FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Second chances
Second chances
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I appreciate we have probably all been messed about on here by people, cancelling & not showing up for arranged meets. If someone gives what appears to be a genuine excuse do you give them another chance??? I’m so fed up with it & my second chances seem just to give people the opportunity to shit on me again!! It’s really wearing thin  ( |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They'd have to be pretty special and with a convincing excuse to get a second chance here. It depends though how much notice they give, I mean cancelling a date several days ahead isn't like cancelling at the very last minute.
So many lovely women here inclined to give guys second chances. Thought provoking. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x"
Yes and that’s the worry, you give them a second chance & then might meet but from then on always entirely on their terms, ugh. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"They'd have to be pretty special and with a convincing excuse to get a second chance here. It depends though how much notice they give, I mean cancelling a date several days ahead isn't like cancelling at the very last minute.
So many lovely women here inclined to give guys second chances. Thought provoking."
It takes time to find guys who appeal to me so I am quite likely to rearrange if they've had to cancel on me   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x
Yes and that’s the worry, you give them a second chance & then might meet but from then on always entirely on their terms, ugh."
No. If you've given them a second chance they owe you. It's their turn to do some running around to prove they are worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've had loads of guys mess me around, usually turn up the first time as planned then think they can do what they like, it's a shame but expected, I am used to it x
Yes and that’s the worry, you give them a second chance & then might meet but from then on always entirely on their terms, ugh.
No. If you've given them a second chance they owe you. It's their turn to do some running around to prove they are worth it."
Thank you. Love your profile & pics by the way xx |
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We have given people 2nd chances before,if we know them and its a genuine reason.
We would be more cynical with new people,and if we did give a second chance,it would be up to them to rearrange etc.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of you ladies posting here seem to have met (or more precisely NOT met) some right idiots...though it seems there are more and more of them here lately.
Reflects badly on the rest of us who do meet... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I've usually got to know people that I plan on meeting meet well enough (through messages etc) to have a degree of confidence that if they are cancelling/postponing they're doing so for a genuine reason and would therefore not have a problem re-arranging. However if it was a continual thing I'd probably give up after it had happened a few times. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!"
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book "
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!"
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"I appreciate we have probably all been messed about on here by people, cancelling & not showing up for arranged meets. If someone gives what appears to be a genuine excuse do you give them another chance??? I’m so fed up with it & my second chances seem just to give people the opportunity to shit on me again!! It’s really wearing thin ("
You know what they say
If you always do what you’ve always done. You will always get what you always got.
Think about what your doing and where it’s not working for you. Change what your doing. It’s not about second chances it’s about getting a system that works for you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They'd have to be pretty special and with a convincing excuse to get a second chance here. It depends though how much notice they give, I mean cancelling a date several days ahead isn't like cancelling at the very last minute.
So many lovely women here inclined to give guys second chances. Thought provoking."
This is my approach too. Definitely no more chances after the 2nd time though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly "
Yes thanks, this my approach too now because you know you have a genuine person if they are still chatting in a week or twos time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I appreciate we have probably all been messed about on here by people, cancelling & not showing up for arranged meets. If someone gives what appears to be a genuine excuse do you give them another chance??? I’m so fed up with it & my second chances seem just to give people the opportunity to shit on me again!! It’s really wearing thin ("
no second chance , invite me instead .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly "
Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'? |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly
Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?"
Of course I can't other than to say my instincts have been 100% right so far and that has come out of building mutual trust and respect with the people concerned to be as certain as I can be that they would be honest with me if they had to postpone a meet. Think we're getting into semantics now though  |
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"I appreciate we have probably all been messed about on here by people, cancelling & not showing up for arranged meets. If someone gives what appears to be a genuine excuse do you give them another chance??? I’m so fed up with it & my second chances seem just to give people the opportunity to shit on me again!! It’s really wearing thin ("
Sorry, in seven years I can honestly say I've never been messed about. The men I meet have quick changing priorities and I realise they may need to cancel.
When I was working I'd always have a plan b. So I'd take a flexiday to do my nails or work from home etc so my day wasn't wasted. I never needed a plan b.
It's not because I'm irresistible, but I think my approach was more laid back and my playmates realised I wasn't fussed in all honesty.
Some people get off messing others about, you have to decide whether you let them or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly
Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?
Of course I can't other than to say my instincts have been 100% right so far and that has come out of building mutual trust and respect with the people concerned to be as certain as I can be that they would be honest with me if they had to postpone a meet. Think we're getting into semantics now though "
No, we're getting into you backing up something that most people would think absurd on an internet site! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the situation, I got let down the other day and I'm not sure if I believe the story.
I myself had to let someone down a little while ago due to injury, but to prove it was true I took a selfie holding my x-ray with the date on it. Lucky for me he's giving me a second chance. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I get a sense it's genuine, and it's a few days in advance, then I may give a second chance, as life can get in the way.
But the guy is likely to go to the bottom of my hotlist!
If it's a guy I've previously met and know, I'm more forgiving. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly
Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?
Of course I can't other than to say my instincts have been 100% right so far and that has come out of building mutual trust and respect with the people concerned to be as certain as I can be that they would be honest with me if they had to postpone a meet. Think we're getting into semantics now though
No, we're getting into you backing up something that most people would think absurd on an internet site!"
Point is I don't need to prove a thing - I'm perfectly happy with the way I use the site and my instincts about the people I choose to meet and that is all that matters - if you choose to think that is absurd, that's your prerogative |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go with my gut. I've been let down many times, and most of them have then been blocked. Once or twice, you get the sense that the circumstances were genuinely mitigating and I've been happy to give them a second chance (invariably, that second chance has worked out really well!). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What's a 'genuine' reason when you know next to nothing about the giver? Guy cancelled last night because he had to babysit his brother, blocked!
To my point, by the time I am discussing meeting I've built up enough of a "feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.
To be honest if someone was cancelling but seeking to re-arrange another time (and that wasn't a recurring theme) I'd be pretty sure it was genuine too.
Life happens and always comes first in my book
You must have extraordinary powers of feel about relative strangers. And 99.9% under the circumstances is an absurdity!
Not an absurdity at all - nor do I consider those I arrange to meet relative strangers either - I just take my time getting to know people before I meet them and so far I've been 100% right
I think the problems come about when people swap a couple of messages and immediately arrange to meet - which there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing if that's how someone wants to use the site - just that method of meeting increases the chances of coming across time wasters significantly
Ok, I'll call you. Can you prove that your '"feel" for the person concerned to 99.9% know that whatever reason they give is genuine.'?
Of course I can't other than to say my instincts have been 100% right so far and that has come out of building mutual trust and respect with the people concerned to be as certain as I can be that they would be honest with me if they had to postpone a meet. Think we're getting into semantics now though
No, we're getting into you backing up something that most people would think absurd on an internet site!
Point is I don't need to prove a thing - I'm perfectly happy with the way I use the site and my instincts about the people I choose to meet and that is all that matters - if you choose to think that is absurd, that's your prerogative "
We'll add it to your notes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope one chance only why we blocked single guys as 15 out of 16 meets ended in no shows lol "
she hasn't mentioned about single guys how could jump n say single bla bla stop with the assumption couples n femals are worst
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it had to be based on circumstances.
If someone offers a cast iron guarantee that they will definantly meet, but then cancel at the time of meeting because of a vaguely plausible reason, I would be less inclined to agree a second time.
However, if the person says they might have a chance to meet, but something may come up, then they are in the second chance bracket.
In all fairness, I would only agree to meet someone I have been chatting to for some time, so I should have a fair idea about their reliability.
We see often enough posts about people having second thoughts or a gut feeling and cancelling last minute. Sometimes they are supported and told good on them...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone on hete has probably experienced at least one no show or other form of what's often described as a time waster...or even had for some reason to pull out of or rearrange a meet. Such things happen in fab and in life.
Perhaps it depends on the nature of the relationship...or the other party involved
But are second chances really always such a bad thing.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on the person. If it was a regular meet, then I'd definitely be more understanding. I've let my fwb down on a couple of occassions. Luckily he has been great about it and not blocked me. If it's a casual meet, I would probably not be as bothered and just move along. |
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