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What do unicorns look for from a couple?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Two part question
We’re really excited about our upcoming first night with a single bi female, aka a “unicorn”
They’re incredibly elusive.
1. What helps make a couple an attractive prospect for a unicorn (in terms of approach etc, obviously a given that she needs to find you both attractive)
2. How to make sure the experience is really positive for her and that the dynamic works.
Essentially what’s the trick to making it work? |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
Wouldn’t necessarily say there is a trick. Be friendly and chatty. The female will want to know that both parties of the couple want to play, so both souls be participating in the chat. So often we get offers from just the male half, which will turn most away.
Be open and honest about what you are looking for. Maybe offer a social first, see if you all connect. Just be yourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wouldn’t necessarily say there is a trick. Be friendly and chatty. The female will want to know that both parties of the couple want to play, so both souls be participating in the chat. So often we get offers from just the male half, which will turn most away.
Be open and honest about what you are looking for. Maybe offer a social first, see if you all connect. Just be yourselves. "
Thanks for this. And any guidance on maximising pleasure for her during the dynamic ? |
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"Wouldn’t necessarily say there is a trick. Be friendly and chatty. The female will want to know that both parties of the couple want to play, so both souls be participating in the chat. So often we get offers from just the male half, which will turn most away.
Be open and honest about what you are looking for. Maybe offer a social first, see if you all connect. Just be yourselves.
Thanks for this. And any guidance on maximising pleasure for her during the dynamic ? "
Ask her! She will have expectations about play and everyone is different. I like to play a certain way. If a couple is not into that then it will never work.
Don't bring drama to the occassion. If you are not a rock solid couple people pick up on it. You both need to be wanting to do this. Too many couples are driven by the man, with the partner as an after thought. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Agreed. I imagine that can be very uncomfortable to get the feeling that one part of the couple wasn’t enthusiastic. Definitely not the case with us but good advice.
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
The ‘tricks’ are:
1) Mutual 3-way attraction and sexual preferences - not easy
2) Mutual sense you are a genuine and respectful people
3) Mutually convenient geography
4) Mutualy convenient calendars
If you can manage those four tricks, you’re golden! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The ‘tricks’ are:
1) Mutual 3-way attraction and sexual preferences - not easy
2) Mutual sense you are a genuine and respectful people
3) Mutually convenient geography
4) Mutualy convenient calendars
If you can manage those four tricks, you’re golden!"
Wow you got it down to a formula
We think all 4 align so we could be on to a winner. Smoking hot pics btw.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn’t necessarily say there is a trick. Be friendly and chatty. The female will want to know that both parties of the couple want to play, so both souls be participating in the chat. So often we get offers from just the male half, which will turn most away.
Be open and honest about what you are looking for. Maybe offer a social first, see if you all connect. Just be yourselves.
Thanks for this. And any guidance on maximising pleasure for her during the dynamic ?
Ask her! She will have expectations about play and everyone is different. I like to play a certain way. If a couple is not into that then it will never work.
Don't bring drama to the occassion. If you are not a rock solid couple people pick up on it. You both need to be wanting to do this. Too many couples are driven by the man, with the partner as an after thought."
Definitely agree with the couple both being up for it...so many times it's all about the man. What he wants, the woman just seems to be going along with it. It's so easy to pick up on...also the man can become so obsessed with the idea that he becomes demanding.. Just pleased they do it in a message not when we've met....! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Obviously everyone has boundaries but I find it offputting when the couple set rules such as "the ladies must play together first" or "I can fuck my husband but you can't, just watch us""
Yes! Or you can kiss me, but not him.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say both people from the couple need to chat with the lady online, get to know each other. Swap face pics early, as there may be no attraction. Don't look for someone who is miles and miles away as what if you or her travelled for hours only to discover there's no chemistry when you meet in person?
Respect her wishes, don't try and force things. Also, during the meet, I find communication very important. I am quite good at reading body language, but I also always say to people I meet that if they are, at any point, uncomfortable about what I'm doing, just let me know. Maybe something like a 'safe word' between the couple might be good? So they can communicate between each other without necessarily discussing it in front of the lady they've met that something's not right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Forgive the length of this but I read a really good article via Twitter, where the following was said from the unicorn's perspective. The fact you're thinking about what she wants is a really good sign. I'm tempted to copy it verbatim onto my single profile:
* I am a person.
I’m not a prop or an object or a sex toy. I’m not a porn star or a fictitious sex driven fantasy woman. I’m aware that you’re contacting me for a specific reason, but that’s not the only reason I exist. If you’re contacting me online, choose your words mindfully. An introductory email about “cumming all over that sexy body” or “laying the pipe down” does not make me want to drop everything to meet you. Try an intelligent respectful introduction with some reference to what you read in my profile instead. If you meet me in person at a club or party, treat me the way you’d treat anyone you’re meeting in public for the first time.
* I have my own fantasies too.
If you’re part of a couple and you’re contacting me, you probably have an idea of what you’d like to experience when you add another woman. Keep in mind that even though the two of you know what you want, the only way I’m going to be willing to participate is if I can get what I want too. Ask me about my fantasies. Pay attention when I tell you what I am looking for and what I enjoy. Too often, couples want to center the experience around the two of them entirely. If your fantasy makes me the source of your pleasure without allowing me to be pleasured as well, I’m not interested.
* I’m not your experiment.
If you’re new to the lifestyle and we have good chemistry, your lack of experience won’t matter at all. However, you might be a couple with far too many rules. You might be a couple that wants things go exactly according to your plan because you (understandably) want to be as comfortable as possible. If you need to move slowly, I respect that. If one of you isn’t sure they’re ready, I totally respect that BUT I’m not going to play with you. I don’t want to go home sexually frustrated. I don’t want to be a source of tension if things go “too far” and I don’t want to waste my precious time or yours. If you want to lightly test the waters, find someone who is also new to this. Try a party or club and see if you can meet someone who is up for some flirting and light play.
* I’m not your teacher.
Do you want me to guide you through your first threesome? Are you looking for someone to “help” a wife or girlfriend try her first bisexual experience? I have a few important questions: What’s in it for me? Why would I want to turn my playtime into a tutoring session? What if one of you is not a good “student”? I’d rather not set myself up for disappointment.
* I have a life of my own
If we do meet and have a great time, please remember that I have a life outside of being your play partner. I am so much more than a unicorn. My career, my family, my friends, and my own goals and needs are important to me. Respect my priorities. If you’re the type who takes it personally if I don’t respond to your messages and photos immediately, we aren’t compatible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forgive the length of this but I read a really good article via Twitter, where the following was said from the unicorn's perspective. The fact you're thinking about what she wants is a really good sign. I'm tempted to copy it verbatim onto my single profile:
* I am a person.
I’m not a prop or an object or a sex toy. I’m not a porn star or a fictitious sex driven fantasy woman. I’m aware that you’re contacting me for a specific reason, but that’s not the only reason I exist. If you’re contacting me online, choose your words mindfully. An introductory email about “cumming all over that sexy body” or “laying the pipe down” does not make me want to drop everything to meet you. Try an intelligent respectful introduction with some reference to what you read in my profile instead. If you meet me in person at a club or party, treat me the way you’d treat anyone you’re meeting in public for the first time.
* I have my own fantasies too.
If you’re part of a couple and you’re contacting me, you probably have an idea of what you’d like to experience when you add another woman. Keep in mind that even though the two of you know what you want, the only way I’m going to be willing to participate is if I can get what I want too. Ask me about my fantasies. Pay attention when I tell you what I am looking for and what I enjoy. Too often, couples want to center the experience around the two of them entirely. If your fantasy makes me the source of your pleasure without allowing me to be pleasured as well, I’m not interested.
* I’m not your experiment.
If you’re new to the lifestyle and we have good chemistry, your lack of experience won’t matter at all. However, you might be a couple with far too many rules. You might be a couple that wants things go exactly according to your plan because you (understandably) want to be as comfortable as possible. If you need to move slowly, I respect that. If one of you isn’t sure they’re ready, I totally respect that BUT I’m not going to play with you. I don’t want to go home sexually frustrated. I don’t want to be a source of tension if things go “too far” and I don’t want to waste my precious time or yours. If you want to lightly test the waters, find someone who is also new to this. Try a party or club and see if you can meet someone who is up for some flirting and light play.
* I’m not your teacher.
Do you want me to guide you through your first threesome? Are you looking for someone to “help” a wife or girlfriend try her first bisexual experience? I have a few important questions: What’s in it for me? Why would I want to turn my playtime into a tutoring session? What if one of you is not a good “student”? I’d rather not set myself up for disappointment.
* I have a life of my own
If we do meet and have a great time, please remember that I have a life outside of being your play partner. I am so much more than a unicorn. My career, my family, my friends, and my own goals and needs are important to me. Respect my priorities. If you’re the type who takes it personally if I don’t respond to your messages and photos immediately, we aren’t compatible."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ya well we use the term unicorn as it’s the commonly used jargon. We don’t find it in the derogatory.
Words are tools, we use the ones that work in the arena in which they work.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn’t necessarily say there is a trick. Be friendly and chatty. The female will want to know that both parties of the couple want to play, so both souls be participating in the chat. So often we get offers from just the male half, which will turn most away.
Be open and honest about what you are looking for. Maybe offer a social first, see if you all connect. Just be yourselves.
Thanks for this. And any guidance on maximising pleasure for her during the dynamic ? "
Surely you should be asking her how you can maximise her pleasure? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A 3 way attraction.....both physically and mentally!
Patience!!
A genuine couple not “fuckbuddys”
And for me feeling like it’s as much the women’s idea as the make half. She has to be bisexual not curious! I’m not an experiment.
S x |
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By *eadyforachangeWoman
over a year ago
Second star to the right, and straight on till morning. |
Don't think there is a specific trick to making it work and for me the couple have to have fully talked about what they want, what they don't want and any expectations they have before even sending the first message.
It's very easy to pick up on people who don't do that and don't fully respect each other.
The female of a couple calls the shots for me and I make sure it's equal shares to both if that makes sense.
No magic other than getting a spark between all three and when that happens it's darn good fun. x |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"The ‘tricks’ are:
1) Mutual 3-way attraction and sexual preferences - not easy
2) Mutual sense you are a genuine and respectful people
3) Mutually convenient geography
4) Mutualy convenient calendars
If you can manage those four tricks, you’re golden!
Wow you got it down to a formula
We think all 4 align so we could be on to a winner. Smoking hot pics btw.
"
Thanks, you have great pics too!
Being realistic the above four are an awful lot of mutually happy coincidences to occur before it’s realistic anything might happen, so it’s understandable why single fems find it difficult to meet the right couples and couples find it difficult to meet the right single fems. |
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