FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Not getting hard!
Not getting hard!
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"I'd feel bit of a failure tbh "this for me too | |||
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It happens, there's other stuff to do  | |||
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"I've never had this and hope I don't. To be honest I have the opposite problem. " Consider yourself fortunate...!! | |||
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"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do "Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc..... Happy days huh ? In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging . If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison . | |||
"Only experienced this once on a meet. No matter what he couldn't get hard and he was getting more and more embarrassed. I told him to relax and pretended I needed the loo. Next thing I heard was him running down the stairs. Just had time to see him running down the drive getting dressed at the same time. I shudder to think what the neighbours thought! "Why were the neighbours concerned about his lack of erection too? | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison ."A bit rude don't you think  | |||
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"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison ."You two are normally amongst the least judgemental and not up themselves people on here, so this comment surprises me! How can not getting hard or losing an erection mean you dont get the concept of swinging?  | |||
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"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison ."Well I meant there's more to sex than penetration but we all have our own way of looking at things. | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison ."So..... the "very concept of swinging" is performing.... right? | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
You two are normally amongst the least judgemental and not up themselves people on here, so this comment surprises me!
How can not getting hard or losing an erection mean you dont get the concept of swinging? "Well let’s put it this way . Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex . So if a guy can’t get hard , why would he join a site promoting sexual hook ups ? So , the concept of swinging being the enjoyment of nsa sex , requires at the very least the ability to get a hard on , unless you are only into socials , board games , or humiliation . From our perspective , I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet , and this invariably means he has to be having fun too . How will either of them have fun if he can’t get hard ? Thus the concept of swinging is lost , it’s no fun and a waste of everyone’s time isn’t it ? My wife feels bad , he feels bad , and so do I . I hope that explains my post . | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
Well I meant there's more to sex than penetration but we all have our own way of looking at things."I agree there’s more to sex than penetration , but surely it shouldn’t be an effort should it ? I see no pleasure for the guy or the woman if she spends ages trying to get his cock hard .... | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
So..... the "very concept of swinging" is performing.... right?"Yep  | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
So..... the "very concept of swinging" is performing.... right?
Yep "But you just watch so you're not a swinger. | |||
I think the man would probably be more bothered than the woman in most aituations and as i say there are many other things that can be done ... | |||
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"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
You two are normally amongst the least judgemental and not up themselves people on here, so this comment surprises me!
How can not getting hard or losing an erection mean you dont get the concept of swinging?
Well let’s put it this way . Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex . So if a guy can’t get hard , why would he join a site promoting sexual hook ups ?
So , the concept of swinging being the enjoyment of nsa sex , requires at the very least the ability to get a hard on , unless you are only into socials , board games , or humiliation .
From our perspective , I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet , and this invariably means he has to be having fun too . How will either of them have fun if he can’t get hard ? Thus the concept of swinging is lost , it’s no fun and a waste of everyone’s time isn’t it ?
My wife feels bad , he feels bad , and so do I .
I hope that explains my post .""I hope that explains my post" Well your explanation is poor tbh. You also say: "If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here." Well sometimes when a guy can't get hard; it is just a phase or temporary state. Some don't get hard on a first meet through nerves, but get hard on a second meet when they are more relaxed. Some go to see their GP and through counselling and medication they overcome the problem of getting hard. In short it can be a temporary issue and not a permanent one. Are you saying these guys are not supposed to be on this site? Even though their problem may just be a short-term issue? And do you realise that advice from a "swinging site forum" like this one, can help those guys overcome those problems rather than them having to deal with it in isolation? You also say: "Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex" ...and then later say: "I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet..." So... since you are not "hooking up with other like minded people for sex" but rather "love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet.." then can we say you are not a swinger and maybe you should not be on a swinging site either ??? | |||
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"How do women feel when a man can't get hard for sex?" I feel sorry for them if this happens. Would be as kind as possible but would certainly not see them again. It is their issue not mine. I'm here for fun not to counsel men with performance issues. | |||
"Happened to me on a mmf. To be honest I found myself not attracted to the Fem and just couldn't get going. " ^^This | |||
"I'd do my best to relax him, if it's nerves. There would be no pressure on him to get hard and fuck me. If it was every time I would be honest with him and tell him I'm looking for penetrative sex. " Same for me. | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do "Having seen your pics, you’re definitely not to blame! | |||
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"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
You two are normally amongst the least judgemental and not up themselves people on here, so this comment surprises me!
How can not getting hard or losing an erection mean you dont get the concept of swinging?
Well let’s put it this way . Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex . So if a guy can’t get hard , why would he join a site promoting sexual hook ups ?
So , the concept of swinging being the enjoyment of nsa sex , requires at the very least the ability to get a hard on , unless you are only into socials , board games , or humiliation .
From our perspective , I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet , and this invariably means he has to be having fun too . How will either of them have fun if he can’t get hard ? Thus the concept of swinging is lost , it’s no fun and a waste of everyone’s time isn’t it ?
My wife feels bad , he feels bad , and so do I .
I hope that explains my post .
"I hope that explains my post"
Well your explanation is poor tbh.
You also say: "If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here."
Well sometimes when a guy can't get hard; it is just a phase or temporary state. Some don't get hard on a first meet through nerves, but get hard on a second meet when they are more relaxed. Some go to see their GP and through counselling and medication they overcome the problem of getting hard.
In short it can be a temporary issue and not a permanent one.
Are you saying these guys are not supposed to be on this site? Even though their problem may just be a short-term issue?
And do you realise that advice from a "swinging site forum" like this one, can help those guys overcome those problems rather than them having to deal with it in isolation?
You also say: "Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex"
...and then later say: "I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet..."
So... since you are not "hooking up with other like minded people for sex" but rather "love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet.." then can we say you are not a swinger and maybe you should not be on a swinging site either ???"You may think my reasoning is poor , and that’s cool . You may also think that as I like to watch my wife having fun that I’m not a swinger , and shouldn’t be on here . That’s cool too . I truly don’t mind and take no offence . It may be a temporary blip for guys who can’t get hard , and I would respectfully ask them not to meet us until it’s sorted . They can help themselves a whole lot better with women who don’t mind , and as has been suggested , try other things that don’t require an erection . It’s all good , each to their own and all that . | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
So..... the "very concept of swinging" is performing.... right?
Yep
But you just watch so you're not a swinger. "Watching us just a part of our swinging . I would partake way more often than I do , but I have problems getting a hard on | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
You two are normally amongst the least judgemental and not up themselves people on here, so this comment surprises me!
How can not getting hard or losing an erection mean you dont get the concept of swinging?
Well let’s put it this way . Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex . So if a guy can’t get hard , why would he join a site promoting sexual hook ups ?
So , the concept of swinging being the enjoyment of nsa sex , requires at the very least the ability to get a hard on , unless you are only into socials , board games , or humiliation .
From our perspective , I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet , and this invariably means he has to be having fun too . How will either of them have fun if he can’t get hard ? Thus the concept of swinging is lost , it’s no fun and a waste of everyone’s time isn’t it ?
My wife feels bad , he feels bad , and so do I .
I hope that explains my post .
"I hope that explains my post"
Well your explanation is poor tbh.
You also say: "If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here."
Well sometimes when a guy can't get hard; it is just a phase or temporary state. Some don't get hard on a first meet through nerves, but get hard on a second meet when they are more relaxed. Some go to see their GP and through counselling and medication they overcome the problem of getting hard.
In short it can be a temporary issue and not a permanent one.
Are you saying these guys are not supposed to be on this site? Even though their problem may just be a short-term issue?
And do you realise that advice from a "swinging site forum" like this one, can help those guys overcome those problems rather than them having to deal with it in isolation?
You also say: "Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex"
...and then later say: "I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet..."
So... since you are not "hooking up with other like minded people for sex" but rather "love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet.." then can we say you are not a swinger and maybe you should not be on a swinging site either ???
You may think my reasoning is poor , and that’s cool . You may also think that as I like to watch my wife having fun that I’m not a swinger , and shouldn’t be on here . That’s cool too . I truly don’t mind and take no offence .
It may be a temporary blip for guys who can’t get hard , and I would respectfully ask them not to meet us until it’s sorted . They can help themselves a whole lot better with women who don’t mind , and as has been suggested , try other things that don’t require an erection .
It’s all good , each to their own and all that .
"Merry Christmas to you | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
You two are normally amongst the least judgemental and not up themselves people on here, so this comment surprises me!
How can not getting hard or losing an erection mean you dont get the concept of swinging?
Well let’s put it this way . Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex . So if a guy can’t get hard , why would he join a site promoting sexual hook ups ?
So , the concept of swinging being the enjoyment of nsa sex , requires at the very least the ability to get a hard on , unless you are only into socials , board games , or humiliation .
From our perspective , I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet , and this invariably means he has to be having fun too . How will either of them have fun if he can’t get hard ? Thus the concept of swinging is lost , it’s no fun and a waste of everyone’s time isn’t it ?
My wife feels bad , he feels bad , and so do I .
I hope that explains my post .
"I hope that explains my post"
Well your explanation is poor tbh.
You also say: "If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here."
Well sometimes when a guy can't get hard; it is just a phase or temporary state. Some don't get hard on a first meet through nerves, but get hard on a second meet when they are more relaxed. Some go to see their GP and through counselling and medication they overcome the problem of getting hard.
In short it can be a temporary issue and not a permanent one.
Are you saying these guys are not supposed to be on this site? Even though their problem may just be a short-term issue?
And do you realise that advice from a "swinging site forum" like this one, can help those guys overcome those problems rather than them having to deal with it in isolation?
You also say: "Swinging is about hooking up with other like minded people for sex"
...and then later say: "I love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet..."
So... since you are not "hooking up with other like minded people for sex" but rather "love to see my wife having fun with the guys we meet.." then can we say you are not a swinger and maybe you should not be on a swinging site either ???
You may think my reasoning is poor , and that’s cool . You may also think that as I like to watch my wife having fun that I’m not a swinger , and shouldn’t be on here . That’s cool too . I truly don’t mind and take no offence .
It may be a temporary blip for guys who can’t get hard , and I would respectfully ask them not to meet us until it’s sorted . They can help themselves a whole lot better with women who don’t mind , and as has been suggested , try other things that don’t require an erection .
It’s all good , each to their own and all that .
Merry Christmas to you "And a merry Christmas to you too | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
Well I meant there's more to sex than penetration but we all have our own way of looking at things.
I agree there’s more to sex than penetration , but surely it shouldn’t be an effort should it ?
I see no pleasure for the guy or the woman if she spends ages trying to get his cock hard ...."No it shouldn't be an effort. We're soft swing so an erection or not isn't as important. I think everyone has their way of doing things and nobody is right or wrong. | |||
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"I'd feel bit of a failure tbh this for me too "And me . | |||
"How do women feel when a man can't get hard for sex?" is this from personal experience? | |||
"We have had it happen to us a few times with other couples. Only seems to be when it comes to putting a condom on. " I've had condom droop a couple of times before. Have had a woman use her mouth to put one on me before, which helped with the situation and extended foreplay helps too. | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
So..... the "very concept of swinging" is performing.... right?
Yep
But you just watch so you're not a swinger.
Watching us just a part of our swinging .
I would partake way more often than I do , but I have problems getting a hard on "Get the monopoly out and put the telly on and stay indoors where it's cosy. 
Merry Christmas  | |||
"On a meet I feel a bit sorry for the guy because they're clearly embarrassed. I don't blame myself because I assume that since they agreed to meet us they can't find me too much of a minger .
It happens, there's other stuff to do
Yeah like monopoly , trivial pursuit , cards , watch telly , order a takeaway , read a book etc.....
Happy days huh ?
In answer to the question , it’s never happened but if it did we would walk away and find a guy who understood the very concept of swinging .
If a guy can’t get hard then we see absolutely no point in him being on here , and even less point in him meeting a couple for a sexual liaison .
So..... the "very concept of swinging" is performing.... right?
Yep
But you just watch so you're not a swinger.
Watching us just a part of our swinging .
I would partake way more often than I do , but I have problems getting a hard on
Get the monopoly out and put the telly on and stay indoors where it's cosy.
Merry Christmas "Will do
Merry Christmas | |||
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"I don't believe any guy joins a swinging site who knows he can't get an erection. The point is that when you can't get one it normally takes you by surprise. If you are saying that every guy who might not be able to maintain erection at some point should not be on fab then every single guy on here should leave the site. " oh my I love it when the odds change ,when's this migration starting? | |||
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"I don't believe any guy joins a swinging site who knows he can't get an erection. The point is that when you can't get one it normally takes you by surprise. If you are saying that every guy who might not be able to maintain erection at some point should not be on fab then every single guy on here should leave the site. " Good point . Maybe if a guy is experiencing problems he could take a break from meeting those who like a meet to involve a hard cock , and get back in the swing when it’s sorted ? It seems like there are plenty who don’t mind , so he shouldn’t have to leave . Just make it clear before meets that they know he may not be able to get hard . | |||
"I know I'm meant to say 'Oh it doesn't matter, don't worry about it' And to be honest I always give these platitudes at the time. But actually guys it does matter! When I'm meeting you for nsa sex and you can't perform it's just a waste of time! If you've had performance issues or nerves in the past, why meet? And why meet without the little blue confidence pills? Because I'm damn sure if I was a guy I wouldn't put myself in that position! It's shit for the woman, and I imagine it's not great for the guy's confidence either!" Thank goodness we aren’t the only ones who think like this | |||
"I don't believe any guy joins a swinging site who knows he can't get an erection. The point is that when you can't get one it normally takes you by surprise. If you are saying that every guy who might not be able to maintain erection at some point should not be on fab then every single guy on here should leave the site. Good point . Maybe if a guy is experiencing problems he could take a break from meeting those who like a meet to involve a hard cock , and get back in the swing when it’s sorted ? It seems like there are plenty who don’t mind , so he shouldn’t have to leave . Just make it clear before meets that they know he may not be able to get hard . " Agreed, if you know you have an issue then you should be up front about it so people are free to make their own choices. I would imagine that guys who know they may have an issue are very much in the minority though. Only once have I not performed as I would like and it was totally unexpected as I think it is for most guys, I had no reason to think it would happen and it has never happened since. It's just the luck of the draw that the other party on that occasion may be dissapointed, and I can guarantee the guy who has the problem is even more dissapointed! | |||
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My advice from one guy to another is if this lifestyle dont get you hard... get another hobby and save embarrassing yourself, and your playmates! | |||
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