FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Single men...would you share?
Single men...would you share?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share  |
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share "
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers."
I don't mean people we have played with... we know a lot of ppl on the club scene and many of them think that way... not all but some |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate the term...neither of us shares the other. We are active and willing participants. The term sharing implies a level of ownership that makes me uncomfortable... |
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
I don't mean people we have played with... we know a lot of ppl on the club scene and many of them think that way... not all but some "
Sorry if it sounded like I was implying anything. I was speaking in a general sense. |
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers."
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share "
I understand how the couple dynamic works and respect it. I wouldn't want to 'share' a future partner or be part of a swinging couple though. They might be the same.
As long as they keep any negative thoughts to themselves it wouldn't bother me what they thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share "
We have put an end to many a meet for that very same reason |
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ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again "
 |
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"ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again "
How else can people do their virtue signalling? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again "
Why wouldn't you meet a man that wouldn't offer his partner for strangers to fuck? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again
Why wouldn't you meet a man that wouldn't offer his partner for strangers to fuck?"
I think it goes "If you fuck my woman, I have to fuck yours". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind meeting single people (men or women) who wouldn't swing if they had a partner. That's fine to me. I mean, I think swinging is very relationship dependant. It's also really dependant on what turns someone on. It's more than just "would you do it, too?"
I've met people who completely get why it's a kink to us. They respect our opinion and our choice to swing. By it isn't something that turns them on, so they wouldn't do it. That's cool.
I won't meet people, though, who insinuate or even expressly state that they think there is something wrong with the very act of swinging. They can have that opinion, of course. And I respect that. But I also wouldn't be with someone sexually who is negatively judging me for that very sex act that I'm participating in with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind meeting single people (men or women) who wouldn't swing if they had a partner. That's fine to me. I mean, I think swinging is very relationship dependant. It's also really dependant on what turns someone on. It's more than just "would you do it, too?"
I've met people who completely get why it's a kink to us. They respect our opinion and our choice to swing. By it isn't something that turns them on, so they wouldn't do it. That's cool.
I won't meet people, though, who insinuate or even expressly state that they think there is something wrong with the very act of swinging. They can have that opinion, of course. And I respect that. But I also wouldn't be with someone sexually who is negatively judging me for that very sex act that I'm participating in with them. "
but what if they told you that in the midst of sexual passion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind meeting single people (men or women) who wouldn't swing if they had a partner. That's fine to me. I mean, I think swinging is very relationship dependant. It's also really dependant on what turns someone on. It's more than just "would you do it, too?"
I've met people who completely get why it's a kink to us. They respect our opinion and our choice to swing. By it isn't something that turns them on, so they wouldn't do it. That's cool.
I won't meet people, though, who insinuate or even expressly state that they think there is something wrong with the very act of swinging. They can have that opinion, of course. And I respect that. But I also wouldn't be with someone sexually who is negatively judging me for that very sex act that I'm participating in with them. but what if they told you that in the midst of sexual passion "
What an odd conversation to have in the middle of sex. 
I wouldn't meet them again, I suppose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again
Why wouldn't you meet a man that wouldn't offer his partner for strangers to fuck?"
For us personally we would just feel uncomfortable playing with anybody who believes in monogamy. It would feel that we’re not all on the same page. The strangers bit is not particularly important though - we don’t play with strangers either.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us."
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior? |
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior?"
I (mr) tend to agree with this also, but it can be avoided by pairing up with other couples. I get that its not everybodies thing, but if its an issue to you, there doesn't seem any alternative, short of telling to keep their opinions to themselves and failure to do so, will be death  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in a loving relationship and we swung. Our bedroom was where we made Love and it was our connection and that was amazing.
Our swinging was play and sex still sensual but we could differentiate sex from the relationship. And our relationship playfulness was swinging. Neither her or I were owned by one another so never shared... unless of course we were literally being shared  |
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I’d be expecting to meet her as part of this scene so couldn’t really tell her no given how we’d met!
Saying that if after meeting she decided she wanted to stop doing this I’d respect that and not push her - as above it’s a decision a couple take together as equals |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior?"
Don't you respect other people's choices? |
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs"
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them. |
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs"
Agreed, however we define the experience is shared, (in that we are both there and consent to whatever is happening) rather than one giving permission, if that makes sense... Neither it would seem goes somewhere knowing that would upset the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us."
Agree, it’s part of the egotistical single Male attitude of same, that if they play with a couple the man from the couple is somehow less of a man than them as they’d never let there women play with another guy, pathetic and not swinging, it also applies to many couples who only seek FFM meets.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior?
Don't you respect other people's choices? "
Do you feel they are not respecting other people choices? All they are doing to choosing not to play with people they feel they are not on the same wavelength as. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them. "
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Agree, it’s part of the egotistical single Male attitude of same, that if they play with a couple the man from the couple is somehow less of a man than them as they’d never let there women play with another guy, pathetic and not swinging, it also applies to many couples who only seek FFM meets...."
What about the couples that only do MMF meets? Is that because the husband is so shit in bed, the wife needs another man? |
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs"
The teacher has control over the books in her position as an employee of the school who do own the books. She has the authority to order the sharing.
For there to be sharing, a person or a group of people has to have authority over the things to be shared. In the context of this thread, talking about "sharing your wife" is grammatically the same as talking about. "sharing your lawnmower". Your can't share the thing to be shared unless you have some ownership rights over it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs
The teacher has control over the books in her position as an employee of the school who do own the books. She has the authority to order the sharing.
For there to be sharing, a person or a group of people has to have authority over the things to be shared. In the context of this thread, talking about "sharing your wife" is grammatically the same as talking about. "sharing your lawnmower". Your can't share the thing to be shared unless you have some ownership rights over it. "
How about 2 people finding something that nobody has any authority or ownership over and deciding to share it for a short period of time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Agree, it’s part of the egotistical single Male attitude of same, that if they play with a couple the man from the couple is somehow less of a man than them as they’d never let there women play with another guy, pathetic and not swinging, it also applies to many couples who only seek FFM meets....
What about the couples that only do MMF meets? Is that because the husband is so shit in bed, the wife needs another man?"
Don’t know as we don’t do MMF meets, m sure there are lots of reasons, maybe ask some of them, not sure where that fits into this thread, maybe start another thread on the subject |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"if a future girl friend wanted to try I would say yes if she didn't that ok would respect her wishes
Fuck that, i didn't pay 50 goats and 10 camels for my wifes opinion "
10 camels.... i would have paid 20 B&H at most......
back to the question.... that would be her decision.... if she wanted to.. cool! if not, It wouldn't ruin my world...., |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior?
Don't you respect other people's choices?
Do you feel they are not respecting other people choices? All they are doing to choosing not to play with people they feel they are not on the same wavelength as. "
They didn't say they wouldn't play with him. They said it's a touch off. So, should he have to share his gf just because they share their woman? |
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs
The teacher has control over the books in her position as an employee of the school who do own the books. She has the authority to order the sharing.
For there to be sharing, a person or a group of people has to have authority over the things to be shared. In the context of this thread, talking about "sharing your wife" is grammatically the same as talking about. "sharing your lawnmower". Your can't share the thing to be shared unless you have some ownership rights over it.
How about 2 people finding something that nobody has any authority or ownership over and deciding to share it for a short period of time?"
If they find something and agree to share it they have jointly assumed rights of ownership over it. You literally cannot share something that you don't own in some way. By deciding to share an object you must have some authority over that object in order to have the power to also allow someone else to have access to it.
I can decide to share my lawnmower with my neighbour. I can't decide to share his lawnmower with someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior?
Don't you respect other people's choices?
Do you feel they are not respecting other people choices? All they are doing to choosing not to play with people they feel they are not on the same wavelength as.
They didn't say they wouldn't play with him. They said it's a touch off. So, should he have to share his gf just because they share their woman? "
I would interpret what they said as to mean that if their playmate later had a girlfriend who was up for swinging, then he would be up for that too. If she then decides that she doesn’t want to play with those particular people then that’s a matter of personal preference. I don’t think anybody is saying it has to be a fair swap. For example we see a guy who has a FWB on the swing scene. We do not expect to play with her. But what would be a deal breaker would be if our playmates would not allow their FWB, girlfriend or wife to swing too. If that were the case, much as we would respect their monagamous choice, we would feel we weren’t sufficiently on the same wavelength to have a sexual relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner. "
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Agree, it’s part of the egotistical single Male attitude of same, that if they play with a couple the man from the couple is somehow less of a man than them as they’d never let there women play with another guy, pathetic and not swinging, it also applies to many couples who only seek FFM meets....
What about the couples that only do MMF meets? Is that because the husband is so shit in bed, the wife needs another man?
Don’t know as we don’t do MMF meets, m sure there are lots of reasons, maybe ask some of them, not sure where that fits into this thread, maybe start another thread on the subject "
The OP was a couple asking if single men would share his girlfriend- that's related to a couple having an MMF meet so directly related to the thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality. "
Do you ask everyone you meet? How will they know they would want to swing, in a relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Women would never get asked. "
No couple has ever asked me.
I think, if they want me, they have to give their woman to me and my partner. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality.
Do you ask everyone you meet? How will they know they would want to swing, in a relationship? "
Yes I usually do, if it’s not obvious. It tends to come up in conversation though. With the exception of those in clubs. But with our private meets, most of them know they would want to swing in a relationship because they have already been in that situation or tried to being in that situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs
The teacher has control over the books in her position as an employee of the school who do own the books. She has the authority to order the sharing.
For there to be sharing, a person or a group of people has to have authority over the things to be shared. In the context of this thread, talking about "sharing your wife" is grammatically the same as talking about. "sharing your lawnmower". Your can't share the thing to be shared unless you have some ownership rights over it.
How about 2 people finding something that nobody has any authority or ownership over and deciding to share it for a short period of time?
If they find something and agree to share it they have jointly assumed rights of ownership over it. You literally cannot share something that you don't own in some way. By deciding to share an object you must have some authority over that object in order to have the power to also allow someone else to have access to it.
I can decide to share my lawnmower with my neighbour. I can't decide to share his lawnmower with someone else. "
Well I have authority to decide if it’s ok for my husband to play with other people, and vice versa. We don’t own each other, but we choose to share each other, which we both have the authority to withdraw at any time. In the same way the teacher doesn’t own the books, but she has authority over what happens to the books. I accept sharing requires authority or permission, but not necessarily ownship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality.
Do you ask everyone you meet? How will they know they would want to swing, in a relationship?
Yes I usually do, if it’s not obvious. It tends to come up in conversation though. With the exception of those in clubs. But with our private meets, most of them know they would want to swing in a relationship because they have already been in that situation or tried to being in that situation. "
I wouldn't know the answer, if someone asked me. Would all couples who now swing have known they would, when they first met? I doubt it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality.
Do you ask everyone you meet? How will they know they would want to swing, in a relationship?
Yes I usually do, if it’s not obvious. It tends to come up in conversation though. With the exception of those in clubs. But with our private meets, most of them know they would want to swing in a relationship because they have already been in that situation or tried to being in that situation.
I wouldn't know the answer, if someone asked me. Would all couples who now swing have known they would, when they first met? I doubt it. "
That’s true, when I was single I expected monogamy were I to get into a relationship. I don’t think I would have been a good candidate to join a swinging couple, in the capacity that we look for, because there would not have been a shared mindset. It would not necessarily be a deal breaker if a guy said he didn’t know, but I wonder if we would really relate to him. Most of the singles we have played with regularly, like us, have chosen swinging as a lifestyle choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality.
Do you ask everyone you meet? How will they know they would want to swing, in a relationship?
Yes I usually do, if it’s not obvious. It tends to come up in conversation though. With the exception of those in clubs. But with our private meets, most of them know they would want to swing in a relationship because they have already been in that situation or tried to being in that situation.
I wouldn't know the answer, if someone asked me. Would all couples who now swing have known they would, when they first met? I doubt it.
That’s true, when I was single I expected monogamy were I to get into a relationship. I don’t think I would have been a good candidate to join a swinging couple, in the capacity that we look for, because there would not have been a shared mindset. It would not necessarily be a deal breaker if a guy said he didn’t know, but I wonder if we would really relate to him. Most of the singles we have played with regularly, like us, have chosen swinging as a lifestyle choice. "
What does a swinging lifestyle entail?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wondering if couples would feel the same about single women who wouldn't want to swing with a new partner.
Definately. Can’t speak for other couples, but we only feel comfortable playing with the non-monogamous swinging mentality.
Do you ask everyone you meet? How will they know they would want to swing, in a relationship?
Yes I usually do, if it’s not obvious. It tends to come up in conversation though. With the exception of those in clubs. But with our private meets, most of them know they would want to swing in a relationship because they have already been in that situation or tried to being in that situation.
I wouldn't know the answer, if someone asked me. Would all couples who now swing have known they would, when they first met? I doubt it.
That’s true, when I was single I expected monogamy were I to get into a relationship. I don’t think I would have been a good candidate to join a swinging couple, in the capacity that we look for, because there would not have been a shared mindset. It would not necessarily be a deal breaker if a guy said he didn’t know, but I wonder if we would really relate to him. Most of the singles we have played with regularly, like us, have chosen swinging as a lifestyle choice.
What does a swinging lifestyle entail?
"
That needs to be a different thread. But if it a lifestyle choice or a way of life, it would not automatically stop permanently just because someone is now in a serious permanent relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men
Would you share your next gf? "
Depends.
Girlfriend I have real feelings for and what to make something exclusive with?
Probably not, but never say never.
GF like just someone who I hook up with regularly?
If she wanted it then absolutely. I do enjoy seeing a lady enjoying herself! |
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs"
The school...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sharing is entirely the right word unless you happen to be in either:
A: An abusive relationship or
B: A fully open relationship (defined distinctly seperate from swinging per se)
Sharing is the voluntary granting of a right to something in which you already possess a right.
In the context of swinging what you are sharing is not your partner but the implicit social contract that a relationship represents.
It's not particularly distinct from any other contractual agreement.
A agrees to enter into rescindable agreement with B to mutually perform X actions for the benefit of both within a schedule of mutually understood rules (Y).
Sexual exclusivity is a standard (but not necessarily mandatory) clause of that schedule.
If A or B wishes to act other than in accordance with that schedule, ie to sleep with another then either they may rescind the social contract (break up), breach it entirely (cheat), or seek an exception to grant the benefit of that contract to another while the contract remains in effect (the sharing of a contractual right). That is what is being shared. It is not ownership of the individual, it is the granting of a right WITHIN an agreement that would otherwise breach that agreement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it's bit of a fantasy of mine to meet a nice girl then eventually introduce her to an MMF, watching her enjoy two big cocks would be a massive turn on
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"Ive known women to agree to this just to please their partner...
Im sure if most women were honest.....they would say they really didnt want to , but just went along with it."
Certainly not the case from our experience and from those in the lifestyle that we know .
To suggest that most women didn’t want to do it , but just went along with it to please their partner is nonsense . |
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"Ive known women to agree to this just to please their partner...
Im sure if most women were honest.....they would say they really didnt want to , but just went along with it."
So have we. To suggest that most women who swing with their partners aren't honest either with themselves or their partner is a huge assumption though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive known women to agree to this just to please their partner...
Im sure if most women were honest.....they would say they really didnt want to , but just went along with it."
Some yes. Not most. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If consent and boundaries had been discussed and agreed to then yes. I have explored poly, open and multi-play with women who have agency over their body and me over mine. The only sharing were the experiences. It's really hot to watch and be part of...if that's what's been agreed. |
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs
The teacher has control over the books in her position as an employee of the school who do own the books. She has the authority to order the sharing.
For there to be sharing, a person or a group of people has to have authority over the things to be shared. In the context of this thread, talking about "sharing your wife" is grammatically the same as talking about. "sharing your lawnmower". Your can't share the thing to be shared unless you have some ownership rights over it.
How about 2 people finding something that nobody has any authority or ownership over and deciding to share it for a short period of time?
If they find something and agree to share it they have jointly assumed rights of ownership over it. You literally cannot share something that you don't own in some way. By deciding to share an object you must have some authority over that object in order to have the power to also allow someone else to have access to it.
I can decide to share my lawnmower with my neighbour. I can't decide to share his lawnmower with someone else.
Well I have authority to decide if it’s ok for my husband to play with other people, and vice versa. We don’t own each other, but we choose to share each other, which we both have the authority to withdraw at any time. In the same way the teacher doesn’t own the books, but she has authority over what happens to the books. I accept sharing requires authority or permission, but not necessarily ownship. "
I think the difficulty people have with the word. "share" in this context is that we generally only apply the word to objects not people. If I say my child can play with another parents child I don't say I am sharing the child, even though it is my authority that means the play happens.
So, I think that ultimately the objection is that the word "share" is generally only ever used in relation to objects and to talk of sharing one's partner has the implication that one has the same control and authority over ones partner as one would over a lawnmower or a book. |
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"Ive known women to agree to this just to please their partner...
Im sure if most women were honest.....they would say they really didnt want to , but just went along with it."
Typical anti-swinger nonsense that is so common on the fabswingers forum |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first joined Fab I was stunned by the amount of couples that liked sharing each other with singles. Now I’ve been part of this scene for a while I TOTALLY get why this is so much fun for them and I would love my next partner in life to be also into this lifestyle and would happily like to see her swing away! |
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
I don't mean people we have played with... we know a lot of ppl on the club scene and many of them think that way... not all but some "
I think people evolve on here though!
When I first joined fab, the idea of someone I care about shagging someone else was horrific!
Four years on and the idea of having a monogamous relationship is horrific! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men
Would you share your next gf? "
Absolutely no fucking way. Im too over protected.
Im only playing on this site because im single. Enjoying it whilst i can but theres no way il ever share my gf with anyone. Well tell a lie, i would if she had a fit lady friend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do so many people think that to share means to own? It’s perfectly possible to share without ownership. To own and to share are 2 different verbs with totally different meanings.
Mrs
I don't think that's right. I can't share something unless I have some ownership rights over it. I can share my dinner with someone. I can't share Buckingham Palace with them.
‘The teacher gave out the books to the class, but their weren’t enough books to go round, so the children had to share’. Who owns the books? In this case nobody who is doing the sharing actually owns the objects that are being shared.
Mrs
The teacher has control over the books in her position as an employee of the school who do own the books. She has the authority to order the sharing.
For there to be sharing, a person or a group of people has to have authority over the things to be shared. In the context of this thread, talking about "sharing your wife" is grammatically the same as talking about. "sharing your lawnmower". Your can't share the thing to be shared unless you have some ownership rights over it.
How about 2 people finding something that nobody has any authority or ownership over and deciding to share it for a short period of time?
If they find something and agree to share it they have jointly assumed rights of ownership over it. You literally cannot share something that you don't own in some way. By deciding to share an object you must have some authority over that object in order to have the power to also allow someone else to have access to it.
I can decide to share my lawnmower with my neighbour. I can't decide to share his lawnmower with someone else.
Well I have authority to decide if it’s ok for my husband to play with other people, and vice versa. We don’t own each other, but we choose to share each other, which we both have the authority to withdraw at any time. In the same way the teacher doesn’t own the books, but she has authority over what happens to the books. I accept sharing requires authority or permission, but not necessarily ownship.
I think the difficulty people have with the word. "share" in this context is that we generally only apply the word to objects not people. If I say my child can play with another parents child I don't say I am sharing the child, even though it is my authority that means the play happens.
So, I think that ultimately the objection is that the word "share" is generally only ever used in relation to objects and to talk of sharing one's partner has the implication that one has the same control and authority over ones partner as one would over a lawnmower or a book. "
"Would you be in a swinging relationship" has different inference.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men
Would you share your next gf?
Absolutely no fucking way. Im too over protected.
Im only playing on this site because im single. Enjoying it whilst i can but theres no way il ever share my gf with anyone. Well tell a lie, i would if she had a fit lady friend "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Currently facing this dilemma. I have a seriously beautiful girlfriend who is hinting all the time....
Even going as far as telling me she has been playing with herself watching DP for the past two years.
Unsure. Advice appreciated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently facing this dilemma. I have a seriously beautiful girlfriend who is hinting all the time....
Even going as far as telling me she has been playing with herself watching DP for the past two years.
Unsure. Advice appreciated "
Ask her if she would like to try it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men
Would you share your next gf?
Absolutely no fucking way. Im too over protected.
Im only playing on this site because im single. Enjoying it whilst i can but theres no way il ever share my gf with anyone. Well tell a lie, i would if she had a fit lady friend "
What would you be protecting her from? |
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"Men
Would you share your next gf?
Absolutely no fucking way. Im too over protected.
Im only playing on this site because im single. Enjoying it whilst i can but theres no way il ever share my gf with anyone. Well tell a lie, i would if she had a fit lady friend
What would you be protecting her from? "
Protecting her from finding out someone might satisfy her better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men
Would you share your next gf?
Absolutely no fucking way. Im too over protected.
Im only playing on this site because im single. Enjoying it whilst i can but theres no way il ever share my gf with anyone. Well tell a lie, i would if she had a fit lady friend
"
Double standards are rife on Fab
Still, its strangely comforting to know the status quo remains |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently facing this dilemma. I have a seriously beautiful girlfriend who is hinting all the time....
Even going as far as telling me she has been playing with herself watching DP for the past two years.
Unsure. Advice appreciated
Ask her if she would like to try it. "
Well the issue is that she is greedy with me... won’t share me.
However she is very sexual and wants another guy just simply to be a second cock x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently facing this dilemma. I have a seriously beautiful girlfriend who is hinting all the time....
Even going as far as telling me she has been playing with herself watching DP for the past two years.
Unsure. Advice appreciated "
Does your 'seriously beautiful girlfriend' know you're on here? If not, maybe you should tell her and she might be moved to try out DP for real - without you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Currently facing this dilemma. I have a seriously beautiful girlfriend who is hinting all the time....
Even going as far as telling me she has been playing with herself watching DP for the past two years.
Unsure. Advice appreciated
Does your 'seriously beautiful girlfriend' know you're on here? If not, maybe you should tell her and she might be moved to try out DP for real - without you."
You may be right. However long term I am out to enjoy myself and not quiet ready to settle down so may not be the worst thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get why they have asked... we have met alot of single man and women that have said... they could never share if they did have an OH ...and find it hard to understand how we are willing to share
We never knowingly play with single who have that mindset. I don't class them as swingers.
Agreed. To us this lifestyle is about not having jealousy involved. To be able to jump into a couples bed and in the next breath say you wouldn't be willing to see your next girlfriend with another man is a touch off to us.
Completely agree with this. It’s like they’re saying they’ll use us to do the filthy things they want but wouldn’t dream of doing if they were in a committed relationship. Like, we are some how inferior?
Don't you respect other people's choices? "
Not sure who this was addressed to?
Of course we respect other people’s choices. Just as it ours to Have the opinions we do.
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"ffs some people on here scrutinise ever word
I'm sure by my post you understood what I meant
I am not going into owning this that or the other.
I'm sure you understood the general question
as a couple of others have said
we would not meet a man who would not do the same as we are. fuck me I dare not say share incase the forum righteous jump down my throat again
Why wouldn't you meet a man that wouldn't offer his partner for strangers to fuck?
I think it goes "If you fuck my woman, I have to fuck yours"."
lol some might think along those line but that’s not the vibe I’m getting from the OP. For me mutual enthusiasm and consent by both partners is implied.
Anyway, to our mind if a single person tells us that they’d NEVER let their lady fuck other guys if the roles were reversed. I consider it disrespectful of my lady and disrespectful of me. To us that person is looking at my woman as a cheap sl*t as opposed to respecting her right to express her sexuality as much as a man does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It isn't really our business what people may or may not do in the future. For us it's all about how we feel in the moment and that there is mutual respect.
What someone thinks they would or wouldn't do in some hypothetical future is irrelevant to us. We know from experience that people evolve in their sexuality. |
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"It isn't really our business what people may or may not do in the future. For us it's all about how we feel in the moment and that there is mutual respect.
What someone thinks they would or wouldn't do in some hypothetical future is irrelevant to us. We know from experience that people evolve in their sexuality. "
In the past it hasn't been about grilling people. However when that mindset has been volunteered through comments it puts us off that person. Naturally we'd still engage in polite conversation but sex? Hell no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It isn't really our business what people may or may not do in the future. For us it's all about how we feel in the moment and that there is mutual respect.
What someone thinks they would or wouldn't do in some hypothetical future is irrelevant to us. We know from experience that people evolve in their sexuality.
In the past it hasn't been about grilling people. However when that mindset has been volunteered through comments it puts us off that person. Naturally we'd still engage in polite conversation but sex? Hell no"
It’s the mindset at that moment in time. People can change their mindset in the future and that indeed is irrelevant. But if they have a similar mindset to us at that moment then we are comfortable.
Mrs |
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