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Married men. A survey
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Purely in the interests of science and in no way having a go at married men or anyone else...
On another thread I was started there was some debate as to whether being openly attached lessens a married man's chances with couples and women.
So, couples and women who are single men only please. If a man is openly attached, what is your view
1. Won't meet hin
2. Less likely to meet him
3. More likely to meet him
4. Makes no difference.
Just type a number 
We are probably 2. We have no settled principled objection, but because arranging meets is likely to be difficult and subject to sudden cancellation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I accept you’re not having a go OP, but what is your ultimate goal with this?
The only logical conclusion I can see is to persuade more married people (men AND women) to hide the fact they are attached if the results suggest people are less likely to see them? What does that achieve?
And what about men or women in relationships (but not married) here behind their girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancés backs? Can that be part of the survey too? |
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"I accept you’re not having a go OP, but what is your ultimate goal with this?
The only logical conclusion I can see is to persuade more married people (men AND women) to hide the fact they are attached if the results suggest people are less likely to see them? What does that achieve?
And what about men or women in relationships (but not married) here behind their girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancés backs? Can that be part of the survey too?"
Believe it or not some people find the subject itself fascinating. There's no goal other than the pursuit of knowledge.
And yes, it can apply to all attached people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I accept you’re not having a go OP, but what is your ultimate goal with this?
The only logical conclusion I can see is to persuade more married people (men AND women) to hide the fact they are attached if the results suggest people are less likely to see them? What does that achieve?
And what about men or women in relationships (but not married) here behind their girlfriend / boyfriend / fiancés backs? Can that be part of the survey too?
Believe it or not some people find the subject itself fascinating. There's no goal other than the pursuit of knowledge.
And yes, it can apply to all attached people. "
Well I’m straight so no interest in married men. Or single ones. But if we can include attached women then I’m a 4. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So as far as I can see with the results so far, there are a few people saying 1, that they won’t meet attached people. These are the type of people that the ‘hidden’ cheaters that don’t disclose their marital status might try and ‘catch out’ and try and meet, but those that DO disclose their status will try to avoid.
And there are few people saying 4, that it doesn’t matter. These are the type of people that attached people who do disclose their marital status might try and meet.
So yes, the OP is right as “single” people would also get a look in with the group that said 4, so attached people who admit to it up front have a smaller pool of people to choose from when seeking meets.
But everyone already knew that beforehand anyway!
However, there is still a sizeable pool of people scoring 3 or 4 prepared to meet attached. And that’s why many choose to say they’re married on here - so they only meet people that are fully informed and consenting to meet people who cheat and hence avoid unnecessary drama and conflict.
So isn’t it actually better to disclose your status then OP?
Avoid upsetting those that don’t want to meet you, and only seek meets from those that are happy to meet you?
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"So as far as I can see with the results so far, there are a few people saying 1, that they won’t meet attached people. These are the type of people that the ‘hidden’ cheaters that don’t disclose their marital status might try and ‘catch out’ and try and meet, but those that DO disclose their status will try to avoid.
And there are few people saying 4, that it doesn’t matter. These are the type of people that attached people who do disclose their marital status might try and meet.
So yes, the OP is right as “single” people would also get a look in with the group that said 4, so attached people who admit to it up front have a smaller pool of people to choose from when seeking meets.
But everyone already knew that beforehand anyway!
However, there is still a sizeable pool of people scoring 3 or 4 prepared to meet attached. And that’s why many choose to say they’re married on here - so they only meet people that are fully informed and consenting to meet people who cheat and hence avoid unnecessary drama and conflict.
So isn’t it actually better to disclose your status then OP?
Avoid upsetting those that don’t want to meet you, and only seek meets from those that are happy to meet you?
"
It's a small sample and some people gave more than one number, but thus far the percentage scores are as follows
Won't meet marrieds 26%
Less likely to meet marrieds 21%
More likely to meet marrieds 12%
No difference 41%
So, it is, on the whole a disadvantage saying you are openly attached. Nearly four times as many are put off by attached people as are attracted to them.
Or looked at another way, you more or less half your pool of likely meets if you say you are attached. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So as far as I can see with the results so far, there are a few people saying 1, that they won’t meet attached people. These are the type of people that the ‘hidden’ cheaters that don’t disclose their marital status might try and ‘catch out’ and try and meet, but those that DO disclose their status will try to avoid.
And there are few people saying 4, that it doesn’t matter. These are the type of people that attached people who do disclose their marital status might try and meet.
So yes, the OP is right as “single” people would also get a look in with the group that said 4, so attached people who admit to it up front have a smaller pool of people to choose from when seeking meets.
But everyone already knew that beforehand anyway!
However, there is still a sizeable pool of people scoring 3 or 4 prepared to meet attached. And that’s why many choose to say they’re married on here - so they only meet people that are fully informed and consenting to meet people who cheat and hence avoid unnecessary drama and conflict.
So isn’t it actually better to disclose your status then OP?
Avoid upsetting those that don’t want to meet you, and only seek meets from those that are happy to meet you?
It's a small sample and some people gave more than one number, but thus far the percentage scores are as follows
Won't meet marrieds 26%
Less likely to meet marrieds 21%
More likely to meet marrieds 12%
No difference 41%
So, it is, on the whole a disadvantage saying you are openly attached. Nearly four times as many are put off by attached people as are attracted to them.
Or looked at another way, you more or less half your pool of likely meets if you say you are attached. "
Yeah but I doubt that’s any great revelation to anyone. Loads of people write in big block capitals on their profiles NO MARRIED PEOPLE. I think all attached people who declare that on their profile know full well that it will limit their chances.
With the very limited sample so far, over half (53%) still say they’d meet. And 21%, although less likely, aren’t saying a definite no. Just that the logistics can be difficult.
So only one in 4 respondents so far have said definitely NO. 3 in 4 might, with 1 in 2 saying it doesn’t matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
"
He's the cheater not her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
He's the cheater not her. "
Totally
Didn’t say she was
I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.
Woman who knew he was married.
Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
"
Why its his choice not to disclose
And loyalties are often misinterpreted
As for the woman some women dont look out for each other
If a person wants to cheat they will no matter how good the cake is at home
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
He's the cheater not her.
Totally
Didn’t say she was
I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.
Woman who knew he was married.
Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes. "
That's not good at all. Some times it's not that black and white though. If you thought your marriage was alive and well then it's a bad job. But like you said a dead marriage that has no chance of resuscitation is a different picture. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
He's the cheater not her.
Totally
Didn’t say she was
I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.
Woman who knew he was married.
Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes. "
It's nothing to do with her, she's not obligated to anyone so really she can fuck who she wants |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And I guess going on from that, i was pretty disgusted with the woman that slept with my ex.
Knowing he has a wife and kids I think it’s wank.
His loyalties should have been with me granted and he made that choice I get that.
But what happened to looking out for other woman.
He's the cheater not her.
Totally
Didn’t say she was
I’m not laying the blame with the woman I’m simple saying it wrecked my life. My 33 year marriage in the bin.
Woman who knew he was married.
Sorry in my book it’s not ok and maybe that’s not a popular opinion but try walking in my shoes.
It's nothing to do with her, she's not obligated to anyone so really she can fuck who she wants "
I guess my morals are stronger then hers.
I can cope with that |
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