FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why is the disproportion?
Why is the disproportion?
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Just wondering, why is it so disproportionate in here, between the number of men to the number of females on the site?
Surely the numbers are more or less equal outside the site, what does that say about us men! Are we more relaxed, daring, highly sexed, or easier for men to separate just having sex without getting emotionally involved?
Do women feel joining the site will shed shadowy light on them?
I'm really interested to here others views about it, I don't know the answer just like to understand. |
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Sadly, society in general still tends to look down on women who enjoy sex but don't want a relationship.
This means many women might choose to join a dating site instead for the same result.
Just a guess as I'm not single.
Nita |
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"Sadly, society in general still tends to look down on women who enjoy sex but don't want a relationship.
This means many women might choose to join a dating site instead for the same result.
Just a guess as I'm not single.
Nita"
I think you may have a point there  |
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It's just not socially acceptable for women to be here. It's sort of expected for men to want to have sex but not women. I'm on the mainstream dating sites and have discussed being on there with friends, I sounded out a friend about the possibility of joining a site which was about finding sex - she was disgusted! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering, why is it so disproportionate in here, between the number of men to the number of females on the site?
Surely the numbers are more or less equal outside the site, what does that say about us men! Are we more relaxed, daring, highly sexed, or easier for men to separate just having sex without getting emotionally involved?
Do women feel joining the site will shed shadowy light on them?
I'm really interested to here others views about it, I don't know the answer just like to understand."
I could send you an interesting written thesis on this! Basically, for exactly the same reason that you get thousands of male flashers (nationally) - and very few (if any) female flashers in the woods etc.
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"Just wondering, why is it so disproportionate in here, between the number of men to the number of females on the site?
Surely the numbers are more or less equal outside the site, what does that say about us men! Are we more relaxed, daring, highly sexed, or easier for men to separate just having sex without getting emotionally involved?
Do women feel joining the site will shed shadowy light on them?
I'm really interested to here others views about it, I don't know the answer just like to understand.
I could send you an interesting written thesis on this! Basically, for exactly the same reason that you get thousands of male flashers (nationally) - and very few (if any) female flashers in the woods etc.
"
Please do, I'd like to read it, thanks.
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"Sadly, society in general still tends to look down on women who enjoy sex but don't want a relationship.
This means many women might choose to join a dating site instead for the same result.
Just a guess as I'm not single.
Nita"
I'd agree with your view. It's not socially acceptable for couples either and many people still believe it's the man persuading his partner to swing or that swinging is a patch to prevent infidelity.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly, society in general still tends to look down on women who enjoy sex but don't want a relationship.
This means many women might choose to join a dating site instead for the same result.
Just a guess as I'm not single.
Nita"
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Society is still such that as the majority burden of childcare falls to women, they are less available to pursue hobbies. This allows men to play away/gym/sports/other pursuits more readily
Not being deliberately contraversial, just providing a possible theory to the disparity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because men naturally have a higher sex drive and a need for regular sex. It’s in our genes. I’m not saying women don’t also have the same desires - but it’s different |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because men naturally have a higher sex drive and a need for regular sex. It’s in our genes. I’m not saying women don’t also have the same desires - but it’s different "
Why is it different? |
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"Sadly, society in general still tends to look down on women who enjoy sex but don't want a relationship.
This means many women might choose to join a dating site instead for the same result.
Just a guess as I'm not single.
Nita
I'd agree with your view. It's not socially acceptable for couples either and many people still believe it's the man persuading his partner to swing or that swinging is a patch to prevent infidelity.
"
It is strange how many seem to think this.
Another common misconception, is that couples swing to try to save a failing marriage.
In actual fact, the majority of couples tend to have solid relationships with good sex. In our experience anyway.
Nita |
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TBH I don’t think fab/swinging is as discussed amongst group of women as it is with groups of men!
Many of the young guys I’ve met were recommended the site by their peers/friends - whereas I’d never heard of fab and didn’t know what swinging was about until a guy from a mainstream dating site told me about Fab!
If more single, horny women with no social life knew about the clubs, socials, friendships and great sex available on fab - I think the numbers would be far more even! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our observation is these days Fabs is 30% swingers and then 70% others who are just using it like Tinder to find an NSA or FWB shag. If you are using online dating then you will be on several sites and this just seems to be one of them. |
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Basically because loads of men like casual sex and very few women do. The same reason why there are a huge number of female prostitutes who service men and very few male prostitutes who service women.
Why that is is a combination of social and biological factors which probably have their routes in the fact that men can literally fuck a woman and bugger off without consequences, whereas women might literally be left holding the baby.
With effective contraception fur women, the biological position is transformed, so one is seeing women becoming more open to casual sex, but it will be a long time before they view it in the same way as men. |
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By *av_55Man
over a year ago
NE |
For what’s its worth, and opinions are like arse holes,,, every one has one ,, from my 15 Years escorting then swinging I find woman are less likely to cheet as men , hence loads men married or in relationships here for extra fun,  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering, why is it so disproportionate in here, between the number of men to the number of females on the site?
Surely the numbers are more or less equal outside the site, what does that say about us men! Are we more relaxed, daring, highly sexed, or easier for men to separate just having sex without getting emotionally involved?
Do women feel joining the site will shed shadowy light on them?
I'm really interested to here others views about it, I don't know the answer just like to understand."
men are more demonstrative of their need for sex women need it as much just are a little more reserved about showing it  |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this. |
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this."
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't."
entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't "
they |
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't "
I don't think they expect specific women to but I feel that in general they feel they're entitled to sex. I base this on the threads started by men who can't understand why a woman won't meet them even though they have the same interests on their profile, the guys who claim to be in sexless marriages who cite that as their reason for being here, the men who join imagining women will meet them just because they joined.
I should have been more specific and said "in general the men who join this site" I don't think all men are like it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see sites like this rather like one big nightclub. When I was a young man I would go to a club to pull, d*unk and a kebab on way home if not.
Groups of females would go to the same nightclubs to have a dance and a laugh with their mates. If they pulled it was all a bit discreet unlike us men. Who would be proud of the fact and brag to our mates the next day.
That's how the nightclub scene worked when I was a lad not a clue about it these days.
Men are competitive always will be and if they can get extra sex on sites like this, lots will join if attached or not.
I know lots of females and I don't know one who would confess to joining a sex site. I know quite a few males who have and they're not single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this."
I think that's correct. The entitlement bit is true but to a lesser extent. Women and men are biologically mentally physically emotionally different.
No wonder we might be different sexually too!?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't
I don't think they expect specific women to but I feel that in general they feel they're entitled to sex. I base this on the threads started by men who can't understand why a woman won't meet them even though they have the same interests on their profile, the guys who claim to be in sexless marriages who cite that as their reason for being here, the men who join imagining women will meet them just because they joined.
I should have been more specific and said "in general the men who join this site" I don't think all men are like it "
but the chat rooms are a small percentage of the sites membership and therefore not representative |
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't
I don't think they expect specific women to but I feel that in general they feel they're entitled to sex. I base this on the threads started by men who can't understand why a woman won't meet them even though they have the same interests on their profile, the guys who claim to be in sexless marriages who cite that as their reason for being here, the men who join imagining women will meet them just because they joined.
I should have been more specific and said "in general the men who join this site" I don't think all men are like it but the chat rooms are a small percentage of the sites membership and therefore not representative "
You're right. I'm also basing it on some of the messages we receive and life experience.
Just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't
I don't think they expect specific women to but I feel that in general they feel they're entitled to sex. I base this on the threads started by men who can't understand why a woman won't meet them even though they have the same interests on their profile, the guys who claim to be in sexless marriages who cite that as their reason for being here, the men who join imagining women will meet them just because they joined.
I should have been more specific and said "in general the men who join this site" I don't think all men are like it but the chat rooms are a small percentage of the sites membership and therefore not representative
You're right. I'm also basing it on some of the messages we receive and life experience.
Just my opinion "
its all our own opinion but I get where you're coming from |
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't
I don't think they expect specific women to but I feel that in general they feel they're entitled to sex. I base this on the threads started by men who can't understand why a woman won't meet them even though they have the same interests on their profile, the guys who claim to be in sexless marriages who cite that as their reason for being here, the men who join imagining women will meet them just because they joined.
I should have been more specific and said "in general the men who join this site" I don't think all men are like it but the chat rooms are a small percentage of the sites membership and therefore not representative
You're right. I'm also basing it on some of the messages we receive and life experience.
Just my opinion its all our own opinion but I get where you're coming from "
Yep but you'd be amazed at how many people find discussion like this difficult because they find another person holding a different opinion is a personal insult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women are judged for being on here, by people who are on here as much as people that have never even seen the sight. Men have double standards when it comes to women who want sex as much as they do. I couldn't care less what people think about me so I do what I like, but that is not the case for alot of ladies. I have a friend that thinks I am crazy for being on here and looking for sex, but she is quite happy to go out, get d*unk and pick someone up to take home, she doesn't see that as the same and lies to herself about how often it happens. Then you have the guys on here all too happy to fuck you but would never consider anything more with you because you are on here, wtf is that about? I have seen some talk like, because you are on here having multiple sexual partners while being single it must mean that you can't stay faithful in a monogamous relationship. I would stear clear of these guys anyway because it says too much about them that I don't like, but, to assume that kind of rubbish just because someone has a high sex drive is mental! But opinions can be changed, if you had told me 3 years ago that I would be on here I woulda told you that you were off your head, so ya know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women are judged for being on here, by people who are on here as much as people that have never even seen the sight. Men have double standards when it comes to women who want sex as much as they do. I couldn't care less what people think about me so I do what I like, but that is not the case for alot of ladies. I have a friend that thinks I am crazy for being on here and looking for sex, but she is quite happy to go out, get d*unk and pick someone up to take home, she doesn't see that as the same and lies to herself about how often it happens. Then you have the guys on here all too happy to fuck you but would never consider anything more with you because you are on here, wtf is that about? I have seen some talk like, because you are on here having multiple sexual partners while being single it must mean that you can't stay faithful in a monogamous relationship. I would stear clear of these guys anyway because it says too much about them that I don't like, but, to assume that kind of rubbish just because someone has a high sex drive is mental! But opinions can be changed, if you had told me 3 years ago that I would be on here I woulda told you that you were off your head, so ya know "
Funny enough, I had this get conversation (or close enough) with a lad at work yesterday.
He was saying that if he met a girl out, and she went home with him that evening, he wouldn't see her again, because she's a slag!? He was happy to admit that it was a double standard, but didn't care... It's sad to see that the world hasn't moved on any in the last 20 years.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny enough, I had this very conversation (or close enough) with a lad at work yesterday.
He was saying that if he met a girl out, and she went home with him that evening, he wouldn't see her again, because she's a slag!? He was happy to admit that it was a double standard, but didn't care... It's sad to see that the world hasn't moved on any in the last 20 years. "
Typo amended.  |
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By *iss SJWoman
over a year ago
Hull |
I was thinking it was similar to the reason why you don’t get many male prostitutes who only have straight sex. I’ve never looked for one so not sure how many there are. I am assuming there are more now a days than there used to be but still not as many as there are females or males who also have male clients. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the main reason is biological, and we have to look at the animal kingdom to understand why male and female genders are wired up differently with regards to sex.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.entitlement is not the way to describe it that suggests the expect a woman to provide sex and we don't
I don't think they expect specific women to but I feel that in general they feel they're entitled to sex. I base this on the threads started by men who can't understand why a woman won't meet them even though they have the same interests on their profile, the guys who claim to be in sexless marriages who cite that as their reason for being here, the men who join imagining women will meet them just because they joined.
I should have been more specific and said "in general the men who join this site" I don't think all men are like it but the chat rooms are a small percentage of the sites membership and therefore not representative
You're right. I'm also basing it on some of the messages we receive and life experience.
Just my opinion its all our own opinion but I get where you're coming from
Yep but you'd be amazed at how many people find discussion like this difficult because they find another person holding a different opinion is a personal insult "
oh I know that only too well to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the main reason is biological, and we have to look at the animal kingdom to understand why male and female genders are wired up differently with regards to sex.
Mrs"
the animal kingdom lol so we haven't developed we're still neanderthal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the main reason is biological, and we have to look at the animal kingdom to understand why male and female genders are wired up differently with regards to sex.
Mrsthe animal kingdom lol so we haven't developed we're still neanderthal "
We have developed socially, but often biological instincts remain relatively unchanged. |
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Thanks to all the ones who shared their thoughts about the subject. I still don't have a clear cut answer, and I don't think there is specific one anyway, but I can say I have a better understanding to this phenomenon, it became clearer from what have been mentioned it could be more than one factor causing it.
Some of the thoughts shared I didn't think of at all, for example the gentleman who said "call it testosterone, simple" now that is a very valid point because it does govern our sex drive and does affect ones confidence, it could be as simple as that! (Since men produce 10 times more testosterone than women, which correlate with the number of male profiles to female profiles by the way)
As for the fact of society still looks down on women indulge in this way of life, I do agree with that, but that may be the case outside the site, surly most people on the site not as judgmental as others not into this way of life, if there are some like that then they're just hypocrites, and we do need to challenge this way of thinking and make women feel more safe and welcomed to enjoy sex without being judged.
Thanks again and do share your thoughts if you have more to say. |
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By *UCKY_13Couple
over a year ago
southwest |
"It's just not socially acceptable for women to be here. It's sort of expected for men to want to have sex but not women. I'm on the mainstream dating sites and have discussed being on there with friends, I sounded out a friend about the possibility of joining a site which was about finding sex - she was disgusted!"
I hate this I love sex and am not ashamed to say it to anyone it shouldn’t be a stigma that a woman loves having different sexual partners the same as a guy does for whatever reason they choose to xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know women who love sex and aren't afraid to say it because of social stigma I know women who love sex and are discreet about it ,I know women who don't like sex and same applies to men ,the main reason their are more men I think is because most men don't correlate a mental connection to the act of sex,many women require a connection in the swinging world women as part of a swinging couple have the connection with their partner and fewer single women who swing could have sex without any connection with the man they copulate with so on that basis I guess that's why less women to men are here .I as a man require not only physical attraction but a mental connection to and I think this has developed over the years of being in this life ,still having said that very horny sex can still be achieved with relative strangers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because men on the whole are cheating scumbags who can't keep it in their pants and any women that feel the urge to put it about are deterred by the creep/psycho demographic. |
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"Sadly, society in general still tends to look down on women who enjoy sex but don't want a relationship.
This means many women might choose to join a dating site instead for the same result.
Just a guess as I'm not single.
Nita"
I think perhaps by 'society' you mean other women. I can't see many blokes complaining! |
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"More married men play away?..... just a thought "
Mathematically impossible!
This is a thread about men and women, so sticking to heterosexual relationships...
Every 'coupling' must involve one man and one woman. If the numbers of men and women in the general population are equal, so must be the 'cheating' |
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"TBH I don’t think fab/swinging is as discussed amongst group of women as it is with groups of men!
Many of the young guys I’ve met were recommended the site by their peers/friends - whereas I’d never heard of fab and didn’t know what swinging was about until a guy from a mainstream dating site told me about Fab!
If more single, horny women with no social life knew about the clubs, socials, friendships and great sex available on fab - I think the numbers would be far more even! "
Seriously??!
If you were a young guy struggling with the huge disparity in numbers of men and women and failing to meet people, would you tell your mates to sign up and make it even more difficult?
Girls however, well, it's clear it's a doddle and you can just cream off your pick of the guys without sending a message or leaving your sofa, of course you'd pass on the good news
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"Basically because loads of men like casual sex and very few women do. The same reason why there are a huge number of female prostitutes who service men and very few male prostitutes who service women.
Why that is is a combination of social and biological factors which probably have their routes in the fact that men can literally fuck a woman and bugger off without consequences, whereas women might literally be left holding the baby.
With effective contraception fur women, the biological position is transformed, so one is seeing women becoming more open to casual sex, but it will be a long time before they view it in the same way as men. "
As a guy I think it's fear of being left with a fear of never holding your baby or never seeing your house again that terrifies blokes. Women will find the law treats them as favourably as this website in that situation.
No, never married. No kids.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering, why is it so disproportionate in here, between the number of men to the number of females on the site?
Surely the numbers are more or less equal outside the site, what does that say about us men! Are we more relaxed, daring, highly sexed, or easier for men to separate just having sex without getting emotionally involved?
Do women feel joining the site will shed shadowy light on them?
I'm really interested to here others views about it, I don't know the answer just like to understand."
Most of my female friends have no interest in sex XXX |
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By *itnkatCouple
over a year ago
in lincs between lincoln grantham boston |
While the lady is reading bedtime story's getting kids ready for school arranging trips and cleaning up after every one hubby is on Fab pretending he is young free good looking and single just a point runs n hides now |
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't."
On this website however it's the women who come across as entitled. Check out all the 'don't even think of contacting me unless...' As evidence. The forum, and threads like this, would give the impression that the blokes should feel lucky to get a sniff. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is published evidence out there showing how man tend to think about sex in a different context to women. This may explain why fewer women seek the sort of encounter that men do on a site like this.
I do think that in general men feel an entitlement to sex that women often don't.
On this website however it's the women who come across as entitled. Check out all the 'don't even think of contacting me unless...' As evidence. The forum, and threads like this, would give the impression that the blokes should feel lucky to get a sniff. "
Really ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our observation is these days Fabs is 30% swingers and then 70% others who are just using it like Tinder to find an NSA or FWB shag. If you are using online dating then you will be on several sites and this just seems to be one of them."
SO, so spot on!
Among single men on here I would go as far as saying 10%, or even less, are genuine Swingers. The rest are just overflow from Dating sites, PoF and Match added to the above list of them.
Some of us have been here long enough to remember when this used to be a site for Swingers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh gawd... I've run out of Popcorn as well.
Oh well, I'll sit back with a coffee and a Blue Riband and enjoy the forthcoming debate.  "
Seen this film before I’ll give it a miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More men thinking they can get an easy fuck. Women, I believe, want more and wouldn't look for it on a site aimed at finding sex. "
Oh my God!
OMG!
With the above, I've only JUST realised that I am a man!
OMG, my whole life I'd thought I was a woman, thank you for enlightening me!
I am a man!
Now, where are my easy fucks then... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our observation is these days Fabs is 30% swingers and then 70% others who are just using it like Tinder to find an NSA or FWB shag. If you are using online dating then you will be on several sites and this just seems to be one of them.
SO, so spot on!
Among single men on here I would go as far as saying 10%, or even less, are genuine Swingers. The rest are just overflow from Dating sites, PoF and Match added to the above list of them.
Some of us have been here long enough to remember when this used to be a site for Swingers."
what's a swinger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably because women can find sex easily....if I walked into a bar I would have to work hard to get some female interest...Flik could walk into the same bar and pull in seconds."
Correction - women can find sex easily if they're not fussy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because men naturally have a higher sex drive and a need for regular sex. It’s in our genes. I’m not saying women don’t also have the same desires - but it’s different "
I think you’ll find women have the same desires but are able to carry on with everyday life (self control) without focusing on it....unlike men who (appear) want to get their cock out at the sight of a chilled chickens arse |
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