FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > "Slut" as a label - Discuss

"Slut" as a label - Discuss

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Today I had the pleasure of being called a fucking slut by some guy simply because I didn't respond to his emails as quickly as he liked. It got me thinking, I see a lot of people talking about their "slutty wife" etc and I wonder how do you ladies feel about that label?

Personally I hate it. Why? Because the idea is that if a man loves sex he his normal, yet if a woman acts the same way, she is somehow a "slut". A disparaging and offensive term thrown at women who are as sexually liberated as men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fundementalist feminist, nor do I feel people should not be free to label themselves how they choose, I'm simply interested in how you ladies feel being routinely referred to as a slut.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *i fem huntersCouple  over a year ago

london

Guys often act like little kids and throw tantrums if they cant get what they want. Leave them to grow up and be the sexually liberated woman that you are!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I hate it.. words don’t usually bother me but I hate slut/slag .. hateful and disrespectful words

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's not for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan  over a year ago

salisbury

If its pillow talk I'm all for it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *egin551Couple  over a year ago

south west !

Hate the word, it’s that simple

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ameoneMan  over a year ago

nottingham

I had a similar thread on this...it really depends on how a word is used, hope I'm trying to make sense here, some times calling a girl a dirty little slut can b a turn on for both man n woman...but if it used as an abuse then definitely it's not something nice n to be proud of as we should respect women. Oh and no blonde yr really hot...??

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

nor me....but context is all....i can see the difference in using it knowing its turning someone on, and when its deliberately demeaning and disrespectful

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hubaysiWoman  over a year ago

Leeds

I hate the term! It’s distespectful.

Guys who message the word as an insult need to be blocked!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I regard myself as a slut, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t like it when the word is used abusively though.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Today I had the pleasure of being called a fucking slut by some guy simply because I didn't respond to his emails as quickly as he liked. It got me thinking, I see a lot of people talking about their "slutty wife" etc and I wonder how do you ladies feel about that label?

Personally I hate it. Why? Because the idea is that if a man loves sex he his normal, yet if a woman acts the same way, she is somehow a "slut". A disparaging and offensive term thrown at women who are as sexually liberated as men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fundementalist feminist, nor do I feel people should not be free to label themselves how they choose, I'm simply interested in how you ladies feel being routinely referred to as a slut."

a sluts a slut whether its a guy or a woman its a derogatory expression and only people with no manners use that expression along with many others I'm afraid ,its all about choices I suppose but at least you found out before it went any further

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No I'm certainly not a fan

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ldhillhotwifeCouple  over a year ago

Old Hill


"I regard myself as a slut, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t like it when the word is used abusively though.

Mrs"

Agree with the above and the pillow talk comment. So depends on the context, wouldn't appreciate being called a slut by someone outside of the lifestyle who was using it as an act of abuse.

Sx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

its a horrid name to call some one

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My slut sense is tingling.

TSH

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think men find it a turn on and I don't mind men calling me a slut in bed

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I can be a complete slut in the bedroom. I don't particularly like strangers calling me a slut.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Unless you've discussed agreed boundaries before hand and know the partner likes it, its cool. But any other time its rude and disrespectful.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *radleywigginsMan  over a year ago

northwest

I think there's a cohort of women who love the term.. I suppose they see it as confirmation of their ability to exhibit their freedom to express their sexuality.

Personally I wouldn't want to leave a meet thinking a girl was actually a slut, or her feeling like she was..

Usually the term is used in a manner which is consistent and appropriate to the situation, but in a sense of fantasy..

But I'm delighted if I have been able to create an environment where someone has felt completely safe to enjoy living out their 'slut fantasies'. I'd be worried if she still felt like a 'slut' by the time we'd finished a cup of tea though. Behaving like a slut as part of any given scenario is very different to losing respect for a person or oneself..

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I wouldn’t dream of calling a woman a slut unless invited to do so

There are plenty of women on here who describe themselves as sluts or express a desire to be treated like a slut so, in that case, I’m happy to consider that as role-play

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Slut can be used for guys too.

Reading the ethical slut at the moment...good book.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There is a book called "The Ethical Slut" well worth reading.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I'm happy for Fred to call me a slut occasionally during sex, but it's essentially role play. I wouldn't enjoy being called it every time we have sex.

I don't really know how I'd describe a slut outside of the scenario above if I was pushed, I tend to think of it as a derogatory term used by a man to describe a woman that won't have sex with him. Or by a woman used to describe another woman that is having sex with a man the first woman would like to have sex with - if that makes sense??

I don't like the word slag either.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I dont like the name slut in any context .... just my opinion

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rustratedmissWoman  over a year ago

York

Hate it! Can't ever envision it being a turn on for me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hechairman18Man  over a year ago

Salford Quays , Manchester


"If its pillow talk I'm all for it. "

This

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *queekyCheesyCouple  over a year ago

newark

Mrs and i love it in the sense of our bdsm dynamic.. plus "who's being a greedy little good girl" freaks me out through making me feel deeply like a pervert.

Outside of our dynamic, don't hate it but if we saw a random guy call a woman a slut she would kick him in the balls and i would follow up with a harder version

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is there a male synonym for the word, as its connotation doesn't truly apply the same in a male context to me.

As above, my wife wants me to use these words in a roleplay dom/sub scenario. I would never ever consider using the word in any other context.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *uicy72Woman  over a year ago

North Colchester

Disgusting word ! Hate it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Interesting... used as a derogatory term but personally if I fit the definition of slut then I'm gonna own it!! Not that I'd appreciate being called that day to day.. during sex however I like being called names

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

When I use it. It is as a term of endearment.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

For me, I hate the term. It may be reclaimed by a minority, but to the majority it is a derogatory term implying a females morals are weak because she enjoys the same sexual freedoms as a male. In that sense "slut" used in whatever context, reinforces the social oppression of females.

I feel my opinion is somewhat unique due to being born trans. Being raised as a male, I was taught to enjoy sexual freedom. I see no reason to change now that I'm physically and socially the female I've always been. Yet, that same sexual behaviour will now see me labelled as moral weak by the society which once encouraged me, simply because I now have a vagina.

In short "slut" is a term steeped sexism and misogyny.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *dwalu2Couple  over a year ago

Bristol


"For me, I hate the term. It may be reclaimed by a minority, but to the majority it is a derogatory term implying a females morals are weak because she enjoys the same sexual freedoms as a male. In that sense "slut" used in whatever context, reinforces the social oppression of females.

"

You have got yourself a bit mixed up here, and as a consequence you’ve come to a flawed conclusion.

A term having a derogatory meaning for the majority does not preclude a minority from using the same term in a celebratory way, nor also enjoying subverting the term’s derogatory nature, or simply consensually enjoying its derogatory intent.

So it does not ‘reinforce the social oppression of females in whatever context’. Context is, in fact, precisely what can prevent the term from being a tool of social oppression.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *laytimenowMan  over a year ago

Essex


"Interesting... used as a derogatory term but personally if I fit the definition of slut then I'm gonna own it!! Not that I'd appreciate being called that day to day.. during sex however I like being called names "

You be my kind of slut x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Call my wife a slut in the bedroom and you'll be fine. Use it as a term of abuse and you'll need an ambulance!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would call a women what I wouldn’t like to be called. Solution for all problems

But everyone is different so problem is there still

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *hortieWoman  over a year ago

Northampton

If a guy replied to me the way he did to you... I'd block and not have any contact with him again.

Not sure why you need to ask the Q.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *itch and TwatCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

Obviously context is crucial...certainly not in a derogatory way, as a term of abuse, or if it isn’t acceptable to the person it’s directed at.

However, if it is used by the person themselves, or if it is acceptable within that relationship, then it’s a bit like other terms used in the fuggle world: there’s a site called Lids for Yids for example where you can buy the skull caps worn by Jewish men...

Bitch and Twat have a friend called Slut. She named herself...and we’re rather fond of her.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple  over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"I regard myself as a slut, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t like it when the word is used abusively though.

Mrs"

This. It depends on the context

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *abcouple11Couple  over a year ago

Truro

Many of us - male and female - like like the image of being a "slut"

Problem is certainly in English there are so few words relating to sex - physical and emotional aspects - which makes many concepts you have to deal with very hard to have a discussion about. The shortage is so noticeable. Misuse some of those very few words associating them with negative connotations and you really are "painted into a corner".

Example is when you are discussing a cunt. If you are a sex-positive person, you absolutely cannot visualise how someone could suggest something undesirable by using the name of something so wonderful, but seemingly in much of society this is the case - sad and profoundly messed-up!!!

When I had a new ladyfriend a while back, I referred to her cunt and there was a pause before she said "Would you like to rephrase that?". She had no prior experience of referring to a cunt as a cunt.

We have to be a bit thick-skinned at the moment, knowing the true meaning of words like "slut", "cunt", etc, and disengaging when someone is misusing precious terms.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"If a guy replied to me the way he did to you... I'd block and not have any contact with him again.

Not sure why you need to ask the Q. "

He has been blocked and reported. The question is asked out of curiosity not need.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A bit childish just because they don't reply or say no i just take it on the chin and move on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *_Yeah19Couple  over a year ago

Lincoln

Certainly all about the context for me too. Perfectly happy to be called a slutty princess in the bedroom or anywhere by SSS, but in any other context, not so keen.

Been listening to a great podcast lately called Guys We Fucked which is all about anti slut shaming which makes a lot of sense and strikes some chords with me.

TB

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I personally don't like it in any context. I understand that some enjoy it, depending on the circumstances in which the term is used, but I'm definitely not one of them.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rLucky777Man  over a year ago

Leeds

I don’t really like the term. I would never say it to a girl outside the bedroom.

I’ve been asked to call girls slut during sex and used to feel quite uncomfortable saying it. Especially calling somebody’s wife a slut while fucking her hard in front of their husband!

In the moment though it’s can be quite hot but there’s a fine line for sure depending on who your with.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *londie8399Couple  over a year ago

blackpool

Don't like the words slut or slag

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ugarspice7Couple  over a year ago

ilkeston

I use it as a pet name for my wife. and she calls me whore bag.but she would be offended if someone else called it her and so would i .looked it up on google and it says a women who has many sexual partners so i suppose it applies to men aswell.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *agneto.Man  over a year ago

Bham

It is a bit of a mine field the old slut label. Some couples refer to the female as the slut or a slut, but then when you use it as an outsider, it doesn't quite sound right.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

During sex or in the build up to it Tom will call me his slut/bitch. I love it tbh, treated like a bitch in the bedroom but as a princess any other time.

Tom can, but god forbid anyone else try it.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ringles0510Woman  over a year ago

Central Borders


"Guys often act like little kids and throw tantrums if they cant get what they want. Leave them to grow up and be the sexually liberated woman that you are!"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"

A term having a derogatory meaning for the majority does not preclude a minority from using the same term in a celebratory way, nor also enjoying subverting the term’s derogatory nature, or simply consensually enjoying its derogatory intent.

"

That is a given as I said, everyone is free. However a minority is only a small part of wider society, and therefore it is the majorities use of the word that holds meaning from a social context.


"

So it does not ‘reinforce the social oppression of females in whatever context’. Context is, in fact, precisely what can prevent the term from being a tool of social oppression.

"

You're confusing a minority definition with societal definition. Also, the fact that a couple enjoy the derogatory and negative aspects of the word, does not disclude their use from reinforcing the mainstream societal meaning applied to the word. it just means they enjoy that meaning.

In the end, a male is trained by social conditioning to be promiscuous and to enjoy that promiscuity. The more conquests he makes, the more of a "stud" he is. A term steeped in praise and veneration.

A female is trained by social conditioning to be monogamous and to serve her (male) partner. The more "partners" she has, the more of a "slut" she is. A term steeped in disapproval and vilification.

Slut, used in any context, even pleasurably between lovers, still reinforces the view that a sexually promiscuous female is morally inferior to a sexually promiscuous male.

Personally, I never enjoy being slut shamed. Especially from a lover.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan  over a year ago

salisbury


"I can be a complete slut in the bedroom. I don't particularly like strangers calling me a slut."

You wouldn't expect it from the cashier at the local supermarket for example!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I feel it can only be used towards me if I have given permission, which would only be given to the right person and in the right circumstances. Other than than then it is derogatory and offensive.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Context and connotation.

There is a demeaning aspect to the word slut. But, for me, there is also a sexy aspect to it. If it's meant in the demeaning way, then I don't appreciate it. If it's meant in the sexy way, then I find it a turn on. Although I can only think of a handful of people I'd be ok hearing it from.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport

Oxford dictionary defines slut as "A woman who has many casual sexual partners."

Use that as your definition and there are quite a few sluts on fab.

Just saying

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Obviously in the throws of passion many women love you to talk really dirty and use terminology such as slut

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don't like the word used at me but it doesn't bother me. Why let it hurt you?

They could be saying you're a slut or a tinsel or a bread roll or a dandelion. It's just a word. Think of it that way and it loses the meaning they intend.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously in the throws of passion many women love you to talk really dirty and use terminology such as slut "

I'm not sure that it is 'many' women

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think some women enjoy the term slutty used in context but to refer to them as a slut can often sound offensive.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport

Some of us men get called sluts too

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"Some of us men get called sluts too "

Yeah but some of you men like it too.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rozacMan  over a year ago

london

I only use slut in a complimentary context. Too your face, in the moment, otherwise it could be misconstrued.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport


"Some of us men get called sluts too

Yeah but some of you men like it too. "

All right who's been talking?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"Oxford dictionary defines slut as "A woman who has many casual sexual partners."

Use that as your definition and there are quite a few sluts on fab.

Just saying "

Busted

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport


"Oxford dictionary defines slut as "A woman who has many casual sexual partners."

Use that as your definition and there are quite a few sluts on fab.

Just saying

Busted "

Yes indeed! You are beyond redemption

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *iversong321Woman  over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

Don't let it get to you OP. The irony is obviously lost on him that 'a slut' had turned him down. Says way more about him than you.

(Not that I think you are a slut - tho if you wanna be ....hello )

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I dislike the terms slit, slag etc and wouldn't be interested in anyone who referred to me in that way, regardless of the context.

Other women will have no issues with it, and some enjoy being called a slut.

Each to their own.

Nita

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe

*slut

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"*slut"

Slit was better

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *itch and TwatCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes

I prefer the French word “putain”...but that’s probably because my French is quite poor...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple  over a year ago

South Wales


"Guys often act like little kids and throw tantrums if they cant get what they want. Leave them to grow up and be the sexually liberated woman that you are!"

Exactly this.

Fab has too many guys either looking for relief from sexless unsatisfying relationships, or single guys who find it difficult to get laid in real life.

They should look at the common denominator in their problem - Themselves.

If they weren't such arseholes they wouldn't need to slime around Fab where, ironically, they stand as little chance as they do in real life.

I stress not all men obviously. There are plenty of diamonds amongst the dust.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth

Well I’ve just been made to feel like one and it doesn’t feel good played with a guy on Friday and we’d made plans to meet again today. Got a snotty message off him this morning saying I’d had enough fun - yesterday I went into chat on cam and got a cam veri from some kind people who indulged my passion for talking about cycling. Apparently getting a veri yesterday and assuming a previously arranged meet is going ahead is, in as many words, slutty.

Not that I should have to, but not even a chance to explain.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Interesting... used as a derogatory term but personally if I fit the definition of slut then I'm gonna own it!! Not that I'd appreciate being called that day to day.. during sex however I like being called names "

This

It’s just a word, during sex is highly erotic any other time then they may know me well ....slutsrus - get liberated ...screw what anyone else says x

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *alandNitaCouple  over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"*slut

Slit was better "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *reedy_for_funCouple  over a year ago

My House

I absolutely love being called slut when I'm being just that. Spit on me, slap me, call me names, whatever, I love it all

It's just sex people, nothing more, nothing less.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lackbird1000Woman  over a year ago

Birmingham

I don't like either in those terms you explained OP! I been called fucking cunt for the same reasons! And the excuse is because this a shag site ! Hello but I decide who I shag! But I blocked and move on and made a note! This cunt will never fuck me!!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Interesting... used as a derogatory term but personally if I fit the definition of slut then I'm gonna own it!! Not that I'd appreciate being called that day to day.. during sex however I like being called names

This

It’s just a word, during sex is highly erotic any other time then they may know me well ....slutsrus - get liberated ...screw what anyone else says x "

The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been created to demean and shame women into behaving in a certain way. I don't find it a liberating word at all, regardless of whether someone owns it or not. I find it quite the opposite. The ultimate liberation would be if it were no longer an accepted term. I'm sure others will disagree, but that's my personal take on it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester


"Today I had the pleasure of being called a fucking slut by some guy simply because I didn't respond to his emails as quickly as he liked. It got me thinking, I see a lot of people talking about their "slutty wife" etc and I wonder how do you ladies feel about that label?

Personally I hate it. Why? Because the idea is that if a man loves sex he his normal, yet if a woman acts the same way, she is somehow a "slut". A disparaging and offensive term thrown at women who are as sexually liberated as men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fundementalist feminist, nor do I feel people should not be free to label themselves how they choose, I'm simply interested in how you ladies feel being routinely referred to as a slut."

The word is used in two contexts .

When it was used in hate as in your case it’s disgusting .

But my wife is a sexy slut when we go out , and in this context we love it .

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like being labelled slut

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Call my wife a slut in the bedroom and you'll be fine. Use it as a term of abuse and you'll need an ambulance!!"

This.

As someone already said, context is everything.

I've recently embraced what I call my 'slut side,' and I'll now often refer to myself as a 'slut boy' if I'm feeling ultra-submissive...

Likewise, I've always refered to myself as a 'cuddle-slut'...

However, I've got no tolerance for people who throw the term at me without invitation; particularly wannabe 'Doms' who send me cock pics at 1am...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *D835Man  over a year ago

London


"Interesting... used as a derogatory term but personally if I fit the definition of slut then I'm gonna own it!! Not that I'd appreciate being called that day to day.. during sex however I like being called names

This

It’s just a word, during sex is highly erotic any other time then they may know me well ....slutsrus - get liberated ...screw what anyone else says x

The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been created to demean and shame women into behaving in a certain way. I don't find it a liberating word at all, regardless of whether someone owns it or not. I find it quite the opposite. The ultimate liberation would be if it were no longer an accepted term. I'm sure others will disagree, but that's my personal take on it "

"The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been create....."

It's a problem for you but not a problem for others. People are different; and that's the bottom line.

The context in which the word is used also important.

It's neither right nor wrong; all depends on the individual and the context.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Interesting... used as a derogatory term but personally if I fit the definition of slut then I'm gonna own it!! Not that I'd appreciate being called that day to day.. during sex however I like being called names

This

It’s just a word, during sex is highly erotic any other time then they may know me well ....slutsrus - get liberated ...screw what anyone else says x

The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been created to demean and shame women into behaving in a certain way. I don't find it a liberating word at all, regardless of whether someone owns it or not. I find it quite the opposite. The ultimate liberation would be if it were no longer an accepted term. I'm sure others will disagree, but that's my personal take on it

"The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been create....."

It's a problem for you but not a problem for others. People are different; and that's the bottom line.

The context in which the word is used also important.

It's neither right nor wrong; all depends on the individual and the context. "

That's why I put 'the problem for me

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Guys often act like little kids and throw tantrums if they cant get what they want. Leave them to grow up and be the sexually liberated woman that you are!

Exactly this.

Fab has too many guys either looking for relief from sexless unsatisfying relationships, or single guys who find it difficult to get laid in real life.

They should look at the common denominator in their problem - Themselves.

If they weren't such arseholes they wouldn't need to slime around Fab where, ironically, they stand as little chance as they do in real life.

I stress not all men obviously. There are plenty of diamonds amongst the dust."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've never used it in a derogatory way, or a way to hurt a woman (or man) amd never would. (I probably did in school when I was a dick).

Op, he could have used any word to try to insult you.

I have a bit of a thing for women who like the idea, and describe being someone's 'slut'.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Well I’ve just been made to feel like one and it doesn’t feel good played with a guy on Friday and we’d made plans to meet again today. Got a snotty message off him this morning saying I’d had enough fun - yesterday I went into chat on cam and got a cam veri from some kind people who indulged my passion for talking about cycling. Apparently getting a veri yesterday and assuming a previously arranged meet is going ahead is, in as many words, slutty.

Not that I should have to, but not even a chance to explain. "

Why would you want to explain anything to him? You've done nothing wrong. You know the truth. If he has such issues why would you want to meet him again?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *dwalu2Couple  over a year ago

Bristol


"

A term having a derogatory meaning for the majority does not preclude a minority from using the same term in a celebratory way, nor also enjoying subverting the term’s derogatory nature, or simply consensually enjoying its derogatory intent.

That is a given as I said, everyone is free. However a minority is only a small part of wider society, and therefore it is the majorities use of the word that holds meaning from a social context.

So it does not ‘reinforce the social oppression of females in whatever context’. Context is, in fact, precisely what can prevent the term from being a tool of social oppression.

You're confusing a minority definition with societal definition. Also, the fact that a couple enjoy the derogatory and negative aspects of the word, does not disclude their use from reinforcing the mainstream societal meaning applied to the word. it just means they enjoy that meaning.

In the end, a male is trained by social conditioning to be promiscuous and to enjoy that promiscuity. The more conquests he makes, the more of a "stud" he is. A term steeped in praise and veneration.

A female is trained by social conditioning to be monogamous and to serve her (male) partner. The more "partners" she has, the more of a "slut" she is. A term steeped in disapproval and vilification.

Slut, used in any context, even pleasurably between lovers, still reinforces the view that a sexually promiscuous female is morally inferior to a sexually promiscuous male.

Personally, I never enjoy being slut shamed. Especially from a lover."

No, you are still confused, and explaining the obvious meaning of the word doesn’t change that.

You seem to think because you don’t like a term, and it has an obvious negative and derogatory meaning and use in wide society, than it can never have any other meaning or use consensually in private. Its consensual use in private, no matter whatever the reason for that use, be it pleasurable shame or pleasurable celebration, makes no contribution to its negativity in a wider social context. In fact, it can only ever contribute to a diminishing of negative meaning.

What you personally do or don’t enjoy is irrelevant to this point.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *r n1ceguyMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

It's a disgrace to call anyone a slut in public!!

During sex, if a lady likes .. great ... when she tells you to call her a slut.... even better

It all depends on the people having sex ... knowing what Their boundaries are.

N1ce

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ast_jjMan  over a year ago

Dublin and London


"nor me....but context is all....i can see the difference in using it knowing its turning someone on, and when its deliberately demeaning and disrespectful"
Exactly this.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I know I am a slut but I don't like being called it by strangers as many have said. I think it's a bit sad we have to label people.

Call me a slag and I'll punch your teeth out, hate that word.

But then I also know I'm fat. Doesn't mean I need it pointed out to me.

People get too hung up on labels and name calling.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I love being called a slut during sex.

I haven't been called a slut in public but I think I would laugh hard, I'm hard to offend tbh.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *r n1ceguyMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"I love being called a slut during sex.

I haven't been called a slut in public but I think I would laugh hard, I'm hard to offend tbh. "

That's my kind of girl ... loves the banter x

N1ce

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *sGivesWoodWoman  over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Depends on the way it's used, if it's a shitty message then no.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *r n1ceguyMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

My director complains to me that my workmen call me a Cunt! (Ouch) I just reply " I'm doing my job right" lol

N1ce

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s all about context for me; there’s a difference between someone saying ‘you’re a dirty slut’ to saying ‘you’re my dirty slut’.

I’d be less inclined to kick someone in the shin for saying the latter!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *r n1ceguyMan  over a year ago

Cardiff


"It’s all about context for me; there’s a difference between someone saying ‘you’re a dirty slut’ to saying ‘you’re my dirty slut’.

I’d be less inclined to kick someone in the shin for saying the latter! "

Such a bad girl... badgirlj xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/12/17 15:01:09]

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Wish I was a slut. Not had a shag for 2 years

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Fucking slut is up there with old bag ,silly moo and my fave you moanin splitarse

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

As pillow talk I find it a bit of a turn on.

Other than that. No thank you.

Use that term in messaging I will delete and block you

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

During sex/play yes please. Otherwise he'll no unless you'd like a hard kick in the nuts

~Mia

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously in the throws of passion many women love you to talk really dirty and use terminology such as slut

I'm not sure that it is 'many' women "

I've met a fair few that love it

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rimson_RoseWoman  over a year ago

Tamworth


"Well I’ve just been made to feel like one and it doesn’t feel good played with a guy on Friday and we’d made plans to meet again today. Got a snotty message off him this morning saying I’d had enough fun - yesterday I went into chat on cam and got a cam veri from some kind people who indulged my passion for talking about cycling. Apparently getting a veri yesterday and assuming a previously arranged meet is going ahead is, in as many words, slutty.

Not that I should have to, but not even a chance to explain.

Why would you want to explain anything to him? You've done nothing wrong. You know the truth. If he has such issues why would you want to meet him again?"

Oh, I don’t - it’s more the frustration of being spoken to like I’m something he stepped in for something I haven’t done. Over it now!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Obviously in the throws of passion many women love you to talk really dirty and use terminology such as slut

I'm not sure that it is 'many' women I've met a fair few that love it "

but I reiterate only in the throws of orgasmic passion

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Lots of people seem to have slut in their profile names and text. Mildred likes me to call her slut and bitch in the bedroom.

In the swinging world it would seem it's used more as sexual turn on word more than an insult.

. Like everything else some like it some don't. It's not a word we would use in the vanilla world

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" You seem to think because you don’t like a term, and it has an obvious negative and derogatory meaning and use in wide society, than it can never have any other meaning or use consensually in private."

Sorry but again you're confused as to my meaning. The use in private between lovers is not the issue. The wider societal meaning is. Private use, consensual or not, still relies upon the behaviour of the woman "acting like" a slut. In this sense, the willing partner is not being a slut, but is acting a slut. Whilst pleasurable for the willing, it does not alter the meaning of the word slut, NOR importantly, the associated negative connotations within society. In its use in the bedroom, the users are still contributing to the perception that a sexually active woman is morally inferior to a male with the same level of sexual activity. This was best summed up by Dark Angel when she wrote..
"The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been created to demean and shame women into behaving in a certain way. I don't find it a liberating word at all, regardless of whether someone owns it or not. I find it quite the opposite. The ultimate liberation would be if it were no longer an accepted term."

When you say...
" Its consensual use in private, no matter whatever the reason for that use, be it pleasurable shame or pleasurable celebration, makes no contribution to its negativity in a wider social context. In fact, it can only ever contribute to a diminishing of negative meaning."

I have to ask.. do you believe that acting out a fantasy within the bedroom somehow deminishes sexual assaults against women within wider society?

Promoting the use of the word slut to define a sexually active woman does not diminish its negative meaning. It reinforces it in the same way that porn in which women are seen as simple objects of sexual gratification, has resulted in the increase incidents of sexual assault against females. What you and your lover(s) do in the bedroom is your business, but "acting a slut" doesn't change the words meaning, negative connotations or usage in wider society. The word "slut", designed specifically to shame sexually active women, should have no place within wider society.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some people put to much thought into things, its just a word... now where is my slut wife

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *astexitMan  over a year ago

Dublin

Haven't read all replies here, so apologies if I'm repeating what others have said.

I feel quite strongly about this actually.

I'm not one to campaign for equal rights or anything, certainly not one of these so called male feminists or anyting of the sort.

But simple common sense and being fair minded...for me....is enough to make it plainly obvious that it's fucking retarded to use this term in any kind of derogatory manner.

There was a time when sex was painted as immoral and wrong outside marriage and we all know this.

It's not all that long ago that being a single mother was the most shameful thing imaginable, whereas now single mothers are held in high regard generally.

Painting attitudes then as oppressive is pointless 'cos it's just how things used to be, just like in 50 years time people might look back on 2017 and think the same.

Whilst things have changed, it puzzles me that this word still holds weight. it's backward and pathetic.

If a guy says it as an insult to a woman, to me it's obvious he's not all that smart and/or letting a bruised ego rule over common sense.

It's sad!!!

It's frustrating too that women give this term value by letting it have impact.

I understand people in general are not all open or fair minded and maybe it's unfair for a bloke to be so black & white about it...but I truly think any person should just fuck as many or as few people as they want to irregardless if they're a guy or a girl.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ohncukMan  over a year ago

london

All guys want to be a male slut

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *astexitMan  over a year ago

Dublin

Of course being a typical pig minded bloke, I should add that I think diferently when it's in a sexual taboo/fetish setting

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Some people put to much thought into things, its just a word... now where is my slut wife "

I see that originality and creativity are strong aspects of your character... not so sure about your empathy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people put to much thought into things, its just a word... now where is my slut wife

I see that originality and creativity are strong aspects of your character... not so sure about your empathy "

Well if you look a bit further up the thread you will see what mrs badcherry take on this is

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Painting attitudes then as oppressive is pointless 'cos it's just how things used to be,...."


"Whilst things have changed, it puzzles me that this word still holds weight. it's backward and pathetic."


"It's frustrating too that women give this term value by letting it have impact."

Thanks for the intelligent reply.

To the three points highlighted above...

Its not "how things used to be.." the fact that the word is still used in a derogatory manner shows that things have not changed.

As a post-op transsex female, I know from experience that my life as a female comes with none of the social privildges afforded to males. If a fuck freely, then society judges me to have lax morals. Yet as a man, the same behaviour is a mark of my male success.

On your final point, the word has impact because it is misogynistic (woman hating) aggression. Females are verbally attacked simply for living the life you promote, and as in my case, because despite our percieved lax sexual morality, we still turned him down.

It is a sense of male entitlement that SOME men hold toward women, and especially women they percieve as "sluts".

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rMrs CumalotCouple  over a year ago

East Mids

It’s simple! If I call the Mrs a slut it’s ok!! Anyone else not ok

The end

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Some people put to much thought into things, its just a word... now where is my slut wife

I see that originality and creativity are strong aspects of your character... not so sure about your empathy

Well if you look a bit further up the thread you will see what mrs badcherry take on this is "

Your point being?

D- Must try harder.

The fact your partner has no issue being called a slut, as with others previous posts, doesn't deminish the negative social connotations or oppresive meaning of the word in wider society.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"It’s simple! If I call the Mrs a slut it’s ok!! Anyone else not ok

The end "

Its a discussion. Not an argument

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would happily call a man a slut. I think it's a unisex term these days.

Anyway probably best not to take things personally, I'm sure you will get worse messages, especially if your filters aren't on.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s all about context for me too. I have a word that is similar tattooed on my bum which I am very proud of and I am happy to show it to people that I know from the vanilla world! I have been called things like that during sex with different people and have really enjoyed it.

If I was called that deliberately offensively by someone then I would have a very different reaction. I completely understand why people find it offensive and wouldn’t ever dream of calling someone else that!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rryTMan  over a year ago

Nottingham


"It’s all about context for me too. I have a word that is similar tattooed on my bum which I am very proud of and I am happy to show it to people that I know from the vanilla world! I have been called things like that during sex with different people and have really enjoyed it.

!"

I find that very sexy

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just an idiot being a keyboard warrior clutching at straws to try and put you down! Its what the block button was made for and quite simply no loss

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I would happily call a man a slut. I think it's a unisex term these days.

Anyway probably best not to take things personally, I'm sure you will get worse messages, especially if your filters aren't on.

"

I haven't taken his words personally. I merely asked the question how do people feel about it.

As for your belief that the term is unisex, I'd disagree. Males, in general, don't get sexually assaulted because society percieves them as sluts. Females do.

Filters would not have stopped his message. he became offended because I didn't respond in the time or manner he wanted. As usual with men, he then became verbally aggresive using both transphobic and misogynistic insults.

I just reported and blocked the dick.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *he Face of BoeMan  over a year ago

WOMBOURNE

For me it's not a negative it's a positive. The sexual people have taken it back I'm a massive slut and I know it it's a positive sexual expression in the circle I run in both on the swing scene and the Fet scene.

When I call someone a slut it means 'I want you so badly right now' or 'you are so fucking Hot

The tosser s that use it as a negative are just sad losers who aren't getting any

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I haven't bothered to read every response to this read, my bad, but speaking from my own perspective the term 'slut' is absolutely fine because for me it represents the kind of label that describes someone's particular sexual tendencies. You can a male slut and a female slut, they are both in essence the same.

In my mind there is nothing wrong with a slut. It's an expression of personal sexual freedom and confining much the same way being called gay was in the 1960's. Being called gay now is no longer offensive if there is truth in it for either gender but back then it was a "family destroyer" of a term.

In time society will learn to accept that sexual confidence is not something that should be discriminated against. Human beings are not genetically designed for monogamous relationships for life. It's that simple.

I am all for a slut, or slutty behaviour. Doesn't have to be for my benefit at all, just be confident in ourselves and be safe in how we go about it. Who else can judge?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I haven't bothered to read every response to this read, my bad, but speaking from my own perspective the term 'slut' is absolutely fine because for me it represents the kind of label that describes someone's particular sexual tendencies. You can a male slut and a female slut, they are both in essence the same.

In my mind there is nothing wrong with a slut. It's an expression of personal sexual freedom and *Confidence * much the same way being called gay was in the 1960's. Being called gay now is no longer offensive whether there is truth in it or not for either gender but back then it was a "family destroyer" of a term.

In time society will learn to accept that sexual confidence is not something that should be discriminated against. Human beings are not genetically designed for monogamous relationships for life. It's that simple.

I am all for a slut, or slutty behaviour. Doesn't have to be for my benefit at all, just be confident in ourselves and be safe in how we go about it. Who else can judge? "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lutandhubbyCouple  over a year ago

west midlands

i,m a slut, but only hubby's slut !. xxx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *r n1ceguyMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

I love a good slut said Mr N1ceguy (the male slag) lol

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

There is nothing wrong with the word slut in my opinion and there is nothing wrong if a lady accepts she is a slut, it's a great thing in my opinion.

That said, any type of abusive or disrespectful behaviour for whatever reason is wrong, this helps us narrow down to the issue. Abusive or disrespectful behaviour of one person to another is the issue not the word slut.

I am a male slut and I accept it, I have no issues if a lady called me a male slut.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *D835Man  over a year ago

London


"There is nothing wrong with the word slut in my opinion and there is nothing wrong if a lady accepts she is a slut, it's a great thing in my opinion.

That said, any type of abusive or disrespectful behaviour for whatever reason is wrong, this helps us narrow down to the issue. Abusive or disrespectful behaviour of one person to another is the issue not the word slut.

I am a male slut and I accept it, I have no issues if a lady called me a male slut."

"Abusive or disrespectful behaviour of one person to another is the issue not the word slut."

Spot on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *D835Man  over a year ago

London


"I would happily call a man a slut. I think it's a unisex term these days.

Anyway probably best not to take things personally, I'm sure you will get worse messages, especially if your filters aren't on.

I haven't taken his words personally. I merely asked the question how do people feel about it.

As for your belief that the term is unisex, I'd disagree. Males, in general, don't get sexually assaulted because society percieves them as sluts. Females do.

Filters would not have stopped his message. he became offended because I didn't respond in the time or manner he wanted. As usual with men, he then became verbally aggresive using both transphobic and misogynistic insults.

I just reported and blocked the dick."

"I just reported and blocked the dick"

So calling a lady a slut is wrong in your opinion ; but it's OK to refer to a guy as a "dick"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I like being called names like that when sex is involved xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Couldn't and wouldn't call a woman that even if she wanted to during sex.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I absolutely love it!!!! But only during kink talk or kink play! But I’m a submissive so that’s probably why lol. I don’t care what I’m called during a good session but draw the line at being called a slag

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I would happily call a man a slut. I think it's a unisex term these days.

Anyway probably best not to take things personally, I'm sure you will get worse messages, especially if your filters aren't on.

I haven't taken his words personally. I merely asked the question how do people feel about it.

As for your belief that the term is unisex, I'd disagree. Males, in general, don't get sexually assaulted because society percieves them as sluts. Females do.

Filters would not have stopped his message. he became offended because I didn't respond in the time or manner he wanted. As usual with men, he then became verbally aggresive using both transphobic and misogynistic insults.

I just reported and blocked the dick.

"I just reported and blocked the dick"

So calling a lady a slut is wrong in your opinion ; but it's OK to refer to a guy as a "dick" "

Haha well said

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"There is nothing wrong with the word slut in my opinion and there is nothing wrong if a lady accepts she is a slut, it's a great thing in my opinion."


"I am a male slut and I accept it, I have no issues if a lady called me a male slut."

The problem with this opinion is that the word "slut", as defined in wider society is gender specific to women, and secondly a disparaging remark ie offensive. When men use the term toward others / themselves, there is an element of joviality / humour not found in the words use toward women.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/slut

So, even if "..a lady accepts she is a slut.." i.e. “acts” a slut within the bedroom and / or context of her relationship, she is also accepting the negative social aspects i.e. her socially viewed lower moral standards.

By dictionary definition, you can't have a male slut.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So calling a lady a slut is wrong in your opinion ; but it's OK to refer to a guy as a "dick" "

Again, NO, this is a discussion on the word slut. As I've stated many times, used in the bedroom between consenting adults it is acceptable.... on the proviso that the users understand that by doing so, they perpetuate antiquated and offensive views toward women i.e. that whilst male promiscuity, the male slut if you like, is fine; applied to a woman the word defines her as having lower moral standards in all aspects of her life. When a man has many lovers he’s called a stud, Casanova, ladies man etc... If he’s famous, it boosts his career. If a female acts the same way, she’s called a slut. If she’s famous, she’s slut shamed in the press and her career takes a battering. THAT is why the word is so offensive.

It is no different to you using the "N" word with your mates. However if I or another Caucasian was to use that word, then despite our intent, an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of white on black abuse. A similar thing exists with Tranny. If I use it, that's fine. If you call me a tranny, then an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of cis abuse on transsex people.

As regards my use of the word dick... Cambridge dictionary defines the word as "offensive: a stupid man"

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/dick

I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick, especially in response to him referring to me as a slut. I will say this though. Calling a guy a dick doesn't question his morality or even his intelligence. It simply states, in an offensive manner, that his behaviour at some moment was foolish.

Dick is more akin to twat or cunt. There is no male equivalent for “slut”, only an alternative version again associated to females “slag”.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Couldn't and wouldn't call a woman that even if she wanted to during sex."

spot on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *D835Man  over a year ago

London


"So calling a lady a slut is wrong in your opinion ; but it's OK to refer to a guy as a "dick"

Again, NO, this is a discussion on the word slut. As I've stated many times, used in the bedroom between consenting adults it is acceptable.... on the proviso that the users understand that by doing so, they perpetuate antiquated and offensive views toward women i.e. that whilst male promiscuity, the male slut if you like, is fine; applied to a woman the word defines her as having lower moral standards in all aspects of her life. When a man has many lovers he’s called a stud, Casanova, ladies man etc... If he’s famous, it boosts his career. If a female acts the same way, she’s called a slut. If she’s famous, she’s slut shamed in the press and her career takes a battering. THAT is why the word is so offensive.

It is no different to you using the "N" word with your mates. However if I or another Caucasian was to use that word, then despite our intent, an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of white on black abuse. A similar thing exists with Tranny. If I use it, that's fine. If you call me a tranny, then an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of cis abuse on transsex people.

As regards my use of the word dick... Cambridge dictionary defines the word as "offensive: a stupid man"

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/dick

I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick, especially in response to him referring to me as a slut. I will say this though. Calling a guy a dick doesn't question his morality or even his intelligence. It simply states, in an offensive manner, that his behaviour at some moment was foolish.

Dick is more akin to twat or cunt. There is no male equivalent for “slut”, only an alternative version again associated to females “slag”."

"I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick"

In which case there is no need for the guy to apologise for calling you a slut.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Dick is more akin to twat or cunt. There is no male equivalent for “slut”"

Without wishing to be pedantic:

'Lothario' - "a man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women"

I might also suggest 'Philanderer,' 'Lech' and 'Womaniser,' since they are usually employed to depict male promiscuity as predatory, exploitative or abusive...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I thought slut, like pervert, had been reclaimed by us deviants? I’m a fan of anyone who describes themselves as a slut.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That aside, I agree with your statement that:


"used in the bedroom between consenting adults it is acceptable.... on the proviso that the users understand that by doing so, they perpetuate antiquated and offensive views toward women i.e. that whilst male promiscuity, the male slut if you like, is fine; applied to a woman the word defines her as having lower moral standards in all aspects of her life."

Even in the allegedly 'safe' environment of a consensual BDSM scene, I have never been comfortable using the term 'slut' in reference to a play partner...the idea of applying it to anyone other than myself makes me incredibly uncomfortable...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some people put to much thought into things, its just a word... now where is my slut wife

I see that originality and creativity are strong aspects of your character... not so sure about your empathy

Well if you look a bit further up the thread you will see what mrs badcherry take on this is

Your point being?

D- Must try harder.

The fact your partner has no issue being called a slut, as with others previous posts, doesn't deminish the negative social connotations or oppresive meaning of the word in wider society.

"

it is derrogotary but most sexual innuendo is but for some its a turn on ,its about the people concerned and the moment..........no means no right ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"So calling a lady a slut is wrong in your opinion ; but it's OK to refer to a guy as a "dick"

Again, NO, this is a discussion on the word slut. As I've stated many times, used in the bedroom between consenting adults it is acceptable.... on the proviso that the users understand that by doing so, they perpetuate antiquated and offensive views toward women i.e. that whilst male promiscuity, the male slut if you like, is fine; applied to a woman the word defines her as having lower moral standards in all aspects of her life. When a man has many lovers he’s called a stud, Casanova, ladies man etc... If he’s famous, it boosts his career. If a female acts the same way, she’s called a slut. If she’s famous, she’s slut shamed in the press and her career takes a battering. THAT is why the word is so offensive.

It is no different to you using the "N" word with your mates. However if I or another Caucasian was to use that word, then despite our intent, an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of white on black abuse. A similar thing exists with Tranny. If I use it, that's fine. If you call me a tranny, then an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of cis abuse on transsex people.

As regards my use of the word dick... Cambridge dictionary defines the word as "offensive: a stupid man"

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/dick

I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick, especially in response to him referring to me as a slut. I will say this though. Calling a guy a dick doesn't question his morality or even his intelligence. It simply states, in an offensive manner, that his behaviour at some moment was foolish.

Dick is more akin to twat or cunt. There is no male equivalent for “slut”, only an alternative version again associated to females “slag”.

"I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick"

In which case there is no need for the guy to apologise for calling you a slut."

I haven't sought his apology. The point of the debate is the use of the word.

D- must try harder

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Dick is more akin to twat or cunt. There is no male equivalent for “slut”

Without wishing to be pedantic:

'Lothario' - "a man who behaves selfishly and irresponsibly in his sexual relationships with women"

I might also suggest 'Philanderer,' 'Lech' and 'Womaniser,' since they are usually employed to depict male promiscuity as predatory, exploitative or abusive..."

Good try, but none of those carry the same negative moral connotations.

They only judge his behaviour toward women on sexual issues. They don't judge his morality on all aspects of his life, because he enjoys sex.

I'd say they're more like pricked tease, golddigger etc.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lem-H-FandangoMan  over a year ago

salisbury

This thread is a great filter *smug face*.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *D835Man  over a year ago

London


"So calling a lady a slut is wrong in your opinion ; but it's OK to refer to a guy as a "dick"

Again, NO, this is a discussion on the word slut. As I've stated many times, used in the bedroom between consenting adults it is acceptable.... on the proviso that the users understand that by doing so, they perpetuate antiquated and offensive views toward women i.e. that whilst male promiscuity, the male slut if you like, is fine; applied to a woman the word defines her as having lower moral standards in all aspects of her life. When a man has many lovers he’s called a stud, Casanova, ladies man etc... If he’s famous, it boosts his career. If a female acts the same way, she’s called a slut. If she’s famous, she’s slut shamed in the press and her career takes a battering. THAT is why the word is so offensive.

It is no different to you using the "N" word with your mates. However if I or another Caucasian was to use that word, then despite our intent, an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of white on black abuse. A similar thing exists with Tranny. If I use it, that's fine. If you call me a tranny, then an offensive meaning would be associated to it because of the history of cis abuse on transsex people.

As regards my use of the word dick... Cambridge dictionary defines the word as "offensive: a stupid man"

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/dick

I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick, especially in response to him referring to me as a slut. I will say this though. Calling a guy a dick doesn't question his morality or even his intelligence. It simply states, in an offensive manner, that his behaviour at some moment was foolish.

Dick is more akin to twat or cunt. There is no male equivalent for “slut”, only an alternative version again associated to females “slag”.

"I feel no need to apologise for calling him a dick"

In which case there is no need for the guy to apologise for calling you a slut.

I haven't sought his apology. The point of the debate is the use of the word.

D- must try harder"

And regarding the use of the word; as I stated earlier:

It's neither right nor wrong; all depends on the individual and the context in which it is used.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ames1763Man  over a year ago

Aberdeen

In the normal society the word slut might be offensive but in this alternative society as you can see from the comments of most of the ladies, it is not considered offensive.

It is always freely used during play etc I believe it is the manner of delivery of the word that might offend the ladies, so if you used it in an abusive and disrespectful manner then the ladies will take offence.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ara JTV/TS  over a year ago

Bristol East

"A slut is a woman with the morals of a man"

Read that somewhere and it struck home

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *dwalu2Couple  over a year ago

Bristol


" You seem to think because you don’t like a term, and it has an obvious negative and derogatory meaning and use in wide society, than it can never have any other meaning or use consensually in private.

Sorry but again you're confused as to my meaning. The use in private between lovers is not the issue. The wider societal meaning is. Private use, consensual or not, still relies upon the behaviour of the woman "acting like" a slut. In this sense, the willing partner is not being a slut, but is acting a slut. Whilst pleasurable for the willing, it does not alter the meaning of the word slut, NOR importantly, the associated negative connotations within society. In its use in the bedroom, the users are still contributing to the perception that a sexually active woman is morally inferior to a male with the same level of sexual activity. This was best summed up by Dark Angel when she wrote..The problem for me, is I see it as a word that has been created to demean and shame women into behaving in a certain way. I don't find it a liberating word at all, regardless of whether someone owns it or not. I find it quite the opposite. The ultimate liberation would be if it were no longer an accepted term.

When you say... Its consensual use in private, no matter whatever the reason for that use, be it pleasurable shame or pleasurable celebration, makes no contribution to its negativity in a wider social context. In fact, it can only ever contribute to a diminishing of negative meaning.

I have to ask.. do you believe that acting out a fantasy within the bedroom somehow deminishes sexual assaults against women within wider society?

Promoting the use of the word slut to define a sexually active woman does not diminish its negative meaning. It reinforces it in the same way that porn in which women are seen as simple objects of sexual gratification, has resulted in the increase incidents of sexual assault against females. What you and your lover(s) do in the bedroom is your business, but "acting a slut" doesn't change the words meaning, negative connotations or usage in wider society. The word "slut", designed specifically to shame sexually active women, should have no place within wider society."

Then you need to try to decide what point it is you think you are making here. Abusive words should have no place in society - this is an obvious point. And yet they do, so in this regard ‘slut’ is no different from any other - including ‘dick’.

A word’s original intent does not remain its definition in perpetuity - like all words, use changes meaning, and a dictionary definition only serves to record the last ‘official’ definition. They change with time. So a negative word being used positively can only serve to diminish the negative meaning, not reinforce that meaning, as you seem to believe, even if they play with those original negatives.

Your question about sexual assaults doesn’t make any real sense, unless you make some wild leaps of logic - do you want to try to rephrase it?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *icky_tvLondonTV/TS  over a year ago

london

Offence, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. So says this dick dumb tranny.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I don’t mind the word slut at all but I hate the words slag and whore

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *host63Man  over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"Today I had the pleasure of being called a fucking slut by some guy simply because I didn't respond to his emails as quickly as he liked. It got me thinking, I see a lot of people talking about their "slutty wife" etc and I wonder how do you ladies feel about that label?

Personally I hate it. Why? Because the idea is that if a man loves sex he his normal, yet if a woman acts the same way, she is somehow a "slut". A disparaging and offensive term thrown at women who are as sexually liberated as men.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fundementalist feminist, nor do I feel people should not be free to label themselves how they choose, I'm simply interested in how you ladies feel being routinely referred to as a slut."

I personally have never used the word Its derogatory to my thinking. Some ladies like the lable and I am ok with that But wouldn't use the word to describe any woman I am with

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ucy LewdWoman  over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

I'm not ok with using terms like this either in everyday conversation or during sex. They come out of a culture that has objectified and shamed women simultaneously and it's actively a turn off to use those phrases and words in play for me. It's also a turn off to ear others using them within earshot for me.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *he incognito twoCouple  over a year ago

near you

yes me too...time and place

xx

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I hate it.. words don’t usually bother me but I hate slut/slag .. hateful and disrespectful words

"

Yes I agree - abhorrent.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport

Congrats to the OP for stringing this out to over 150 posts. Who would have thought one little word would cause such a spouting of intellectual hot air. Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Congrats to the OP for stringing this out to over 150 posts. Who would have thought one little word would cause such a spouting of intellectual hot air. Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab"

Has she deliberately strung it out? Or are people just naturally enjoying the discussion? I’m sure people wouldn’t have contributed if they weren’t interested.

Mrs

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Congrats to the OP for stringing this out to over 150 posts. Who would have thought one little word would cause such a spouting of intellectual hot air. Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab

Has she deliberately strung it out? Or are people just naturally enjoying the discussion? I’m sure people wouldn’t have contributed if they weren’t interested.

Mrs"

Exactly...I mean...who'd have thought that people would actually DISAGREE about the implications of using the word 'slut' in a sexual context?!

I mean...next you'll be telling me that some people on Fab are critical of certain aspects of BDSM...

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *itch and TwatCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes


"Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab"

Classy and has avoid written all over it...we enjoyed reading the debate, where there are strongly held views. Why waste electrons with this negative, dismissive and, quite frankly, arrogant statement?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport


"Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab

Classy and has avoid written all over it...we enjoyed reading the debate, where there are strongly held views. Why waste electrons with this negative, dismissive and, quite frankly, arrogant statement?"

Well if we're being frank, I find it rather arrogant for individuals to take it upon themselves to state what society as a whole thinks of the word.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *tace 309TV/TS  over a year ago

durham


"its a horrid name to call some one"
its an awful word .call me that and you'll lose your nuts

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm not ok with using terms like this either in everyday conversation or during sex. They come out of a culture that has objectified and shamed women simultaneously and it's actively a turn off to use those phrases and words in play for me. It's also a turn off to ear others using them within earshot for me."

I agree 100% with this.

So we see the words meaning doesn't change over time no matter how much it is "claimed" by a community. If that was the case, the N word would now be socially acceptable as the black community adopted the word at the very start of the race equality movement. Yet it is not.

The comparison I made earlier to sexual assault stands. The act of role play in the bedroom between consenting adults, in no way eradicates the threat in public life. In that way, by using the word "slut", even in a consensual manner, the objectifying and shaming of women is perpetuated, as the participants are either excited by applying the label to their partner, or are excited about acting in a manner she knows is normally frowned upon. Why should a woman be negatively morally judged for enjoying an active sex life, when a male acting in the same manner is morally promoted? Real equality comes when a woman is free to enjoy sex like a man, without any moral judgements.

As for those who have been rather aggressive in their defence of the use of the word "slut", I would ask this.... if the word is unisex or of little consequence in the 21st century, why do you all hide your sexual activities from wider society? Isn't it time you all came out the closet and where public about your swinging? Or is it that you're afraid that society will take a dim view. Not so much of you gents, but your female partners who you love to call your "slut" wife? Is it not the case that it is your fear of public shaming, which keeps you closeted and secretive about your activities? The fear both you and your female partners have of society looking on negatively to your activities, THAT is the power of "slut shaming", and THAT is why the word should never be socially acceptable.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *eavenscentitCouple  over a year ago

barnstaple

We sometimes use it to play. If a guy called me it I would laugh at him.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *itch and TwatCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes


"Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab

Classy and has avoid written all over it...we enjoyed reading the debate, where there are strongly held views. Why waste electrons with this negative, dismissive and, quite frankly, arrogant statement?

Well if we're being frank, I find it rather arrogant for individuals to take it upon themselves to state what society as a whole thinks of the word."

Which word and who?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inkyCouple1927Couple  over a year ago

Newcastle

It doesn’t bother me (S) at all, if that’s the worst you can say to me then go for it. When I was younger I was more bothered, but now I really couldn’t care less.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


" This thread is a great filter *smug face*. "

As is a comment of this style. I have no time for a man without the intellectual abilities to debate a topic without judgement upon the debator.

The greatest sex organ is the mind. Not the genitalia.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport


"Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab

Classy and has avoid written all over it...we enjoyed reading the debate, where there are strongly held views. Why waste electrons with this negative, dismissive and, quite frankly, arrogant statement?

Well if we're being frank, I find it rather arrogant for individuals to take it upon themselves to state what society as a whole thinks of the word.

Which word and who?"

Well I thought it was still "slut" that was being discussed and various posters have stated how general society views the word.

How do you view the use of wanker or cunt? Not that uncommon to hear them used in the wider society so what's your take on them?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Well if we're being frank, I find it rather arrogant for individuals to take it upon themselves to state what society as a whole thinks of the word."

It isn't arrogance. We know what society as a whole thinks of a word. Thanks to dictionaries.

Why are you being aggressive simply because people choose to debate the use of the word "slut"?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *ingle Dad SeekingMan  over a year ago

Northern England


"I prefer the French word “putain”...but that’s probably because my French is quite poor..."

I thought it was "salope". However, my knowledge of French isn't much better.

In my opinion, the German "schlampe" sounds much worse.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"How do you view the use of wanker or cunt? Not that uncommon to hear them used in the wider society so what's your take on them?"

Neither the word wanker or cunt are gender specific in use, and neither word has a negative moral judgement attached to it that is specific to only one sex.

There is no comparison with the word "slut"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *itch and TwatCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rushden Lakes


"I prefer the French word “putain”...but that’s probably because my French is quite poor...

I thought it was "salope". However, my knowledge of French isn't much better.

In my opinion, the German "schlampe" sounds much worse. "

Excellent riposte...putain is probably better translated as whore or possibly tart or somewhere in between ...BUT we’re discussing slut so let’s ignore this linguistic development...AND the accuracy or otherwise of our translations...back to the OP’s original intention.

Yours from Pseud’s Corner,

The Twatiest Twat

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *wizzlenipsMan  over a year ago

Newport


"How do you view the use of wanker or cunt? Not that uncommon to hear them used in the wider society so what's your take on them?

Neither the word wanker or cunt are gender specific in use, and neither word has a negative moral judgement attached to it that is specific to only one sex.

There is no comparison with the word "slut""

Actually if you look at Cambridge Dictionary it defines wanker as "a very stupid or unpleasant person, usually a man" so arguably it is gender specific.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple  over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville


"Congrats to the OP for stringing this out to over 150 posts. Who would have thought one little word would cause such a spouting of intellectual hot air. Looks like I've stumbled into psueds corner on fab

Has she deliberately strung it out? Or are people just naturally enjoying the discussion? I’m sure people wouldn’t have contributed if they weren’t interested.

Mrs

Exactly...I mean...who'd have thought that people would actually DISAGREE about the implications of using the word 'slut' in a sexual context?!

I mean...next you'll be telling me that some people on Fab are critical of certain aspects of BDSM... "

Like my owned slut collar ?

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *imandHerNottsCouple  over a year ago

North Notts

It doesn’t bother me but I do prefer dirty bitch

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *risky_MareWoman  over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

In my view the word slut has more than the dictionary definition of a woman who has slept with a lot of men, it also commonly carries with it a broader derogatory sense - lack of class, badly dressed, indiscriminate in her choice of sexual partner, liable to intoxication, lacking in self-control, amoral in her promiscuity (cheating/adultery etc) the kind of woman who throws herself at other people's husbands ...all of that and more. It implies moral bankruptcy not simple sexual appetite!

There is certainly nowhere near a male equivalent - womaniser is no comparison!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *rMrs CumalotCouple  over a year ago

East Mids


"It’s simple! If I call the Mrs a slut it’s ok!! Anyone else not ok

The end

Its a discussion. Not an argument "

Quite concerned you didn’t realise I was messing around

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

 

By *inkyCouple1927Couple  over a year ago

Newcastle


"It doesn’t bother me but I do prefer dirty bitch "

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

  

By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"In my view the word slut has more than the dictionary definition of a woman who has slept with a lot of men, it also commonly carries with it a broader derogatory sense - lack of class, badly dressed, indiscriminate in her choice of sexual partner, liable to intoxication, lacking in self-control, amoral in her promiscuity (cheating/adultery etc) the kind of woman who throws herself at other people's husbands ...all of that and more. It implies moral bankruptcy not simple sexual appetite!

There is certainly nowhere near a male equivalent - womaniser is no comparison!"

EXACTLY!!!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

0.2969

0