FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Definition of Swinging
Definition of Swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Quote: Swinging, sometimes called wife swapping or partner swapping, is a non-monogamous behavior in which both singles and partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity. Wikipedia
Don't mean to offend anyone as we all have different desires etc.... even between partners ! Lol but what woul be the consensus of having another access level on the site (much like another site I was a member of, not swinging related) where you were given access to confidential material based upon your qualifications.
My suggestion would be if you had 'a number' of verifications from actual meets then you could browse other actual swinging couples?
Still with their little quirks, fetish and desires but would go some way in sifting out some timewasters, fantasists and just plain liars.
The number of 'users' and for argument sake let's assume they are couples or as they say they are but have been on site for years without any sort of verification.
Granted I get the financial element but for one couple we'd be happy to say double the subscription to have more tailored "swinging" site.... just a thought after a few ciders xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and it's not a criticism of singles etc as that's an element of swinging (to state the obvious) but .... oh I sure you know what I mean   x"
Are you after a couple's only site who have passed an exam in fucking other people's partners?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me: receives message, views profile, sees that person has not met for three years, deletes message.
Is that not simple enough?
And as a single person would I have access to this swinging elite area? |
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Yeah i think it's a good idea, there are certain singles here who believe fab swingers isn't even a swinging website and is just for people "fucking around". I wish we had a safe space for couples who actually get it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Me: receives message, views profile, sees that person has not met for three years, deletes message.
Is that not simple enough?
And as a single person would I have access to this swinging elite area? "
Get that but there are many timewasters..... elite area I would say is not the best title but singles that swing verified by couples of course.
I was merely suggesting something based on our own perception of swinging being a couples activity and not just singles meeting other singles.... is that swinging? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and it's not a criticism of singles etc as that's an element of swinging (to state the obvious) but .... oh I sure you know what I mean x"
I know what you mean and I understand your reasoning. It's possible that it may work. Maybe people already have groups of friends that they socialise/ meet with and it works the way you mean. 
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"Me: receives message, views profile, sees that person has not met for three years, deletes message.
Is that not simple enough?
And as a single person would I have access to this swinging elite area? "
We’re not good enough for the platinum membership  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yeah i think it's a good idea, there are certain singles here who believe fab swingers isn't even a swinging website and is just for people "fucking around". I wish we had a safe space for couples who actually get it."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i think it's a good idea, there are certain singles here who believe fab swingers isn't even a swinging website and is just for people "fucking around". I wish we had a safe space for couples who actually get it."
Some singles 'get it' too. Should they be penalised for not having a swinging partner? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
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"To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
"
So cos I will meet couples and I want a swinging relationship I’m ok? Or not? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP I think you have spotted a gap in the market. From what I've seen no other sites are run in this way.
Why not set up your own site that runs just how you want it? "
Lol no got enough to do + haven't a clue how too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me: receives message, views profile, sees that person has not met for three years, deletes message.
Is that not simple enough?
And as a single person would I have access to this swinging elite area?
Get that but there are many timewasters..... elite area I would say is not the best title but singles that swing verified by couples of course.
I was merely suggesting something based on our own perception of swinging being a couples activity and not just singles meeting other singles.... is that swinging?"
By your own definition yes it is swinging. I'm all for rooting out time wasters and the fake profiles, but I'm not sure excluding people who don't meet certain views on what swinging is would be the solution  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
"
You can meet people like that on here. Trust your gut and you'll spot time wasters before they waste your time.
You're allowed whatever view of swinging you like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In my idea it would include any person verified by a couple  as 1 single meeting another single can't be classified as swinging surely !
Again not having a go at singles !!
and also people who only wish to chat or cam etc (and I do like the cam / chat rooms) likewise xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
You can meet people like that on here. Trust your gut and you'll spot time wasters before they waste your time.
You're allowed whatever view of swinging you like. "
That's very true and fair x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What about me? I'm in a relationship with a woman I met here..she has a profile as do i and we prefer to play our own way mostly..I wouldn't want to have to use the couples account really.
I see what you mean though, I'm sure some folk would like an exclusively couples site or similar..
Out of selfishness i wouldn't want fab to turn that way though as I like using it my own way rather than from a couples account.
What if you set your filters to only allow those you seek to contact you? Would that go some way to customising fab to your own liking? Not perfect but.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What about me? I'm in a relationship with a woman I met here..she has a profile as do i and we prefer to play our own way mostly..I wouldn't want to have to use the couples account really.
I see what you mean though, I'm sure some folk would like an exclusively couples site or similar..
Out of selfishness i wouldn't want fab to turn that way though as I like using it my own way rather than from a couples account.
What if you set your filters to only allow those you seek to contact you? Would that go some way to customising fab to your own liking? Not perfect but...."
Filters could be a way too but there are some.
This was a thought I had and in no way meant to exclude but rather as you say filter a little more.
It's also true to say "just ignore" some people etc but we all need to start somewhere..... like us returning again lol
In fact regretting I started this lol |
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"Yeah i think it's a good idea, there are certain singles here who believe fab swingers isn't even a swinging website and is just for people "fucking around". I wish we had a safe space for couples who actually get it.
Some singles 'get it' too. Should they be penalised for not having a swinging partner?"
Yes, every war has innocent casualties |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i think it's a good idea, there are certain singles here who believe fab swingers isn't even a swinging website and is just for people "fucking around". I wish we had a safe space for couples who actually get it.
Some singles 'get it' too. Should they be penalised for not having a swinging partner?
Yes, every war has innocent casualties "
Goodbye, cruel world.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about me? I'm in a relationship with a woman I met here..she has a profile as do i and we prefer to play our own way mostly..I wouldn't want to have to use the couples account really.
I see what you mean though, I'm sure some folk would like an exclusively couples site or similar..
Out of selfishness i wouldn't want fab to turn that way though as I like using it my own way rather than from a couples account.
What if you set your filters to only allow those you seek to contact you? Would that go some way to customising fab to your own liking? Not perfect but....
Filters could be a way too but there are some.
This was a thought I had and in no way meant to exclude but rather as you say filter a little more.
It's also true to say "just ignore" some people etc but we all need to start somewhere..... like us returning again lol
In fact regretting I started this lol "
Don't regret starting it, I wasn't having a go, just shoving ideas about really.
I'm pretty happy with the site so not too fussed, they were just a couple of casual suggestions really |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What about me? I'm in a relationship with a woman I met here..she has a profile as do i and we prefer to play our own way mostly..I wouldn't want to have to use the couples account really.
I see what you mean though, I'm sure some folk would like an exclusively couples site or similar..
Out of selfishness i wouldn't want fab to turn that way though as I like using it my own way rather than from a couples account.
What if you set your filters to only allow those you seek to contact you? Would that go some way to customising fab to your own liking? Not perfect but....
Filters could be a way too but there are some.
This was a thought I had and in no way meant to exclude but rather as you say filter a little more.
It's also true to say "just ignore" some people etc but we all need to start somewhere..... like us returning again lol
In fact regretting I started this lol
Don't regret starting it, I wasn't having a go, just shoving ideas about really.
I'm pretty happy with the site so not too fussed, they were just a couple of casual suggestions really "
 I think it could be another additional level and all welcome
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OP... This is a great question.
It would seem a LOT of Fabbers, especially singles, think swinging is just casual sex with lots of people.
If that's the definition of swinging then I was a baddass swinger in my earlier years.
My definition (and I'm not suggesting anyone agrees) is a relationship that would typically be monogomous involving more people.
Just shagging around is a pretty shite definition of swinging if you ask me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP... This is a great question.
It would seem a LOT of Fabbers, especially singles, think swinging is just casual sex with lots of people.
If that's the definition of swinging then I was a baddass swinger in my earlier years.
My definition (and I'm not suggesting anyone agrees) is a relationship that would typically be monogomous involving more people.
Just shagging around is a pretty shite definition of swinging if you ask me."
You can't have monogamy and involve more people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
"
Just a question, why not FB's? Not that I'm that keen on that term. My 'swinging partner' and I are very close, understand and trust each other 100% - I just happen to be happily married to someone else (who I also swing with). Jx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
Just a question, why not FB's? Not that I'm that keen on that term. My 'swinging partner' and I are very close, understand and trust each other 100% - I just happen to be happily married to someone else (who I also swing with). Jx"
Oh  Good question.... I'm no authority on this lol and need time to think lol
It's a difficult one that I'll phone a friend |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To me and it's only a personal view is that swinging is a couple ( not fb's) adding another person or persons into their sex life be it singles or ff mm to etc and if any one fits that and is verified..... your more than welcome x
Just a question, why not FB's? Not that I'm that keen on that term. My 'swinging partner' and I are very close, understand and trust each other 100% - I just happen to be happily married to someone else (who I also swing with). Jx"
Don't know why I had to think it's not about our personal preferences of course you'd be welcome x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This was an idea lol I wasn't trying to create a new list of rules etc "
 People often take things literally and think their world is imploding. Don't worry about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately I don't think you'll get much of a hearing on the forum as it there is a large contingent of singles.
For my two pence, I often think the experience most couples have swinging is totally different from singles. For singles it often has more in common with dating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes, we think you are spot on hence the original point not knocking singles and appreciate the draw/fun of inviting them into a couples play so not knocking that but singles looking for singles ain’t swinging..... is it?
No offence intended xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP... This is a great question.
It would seem a LOT of Fabbers, especially singles, think swinging is just casual sex with lots of people.
If that's the definition of swinging then I was a baddass swinger in my earlier years.
My definition (and I'm not suggesting anyone agrees) is a relationship that would typically be monogomous involving more people.
Just shagging around is a pretty shite definition of swinging if you ask me."
Well put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
"
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone has their own definition of swinging. It's implicit in how they use fab.
None of us are obliged to follow any rule book created for the self serving benefit of others...
I've just found another pidgoen hole I don't quite manage to fit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on."
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice."
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the whole we only play with swingers, but most of the swingers we play with are single men. We would not feel comfortable meeting a guy off Fab who was not a swinger. It can be laborious idenfying the single guys who have chosen to be part of the lifestyle, so it would be useful if that filtering process was done for us. Not sure how though. Unless there were 2 sections to Fab and people joined the one they most identified with.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this. "
These are regular swinging partners - sex and friendship with no great involvement. I would have thought polyamorous implied a greater level of emotional involvement.
I know several singles who swing like this - some regular friends/wing men and separate profiles, attend clubs and social events.
Disclaimer - am tentatively in a relationship but that is separate to the argument I'm making here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this. "
When I was single I used dating sites to find multiple men to go out with. The relationships were casual and often short lived so I didn’t regard it as polyamory. I also didn’t think I was a swinger, even though I over had a few sex partners. I don’t know if what I did back then was different from single meeting singles via swingers sites.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah i think it's a good idea, there are certain singles here who believe fab swingers isn't even a swinging website and is just for people "fucking around". I wish we had a safe space for couples who actually get it."
And for us singles who “get it”? Because a fair proportion of couples seek singles to join them. On my previous profile...before I took a little break. I had 230+ verifications. Would that get me in this “special club”? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this.
These are regular swinging partners - sex and friendship with no great involvement. I would have thought polyamorous implied a greater level of emotional involvement.
I know several singles who swing like this - some regular friends/wing men and separate profiles, attend clubs and social events.
Disclaimer - am tentatively in a relationship but that is separate to the argument I'm making here."
Thanks for explaining more and it is intetesting hearing your point of view as you are approaching swinging from a very different place to us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this.
When I was single I used dating sites to find multiple men to go out with. The relationships were casual and often short lived so I didn’t regard it as polyamory. I also didn’t think I was a swinger, even though I over had a few sex partners. I don’t know if what I did back then was different from single meeting singles via swingers sites.
Mrs"
And did you go to events where these guys were present, happy in the knowledge that they had all been with you, where you were comfortable with them being with other people, with the possibility that any or all of you might end up having sex together that night? Singles swinging is not serial dating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this.
When I was single I used dating sites to find multiple men to go out with. The relationships were casual and often short lived so I didn’t regard it as polyamory. I also didn’t think I was a swinger, even though I over had a few sex partners. I don’t know if what I did back then was different from single meeting singles via swingers sites.
Mrs
And did you go to events where these guys were present, happy in the knowledge that they had all been with you, where you were comfortable with them being with other people, with the possibility that any or all of you might end up having sex together that night? Singles swinging is not serial dating."
No I didn’t. But I don’t think many singles on Fab do that either if they are only interested in meeting other singles. Certainly I’ve never met a single swinger in a club who has no interest in sex involving more that 2 people, though I’m sure there are a few. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this.
When I was single I used dating sites to find multiple men to go out with. The relationships were casual and often short lived so I didn’t regard it as polyamory. I also didn’t think I was a swinger, even though I over had a few sex partners. I don’t know if what I did back then was different from single meeting singles via swingers sites.
Mrs
And did you go to events where these guys were present, happy in the knowledge that they had all been with you, where you were comfortable with them being with other people, with the possibility that any or all of you might end up having sex together that night? Singles swinging is not serial dating.
No I didn’t. But I don’t think many singles on Fab do that either if they are only interested in meeting other singles. Certainly I’ve never met a single swinger in a club who has no interest in sex involving more that 2 people, though I’m sure there are a few. "
I agree with you that singles in clubs are often interested in 3+ scenarios, but we can achieve that easily with single friends, just invite more of them along...
Had a great club night recently with five friends and a couple. I'll admit there was a couple.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this.
When I was single I used dating sites to find multiple men to go out with. The relationships were casual and often short lived so I didn’t regard it as polyamory. I also didn’t think I was a swinger, even though I over had a few sex partners. I don’t know if what I did back then was different from single meeting singles via swingers sites.
Mrs
And did you go to events where these guys were present, happy in the knowledge that they had all been with you, where you were comfortable with them being with other people, with the possibility that any or all of you might end up having sex together that night? Singles swinging is not serial dating.
No I didn’t. But I don’t think many singles on Fab do that either if they are only interested in meeting other singles. Certainly I’ve never met a single swinger in a club who has no interest in sex involving more that 2 people, though I’m sure there are a few.
I agree with you that singles in clubs are often interested in 3+ scenarios, but we can achieve that easily with single friends, just invite more of them along...
Had a great club night recently with five friends and a couple. I'll admit there was a couple.."
I don’t think anybody’s questioning singles at clubs being swingers. What’s being questioned is whether singles meeting other singles for private sex in a similar way that they might meet via a dating site, is swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, we think you are spot on hence the original point not knocking singles and appreciate the draw/fun of inviting them into a couples play so not knocking that but singles looking for singles ain’t swinging..... is it?
No offence intended xx"
I'm single and you are right swinging is for couples really. No offence taken your entitled to have an opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll bite :
I'd say singles who have adventurous sex with a number of regular friends, go to swinging clubs and swinging socials are swingers, even if they NEVER have sexual contact with a couple in the whole of their swinging career.
Adventurous non-monogamous sex with regular partners is not 'just' fucking around.
Having a number of regular partners is not being single as by definition there are relationships going on.
My bad. I guess I'm not single then.
But I hate the idea of a 'special' membership tier and don't see how it could work in practice.
Would you consider yourself single or polyamorous? Genuinely intetested in your take on this.
When I was single I used dating sites to find multiple men to go out with. The relationships were casual and often short lived so I didn’t regard it as polyamory. I also didn’t think I was a swinger, even though I over had a few sex partners. I don’t know if what I did back then was different from single meeting singles via swingers sites.
Mrs
And did you go to events where these guys were present, happy in the knowledge that they had all been with you, where you were comfortable with them being with other people, with the possibility that any or all of you might end up having sex together that night? Singles swinging is not serial dating.
No I didn’t. But I don’t think many singles on Fab do that either if they are only interested in meeting other singles. Certainly I’ve never met a single swinger in a club who has no interest in sex involving more that 2 people, though I’m sure there are a few.
I agree with you that singles in clubs are often interested in 3+ scenarios, but we can achieve that easily with single friends, just invite more of them along...
Had a great club night recently with five friends and a couple. I'll admit there was a couple..
I don’t think anybody’s questioning singles at clubs being swingers. What’s being questioned is whether singles meeting other singles for private sex in a similar way that they might meet via a dating site, is swinging. "
I tend to the inclusive rather than the inclusive, so I'd say if they want to use the site that way, then go for it. Surely the more active members a site can attract the better? I still don't think an executive tier would help out the timewasters and flakes, which are the profiles the active participants are trying to avoid. They'd just find ways to game the system, through false veris or minimal veris, and the site would be a lot less welcoming to newcomers, causing it to atrophy. |
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