FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Short messages - do you judge?
Short messages - do you judge?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We sometimes get into messaging with new people, couples and singles.
If the messages are short from them, and continue to be though the conversation, then we very quickly make assumptions that they are perhaps not the brightest or at least a bit one dimensional. Possibly even psychopathic.
We have can imagine sitting in a bar on a social with them. Us trying to have a conversation and them grunting in response.
Are we being harsh or are short messages a red flag/turn off for anyone else?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We sometimes get into messaging with new people, couples and singles.
If the messages are short from them, and continue to be though the conversation, then we very quickly make assumptions that they are perhaps not the brightest or at least a bit one dimensional. Possibly even psychopathic.
We have can imagine sitting in a bar on a social with them. Us trying to have a conversation and them grunting in response.
Are we being harsh or are short messages a red flag/turn off for anyone else?
"
I agree with you, I have tried on numerous occasions to have conversations with couples and single guys and given up after a couple of replies. No matter how hot he/they are, I just can’t get passed boring or non stimulating messages.
MrsK x |
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By *4us2Couple
over a year ago
scotland |
We get messages that are simply
"How are you"?
If the message is that boring it kind of reflects your personality and we tend to ignore them,if they cant make an effort with a simple messge its going nowhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't mind a short intoduction but hate closed replies with a passion. I much prefer someone who chats as much as me and gives me something to reply to x |
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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago
under my rock cleethorpes |
I think to an extent you have a point but on the other hand, in person, most responces would be a few words at a time in general conversation, the same as when you strike up a conversation you usually start with hello, and a lot on here are slated for doing exactly that, there are a lot of contradictory opinions on here and in general about how to approach someone because we all have different ways we like to be approached and no one knows how the other will respond until we’ve hit send, using what we know from someone via their profile is usually a good start but I can understand why a lot of guys don’t want to write a full paragraph that’s individual when the chances of them being rejected are higher than leading to a meet, obviously no one likes copy and paste so using shorter answers seems logical, that’s just my opinion and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me because we’re not sheep  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think to an extent you have a point but on the other hand, in person, most responces would be a few words at a time in general conversation, the same as when you strike up a conversation you usually start with hello, and a lot on here are slated for doing exactly that, there are a lot of contradictory opinions on here and in general about how to approach someone because we all have different ways we like to be approached and no one knows how the other will respond until we’ve hit send, using what we know from someone via their profile is usually a good start but I can understand why a lot of guys don’t want to write a full paragraph that’s individual when the chances of them being rejected are higher than leading to a meet, obviously no one likes copy and paste so using shorter answers seems logical, that’s just my opinion and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me because we’re not sheep "
We don’t disagree on first messages. A sentence or two is fine for us. However some people just can’t build rapport. We know it’s difficult but here’s a synopsis of a recent conversation we had :
Us : blah blah long message What do you like ?
Them: Full swap
Us: blah blah long reply ... and have you met many couples?
Them: two
Us: blah blah longish reply ... been to any parties or clubs ?
Them: no
Us: sorry just been told we’ll be at work for the next year 24-7 so unfortunately can’t make time to meet you. Gutted
Them: ok
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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago
Torfaen/Gwent |
"We sometimes get into messaging with new people, couples and singles.
If the messages are short from them, and continue to be though the conversation, then we very quickly make assumptions that they are perhaps not the brightest or at least a bit one dimensional. Possibly even psychopathic.
We have can imagine sitting in a bar on a social with them. Us trying to have a conversation and them grunting in response.
Are we being harsh or are short messages a red flag/turn off for anyone else?
"
Depends what the messages are and what the conversation is.
Just because someone is eloquent in messages doesn’t mean they are in person. I’m quite talkative in messages as well as dirty minded and sarcastic. In person I’m actually quite shy until I have warmed up to a person. Which sometimes never happens.
So I try not to judge on messages. Especially as I also have dyslexia so understand some people use shorter words because they know how to spell them. Rather than trying to sound smart and get things wrong.
Autocorrect only goes so far. If you’re completely off base with a word, it doesn’t help. I’ve changed whole sentences before because I couldn’t work out how to spell a word and not all replacement words work exactly the same way in a sentence. |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"I think to an extent you have a point but on the other hand, in person, most responces would be a few words at a time in general conversation, the same as when you strike up a conversation you usually start with hello, and a lot on here are slated for doing exactly that, there are a lot of contradictory opinions on here and in general about how to approach someone because we all have different ways we like to be approached and no one knows how the other will respond until we’ve hit send, using what we know from someone via their profile is usually a good start but I can understand why a lot of guys don’t want to write a full paragraph that’s individual when the chances of them being rejected are higher than leading to a meet, obviously no one likes copy and paste so using shorter answers seems logical, that’s just my opinion and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me because we’re not sheep
We don’t disagree on first messages. A sentence or two is fine for us. However some people just can’t build rapport. We know it’s difficult but here’s a synopsis of a recent conversation we had :
Us : blah blah long message What do you like ?
Them: Full swap
Us: blah blah long reply ... and have you met many couples?
Them: two
Us: blah blah longish reply ... been to any parties or clubs ?
Them: no
Us: sorry just been told we’ll be at work for the next year 24-7 so unfortunately can’t make time to meet you. Gutted
Them: ok
"
Think the expression is ‘pulling teeth ‘. Been two many a dinner party like that. |
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By *nix2003Man
over a year ago
houghton le spring |
It can pretty hard trying to start a conversation when a lot of the profiles are quiet empty or your message just gets lost in the many you lady’s get.
I give a brief intro and a picture or try a funny replie to there posting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Possibly even psychopathic"
Really OP???
Perhaps Just a tad judgemental.
Apologies if my reply is of undue brevity "
Just being flippant with the psychopathic comment. However having heard some of the shocking ‘worst meets ever’ stories we’d be a bit nervous meeting someone who’s only ever exchanged pretty much single word answers. There are some weirdos out there in fabland . 
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Delete unread for me. I’m an inveterate chatterbox and I need partners to be the same else I’ll feel like I’m hogging the conversation. Just saying, “Hi, how are you?”, as a preamble always makes me wonder whether their foreplay skills would be just as brief. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Possibly even psychopathic"
Really OP???
Perhaps Just a tad judgemental.
Apologies if my reply is of undue brevity
Just being flippant with the psychopathic comment. However having heard some of the shocking ‘worst meets ever’ stories we’d be a bit nervous meeting someone who’s only ever exchanged pretty much single word answers. There are some weirdos out there in fabland .
"
And there ability to string words together in sufficient quantity and context is an indication that they are not a weirdo or potential worst meet ever?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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""Possibly even psychopathic"
Really OP???
Perhaps Just a tad judgemental.
Apologies if my reply is of undue brevity
Just being flippant with the psychopathic comment. However having heard some of the shocking ‘worst meets ever’ stories we’d be a bit nervous meeting someone who’s only ever exchanged pretty much single word answers. There are some weirdos out there in fabland .
And there ability to string words together in sufficient quantity and context is an indication that they are not a weirdo or potential worst meet ever?
"
No but the converse, few words and small vocabulary, is probably a stronger indicator in our opinion.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. You are not being harsh. I have a full profile and see it as manners and respectful to read the profile and respond to it. To respond with a one liner that is completely unrelated to the profile shows disrespect for swingers and just plain bad manners. In almost all cases there is a one-liner profile too. Just rude. I always reply politely, as I'm aware there could be a very fragile person doing this. |
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I absolutely hate have conversations like that. The worst thing is when they started out speaking normally so you think ok I'll give them a chance and add them as a friend, then it deteriorates rapidly and every conversation is excruciatingly drawn out. |
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We love the chatter!  If were talking via Kik then it's different as it's more akin to a real time conversation with shorter content.
If it's via fabmail then we'll put the time into writing a few paragraphs with some open ended questions and responses. If that elicits a 'lol k' or a few short words then things tend to dry up fairly quickly. |
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"I think to an extent you have a point but on the other hand, in person, most responces would be a few words at a time in general conversation, the same as when you strike up a conversation you usually start with hello, and a lot on here are slated for doing exactly that, there are a lot of contradictory opinions on here and in general about how to approach someone because we all have different ways we like to be approached and no one knows how the other will respond until we’ve hit send, using what we know from someone via their profile is usually a good start but I can understand why a lot of guys don’t want to write a full paragraph that’s individual when the chances of them being rejected are higher than leading to a meet, obviously no one likes copy and paste so using shorter answers seems logical, that’s just my opinion and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me because we’re not sheep
We don’t disagree on first messages. A sentence or two is fine for us. However some people just can’t build rapport. We know it’s difficult but here’s a synopsis of a recent conversation we had :
Us : blah blah long message What do you like ?
Them: Full swap
Us: blah blah long reply ... and have you met many couples?
Them: two
Us: blah blah longish reply ... been to any parties or clubs ?
Them: no
Us: sorry just been told we’ll be at work for the next year 24-7 so unfortunately can’t make time to meet you. Gutted
Them: ok
"
Being asked "what do you like?" is a conversational dead end for me and I kind of recognise the responses you receive after asking me that  It's all on my profile and kinky details are saved for later  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One word replies are a big turn off for us both especially in first few messages as surely that’s when you know if there’s a spark to be had on a mental and physical level, tom is more tolerant than me as I just can’t be bothered if they can’t. As said above to I dread what a social would be like x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just for shits and giggles I've recently taken to answering no effort short messages with matching enthusiasm. It's hilarious that in a few responses most guys tell me I haven't much to say for myself "
Yes I've done that too. Ironic isn't it? It's okay for them to be monosyllabic but women have to make all the effort |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're not fussed as long as it's not "wanna fuck?"
On the flip side we don't want to waste time writing very long messages, short, sweet and polite. Of people want to know more or are interested they will message back. |
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