FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you ever tell any fab meet your real name including surname?
Do you ever tell any fab meet your real name including surname?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this? |
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
We are very cautious too, we don't use our real names, and our location isn't exact, but close enough.
Some people who we have known for a while get to know more, and one or two know us very well, right down to address etc, but then we count them as lifelong friends and know the same about them.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about?  "
If it was a conventional dating site I would agree but not fab. I like to draw a line between fab and.my day to day life. I don't want friends and family to know I am on fab and would expect my meets to have a similar mindset |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about? "
. Our thoughts entirely xxx |
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Just our first names never our surname.
We've met people who tell us half way through the social when we've been calling them Fred that their name's really Brian. If you're going to use an alias keep it up or don't bother. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I tell people I message regularly my first name - don't go out of my way to tell anyone my surname though although a few I have met may well know it if they also have my phone number (which is very few) and have taken the trouble to investigate.
If a prospective meet asked for more detail to feel safe then I'd be happy to share it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They don't need to know my name. I'm happy not giving any information to people I meet online. It doesn't make me a liar it means I'm careful about protecting my identity. |
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
We do as we don't use Social media.
Have no issue with them knowing who we are as long as they know we like to remain private. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1st name yes, only 1 knows my Surname unless others have guessed. It's not really something that bothers me, I have nothing to hide but then I also don't use social media, so doubt you could find much by stalking anyway. |
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about? "
Our first names coupled with the small town in which we live are a dead giveaway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always use my first name well a shortened version anyway. Have come across people who use a different name. It's confusing. I'm terrible at names anyway lol. I don't give my surname but I don't do that on dating sites either. |
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
There a a few people who we call friends, there is no issue with them knowing our names. My name is shortened because it's very unusual. Anita's name is more common... so we use it.
I do find that I have to constantly explain my name to people, so the shortened version is generally easier.
Cal |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
Always use our real names, gets far to confusing trying to use false names. As for Surnames we couldn't even tell you surnames of our close Vanilla friends. We never overthink things in this lifestyle just don't advertise it in our vanilla life. At the end of the day if we make friends with people they are just that, friends, no matter which hobby we share. Maybe if you are a trainspotter you might not like to give real names, just an afterthought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tell them my first name. Don't think anyone has ever asked me my last name, but I did fill out a hotel booking in form and wrote both our details on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If u give them ur mobile number. And they type it into Google. Or Facebook. U would be surprised to know your profile pops up. That's with no name at all... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If u give them ur mobile number. And they type it into Google. Or Facebook. U would be surprised to know your profile pops up. That's with no name at all..."
Only if you're silly enough to link your phone number to your fb account. Fb keeps prompting me to do it but I never have |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thinking ..o0( a rose by any other name... )
Never give names out online. Once met and getting to know them then yes names help and to hell with trying to remember fake ones. No one needs to know our surnames. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about?
If it was a conventional dating site I would agree but not fab. I like to draw a line between fab and.my day to day life. I don't want friends and family to know I am on fab and would expect my meets to have a similar mindset "
Why would you "expect your meets" to have the same mindset as you?
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Only with people I really get to know & trust.
I've got a few very good friends on here, that I'd consider life long friends almost like family, we're on other social medias, chat daily & go out, stay at each others houses.
But someone I see for just occasional meets, no chance. |
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No I don’t and had I known when I started what I know now I’d have a scene first name not my real one. People you meet repeatedly and over a long time though do sometimes cross that line - yesterday I had to send my passport details to someone on fab to book a flight together.
It felt a bit weird, it always does for me having been stalked in the past, but then there was her full name in the confirmation too. If we’re close enough to go away together, we’re close enough to each other’s full names.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use a shortened version of my first name but only if chatting and maybe planning to meet
Never give out my phone number and only use kik for fab. I’ve been burned in the past and am now v careful  x |
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If we all shared our full names, addresses, contact details on here, then we might as well be sporting an ‘I’m on Fabswingers’ badge and wearing it out in public on a daily basis.
Sadly there is a stigma attached to this lifestyle and so discretion becomes paramount. We don’t need to know personal details and would expect the same in return.
Ed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll give my first name out to people if we've been talking for ages or if we're about to meet. Phone number only to those I'm about to meet. There are a few people on here I feel I could trust with more if need be. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If we all shared our full names, addresses, contact details on here, then we might as well be sporting an ‘I’m on Fabswingers’ badge and wearing it out in public on a daily basis.
Sadly there is a stigma attached to this lifestyle and so discretion becomes paramount. We don’t need to know personal details and would expect the same in return.
Ed"
Agreed |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about?
If it was a conventional dating site I would agree but not fab. I like to draw a line between fab and.my day to day life. I don't want friends and family to know I am on fab and would expect my meets to have a similar mindset
Why would you "expect your meets" to have the same mindset as you?
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For keeping details private yes I would |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people will only ever know me as Courtney. A very very few people know my and Marc's names (last names and all). A level of trust has been built up.
I'll admit, though, that a good portion of my openness comes from knowing I'm not staying on the UK. When I go back to the U.S. I will be far more cautious because that is "real life" for me. I doubt I'll even tell anyone my first name there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always sign messages with my first name,but only when I know & trust someone will I reveal my surname. I don't want my family,friends or work collegues know that I'm a swinger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only 2 regular meets know my real name, none know my surname, nor do any know exactly where I live...I'm deliberately vague.
My number isn't linked to any social media accounts - not that I give it out very often, kik is more secure.
Nobody on Fab needs to know anything about my personal life  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
I do like to be on first name terms with people I chat to.....Never ever my surname.....No way jose |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
No you're not alone. We were 'outed' some years ago and it was a horrible experience, so never divulge any personal details or entertain at home anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One of my past meets knew my real name before we met because we have known each other a long time
People I meet more than once know my first name or what I prefer to be called at least |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about? "
Totally agree... don’t see why you would lie about your first name. I understand not telling them your surname and other personal details, but your first name??? Don’t see the issue x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I use my first name with those I know and trust. My phone number is only ever for someone I know I can trust or have met or intend to meet.
I can think of very few I would trust with more. But there are one or two.
And I don't have Facebook or other social media. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yep! Along with my middle name, dob, long number on my card, expiry date and the last three numbers on the back
Can I have your pin number too please.  "
Well... okay... but don't tell anyone!... It's 1... 2... 3...
Nah, I changed my mind. You'll never guess the last one anyway |
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"Yep! Along with my middle name, dob, long number on my card, expiry date and the last three numbers on the back
Can I have your pin number too please.
Well... okay... but don't tell anyone!... It's 1... 2... 3...
Nah, I changed my mind. You'll never guess the last one anyway "
Damn, now I am stuck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anybody we meet regularly we treat as friends and hence usually know their full names and them ours. That would be normal for friends we weren’t having sex with, therefore we don’t see why it should be different just because we’re having sex with them. We don’t get messed about the way so many people of Fab seem to, and I think it might be partly because our openness generates loyalty.
Mrs |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"Anybody we meet regularly we treat as friends and hence usually know their full names and them ours. That would be normal for friends we weren’t having sex with, therefore we don’t see why it should be different just because we’re having sex with them. We don’t get messed about the way so many people of Fab seem to, and I think it might be partly because our openness generates loyalty.
Mrs"
Same as us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do not use our real names ..We did but a friends son recognised Diane (not real name) on here and contacted her on facebook asking her to verify his account on here..We closed the account and set this one up and blocked him on facebook ..We are not worried he will say anything, he as a partner and baby so really should not be on here I suppose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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WOW I agree if I only meet a couple once, always use my real name and home location not address
However one couple I met through here I consider good friends and have been invited to family functions. I treat them as good friends and easily explain our friendship in a vanilla way.
I feel very lucky to be trusted this way as I trust them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
of course and my bank account details it makes for much better sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?of course and my bank account details it makes for much better sex"
That few hudred quid certainly came in handy, so thanks for sharing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?of course and my bank account details it makes for much better sex
That few hudred quid certainly came in handy, so thanks for sharing "
its ok shhhhhhh think we got away with it nobody on this weekend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do not use our real names ..We did but a friends son recognised Diane (not real name) on here and contacted her on facebook asking her to verify his account on here..We closed the account and set this one up and blocked him on facebook ..We are not worried he will say anything, he as a partner and baby so really should not be on here I suppose "
what a complicated web we weave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't hide my full name and details if the need ever comes up but then I'm not a casual swinger, I have only ever made friends here first and if something comes of it then great."
I’m the same. Any people I have connected with are on my whatsapp and can see my full name. I like to be open and if they want to know then I have no problem. I don’t meet for one offs so it’s a bit different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. I've nothing to hide and I'm a confident, capable man with nothing to hide.
Not something I'd reccomend to people less confident, less capable or with something to hide. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes. I've nothing to hide and I'm a confident, capable man with nothing to hide.
Not something I'd reccomend to people less confident, less capable or with something to hide."
Used "Hide" A lit then. Apologies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about?
If it was a conventional dating site I would agree but not fab. I like to draw a line between fab and.my day to day life. I don't want friends and family to know I am on fab and would expect my meets to have a similar mindset "
I do wonder what people think of swingers all such secrets and hiding. It’s like the site is full of masked murders or something. Come on people don’t you think that everyone is in the same boat. 99% of people on here aren’t on here to find out your information to splash all over the place to out you. As for I keeping fab out of your day to day life do you have some magic power to give fab it’s own day in your life it is part of you your day to day life. Keeping it private yes but so does everyone else on here. Our names are our real names our face pics are public we’ve never had a issue. Had a couple of random friends request on Facebook but we’ve just ignored them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always give my real name, never needed to give the surname.
I live in southwakes so pretty much everyone knows everyone anyway so having a Fab name will bite you in the ass one day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm talking to randoms on here then I give no name, when we meet I'll give my name and if we're going to arrange to meet again we usually exchange kik and that's got my full name, hubby's is pretty much the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be careful
Especially with phone numbers as well
The power of google search
"
Not to mention email addresses. Facebook is especially good at matching your contacts and recommending the most unlikely friends!
Mr.R |
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My real first name isn't a huge secret and while I don't give out my surname as a matter of course when it's not needed, I have no objection disclosing it to regular meets I trust - after all surnames are going to come out sooner or later if you're checking into hotels together, or filling out forms on the door at a club. Obviously if my spidey senses were tingling for any untoward reason I wouldn't give it out but if that were the case I'd hardly be going to a hotel with them either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I tell my real first name, but never my surname
I use my middle name "
Thats a good idea, it would be easier to remember. At the moment I use my real name, but nobody has asked for my full name anyway, even on a social. During message exchanges I always sign off with my name anyway...live and be well... Annas Rammer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about?
If it was a conventional dating site I would agree but not fab. I like to draw a line between fab and.my day to day life. I don't want friends and family to know I am on fab and would expect my meets to have a similar mindset
I do wonder what people think of swingers all such secrets and hiding. It’s like the site is full of masked murders or something. Come on people don’t you think that everyone is in the same boat. 99% of people on here aren’t on here to find out your information to splash all over the place to out you. As for I keeping fab out of your day to day life do you have some magic power to give fab it’s own day in your life it is part of you your day to day life. Keeping it private yes but so does everyone else on here. Our names are our real names our face pics are public we’ve never had a issue. Had a couple of random friends request on Facebook but we’ve just ignored them. "
I'm sure you're not laughed at and talked about behind your backs by all the people in your village. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be careful
Especially with phone numbers as well
The power of google search
Not to mention email addresses. Facebook is especially good at matching your contacts and recommending the most unlikely friends!
Mr.R "
Interesting..we had a guy we met a few years ago come up on "people you may know" on Facebook. Couldn't think why as he lived 90 miles away. Then it clicked -we had given him our phone number and it was obviously linked to Facebook |
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
yes, and I have a very unusual name but i don't use any other social media, I don't use this site for casual meeting, anyone I've met from here I've taken a while to get to know and developed a relationship so that's a bit different I guess |
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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago
London |
I use a whole fake first and last name. Started off in the beginning that way and just stuck with it. Some people know my real name and switched over to using that, whereas others have just stuck to calling me as is to not confuse themselves.
I answer to both anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol! When Ads and I moved on to texting each other, he still only knew me by ‘ali’ anyway he tried to stalk me on Facebook and my number for some reason was attached to my sons account and he messaged to ask who is was (he knew I had kids why he didn’t put two and two together lol), I guess that but if ‘reality’ was a bit strange lol.
Geeky x |
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An interesting Debate for once on this forum ....however we always tell people our first name when we meet .....sometimes the surname may come out especially if you become friends as a lot of our swinging friends do and then the friendship expands to facebook.....ironically outside of fabs the word swing or swinging is never mentioned
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It would be nice to think that we could all be open about who we are, and what we get up to.
However, jobs, and other relationships (family and friends) can often be at risk.
And then there are those who would use any information to their advantage, exert leverage, or use it against you in a fit of pique if you turn them down, it has happened (not to us) that former friends and playmates have fallen out, and the resulting carnage can take ages to weather.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve told every meet my first name, but never my surname. I don’t give out my phone number except in exceptional circumstances either, as it is easy to find out too much about me with it these days. |
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We always give our real first names (they're on our profile anyway) and because of the website we run for our hobby, we're very easy to find, so people find it easily enough. We occasionally even give our business cards out! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always give our real first names (they're on our profile anyway) and because of the website we run for our hobby, we're very easy to find, so people find it easily enough. We occasionally even give our business cards out!"
I'm disappointed that your real name isn't Pud! |
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The only people that know my name are people that I consider friends. But most of them just call me my name from here anyway. I don't have my name on here or tell people I meet because just my first name would be easily found in social media. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
What's a meet?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No! I have no issues whatsoever as I seem to be able to get away with and say anything I like without repercussions...
Yours
Jacob Rees-Mogg"
And you told me you were cold George. ..lying fecker eh |
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By *exfordMan
over a year ago
discombobulated land |
"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
If that you Julie Shelton... You really are paranoid! |
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"I always tell the people I am speaking to and hoping to meet my real name. Starting off with a basic lie does not sit well with me, what else are they lying about? "
Same. I'm single and nothing to hide. Was meeting a guy for a year regularly and eventually swapped numbers. He came up on fb as someone u may know and wasn't called what I knew him as. As foxy says why else was he lying about. Ruined a good thing x |
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My website has my name and more and I've given it to a heap of people. My tongue piercing is almost as unique as my finger print anyway.
Lots of women don't use their real name on here but never had one keep to a fake name beyond a few messages anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think it matters i played around the settings on this site there is a option weather or not you can be found on search engines in privacy settings.
Also face pics are dangerous as they can copy and paste it onto google and can potentially pin point your facebook or other social media dont quote me im not that sad to try but i have heard about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never do -especially my surname, due to the power of Google and social media. Even with someone I have got to know over a period of time.
Am I alone in this?"
honesty is the best policy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think it matters i played around the settings on this site there is a option weather or not you can be found on search engines in privacy settings.
Also face pics are dangerous as they can copy and paste it onto google and can potentially pin point your facebook or other social media dont quote me im not that sad to try but i have heard about it. "
Yes but your real name can be searched for in other places like facebook..not everybody sets all their social media sites settings to private.. |
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We always use our real names, and we wouldn’t withhold our surname if we was asked on a meet, I understand that some people use fake names but if we are going to be intimate, then a real name is a good place to start. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always use my correct forename but never, ever give my surname, my phone number, or an email address (other than one that I only use for this purpose).
I give my location as where I like to meet, rather than my actual location and never invite anyone to my home (and that is why I also prefer a hotel)..
That is also why I find Kik is superior to WhatsApp as it has no link to my phone number.
You never know who you’re going to meet on here, so it is just good common sense personal security. I really would not want my ‘swinging’ activities to get tangled up with my personal, extended family, or business life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It often disturbs me slightly how little we know about our playmates. What if something awful happened with an anonymous person in a hotel, that required reporting that person to the police. If we don’t know who they are they can just disappear into thin air. Personally I feel so much more comfortable once I know who someone is. Both my husband and I play alone sometimes. We do prefer to tell each who we are with for safety reasons. If someone has a real name and identity they can then be traced.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It often disturbs me slightly how little we know about our playmates. What if something awful happened with an anonymous person in a hotel, that required reporting that person to the police. If we don’t know who they are they can just disappear into thin air. Personally I feel so much more comfortable once I know who someone is. Both my husband and I play alone sometimes. We do prefer to tell each who we are with for safety reasons. If someone has a real name and identity they can then be traced.
Mrs"
This is why I would never meet someone I didn’t get to know more first. Usually I only meet people I’ve been chatting to via WhatsApp for a bit. I like to build a friendship. I guess I’m not here just for quick hook ups but even if I was, I would still not feel safe knowing nothing but a first name. How stupid would I look if something dodgy happened and I couldn’t give any details to the police. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It often disturbs me slightly how little we know about our playmates. What if something awful happened with an anonymous person in a hotel, that required reporting that person to the police. If we don’t know who they are they can just disappear into thin air. Personally I feel so much more comfortable once I know who someone is. Both my husband and I play alone sometimes. We do prefer to tell each who we are with for safety reasons. If someone has a real name and identity they can then be traced.
Mrs
This is why I would never meet someone I didn’t get to know more first. Usually I only meet people I’ve been chatting to via WhatsApp for a bit. I like to build a friendship. I guess I’m not here just for quick hook ups but even if I was, I would still not feel safe knowing nothing but a first name. How stupid would I look if something dodgy happened and I couldn’t give any details to the police. "
Very sensible. I know people’s privacy is important, but if a guy I had got to know refused to tell me his full name, I think I’d be a bit scared. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tried to give a false name on my first meet but failed within about 20 minutes. Our surname is tattooed on my bottom so it is hard to hide on a meet. We appreciate that it could be considered a risk but so far have not had any problems.
It’s a shame that the stigma that is attached to swinging means that people feel they have to be dishonest but I completely understand why people feel it’s necessary. |
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