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Confused.com
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"Completely agree in every respect. You just have to park it move on use the block button their loss your gain imo. I understand there it is up to the male to stand out from the rest and the ladies do have an immense amount of messages hitting their inbox but chuffin ell its just manners and common courtesy at the end of the day."  | |||
"This is not a bar, and women in a bar would not have hundreds of men saying 'hello', when she walked into a bar." And the guys wouldn't have their body completely covered with a few having just their cock hanging out either 
In a bar you get to clearly see who you are talking to and know from the start if you want to talk to them or not. On Fab most guys hide behind their screens, out of focus photos, cock pics or pics showing a tiny bit of them and mostly the woman they are fucking, which means they are going to have to make more effort with their messages. | |||
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"I just read an old post about about the way people approach others on Fab. Now I know someone will probably want to shoot me for asking so let me explain the conundrum!!! General consensus seems to be that men fail with their approach to most women. Not writing long enough introductory messages, winking at a profile or copy/pasting messages. On this particular post it asked the OP: would you approach a woman in a bar with a wink or just a simple hi? I am in no way a Casanova of any sorts, yet I enjoy striking up conversation with people in all settings. Weirdly enough whether it’s in a board room, a park, standing at the side of the road or a train platform I always start a conversation with ‘hello’ ‘hi’ or ‘alright’! Sometimes if I’m on my best behaviour a good morning/afternoon/evening or night. I struggle with this as I have always been bought up to do so. So do you see my struggle with this topic? So many profiles saying not to approach or open a conversation with hello! Insisting some write lengthy messages, even then I would start with a hello. Now picture yourself in a bar having said hello to someone, would not returning the gesture be seen as rude? Whether I fancy that person or not I would still return a pleasantry. Please note I am not directing this at anyone in particular but I’m sure it will resonate and strike a chord with some. " whenever you get too much of something good you hate it in the end does that ring a bell ?  | |||
"I don’t think op meant people should get a reply and some have blown the bar scenario way out. His point was profiles that say don’t start a message with hi or how are you. But people who have been brought up with manners start conversation this way with a hello how are you followed by the rest of the message. Think he asking how else is there to start a message to a complete stranger. Yes endless messages from people who just put hi, hello or how are you are boring and pointless but if there followed by a well thought out message is really a bad thing. " I understand that but this is fab world we all know why people are messaging its in hope it will go further so saying hi how are you is not what you are really wanting to know ... You want to know if there is a mutral attraction or even a possible meet on the cards as always a great place to start is by reading the profile to see if there is same interests and if you get no reply move on that person has looked at your profile and you are not for them x | |||
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"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal?" We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. Mrs | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. Mrs" Ahhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel "It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation. Mrs | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel "And in addition thats not true, that single men are good for nsa only. We have have many of our single male playmates over dinner at our house. We treat them like friends, we chat via WhatsApp. But that does not mean we wish to chat on Fab for the sake of it with men we don’t know. | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel "That's not what they implied at all. | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs"Actually, I do tell them stuff like this, was polite to a guy the other day then he started asking what was I wearing etc, told him clothes and just about to put my coat on. Ask me a silly question you'll get a silly answer back. He was only wasting his time not mine | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal?" What on earth do you say in your reply to get a barrage of abuse? I always reply to first messages and cant remember the last time I had any abuse for saying no thanks. I think the people that delete or don't reply cause issues because people get fed up of the rudeness. It's not difficult to be respectful. | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs"well unfortunately you are incorrect it that analogy many are here to converse and don't think with their dicks | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrswell unfortunately you are incorrect it that analogy many are here to converse and don't think with their dicks "in not it | |||
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""It's not difficult to be respectful." Yup, and anyone who gets fed up or has issues with a 'no reply' are being disrespectful to the site rules. You want to talk 'respect'... how about the last message we got from someone that said 'Hi Hunni - you want to Fuck today'... How about the respect shown to a clear couples profile, with a note saying meeting random strangers at next to no notice is the last thing we'd ever do, in our profile? Should we respond? Should we say, 'sorry, not today'. Should we say 'no thanks'? You tell me - does that question have any respect in it? Does it deserve a respectful response? Are we being rude by just not replying as per the site rules to show we are not interested? Should I direct the guy to our profile text? Respect? Don't make me laugh. Some (most?) of the guys on this site are disrespectful cocks with no brains thinking its a route to a quick shag. The others are great, intelligent, funny and 'respectful' people who are welcome in our circle of friends." have you read the site rules and do you adhere to them religiously ? | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal?" Totally agree with this and have experienced the same.... abusive messages if you politely say no or being called a time waster because you weren’t really interested in the first place, you were just trying to be polite by replying to the message. It might not even be that your not interested, there just literally isn’t enough time in the day to reply to all the messages and there’s only so many people you can meet at a time  | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrswell unfortunately you are incorrect it that analogy many are here to converse and don't think with their dicks "That is true, not all men think with their dicks, But there is common goal amongst Fab users (whether male or female), and I am not incorrect when I say that most people are using this site to find sex or talk about sex. It would be absurd to come on a swinging/sex site just for the purpose of having general conversation. Yes later, upon a friendship being developed, sure I might tell a playmate how my weekend was. But I’m not going to use Fab to discuss the vanilla stuff of my life. Maybe it’s me who thinks with my dick! Mrs | |||
"I reply to all first messages. Even if it's just a "hi". Some people get pissed off with composing long messages and getting no replies and I appreciate that's just shit. So I say hello back and see how they react. Maybe they reply with something interesting now they know I'm a human being and not going to just delete their message. Maybe it's the start of something fun.
"I agree 100%. I've constructed long protracted interesting messages only for them to be ignored and deleted. Most replies i recieved have been to a simple hi. | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs"Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually? If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start? | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Actually, I do tell them stuff like this, was polite to a guy the other day then he started asking what was I wearing etc, told him clothes and just about to put my coat on. Ask me a silly question you'll get a silly answer back. He was only wasting his time not mine "???????? | |||
"I just read an old post about about the way people approach others on Fab. Now I know someone will probably want to shoot me for asking so let me explain the conundrum!!! General consensus seems to be that men fail with their approach to most women. Not writing long enough introductory messages, winking at a profile or copy/pasting messages. On this particular post it asked the OP: would you approach a woman in a bar with a wink or just a simple hi? I am in no way a Casanova of any sorts, yet I enjoy striking up conversation with people in all settings. Weirdly enough whether it’s in a board room, a park, standing at the side of the road or a train platform I always start a conversation with ‘hello’ ‘hi’ or ‘alright’! Sometimes if I’m on my best behaviour a good morning/afternoon/evening or night. I struggle with this as I have always been bought up to do so. So do you see my struggle with this topic? So many profiles saying not to approach or open a conversation with hello! Insisting some write lengthy messages, even then I would start with a hello. Now picture yourself in a bar having said hello to someone, would not returning the gesture be seen as rude? Whether I fancy that person or not I would still return a pleasantry. Please note I am not directing this at anyone in particular but I’m sure it will resonate and strike a chord with some. " the trouble with the but if you met in a bar approach is its all different,meeting in a bar and clicking is initially about look you fancy each other then personality you start chatting,here is all about READ and a little about look if you have pics ,so here its very important to get a reaction with your words | |||
""It's not difficult to be respectful." Yup, and anyone who gets fed up or has issues with a 'no reply' are being disrespectful to the site rules. You want to talk 'respect'... how about the last message we got from someone that said 'Hi Hunni - you want to Fuck today'... How about the respect shown to a clear couples profile, with a note saying meeting random strangers at next to no notice is the last thing we'd ever do, in our profile? Should we respond? Should we say, 'sorry, not today'. Should we say 'no thanks'? You tell me - does that question have any respect in it? Does it deserve a respectful response? Are we being rude by just not replying as per the site rules to show we are not interested? Should I direct the guy to our profile text? Respect? Don't make me laugh. Some (most?) of the guys on this site are disrespectful cocks with no brains thinking its a route to a quick shag. The others are great, intelligent, funny and 'respectful' people who are welcome in our circle of friends." I think you misread what I wrote. I didn’t attempt to justify the wanna fuck messages. I think you got hit under the collar because that message started with hi? No it was the wanna fuck bit that I found distasteful. How does that relate to my post? Calm down | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?"I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men. Mrs | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrs"that's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while | |||
| |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. " this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets "I think it becomes real when a meet takes place | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think it becomes real when a meet takes place"its all real most people meet through chat sites or dating sites eg online we're just in a club with the category of sex but most sites even tinder or pof the theme is the same .........chat ,swap pics ,meet | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrsthat's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while "There probably is an assumption from single guys that if a lady or a couple have a profile on Fab then they are probably actively looking for private meets with new people. The reality is that many are already having a lot of fun, in which case it can be bloody hard work for a single guy to convince a lady or a couple that they need to make an addition to what they are already getting. So for the guys that really only want to start a connection with ‘hi’, it would probably be wise to identify those profiles who are actively looking, because then the ‘hi’ has a better chance of falling on an audience. Mrs | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets "And real butt-hurt if people won’t meet or meet other people first!  | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think it becomes real when a meet takes placeits all real most people meet through chat sites or dating sites eg online we're just in a club with the category of sex but most sites even tinder or pof the theme is the same .........chat ,swap pics ,meet "Off subject slightly. But 15 years ago I would meet a different guy every week from Dating Direct. I didn’t mind wasting my time in those days meeting a guy I may or may not like. I’d be mortified now if we met someone I didn’t like. We’d regard it as a waste of a precious free evening. That’s one of the reasons we hardly ever meet anyone new. Therefore if we’re not going to meet there is no point in leading men on with chit chat. | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrsthat's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while
There probably is an assumption from single guys that if a lady or a couple have a profile on Fab then they are probably actively looking for private meets with new people. The reality is that many are already having a lot of fun, in which case it can be bloody hard work for a single guy to convince a lady or a couple that they need to make an addition to what they are already getting. So for the guys that really only want to start a connection with ‘hi’, it would probably be wise to identify those profiles who are actively looking, because then the ‘hi’ has a better chance of falling on an audience.
Mrs"I think that assumption for a new guy coming to this site is maybe a little ambitious,the new guy is thinking about getting a sexual liason the fact that he's been naive in thinking ' hi ' is enough to achieve it is just a very basic error of judgement,human beings have very complex brains eg you throw a human who can't swim into deep water they drown throw a dog in and it swims ,many women don't credit men here with a thought process other than that that their dicks generate but most learn quickly | |||
| |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrsthat's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while
There probably is an assumption from single guys that if a lady or a couple have a profile on Fab then they are probably actively looking for private meets with new people. The reality is that many are already having a lot of fun, in which case it can be bloody hard work for a single guy to convince a lady or a couple that they need to make an addition to what they are already getting. So for the guys that really only want to start a connection with ‘hi’, it would probably be wise to identify those profiles who are actively looking, because then the ‘hi’ has a better chance of falling on an audience.
MrsI think that assumption for a new guy coming to this site is maybe a little ambitious,the new guy is thinking about getting a sexual liason the fact that he's been naive in thinking ' hi ' is enough to achieve it is just a very basic error of judgement,human beings have very complex brains eg you throw a human who can't swim into deep water they drown throw a dog in and it swims ,many women don't credit men here with a thought process other than that that their dicks generate but most learn quickly "I don’t blame guys for getting the wrong idea that people don’t necessarily use Fab to find meets. My experience with dating sites was that people had an active profile when there were actively looking. That’s all very clear. Swinging sites arent so clear because there are so many different approaches. A new guy won’t realise that many use this site just to find out about parties, or that many will stick up a meet status once a year when they decide they want to meet. It’s probably very confusing to a guy who’s come from the simplicity of a dating site. Mrs | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrsthat's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while
There probably is an assumption from single guys that if a lady or a couple have a profile on Fab then they are probably actively looking for private meets with new people. The reality is that many are already having a lot of fun, in which case it can be bloody hard work for a single guy to convince a lady or a couple that they need to make an addition to what they are already getting. So for the guys that really only want to start a connection with ‘hi’, it would probably be wise to identify those profiles who are actively looking, because then the ‘hi’ has a better chance of falling on an audience.
MrsI think that assumption for a new guy coming to this site is maybe a little ambitious,the new guy is thinking about getting a sexual liason the fact that he's been naive in thinking ' hi ' is enough to achieve it is just a very basic error of judgement,human beings have very complex brains eg you throw a human who can't swim into deep water they drown throw a dog in and it swims ,many women don't credit men here with a thought process other than that that their dicks generate but most learn quickly
I don’t blame guys for getting the wrong idea that people don’t necessarily use Fab to find meets. My experience with dating sites was that people had an active profile when there were actively looking. That’s all very clear. Swinging sites arent so clear because there are so many different approaches. A new guy won’t realise that many use this site just to find out about parties, or that many will stick up a meet status once a year when they decide they want to meet. It’s probably very confusing to a guy who’s come from the simplicity of a dating site.
Mrs"I possibly think the way you approach this site may be in a minority niche to but hey we are all different and all welcome ,the OPs approach is just as valid as ours and his opinion is to | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrsthat's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while
There probably is an assumption from single guys that if a lady or a couple have a profile on Fab then they are probably actively looking for private meets with new people. The reality is that many are already having a lot of fun, in which case it can be bloody hard work for a single guy to convince a lady or a couple that they need to make an addition to what they are already getting. So for the guys that really only want to start a connection with ‘hi’, it would probably be wise to identify those profiles who are actively looking, because then the ‘hi’ has a better chance of falling on an audience.
MrsI think that assumption for a new guy coming to this site is maybe a little ambitious,the new guy is thinking about getting a sexual liason the fact that he's been naive in thinking ' hi ' is enough to achieve it is just a very basic error of judgement,human beings have very complex brains eg you throw a human who can't swim into deep water they drown throw a dog in and it swims ,many women don't credit men here with a thought process other than that that their dicks generate but most learn quickly
I don’t blame guys for getting the wrong idea that people don’t necessarily use Fab to find meets. My experience with dating sites was that people had an active profile when there were actively looking. That’s all very clear. Swinging sites arent so clear because there are so many different approaches. A new guy won’t realise that many use this site just to find out about parties, or that many will stick up a meet status once a year when they decide they want to meet. It’s probably very confusing to a guy who’s come from the simplicity of a dating site.
MrsI possibly think the way you approach this site may be in a minority niche to but hey we are all different and all welcome ,the OPs approach is just as valid as ours and his opinion is to "In that case I don’t know why his approach doesn’t work with other couples. I’m guessing it doesn’t work with single women because they get to many messages to even notice the ‘hi’ messages. | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal? We’re find that dilemma a lot. Someone we have exchanged a couple of messages a while back, messaged to ask us how our weekend had been. Should we say ‘fine thanks’, or should we say ‘had a great day gardening’ (does someone from a swingers site really want to know that?) What do we say, when the truth is we really don’t feel like discussing our weekend with someone on the Internet. Perhaps we should say ‘that’s none of your business’. That would be truthful, but much ruder than ignoring. And unlike in a normal social situation, we know that if we keep on replying out of politeness, eventually we’re going to have to find some way of ending a conversation we never wanted in the first place. MrsAhhhh I get you so its beneath you as a couple to treat a fellow human being as a worthy conversationalist we are good for NSA sex only how novel
It’s not beneath me, I’m just not a very sociable person. I don’t enjoy making conversation with strangers, whether at the Tesco’s checkout or on a site where men are looking for sex. However with the latter I have to be super careful, because men on Fab (unlike the checkout person in the supermarket) are not making conversation just to pass the time of day. They are making conversation because they are looking for sex. Most men on Fab would consider me a timewaster if I started telling them about my garden and my children and my job, and other mundane things that people talk about to make conversation.
Mrs
Mrs surely it’s not just men on here seeking sex? You have a couples profile so I would assume that both yourself and Mr are seeking something that mutually excites you both sexually?
If you’re not here seeking sex, wouldn’t conversation be a good thing? With this in mind a simple hi may be the best place to start?
I would say that we’re on the swing scene for sex and friendship, and yes indeed conversation is a good thing to have with people we want to have sex with. However we are rarely actively looking for new playmates, therefore a simple hi probably isn’t going to spark our interest. I guess maybe if we were starting from scratch, and had absolutely no playmates or connections, it may be a good way to start by responding to all the ‘hi’ type messages and see where it leads us. But probably a case of we’re happy with what we’ve got on the swing scene, so on the rare occasions we do meet someone new it will be because we’ve seen someone on Fab who we really think is an essential addition to our fun. But we won’t actively look for that, so it’s not in our interest to chit chat with various men.
Mrsthat's a fairly normal reaction for a couple that have been doing this a while
There probably is an assumption from single guys that if a lady or a couple have a profile on Fab then they are probably actively looking for private meets with new people. The reality is that many are already having a lot of fun, in which case it can be bloody hard work for a single guy to convince a lady or a couple that they need to make an addition to what they are already getting. So for the guys that really only want to start a connection with ‘hi’, it would probably be wise to identify those profiles who are actively looking, because then the ‘hi’ has a better chance of falling on an audience.
MrsI think that assumption for a new guy coming to this site is maybe a little ambitious,the new guy is thinking about getting a sexual liason the fact that he's been naive in thinking ' hi ' is enough to achieve it is just a very basic error of judgement,human beings have very complex brains eg you throw a human who can't swim into deep water they drown throw a dog in and it swims ,many women don't credit men here with a thought process other than that that their dicks generate but most learn quickly
I don’t blame guys for getting the wrong idea that people don’t necessarily use Fab to find meets. My experience with dating sites was that people had an active profile when there were actively looking. That’s all very clear. Swinging sites arent so clear because there are so many different approaches. A new guy won’t realise that many use this site just to find out about parties, or that many will stick up a meet status once a year when they decide they want to meet. It’s probably very confusing to a guy who’s come from the simplicity of a dating site.
MrsI possibly think the way you approach this site may be in a minority niche to but hey we are all different and all welcome ,the OPs approach is just as valid as ours and his opinion is to
In that case I don’t know why his approach doesn’t work with other couples. I’m guessing it doesn’t work with single women because they get to many messages to even notice the ‘hi’ messages. "yes its just another case of try hi and try again | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets "I think you and I and I have a different definition of real world. I consider a website or Internet forum as virtual world, and meeting anywhere in person as real world. | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think you and I and I have a different definition of real world. I consider a website or Internet forum as virtual world, and meeting anywhere in person as real world. "most people meet online now from the young to the old ,this is the now and it is real | |||
"So where does it stop OP? You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' Its not responded to. You say thats rude. You send a message saying 'Hi How are you?' User isn't keen, but not wanting to appear rude responds - 'fine thanks'. You now think - boom! I'm in and send another message. The user now has a real dillema. Ignore the second fuller message and guess what - appear rude... or send a message back saying, 'sorry. but you really aren't for me/us'. I'm guessing now you'll state in this forum that you'd simply tip your hat and move on. Well let me tell you from bitter experience that the barrage of abuse that normally follows the rejection just isn't worth the hassle. To save that, and at the risk of appearing rude, we just don't respond. Its very clear that no response means not interested... why do so many users find that difficult to deal?" Exactly | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think you and I and I have a different definition of real world. I consider a website or Internet forum as virtual world, and meeting anywhere in person as real world. most people meet online now from the young to the old ,this is the now and it is real "Not real to me until I meet someone in person. Too many people online messing about, not who they say they are etc. | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think you and I and I have a different definition of real world. I consider a website or Internet forum as virtual world, and meeting anywhere in person as real world. most people meet online now from the young to the old ,this is the now and it is real
Not real to me until I meet someone in person. Too many people online messing about, not who they say they are etc."well I've not come across that but hey you have so different experience different opinion | |||
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"To be fair , in a bar you see the person face to face,, there smile there dress , tthe way they hold them selves. , there looks,, , all the abouve are hidden well on fab so a simple ‘hello’ doesn’t quite cut the mustard ,, but to be fair what the fuck does on this site now days "a knife maybe | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think you and I and I have a different definition of real world. I consider a website or Internet forum as virtual world, and meeting anywhere in person as real world. most people meet online now from the young to the old ,this is the now and it is real
Not real to me until I meet someone in person. Too many people online messing about, not who they say they are etc.well I've not come across that but hey you have so different experience different opinion "Believe me, I've been doing this for years and have had some very strange experiences of online behaviour. But going back to the original point, a one-word message like "hi" isn't going to cut it with the majority of people on here. You need to show interest, personality/humour and give an indication of what you're looking for and what you can offer. | |||
"Communication in the real world is not the same as in the virtual world through. No body language, voice intonation etc. So different skills are required to pique someone's interest online. You have to try to build some kind of rapport in your opening messages. this is the real world ........real people ,real conversations,real meets
I think you and I and I have a different definition of real world. I consider a website or Internet forum as virtual world, and meeting anywhere in person as real world. most people meet online now from the young to the old ,this is the now and it is real
Not real to me until I meet someone in person. Too many people online messing about, not who they say they are etc.well I've not come across that but hey you have so different experience different opinion
Believe me, I've been doing this for years and have had some very strange experiences of online behaviour. But going back to the original point, a one-word message like "hi" isn't going to cut it with the majority of people on here. You need to show interest, personality/humour and give an indication of what you're looking for and what you can offer."I do I always do ,he hasn't learn it yet ......years in he will be so much wiser | |||
