FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > is the site overun with fakes and timewasters
is the site overun with fakes and timewasters
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't say it's ever been any different than it is
Socials and house parties are a better way to meet
Sites I use to stay up to date with friends I've met and socials etc
Not to meet
The only exception I ever made to a site meet I'm marrying next year lol xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We do get a bad rep, every single lady I've arranged to meet on here has turned up. But every couple I've arranged to meet has let me down, and they seem to be the ones that whinge the most about timewasters. Ironic innit? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do get a bad rep, every single lady I've arranged to meet on here has turned up. But every couple I've arranged to meet has let me down, and they seem to be the ones that whinge the most about timewasters. Ironic innit?"
Exactly my experience on this site..... Although on other sites I have met couples.... I am pleased it's not just me, I was getting a complex  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do get a bad rep, every single lady I've arranged to meet on here has turned up. But every couple I've arranged to meet has let me down, and they seem to be the ones that whinge the most about timewasters. Ironic innit?
Exactly my experience on this site..... Although on other sites I have met couples.... I am pleased it's not just me, I was getting a complex "
bugger I was too slow on this 1 if I had been quicker to post could have been sandwiched between you and max now that would have been a turn up  xx |
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "
No..
Its what you make of it...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We do get a bad rep, every single lady I've arranged to meet on here has turned up. But every couple I've arranged to meet has let me down, and they seem to be the ones that whinge the most about timewasters. Ironic innit?"
well now as a couple I can honestly say that this so far with regard to the single fellas has been very true, not complaining mind as we have been having a ball.......couples as yet though have only talked the talk  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am one for taking this lifestyle easy and not getting too hung up on the negatives, but I can honestly say on this profile and my previous one on here and another site that the single ladies are on the whole a lot more reliable than the couples.
We all have busy lives, kids, illnesses, etc so again I accept that there are many instances where people cannot turn up for meets - I also accept that people get cold feet and have a change of mind like I said I tend not to get too hung up about it but "some" couples seem to be worthy of the same criticism that single guys get on here.
Please note - Some not all |
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To be blunt, have had a few guys chasing, and far too often gets to a phone call and they just want phone sex to get them off and then here no more.
On those with couple issues, depends a lot on who is driving the profile, far too often it will be the guy in the hope of getting other half to play along. Come the decision moment, she says no for many reasons.
As a way to interact, see who is going to clubs site is great. Can't comment on house parties yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Is The Site Overrun With Fakes And Timewasters?”
*******
Only in the same way the wild west territories of north America were over run with buffalo and bison…….
Until it was decided by foolhardy individuals to eradicate the beasts hoping to starve out the indigenous peoples of that land….!!!!!
Now I know there’s a moral in that somewhere……. Hmmmmm
Oh well…… perhaps…. Its just easier to remember….. ya gotta kiss a few frogs before ya find one that’s gonna turn into a prince or princess….!.
Fairy tales can come true, they can happen to you….!. lala-lala-laa
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi,
we've been let down on more than one occasion on this site by singles!
The main reason we joined this site was to remain in contact with friends we had met at our local swingers club (tease2).
We have had no success stories to report from this site just a series of time wasting fools.
Do remember! Other sites charge for services that are offered freely here and unfortunately with that you are going to have fake accounts with people misrepresenting themselves.
Hazel. |
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Yes lots of it on here but get good at spotting the signs and gets easier. we never make false promises and have never let anyone down. only ever had one no show...shouldn't have agreed to meet in town after he had been out with mates lol. Was a long time ago and he lost his chance and still seems gutted. Its meant to be fun. We are cheerful about moving on from twits. Lpl |
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"Hi,
we've been let down on more than one occasion on this site by singles!
The main reason we joined this site was to remain in contact with friends we had met at our local swingers club (tease2).
We have had no success stories to report from this site just a series of time wasting fools.
Do remember! Other sites charge for services that are offered freely here and unfortunately with that you are going to have fake accounts with people misrepresenting themselves.
Hazel."
Stunning! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The honest answer is yes, there are time wasters and yes there are genuine people....
We have accept, that for every meet we can arrange there are probably 10 that blow up in our face... Just don't expect a meet every time is a good way of avoiding disappointment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having encountered a number of timewasters we now insist that before they join us to play they meet me first (without my wife) for a chat. The theory is that if they are reliable enough to meet for a chat they will turn up for the party night.
Its amazing how often guys agree to this but don't bother appearing for the chat!
Although this tactic avoids disappointment on a party night it is frustrating as I have wasted a heap of time over the years sitting waiting for these plonkers to show.
This happened again today as a guy who approached us hoping to meet didn't bother to show up & didn't even have the courtesy to send a text to say he changed his mind.
As invariably happens however when we get together with friends from this site the discussion gets around to timewasters & identities of people who should be avoided are mentioned. Its hard enough getting meetings anyway without developing that kind of reputation.
On the positive side we have encountered some really fantastic people & lived out some of our most outrageous fantasies. So thanks to those people you make the whole effort worthwhile. |
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"The honest answer is yes, there are time wasters and yes there are genuine people....
We have accept, that for every meet we can arrange there are probably 10 that blow up in our face... Just don't expect a meet every time is a good way of avoiding disappointment "
Noooooooooooooooooo. Want great sex every time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The honest answer is yes, there are time wasters and yes there are genuine people....
We have accept, that for every meet we can arrange there are probably 10 that blow up in our face... Just don't expect a meet every time is a good way of avoiding disappointment
Noooooooooooooooooo. Want great sex every time. "
I wish you all the luck in the world |
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"The honest answer is yes, there are time wasters and yes there are genuine people....
We have accept, that for every meet we can arrange there are probably 10 that blow up in our face... Just don't expect a meet every time is a good way of avoiding disappointment
Noooooooooooooooooo. Want great sex every time.
I wish you all the luck in the world "
Oh what a gent. I wiil take that luck (will need it) and return it thricefold (even though you keep having a go at us poor simple cornish folk)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The honest answer is yes, there are time wasters and yes there are genuine people....
We have accept, that for every meet we can arrange there are probably 10 that blow up in our face... Just don't expect a meet every time is a good way of avoiding disappointment
Noooooooooooooooooo. Want great sex every time.
I wish you all the luck in the world
Oh what a gent. I wiil take that luck (will need it) and return it thricefold (even though you keep having a go at us poor simple cornish folk) "
Don't you buggers get an EC grant to assist with travel costs for swinging?
As for the thrice fold luck, I bloody need it!! So cheers |
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"The honest answer is yes, there are time wasters and yes there are genuine people....
We have accept, that for every meet we can arrange there are probably 10 that blow up in our face... Just don't expect a meet every time is a good way of avoiding disappointment
Noooooooooooooooooo. Want great sex every time.
I wish you all the luck in the world
Oh what a gent. I wiil take that luck (will need it) and return it thricefold (even though you keep having a go at us poor simple cornish folk)
Don't you buggers get an EC grant to assist with travel costs for swinging?
As for the thrice fold luck, I bloody need it!! So cheers"
Oh I wish! Will ask court for human rights lol |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "
"people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So are you saying that all those fit nubile young guys and gals that email me for fun within hours of signing on aren't real?
There's always room for improvement. Would a paid site be any better? Maybe a little but I'm afraid there's people you wouldn't chose to meet or chat to on both kind of sites. Boredom and ignorance is their main problem I think.
If you're not happy keep reporting. One day you may get listened to. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"plenty plenty plenty of non fakeytimewasters- just do ur research better, and effective judgement"
this... sort of!!
I do wonder sometimes how people do go about doing there "due diligence" on people they are looking at meeting...
the people i meet at clubs don't tend to timewaste and the people I meet at socials don't tent to timewaste either...
if I am not sure.. I keep talking to people till I am
if people seem too good to be true.. I take my time....
has it possibly cost me meets.. probably, but I can also could the amount of timewasters I have had on one hand in the 7yrs ish I have been on sites like this.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I say, I think you have to be philosophical about things, I haven't had a meet since last thursday.... Had a few "potentials" go all quiet, well I say quiet, I thought i heard a whispered "John Merrick" a while back, but I am not so sure..........
Its and all or nothing thing, make a decision based on your criteria, if it blows up, walk away from it (thats how I was trained.... lol), anyone that says, sorry not interested, or messes me about gets blocked, plenty more fish in the sea (unfortunate expression that) |
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depends on what you class as "fake" and "time waster " doesnt it . ive had people at times call me both during their tantrums and strops because i dont do what they want when they want .i refused to meet a total random after one message ,therefore im a time waster. i refuse to go on cam or phone a total stranger therefore i must be a fake . the fact ive been to numerous socials and house parties too of course means nothing lol ! people throw the label "fake" and "time waster " around far to easily ! just convenient knee jerk reaction to being told "no" or something they dont like. i only consider a person a time waster if a meet has been CLEARLY arranged(DATE ,TIME and PLACE ) and they dont show and not attempt to let me know or give a reason why . this has only happened once in whole time ive been here !! even then i txt one of my firends and went to see him instead and had a fantastic night !!!!
have also found afew times through talking on here person wasnt what they claimed, well before any meet considered . but i dont consider that a waste of my time as ive found out that person/cpl is suitable for me or what i want before arranging a thing so i think thats actually posative use of my time !
end of day if you are plagued by time wasters ect then id would then be using filters ,reporting where required and biggest thing ....reviewing the way i vet people i meet !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes it is i am afraid when i joined it was very good plenty of meets now just a waste of time rude women rude answers not worth the hassle most of the time thank god for reg freinds giving up on newbies |
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then? "
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then?
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. "
sounds kinky..where ? when? |
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then?
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. sounds kinky..where ? when? "
Yo have to fuck a bi geordie woman to get invited  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then?
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. sounds kinky..where ? when?
Yo have to fuck a bi geordie woman to get invited "
~~~~~~ not being a member of that club, last time I did that, I lost me watch..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to meet a women other night.waited an hour no show,when i got home and bk on here i had a message saying she could see me across carpack but then watched me drive away because was too scared to come over! How a was ever supposed to get my cock in her ill never know?  |
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then?
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. sounds kinky..where ? when?
Yo have to fuck a bi geordie woman to get invited
~~~~~~ not being a member of that club, last time I did that, I lost me watch..... "
Should take better care fisting then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then?
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. sounds kinky..where ? when?
Yo have to fuck a bi geordie woman to get invited
~~~~~~ not being a member of that club, last time I did that, I lost me watch.....
Should take better care fisting then "
Sorry about the 07.30am alarm by the way..... on a more positive note, at least its a vibrating alarm... |
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "people"? "genuine swingers?" whats them then?
i think yo have to attend the midnight initiation and get taught the secret handshake. sounds kinky..where ? when?
Yo have to fuck a bi geordie woman to get invited
~~~~~~ not being a member of that club, last time I did that, I lost me watch.....
Should take better care fisting then
Sorry about the 07.30am alarm by the way..... on a more positive note, at least its a vibrating alarm..."
Its ok,i took it down the pawn shop,needed to refill the bath with coal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why is there not a forum where members can name & shame timewasters? They will obviously have the right of reply & then everyone can make up their own mind about who to believe.
The current arrangement is clearly unsatisfactory. The fact that there is so much talk about the problem suggests that it is an issue.
Having reported people guilty of time wasting on the "Report Forum" nothing appears to have been done.
I appreciate that its impossible from the outside to uncover the actual truth of an accusation which is why a new forum might provide a platform for people to vent their frustrations on timewasters but would importantly also allow the accused a right of reply. |
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"hi everyone had them, and more and more it's happening and single guys get a bad rep for this but i've notice it from reading Ppl's threads that couples let ppl down too? so question is the site a place for ppl to mess around with genuine swingers "
I have been on the site for quite a long time and have never had a Fake or Timewaster.....maybe you just have a different concept of what a Timewaster is than I do?
To me it's not just someone who doesn't want to meet me. |
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"Why is there not a forum where members can name & shame timewasters? They will obviously have the right of reply & then everyone can make up their own mind about who to believe.
The current arrangement is clearly unsatisfactory. The fact that there is so much talk about the problem suggests that it is an issue.
Having reported people guilty of time wasting on the "Report Forum" nothing appears to have been done.
I appreciate that its impossible from the outside to uncover the actual truth of an accusation which is why a new forum might provide a platform for people to vent their frustrations on timewasters but would importantly also allow the accused a right of reply. "
A very small minority of people use the form,a small proportion of those call others timewasters and have a recurring problem.Hardly worth setting up an impossible to police form.
As has been said before if you seem to have a number of meets that fall through its probably worth reconsidering your selection criteria.
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we have seen (what we believe to be) 'fake' profiles - and have reported many (e.g. couple profiles where it clearly states "no longer a couple"), but as to timewasters ...
we've never had that misfortune as we've always looked to establish contact with peeps before we've met - and guess been lucky (or right) in that meets have then happened |
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"Good for you but the majority of people seem to have encountered timwasters. In our experience these are guys (usually single) who approach us assuring us of their enthusiasm & reliability only to not appear on the night they have virtually begged to obtain.
We are not newbies at this and are far from gullible but there are clearly many people out there making this whole business extremely difficult for the genuine ones.
The trouble is that at present they seem to be able to mess people about on this site with total impunity. They have anonimity "
i find single guys the most reliable,not that i have ever found couples a problem,but there are more likely to be issues with work,babysitting ect.A single guy after establishing we are interested it tends to be a quick call and arrangements are made.Again,if this happens consistently i wud suggest look at how you choose meets.
You say the majority have encountered timewasters...very few people i know have had more than one no show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't agree that this would be impossible to police. Nor do I think it is a minority problem. The fact that it gets regularly featured in postings suggests that it is most definitely not.
Abusive, rude or threatening postings could be deleted without any great problem but it would provide an outlet for the deep frustrations caused by timewasters.
Currently these people seem to be able to continue without incurring any penalties whatsoever.
That cannot be right.
As for those people lucky enou |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"I don't agree that this would be impossible to police. Nor do I think it is a minority problem. The fact that it gets regularly featured in postings suggests that it is most definitely not.
Abusive, rude or threatening postings could be deleted without any great problem but it would provide an outlet for the deep frustrations caused by timewasters.
Currently these people seem to be able to continue without incurring any penalties whatsoever.
That cannot be right.
As for those people lucky enou"
Dependant on what your definition of said people are of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dependant on what your definition of said people are of course "
Of course there are different definitions of what timewasting is. Which is why the site administrators have a thankless task in trying to adjudicate on cases brought to their attention - leaving people who do bring complaints to their attention with the feeling that nothing is done.
My suggestion is therefore that they do not entertain any complaints of this type & simply allow the members themselves to place their complaints in a public domain.
With a right to reply everyone can therefor judge whether there is any merit in the complaint.
My view is that this would be better than allowing this sort of behaviour to continue unchallenged. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Dependant on what your definition of said people are of course
Of course there are different definitions of what timewasting is. Which is why the site administrators have a thankless task in trying to adjudicate on cases brought to their attention - leaving people who do bring complaints to their attention with the feeling that nothing is done.
My suggestion is therefore that they do not entertain any complaints of this type & simply allow the members themselves to place their complaints in a public domain.
With a right to reply everyone can therefor judge whether there is any merit in the complaint.
My view is that this would be better than allowing this sort of behaviour to continue unchallenged."
A kangaroo court will not work in my opinion...now just before i mull over what you have put, will there be stocks n public floggings?  |
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Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?"
Havent had one either, im beginning to feel left out |
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?Havent had one either, im beginning to feel left out "
We should take it up with Admin....they might just be neglecting our rights.
Feckers! |
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"Dependant on what your definition of said people are of course
Of course there are different definitions of what timewasting is. Which is why the site administrators have a thankless task in trying to adjudicate on cases brought to their attention - leaving people who do bring complaints to their attention with the feeling that nothing is done.
My suggestion is therefore that they do not entertain any complaints of this type & simply allow the members themselves to place their complaints in a public domain.
With a right to reply everyone can therefor judge whether there is any merit in the complaint.
My view is that this would be better than allowing this sort of behaviour to continue unchallenged.A kangaroo court will not work in my opinion...now just before i mull over what you have put, will there be stocks n public floggings? "
Oh maybe an online judge judy too...I would love that lol. Public flogging? There are plenty on here who would sign up for that without committing any misdemeners. Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?"
I think you have actually supported my contention. Why is it the responsibility of those of us who are on the site for genuine reasons to have to take so much effort to ensure we avoid timewasters?
We all discuss our strategies but ultimately it involves some degree of luck whether the person(s)actually bother turning up on the night.
If I deliberately misled you, jumping through all your "sensible" hoops & then simply not appeared as agreed why should my behaviour not be brought to wider attention?
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?
I think you have actually supported my contention. Why is it the responsibility of those of us who are on the site for genuine reasons to have to take so much effort to ensure we avoid timewasters?
We all discuss our strategies but ultimately it involves some degree of luck whether the person(s)actually bother turning up on the night.
If I deliberately misled you, jumping through all your "sensible" hoops & then simply not appeared as agreed why should my behaviour not be brought to wider attention?
"
Errrrr....because I might be making up the fact that you let me down? |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Dependant on what your definition of said people are of course
Of course there are different definitions of what timewasting is. Which is why the site administrators have a thankless task in trying to adjudicate on cases brought to their attention - leaving people who do bring complaints to their attention with the feeling that nothing is done.
My suggestion is therefore that they do not entertain any complaints of this type & simply allow the members themselves to place their complaints in a public domain.
With a right to reply everyone can therefor judge whether there is any merit in the complaint.
My view is that this would be better than allowing this sort of behaviour to continue unchallenged.A kangaroo court will not work in my opinion...now just before i mull over what you have put, will there be stocks n public floggings?
Oh maybe an online judge judy too...I would love that lol. Public flogging? There are plenty on here who would sign up for that without committing any misdemeners. Lol"
Me me me me !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Incidentally I am not talking about a "kangeroo court". A court has the power to decide guilt & impose penalties.
This would be a forum where both sides would be able to post a problem leaving readers to come to form their own decision.
If however regular complaints were posted about the same individual then you could draw a conclusion.
It would certainly be useful information if you are considering a meeting with this person.
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Incidentally I am not talking about a "kangeroo court". A court has the power to decide guilt & impose penalties.
This would be a forum where both sides would be able to post a problem leaving readers to come to form their own decision.
If however regular complaints were posted about the same individual then you could draw a conclusion.
It would certainly be useful information if you are considering a meeting with this person.
"
So whats to stop people from fibbing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?
I think you have actually supported my contention. Why is it the responsibility of those of us who are on the site for genuine reasons to have to take so much effort to ensure we avoid timewasters?
We all discuss our strategies but ultimately it involves some degree of luck whether the person(s)actually bother turning up on the night.
If I deliberately misled you, jumping through all your "sensible" hoops & then simply not appeared as agreed why should my behaviour not be brought to wider attention?
Errrrr....because I might be making up the fact that you let me down?"
Errrr....that is why there needs to be a right of reply!!! |
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Lets look at it another way....I have to turn down many guys every week because they don't meet my profile criteria....ie they live miles away, they are too old, they smoke, they are whatever!
So on the monday I say no to five guys...
Guy 'A' takes umbrage and accuses me of being a timewaster and not turning up.
Guy 'B' sees this post from Guy 'A' and pissed off himself that I won't meet him decided to add to the lies....
Guy 'C' is annoyed I turned him down but decides it wrong to join in...
Guy 'D' decides to get on the bandwagon and accuses me of asking him for money for sex...
Guy 'E' is bored, he can't get a meet with anyone and upon seeing the original 'name and shame' decides to tell everyone he met me but I was an 18 stone wrestler!
IT WON'T WORK! |
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"Incidentally I am not talking about a "kangeroo court". A court has the power to decide guilt & impose penalties.
This would be a forum where both sides would be able to post a problem leaving readers to come to form their own decision.
If however regular complaints were posted about the same individual then you could draw a conclusion.
It would certainly be useful information if you are considering a meeting with this person.
So whats to stop people from fibbing?"
They haven't thought that bit out Femme! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I simply dont agree with you.
What doesnt work is for the site administrator to be asked to figure out who is telling the truth on timewasting complaints & this is currently is leaving genuine members vulnerable & frustrated.
There is no 100% perfect solution to this problem but at the moment the timewaster is allowed to continue his activities unhindered whilst the genuine member is left with ANY outlet to voice their problem.
This is simply the wrong way round.
Incidentally thanks for the reasoned debate which I have thoroughly enjoyed - even if we cannot actually come to an agreement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd have to write to the hundreds of people who do not read or write on the forums to ask them of their site experience before I can answer this.
They're probably too busy shagging to reply to me though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apparently neither of us is "sensible" when it comes to selecting possible play pals
Sad to say I am glad to hear that others are having similar problems. I was being overwhelmed by those members who appear never to have encountered a timewaster!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?
I think you have actually supported my contention. Why is it the responsibility of those of us who are on the site for genuine reasons to have to take so much effort to ensure we avoid timewasters?
We all discuss our strategies but ultimately it involves some degree of luck whether the person(s)actually bother turning up on the night.
If I deliberately misled you, jumping through all your "sensible" hoops & then simply not appeared as agreed why should my behaviour not be brought to wider attention?
Errrrr....because I might be making up the fact that you let me down?
Errrr....that is why there needs to be a right of reply!!!"
Have you seen some of the replies in the club review section? It gets really childish and petty when someone gives their favourite club or host a bad or nediocre review, then it all seems to descend into petty squabbling and insults...makes me feel our decision not to ever use clubs is entirely justified...it would be exactly the same with that...
Anyway-we're grown ups using and adult site to choose potential sexual partners, why isn't it our own responsibility to use our own judgement and common sense to pick and choose who we meet? You may get the odd bad penny but ultimately, it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves-not the site owners who after all only provide the means for like minded people to contact each other to form their own contracts and agreements...all the site is is a conduit-pure and simple...not a dating agency who vet users from the off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Have you seen some of the replies in the club review section? It gets really childish and petty when someone gives their favourite club or host a bad or nediocre review, then it all seems to descend into petty squabbling and insults...makes me feel our decision not to ever use clubs is entirely justified...it would be exactly the same with that...
Anyway-we're grown ups using and adult site to choose potential sexual partners, why isn't it our own responsibility to use our own judgement and common sense to pick and choose who we meet? You may get the odd bad penny but ultimately, it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves-not the site owners who after all only provide the means for like minded people to contact each other to form their own contracts and agreements...all the site is is a conduit-pure and simple...not a dating agency who vet users from the off"
Don't be daft. That would involve effort. Has anyone received the plate they were hoping it was going to be handed on yet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A very small minority of people use the forum,a small proportion of those call others timewasters and have a recurring problem.Hardly worth setting up an impossible to police forum.
As has been said before if you seem to have a number of meets that fall through its probably worth reconsidering your selection criteria.
"
I totally agree. This is not an issue for members who take responsibility for their own selection of sexual partners.
I only meet single males, and in three and a half years, I've NEVER had someone fail to turn up. Likewise, I have NEVER failed to turn up. But I choose my meets carefully
As for a 'name and shame' forum, I most certainly do not support such a thing. As earlier posters have said, this would be open to malicious postings from people who are disappointed to be turned down for a meet. And a 'right of reply' is all very well, but since I'm not a timewaster, I wouldn't read such a Forum, so people could be slagging me off every day, for all I would know about it.
And yes, I guess Admin could put in place a form of 'alert' to tell us when we've been named and shamed, but why on earth should they invest in this, when the site is mostly free (I note the OP is not a Site Supporter).
There is already a way to report to Admin if someone has arranged a meet and failed to turn up. I'm sure Admin won't act on a single report, which could be malicious, but WILL act if they see a pattern of the same member being reported as a 'no show' by several different members. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Have you seen some of the replies in the club review section? It gets really childish and petty when someone gives their favourite club or host a bad or nediocre review, then it all seems to descend into petty squabbling and insults...makes me feel our decision not to ever use clubs is entirely justified...it would be exactly the same with that...
Anyway-we're grown ups using and adult site to choose potential sexual partners, why isn't it our own responsibility to use our own judgement and common sense to pick and choose who we meet? You may get the odd bad penny but ultimately, it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves-not the site owners who after all only provide the means for like minded people to contact each other to form their own contracts and agreements...all the site is is a conduit-pure and simple...not a dating agency who vet users from the off
Don't be daft. That would involve effort. Has anyone received the plate they were hoping it was going to be handed on yet?"
So who is asking this site to be anything other than a conduit? All I am asking is that they provide a forum where we can report bad experiences as well as good.
Other sites manage to do this without it descending into vitriolic abuse. Why cant this one??
That would allow us a better platform for making a judgement when currently abusers can continue enjoying anonymity.
Dont talk to me about making a common sense decision when there is information known to other people on this site (but not to me) about the bad penny's.
This site is a soft touch for timewasters & it is putting genuine people off. A little bit more attention needs to be paid to finding a way to remove the abusers so as to improve the experience for us all.
If anyone can come up with a better solution then great but to simply say "nothing can be done" is a cop out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nobody else's experiences put me off. I go by my own experiences and as long as I conduct myself in the required manner I cannot see how I or anyone else can control the behaviour of silly buggers.If someone messes me around they owe me nothing I am on this site and know the pitfalls.
If these people have time to spend giving others the runaround they can just close their account after every bit of malicious behaviour then open another and another and another....
Its great sentiment you have but extending the service this site offers costs money. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".
if you have that many problems then you could always retreat to those sites where you have the ability to name & shame "
Thats a constructive response |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?Havent had one either, im beginning to feel left out "
I've been on this site two years and not once encountered a fake or timewaster. I had a wonderful time when I was meeting...I think if I were constantly being stood up I'd look to how I was selecting people.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If these people have time to spend giving others the runaround they can just close their account after every bit of malicious behaviour then open another and another and another....
"
Exactly, those named and shamed would never be pinned down.
At least if they are reported to admin under the current system, admin have the opportunity to delete their profile. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
Dont talk to me about making a common sense decision when there is information known to other people on this site (but not to me) about the bad penny's.
This site is a soft touch for timewasters & it is putting genuine people off. A little bit more attention needs to be paid to finding a way to remove the abusers so as to improve the experience for us all.
"
just wanted to pull this bit out, because if for example someone is encountering timewasters... then isn't the common denominator in affect "you" as the person writing to them?
so since "you" are in effect part of the problem, then "you" have to be part of the solution...
so if you see a bench and it has a "wet paint" sign on it... and you touch it.... and its wet.... are you going to blame the bench, or the people who painted it???
there has to be an amount of personal responsibilty in all of this... and putting it all on "timewaster" doesn't always tackle the larger issue...
if someone isn't working, then why is it not working? what can you change to make it work? ect ect ect....
I am not saying that anything is "100% proof" but for someone to try and say they are blameless doesn't help in the long run either...
maybe i take things slower, maybe i get to know people more, maybe if there is a doubt in my head i listen to it....
and do you know what... I have learnt thru my mistakes and acted to say "thats not happening to me again" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a free site so yes it will attract a certain amount... But that's the Internet for ya also....
We have been swinging a few yrs and been caught out once with a no show.... Think a lot it comes down to how people deal with meets... Ppl who get lots of timewasters a lot to me says they need to really look at what they r doing wrong the fact they get caught out a lot.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If anyone can come up with a better solution then great but to simply say "nothing can be done" is a cop out.
"
That isn 't what I said...what I said was that we personally don't need the site to nanny us...we haven't had any real problems with time wasters in our definition of the word and we take responsibility for our own choices and actions...it seems to work for us... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people must have a knack for attracting timewasters....like a magnet.
Because I have enjoyed many succesful meets through the site, with both men and couples, but I seem to be immune from this 'massive' problem.
Or maybe, just maybe, I go about the whole chatting/phoning/meeting people thing in a more sensible way than some?Havent had one either, im beginning to feel left out
I've been on this site two years and not once encountered a fake or timewaster. I had a wonderful time when I was meeting...I think if I were constantly being stood up I'd look to how I was selecting people.
"
Glad to hear that your experiences have been an unqualified success - genuinely.
Are you suggesting however that the great many people who complained about this problem are all authors of their own misfortune?
We are many things but naive & gullible is not one of them. Nor do we think that the other people who have complained are either.
Incidentally we have been members of this site for a number of years and can assure you that there are, sadly, a number of problematic members out there. We are wily enough to avoid them in virtually all occasions but the time it takes is massive.
Whilst being genuine enthusiasts of this site we are not blind to its flaws. Yes there might be a cost to providing some type of forum for publicly logging negative reviews but there is a higher price in allowing timewasters & phoneys to remain members.
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"Dependant on what your definition of said people are of course
Of course there are different definitions of what timewasting is. Which is why the site administrators have a thankless task in trying to adjudicate on cases brought to their attention - leaving people who do bring complaints to their attention with the feeling that nothing is done.
My suggestion is therefore that they do not entertain any complaints of this type & simply allow the members themselves to place their complaints in a public domain.
With a right to reply everyone can therefor judge whether there is any merit in the complaint.
My view is that this would be better than allowing this sort of behaviour to continue unchallenged.A kangaroo court will not work in my opinion...now just before i mull over what you have put, will there be stocks n public floggings? "
ohhhhh please..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So who is asking this site to be anything other than a conduit? All I am asking is that they provide a forum where we can report bad experiences as well as good.
Other sites manage to do this without it descending into vitriolic abuse. Why cant this one??
That would allow us a better platform for making a judgement when currently abusers can continue enjoying anonymity.
Dont talk to me about making a common sense decision when there is information known to other people on this site (but not to me) about the bad penny's.
This site is a soft touch for timewasters & it is putting genuine people off. A little bit more attention needs to be paid to finding a way to remove the abusers so as to improve the experience for us all.
If anyone can come up with a better solution then great but to simply say "nothing can be done" is a cop out.
++++++++
What happened to Innocent until proven guilty? Your asking this to turn into our current justice system which is pants.
For example we had a forum about myself and Mike and it was only because some kind sole told us about it that we knew it was even happening. Yes there are time-wasters out here and there are some genuine people out there who's life takes over and after all this is suppose to be a pastime not a way of life. Naming and shaming is not the way forward and at the end of the day if yu don't like it there are plenty of other sites you can use |
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COUPLES GET LET DOWNA LOT BY SINGLE GUYS SO WE GET A BAD name i never let anyone down but its the same for us singles i arrange a meet with a couple and they let me down at last min why arrange a meet then not bother turning up we need more gen couples and single guys like me thanks trev xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading over this topic it seems to be the general view that the status quo remains meaning that the timewasters can continue to mess people around without either interference or fear of identification.
Nothing can be done & indeed there are now a couple of suggestions that we disappear to other sites for pushing the argument that there is a problem.
Lets put this simply. We are a real couple who are absolutely reliable (have a look at our verifications). WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY.
In fact we are committed supporters of this site and have been for a number of years.
Dont waste your time assaulting us when there is a very real problem with people abusing the very concept of this site by wasting the time of the genuine members.
Get upset at them - not us.
And if my suggestion is not supported then come up with something better. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Reading over this topic it seems to be the general view that the status quo remains meaning that the timewasters can continue to mess people around without either interference or fear of identification.
Nothing can be done & indeed there are now a couple of suggestions that we disappear to other sites for pushing the argument that there is a problem.
Lets put this simply. We are a real couple who are absolutely reliable (have a look at our verifications). WE ARE NOT THE ENEMY.
In fact we are committed supporters of this site and have been for a number of years.
Dont waste your time assaulting us when there is a very real problem with people abusing the very concept of this site by wasting the time of the genuine members.
Get upset at them - not us.
And if my suggestion is not supported then come up with something better. "
HOLD YA HORSES No one is attacking or trying to assault you at all, we are merely disagreeing with the idea of a Kangaroo court.
It can cause more harm than good. Yes there are a problem with folks who waste other peoples time but although a nuisance surely it makes the time you spend with genuine couples more exciting.
I am afraid until we get a system in place then it a case of put up and shut up. Not Ideal but your idea will villa fie people who may not necessarily deserve that sort of hassle. This after all is suppose to be a sideline ( excuse that couldn't think of anything better to use) than a way of life. Maybe playing means more to some than to others??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Regardless of who is at fault, travelling 30 miles to a non exsistent meet, hanging around on a cold night isn't fun.
If people are going to cancel then they should do so long before you are on your way. May I suggest that if the person you are seeing cannot afford to text and confirm that the meet is on or off at the eariest possible time then block them.
Time wasting to us means lost time, effort, cost and opportunity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a free world for sure & whilst I feel that a name & shame forum is better than the current situation I accept that not everyone will agree.
Incidentally it wasnt me that brought up the phrase "kangaroo court". My point was that a forum where both party's in a dispute could speak their mind (politely) is far from being a kangaroo court.
Incidentally I have been contacted by some other members privately who have suggested various forms of unofficial black lists are already in existence in a number of places.
Not a surprise really but surely a name & shame forum would at least allow "the accused" a right of public reply. |
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