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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
So I’ve reached the point where I’m here at home with the kids playing and she is doing something or other and I feel alone. I can’t go out and leave her as her mental health has worsened. I can’t chat text or ??? as her paranoia is of the scale. So feel trapped unable to have fun chat with anyone that has the same interest as me. So I feel sad and alone. Is anyone else out there in a similar position?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You say in your profile she knows you're on here, if her position has changed maybe it's time to leave here and offer her the support she needs especially at this time of year.
Mental health is a complicated issue and if your wife is paranoid even though she knows you use this site maybe hide your profile for a bit |
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That was me Christmas 2002. April 2003 I left with the kids.
Best thing I ever did...I was slowly dying.
You know what your choices are don't you? It is down to you...putting the onus on your partner/kids is convenient. I'm not bwing unsympathetic: been there, but sometimes you just have to put yourself first.
Good luck. |
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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
Thanks for your responses. Yes I know what the I’ll wife thing sounds like. But when you need hants police to find your loopy wife once or twice a year it’s very real. When you are taking her to her appointments for the shrink every week to ensure she goes I don’t think there is much more I can do. Yes I know I can leave and with a clear conscience that I did my best for her but where dose that leave my family. Blown to bits I think. I would think she wouldn’t deal with a break up well and would probably end her self for good. That leaves the kids with no mum. Is that fair ?? Just to please myself ?? I don’t know ?? |
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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
She isn’t in one at the moment but she has been to several over the years with a great variance in there success. I’ve been with her for nearly twenty years things are getting harder as each year goes buy. I’m rarely on here when I’m at home and she doesn't have my screen name. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh dear OP, we don't envy your situation and there is no easy solution either.
We do feel you need to put yourself first a little, you are entitled to happiness.
Perhaps your wife needs a lot more help from professionals too, it must be a huge burden on your shoulders.
We really hope things improve for you in the future. |
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"She isn’t in one at the moment but she has been to several over the years with a great variance in there success. I’ve been with her for nearly twenty years things are getting harder as each year goes buy. I’m rarely on here when I’m at home and she doesn't have my screen name. "
I did mean for you if you're referring to my message. |
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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
"She isn’t in one at the moment but she has been to several over the years with a great variance in there success. I’ve been with her for nearly twenty years things are getting harder as each year goes buy. I’m rarely on here when I’m at home and she doesn't have my screen name.
I did mean for you if you're referring to my message."
Yes I was replying to you sorry should have been clear
I haven’t found any for me. I’ve asked the doctors many times and it seems that the partner is left to sort it out for themselves. I was promised help the time before last when the police found her. But like so many things nothing came of it. |
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"She isn’t in one at the moment but she has been to several over the years with a great variance in there success. I’ve been with her for nearly twenty years things are getting harder as each year goes buy. I’m rarely on here when I’m at home and she doesn't have my screen name.
I did mean for you if you're referring to my message.
Yes I was replying to you sorry should have been clear
I haven’t found any for me. I’ve asked the doctors many times and it seems that the partner is left to sort it out for themselves. I was promised help the time before last when the police found her. But like so many things nothing came of it. "
That's terrible there's no support or help for partner's,I can only imagine how hard it is for all off the family your children included. |
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To be blunt
This situation isn’t healthy for your children and if it were me I’d be more concerned for them than myself
Your wife sounds like she needs care you can provide and unfortunately only an institution (even if only temporary) is going to be able to provide her the constant help she needs if the situation is as severe as you’re making it sound
If you truely care for her and your children it’s time to make some very tough choices for the greater good |
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"To be blunt
This situation isn’t healthy for your children and if it were me I’d be more concerned for them than myself
Your wife sounds like she needs care you can provide and unfortunately only an institution (even if only temporary) is going to be able to provide her the constant help she needs if the situation is as severe as you’re making it sound
If you truely care for her and your children it’s time to make some very tough choices for the greater good "
You can't jump to those conclusions I'm afraid. A golden rule is psychology is you don't do remote diagnostics of other peoples patients.
A few life hacks are that there are very few situations that can't get worse, this certainly could. Kids prefer living with both their biological parents and people do get better with treatment. There's no reason to believe that she won't get better in time so the OP should hang in there in my opinion. |
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"To be blunt
This situation isn’t healthy for your children and if it were me I’d be more concerned for them than myself
Your wife sounds like she needs care you can provide and unfortunately only an institution (even if only temporary) is going to be able to provide her the constant help she needs if the situation is as severe as you’re making it sound
If you truely care for her and your children it’s time to make some very tough choices for the greater good
You can't jump to those conclusions I'm afraid. A golden rule is psychology is you don't do remote diagnostics of other peoples patients.
A few life hacks are that there are very few situations that can't get worse, this certainly could. Kids prefer living with both their biological parents and people do get better with treatment. There's no reason to believe that she won't get better in time so the OP should hang in there in my opinion. "
Actually I can think of plenty of kids that don’t prefer to live with their biological parents, especially when in an home environment that could be considered toxic towards them in some way. It’s a very outdated viewpoint that children only do well in an environment with their biological parents
One of my oldest friends grew up in a home similar to this she’s carries great resentment towards both her parents, so much so she’s hasn’t seen them since she was 16 and chose to move in with me and my family, we’re both now in our 30s. She’s hated her dad for making a life a misery and her mum for it seeing how unhappy her and siblings were and not taking them out of the situation and getting her father the real help he needed.
Now while I can’t speak for the OPs situation on a personal level, I can give my opinion based on the little information he’s provided and my experience of trying to support her through that situation for more years than I care to recall.
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By *r.ring OP Man
over a year ago
totton |
"To be blunt
This situation isn’t healthy for your children and if it were me I’d be more concerned for them than myself
Your wife sounds like she needs care you can provide and unfortunately only an institution (even if only temporary) is going to be able to provide her the constant help she needs if the situation is as severe as you’re making it sound
If you truely care for her and your children it’s time to make some very tough choices for the greater good
You can't jump to those conclusions I'm afraid. A golden rule is psychology is you don't do remote diagnostics of other peoples patients.
A few life hacks are that there are very few situations that can't get worse, this certainly could. Kids prefer living with both their biological parents and people do get better with treatment. There's no reason to believe that she won't get better in time so the OP should hang in there in my opinion. "
Thankyou. I’m trying hard to but it is increasingly hard to especially as I said when I started I’m feeling isolated and lonely.
I have a special friend that I used to see recently but her life has moved on and there is now little time for me. |
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