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Frustration with anal
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone else had difficulties with anal play?
I've seen pictures of people taking all kinds of things up their butt - huge cocks, soft drink cans, fists etc. so I know it is physically possible to get a decent sized cock up there. But even after months of practise, I can't manage anything thicker than a finger.
I know about lubrication, starting small and working up, relaxing the muscles... but no matter what I try, it just hurts so much. And it's just so frustrating because I want to be able to do it and enjoy it and right now I just don't seem to be able to figure out what I'm doing wrong. |
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"Have you tried poppers?
No, I haven't. Not for anal. That might be worth a try, thank you. "
Yes yes yes to poppers .... I (sub) take big big dildos and domme double fists ..... I’d struggle without poppers ! |
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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago
Maidstone |
Ya, you just need to be super relaxed. If you don't drink alcohol or take Poppers etc. then try a relaxing hot bath with some modestly sized sex toys.
Make sure you douche first - nothing more un-relaxing than not knowing how clean you actually are.
It takes years to develop a routine and some people even plan ahead - as in days (e.g. only eating stuff to ensure a clean colon). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried poppers?
No, I haven't. Not for anal. That might be worth a try, thank you.
Yes yes yes to poppers .... I (sub) take big big dildos and domme double fists ..... I’d struggle without poppers ! "
Double fists. Now that's impressive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have the same problem. I love the idea of it and fantasise about a DP. But A few strokes in and I need it out. I've tried a few things to help. But it doesn't really work. I've given up on my fantasy now haha. |
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"Have you tried poppers?
No, I haven't. Not for anal. That might be worth a try, thank you.
Yes yes yes to poppers .... I (sub) take big big dildos and domme double fists ..... I’d struggle without poppers !
Double fists. Now that's impressive "
It’s f&”@@#¥+ awesome is what it is .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried poppers?
No, I haven't. Not for anal. That might be worth a try, thank you.
Yes yes yes to poppers .... I (sub) take big big dildos and domme double fists ..... I’d struggle without poppers !
Double fists. Now that's impressive
It’s f&”@@#¥+ awesome is what it is ...."
Fair play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the same problem. I love the idea of it and fantasise about a DP. But A few strokes in and I need it out. I've tried a few things to help. But it doesn't really work. I've given up on my fantasy now haha. "
Shame to give up try and toy and cock build up to mmf dp? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I put a butt plug in ready for when I know I’m
having anal, can take your time getting it in, plenty of lube, then switching over to his cock when you’re ready is much easier, ready to go straight away x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For those finding it difficult, get yourself a starter butt plug kit. You'll get 3x plugs starting very small
Start with that, and wear it for an hour each day. Once you're comfortable move up to the next plug, and so on and so forth.
The bum can take large items, but you have to master relaxing first and foremost, and also learn to stretch.
You should not need poppers or desensitizing products for anal sex. Also not to state the obvious, but if your partner is on the large size it's going to be more difficult so smaller cocks will help to get started.
Don't give up on it  |
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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"your partner is on the large size it's going to be more difficult so smaller cocks will help to get started.
"
I'm you'll get plenty of offers from guys who would be more than happy to drill a pilot hole  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you tried a vibe/wand on your clit to begin with...when he's in that is? (presuming it's the female posting here) It is quite an intense feeling initially "
That's a good point. MrsPS got to loving anal that way, it's a great distraction. Lay on your front with it underneath on a lowish setting, while he enters behind. |
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All good advice...all I can say from personal experience is I can only enjoy it...rather than tolerate it..if I get a thorough ass eating first. It feels amazing number 1 and more importantly makes the muscles relax. Trusting your partner to go slow is key too x |
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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago
staffordshire |
I used to struggle alot with an partner as it was painful.
New partner and different positions were tried, and the first sucessful time i managed it i was very suprised, its a regular occurance now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the same problem. I love the idea of it and fantasise about a DP. But A few strokes in and I need it out. I've tried a few things to help. But it doesn't really work. I've given up on my fantasy now haha. "
I nearly gave up too. Firstly my arms couldn’t reach...... well ya gotta test these things!! Also found It took a while to understand and appreciate it and think that helped giving. Surprised how many women love playing with a mans bum. Indulged in some toy action but still preferring hands at the mo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Definitely fingers in pussy at the same time! helps most of the time. and a good warming up before you try to get anything in there  "
Wuss, go raw or go home  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plugs! They are fun to play with, and when you can relax enough to do daily activities with one in, you'll be ready to move on.
There is a difference in how we are all built though, so massive insertions as cool as they are to watch aren't for everyone. One of us can handle far more in the ass than the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think porn gives us an unreal expectation of anal. Unless the female in question has a burning desire and wants it at all costs it can get frustrating.
Two former gf's of mine would get quite d*unk before anal! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Starting with a butt plug training kit is a good way to begin. Use poppers to help you relax and lube yourself up first, not too much on the plug or it might slip out!
I always douche and put a butt plug in several hours before I play and use a dildo on myself (or have it used on me) before I get penetrated. By then I'd have been sucking it for a bit too so I'll be very turned on and begging for it, so after a little poppers, pop, in it goes. then try lots of different positions - doggy, sitting on him, missionary etc.
fantastic being fucked like this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" some people even plan ahead - as in days (e.g. only eating stuff to ensure a clean colon)."
Any diet suggestions to prepare? I usually play during the day so don't have a breakfast and just drink fluids during my playtime.
Any thoughts on what to eat to mean you can be nice and clean or easy to douche, before playing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ann Summers Do a lube specially for anal called booty lube, it's got mint and stuff in to help the area relax. I struggle with anal sometimes as well but that helps massively x |
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Maybe you just don’t really enjoy it.....but you think you should....and that is what subconsciously is making you tense.....don’t force it...and then one day just let it happen ....also I use lube with a muscle relaxant if I am in dire need and need it straight away (usually we build up to it) ..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You guys who have had the dreaded DRE should have been told by the doc to "bear down" on me... makes it much easier to do. Ladies, that is what you need to do. |
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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago
North Cambs |
"Ann Summers Do a lube specially for anal called booty lube, it's got mint and stuff in to help the area relax. I struggle with anal sometimes as well but that helps massively x"
Hehe...after the preference that you alluded to in another thread, I am not surprised that you 'struggle with anal sometimes'... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ann Summers Do a lube specially for anal called booty lube, it's got mint and stuff in to help the area relax. I struggle with anal sometimes as well but that helps massively x
Hehe...after the preference that you alluded to in another thread, I am not surprised that you 'struggle with anal sometimes'... "
Sorry? |
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"Has anyone else had difficulties with anal play?
I've seen pictures of people taking all kinds of things up their butt - huge cocks, soft drink cans, fists etc. so I know it is physically possible to get a decent sized cock up there. But even after months of practise, I can't manage anything thicker than a finger.
I know about lubrication, starting small and working up, relaxing the muscles... but no matter what I try, it just hurts so much. And it's just so frustrating because I want to be able to do it and enjoy it and right now I just don't seem to be able to figure out what I'm doing wrong. "
Let somebody to double fist your ass, after couple of times trial your hole will large enough to take anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try a little finger after you have orgasmed much more relaxed down there x"
Yes definitely. I found taking time playing with my ring then just putting pressure on my p spot really stimulated all the different places making it easier to find out what all the hype is about. I’ve had several partners (all female) where anal sex has been a big part of our sex lives. In the past Anal never happened as me and the old partner didn’t understand and were put off. I have since taken various toys operated by a girl and still prefer a lubed finger or thumb..... although a previous comment said about warming up the toy the idea of a nice warm natural dick is something I really want to try. My profile says curious and seeking ts/cd/mmf & maybe even a man in the right situation all because of l loving anal...... really nice to switch between each other’s dicks pussies and arses during a night together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I started out with anal beads. Just popping a couple in and out very very slowly whilst playing with my clit. Then BAM! Most intense orgasm I've ever had! Never looked back.
So, yeah. I recommend anal beads x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tried anal twice before 2016 and hated it for the pain. Met my superman and with gentle persuasion over (not so) many weeks took a hard dildo for an amazing orgasm.. now it's central to our play.. Please persevere it's so worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ann Summers Do a lube specially for anal called booty lube, it's got mint and stuff in to help the area relax. I struggle with anal sometimes as well but that helps massively x"
I second the Ann summers booty lube, anal for me is still really painful but this helps massively, also try straddling the guy and doing it that way first so you have more control |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tried anal twice before 2016 and hated it for the pain. Met my superman and with gentle persuasion over (not so) many weeks took a hard dildo for an amazing orgasm.. now it's central to our play.. Please persevere it's so worth it."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I started out with anal beads. Just popping a couple in and out very very slowly whilst playing with my clit. Then BAM! Most intense orgasm I've ever had! Never looked back.
So, yeah. I recommend anal beads x"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was the same when I first started I just worked my way up wth different size dildo,s leaving them in overnight
Now I can take most cocks. I don't need poppers they won't help |
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"Has anyone else had difficulties with anal play?
I've seen pictures of people taking all kinds of things up their butt - huge cocks, soft drink cans, fists etc. so I know it is physically possible to get a decent sized cock up there. But even after months of practise, I can't manage anything thicker than a finger.
I know about lubrication, starting small and working up, relaxing the muscles... but no matter what I try, it just hurts so much. And it's just so frustrating because I want to be able to do it and enjoy it and right now I just don't seem to be able to figure out what I'm doing wrong.
Let somebody to double fist your ass, after couple of times trial your hole will large enough to take anything"
Mine isn’t..... can still only manage two fists! |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
Do be careful using desensitising lube so because you could hurt yourself without realising if you are taking away some of the sensation.
Obviously I know you're trying to numb the pain but you don't want to numb your bodies messages telling you when enough is enough or something is too much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest it's something that takes time and a lot of effort. Just be patient and try to relax as much as one can. It's took me a couple of weeks of training my ass to get there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could try wearing a small butt plug to help, then gradually wearing one a little bigger.
I used to be petrified of anal, anything going near my arse.
Try perhaps just using a finger in a warm bath, and try to relax.
I find there's nothing worse than if you tense up.
Lube , plenty of lube.
As others have said poppers but personally they're not for me.
But take your time, go with what works for you.
And above all , enjoy it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ann Summers Do a lube specially for anal called booty lube, it's got mint and stuff in to help the area relax. I struggle with anal sometimes as well but that helps massively x I second the Ann summers booty lube, anal for me is still really painful but this helps massively, also try straddling the guy and doing it that way first so you have more control "
Sensible advice, I always start this way by straddling a man to control the penetration and this way I can take some vwe men |
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