FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Becoming too emotionally involved
Becoming too emotionally involved
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I had been having fun on a monthly basis for a few years with a widower I met on fab when he confessed he had very strong feelings for me and was hinting at a possible future together. As I couldn't offer more than a friends with benefits relationship because I didn't join Fab to fall in love. I ended things reluctantly and encouraged him to go on a proper dating site and he has now met someone this way. However I do so miss his company-we became good friends too - and wish we could have continued the way it started. I think this is one of the risks when you meet people on fab and grow to become very fond of someone. |
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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago
south coast |
"I had been having fun on a monthly basis for a few years with a widower I met on fab when he confessed he had very strong feelings for me and was hinting at a possible future together. As I couldn't offer more than a friends with benefits relationship because I didn't join Fab to fall in love. I ended things reluctantly and encouraged him to go on a proper dating site and he has now met someone this way. However I do so miss his company-we became good friends too - and wish we could have continued the way it started. I think this is one of the risks when you meet people on fab and grow to become very fond of someone."
Just part of life's ebs and flows.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its the same in vanilla world too.
Ive had some great fb friendships in the past, but knew it would come to an end when they found a gf.
I used to feel a shit mate, hoping they'd never meet someone, so i could keep my fb friendship going!
I've tried not to dwell on it, and just been happy for the good fun i had with them! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is always a risk emotions getting involved if you meet one person on your own frequently. For me the only safe way is to meet groups. That way it is just sex and does not become emotionally intimate. It is hard to say "I love you" when one guy is fucking your pussy and another is in your mouth.  |
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In general humans are designed to become emotionally involved with people they meet often, even if its that they feel they strongly dislike them. Meeting one on one I'm not surprised that strong feelings come in to it. |
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"In general humans are designed to become emotionally involved with people they meet often, even if its that they feel they strongly dislike them. Meeting one on one I'm not surprised that strong feelings come in to it."
Yes I totally agree, and unless your totally wired away from the feelings part this lifestyle would not suit most but also I hate the female or male who goes behind their partners back and leaves the fireworks till later thats certainly not a risk I,d think takeing but so many do on here they (might) be honest about it but does that make it any better.
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"There is always a risk emotions getting involved if you meet one person on your own frequently. For me the only safe way is to meet groups. That way it is just sex and does not become emotionally intimate. It is hard to say "I love you" when one guy is fucking your pussy and another is in your mouth. "
Plus, it’s rude to speak with your mouth full!
But I agree - regular meets / FWB’s are likely to become more on one side or other. And nothing wrong with that if you’re both happy with it, but if you want to avoid it, stick with group play or having a maximum number of meets with any one person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's always that risk, it's hard when good things end for sure but sometimes it enhances things. We met on site, at a time when we were both involved somewhat with other people (no one cheating before anyone comments) and started as fwb. I can honestly say now, that he is my best friend in the world and the love of my life! Feelings aren't always a bad thing  |
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Before I met jack on here ,I had a couple of regular meets.
Had a great time with them ,buy it was never anything more than fun.
I think it's great you encouraged him to go find someone special and be happy .
Often it's one sided and people end up hurt sadly
Miss |
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We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx"
The problem wasn't you. It was them. You're absolutely good enough! |
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"We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx
The problem wasn't you. It was them. You're absolutely good enough! "
Awww. Bless you XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx"
They might think that they wouldn't be enough for you. That you wouldn't be happy with a monogamous relationship or something. Or maybe you were 100% compatible sexually but not compatible in a life kind of way. |
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"We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx
The problem wasn't you. It was them. You're absolutely good enough! "
This totally Goodnite girl
You come across really well
Some always think the grass is greener etc xx
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In general humans are designed to become emotionally involved with people they meet often, even if its that they feel they strongly dislike them. Meeting one on one I'm not surprised that strong feelings come in to it."
Yes, you'd have to be pathologically cold-hearted not to become fond of someone. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's a perfectly natural reaction and why NSA can be tricky |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx
The problem wasn't you. It was them. You're absolutely good enough!
Awww. Bless you XX "
I get like this every now and again - I have a break and then come back to it! We are human - we have emotions - we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves (I know it’s hsrd!) xx |
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"We’re you just put off with the fact you met him on here?
It’s only a social platform like any other I suppose.
I’ve had my heart absolutely shafted by two guys on here that I grew to really be fond of... then it has me thinking... why wasn’t I good enough to be their gf?! They mail me now they have found themselves a lady that the sex is too vanilla and they need the fun still. It hurts me really as I’m a nice girl, I have a good job etc etc, I have a lot to offer. I suppose unless I ask them I will never know why I wasn’t good enough.
I know this is a different situation to yours as is you that didn’t want anything more but I know how you’re feeling in a way. Xx"
It's nothing to do with you not being good enough. It appears on the face of it that they were looking for a relationship and you weren't offering it. You are offering no strings sex which is what they're returning (or trying to) to you for.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks. I haven't met anyone to take his place as yet but I haven't change.my stance about not getting seriously involved with anyone. I definitely don't want that. But I am not keen to have one off meets personally. There has to be a degree of friendship..however I appreciate not everyone wants the above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks. I haven't met anyone to take his place as yet but I haven't change.my stance about not getting seriously involved with anyone. I definitely don't want that. But I am not keen to have one off meets personally. There has to be a degree of friendship..however I appreciate not everyone wants the above."
Only natural for feels to develop, great that you can love him enough to let him go, I hope he realises how lucky he was to have you in his life.
Focus on future opportunities, a whole world of gorgeous guys waiting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks. I haven't met anyone to take his place as yet but I haven't change.my stance about not getting seriously involved with anyone. I definitely don't want that. But I am not keen to have one off meets personally. There has to be a degree of friendship..however I appreciate not everyone wants the above.
Only natural for feels to develop, great that you can love him enough to let him go, I hope he realises how lucky he was to have you in his life.
Focus on future opportunities, a whole world of gorgeous guys waiting.
"
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