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Coming out
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get? |
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By *uardiansCouple
over a year ago
Isle of Wight |
"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?"
I was with someone for years and kept the bi side locked away. Split up for other reasons and then met rocket and she is so into me being with other guys. It's like a dream come true.
It may be hard for you at the moment but hang in there and you'll find someone that understands. |
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Could having a single guy profile for over a year have had something to do with the breakup too?
It's a lot to take in for some people, especially if they're less open minded than others. I guess it's better to be true to yourself than living a lie.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?
I was with someone for years and kept the bi side locked away. Split up for other reasons and then met rocket and she is so into me being with other guys. It's like a dream come true.
It may be hard for you at the moment but hang in there and you'll find someone that understands."
Its such a relief to be honest! |
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi."
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi."
No, its deeper than that, there are trust issues becausecof my trying to hide sexuality.
She is also not into the idea of me being bi. |
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that. "
Pretty much this.  |
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
No, its deeper than that, there are trust issues becausecof my trying to hide sexuality.
She is also not into the idea of me being bi."
does she know you have been seeing other people |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
No, its deeper than that, there are trust issues becausecof my trying to hide sexuality.
She is also not into the idea of me being bi.
does she know you have been seeing other people"
Thats just it..I havent, I have been trying to though.
Dont get me wrong, I am not moaning..its better for her too, just so relieved its over.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger |
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"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger "
He's not verified. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified. "
He's got a green tick, just chooses not to show veris or the summary. |
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"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified. "
Yes he is. |
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"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is. "
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is.
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself? "
The flag is for photo verified.
|
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"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is.
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself?
The flag is for photo verified.
"
Yes. Where's the evidence he's met anyone? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is.
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself?
The flag is for photo verified.
Yes. Where's the evidence he's met anyone? "
The fact he has the green tick means he's meet or cam verified the fact he's hidden the veris or the summary means he is hiding something |
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"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is.
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself?
The flag is for photo verified.
Yes. Where's the evidence he's met anyone?
The fact he has the green tick means he's meet or cam verified the fact he's hidden the veris or the summary means he is hiding something "
Got it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is.
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself?
The flag is for photo verified.
Yes. Where's the evidence he's met anyone? "
I never said he'd met anyone I said he was verified, which is an indicator that he has met but could be a webcam veri who knows, either way he's been doing something behind his wife's back and that's never good for building or maintaining trust. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Opned a can of worms!
Yes I have been on here a long time, yes I have met guys in that time..
Yes I do feel a bastard and a coward, I knew she wouldnt accept my bi side and its that which caused or is causing a split...not sure if I have been verfied or not...
I was really asking whether anyones partner had actually accepted their partner was bisexual..or gay..or different really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Opned a can of worms!
Yes I have been on here a long time, yes I have met guys in that time..
Yes I do feel a bastard and a coward, I knew she wouldnt accept my bi side and its that which caused or is causing a split...not sure if I have been verfied or not...
I was really asking whether anyones partner had actually accepted their partner was bisexual..or gay..or different really"
After 20 years together I eventually told Mrs marmite that I often fantasized about being with another male... she accepted it, and said she kinda knew for a long time anyway.
Now she's seen me suck a cock, and also helped out with another one too.
We are both Happy, she's even thought about experimenting herself recently |
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"You've been on here over a year and you're verified no wonder there are trust issues, she would probably have had the same reaction if you were here and straight.
I had a friend that was married for over 20 years, two children and her husband came out as bi, it wasn't the fact that he was bi, it was the fact that he kept such a big part of him secret for so long that did the damage. They did split as he wanted to pursue relationships with men.
Ginger
He's not verified.
Yes he is.
Doesn't that green tick just mean he photo verified himself?
The flag is for photo verified.
Yes. Where's the evidence he's met anyone?
The fact he has the green tick means he's meet or cam verified the fact he's hidden the veris or the summary means he is hiding something
Got it! "
thank Christ  |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
I’m bi but I have been out since I was fifteen - every partner has known about it.
However I have seen others coming out the bi or kink closet to partners and never really understood the reaction. When people hide something it is usually through denial and fear, not a desire to betray you, and I can’t imagine the courage it would take to finally admit to whatever it is that you’ve been hiding.
For me, the best response would be acceptance and a desire to learn more.
I’m sorry that she doesn’t feel that way but she may just need time to deal with it and if you are both relieved by the separation it may be fir the best.
And now you have the awesome time in your life to explore and celebrate yourself without needing to hide. Congratulations  |
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By *van ArdenMan
over a year ago
Coleford, Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire. |
I thought I'd add my threepenny worth to the thread.
I have been married for 43 years and have kids and grandkids and I love them all to bits. I became more 'active' as a bi man about 16 years ago when a guy tried to pick me up. I was so shocked and basically told the man to go and f**k himself.
As time went by the opportunity to meet other men increased and I began to enjoy the company of other men. My wife became suspicious after a while as I'd arrive home from work late. It caused alot of conflict within my family at that time and I began to harbour feelings of guilt which were hard to live with.
My wife realises that I have those feelings that will never go away and I think she has come to accept the way I am.
Over recent years I have me lots of men and it has to be said mainly married men some of whom I meet regularly and regard as good friends. I have never openly paraded my bi feelings in front of my wife and as I have the deepest of feelings for her I never will.
I am always very discrete and I enjoy a healthy sex life with her.
My wife is very understanding and knows that there are feelings I have that I can't subdue.
The alternative is to go our separate ways and break up our family which is something neither of us wants to contemplate.
I am not one to offer advice to other men but I would only say that if a man is married and happens to be bisexual it is best to be open with your family.
I appreciate that this won't always work with all married men but until you talk these things through with your wife and family you risk eating yourself up inside with guilt and guilt can be very destructive.
I hope this is of help to you guys out there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that. "
Being straight means you fancy other people too. Straight people fancy the opposite sex, bi people fancy both sexes. What I don’t understand is people using being bi as an excuse for cheating. Just coz you fancy both does that mean you’re entitled to both if you’ve committed yourself to someone else? I’d say no you still have to stay faithful regardless of which sex(es) you fancy. |
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"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?"
I think my husband was expecting a bad reaction when he told me he had been with a guy before we got together. I like it when we have a mmf threesome as no one is left not having fun. There I something hot about seeing him with cock in his mouth. |
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M told me quite soon into our relationship that he was bi, he hadn't told previous girlfriends. I was proud of him for telling me especially when he never knew what my reaction would be & I imagine it's a really daunting for a guy as it's not as well accepted. I'm really open minded and just glad he can be himself with me, I actively encourage him to explore his bi side and on the plus side it's a huge turn on for me Mrs |
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"Opned a can of worms!
Yes I have been on here a long time, yes I have met guys in that time..
Yes I do feel a bastard and a coward, I knew she wouldnt accept my bi side and its that which caused or is causing a split...not sure if I have been verfied or not...
I was really asking whether anyones partner had actually accepted their partner was bisexual..or gay..or different really"
I was in hospital giving birth to my daughter 27years ago when I found out my husband was gay didn't want to b gay he said. Altho we r good friends now and has a brilliant relaitionship with his kids thanks he says to me; at the time I was humiliated, angry, and a lot of other feelings in between. It's def affected the way I trust ( or dont) men and I wd say prob ruined any chance I had of having a proper relaitionship x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Opned a can of worms!
Yes I have been on here a long time, yes I have met guys in that time..
Yes I do feel a bastard and a coward, I knew she wouldnt accept my bi side and its that which caused or is causing a split...not sure if I have been verfied or not...
I was really asking whether anyones partner had actually accepted their partner was bisexual..or gay..or different really
I was in hospital giving birth to my daughter 27years ago when I found out my husband was gay didn't want to b gay he said. Altho we r good friends now and has a brilliant relaitionship with his kids thanks he says to me; at the time I was humiliated, angry, and a lot of other feelings in between. It's def affected the way I trust ( or dont) men and I wd say prob ruined any chance I had of having a proper relaitionship x"
Oh thats so sad...I dont know what to say to that....I guess we dont always appreciate how lies can destroy..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"M told me quite soon into our relationship that he was bi, he hadn't told previous girlfriends. I was proud of him for telling me especially when he never knew what my reaction would be & I imagine it's a really daunting for a guy as it's not as well accepted. I'm really open minded and just glad he can be himself with me, I actively encourage him to explore his bi side and on the plus side it's a huge turn on for me Mrs"
And there is ehere things differ..my wife is not open to it.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Been on the site as a single guy for at least 5 years...
Trust issues might be more than you being Bi I think but I'm not here to judge.
Mr Tease"
You could be right I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m bi but I have been out since I was fifteen - every partner has known about it.
However I have seen others coming out the bi or kink closet to partners and never really understood the reaction. When people hide something it is usually through denial and fear, not a desire to betray you, and I can’t imagine the courage it would take to finally admit to whatever it is that you’ve been hiding.
For me, the best response would be acceptance and a desire to learn more.
I’m sorry that she doesn’t feel that way but she may just need time to deal with it and if you are both relieved by the separation it may be fir the best.
And now you have the awesome time in your life to explore and celebrate yourself without needing to hide. Congratulations "
Thanks Elcee....thats just how I see it! |
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"Opned a can of worms!
Yes I have been on here a long time, yes I have met guys in that time..
Yes I do feel a bastard and a coward, I knew she wouldnt accept my bi side and its that which caused or is causing a split...not sure if I have been verfied or not...
I was really asking whether anyones partner had actually accepted their partner was bisexual..or gay..or different really
I was in hospital giving birth to my daughter 27years ago when I found out my husband was gay didn't want to b gay he said. Altho we r good friends now and has a brilliant relaitionship with his kids thanks he says to me; at the time I was humiliated, angry, and a lot of other feelings in between. It's def affected the way I trust ( or dont) men and I wd say prob ruined any chance I had of having a proper relaitionship x
Oh thats so sad...I dont know what to say to that....I guess we dont always appreciate how lies can destroy..
"
Fortunatley for him for the sake of my kids I tried not to b bitter as he has friends in the same position that's wives turned the kids against him. Now his long term partner can't accept we r friendly. Can't win I suppose z |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?
I was with someone for years and kept the bi side locked away. Split up for other reasons and then met rocket and she is so into me being with other guys. It's like a dream come true.
It may be hard for you at the moment but hang in there and you'll find someone that understands."
Thank you, I will! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
No, its deeper than that, there are trust issues becausecof my trying to hide sexuality.
She is also not into the idea of me being bi.
does she know you have been seeing other people
Thats just it..I havent, I have been trying to though.
Dont get me wrong, I am not moaning..its better for her too, just so relieved its over.."
I hope everything works out ok for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Opned a can of worms!
Yes I have been on here a long time, yes I have met guys in that time..
Yes I do feel a bastard and a coward, I knew she wouldnt accept my bi side and its that which caused or is causing a split...not sure if I have been verfied or not...
I was really asking whether anyones partner had actually accepted their partner was bisexual..or gay..or different really"
Me.
I came out to my then partner as bi six years ago. She was so accepting she suggested we go to a club do I could have some experience with men.
I soon told her about my gender issues too and she accepted that as well.
Im a bit of a rarity too, apparently, as many transitioning people lose their partner. My friends and family are being brilliant too.
I married my lady soon after I came out to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's best to be yourself. sexuality changes as you age. Living a lie is horrible and very corrosive to ones confidence. My first marriage was a disaster waiting to happen. We met as teenagers and I hadn't had time to explore my sexuality. She desperately tried to keep my sex drive in check.
We just weren't compatible. Her methodist upbringing by her parents meant she was so inhibited. Pity as she was so fucking gorgeous. Real eye candy. She was like Sophia Loren. I tried to explain I wanted to swing and see her with other men but was told I was disgusting and never to mention such things again.
So I did what most other blokes do. I played and met other women. I basically cheated trying to find something that was missing at home. I felt terrible though and eventually spilt the beans about a woman I'd met that like me was very kinky. It was a disaster. We split up and divorced. My ex wife discovered sex with other men and actually became much better in bed (that's another story)
soon after we split I met this incredible woman (Mrs N) also very beautiful, she was everything I dreamed of and....... like me didn't want to settle down just yet, so for many years we played together. Slowly but surely my bisexuality came out and one day I blurted it out that I wanted cock fun. She was absolutely brilliant about it and still is. OK she said she's not desperately keen but is happy if I am happy. Now she quite likes seeing me suck a nice cock.
Good luck OP. If it's meant to be then she'll be fine about it. If she's more straight laced then you've got problems. Like my first wife she may find it totally against her beliefs but at least you've come clean and she should respect you for that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that.
Being straight means you fancy other people too. Straight people fancy the opposite sex, bi people fancy both sexes. What I don’t understand is people using being bi as an excuse for cheating. Just coz you fancy both does that mean you’re entitled to both if you’ve committed yourself to someone else? I’d say no you still have to stay faithful regardless of which sex(es) you fancy. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It's best to be yourself. sexuality changes as you age. Living a lie is horrible and very corrosive to ones confidence. My first marriage was a disaster waiting to happen. We met as teenagers and I hadn't had time to explore my sexuality. She desperately tried to keep my sex drive in check.
We just weren't compatible. Her methodist upbringing by her parents meant she was so inhibited. Pity as she was so fucking gorgeous. Real eye candy. She was like Sophia Loren. I tried to explain I wanted to swing and see her with other men but was told I was disgusting and never to mention such things again.
So I did what most other blokes do. I played and met other women. I basically cheated trying to find something that was missing at home. I felt terrible though and eventually spilt the beans about a woman I'd met that like me was very kinky. It was a disaster. We split up and divorced. My ex wife discovered sex with other men and actually became much better in bed (that's another story)
soon after we split I met this incredible woman (Mrs N) also very beautiful, she was everything I dreamed of and....... like me didn't want to settle down just yet, so for many years we played together. Slowly but surely my bisexuality came out and one day I blurted it out that I wanted cock fun. She was absolutely brilliant about it and still is. OK she said she's not desperately keen but is happy if I am happy. Now she quite likes seeing me suck a nice cock.
Good luck OP. If it's meant to be then she'll be fine about it. If she's more straight laced then you've got problems. Like my first wife she may find it totally against her beliefs but at least you've come clean and she should respect you for that.
"
Thanks, glad things worked out for you!
Gives me some hope!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that.
Being straight means you fancy other people too. Straight people fancy the opposite sex, bi people fancy both sexes. What I don’t understand is people using being bi as an excuse for cheating. Just coz you fancy both does that mean you’re entitled to both if you’ve committed yourself to someone else? I’d say no you still have to stay faithful regardless of which sex(es) you fancy. "
That's kind of my feeling too, I do think it's ever so sad that the OP and others have kept such a massive part of them secret from the one person you should be able to share everything with. But if you came on here saying my wife doesn't support me having sex with other women, you'd most likely be vilified, I don't think she should be more tolerant just because it's men you fancy too.
But I hope the pair of you find your happiness.
Ginger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?"
I think you should give her some space find a man for yourself and offer her to join you |
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"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?"
is she leaving you just because you are bi or is it because you have acted on your bisexuality? being bi is not a free pass for cheating just as being heterosexual isn't a free pass for cheating either. I know this reply puts a presumption of cheating on you but if you are bi and had no intention of cheating on your partner then why even tell your partner? |
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that.
Being straight means you fancy other people too. Straight people fancy the opposite sex, bi people fancy both sexes. What I don’t understand is people using being bi as an excuse for cheating. Just coz you fancy both does that mean you’re entitled to both if you’ve committed yourself to someone else? I’d say no you still have to stay faithful regardless of which sex(es) you fancy. "
Being straight does not mean you fancy other people too.
There are many monogamous relationships on this planet.
Being straight means you are not attracted to (or fancy, if you wish) other members of the same sex.
It does not follow that you necessarily fancy other people at all.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Poor lady ...
So you've been putting it up a man's rear and then in her vagina
Not very nice for her is it ? "
Err..no I havent been doing that...mr judgemental |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?
is she leaving you just because you are bi or is it because you have acted on your bisexuality? being bi is not a free pass for cheating just as being heterosexual isn't a free pass for cheating either. I know this reply puts a presumption of cheating on you but if you are bi and had no intention of cheating on your partner then why even tell your partner?"
I am doing it cos I want to act on my bi side, and the only way to do that is cheat or fess up an leave.. |
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"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?
is she leaving you just because you are bi or is it because you have acted on your bisexuality? being bi is not a free pass for cheating just as being heterosexual isn't a free pass for cheating either. I know this reply puts a presumption of cheating on you but if you are bi and had no intention of cheating on your partner then why even tell your partner?
I am doing it cos I want to act on my bi side, and the only way to do that is cheat or fess up an leave.."
So basically you want her to be OK with your infidelity. Well now she left you you're free to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have you talked anymore with her ? I imagine you must have shocked her. She might calm down in time. "
We have talked, she just cant deal with my sexuality.
Sad but I understand. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?
is she leaving you just because you are bi or is it because you have acted on your bisexuality? being bi is not a free pass for cheating just as being heterosexual isn't a free pass for cheating either. I know this reply puts a presumption of cheating on you but if you are bi and had no intention of cheating on your partner then why even tell your partner?
I am doing it cos I want to act on my bi side, and the only way to do that is cheat or fess up an leave..
So basically you want her to be OK with your infidelity. Well now she left you you're free to do so. "
Not what I am saying at all... |
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"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
I can assure you that very many women would find their partner coming out as bi difficult to deal with, even if there isn't cheating involved.
Being bi means you will fancy other people apart from her. Some women can't cope with that.
Being straight means you fancy other people too. Straight people fancy the opposite sex, bi people fancy both sexes. What I don’t understand is people using being bi as an excuse for cheating. Just coz you fancy both does that mean you’re entitled to both if you’ve committed yourself to someone else? I’d say no you still have to stay faithful regardless of which sex(es) you fancy.
Being straight does not mean you fancy other people too.
There are many monogamous relationships on this planet.
Being straight means you are not attracted to (or fancy, if you wish) other members of the same sex.
It does not follow that you necessarily fancy other people at all.
"
Neither does being bi. Shock!! Bi people can be faithful to just one person. I think what the poster was saying was straight people can fancy other people and so can bi people. Neither have to be unfaithful if they chose to be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have you talked anymore with her ? I imagine you must have shocked her. She might calm down in time.
We have talked, she just cant deal with my sexuality.
Sad but I understand."
That is sad. I take it she doesn’t know you’ve been exploring it behind her back? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update....
We are talking and whilst she doesnt like the idea of me being bi, I have agreed to curb my urges and concentrate more on the marriage...."
Do you think you can do that? Good luck. x |
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"Update....
We are talking and whilst she doesnt like the idea of me being bi, I have agreed to curb my urges and concentrate more on the marriage...."
Talking is good. Though you have been very brave to admit what you are to her, so don’t miss the opportunity to move forward now in a way that’s acceptable to both of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Told my ex I had bi history and she got curious. Told her more about my bi play with couples and oral stuff with other lads.
She got so horny we fucked right there. Well worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update....
We are talking and whilst she doesnt like the idea of me being bi, I have agreed to curb my urges and concentrate more on the marriage...."
That’s terrific news. Good luck op xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have just come out to my wife that I am Bisexual...after years of denial.
Not taken well, splitting up.
Anyone else done the same?
What reaction did you get?"
Sorry to hear that, I hope that things get back on track for you swiftly. It's a brave thing to do and definitely better than continuing to hide it.
I told my ex-wife that I was bi when we first met. Despite her initial acceptance I think she always disliked the idea.
We divorced for other reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update....
We are talking and whilst she doesnt like the idea of me being bi, I have agreed to curb my urges and concentrate more on the marriage...."
Oh, didn't see this... 
I think though you can't change the person you are or your sexuality, you can work to manage that within a loving, heterossexual marriage, but I think that takes openness and acceptance on both sides.
I wish you all the best for the future. |
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By *uardiansCouple
over a year ago
Isle of Wight |
"Don’t understand why she’d leave you for that unless it’s against her religion or something or you’ve been cheating with men. If I’m with a straight man I know he likes women but doesn’t mean he’s cheating with them so just coz a guy is bi doesn’t mean he’ll go with men. However, if you’ve been using bi as an excuse to cheat then I suspect the reason she left is because you were unfaithful to her not that you’re bi.
No, its deeper than that, there are trust issues becausecof my trying to hide sexuality.
She is also not into the idea of me being bi.
does she know you have been seeing other people
Thats just it..I havent, I have been trying to though.
Dont get me wrong, I am not moaning..its better for her too, just so relieved its over.."
hi Zoè(rocket) here, it's a shame she couldn't accept you being bi, from a female perspective, there is no jealousy regarding my man wanting a bit of sausage, that's something I can't provide and big D loves it that I enjoy watching him with fellas (I get to share too, I'm not just a bystander) he finds watching me with guys sexy too, we are properly happy, being open about your sexuality is always the best way to go, when you meet someone new (male or female) tell them from the start,you'll be pleasantly surprised how many people out there are cool with it. This is a new chapter in your life, embrace it, and never hide who you are, you've done the hard bit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Update....
We are talking and whilst she doesnt like the idea of me being bi, I have agreed to curb my urges and concentrate more on the marriage...."
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m bi but I have been out since I was fifteen - every partner has known about it.
However I have seen others coming out the bi or kink closet to partners and never really understood the reaction. When people hide something it is usually through denial and fear, not a desire to betray you, and I can’t imagine the courage it would take to finally admit to whatever it is that you’ve been hiding.
For me, the best response would be acceptance and a desire to learn more.
I’m sorry that she doesn’t feel that way but she may just need time to deal with it and if you are both relieved by the separation it may be fir the best.
And now you have the awesome time in your life to explore and celebrate yourself without needing to hide. Congratulations "
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"Poor lady ...
So you've been putting it up a man's rear and then in her vagina
Not very nice for her is it ?
A rather wild assumption there.  "
Why is it that some think that because a man likes men that he immediately wants to have anal sex with them? Have I slipped back in time? |
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"Poor lady ...
So you've been putting it up a man's rear and then in her vagina
Not very nice for her is it ?
A rather wild assumption there.
Why is it that some think that because a man likes men that he immediately wants to have anal sex with them? Have I slipped back in time? "
me again about labelling again  . This is why I think it’s so useful to identify as correctly as you can. Sir is bi top. That’s quite specific in terms of other bi guys we like to meet usually. |
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"Poor lady ...
So you've been putting it up a man's rear and then in her vagina
Not very nice for her is it ?
A rather wild assumption there.
Why is it that some think that because a man likes men that he immediately wants to have anal sex with them? Have I slipped back in time?
me again about labelling again . This is why I think it’s so useful to identify as correctly as you can. Sir is bi top. That’s quite specific in terms of other bi guys we like to meet usually. "
I agree you have to be specific but not everyone want to give or receive anal sex. As soon as gay or bi are mentioned with men it’s assumed that they can’t wait to have anal. |
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"Poor lady ...
So you've been putting it up a man's rear and then in her vagina
Not very nice for her is it ?
A rather wild assumption there.
Why is it that some think that because a man likes men that he immediately wants to have anal sex with them? Have I slipped back in time?
me again about labelling again . This is why I think it’s so useful to identify as correctly as you can. Sir is bi top. That’s quite specific in terms of other bi guys we like to meet usually.
I agree you have to be specific but not everyone want to give or receive anal sex. As soon as gay or bi are mentioned with men it’s assumed that they can’t wait to have anal. "
Yes that’s very true. A lot of bi/gay men are oral not into anal
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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago
Ramsgate |
"Poor lady ...
So you've been putting it up a man's rear and then in her vagina
Not very nice for her is it ?
A rather wild assumption there.
Why is it that some think that because a man likes men that he immediately wants to have anal sex with them? Have I slipped back in time?
me again about labelling again . This is why I think it’s so useful to identify as correctly as you can. Sir is bi top. That’s quite specific in terms of other bi guys we like to meet usually.
I agree you have to be specific but not everyone want to give or receive anal sex. As soon as gay or bi are mentioned with men it’s assumed that they can’t wait to have anal.
Yes that’s very true. A lot of bi/gay men are oral not into anal
"
It’s not all about bums lol There are other things like touching, wanking, oral and snogging. If you like it a good snog with a bloke can be a big turn on but I know there are guys who think that’s too intimate. |
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