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Body Confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So my understanding on this is we all have insecurities about our bodies to various degrees, the negative view one has of their body is not necessarily the same as everyone elses. It's about learning to accept your insecurities and not let them influence and effect your life.
Anyway, my question is, how does someone learn to kick the Insecurities to the curb and learn to accept them. Does anyone have any advice on this subject?
It's a subject we talk about often in our relationship, and we would like to hear other people's advice or experience.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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right youre on the right site if you want to make yourself feel good and well sexy (applies to women) if you post a sexy pic of yourself on here (not even naked) youll have loads of guys fabbing your pics and messaging you which will make you feel better straight away. theres a nice satisfaction knowing loads of males see you as this sex icon, this site is good for that. so i say load a sexy pic and let the guys flock to you
for the males... well its difficult as their is a lot of competition but if you really want to make yourself feel good try and chat to a hot girl like a 10/10 and spark a decent convo instead of the usual "want to fuck" once youre in a decent convo youll realise that youre speaking to a hot girl and shes interested in you.
but then again what do i know...haha |
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"So my understanding on this is we all have insecurities about our bodies to various degrees, the negative view one has of their body is not necessarily the same as everyone elses. It's about learning to accept your insecurities and not let them influence and effect your life.
Anyway, my question is, how does someone learn to kick the Insecurities to the curb and learn to accept them. Does anyone have any advice on this subject?
It's a subject we talk about often in our relationship, and we would like to hear other people's advice or experience.
"
Being comfortable around new friends when in the “naughty naked nude” (as Ian Dury once sang) is the hardest part for all of us I think. All our insecurities are amplified...but as we gain experience in this lifestyle, something wonderful starts to happen. We see such physical variety in others that we start to accept ourselves for who we are inside, not the triviality that is physical “perfection”, whatever that is. Celebrate diversity in all its forms and concentrate on the greatest sexual organ of all - the mind.
Mwah to you OP...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice is to love your own imperfections.
Some imperfections we can work on like weight loss, weight gain, muscle strength etc..
The imperfections we can’t work on like height; you need to build confidence with yourself.
Everyone is unique otherwise we would all look the same.
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By *ason.Man
over a year ago
west yorkshire |
My recommendation might sound a bit out there but honestly give it a try will change your mind set.
Try visiting a nudist campsite/beach or anywhere else there are naked bodies.
Might be a bit strange for the first 5-10 mins but once you have got used to be naked and you realise nobody cares what you look like you become more at one with yourself.
Nobody there is gym fit or how the magazines say you should look there are big small lumps bumbs scars and nobody bats a eyelid and generally the most friendly folk you can come across.
Highly recommended anybody to try preferably on holiday as you do not know anyone for the first time. |
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By *i1971Man
over a year ago
Cornwall |
"My recommendation might sound a bit out there but honestly give it a try will change your mind set.
Try visiting a nudist campsite/beach or anywhere else there are naked bodies.
Might be a bit strange for the first 5-10 mins but once you have got used to be naked and you realise nobody cares what you look like you become more at one with yourself.
Nobody there is gym fit or how the magazines say you should look there are big small lumps bumbs scars and nobody bats a eyelid and generally the most friendly folk you can come across.
Highly recommended anybody to try preferably on holiday as you do not know anyone for the first time."
 This makes so much sense. |
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By *ason.Man
over a year ago
west yorkshire |
"I'm still trying to find a way to get past mine. I don't know what the secret is. Probably surrounding yourself with peoole who do know your worth. "
Don’t get too hung up on what you think people think about you or how you look
You are who you are
Be happy with yourself looks are skin deep |
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By *ason.Man
over a year ago
west yorkshire |
"My recommendation might sound a bit out there but honestly give it a try will change your mind set.
Try visiting a nudist campsite/beach or anywhere else there are naked bodies.
Might be a bit strange for the first 5-10 mins but once you have got used to be naked and you realise nobody cares what you look like you become more at one with yourself.
Nobody there is gym fit or how the magazines say you should look there are big small lumps bumbs scars and nobody bats a eyelid and generally the most friendly folk you can come across.
Highly recommended anybody to try preferably on holiday as you do not know anyone for the first time.
This makes so much sense. "
Try it for yourself
Be happy with who you are as it’s all in the mind
Nobody is completely happy with there body you have what you have and be thank full you are good and well and sod what people think as most of the time it’s in your mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm still trying to find a way to get past mine. I don't know what the secret is. Probably surrounding yourself with peoole who do know your worth. "
Same here, wish I could too. I have people I trust who tell me all the nice things, but I still can’t accept them myself  |
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By *ason.Man
over a year ago
west yorkshire |
Honestly looking at your pics
You all have nothing to worry about trust me
It’s all in the mind nobody is how they want to look but that’s what you have be proud
What you see in the mirror is not what everyone else see’s
A bit like hearing your voice when been filmed |
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"I'm still trying to find a way to get past mine. I don't know what the secret is. Probably surrounding yourself with peoole who do know your worth.
Same here, wish I could too. I have people I trust who tell me all the nice things, but I still can’t accept them myself "
Really? Can't see anything wrong, personally. Beautiful figure. But, you have hit the nail on the head. It is all in the mind and some of the trick is learning to be comfortable in your own skin and learning not to take to heart or live by what other people think of you. For most of us, a large part of our physical make up is determined for us. We can't change them. Sure, there are a couple of bits of my body that I would love to be different but that's how I was born and I have learned to accept that. The most important thing is you as a whole person. If you are loved and appreciated by others then that is the more important thing. Learn to accept that and trust that they are genuine and it won't be long before you are more comfortable with your body. It really doesn't matter who you are - there will always be someone that has either a better body than you or will aspects to their body that are better than you. No body is perfect so why worry too much about it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You get one life. One body. You either make the most of what you've got and live your life, or if you're unhappy then you try your best to change it, but don't let it consume you.
Life is too short. |
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By *ason.Man
over a year ago
west yorkshire |
"You get one life. One body. You either make the most of what you've got and live your life, or if you're unhappy then you try your best to change it, but don't let it consume you.
Life is too short."
Well put
Only here for a short while make the most of it
Enjoy now don’t regret later in life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no idea OP 
Ironically the older I get the less fucks I give 
I was much hotter, slimmer etc.. 20yrs ago - but I had zero confidence and wasted a lot of years on self hatred.
I would still like to be slimmer and toned and all the things that we're all hung up about - but it's all about how we feel - rarely about how we look.
I have a lot more time for other things now I'm not spending all my time worrying about how fat I am
You're a hot young couple - you'll do well on here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm still trying to find a way to get past mine. I don't know what the secret is. Probably surrounding yourself with peoole who do know your worth.
Same here, wish I could too. I have people I trust who tell me all the nice things, but I still can’t accept them myself
Really? Can't see anything wrong, personally. Beautiful figure. But, you have hit the nail on the head. It is all in the mind and some of the trick is learning to be comfortable in your own skin and learning not to take to heart or live by what other people think of you. For most of us, a large part of our physical make up is determined for us. We can't change them. Sure, there are a couple of bits of my body that I would love to be different but that's how I was born and I have learned to accept that. The most important thing is you as a whole person. If you are loved and appreciated by others then that is the more important thing. Learn to accept that and trust that they are genuine and it won't be long before you are more comfortable with your body. It really doesn't matter who you are - there will always be someone that has either a better body than you or will aspects to their body that are better than you. No body is perfect so why worry too much about it? "
Oh, I’m very selective over what pics I’ll post - and even then I’ll manage to convince myself that the ones I think are ok don’t look like me.
My issues are deep-rooted and I think probably only some kind of therapy would have any impact, a resolution to be kind to myself wouldn’t do it. I lost three stone last year and I think I’ll always be fat in my head, coupled with comments from well-meaning parents in my childhood (“Do I look ok?” “Oh, it doesn’t matter, nobody’s going to be looking at you.”
My basest fear is being ridiculed, and always in the back of my head is the thought that any compliment is given insincerely, and if I accept it graciously and they turned around and said they didn’t mean it then I’d die of embarrassment. Far better to remain self-deprecating.
I know it’s a sad state to be in, but it’s kind of where I’m stuck at. |
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"I'm still trying to find a way to get past mine. I don't know what the secret is. Probably surrounding yourself with peoole who do know your worth.
Same here, wish I could too. I have people I trust who tell me all the nice things, but I still can’t accept them myself
Really? Can't see anything wrong, personally. Beautiful figure. But, you have hit the nail on the head. It is all in the mind and some of the trick is learning to be comfortable in your own skin and learning not to take to heart or live by what other people think of you. For most of us, a large part of our physical make up is determined for us. We can't change them. Sure, there are a couple of bits of my body that I would love to be different but that's how I was born and I have learned to accept that. The most important thing is you as a whole person. If you are loved and appreciated by others then that is the more important thing. Learn to accept that and trust that they are genuine and it won't be long before you are more comfortable with your body. It really doesn't matter who you are - there will always be someone that has either a better body than you or will aspects to their body that are better than you. No body is perfect so why worry too much about it?
Oh, I’m very selective over what pics I’ll post - and even then I’ll manage to convince myself that the ones I think are ok don’t look like me.
My issues are deep-rooted and I think probably only some kind of therapy would have any impact, a resolution to be kind to myself wouldn’t do it. I lost three stone last year and I think I’ll always be fat in my head, coupled with comments from well-meaning parents in my childhood (“Do I look ok?” “Oh, it doesn’t matter, nobody’s going to be looking at you.”
My basest fear is being ridiculed, and always in the back of my head is the thought that any compliment is given insincerely, and if I accept it graciously and they turned around and said they didn’t mean it then I’d die of embarrassment. Far better to remain self-deprecating.
I know it’s a sad state to be in, but it’s kind of where I’m stuck at."
Very open and honest reply there. Brave.
Seems like you are part way there already though in that you acknowledge there is an issue and you want to change it. Without either of those the situation will never change. Also, well done you for taking control of your weight and doing something positive about it. That takes determination and will. So you have it!
The truth is, there will always be someone, somewhere who will ridicule. Sometimes it comes out of their own insecurities. You need to trust those closest to you and when they say you are fab then it is genuine. Take strength and comfort from that...
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We think the majority of people have body insecurities and parts about themselves they don't like, is included.
However in the swinging world, we haven't experienced anyone getting naked and running in the opposite direction.
Sexiness is in the mind, and being confident about yourself. We think confidence is a thing that grows with age, learning to accept you are who you are, and if anyone doesn't like the way you are, then don't let them matter to you.
When in the moments of intimacy, who actually notices anyone's wobbly bits, operation scars etc, we are too wrapped up in the moment.
Learn to be happy with who you are, we are all unique, and that's a good thing. |
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I used to have a lot of insecurities. And won't ever go on a date or see a girl. Cos I used to hate myself. The way I look and everything. But now I accept the way I look. With clothes on. Still hate myself naked, my moobs, my stretch marks. So no one will see me naked for a long time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all your input guys, we enjoyed reading all your replies and experiences.
Her is very socially outgoing, confident and an independent women. Me on the other hand, when it comes to social situations, I'm quiet, not massively confident and prefer to stand back from the spotlight.
It's funny how the mind works, when it comes to body confidence we are at other ends of the spectrums to our social confidence .I have insecurities but they have never been a problem for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm no Adonis, but I have never worried what people think. I've always been built like a streak of piss. Society accepts calling someone skinny but it isn't considered ok to call someone fat. Perhaps years of being called skinny has had a positive effect and numbed me from the worry of what people think.
Her has a negative view of her body, and worries about other peoples view of her. I find it hard to understand, as to me she is stunning, and I have never been affected to that degree. She has the "ideal body" image in her head which society has imprinted, through media and fashion. One thing this site has shown is beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and that there is no "ideal".
We are all beautiful, individual and unique. That's the beauty of the human race.
Cheers
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