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As a blackman/woman, I'm always fetished. Racism in the bedroom
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Going by what I've been messages I'm going to say some black men like being a fetish.
I was asked if I want his nigger cock, only last week. How does one reply to that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Going by what I've been messages I'm going to say some black men like being a fetish.
I was asked if I want his nigger cock, only last week. How does one reply to that?"
The same way I reply when guys ask for my nigger pussy
Report and block  |
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I found the analogy of Herbert Samuels very interesting. And I totally agree with what she said. Sex is just more than just sex in some cases. The symbolism invovles in some black/white scenarios are really important, more important the sexual act itself.
Which makes me question this very specific so called 'preference'.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up "
what do you think about the content of the article OP?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up "
I've just read it, I can't comment on the black male perspective for obvious reasons
But 100% of what she said about black women/how were treated is true.
Especially this part "Many black women are aware of being seen through this stereotype-laden lens, in turn making them feel suspicious of the men who do approach them." |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I found the article a little.bit conflicting. Yes you can't get aware from the horrors of the past with regards to rascism but the conflict came where you have women or men, especially men who use the colour of there skins as a unique selling point. So if that is the case, can they cry foul and play the racist card? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found the article a little.bit conflicting. Yes you can't get aware from the horrors of the past with regards to rascism but the conflict came where you have women or men, especially men who use the colour of there skins as a unique selling point. So if that is the case, can they cry foul and play the racist card?"
It's not about being conflicting some men are happy to use the stereotypes to their advantage and some men arent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no issue with our fetishes and fascinations for each other. Just don't be disrespectful or mean to each other. Sexual fantasies is a strange playground and people want to fuck or be fucked by all sorts. I don't mind being a fetish as long as I'm treated as a person and respected. I have my own fetishes too. |
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"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up
I've just read it, I can't comment on the black male perspective for obvious reasons
But 100% of what she said about black women/how were treated is true.
Especially this part "Many black women are aware of being seen through this stereotype-laden lens, in turn making them feel suspicious of the men who do approach them.""
As a white guy I'm hesitant to express this clumsily but I've seen the argument that black women are more beautiful or curvy or whatever so it's a preference like for tall or blonde etc. That doesn't hold up for me because there's an inherent assumption that black women are all basically the same. So yes, it's fetishism and basically racist I think.
The fact that some black people play on it is irrelevant because the assumption is not about the individuals but about all.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up
I've just read it, I can't comment on the black male perspective for obvious reasons
But 100% of what she said about black women/how were treated is true.
Especially this part "Many black women are aware of being seen through this stereotype-laden lens, in turn making them feel suspicious of the men who do approach them."
As a white guy I'm hesitant to express this clumsily but I've seen the argument that black women are more beautiful or curvy or whatever so it's a preference like for tall or blonde etc. That doesn't hold up for me because there's an inherent assumption that black women are all basically the same. So yes, it's fetishism and basically racist I think.
The fact that some black people play on it is irrelevant because the assumption is not about the individuals but about all.
"
I do agree to be fair |
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Surely it cannot be classed as either a fetish or racism. Some people find Black Men or Women attractive. Others don't. I think a lot of Eastern European girls are very attractive. Does that make them a fetish to me? Of course not, it just means their physical appearance is appealing to me.
There may also be a misconception that black men all have bigger willys. A lady friend of mine who has seen more than her share of cocks over the years assures me they are not. Apparently Ginger haired guys in her experience were the best endowed. |
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"Surely it cannot be classed as either a fetish or racism. Some people find Black Men or Women attractive. Others don't. I think a lot of Eastern European girls are very attractive. Does that make them a fetish to me? Of course not, it just means their physical appearance is appealing to me.
There may also be a misconception that black men all have bigger willys. A lady friend of mine who has seen more than her share of cocks over the years assures me they are not. Apparently Ginger haired guys in her experience were the best endowed."
Making an assumption or choice based on colour of a whole grouo rather than individuality is by definition racist. |
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An interesting article but I get a sense that it was in some ways unbalanced and that she went to BMFC to affirm preconceived ideas.
BMFC in not just for white women into black men. As with other interracial events. I have been to BMFC a number of times over the years and have seen women of other races including black women in attendance.
We live in a white country so by definition the proportion of white women attending is always going to be higher. As for fetishisation that can't be helped, I think we all do it one way or another. As long as people do things with their eyes open its not for me to judge. My own view has always been that I don't particularly mind if me being black excites someone as long as I am seen as a person first. If I ever got the impression that a woman or couple were overly fixated on my colour or the size of my cock, which by the way is average in size, they went directly to my reject list.
Of more worry to me is the articles mention of dating sites and the lack of interest in black women. Back when I was single I became aware of this. My lack of success on dating sites was in sharp contrast to my respectable success with women on here. I did research of my own and discovered that as with black women, on traditional dating sites women are much less likely to consider black men as a partner in a conventional relationship.
This saddened me on a number of levels. More so for my ex who is black and my daughter. As for me. Well I am fortunate to have found a loving partner who loves me for who I am and I have no doubt that it is not a coincidence that none of the white women I have been close to are exclusively into black men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/13/black-woman-always-fetishised-racism-in-bedroom.
Interesting read.
What do we think? Is it true, made up "
Formerly on in mixed couple, with mixed partner. Deffo men fetishised her. She didn't have a problem with it as this is in many respects a fantasy site for self absorbed people. |
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"Surely it cannot be classed as either a fetish or racism. Some people find Black Men or Women attractive. Others don't. I think a lot of Eastern European girls are very attractive. Does that make them a fetish to me? Of course not, it just means their physical appearance is appealing to me.
There may also be a misconception that black men all have bigger willys. A lady friend of mine who has seen more than her share of cocks over the years assures me they are not. Apparently Ginger haired guys in her experience were the best endowed.
Making an assumption or choice based on colour of a whole grouo rather than individuality is by definition racist. "
Thats not how the Oxford Dictionary sees it: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/racism
I don't see myself as superior to anyone else. Finding certain physical attributes more attractive than others is simple biology.
By your theory, a straight man not finding another man attractive would be sexism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It happens and it’s annoying as shit.
There’s a big difference between those who find me attractive because they’re genuinely interested VS those who find me attractive because of my race. The race fetish people use weird language and comments about my race all the time. It’s like they get off on the fact that they’re racists doing something they shouldn’t do. Weird.
That being said though I am a massive hypocrite and if someone really fit gets off on it then I’ll play it to my advantage and have my way with them haha
So... it’s complicated   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Going by what I've been messages I'm going to say some black men like being a fetish.
I was asked if I want his nigger cock, only last week. How does one reply to that?
The same way I reply when guys ask for my nigger pussy
Report and block "
My initial reaction was, pardon?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve just read the article by Afua Hirsch. Some Black Men love to be fetished, some don’t. Black men are more than just a BBC and a fuck. We are highly educated, intelligent, great sense of humour and hold fantastic jobs too. We need to look past BBC to know the Man behind the “dick”. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I’ve just read the article by Afua Hirsch. Some Black Men love to be fetished, some don’t. Black men are more than just a BBC and a fuck. We are highly educated, intelligent, great sense of humour and hold fantastic jobs too. We need to look past BBC to know the Man behind the “dick”. "
I agree... but nothing will change unless people stop playing up to stereotypes
its a two way street... guys will only change if they see no benefit from playing up... couples will only change if they see it can turn off the very people they are trying to attract! |
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"It happens and it’s annoying as shit.
There’s a big difference between those who find me attractive because they’re genuinely interested VS those who find me attractive because of my race. The race fetish people use weird language and comments about my race all the time. It’s like they get off on the fact that they’re racists doing something they shouldn’t do. Weird.
That being said though I am a massive hypocrite and if someone really fit gets off on it then I’ll play it to my advantage and have my way with them haha
So... it’s complicated "
Complicated, you can say that again. Fortunately those that overly fetishise often stick out like a sore thumb. Instead of engaging in conversation their conversation opener is often how big is your cock or how many white women have you fucked.
However as mentioned in my previous contribution I won't hold it against someone if my skin colour is an attraction to them. so long as it is just one of a number of things and not the overwhelming motivator.
We are all influenced by what surrounds us. Were this not true advertising as a concept would not exist. If something or someone is considered exotic or taboo, for some it/they will always be a source of curiosity or desire.
For example, although I am very open about it I am not fully at ease with my relatively recently discovered bi side. I think a part of me wrestles with it and thinks its wrong. Probably why it feels soooooo damn getting my cock sucked by guys and often returning the favour. Its complicated. |
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I’ve lost count of the number of times my blacking swinging friends have shown me messages saying can we because you’re black in the first contact.
It’s racist, sad and pathetic.
Thing is if I didn’t see them then I wouldn’t understand how deeply ingrained in some people these beliefs are.
Skin colour or tone should have nothing to do with whether you like someone. I wasn’t surprised to read the dating site refund comment though.
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By *andemanMan
over a year ago
bedforshire |
"Going by what I've been messages I'm going to say some black men like being a fetish.
I was asked if I want his nigger cock, only last week. How does one reply to that?
The same way I reply when guys ask for my nigger pussy
Report and block "
They say what!?!? OMG! That is appaling truely vile. No one should be subjected to such shit! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Going by what I've been messages I'm going to say some black men like being a fetish.
I was asked if I want his nigger cock, only last week. How does one reply to that?
The same way I reply when guys ask for my nigger pussy
Report and block "
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