How many chances should you give someone who crosses a line?
I've been told I am too harsh at cutting people off for crossing lines... or rather cutting people off for crossing the line just once.
I can think of times I have given people 2 or 3 chances.... and each time it has come back to bite me in the arse. So now if someone does something out of order they get told "Bye".
I'll very rarely make the first move to rebuild a bridge once it has been broken... you know in those times when you have calmed down or forgotten about it. I think this is because I rarely rarely very very rarely if ever rarely (get the drift - it's rare) say things I don't mean.... even in the heat of the moment.
However, I have been known to accept an olive branch after a period of time - but off the top of my head those situations it has usually been a one-off line crossing.
Anyway - is it too harsh to cut people off for one misdemeanour? Even when they know they are crossing a line which will result in you being pissed off?
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Depends which line they cross, if its a "minor" infraction, perhaps being half an hour late for a meet without ringing to let you know, or a "major" infraction, erm.... I think I'll let y'all fill in your own here lol!
Also depends on whether they apologise, or if it was a genuine "accidental" fuck up without any deceite or deviousness.
Nobody is perfect (we make mistakes too), and we have friends that have let us down in the past, but we accept that things happen on occassion. However, if they keep happening, then perhaps its time to take a good long look at the situation and weigh up the pro's and cons.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many chances should you give someone who crosses a line?
I've been told I am too harsh at cutting people off for crossing lines... or rather cutting people off for crossing the line just once.
I can think of times I have given people 2 or 3 chances.... and each time it has come back to bite me in the arse. So now if someone does something out of order they get told "Bye".
I'll very rarely make the first move to rebuild a bridge once it has been broken... you know in those times when you have calmed down or forgotten about it. I think this is because I rarely rarely very very rarely if ever rarely (get the drift - it's rare) say things I don't mean.... even in the heat of the moment.
However, I have been known to accept an olive branch after a period of time - but off the top of my head those situations it has usually been a one-off line crossing.
Anyway - is it too harsh to cut people off for one misdemeanour? Even when they know they are crossing a line which will result in you being pissed off?
"
Everyone such be allowed a mistake and a second change.
What they do with that second chance, decides if they are worth or not. |
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"Depends which line they cross, if its a "minor" infraction, perhaps being half an hour late for a meet without ringing to let you know, or a "major" infraction, erm.... I think I'll let y'all fill in your own here lol!
Also depends on whether they apologise, or if it was a genuine "accidental" fuck up without any deceite or deviousness.
Nobody is perfect (we make mistakes too), and we have friends that have let us down in the past, but we accept that things happen on occassion. However, if they keep happening, then perhaps its time to take a good long look at the situation and weigh up the pro's and cons.
"
I don't think being late is crossing the line  .... shit happens.
My lines tend to be more about choices. Where someone had a choice to do A or B (or even C, D and so on)... and they choose B knowing it will piss you off, but still choose to do it anyway.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends which line they cross, if its a "minor" infraction, perhaps being half an hour late for a meet without ringing to let you know, or a "major" infraction, erm.... I think I'll let y'all fill in your own here lol!
Also depends on whether they apologise, or if it was a genuine "accidental" fuck up without any deceite or deviousness.
Nobody is perfect (we make mistakes too), and we have friends that have let us down in the past, but we accept that things happen on occassion. However, if they keep happening, then perhaps its time to take a good long look at the situation and weigh up the pro's and cons.
I don't think being late is crossing the line .... shit happens.
My lines tend to be more about choices. Where someone had a choice to do A or B (or even C, D and so on)... and they choose B knowing it will piss you off, but still choose to do it anyway.
"
Isn't it about education & whether the person learns from their mistakes? If they do then they deserve the opportunity to continue the friendship - if not then bye bye.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends which line they cross, if its a "minor" infraction, perhaps being half an hour late for a meet without ringing to let you know, or a "major" infraction, erm.... I think I'll let y'all fill in your own here lol!
Also depends on whether they apologise, or if it was a genuine "accidental" fuck up without any deceite or deviousness.
Nobody is perfect (we make mistakes too), and we have friends that have let us down in the past, but we accept that things happen on occassion. However, if they keep happening, then perhaps its time to take a good long look at the situation and weigh up the pro's and cons.
I don't think being late is crossing the line .... shit happens.
My lines tend to be more about choices. Where someone had a choice to do A or B (or even C, D and so on)... and they choose B knowing it will piss you off, but still choose to do it anyway.
"
Isn't there an element of YOUR personal choice and knowledge/control of your own feelings and behaviour ( as a reasonable adult ) that allows you to decide whether something will piss you off or not? Difficult for me to comment without knowing the whole situation but I accept you can't say publicly. Also....I don't know the other party OR how important the A,B,C,or D thing is to them OR how reasonable your deciion to be pissed off about it is. It's a bit like being offended - sometimes people choose to be offended I don't offend them ... If you get what I mean. XxGranxX |
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