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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some of you might know my brother passed away recently. He lived in Australia so although I was really close to him and spoke quite often I never got to see him often.
Now I attended a swingers party on Saturday evening, which initially I was going to attend because of my brothers passing. But after chatting to friends and family(obviously not about going to a swinging party), they all said that I should get myself out and live life like my brother did. Deep down I know he wouldn't want any of us sat around moping around and being sad 24/7.
Now don't get me wrong I love my brother dearly and miss him so much and devastated that he is no longer with us. But I'm fed up of people saying I was wrong to go out and that I'm not devasted and my grief is fake. We all grieve in different ways and if I'm honest it's still not hit me properly. But in my heart I know he would not judge me for going so why do other people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say so, I went on a date a week after my mum died and it felt good just to get out of the house and take my mind off things for a few hours.
There's no right or wrong way to grieve |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think anyone has the right to tell you you were wrong to go out!! Shame on them for saying so! We all cope in different ways.
Sorry for your loss. Hugs. X |
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We all grieve in different ways
My dad died 2wks before my birthday, his funeral was the day after it, his birthday would have been 5days later.
I've not been able to celebrate my birthday since, I travel to Derbyshire to spend the week with my mum.
This year she has ordered me to go out & have a good time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We all grieve in different ways
My dad died 2wks before my birthday, his funeral was the day after it, his birthday would have been 5days later.
I've not been able to celebrate my birthday since, I travel to Derbyshire to spend the week with my mum.
This year she has ordered me to go out & have a good time."
yes I order you to and take me  |
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By *enatton2Couple
over a year ago
West Midlands |
Personally(mr) if I passed away I’d want my family/friends to go out and live it up. I don’t want any mourning.
In fact I may put it in my will that the wife has to go swinging immediately once I croak  |
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there is no feeling that is wrong after someone has passed away. you can celebrate his life, laugh about memories, be glad that he was in your life or be sad or a mixture of everything. some people get hit with grief immediately, some grief years later.
you remember your brother the way you want to. and I doubt that he would have wanted for you to me miserable ever after. do what feels right for you! |
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Life goes on. Life being the operative word. Criticising people for continuing their life when someone has lost theirs is an irony missed by many.
Help as the famous Sartre quote goes, is other people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it only me that finds the original post a bit odd? i.e. why would you want to publicise the death of a close one to all and sundry (who don't know you or the deceased) and then ask opinions around something after it?
Sorry - just all very, very strange to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of you might know my brother passed away recently. He lived in Australia so although I was really close to him and spoke quite often I never got to see him often.
Now I attended a swingers party on Saturday evening, which initially I was going to attend because of my brothers passing. But after chatting to friends and family(obviously not about going to a swinging party), they all said that I should get myself out and live life like my brother did. Deep down I know he wouldn't want any of us sat around moping around and being sad 24/7.
Now don't get me wrong I love my brother dearly and miss him so much and devastated that he is no longer with us. But I'm fed up of people saying I was wrong to go out and that I'm not devasted and my grief is fake. We all grieve in different ways and if I'm honest it's still not hit me properly. But in my heart I know he would not judge me for going so why do other people "
Sorry for your loss big hugs to u i know what you going throw because i lost my brother last year  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it only me that finds the original post a bit odd? i.e. why would you want to publicise the death of a close one to all and sundry (who don't know you or the deceased) and then ask opinions around something after it?
Sorry - just all very, very strange to me. "
Not just you. There are a couple of other people on here who would think the same. As you can see by the responses though, a lot of people are sympathetic and supportive.
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OP anyone judging you for how you grieve any loss at all, let alone a loss of this magnitude can fuck all the way off. Your relationship was unique to you and your brother alone and so is the grief process related to a loss you are only beginning to register. Don't mind them. Not for a second.
I am genuinely sorry for your lost xx |
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By *i1971Man
over a year ago
Cornwall |
Sorry for your loss.
You have to do what's right for you. No one else can grieve for you and you should do whatever feels right for you.
There's always some friends/family that won't see it the same way - that's their problem, not yours. |
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