving , self seeking pretence, that is narcissistic manipulation, not no strings .Actions and words need to match up not contrast !! "

I said my bit to try and offer advice. There are a minority of us (probably mainly women) on this site who are happy playing in less of an nsa and more of a passionate seductive way. I trust that my words will resonate with them. Now the mud is starting to be slung and I'm beginning to be portrayed as some terrible monster I think I'll just let it go as it's really pointless even trying to engage with that.

I'm single. I'm really actually single. I have no problem playing in a seductive romantic way with other "single" women. But I choose not to do this in a naive way, imagining that they're actually single, and just approach it as a delicious role play. If they are actually single, like me, and we end up actually falling in love... well then that's wonderful too.

I don't see this as either "bizarre" or "narcissistic self serving pretence"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see this as either "bizarre" or "narcissistic self serving pretence"

Perhaps we were a tad confused about the wording of your posts.

You came across as ever so slightly creepy, and a tad arrogant

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I don't see this as either "bizarre" or "narcissistic self serving pretence"

I've read your posts. I quite like the way you would/could give your fab women what I consider the boyfriend experience, without the fluff

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By *D835Man over a year ago

London

"You are definitely not alone. Women do become attached, it’s in our nature, we meet someone on a regular basis we automatically show interest in their lives etc, and the more we know about the person the more we become emotionally involved on the most basic level. It’s our gift and our curse.

Well said, so true.

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By *iss FontaineWoman over a year ago

Northwest

[Removed by poster at 24/03/18 23:18:34]

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

Well said, so true.

Yep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/18 23:37:11]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't see this as either "bizarre" or "narcissistic self serving pretence"

Perhaps we were a tad confused about the wording of your posts.

You came across as ever so slightly creepy, and a tad arrogant"

I think he was confused about what he wrote, not us . He probably fell in love and went all googly eyed and it affected his cognitive function

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all your comments. Its always good to hear other viewpoints which I appreciate. I have decided to continue to meet others on here and perhaps not become 'available' when he messages me.

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By *ig9incherforuMan over a year ago

Welwyn

"Thanks for all your comments. Its always good to hear other viewpoints which I appreciate. I have decided to continue to meet others on here and perhaps not become 'available' when he messages me. "

You can't really have fallen for him if you make yourself available to other guys on here!

Just using them for sex?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks for all your comments. Its always good to hear other viewpoints which I appreciate. I have decided to continue to meet others on here and perhaps not become 'available' when he messages me.

You can't really have fallen for him if you make yourself available to other guys on here!

Just using them for sex?"

Don't assume I am seeing other guys for sex..if you read my profile and verifications you will find to the contrary

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've said this many times before and I still believe it to be true..

Sometimes, men and women are actually seeking intimacy. Sex is purely a way to get a fix of it. Often we don't realise that at the time. That's when we start to feel used. "

A very wise statement there! i hope you didn't learn the hard way?

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I've said this many times before and I still believe it to be true..

Sometimes, men and women are actually seeking intimacy. Sex is purely a way to get a fix of it. Often we don't realise that at the time. That's when we start to feel used.

A very wise statement there! i hope you didn't learn the hard way? "

Yep I agree. There’s a lot of truth in that statement

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I fell in love with my ex FB. A year into us meeting. I thought he felt the same. He didn't. Two years down the line we don't speak anymore. Accused me if telling his life story. I never. I can't defend myself he's blocked me. But that's his loss. I have a man now who adores me and we know where its going

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

For me it was slightly different. I'd been seeing someone at least once a month for two years. We always met at my home.

We were in my bed when I bought up our next meet. I said my daughter will be home from uni so we'd have to meet at his.

He looked at me aghast and said he didn't invite women he'd met off the internet into his home: it wasn't a knocking shop!

I kicked him out of my bed and house. Do you know he didn't understand why. He bombarded me with calls, he sent me flowers...never uttered a word to him again.

Now I don't meet those who don't accommodate: not because I think they're married but because I think they don't want me in their house.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/18 11:36:42]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's vert painful to feel this way. I'm also a less than vital part of someone's life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've said this many times before and I still believe it to be true..

Sometimes, men and women are actually seeking intimacy. Sex is purely a way to get a fix of it. Often we don't realise that at the time. That's when we start to feel used.

A very wise statement there! i hope you didn't learn the hard way?

Yep I agree. There’s a lot of truth in that statement"

So spot on it's unreal

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's vert painful to feel this way. I'm also a less than vital part of someone's life."

You have a pic of a woman on a male profile

I didnt think that was allowed

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"For me it was slightly different. I'd been seeing someone at least once a month for two years. We always met at my home.

We were in my bed when I bought up our next meet. I said my daughter will be home from uni so we'd have to meet at his.

He looked at me aghast and said he didn't invite women he'd met off the internet into his home: it wasn't a knocking shop!

Ghastly attitude!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's vert painful to feel this way. I'm also a less than vital part of someone's life.

You have a pic of a woman on a male profile

I didnt think that was allowed"

Report me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You're not the only one OP. It's crap when so called friends don't care.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For me it was slightly different. I'd been seeing someone at least once a month for two years. We always met at my home.

We were in my bed when I bought up our next meet. I said my daughter will be home from uni so we'd have to meet at his.

He looked at me aghast and said he didn't invite women he'd met off the internet into his home: it wasn't a knocking shop!

I kicked him out of my bed and house. Do you know he didn't understand why. He bombarded me with calls, he sent me flowers...never uttered a word to him again.

Now I don't meet those who don't accommodate: not because I think they're married but because I think they don't want me in their house."

I would have been very hurt at that remark and done what you did

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For me it was slightly different. I'd been seeing someone at least once a month for two years. We always met at my home.

We were in my bed when I bought up our next meet. I said my daughter will be home from uni so we'd have to meet at his.

He looked at me aghast and said he didn't invite women he'd met off the internet into his home: it wasn't a knocking shop!

I kicked him out of my bed and house. Do you know he didn't understand why. He bombarded me with calls, he sent me flowers...never uttered a word to him again.

Now I don't meet those who don't accommodate: not because I think they're married but because I think they don't want me in their house.

I would have been very hurt at that remark and done what you did"

Why are women surprised that men they meet for NSA sex turn out to be wankers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've read your posts. I quite like the way you would/could give your fab women what I consider the boyfriend experience, without the fluff

Thanks for this Lady Lick

Yes "boyfriend experience" sums it up perfectly. But I shy away from that phrase because it sounds like something a prostitute would say lol

I'm happy with what I wrote. It reads fine. People on the web can be quick to say "you're coming across wrong". But more often it's just them projecting their own assumptions, rather than reading what was actually written

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By *iss.RedWoman over a year ago

somewhere

Not a nice feeling at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks. "

Quite rightly?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks. "

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *iReyWoman over a year ago

Cheshire East

Well let’s face it FAB isn’t a dating site. It’s a swinging one. I know we’re all vulnerable to unrequited love sometimes but the very nature of the site itself should be a clue as to why men behave this way with single fems. It’s even worse since it found itself in the media, we’ve had an influx of people joining who just want a quick fuck, will tell you what you want to hear to get one, then move onto the next one and have not one single jot of an essence of swinger in them. If it’s love you’re after, head over to POF or something and keep people you meet from here behind an emotional barrier

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value? "

You can't expect 'respect' when you're meeting men on a site like this. Hard to hear perhaps, but men do not see a profile and think ling term relationship and lovey, they think lovely holes to stick their bits inside. Can't very well expect them to conclude you're worth real investment months down the line when he's already got what you advertised.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well let’s face it FAB isn’t a dating site. It’s a swinging one. I know we’re all vulnerable to unrequited love sometimes but the very nature of the site itself should be a clue as to why men behave this way with single fems. It’s even worse since it found itself in the media, we’ve had an influx of people joining who just want a quick fuck, will tell you what you want to hear to get one, then move onto the next one and have not one single jot of an essence of swinger in them. If it’s love you’re after, head over to POF or something and keep people you meet from here behind an emotional barrier

Precisely

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks. "

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Right. The age old misogyny of certain men devaluing a woman who dares to match him in terms of sexual confidence

give me a break.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't."

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied"

they generally have much smaller balls than me, that's for sure!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied"

Be as liberated as you like. Stop shining when men interpret your love for lots of random dick as being low value side fucks they don't want in their houses, let alone their hearts.

Btw, I'm a huge fan of slutty women,and I do acvomodate

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied"

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise. "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

Be as liberated as you like. Stop shining when men interpret your love for lots of random dick as being low value side fucks they don't want in their houses, let alone their hearts.

Btw, I'm a huge fan of slutty women,and I do acvomodate

Is that you giving me permission?

Thankyou kind sir

I'll doff my cap on the way out

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise. "

As humans, yes, but as what, lovers /partners. Nonsense. Entitled nonsense. Oh I can be as big a slut as I want and men should respect and value me. Good luck with that.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

Be as liberated as you like. Stop shining when men interpret your love for lots of random dick as being low value side fucks they don't want in their houses, let alone their hearts.

Btw, I'm a huge fan of slutty women,and I do acvomodate

Is that you giving me permission?

Thankyou kind sir

I'll doff my cap on the way out"

Na. Too old.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise.

As humans, yes, but as what, lovers /partners. Nonsense. Entitled nonsense. Oh I can be as big a slut as I want and men should respect and value me. Good luck with that.

I think you'll find the happily married, happily swinging couples would disagree with you here

thankfully there are many men who have evolved past the 1950s attitude to women's sexual liberation. For those who haven't, that's their loss. Over and out from me.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"For me it was slightly different. I'd been seeing someone at least once a month for two years. We always met at my home.

We were in my bed when I bought up our next meet. I said my daughter will be home from uni so we'd have to meet at his.

He looked at me aghast and said he didn't invite women he'd met off the internet into his home: it wasn't a knocking shop!

I kicked him out of my bed and house. Do you know he didn't understand why. He bombarded me with calls, he sent me flowers...never uttered a word to him again.

Now I don't meet those who don't accommodate: not because I think they're married but because I think they don't want me in their house.

I would have been very hurt at that remark and done what you did

Why are women surprised that men they meet for NSA sex turn out to be wankers."

I don't think it unreasonable after two years to suggest meeting at the other persons home for once. I wasn't bringing soft furnishings and potted plants.

If he'd made an excuse, travel for work etc as we've both had to cancel meets for in the past, no harm, no foul.

Relaxing in my bed whilst making it clear I'd never be welcomed in his is something else, and expecting to continue meeting in my home?!! Yeah...right!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise.

As humans, yes, but as what, lovers /partners. Nonsense. Entitled nonsense. Oh I can be as big a slut as I want and men should respect and value me. Good luck with that.

Quite a few men and women think that way but interestingly believe that men can behave any way they wish sexually and still be valued and respected...even congratulated.

It's a funny old world.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise.

As humans, yes, but as what, lovers /partners. Nonsense. Entitled nonsense. Oh I can be as big a slut as I want and men should respect and value me. Good luck with that.

What about men, is it ok for them to be as big a slut as they want, will they be respected and valued?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *aughtius MaximiusMan over a year ago

Bromley

"Met many that say you are the one! Never true! Guys on here just want a shag, believe it and carry on xxx"

Not true. I’m definitely looking for love and a long term relationship preferably from Fabs. Men have feelings too!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

I don't expect it but I get it, along with declarations of love. Not all men have archaic opinions on women and sex.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise.

As humans, yes, but as what, lovers /partners. Nonsense. Entitled nonsense. Oh I can be as big a slut as I want and men should respect and value me. Good luck with that.

I've never been a slut and I only meet men who do value and respect me, so I have no problem there, I give the misogynistic creeps a wide berth, they are easy to spot!!

I guess some woman must have fucked your head up at some point in your life for you to become so venomous, but you need to deal with that, it's deeply unattractive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

.and you are absolutely right - fab is not a dating site and I definitely don't want to meet a soulmate or anyone to settle down with on fab. If I did I know exactly what sites would suit better. I have had many meets on fab and not all socials either. I guess I just took a particular shine to one individual and that was it. When we do meet we generally spend a good few hours together chatting too as well as sex. However I won't let.myself get emotionally involved again and probably make a point of having a long break between meets with one person. There were a lot of very interesting points discussed in this particular forum post which I have taken on board.

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By *eal Deal PartiesWoman over a year ago

I feel ur pain ladies, as this has just happened to me after 4 years..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I guess I just took a particular shine to one individual and that was it. When we do meet we generally spend a good few hours together chatting too as well as sex. However I won't let myself get emotionally involved again and probably make a point of having a long break between meets with one person."

I think you have to decide what it is you're looking for. For me meaningless sex is so meaningless that I'm genuinely not interested in it. If I'm going to do anything on here it's got to be something that I actually want to do, something rewarding. I fear if you steer away from a more emotionally open form of playing towards something more detached, you may find it simply unfulfilling and perhaps even somewhat degrading. I know I would. If you feel similarly then really all you can do is dust yourself off, wallow in some beautiful Pablo Neruda poetry, and get out of there again looking for someone new to share that special connection with. As always... just my 2p

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I blame shit hot sex.

If the sex is good then it’s a downward spiral into catching the feels. You don’t hear folk falling for those who were shit in bed!

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a shit hot lover your husband or wife.

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

"I blame shit hot sex.

If the sex is good then it’s a downward spiral into catching the feels. You don’t hear folk falling for those who were shit in bed!

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a shit hot lover your husband or wife.

Very good advice

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I blame shit hot sex.

If the sex is good then it’s a downward spiral into catching the feels. You don’t hear folk falling for those who were shit in bed!

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a shit hot lover your husband or wife.

Yep. That's the dream!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I blame shit hot sex.

If the sex is good then it’s a downward spiral into catching the feels. You don’t hear folk falling for those who were shit in bed!

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a shit hot lover your husband or wife.

Yep. That's the dream!

Yeah, but where can you find a shit hot lover?

Alot of men are desperately inexperienced

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I blame shit hot sex.

If the sex is good then it’s a downward spiral into catching the feels. You don’t hear folk falling for those who were shit in bed!

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make a shit hot lover your husband or wife.

Yep. That's the dream!

Yeah, but where can you find a shit hot lover?

Alot of men are desperately inexperienced"

Or teach them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sorry my last comment was probably confusing. I actually have no intention of having sex with anyone again on fab unless it is with someone who is interested in me as a person and not using me for sex. I agree that meaningless sex is not for me and although I will continue to meet guys it will be for socials and perhaps bdsm fun which I do enjoy.

And yep I will be happy to become fond of someone if they feel the same way about me - a good FWB is probably what I am seeking.

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By *entleman JayMan over a year ago

Wakefield

Please don’t tar all men with the same brush!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/18 22:33:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

The men that think that way are insecure. They feel threatened by the possibility that an experienced women has had much better sex than they can provide.

That's why deep down they'd really like to settle down with a virgin. Its all about their ego.

An emotionally and sexually developed man with the confidence in his ability to be the best bet for her will never be threatened by her story.

Mr Spice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

The men that think that way are insecure. They feel threatened by the possibility that an experienced women has had much better sex than they can provide.

That's why deep down they'd really like to settle down with a virgin. Its all about their ego.

An emotionally and sexually developed man with the confidence in his ability to be the best bet for her will never be threatened by her story.

Mr Spice. "

Ain't that the truth

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By *oxesMan over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

That's not an uncommon point of view.

Couples have met on fab and successfully formed long term, mutually respectful relationships in which they value each other.

Some men on here are jerks but lots aren't.

Yes, the jerks

The men that simply cannot get their heads around women that are sexually liberated and experienced

And live in a little bubble of sexism and outdated garbage

Perhaps they are threatened?

I dont know, but they are to be pitied

People are worthy of being respected and valued wherever you find them, though bitter, misogynistic attitudes are easy to despise.

As humans, yes, but as what, lovers /partners. Nonsense. Entitled nonsense. Oh I can be as big a slut as I want and men should respect and value me. Good luck with that.

Well I'm sorry they should, everyone deserves a certain amount of affordiant respect, otherwise there would not be any women on here and fabswingers would not be the same.

How would you like it if you felt just like a piece of slab meat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I strongly suspect this guy has a shock of pink hair, a wide nose and hairy toes... I have to think that or the rage bubbles so hot that my eyebrows will singe.

How dare anyone, man or woman, feel that women who enjoy and pursue sex of any kind have less value, or deserves less respect, than women who don't. It's positively Victorian.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not defending the guy, but can sort of see his perspective. Working off shore he is away 6 months of the year, and he is devorced. Did his job have a part to play in that maybe? Perhaps he is protecting his own feelings by being clinicaly unavailable? I dont know but i wish you the best of luck OP

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not defending the guy, but can sort of see his perspective. Working off shore he is away 6 months of the year, and he is devorced. Did his job have a part to play in that maybe? Perhaps he is protecting his own feelings by being clinicaly unavailable? I dont know but i wish you the best of luck OP"

Great point.

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By *G LanaTV/TS over a year ago

Gosport

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks. "

Sorry that is wrong. Some of us will respect women met through swinging sites. I met my ex wife through a now deceased swinging site and although the relationship failed in the long term I still respect her if not absolutely all of her decisions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am in totally understand your situation. I was see a guy regularly for about a year. It started off well enough.

We would meet for sex when we were both free. Then he started with offer a drink afterward. This progressed to a meal. Eventually I was spending hours at time with him and began asking me to stay with him overnight.

I knew we were getting too close. I tried to end it. Told him I had developed feelings for him and we should ended before someone got hurt.

He convinced me keeping seeing him saying that he wouldn’t hurt me.

Two months on he tells me looking for girlfriend because being with me made him feel that he didn’t want to meet other people. (I think that was a load of bullocks) He wanted to still see me for sex and the if got a girlfriend he would end it with me.

I was devastated. It felt like a kick in the guts.

ADVICE: I think you are doing the right thing by cut contact. The NO CONTACT rule is hard but it does work in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Dont wish to dredge this comment back from the sewer but it made me

so much the temptation was overwhelming. Just

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great point. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I actually don't know as he is a very private person and says little about his private life -as well as asking me nothing about mine. Tbh this is really what has put me off. I have know him for well over a year and when you meet regularly surely it's human nature to want to know about the person you are intimate with after all this time! Or perhaps he was badly hurt in the past - who knows..

Great point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Before this thread drifts off into never I wanted to say a couple of things about romantic role play as the opportunity may not present itself again.

Firstly, before I came on here I met a couple of women on a different site who both told me how unusual it was to meet a man like me who showered them in such beautiful words, making them feel truly desired and desirable. Awakening them in this way. One had literally never had a man connect with her in this beautiful passionate and romantic way before. So she had to overcome an enormous amount of scepticism before meeting me. The other said it reminded her of what her husband had been like with her when they first met.

There is something quite sad in these women's stories. Has the art of courtship died? And, although we didn't click when we met, it was a real honour to have brought this romantic deliciousness into their lives.

Secondly, I wanted to say that, on the outside looking in to Fab, it seems to me that my way of playing really opens me up to be utterly genuine. I have zero fear of falling in love and zero fear of being heartbroken. They are both far better than being bored silly decades on end before dropping dead. As such, when you meet me it'll be like going on a real date, albeit a rather steamy flirtatious date lol

I have no need of all the bizarre protective devices and habits that others seem to exhibit on here. I don't need to keep anyone a stranger or act weird buggers on them. I'm totally comfortable just being me and honestly seeking gorgeous sexual connections with gorgeously sexual women.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only a select few on fab are honest with people .i think alot are on fab for no strings sex and alot will never want a relationship or will never keep one .

Its a sex site and keep it that way in your head and then you will never get hurt.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Dont wish to dredge this comment back from the sewer but it made me

so much the temptation was overwhelming. Just

To be honest his comment came as no great surprise to me. He's not alone in his views, just unusual in that he voiced it openly and didn't back track.

Fair play to him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've already encountered a couple of people on here who's only reason they could find for not meeting me is that I sounded too good to be true. How sad is that? Not about them I mean. About Fab... that the way I am is just so different and beautiful from most men on here that I sound like a fake. One woman told me she was honestly shocked to have received a genuinely sexy message from a man on here for the first time ever

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've already encountered a couple of people on here who's only reason they could find for not meeting me is that I sounded too good to be true. How sad is that? Not about them I mean. About Fab... that the way I am is just so different and beautiful from most men on here that I sound like a fake. One woman told me she was honestly shocked to have received a genuinely sexy message from a man on here for the first time ever

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its funny fab ,i was seeing someone Off fab weekly for 18 months .Got on great .Best sex ever his words and he moved away and wants to date but nobody off fab .its a laugh considering most chat on fab that they are on dating sites .i couldnt do both as best too concentrate on dating than swinging .good luck i say too his search .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door"

That's so nice of you to say

Unfortunately I suspect the truth will be slightly different. Amongst the various lovingly crafted messages I have sitting in my sent box unseen by their potential recipients and quite possibly lost under a pile of one liners is a beautiful poem by Pablo Neruda that I wrote both in English and Spanish to a lovely looking Spanish woman. In sharp contrast the only genuine offer I've yet had is from someone who had an hour to spare and wanted me to fill all the holes

So I turned it down. We shall see what comes of it all on here

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By *antsguy007Man over a year ago

Whiteley

"Its funny fab ,i was seeing someone Off fab weekly for 18 months .Got on great .Best sex ever his words and he moved away and wants to date but nobody off fab .its a laugh considering most chat on fab that they are on dating sites .i couldnt do both as best too concentrate on dating than swinging .good luck i say too his search .

I think if I was lucky enough to find a lass on fab that wanted to date - I would expect us both to step away from fab for a bit to see if we could build a genuine relationship. If we could and both then wanted to return to fab then great

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door

That's so nice of you to say

So I turned it down. We shall see what comes of it all on here

You're being ironic surely?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door

That's so nice of you to say

So I turned it down. We shall see what comes of it all on here

Not all women want what you're offering, especially those who are happy with the 'no strings' convenience of Fab.

It's difficult for many to believe the integrity of an 'over the top' message from a man they have never met and has probably not even seen their face.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door

That's so nice of you to say

So I turned it down. We shall see what comes of it all on here

Not all women want what you're offering, especially those who are happy with the 'no strings' convenience of Fab.

It's difficult for many to believe the integrity of an 'over the top' message from a man they have never met and has probably not even seen their face. "

You'd think so but there are women here who value the "hot" from the hot or not threads when all they have on display is an eyelash!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door

That's so nice of you to say

So I turned it down. We shall see what comes of it all on here

You're being ironic surely? "

Nah, poetry goes nicely with a bit of fisting. You gotta be more open minded

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Do NOT say goodbye just yet.

Was he from FAB ? Do you meet on a NSA basis?

If he wasn't from FAB tell him that you like him and would miss him if you stopped seeing him. ( Don't lay it on heavy )

Then just check out his response.

Plan your next move after that.

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By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

"I think on here you have to assume that you're an insignificant part in everyone's life. Sometimes the reality of that sucks , especially if you're fond of them.

Be kind to yourself OP , move on and let him go. Remember the fun you had and look forward to more fun with new people x"
Fantastic advice

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke."

I have a long term buddy who never asks questions and knows very little about me. He's sure that he definitely loves me. That's nice, because it makes the sex fucking amazing, but I don't love him and there is no drama in our relationship. It's lovely.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door"

You are wicked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, you do sound beautiful.

I'm sure the ladies will be beating down your door

You are wicked

I am not. I'm very, very lovely. Like a big fluffy pussycat

Or a cute bunny rabbit

Sweet and kind and gentle. Thats me.

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By *he Silver FuxMan over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

“You can’t expect respect”

Regardless of the reason for meeting - respect is important even if it’s a one off NSA encounter . I’d never stick my dick in someone I didn’t respect or didn’t respect me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Dont wish to dredge this comment back from the sewer but it made me

so much the temptation was overwhelming. Just

To be honest his comment came as no great surprise to me. He's not alone in his views, just unusual in that he voiced it openly and didn't back track.

Fair play to him.

Its still no less a dissapointment to hear it voiced out loud

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No woman wants to feel like theyve just been used even knowing what they are here for, i do think that theres a very fine line, not wanting a fuck and go expiriance so wanting after sex cuddles to soften the casual sex expiriance can and in my opinion a very inimate act, leads to confusion, men are far better at keeping feelings tucked away and feeling " nothing " than us ladies xxx

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke."

I love that way of looking at it - you want your sex and laughs without the aggro . And that pretty much sums up our definition of swinging too .

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By *egasus NobMan over a year ago

Wandsworth

neediness, not a good trait to have, why rely on someone else to make you feel significant. Seems to me the communication isn't very strong hence why you thought both of you were in a relationship of some sort.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke."

That's a great way of looking at it, never thought of it this way before. Nice one Granny.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke.

That's a great way of looking at it, never thought of it this way before. Nice one Granny.

I don't tend to ask my meets about their CV/history either. This was one guy out of many I met on here I just happened to fall for. I'm not a needy person either. I just became fond of HIM!

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke.

That's a great way of looking at it, never thought of it this way before. Nice one Granny.

I don't tend to ask my meets about their CV/history either. This was one guy out of many I met on here I just happened to fall for. I'm not a needy person either. I just became fond of HIM! "

I find it dead wierd that people here would sleep with anyone on a regular basis and NOT be interested in what's going on in their lives! I have had FB's to whom I don't get the slightest bit attached, but as friends we are both interested in chatting about anything and everything going on in our lives, I consider it bizarre and slightly inhuman not to be, even if we're just spending an evening together.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke.

That's a great way of looking at it, never thought of it this way before. Nice one Granny.

I don't tend to ask my meets about their CV/history either. This was one guy out of many I met on here I just happened to fall for. I'm not a needy person either. I just became fond of HIM! "

I didn't say you were needy. I was thinking of Granny's comment in relation to me that's all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a huge generalisation. I have a long term buddy. He asks about my family and I tell him to mind his own. I never ask about his family /friends / life.......

I want the sex and laughs without the aggro ........ to paraphrase someone above. And no im not a bloke.

That's a great way of looking at it, never thought of it this way before. Nice one Granny.

I don't tend to ask my meets about their CV/history either. This was one guy out of many I met on here I just happened to fall for. I'm not a needy person either. I just became fond of HIM!

I agree. How can you spend any considerable time with a person, and not know about their life?

What on earth do you talk about?

Do you have to keep saying " oh no, talking about our kids is off limits?"

Just weird to me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it dead wierd that people here would sleep with anyone on a regular basis and NOT be interested in what's going on in their lives! I have had FB's to whom I don't get the slightest bit attached, but as friends we are both interested in chatting about anything and everything going on in our lives, I consider it bizarre and slightly inhuman not to be, even if we're just spending an evening together.

I agree. How can you spend any considerable time with a person, and not know about their life?

What on earth do you talk about?

Do you have to keep saying " oh no, talking about our kids is off limits?"

Just weird to me"

I think the purpose of meeting someone for hot sex is precisely for a delicious mutual escapism where neither of you are encumbered by whatever dramas or dreariness you might be enduring in your "real" life. By bringing your mundanity into it you may end up defusing the delicious fantasy of it all and doing the opposite of old King Midas. Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree. How can you spend any considerable time with a person, and not know about their life?

What on earth do you talk about?

Do you have to keep saying " oh no, talking about our kids is off limits?"

Just weird to me

And you're entitled to it

Personally, I prefer sex with human beings. And intelligent conversation

Otherwise, I may as well stay at home with my vibrators

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I agree. How can you spend any considerable time with a person, and not know about their life?

What on earth do you talk about?

Do you have to keep saying " oh no, talking about our kids is off limits?"

Just weird to me

And you're entitled to it

Personally, I prefer sex with human beings. And intelligent conversation

Yeah, me too - as for the other - been there, done that, got the t-shirt, bored with it now! lol!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Dont wish to dredge this comment back from the sewer but it made me

so much the temptation was overwhelming. Just

May be you should have left it in that sewer.

Not all guys think that way. Some of us seek more than fuck and run...

And and are even open to friendship or more if we find the right person to connect with.

After all fuck and run has so many limitations that actually liking and wanting to share stuff with another will never satisfy...

Wanders back into the man cave reflectively....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Personally, I prefer sex with human beings. And intelligent conversation"

And in stark contrast to you Personally, I prefer sex with human beings. And intelligent conversation

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

I agree. How can you spend any considerable time with a person, and not know about their life?

What on earth do you talk about?

Do you have to keep saying " oh no, talking about our kids is off limits?"

Just weird to me

And you're entitled to it

Personally, I prefer sex with human beings. And intelligent conversation

Otherwise, I may as well stay at home with my vibrators"

One persons definition of intelligent conversation will be another’s nightmare . As some have said , conversations about family , kids , etc.... will be off limits for many of us . As will the crap that goes on in everyday life . Who wants that with nsa sex ?

Now , if we are talking about dating and relationships that’s a different story . .....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The only part one of my ex's was interested in, was my wallet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Dont wish to dredge this comment back from the sewer but it made me

so much the temptation was overwhelming. Just

May be you should have left it in that sewer.

Not all guys think that way. Some of us seek more than fuck and run...

And and are even open to friendship or more if we find the right person to connect with.

After all fuck and run has so many limitations that actually liking and wanting to share stuff with another will never satisfy...

Wanders back into the man cave reflectively....

Seems even cavemen have reached more enlightenment than the above 'modern man'

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By *ficouldMan over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

'Never make someone a priority if they only consider you an option'?

But sometimes it takes sometime to realise.

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

'Never make someone a priority if they only consider you an option'?

But sometimes it takes sometime to realise. "

It does indeed!

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By *egasus NobMan over a year ago

Wandsworth

'Never make someone a priority if they only consider you an option'?

But sometimes it takes sometime to realise.

It does indeed!

they are not in a relationship why should he make her a priority nothing wrong with having a conversation, chilling and relaxing, have a great time together but that is only if you both have the time. Usually, the purpose of FWB is due to not having time to share with a partner, self-development or can stand living with somebody else.

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By *egs11ABCWoman over a year ago

Aberdeen

This happened to me then he had the nerve to text me saying she's frigid fancy meeting up. Piss off creep!!! X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?

This can work both ways..."

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

'Never make someone a priority if they only consider you an option'?

But sometimes it takes sometime to realise.

It does indeed!

Being open and honest up front, then great, leading others up the proverbial garden path? Just makes them lying bastards, regardless of sex!

Plus I think you have the FWB mixed up, you are not treating them as friends, no matter how you try and dress it up!

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

You can't really have fallen for him if you make yourself available to other guys on here!"

Do people on a swinging site really think this?

Really?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There seems to be a lot if sweeping generalisations going on here. Men from all walks of life can be pricks... But then so can women. I've actually heard far more horror stories from guys re swinging meets and psycho birds than I have heard about men being obvious douche bags.

It is possible to compartmentalise as a woman and be emotionally detached. It takes a bit of work for sure but it certainly can be done. I'm not sure its healthy in the long term though. I know ultimately I want to be adored and to keep swinging with someone... Perhaps its different just doing solo meets.

But I hope you're heart feels better soon OP xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Dont wish to dredge this comment back from the sewer but it made me

so much the temptation was overwhelming. Just

May be you should have left it in that sewer.

Not all guys think that way. Some of us seek more than fuck and run...

And and are even open to friendship or more if we find the right person to connect with.

After all fuck and run has so many limitations that actually liking and wanting to share stuff with another will never satisfy...

Wanders back into the man cave reflectively....

Seems even cavemen have reached more enlightenment than the above 'modern man'

Strangely enlightenment seems a less than popular commodity on fab....

And many of both genders think that just friction is fulfilling enough...

But it just turns us into disposable commodities with little to connect people beyond...

I wonder what richness of experience we all miss that way..

Wanders back into the man cave and contemplates....

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

'Never make someone a priority if they only consider you an option'?

But sometimes it takes sometime to realise.

It does indeed!

they are not in a relationship why should he make her a priority "

You misread the quote - it is saying never give more priority to someone than they give to you, that's NOT demanding anything more from anyone, just the opposite!!

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By *orkiecplCouple over a year ago

York

If you are looking for a relentionship your on the wrong site this is a swinging site and therefore nsa sex is what it's all about not relentionships

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

Lol really?! Possibly with guys just wanting solo hookups but plenty of men on here wanting genuine companionship within a swinging relationship. And they have a huge amount of respect for the women on the swinging scene. I know lots of couples who met through Fab who adore each other. Some have been together years and are now even married.

This is why I only do clubs and parties. Because you meet guys who genuinely understand the lifestyle of swinging.

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By *eedsmale36Man over a year ago

Leeds

"I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?"

Your wrong, please marry me

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By *eedsmale36Man over a year ago

Leeds

Ps I am not looking to meet my soulmate from fab btw "

Stop whinging, just lay back and enjoy his fat cock and his even fatter off-shore wallet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ps I am not looking to meet my soulmate from fab btw

Stop whinging, just lay back and enjoy his fat cock and his even fatter off-shore wallet

Sorry the sugar daddy scenario isn't my scene

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By *ANDA2Couple over a year ago

Henley Arden

"Must stop meeting me on sex sites then. No man will value or respect a woman he meets here, quite rightly. It's not supernatural the guys on here are jerks.

"quite rightly"?? Really? So a sexually confident woman has no right to respect or value?

This attitude seems to belong to the dark ages.

I’m please to say our experience is totally at odds with this statement.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've said this many times before and I still believe it to be true..

Sometimes, men and women are actually seeking intimacy. Sex is purely a way to get a fix of it. Often we don't realise that at the time. That's when we start to feel used. "

Really insightful, and explains the times I felt bruised in my early days on this site. Thank you. I miss intimacy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I've said this many times before and I still believe it to be true..

Sometimes, men and women are actually seeking intimacy. Sex is purely a way to get a fix of it. Often we don't realise that at the time. That's when we start to feel used.

Really insightful, and explains the times I felt bruised in my early days on this site. Thank you. I miss intimacy."

Agreed.

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By *aggie and DanCouple over a year ago

Swansea

Ps I am not looking to meet my soulmate from fab btw "

Fab is not a place to find love-it's a hook up site. Granted, there is always an emotional exchange when people have sex but the longer you chase love the faster it runs away from you. Try going to a bar and speaking with people; at least it's a real experience.A nice girl like you would be swept up if it were not for the death of seduction caused in the main by social media and the hook up culture. FYI If I was single I wouldn't bother and neither would he.

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By *aggie and DanCouple over a year ago

Swansea

"I think women get attached to guys that show interest, I have done the same, won't judge all men but I think most are just here for a Fuck and no agro, please tell me if I'm wrong?"

And women are different how?

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman over a year ago

in the shadows

We are are here temporarily.

The site evolves daily, people come and people go. Some chat for a long time , some just vanish like ghosts with no explanation . If you expect nothing from anyone on here , you will never be disappointed

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