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Ask an Owned Sub
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"Brilliant, as I said in the other thread your dynamic intrigues me. I'll come back to you  " | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. " Totally agree, and I’m in if people want to ask questions, whether on this thread or privately just ask away | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. " Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? | |||
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"Brilliant, as I said in the other thread your dynamic intrigues me. I'll come back to you " please do. | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. " | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. " That’s just a normal relationship. | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not?" I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not?" We are a couple so any meets / play are simply discussed. There is a new scenario that I’m going to be discussing with him shortly. If he approves we will arrange and if he doesn’t we won’t. That’s actually no different to any other relationship I’ve been in. | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned?" We met on Fab in October last year. His profile was a single Dom looking for NSA fun with singles and couples. Mine was a single fem profile looking for NSA sub play. We met and fell in love and we now live together as a normal couple. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. Totally agree, and I’m in if people want to ask questions, whether on this thread or privately just ask away" Thank you | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol" Does your Dom ever say 'No'? | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned?" We had both been in the lifestyle for many years and started playing together, things progressed as they often do in relationships. He officially collared me the day after our wedding ceremony at a collaring ceremony attended by many of our friends from the scene. It was wonderful and felt so much more relevant to us than the words said at our wedding as we were able to say things that really said how we felt about each other | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned? We met on Fab in October last year. His profile was a single Dom looking for NSA fun with singles and couples. Mine was a single fem profile looking for NSA sub play. We met and fell in love and we now live together as a normal couple. "  | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned? We had both been in the lifestyle for many years and started playing together, things progressed as they often do in relationships. He officially collared me the day after our wedding ceremony at a collaring ceremony attended by many of our friends from the scene. It was wonderful and felt so much more relevant to us than the words said at our wedding as we were able to say things that really said how we felt about each other" Aww | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Does your Dom ever say 'No'?" Sometimes but not often and probably not about playthings (He loves to play lol) but sometimes about other sorts of everyday decisions | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. That’s just a normal relationship. " In a 'normal' relationship, there shouldn't be control, a person should never control someone's life, a normal relationship should be based on a balance, equal levels. I'm taking about the sexual side of things. Allowing someone, for example to tie you up, restrain you, you're helpless but also aware that you are perfectly safe | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned? We had both been in the lifestyle for many years and started playing together, things progressed as they often do in relationships. He officially collared me the day after our wedding ceremony at a collaring ceremony attended by many of our friends from the scene. It was wonderful and felt so much more relevant to us than the words said at our wedding as we were able to say things that really said how we felt about each other"  | |||
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"Would love to find a female dom "Well hello there precious | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Does your Dom ever say 'No'? Sometimes but not often and probably not about playthings (He loves to play lol) but sometimes about other sorts of everyday decisions " When he says no does it make sense to you why he says no or does he leave you wondering? Also in the event you disagree with his decision has it ever occurred that later it all made sense? | |||
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"Would love to find a female dom
Well hello there precious "Mmmmm hello yourself | |||
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"Do you think your type of relationship is different to any other regarding how open you are with your thoughts and feelings. How honest can you be considering you are owned, does that make a difference to how you communicate since you have been owned do you think?" I’m not sure if it’s the type of relationship or the person FT is. But he has given me more in our time together than I’ve ever experienced before. Amazing communication, honesty and trust. Things that were sadly lacking in my previous long term relationships. He makes me feel so loved, safe and secure. So naturally I feel able to be honest. That’s instinctively my character anyway. | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned? We met on Fab in October last year. His profile was a single Dom looking for NSA fun with singles and couples. Mine was a single fem profile looking for NSA sub play. We met and fell in love and we now live together as a normal couple. " What a great outcome for you both. | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Does your Dom ever say 'No'?" Sometimes. And sometimes I do too. | |||
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"Do you think your type of relationship is different to any other regarding how open you are with your thoughts and feelings. How honest can you be considering you are owned, does that make a difference to how you communicate since you have been owned do you think? I’m not sure if it’s the type of relationship or the person FT is. But he has given me more in our time together than I’ve ever experienced before. Amazing communication, honesty and trust. Things that were sadly lacking in my previous long term relationships. He makes me feel so loved, safe and secure. So naturally I feel able to be honest. That’s instinctively my character anyway. " Thank you for an honest answer. I would guess that it's all of the above  | |||
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"Do you think your type of relationship is different to any other regarding how open you are with your thoughts and feelings. How honest can you be considering you are owned, does that make a difference to how you communicate since you have been owned do you think? I’m not sure if it’s the type of relationship or the person FT is. But he has given me more in our time together than I’ve ever experienced before. Amazing communication, honesty and trust. Things that were sadly lacking in my previous long term relationships. He makes me feel so loved, safe and secure. So naturally I feel able to be honest. That’s instinctively my character anyway. " Very well explained | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Does your Dom ever say 'No'? Sometimes but not often and probably not about playthings (He loves to play lol) but sometimes about other sorts of everyday decisions When he says no does it make sense to you why he says no or does he leave you wondering? Also in the event you disagree with his decision has it ever occurred that later it all made sense? He always explains why he’s said no. We have disagreed on this before and we’ve gone with his decision and it’s turned out he was right all along. Lol he’s good at getting things right, that’s why it works so well for us" So I guess then in the future you'd be less inclined to disagree and resign yourself to the fact that he has your best interests at heart and will inevitably probably be right anyway 
Does this frustrate you? Lol | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Does your Dom ever say 'No'? Sometimes but not often and probably not about playthings (He loves to play lol) but sometimes about other sorts of everyday decisions When he says no does it make sense to you why he says no or does he leave you wondering? Also in the event you disagree with his decision has it ever occurred that later it all made sense?" He always explains why he’s said no. When we disagree we go with his decision and it’s turned out he was right all along | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Does your Dom ever say 'No'? Sometimes but not often and probably not about playthings (He loves to play lol) but sometimes about other sorts of everyday decisions When he says no does it make sense to you why he says no or does he leave you wondering? Also in the event you disagree with his decision has it ever occurred that later it all made sense? He always explains why he’s said no. We have disagreed on this before and we’ve gone with his decision and it’s turned out he was right all along. Lol he’s good at getting things right, that’s why it works so well for us So I guess then in the future you'd be less inclined to disagree and resign yourself to the fact that he has your best interests at heart and will inevitably probably be right anyway
Does this frustrate you? Lol"Less inclined to disagree because he has a proven track record of being right. No resignation needed. And no I’m not frustrated by that at all | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned? We met on Fab in October last year. His profile was a single Dom looking for NSA fun with singles and couples. Mine was a single fem profile looking for NSA sub play. We met and fell in love and we now live together as a normal couple. " are u owned or are u just sub& dom couple ? | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! " Then you've either misunderstood their dynamic or have met people in abusive relationships. If you read the thread through again you might understand a bit more | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. " here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit " Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit " Hard limits are set by individual couples before anything else is agreed on. If your hard limit is no shit then it would be very wrong of the Dom to ask the sub to eat it and a good Dom wouldn’t cross a hard limit like this | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! " I met somebody like that in a club. I was out of the playroom shortly after he showed his true colours. The aim is to be dominant NOT domineering. In control but NOT controlling. In contrast, I've met a Dom and Domme who seemed quite knowledgeable and I was more than happy to be guided by them at the time. In fact, I feel like I learned a lot during those sessions. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. " Correct | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Then you've either misunderstood their dynamic or have met people in abusive relationships. If you read the thread through again you might understand a bit more "I get the dynamic when it’s a fun thing, but when it’s deeper and darker....that’s when I’m out of there, we’ve all played a bit of d/s in a play situation as it’s fun but for most only lasts for a little time but there are guys who take this seriously beyond the bedroom. | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! " Thanks for the post. Do you have a question or are you happy to assume all of us are like you describe one couple ? | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Then you've either misunderstood their dynamic or have met people in abusive relationships. If you read the thread through again you might understand a bit more
I get the dynamic when it’s a fun thing, but when it’s deeper and darker....that’s when I’m out of there, we’ve all played a bit of d/s in a play situation as it’s fun but for most only lasts for a little time but there are guys who take this seriously beyond the bedroom. "I think the bit you are missing is that if it is done right then it is only darker when BOTH people in the relationship have agreed they want it that way. They agree that ultimately that is what makes then happy. | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Thanks for the post. Do you have a question or are you happy to assume all of us are like you describe one couple ?" I’m sorry you don’t like the fact that I’ve posted my experience, where did I say I assumed all was like that, you may own someone but you don’t own this forum. | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! I met somebody like that in a club. I was out of the playroom shortly after he showed his true colours. The aim is to be dominant NOT domineering. In control but NOT controlling. In contrast, I've met a Dom and Domme who seemed quite knowledgeable and I was more than happy to be guided by them at the time. In fact, I feel like I learned a lot during those sessions. " That is a massive clue to how it should be and in many many many cases this is the difference. Dominant not domineering. That is the difference between the real thing and not. | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Thanks for the post. Do you have a question or are you happy to assume all of us are like you describe one couple ? I’m sorry you don’t like the fact that I’ve posted my experience, where did I say I assumed all was like that, you may own someone but you don’t own this forum." I’m the sub. The clue was in the thread title. It’s for people to ask questions. What’s your question please? Why did you post back assuming I’m Sir in that rather nasty fashion. He’s not a forumite. | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Thanks for the post. Do you have a question or are you happy to assume all of us are like you describe one couple ? I’m sorry you don’t like the fact that I’ve posted my experience, where did I say I assumed all was like that, you may own someone but you don’t own this forum. I’m the sub. The clue was in the thread title. It’s for people to ask questions. What’s your question please? Why did you post back assuming I’m Sir in that rather nasty fashion. He’s not a forumite. " I did assume the previous post was from the Dom and replied to that as I just saw the start of the user name so apologies for that. It wasn’t meant to be nasty but I was on the defence. Of course I don’t assume that all d/s relationships are like the ones I’ve come across, I’m only relaying my experience and therefore why I’m a bit negative about it. But a forum like this gives me a chance to learn more about it and maybe I’ll meet a nice couple like you one day. Have a lovely Xmas xx | |||
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"When did you first mention that you wanted to be owned/ who brought it up? How long had you been together. How was it mentioned? We met on Fab in October last year. His profile was a single Dom looking for NSA fun with singles and couples. Mine was a single fem profile looking for NSA sub play. We met and fell in love and we now live together as a normal couple. " How wonderful for you both. I live in hope! | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Thanks for the post. Do you have a question or are you happy to assume all of us are like you describe one couple ? I’m sorry you don’t like the fact that I’ve posted my experience, where did I say I assumed all was like that, you may own someone but you don’t own this forum. I’m the sub. The clue was in the thread title. It’s for people to ask questions. What’s your question please? Why did you post back assuming I’m Sir in that rather nasty fashion. He’s not a forumite. I did assume the previous post was from the Dom and replied to that as I just saw the start of the user name so apologies for that. It wasn’t meant to be nasty but I was on the defence. Of course I don’t assume that all d/s relationships are like the ones I’ve come across, I’m only relaying my experience and therefore why I’m a bit negative about it. But a forum like this gives me a chance to learn more about it and maybe I’ll meet a nice couple like you one day. Have a lovely Xmas xx" I appreciate your post thank you. The thread is to dispel myths. I’m sure there are people like you describe, but I would call that abusive. My partner would never treat me like that. He says the sub dom relationship is about the sub voluntary giving over power during play sessions. Our life is not based on this and not all our sex life is either. | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Then you've either misunderstood their dynamic or have met people in abusive relationships. If you read the thread through again you might understand a bit more
I get the dynamic when it’s a fun thing, but when it’s deeper and darker....that’s when I’m out of there, we’ve all played a bit of d/s in a play situation as it’s fun but for most only lasts for a little time but there are guys who take this seriously beyond the bedroom. "You're assuming that it's always the man who's dom. It isn't. There are couples who live that sort of relationship 24/7 but again the sub isn't always the woman it is also possible to have this kind of dynamic in same sex relationships. | |||
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"It's vitally important to me (as a man who just happens to be Dominant) to fully understand the needs of my submissive. This quotation (from an author called Cherise Sinclair) seems to sum it up nicely - and reading through it may answer some of your questions too: “It's hard for an educated woman to turn her head off. That's part of the joy of being a submissive. None of the decisions are yours. When you can't refuse anything and can't even move, those voices in your head go silent. All you can do, and all you are permitted to do, is feel.”" This is all new for me as I’d never previously think of myself being a submissive, but I’ve found a man willing to train me and show me new things... the training continues and I’m coping with orders, read up on how to behave/what to expect, all fascinating... | |||
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"What do you do if your owner is hogging the blanket at night?" Explain I’m cold and ask for more blanket, he’s not gonna want me being cold simples | |||
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"What do you do if your owner is hogging the blanket at night? Explain I’m cold and ask for more blanket, he’s not gonna want me being cold simples" Lol. I say, would you like some more bed  | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. " the sub is the one in control really? | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? " Yes
Sir is an alpha confident Male Dom. Not an abusive bully. My happiness is everything to him. | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol" Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? | |||
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"What do you do if your owner is hogging the blanket at night?" I'm not owned our dynamic doesn't include that but just as with any other couple I imagine you poke him or her sharply in the back and say "give me back my blankets" in a really cross voice | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? " Oooo good one lol | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. " .
To the OP. Good post.You will always get negative comments from those who don't or wont understand..... Its aways the minority though. | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? " Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. Many times he’s told me to do something that I actually want to do but am too scared to do it and after it’s done and it was so much fun I’m like all thank you for making me do that I loved it can we do it again lol | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? " I’d consider anything seriously because I love to please him. But if there was something I wasn’t up for, the answer would be no. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? " There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? I’d consider anything seriously because I love to please him. But if there was something I wasn’t up for, the answer would be no. " I think that's the same in any loving and equal relationship though not just a d/s one. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film." If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that "Me too | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that "Will do. I think there might have been subtitles. I know that doesn't narrow it down much  | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too "I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too
I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy "The secretary has always been my favourite | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too
I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy "Looks like it could be. Thanks... | |||
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"I definitely ignore profiles where a women is owned as I don’t want a guy having some sort of control on what I can/can’t do to his sub at all, so it’s a complete turn off for me. Lots of stuff mentioned here is normal sex, like being tied up, blindfolded etc. That’s all fun stuff to do. I find it a little disturbing I guess that some guy has control over someone and maybe more than one lady, so he owns a few. I’ve chatted to a few guys who ‘own’ women and I was like “does she mind me doing this” and he was like “she will do what I fucking tell her to do” and that scared me off! Thanks for the post. Do you have a question or are you happy to assume all of us are like you describe one couple ? I’m sorry you don’t like the fact that I’ve posted my experience, where did I say I assumed all was like that, you may own someone but you don’t own this forum. I’m the sub. The clue was in the thread title. It’s for people to ask questions. What’s your question please? " He isn't obliged to ask a question, he can just join in the subject | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too
I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy "Is it any good ? | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l" Then that isn't the sub being in control | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too
I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy
Is it any good ? "I can’t really remember, it’s quite slow I think and it does seem to show the sub topping from the bottom rather than how a subs limits can control things. As always with movies they never seem to get the D/s thing quite right | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. .
To the OP. Good post.You will always get negative comments from those who don't or wont understand..... Its aways the minority though." thanks | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control" but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control" Every relationship is different | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control" But then if he asked me to do something I really didn’t want to do I could always leave so I still have that level of control | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control" To be fair I didn't say you did, I am going on the comments in the thread what other people have said. I assumed they were knowledgeable on the subject and knew this was the case. So is the sub not in control? | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control But then if he asked me to do something I really didn’t want to do I could always leave so I still have that level of control" To be fair, your post said you have done things you didn't want to do. If you had said no to that pressurising what would have happened? | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control To be fair I didn't say you did, I am going on the comments in the thread what other people have said. I assumed they were knowledgeable on the subject and knew this was the case. So is the sub not in control?" It’s totally up to each individual couple | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? " Some don’t take as serious limits and safewords. Two Doms in particular I’ve experienced didn’t stop when asked, even continuing after safe words were used. Whether this is because of a lack of experience in D/s, an arrogance that they know best or serving their own needs first, it’s certainly not right and lost them my respect and trust, the very thing both needed. Those in longer term D/s relationships, have you ever experienced this? | |||
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" Allowing someone, for example to tie you up, restrain you, you're helpless but also aware that you are perfectly safe " You see we do stuff like this but I don't think you have to be in a Dom/sub relationship for that | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control But then if he asked me to do something I really didn’t want to do I could always leave so I still have that level of control To be fair, your post said you have done things you didn't want to do. If you had said no to that pressurising what would have happened?" I can’t say I’ve ever felt pressured, I agreed to our way of doing things before we started and it’s how i wanted to do things. We do what we want to do the way we want to do it. It turns me on to be his slave, if he hadn’t wanted a slave like me and I hadn’t wanted an owner like him we would never have got together in the first place. It is the style of relationship we both want and enjoy | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too
I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy
Is it any good ? "The Duke of Burgundy is the one! We enjoyed it, it was thought provoking. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? Some don’t take as serious limits and safewords. Two Doms in particular I’ve experienced didn’t stop when asked, even continuing after safe words were used. Whether this is because of a lack of experience in D/s, an arrogance that they know best or serving their own needs first, it’s certainly not right and lost them my respect and trust, the very thing both needed. Those in longer term D/s relationships, have you ever experienced this? " Absolutely not. That’s very disrespectful. Sir is a gentleman. | |||
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"I was the one who mentioned the sub being in control but I didn't say they always are. Every dynamic is individual to the people in the relationship." | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. " To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control But then if he asked me to do something I really didn’t want to do I could always leave so I still have that level of control To be fair, your post said you have done things you didn't want to do. If you had said no to that pressurising what would have happened? I can’t say I’ve ever felt pressured, I agreed to our way of doing things before we started and it’s how i wanted to do things. We do what we want to do the way we want to do it. It turns me on to be his slave, if he hadn’t wanted a slave like me and I hadn’t wanted an owner like him we would never have got together in the first place. It is the style of relationship we both want and enjoy" Yeah I get that, I just don't get the " I didn't want to do it but had to because he told me to" type of thing. Either we have limits and can say we don't want to do something without being told we have to or we don't have any limits | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? Some don’t take as serious limits and safewords. Two Doms in particular I’ve experienced didn’t stop when asked, even continuing after safe words were used. Whether this is because of a lack of experience in D/s, an arrogance that they know best or serving their own needs first, it’s certainly not right and lost them my respect and trust, the very thing both needed. Those in longer term D/s relationships, have you ever experienced this? " If a safeword is used which is usually only a choice made by experienced couples that know each other very very well. Then I would and we that a safeword is sacred and if a 'Dom' or 'Domme' chose to ignore that then that's the time to scream blue bloody murder and walk away and cut all contact. Put simply they're not a Dom/me worthy of anyone's respect let alone a submissive's submission. | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control" Yes the Dom is in control in our relationship but only because I gave him the control in the first place. I want him to be in control. Cos that’s how I like it | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control" I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control. A sub also has the choice of walking away. However like any other relationship that is developed over time with trust, honesty and communication. | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. ." Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. l Then that isn't the sub being in control but I wasn’t one who said the sub was in control But then if he asked me to do something I really didn’t want to do I could always leave so I still have that level of control To be fair, your post said you have done things you didn't want to do. If you had said no to that pressurising what would have happened? I can’t say I’ve ever felt pressured, I agreed to our way of doing things before we started and it’s how i wanted to do things. We do what we want to do the way we want to do it. It turns me on to be his slave, if he hadn’t wanted a slave like me and I hadn’t wanted an owner like him we would never have got together in the first place. It is the style of relationship we both want and enjoy Yeah I get that, I just don't get the " I didn't want to do it but had to because he told me to" type of thing. Either we have limits and can say we don't want to do something without being told we have to or we don't have any limits" Some people get turned on by being made to do things they maybe don’t want to do if it doesn’t cross their hard limits | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. . Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway" Being made to do things might be in their agreed boundaries | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. . Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway" The sub topping the Dom you mean? Well if it keeps them happy so be it but they're only fooling each other ultimately. | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? Some don’t take as serious limits and safewords. Two Doms in particular I’ve experienced didn’t stop when asked, even continuing after safe words were used. Whether this is because of a lack of experience in D/s, an arrogance that they know best or serving their own needs first, it’s certainly not right and lost them my respect and trust, the very thing both needed. Those in longer term D/s relationships, have you ever experienced this? " Two of 'em???  Too true, it bloody well isn't right! Those individuals are dangerous, abusive, and their behaviour is a disgrace and utterly reprehensible. Did you meet them on here Jingle, or elsewhere?
In my relationships, I've always been at pains (pun intended ha ha) to endevour to take my submissive to where she needs to be; and afterwards, hold her in my arms, where she feels safe and secure, and have a cuddle and an open conversation with her, where we both talk openly about our feelings, and what we liked - and possibly disliked about our time together. | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. . Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway The sub topping the Dom you mean? Well if it keeps them happy so be it but they're only fooling each other ultimately." Ah sorry I don't know enough about the descriptions to know what you mean? Topping the dom? | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. . Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway The sub topping the Dom you mean? Well if it keeps them happy so be it but they're only fooling each other ultimately. Ah sorry I don't know enough about the descriptions to know what you mean? Topping the dom?" When a submissive is asked to do something and does what they choose rather than what they have been asked to do. Or when a submissive directs but in a conspicuous way rather than asking in due time for boundaries to be considered. | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. . Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway The sub topping the Dom you mean? Well if it keeps them happy so be it but they're only fooling each other ultimately. Ah sorry I don't know enough about the descriptions to know what you mean? Topping the dom? When a submissive is asked to do something and does what they choose rather than what they have been asked to do. Or when a submissive directs but in a conspicuous way rather than asking in due time for boundaries to be considered." Ah no sorry, I meant more if a sub says no to something but the Dom says she has to do it anyway | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Will do. I think there might have been subtitles. I know that doesn't narrow it down much "May not be the ones, but Preaching to the converted and Venus in fur are two interesting ones. | |||
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" Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. To be honest whenever this subject comes up I have only ever seen comments of the sub is the one in control. This is the first thread I have seen where the Dom admits to being in control I don't follow that theory either to be honest. It is blurred and oft spoken but it doesn't really make sense. What's the point of offering submission to then be in control yourself. I think what people mean is that submissive and Dominant interact within agreed boundaries and that is the sub utilising control.. . Or not in the case of Doms who say the sub is still going to do it anyway The sub topping the Dom you mean? Well if it keeps them happy so be it but they're only fooling each other ultimately. Ah sorry I don't know enough about the descriptions to know what you mean? Topping the dom? When a submissive is asked to do something and does what they choose rather than what they have been asked to do. Or when a submissive directs but in a conspicuous way rather than asking in due time for boundaries to be considered. Ah no sorry, I meant more if a sub says no to something but the Dom says she has to do it anyway" Ah ok. That would depend entirely on what it is that's being asked and the agreed dynamic those people have. If it's a hard limit then the Dom/me shouldn't be asking. If it's a soft limit the Dom/me should have known their submissive better than to push them to the point of refusal. If it's not been discussed as a limit then the Dom/me has read it wrong and it clearly needs to be discussed. If it is something menial then the sub is pushing for a punishment. Either way my personal opinion is that should a sub be forced without consent (which is a thing) then the Dom/me is in the wrong and the Dom/me needs to take a long hard look at themselves rather than their sub. Potentially one could also open themselves up to accusations of abuse under those circumstances to depending on what exactly we are talking about. A sub accepts that if it is not on their hard limit list or to an extent their soft limit list then a refusal is a big thing. But that's not to say limits can't be changed or discussed. A Dom/me should know their sub well enough not to push them to a point of outright refusal. | |||
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"Thanks Phoenixcouplexx very well explained ( I didn't quote as the post is getting huge )" | |||
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" Some don’t take as serious limits and safewords. Two Doms in particular I’ve experienced didn’t stop when asked, even continuing after safe words were used. Whether this is because of a lack of experience in D/s, an arrogance that they know best or serving their own needs first, it’s certainly not right and lost them my respect and trust, the very thing both needed. Those in longer term D/s relationships, have you ever experienced this? Two of 'em??? Too true, it bloody well isn't right! Those individuals are dangerous, abusive, and their behaviour is a disgrace and utterly reprehensible. Did you meet them on here Jingle, or elsewhere?
"One was here, quite recently in fact, but where I met them is irrelevant to the discussion. It’s more about having an open discussion here to educate both sides that D/s is safe sane and consensual and where it’s not... | |||
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"I have often been mistaken as a Dom, I do have a bit of a commanding presence. But I am an equalist, which unfortunately many don't acknowledge in todays clubs. I actually hate it when men or women ask me if they can have sex with my wife, especially infuriating when she is stood next to me! But I do appreciate the bond for those into BDSM, as long as they leave me out of their games. Owned appears to me to be a new name for collared, just comes across to us outsiders as a bit more extreme as a term, which brings me to my actual question... Is the term owned actually coined to gain extra distance from vanilla, but basically the same as collared. Or is it something different? " Answering just for myself here. Yes good point, owned and collared sub here. As in I’m not just a play sub. It’s symbolic to us as a couple. | |||
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" Some don’t take as serious limits and safewords. Two Doms in particular I’ve experienced didn’t stop when asked, even continuing after safe words were used. Whether this is because of a lack of experience in D/s, an arrogance that they know best or serving their own needs first, it’s certainly not right and lost them my respect and trust, the very thing both needed. Those in longer term D/s relationships, have you ever experienced this? Two of 'em??? Too true, it bloody well isn't right! Those individuals are dangerous, abusive, and their behaviour is a disgrace and utterly reprehensible. Did you meet them on here Jingle, or elsewhere?
One was here, quite recently in fact, but where I met them is irrelevant to the discussion. It’s more about having an open discussion here to educate both sides that D/s is safe sane and consensual and where it’s not..."I take your point Jingle. My reason for asking was born out of merely wanting to see them banned from the site (I believe there is an "abusive" tick box in the report facility) purely to protect other submissives from undergoing similar treatment that they meted out to yourself. | |||
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For anyone doubting the dynamic when it's practiced between two consenting, and more importantly, informed adults - I've had the privilege of meeting both halves of the OP and based on the time I spent with them, they're as loving and equal as any other couple, possibly more so. The level of trust and respect that flows both ways between them is evident for all to see.
My own personal take on the "who's in control in D/s relationships" question, is ultimately BOTH the Dom and the sub are - I see them as two sides of the same coin, with the sub holding control via the gift of their submission, while the Dom holds control by accepting it.
Know that's a simplistic view, but is a fair summary of my perspective. | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol Would you do something you didn't want to, if he wanted it? Yes but I trust him not to ask me to do something I really really don’t want to do. He knows my hard limits and doesn’t over step them. If I say I don’t want to do something and explain why he will listen and sometimes I won’t have to do it, other times I still have to. Many times he’s told me to do something that I actually want to do but am too scared to do it and after it’s done and it was so much fun I’m like all thank you for making me do that I loved it can we do it again lol" Thanks, cool thread. And to blackdomsub-something or other | |||
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"What a great and positive thread OP (so much better than that other thread today) and if only one person walks away from it better informed it will have been worth it
For anyone doubting the dynamic when it's practiced between two consenting, and more importantly, informed adults - I've had the privilege of meeting both halves of the OP and based on the time I spent with them, they're as loving and equal as any other couple, possibly more so. The level of trust and respect that flows both ways between them is evident for all to see.
My own personal take on the "who's in control in D/s relationships" question, is ultimately BOTH the Dom and the sub are - I see them as two sides of the same coin, with the sub holding control via the gift of their submission, while the Dom holds control by accepting it.
Know that's a simplistic view, but is a fair summary of my perspective."Yin and Yang. | |||
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"What a great and positive thread OP (so much better than that other thread today) and if only one person walks away from it better informed it will have been worth it
For anyone doubting the dynamic when it's practiced between two consenting, and more importantly, informed adults - I've had the privilege of meeting both halves of the OP and based on the time I spent with them, they're as loving and equal as any other couple, possibly more so. The level of trust and respect that flows both ways between them is evident for all to see.
My own personal take on the "who's in control in D/s relationships" question, is ultimately BOTH the Dom and the sub are - I see them as two sides of the same coin, with the sub holding control via the gift of their submission, while the Dom holds control by accepting it.
Know that's a simplistic view, but is a fair summary of my perspective." | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. Totally agree, and I’m in if people want to ask questions, whether on this thread or privately just ask away" We are very happy to answer any questions | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. " As a very happy owned sub i can say i totally agree with you!! | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. As a very happy owned sub i can say i totally agree with you!!" When you say owned can you elaborate | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. As a very happy owned sub i can say i totally agree with you!! When you say owned can you elaborate " Its easy ... i am owned by Will, i am his sub, we have discussed our boundaries and we both know that our boundaries will not be crossed. We take great pleasure in our dynamic! | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. As a very happy owned sub i can say i totally agree with you!! When you say owned can you elaborate Its easy ... i am owned by Will, i am his sub, we have discussed our boundaries and we both know that our boundaries will not be crossed. We take great pleasure in our dynamic! "None the wiser to be honest! | |||
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"Too many people believe a sub is someone that's happy to take a firm hand. There are so many so called doms out there that use the label to order someone about for their personal gratification. The trust and bond between a sub and master is something else. A lot of the time theres very little sex bur its the build up and teasing and testing that adds to the enjoyment for both parties." Too many people like to spout nonesense, speaking for others!! | |||
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"Too many people believe a sub is someone that's happy to take a firm hand. There are so many so called doms out there that use the label to order someone about for their personal gratification. The trust and bond between a sub and master is something else. A lot of the time theres very little sex bur its the build up and teasing and testing that adds to the enjoyment for both parties. Too many people like to spout nonesense, speaking for others!!" I can only speak for myself as my knowledge is limited on the subject and I know that. | |||
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"Too many people believe a sub is someone that's happy to take a firm hand. There are so many so called doms out there that use the label to order someone about for their personal gratification. The trust and bond between a sub and master is something else. A lot of the time theres very little sex bur its the build up and teasing and testing that adds to the enjoyment for both parties. Too many people like to spout nonesense, speaking for others!! I can only speak for myself as my knowledge is limited on the subject and I know that." Exactly! | |||
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"Too many people believe a sub is someone that's happy to take a firm hand. There are so many so called doms out there that use the label to order someone about for their personal gratification. The trust and bond between a sub and master is something else. A lot of the time theres very little sex bur its the build up and teasing and testing that adds to the enjoyment for both parties." This is exactly right!!! We love the build up the teasing and testing, my Dom sets me daily tasks when we are apart which we both love! It all comes down to trust and respect for each other!! | |||
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"A lot of people have posted some very negative and insulting things about being owned recently. There seems to be a big misunderstanding of what it means. So here’s a chance to ask me or any other sub / owned person that may wish to join in, a question relating to the lifestyle and what it means to us. here is my question is have talked n discussed in sub/dom couples or oowened subs my understanding is the sub has no right to say no to almost anything she has to obey his commands right would the sub eat shit or anything else something she doesn't like Cose he asked her too?justcurious what's the over the limit Limits are discussed and agreed. I think lots of people would say that the sub is the one in control in a lot of cases. These things are consensual. If they're not it isn't a d/s relationship, it's an abusive one. the sub is the one in control really? There's a really clever and interesting film that I can't for the life of me recall the title of. Basically it's the story of a sub/dom relationship between two women. It starts by showing various situations in which it appears that the dom is in control of things, it then shows the same situations from a different perspective which reveal that the sub is driving things. An interesting and thought provoking film. If you happen to remember i'd be interested to see that
Me too
I think they are talking about The Duke of Burgundy
Is it any good ?
The Duke of Burgundy is the one!
We enjoyed it, it was thought provoking. "I just found its available on amazon prime for those who have it | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? " Some people don't. We just keep it to the bedroom so the transition is easy. | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. " | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? Some people don't. We just keep it to the bedroom so the transition is easy." Pretty much the same for us too
Then again with a teen in the house and us only being together 14 months it’s been more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first. | |||
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"Too many people believe a sub is someone that's happy to take a firm hand. There are so many so called doms out there that use the label to order someone about for their personal gratification. The trust and bond between a sub and master is something else. A lot of the time theres very little sex bur its the build up and teasing and testing that adds to the enjoyment for both parties." Oh indeed x I am owned mentally not physically...my Dom is very gentle and rarely spanks or physically “proves” himself.....we have a long distance relationship, and we try and meet up once a week.....it is the culmination of a whole weeks build up....and once I am in his presence I feel powerless to do anything other that comply with his requests x....I leave feeling an overwhelming calmness and satiety....and this can stay with me for days x | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? Some people don't. We just keep it to the bedroom so the transition is easy. Pretty much the same for us too
Then again with a teen in the house and us only being together 14 months it’s been more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first. "We've been together 37 years and still think it's more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? Some people don't. We just keep it to the bedroom so the transition is easy. Pretty much the same for us too
Then again with a teen in the house and us only being together 14 months it’s been more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first.
We've been together 37 years and still think it's more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first "Yes I suppose I’d take the same view too. Though I can see without kids around it could be extended outside the bedroom a little | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? Some people don't. We just keep it to the bedroom so the transition is easy. Pretty much the same for us too
Then again with a teen in the house and us only being together 14 months it’s been more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first.
We've been together 37 years and still think it's more important to concentrate on our vanilla relationship first
Yes I suppose I’d take the same view too. Though I can see without kids around it could be extended outside the bedroom a little "Oh yes it can . | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? " No transition I am always his slave | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? No transition I am always his slave" Perhaps that word is again very poignant. Can you explain why you call yourself a slave and not a sub. Is there a difference or is it just a different name ? | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? No transition I am always his slave Perhaps that word is again very poignant. Can you explain why you call yourself a slave and not a sub. Is there a difference or is it just a different name ?" Mostly it’s just a name, but we like the idea that he completely owns me, that I’m his owned property. | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? No transition I am always his slave Perhaps that word is again very poignant. Can you explain why you call yourself a slave and not a sub. Is there a difference or is it just a different name ? Mostly it’s just a name, but we like the idea that he completely owns me, that I’m his owned property." Cool thank you for explaining
Had to ask as a guy I used to converse with had a sub and a slave. I guess they all mean different things to different people. | |||
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"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? No transition I am always his slave Perhaps that word is again very poignant. Can you explain why you call yourself a slave and not a sub. Is there a difference or is it just a different name ? Mostly it’s just a name, but we like the idea that he completely owns me, that I’m his owned property. Cool thank you for explaining
Had to ask as a guy I used to converse with had a sub and a slave. I guess they all mean different things to different people. "Yep there’s no one true way, it’s the way that fits each individual | |||
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"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off." Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally. | |||
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"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally. "Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol | |||
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"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol"Oh  is it because Sir would want to doodle you then   | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then "Blimey!! He can draw too? Is there no end to his talents?! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then "In a nutshell . Your welcome to abuse my butt as you see fit. Sir would have to keep his manhood away from it haha.
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then
Blimey!! He can draw too? Is there no end to his talents?!"Lmao. If only | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then
In a nutshell . Your welcome to abuse my butt as you see fit. Sir would have to keep his manhood away from it haha.
"Well once I have mastered the plastic sword I’ll be back in touch
Gemini stop being cheeky. Of course there’s an end to his talents, he’s a terrible singer. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then
In a nutshell . Your welcome to abuse my butt as you see fit. Sir would have to keep his manhood away from it haha.
Well once I have mastered the plastic sword I’ll be back in touch
Gemini stop being cheeky. Of course there’s an end to his talents, he’s a terrible singer. "Oooo plastic sword. If that means what I think it means. I am very game lol | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? No transition I am always his slave Perhaps that word is again very poignant. Can you explain why you call yourself a slave and not a sub. Is there a difference or is it just a different name ? Mostly it’s just a name, but we like the idea that he completely owns me, that I’m his owned property." Does this include being told what to wear etc every day? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then
In a nutshell . Your welcome to abuse my butt as you see fit. Sir would have to keep his manhood away from it haha.
Well once I have mastered the plastic sword I’ll be back in touch
Gemini stop being cheeky. Of course there’s an end to his talents, he’s a terrible singer. "Well who'd want to be a sewing machine anyway?! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"The word owned will never be acceptable to a lot of people. It will put many off. Yes I accept that. But maybe reading some of the above will give you the idea not to take it too literally.
Your preaching to the perverted. (pun intented ).
I don't meet a couple of your requirements. Beung an owned sub is not what's stopping me messaging you trust me lol
Oh is it because Sir would want to doodle you then
In a nutshell . Your welcome to abuse my butt as you see fit. Sir would have to keep his manhood away from it haha.
Well once I have mastered the plastic sword I’ll be back in touch
Gemini stop being cheeky. Of course there’s an end to his talents, he’s a terrible singer.
Well who'd want to be a sewing machine anyway?! "Okay everyone I’ve found him. The guy that writes the jokes for Christmas crackers. I’ll hold him, you ......... | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"For those of you married or living together couples, how do you go from Dom/sub roles to everyday husband /wife roles.....is there a transition? No transition I am always his slave Perhaps that word is again very poignant. Can you explain why you call yourself a slave and not a sub. Is there a difference or is it just a different name ? Mostly it’s just a name, but we like the idea that he completely owns me, that I’m his owned property. Does this include being told what to wear etc every day? " Not every day, he expects me to be able to pick suitable clothes for work or for walking the dogs etc, but if he thinks I’ve chosen unwisely he will say | |||
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"Being a sub, to me, is handing control over to one person, the ability for them to have complete power over you, but trusting them enough to know they would never abuse that power. It's a relationship built on respect, trust & affection. It's an amazing feeling, but can only happen when you have total faith in that person. " Well said | |||
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"I have an owned sub and she approached me via another site. She's a t-girl and chose me to be her mistress. We have a great friendship away from this and our relationship is amazing. I don't make her do anything I wouldn't do myself and I respect her. I've been a submissive in the past with a trusted man but it wasn't for me so decided to become the dominate one. " Thank you for adding this. I fear your inbox has probably exploded now | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol" so does that not make you the dom ? | |||
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"Is there something you want your dom to do / arrange for you that your dom hasn't figured out yet? If so, do you drop hints or not? I just ask for what I want and then my Dom makes it happen at a suitable point of his choosing. Usually as soon as he can arrange it cos he loves to see me happy lol so does that not make you the dom ?" Nope it makes me a grown woman who is capable of expressing desires, it’s up to my Dom if and when I get to do said thing, and how it’s done | |||
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"Sorry for the long post! There seems to be a lot of different interpretations to Dominant/Submissive/Master/Slave, which is as it should be; it all depends on the individuals involved and what works for them. How I like my coffee is different to how others like their coffee - heaven forbid some may not like coffee at all!! I would like to try and explain the relationship between a Dominant and a submissive as I see it like this: It is like owning a dog, you don’t actually “own” the dog. You may have bought the dog, you may feed the dog, you may train the dog and the dog my obey you ... but the dog has freewill and it does all these things because it chooses too, regardless of the fact you “own” it. In reality you have taken guardianship of the dog, you care for the dog, you love the dog, you put the dogs welfare first, you make sure that the dog is happy, comfortable, well feed, well exercised and in the best health possible. By doing all of these things for the dog it makes the dog love, respect and want to please you - the dog sees you as the Alpha, the provider, the leader. Now the dog may misbehave and you reprimand it accordingly, if the dog does something it knows is wrong you may punish it but we all know positive reinforcement works better than shouting and beating it. Is there such a thing as a bad dog? Personally I don’t think so, there are mistreated dogs, misunderstood dogs, untrained dogs and dogs that simple have not been given enough love and socialisation. Yes, there are bad dog owners! People who should never be allowed a dog and who give dog owners and their dogs a bad name - luckily they are the minority. The majority of dog owners have dogs because they simply love them. There are Cat people and there are people that have never had a dog .... but until you have “owned” a dog you will never really understand the bond between and owner and their dog. " While I like the analogy, really like it tbh, this thread is ‘ask an owned submissive’. Its an important space and feel it should be respected. It’s not a place where us Dom/mes give our views, there’s plenty of threads for that or maybe start your own ‘ask a Dom’ thread. Do you have any questions for the owned submissives here? | |||
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