FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Spelling and grammar
Spelling and grammar
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss "
No it's not just you. There are about three threads a week from the grammar police.
No doubt the usual contributions will appear shortly  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss
No it's not just you. There are about three threads a week from the grammar police.
No doubt the usual contributions will appear shortly "
Don't get me wrong, I'm working class, no airs and graces. I just feel bad about judging people based on this and hope I can hide amongst the crowd! |
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By *wansfeetCouple
over a year ago
Guisborough |
Poor spelling and grammar are a turn off for me personally. The odd mistake here and there, no big issue, but profiles littered with them make it hard to understand and read.
Just my personal preference though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not withstanding dyslexia, the way someone writes says a certain amount but isn't the full picture.
I can forgive a lot but if I can't understand the conversation, things will fizzle out.
People don't sit tests before going in a club and do alright
*I'm a bloke so not exactly flooded with messages to spell check!* |
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I don't 'switch off', but do wonder what sort or person/people can let their profile be littered with spelling errors, especially with spell-checkers available - as I type this, my browser highlights things it thinks may be spelled wrong...
....what I find more annoying or frustrating are people using words or phrases incorrectly - 'discreet' and 'discrete' spring to mind... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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in seriousness:
Lets just say you are talking to this hot woman/man..and you can see a sexual attraction..but their spelling/grammar is off slightly or terribly...but for some reason you decide to give them the chance..so you move to a phone call or similar..the person talks nice and is intelligent and more importantly sounds like a whole lot of fun.
or should I have just simply quit the conversation via the texting stage, because I refused to accept my own barriers to communication? |
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Not worries about a couple of spelling mistakes or even apparent dyslexia.
It is about the effort that has (or has not) been put into the profile. TBH shouting and generalised rants are more of a turn off.
I am turned on by intelligent profiles and they can be spotted with or without a few typos. |
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"in seriousness:
Lets just say you are talking to this hot woman/man..and you can see a sexual attraction..but their spelling/grammar is off slightly or terribly...but for some reason you decide to give them the chance..so you move to a phone call or similar..the person talks nice and is intelligent and more importantly sounds like a whole lot of fun.
or should I have just simply quit the conversation via the texting stage, because I refused to accept my own barriers to communication?"
Personally, if I need a Rosetta Stone to translate I switch off. Likewise, no matter how hot a man looks if he sounds like Joe Pasquale it's not going to happen.
That said, that's my personal filter. Would I start a thread about it? No! There's no need to be an arse. |
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"in seriousness:
Lets just say you are talking to this hot woman/man..and you can see a sexual attraction..but their spelling/grammar is off slightly or terribly...but for some reason you decide to give them the chance..so you move to a phone call or similar..the person talks nice and is intelligent and more importantly sounds like a whole lot of fun.
or should I have just simply quit the conversation via the texting stage, because I refused to accept my own barriers to communication?
Personally, if I need a Rosetta Stone to translate I switch off. Likewise, no matter how hot a man looks if he sounds like Joe Pasquale it's not going to happen.
That said, that's my personal filter. Would I start a thread about it? No! There's no need to be an arse. "
Not sure if missed something but how is starting a thread asking a question being an arse? I did not detect an undertone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My judgement on whether I’d like to contact or meet someone is based on a whole suite of factors, and it’s the entire package (rather than one specific thing) that usually influences my decision.
The way they have written their profile and / or messages to me is one of those factors.
I get it that some people have dyslexia and so their spelling issues are involuntary but if someone around my age resorts to txt spk or one or two word abrupt messages etc then this is definitely a factor for me. Shoot me! |
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"My judgement on whether I’d like to contact or meet someone is based on a whole suite of factors, and it’s the entire package (rather than one specific thing) that usually influences my decision.
The way they have written their profile and / or messages to me is one of those factors.
I get it that some people have dyslexia and so their spelling issues are involuntary but if someone around my age resorts to txt spk or one or two word abrupt messages etc then this is definitely a factor for me. Shoot me!"
Absolutely spot on. Well said.  |
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"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss
No it's not just you. There are about three threads a week from the grammar police.
No doubt the usual contributions will appear shortly "
I think you mean 'contributors' instead of 'contributions'. |
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"My judgement on whether I’d like to contact or meet someone is based on a whole suite of factors, and it’s the entire package (rather than one specific thing) that usually influences my decision.
The way they have written their profile and / or messages to me is one of those factors.
I get it that some people have dyslexia and so their spelling issues are involuntary but if someone around my age resorts to txt spk or one or two word abrupt messages etc then this is definitely a factor for me. Shoot me!"
Yes!! This is what I'm talking about. Someone well over 30 typing out summit instead of something? Just, ugh. No thank you. I like to be spoken to with actual words not abbreviated terms primary school children use. That's not even so much intellect as it is bloody common sense! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"in seriousness:
Lets just say you are talking to this hot woman/man..and you can see a sexual attraction..but their spelling/grammar is off slightly or terribly...but for some reason you decide to give them the chance..so you move to a phone call or similar..the person talks nice and is intelligent and more importantly sounds like a whole lot of fun.
or should I have just simply quit the conversation via the texting stage, because I refused to accept my own barriers to communication?
Personally, if I need a Rosetta Stone to translate I switch off. Likewise, no matter how hot a man looks if he sounds like Joe Pasquale it's not going to happen.
That said, that's my personal filter. Would I start a thread about it? No! There's no need to be an arse. "
So, you give us your personal view in reply and than call the OP an arse for asking, priceless! |
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"It doesn't bother me.
I do love it when someone complains and they have a mistake on their profile though  "
I've just read my profile over twice because you've made me incredibly paranoid, hahaha!
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By *CDecauxMan
over a year ago
Caerphilly |
"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss "
I definitely do the same thing!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"in seriousness:
Lets just say you are talking to this hot woman/man..and you can see a sexual attraction..but their spelling/grammar is off slightly or terribly...but for some reason you decide to give them the chance..so you move to a phone call or similar..the person talks nice and is intelligent and more importantly sounds like a whole lot of fun.
or should I have just simply quit the conversation via the texting stage, because I refused to accept my own barriers to communication?
Personally, if I need a Rosetta Stone to translate I switch off. Likewise, no matter how hot a man looks if he sounds like Joe Pasquale it's not going to happen.
That said, that's my personal filter. Would I start a thread about it? No! There's no need to be an arse. "
A totally fair point! The same way that spelling and grammar are a sticking point for me, pedantry will be a sticking point for others.
As for starting a thread about it, I had just read a profile which grated a little and wondered if anyone else had the same hang up. You can find common ground in strange places..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It doesn't bother me.
I do love it when someone complains and they have a mistake on their profile though
I've just read my profile over twice because you've made me incredibly paranoid, hahaha!
"
Me too! I'll have to be extra careful now that I've started a riot over they're/there/their! |
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"Anyone that gets "annoyed,upset,put of" by poor/bad grammar isn't someone I would want to meet anyways. Obviously that's just me, each to their own.  "
Same here , but hey , as you say ....each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone that gets "annoyed,upset,put of" by poor/bad grammar isn't someone I would want to meet anyways. Obviously that's just me, each to their own. "
Did you do that deliberately? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Typically, I just found a typo on my profile. Pedantry and hypocrisy in one thread.......
As a genuine post script, I was highlighting something that I see as an issue from my perspective. I'm not judging people based on their education, good people are good people regardless of history.
I was curious to see if this is a common view, and how people feel about it. Conversation and sometimes conflict are stimulating, if nothing else, I may have found a few fellow FABers who I share common ground with.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind spelling or grammatical errors to be fair as you don't know unless specified that the person has English as an additional language.
Now people using text speak and abbreviations can scoot on. It's nothing but lazyness |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It doesn't bother me.
I do love it when someone complains and they have a mistake on their profile though
I've just read my profile over twice because you've made me incredibly paranoid, hahaha!
Me too! I'll have to be extra careful now that I've started a riot over they're/there/their!"
No riot, most people won't be bothered by what you've said. I would have thought you would have made sure your own profile was all correct though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My former FWB s grammar and spelling was very bad indeed, after almost 3 years he came out with it and told me he can't read or write very well. He is a great guy and I would have missed out if I had dismissed him coz of his spelling mistakes XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss
No it's not just you. There are about three threads a week from the grammar police.
No doubt the usual contributions will appear shortly
I think you mean 'contributors' instead of 'contributions'."
No I meant contributions 
Much as these are often same old same old; while the words and prejudices remain remarkably similar the contributors vary depending on when the thread is posted.
But nice try anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"in seriousness:
Lets just say you are talking to this hot woman/man..and you can see a sexual attraction..but their spelling/grammar is off slightly or terribly...but for some reason you decide to give them the chance..so you move to a phone call or similar..the person talks nice and is intelligent and more importantly sounds like a whole lot of fun.
or should I have just simply quit the conversation via the texting stage, because I refused to accept my own barriers to communication?
Personally, if I need a Rosetta Stone to translate I switch off. Likewise, no matter how hot a man looks if he sounds like Joe Pasquale it's not going to happen.
That said, that's my personal filter. Would I start a thread about it? No! There's no need to be an arse.
A totally fair point! The same way that spelling and grammar are a sticking point for me, pedantry will be a sticking point for others.
As for starting a thread about it, I had just read a profile which grated a little and wondered if anyone else had the same hang up. You can find common ground in strange places..... "
Lots of people have things that put them off so you won't be alone.
You'll find that for many people, their preferences are ok but other people's aren't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss
No it's not just you. There are about three threads a week from the grammar police.
No doubt the usual contributions will appear shortly
Don't get me wrong, I'm working class, no airs and graces. I just feel bad about judging people based on this and hope I can hide amongst the crowd! "
I wouldn't put much weight on that, there's this whole sea of middle class types who haven't read a book since college. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss "
Is it just me who (not "that")...
Write 100 lines and see me after class. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Please don’t get me started. Your, you’re and yours! They’re, there and their, and tongue argh! Sorry just a pet hate  "
This!! We see this all the time on here and online in general. I just about scraped a GCSE C back in the day, and I understand the difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn’t point out someone’s perceived shortcomings, unless they asked me why I declined. However, I feel a mutual level of intelligence makes for amazing connections - and therefore fantastic sex. You can, sometimes, perceive a lot by what’s written (not always)! I’ve had great meets with people whose spelling and grammar were less than perfect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An erudite, articulate message gets my attention and is more likely to warrant a reply.
I wouldn't, however, turn down a hot bloke just because his apostrophe game was poor! |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"My judgement on whether I’d like to contact or meet someone is based on a whole suite of factors, and it’s the entire package (rather than one specific thing) that usually influences my decision.
The way they have written their profile and / or messages to me is one of those factors.
I get it that some people have dyslexia and so their spelling issues are involuntary but if someone around my age resorts to txt spk or one or two word abrupt messages etc then this is definitely a factor for me. Shoot me!"
This |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"My judgement on whether I’d like to contact or meet someone is based on a whole suite of factors, and it’s the entire package (rather than one specific thing) that usually influences my decision.
The way they have written their profile and / or messages to me is one of those factors.
I get it that some people have dyslexia and so their spelling issues are involuntary but if someone around my age resorts to txt spk or one or two word abrupt messages etc then this is definitely a factor for me. Shoot me!
Yes!! This is what I'm talking about. Someone well over 30 typing out summit instead of something? Just, ugh. No thank you. I like to be spoken to with actual words not abbreviated terms primary school children use. That's not even so much intellect as it is bloody common sense!"
and this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have lessons to learn in life and sometimes it’s not nice to hear them. Particularly from online strangers. But any well-meaning criticism ends up being helpful to you in the long run, if deep down you know they’re right in some way or that they have a valid point, and you can accept it. It’s a good thing. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
Leaving factors such as disabilities and English not being a first language etc. to one side, the odd mistake/typo here and there doesn't bother me. I also think with a lot of people using smartphones with keys close to each other and predictive text/auto-correct possibly needs to be taken into account to an extent as well (although really some level of basic checking/proof-reading could be done).
I'm certainly not looking for absolute perfection in grammar, spelling and punctuation etc. and don't profess to be able to provide it; however if a profile and/or message is littered with mistakes and especially text speak, it does turn me off.
One that amuses me is "defiantly" for "definitely". I see that a lot. Damn auto-correct! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kick him in the nuts and send him to space" Undateables!!
Good reply pal. In my experience there are a lot of people on this site who are low in confidence and are trying to escape the harsh real world. We are all different so in the words from Bambi "if you ain't got nuffin nice to say don't say nuffin at all"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am generally attracted to people who take pride in themselves and what they do. If someone writes a profile or a message, that is intended to impress, I would think it’s normal to read through it and correct accordingly before pressing send. Those who don’t really care how they present themselves are likely to have a very different outlook on life to myself, so I would assume we are unlikely to click. I am the sort of person who believes in attention to detail.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all have lessons to learn in life and sometimes it’s not nice to hear them. Particularly from online strangers. But any well-meaning criticism ends up being helpful to you in the long run, if deep down you know they’re right in some way or that they have a valid point, and you can accept it. It’s a good thing. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow the saposexual high horse is such a turn on too , you know.
Yes we have spell check today. It’s no good when your spelling is so bad the same thing can’t correct it. So you change your sentence an carry on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know this topic comes up weekly, and those who can't spell get all defensive, labelling good spellers as the "grammar police", but I'm with the OP. If someone messages me or posts here and continually uses "you're" or "their" incorrectly, I just can't take them seriously.
Yes I know, dyslexia is real and all that, but it's just me, sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it always a typo when the grammar police spell something wrong."
I love it when someone comments on anothers grammar, with bad grammar. Nothing like a smart arse falling off their high horse. |
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Can understand some aspects of grammar being a bit off for various reasons. My only bugbear when it comes to it though is the widespred rise in the use of "a women" 
Annoys the absolute fibre in me.  |
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By *arrasicMan
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss "
You wouldn't want to shag me then I'm terrible spelling |
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By *arrasicMan
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss
You wouldn't want to shag me then I'm terrible spelling"
O deffo no didn't look your a man |
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This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
"
Shouldn’t it have been a capital I after a full stop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
"
But a dating site is of no use to us as a couple. And it’s of no use to those, like ourselves, who enjoy swing parties. So I’m afraid we’re to have to continue to use Fab.
Mrs |
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"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
"
I don't think a basic grasp on grammar and sentence construction falls into the highly educated category. |
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"Is it just me that switches off to profiles with poor spelling and grammar?
I appreciate that it's not a prerequisite for great sex, but I just can't get past it!
Discuss "
I don't mind the odd mistake (no one is perfect), but too many and the message is deleted.
I also hate bad punctuation (is it really that hard to put a full stop in?) and textspeak. |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
I don't think a basic grasp on grammar and sentence construction falls into the highly educated category. "
|
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"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
Shouldn’t it have been a capital I after a full stop "
if you are indirectly referring to me.Fair game lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
Shouldn’t it have been a capital I after a full stop if you are indirectly referring to me.Fair game lol."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A fair portion of text speak comes from early internet chat rooms, doesn't it?.. atm, brb, imo, ofc, afaik, ffs, ymmv, fwiw etc etc. I have no problem using those because they're shorthand for commonly used expressions, but even then I'd tend to avoid them initially as I want to make a good first impression. In general I find poorly constructed sentences more egregious.
But! As others have said, live and let live, it's not a deciding factor but does contribute to the impression that is made.
imo, ymmv ofc |
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"A fair portion of text speak comes from early internet chat rooms, doesn't it?.. atm, brb, imo, ofc, afaik, ffs, ymmv, fwiw etc etc. I have no problem using those because they're shorthand for commonly used expressions, but even then I'd tend to avoid them initially as I want to make a good first impression. In general I find poorly constructed sentences more egregious.
But! As others have said, live and let live, it's not a deciding factor but does contribute to the impression that is made.
imo, ymmv ofc "
Common abbreviations like brb, btw etc are fine. Text speak is where you take all the vowels out of the word - from when texts were expensive and limited! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a swinger site not a dating site.anything goes.yes some people can't spell or punctuate properly.in bed they may be better than those classed as intellectual.
I am not saying you must shag everyone here on fab. If you are looking for highly educated people exlusive dating site is your best bet.just my suggestion no offence
"
I have met some very well educated people on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A fair portion of text speak comes from early internet chat rooms, doesn't it?.. atm, brb, imo, ofc, afaik, ffs, ymmv, fwiw etc etc. I have no problem using those because they're shorthand for commonly used expressions, but even then I'd tend to avoid them initially as I want to make a good first impression. In general I find poorly constructed sentences more egregious.
But! As others have said, live and let live, it's not a deciding factor but does contribute to the impression that is made.
imo, ymmv ofc
Common abbreviations like brb, btw etc are fine. Text speak is where you take all the vowels out of the word - from when texts were expensive and limited!"
Yep, that stuff can go right in the bin |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"A fair portion of text speak comes from early internet chat rooms, doesn't it?.. atm, brb, imo, ofc, afaik, ffs, ymmv, fwiw etc etc. I have no problem using those because they're shorthand for commonly used expressions, but even then I'd tend to avoid them initially as I want to make a good first impression. In general I find poorly constructed sentences more egregious.
But! As others have said, live and let live, it's not a deciding factor but does contribute to the impression that is made.
imo, ymmv ofc
Common abbreviations like brb, btw etc are fine. Text speak is where you take all the vowels out of the word - from when texts were expensive and limited!"
This is what I meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes me too !
It is not about any form of ‘ elitism’ as some have suggested before to me . Simply put as far as I am concerned it is just good manners to try your best . People seem to forget any form of social graces when on-line these days .
Of course no one wants perfect everytime but effort really helps . It is rude to write so badly that someone is incapable of understanding it . Also in this day and age it is a bit lazy !
I do not respond well to either sort of person and would not want to meet them . We just wouldnt get along unfortunately .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats a bit kind of negative ?
You don’t think it important to read and write properly ? Does it bother you then that people who dont make the effort are stereotyped as maybe a bit ‘ thick’ I guess ? When they probably aren’t ?
Or does it challenge you personally using IT etc ?
Sweeping statement like yours needs backing up I would say ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's less being bothered by it and more using it as just one of many factors that goes into deciding if a message gets a response. It's not the deciding factor. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it weird that people get all huffy when someone says they don't want to fuck them, no matter what the reason is. Whether it was my spelling, hair colour or the size of my arse, they don't want to fuck me and I respect that. Why so much butthurt? Everyone has preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of guys get rejected with the excuse of spelling and grammar as it is a painless way of rejecting someone without referring to their appearance.
A lot of hot guys get a bit of leeway because they are hot.
That's Fab for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well that turned out to be very enlightening!
I think, having read everyone's responses, that it's a problem for me because I need to make a connection with people before I play.
Relying on emails and texting before meeting means any initial chemistry is built through that medium. I guess it feels the same as meeting someone and not being able to make conversation.
Thanks to all who contributed. We've all got a view on it, none more valid than any other.
Happy swinging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m OK why some people don’t know the difference between there/their/they’re but I completely turn off when they can’t even spell the town where they live correctly or use txt speak. |
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