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Overly complicated profiles
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've got quite a long and detailed profile, it serves its purpose in a number of ways:
~ it's designed to give people a good impression of who we are and the kind of fun we're looking for.
~ if people are too lazy to spend 30 seconds reading it to find out more about us, then they're probably not interested in us as people, but just after a quick fuck and that's definitely not for us, so it works as a good filter in that way.
~ giving lots of information about us, gives people a starting point when they message, something to talk about.
I notice you've not been on the site long OP, you don't have any verifications (although by your own admission you don't leave them for others, so I doubt they'd go to the trouble of leaving them for you) and your profile says little about you. There are literally thousands of single guys on Fab, even with a well presented profile they often have trouble getting meets with people. Given your profile and the fact you post negative, complaining posts on the forums, I don't rate your chances very highly.
Good luck!
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You clearly don't get a hundred messages a day from virtually blank profiles that say 'Hi. Wot u lookin 4 ?'
Which is what the profile aims to avoid happening. |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
My profile is quite long, it tells people what I want them to know and it's a good filter to find out how much effort a person is willing to make. If they can't be arsed to find out just a tiny bit about the person in photos they have just got hard over then how much effort are they going to make to meet me and have at least reasonably decent sex? |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
I guessing if taking all of 2 minutes to read a profile is too much of a chore for you... you are not for them and they are not for you
You could call it an “attention filter” if you want  |
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Id rather have a decent profile that tells me something about the person than one that tells me nothing. Even reading slowly it would only take a few minutes. At least it s out the instashag mentality. Same with messages - 'meet now?' Errr no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You clearly don't get a hundred messages a day from virtually blank profiles that say 'Hi. Wot u lookin 4 ?'
Which is what the profile aims to avoid happening. "
Ours is pretty long but it doesn't stop the idiots from messaging. Longer ones are generally better to read as you get an idea of the person / people behind them and should at least be able to establish if you have some common ground. |
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By *inkycouplespainCouple
over a year ago
Malaga Spain but sometimes Manchester and |
Ours is long enough to tell people what we want from a meet. Hopefully put the wrong people off us who wont fit. Couple of paragraphs is all that is needed. Plus a few pics.
Too many profiles on here with silhouettes and one line profiles. Good luck with them.
D&K
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
Hey OP I thought it was funny...
Fallen Sparrow and 16th century Russian dialect tickled me
We have a fairly long profile to be fair I don’t think it’s a boring read....plus you know, because I’m like L’Oréal 
MrsK |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"You clearly don't get a hundred messages a day from virtually blank profiles that say 'Hi. Wot u lookin 4 ?'
Which is what the profile aims to avoid happening.
Ours is pretty long but it doesn't stop the idiots from messaging. Longer ones are generally better to read as you get an idea of the person / people behind them and should at least be able to establish if you have some common ground."
Very true. I've just had a friend request from a straight guy 130+ miles away, obviously my profile was just too long and hard for him to read  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I mean you're on a site that is about meeting others and sharing something very personal.
Some people have their reasons for long and complex profiles, so if you cannot even be bothered to take the time to read about someone I'm not sure why you'd expect them to meet you?
Personally I'm looking for something particular so have a longish profile to set the scene, and a much larger doc I can send to people interested with everything about me, toys, interests etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
bottom line it was funny ,I know where you're coming from but posting this is like burning bridges ,profile info basically is about avoiding unwanted questions which are repeatedly asked over and over ,its not your fault you ask them because you don't know what's gone before but you will be blamed for asking them even so especially if answered in profile write up |
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By *olarfoxMan
over a year ago
North Cambs |
I guess it all depends on what you call consider to be 'overly long'
I like to think that I say enough to let people know a bit more about myself and what I am looking for so that this information can supplement any first introductory message I might send.
Do people consider my profile to long/complicate?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Our profile got longer as we found we didn’t really want to be wasting our time replying to unsuitable messages. A lot of guys have a bee in their bonnets about how rude ladies and couples are for not replying to messages. We pride ourselves in being polite people and don’t like being accused of being rude. So part of the solution was to write a very detailed description of what we’re about, so that people know whether it’s worthwhile messaging us. Then there if we ignore a message because they have ignored our profile, I think it’s reasobable to say we can’t be acused of being rude. This way we are giving people the chance of not wasting their time messaging us, and we’re not wasting our time replying to messages we never wanted. Everybody happy 
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A long profile and particularly an off putting first paragraph have served us very well, we don’t tend to get illiterate or poorly thought out messages and lazy people read the first paragraph and bolt or block
Win win  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are also looking for something quite specific, so really that’s to be reflected in a man’s profile. We don’t like chatting on Fab and we have very little time for meets, therefore for a meet to be successful we are very reliant on an informative profile and informative verifications. It saves so much time in the long run.
Mrs
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A long profile and particularly an off putting first paragraph have served us very well, we don’t tend to get illiterate or poorly thought out messages and lazy people read the first paragraph and bolt or block
Win win "
That’s the same with us, I think we’ve done a good job with putting off the people we don’t want to meet, but those we do want to meet seem to quite like our profile. Definately win win and less time wasting for everybody!
Mrs |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
Come on guys. You know what the op was getting at. Bloody funny post and hes having a teasing dig at the brigade who demand practically the master race and get you to go through a lord of the rings type adventure just to then get ignored anyway. It put a smile on my face anyways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh
I guessing if taking all of 2 minutes to read a profile is too much of a chore for you... you are not for them and they are not for you
You could call it an “attention filter” if you want "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
Balls like the Thames Barrier |
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I suppose ours is getting a bit long now, but it didn't start out like that.
It was quite short at the beginning but we just kept adding to it based on our experiences on here, mostly reading and deleting messages from people we had no interest in whatsoever.
One day we will re-write it.
|
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"A long profile and particularly an off putting first paragraph have served us very well, we don’t tend to get illiterate or poorly thought out messages and lazy people read the first paragraph and bolt or block
Win win "
I don't get it. I read the whole thing. It's actually a great bit of text. But I don't see how you can consider people stopping reading before the end of the first paragraph lazy. It's not immediately obvious it's a piss take. There are enough alarm bells to scare anyone off! A single lady with her thousands of mails to check would probably stop reading after a couple of lines.
Still you say it works so what do I know. As i said fantastic profile once you get past that paragraph. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
There are two types of profile text that make me click away. The first type are the ones that people have added to and/or edited, but have repeated themselves a few times in the text or who have contradicted themselves; ie at the beginning of a couple's profile it says that the fem is curious about her bi side, but by the time you get to the end of the profile, she is looking solely for fem on fem action. The second type of profile that makes me move swiftly on is one that says 'fill in later', especially if they have been on the site a while. It's nice to have an idea what people are offering/looking for, it saves a protracted Q&A session, which, by the time you finish and have decided that you don't want to meet after all, you run the risk of getting a snot-a-gram from the other people accusing you of being time-wasters.  |
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"you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack! D"
4 d3 LuLz |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Must be local...what a load of sh!te that is..EVERYONE is local,to them self aren't they ?! 
And whats with these copyright,trademark,universities do not use my profile as a case study statements,yaawwwnnn |
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"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
Not a fan of humour then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Let's be honest, most profiles say the same thing anyway. I'd much rather chat to someone who has a short blurb on his profile, that drew me in, or his pics were to my taste. Wittering on about what they want, what they can do, their hobbies, pushing boundaries, like minded people blah, blah, blah, turns my brain to mush.
Short and sweet, with a nice face does it for me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP nailed it. I have a long profile, as I want to show off my personality. In fact, that's probably what's holding me back.
I should just make it short and sweet, and flood it with cock pics."
Your first paragraph would have been enough to get me chatting. From the horse's mouth is my preferred method. |
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"Our profile got longer as we found we didn’t really want to be wasting our time replying to unsuitable messages. A lot of guys have a bee in their bonnets about how rude ladies and couples are for not replying to messages. We pride ourselves in being polite people and don’t like being accused of being rude. So part of the solution was to write a very detailed description of what we’re about, so that people know whether it’s worthwhile messaging us. Then there if we ignore a message because they have ignored our profile, I think it’s reasobable to say we can’t be acused of being rude. This way we are giving people the chance of not wasting their time messaging us, and we’re not wasting our time replying to messages we never wanted. Everybody happy
Mrs"
This. It states twice in our profile that we can't/don't meet last minute. So when we get a message saying 'meet now' I'm quite happy to delete without a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have tried a number of different "write-ups" - from the lengthy & eloquent to the short and sharp. To be perfectly honest - I reckon around 1 person in 20 actually reads the whole profile (you can tell by messages from those people clearly unsuitable if they had read the profile). So, don't think it makes a jot of difference what you put - if someone likes the look of my missus from the public photos - they message ! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What’s with all the damn War & Peace profiles?!!!
Makes it a chore to even look at some profiles... Geez
Example (Not actually someone’s profile)
**************************************
No single men, unless the following can be provided
Single men must message at the strike of midnight with the following password FALLEN SPARROW... Using old Russian dialect pre 16th century, you will outline the assault on K (35) ginger flaps pussy using longitude and latitude grid references, back-to-front to confuse the enemy in case a pattern is observed thus breaking the element of surprise attack!
Must be local
Have a 30” cock
Have balls like the Thames barrier
... If not
We will contact you... DO NOT contact us!
**********************************
Meh "
Funny though. You could write me a new lengthy epic profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's about selling yourself op the more people know the more informed an opinion they can make on wether your worth messaging and building a rapport and then meeting but I'm guessing you stopped reading this after the first few words lol |
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I have to say, I don't really give a flying f**k about those that don't like our profile, the length of it or what pictures we decide to show.
I had fun writing it, hopefully it appeals to the certain kind of people that we think we would have something in common with.
Those that don't like it, the pics, or our veri's, care much? |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Mine is pretty long because I’m a chatterbox. You have to have a lot of patience and a strong will to pit up with me, so my profile is a fair warning system. I don’t think it’s complicated though, so it’s got that going for it at least! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Mine is pretty long because I’m a chatterbox. You have to have a lot of patience and a strong will to pit up with me, so my profile is a fair warning system. I don’t think it’s complicated though, so it’s got that going for it at least!"
and u like a nice bum x
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Come on guys. You know what the op was getting at. Bloody funny post and hes having a teasing dig at the brigade who demand practically the master race and get you to go through a lord of the rings type adventure just to then get ignored anyway. It put a smile on my face anyways "
This guy is intelligent... Lighten up peeps! It was a tongue in cheek observation. Write what you want, live your lives
But understand when someone is joking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A long profile and particularly an off putting first paragraph have served us very well, we don’t tend to get illiterate or poorly thought out messages and lazy people read the first paragraph and bolt or block
Win win
I don't get it. I read the whole thing. It's actually a great bit of text. But I don't see how you can consider people stopping reading before the end of the first paragraph lazy. It's not immediately obvious it's a piss take. There are enough alarm bells to scare anyone off! A single lady with her thousands of mails to check would probably stop reading after a couple of lines.
Still you say it works so what do I know. As i said fantastic profile once you get past that paragraph."
Maybe if they’ve no sense of humour and lack a bit of intellect they’d not suss fairly early on that it’s a piss take, it also acts as a great filter against those that actually display some of the traits mentioned, we’ve had a few saying they were offended by it, how ironic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to read something to get an idea of someone. Depending on how good someone is with words it doesn't have to be overly long to get the message across.
Long, rambling and negative profiles are very boring and I move on quickly. And I think the hurdles some people specify are quite daft, usually to deter men. They should use filters and then approach the people they want to talk to. |
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» Add a new message to this topic
Bit like Ronseal,does what it says,and i do get a few complements on it now and then 
