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Being late for a meet
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By *urseit OP Couple
over a year ago
westerham |
Hey peeps how long would you wait for a guy to turn up for a meet ? We arranged a meet for 15,30 and he messaged to say was running a bit late but no more that 16.00. So he did say and he even said probably be before 16.00. He messaged after 1600 to say the train was delayed. When he called he said he was in the bar at the hotel but in fact still walking to the hotel. At 16.50 he then said he had arrived. We then said forget it as was far too late. Is this being reasonable ? Nearly 2 hours late. Single guys find it hard to get meets And if you arrangevone should she early rather than late. Any thoughts ? |
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If you make an appointment time you stick to it. The world can go pear shaped so you apologize for the delay, explain what is going wrong and ask if you are prepared to wait. They should not be surprised if you say "another time perhaps" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would depend on where we were waiting, in a pub or cafe we'd wait as long as that drink took, so maybe 30 mins. If it was a hotel meet and we were staying there anyway we'd probably consider the excuse (and check the train app) and decide.
It would also depend on the time of day, if it was a late meet anyway we wouldn't put up with too long a wait. |
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If someone was travelling by train then they can probably communicate more readily than if in a car. Depending on the easily available transport information, I'd be willing to depart and return when the train situation is resolved. I'd probably not want to be around in cold weather for much more than an hour though - and it would depend on timely information and verified train company info.
If a guy could not be that bothered, then a quarter of an hour or so, mainly to know I've given someone a chance and I enjoy my time and comfort , whilst waiting.
People who made zero effort to communicate or make good progress would get a similar chance afterwards.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey peeps how long would you wait for a guy to turn up for a meet ? We arranged a meet for 15,30 and he messaged to say was running a bit late but no more that 16.00. So he did say and he even said probably be before 16.00. He messaged after 1600 to say the train was delayed. When he called he said he was in the bar at the hotel but in fact still walking to the hotel. At 16.50 he then said he had arrived. We then said forget it as was far too late. Is this being reasonable ? Nearly 2 hours late. Single guys find it hard to get meets And if you arrangevone should she early rather than late. Any thoughts ?"
On time is late for me, if I've arranged something then I will be early, and as hard as it is to get meets you would think guys would be on time or early.
Forward thinking is a skill some don't seem to have.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I'm travelling by train I never estimate my eta correctly. If I'm using trains, as opposed to the tube, I can be way off, especially if coming via Waterloo or other large stations, because I have to find the right train, once I get there. Were you on a time constriction? |
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By *urseit OP Couple
over a year ago
westerham |
Thanks well he traveled from the same station as us to Victoria and all trains were running ok. Yes agree can run late but you make provisions to include that just in case. 1 hour and 20 mins late is not good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey peeps how long would you wait for a guy to turn up for a meet ? We arranged a meet for 15,30 and he messaged to say was running a bit late but no more that 16.00. So he did say and he even said probably be before 16.00. He messaged after 1600 to say the train was delayed. When he called he said he was in the bar at the hotel but in fact still walking to the hotel. At 16.50 he then said he had arrived. We then said forget it as was far too late. Is this being reasonable ? Nearly 2 hours late. Single guys find it hard to get meets And if you arrangevone should she early rather than late. Any thoughts ?
On time is late for me, if I've arranged something then I will be early, and as hard as it is to get meets you would think guys would be on time or early.
Forward thinking is a skill some don't seem to have. "
I spend ages working out my route, and still never arrive on time. I use tfl journey planner too.
At a STP I thought I was on the district line but was on the Hammersmith and city line, so had to change lines. I got off to find the circle line not running, so had to double back to get the district line. I was an hour later than I wanted to be. |
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"Hey peeps how long would you wait for a guy to turn up for a meet ? We arranged a meet for 15,30 and he messaged to say was running a bit late but no more that 16.00. So he did say and he even said probably be before 16.00. He messaged after 1600 to say the train was delayed. When he called he said he was in the bar at the hotel but in fact still walking to the hotel. At 16.50 he then said he had arrived. We then said forget it as was far too late. Is this being reasonable ? Nearly 2 hours late. Single guys find it hard to get meets And if you arrangevone should she early rather than late. Any thoughts ?"
. The guy in question must want his head checking.............your pics are "fab" plus reading your veri's. fuck I'd of jumped off the train and run
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we thought peoples excuses were genuine, then we would still wait. Unexpected events can occur which can make people late.
Some people are just so cynical in life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I spend ages working out my route, and still never arrive on time. I use tfl journey planner too.
At a STP I thought I was on the district line but was on the Hammersmith and city line, so had to change lines. I got off to find the circle line not running, so had to double back to get the district line. I was an hour later than I wanted to be. "
I guess more populated areas like that are more difficult to navigate than out here between the villages! All I have to contend with is if a tractor gets in front of me or sheep on the road!! 
I use a route planner and leave earlier than it suggests, if I get within striking distance too early I can always sit and wait till it's closer but I'd always prepare to be early. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we thought peoples excuses were genuine, then we would still wait. Unexpected events can occur which can make people late.
Some people are just so cynical in life."
It's easy for a couple just to sit in a bar etc, you look a bit of a lemon on your own!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we thought peoples excuses were genuine, then we would still wait. Unexpected events can occur which can make people late.
Some people are just so cynical in life.
It's easy for a couple just to sit in a bar etc, you look a bit of a lemon on your own! "
We don't see why this day and ages. I've done it and it doesn't bother me. It's in your mind. Do you look at lone women sitting there and think to yourself 'she looks a lemon'?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we thought peoples excuses were genuine, then we would still wait. Unexpected events can occur which can make people late.
Some people are just so cynical in life.
It's easy for a couple just to sit in a bar etc, you look a bit of a lemon on your own!
We don't see why this day and ages. I've done it and it doesn't bother me. It's in your mind. Do you look at lone women sitting there and think to yourself 'she looks a lemon'? "
Ok I'll rephrase I feel like a lemon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we thought peoples excuses were genuine, then we would still wait. Unexpected events can occur which can make people late.
Some people are just so cynical in life.
It's easy for a couple just to sit in a bar etc, you look a bit of a lemon on your own!
We don't see why this day and ages. I've done it and it doesn't bother me. It's in your mind. Do you look at lone women sitting there and think to yourself 'she looks a lemon'?
Ok I'll rephrase I feel like a lemon."
Well there's only you that can change that  |
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Occasionally things do crop up and you end up being late..
No amount of forward planning can take into account accidents en route, cancelled trains, etc..
Obviously you should apply a reasonable amount of contingency for any journey, but reasonable won't cover all circumstance.
For me, I'll ensure I'm going to meet somewhere in don't mind being and if the situation changes or a no show, I will have planned alternative things to do or places to see so not to make it a total waste..
Forward planning of both sides, that's the way forward.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we thought peoples excuses were genuine, then we would still wait. Unexpected events can occur which can make people late.
Some people are just so cynical in life.
It's easy for a couple just to sit in a bar etc, you look a bit of a lemon on your own!
We don't see why this day and ages. I've done it and it doesn't bother me. It's in your mind. Do you look at lone women sitting there and think to yourself 'she looks a lemon'?
Ok I'll rephrase I feel like a lemon.
Well there's only you that can change that "
I'm nearly 40, I've tried. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think an hour and 20 mins and him communicating with you is bad. We arrange meets and give a time but it's not set in stone. People run late. People aren't laid back. I'm just glad we are x |
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By *ky19Man
over a year ago
Plymouth OYO Hotel |
Oh... I was 35mins late for my last date. Maybe this is why I didn't get another.
I was in constant communication at least? Explaining that as I changed into my nice t shirt it ripped, then the button came off my trousers. So I used a belt but as I tightened it, it snapped. Not making this up. Actually the button was already broken. So had to walk holding trousers up. Then I realised I'd left my wallet in my car and had to run back.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't hang around for long. I'd feel a right tool sitting/standing there, waiting by myself. 15 mins max. I don't like being late, so expect the same respect from their end. If it was out of their hands, I would consider rescheduling at a later date. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
As someone that travels by trains a lot they are late sometimes and nothing you can do.
Personally If I say agree to meet someone at say 3 then I will be around at 2.30 or 2.45.
He did let you know he was running late |
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If he's late and not updating his whereabouts - 15mins tops.
But I have two occasions where they were late but keep me constantly updated.
- one even send his google map location. So I waited - and wasn't disappointed when they arrived. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was due to the train and he was letting you know, I think he is doing the right thing. I think it's a bit tight of you to then tell him to forget it. Maybe next time meet a man who can drive to the location, then he can get stuck in a traffic jam instead.
Like a previous poster said, Shit happens. X |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It depends to be honest - if the person had contacted me to say they were running late and continued to update me (as the guy did in the OPs case) then I'd wait and probably wouldn't even check out their story unless it sounded suspect. If they didn't bother contacting me then I'd probably wait 30 mins or so.
That said I tend to spend a fair amount of time getting to know people I meet before meeting them so usually have a level of confidence that they'll show up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey peeps how long would you wait for a guy to turn up for a meet ? We arranged a meet for 15,30 and he messaged to say was running a bit late but no more that 16.00. So he did say and he even said probably be before 16.00. He messaged after 1600 to say the train was delayed. When he called he said he was in the bar at the hotel but in fact still walking to the hotel. At 16.50 he then said he had arrived. We then said forget it as was far too late. Is this being reasonable ? Nearly 2 hours late. Single guys find it hard to get meets And if you arrangevone should she early rather than late. Any thoughts ?"
I don't tolerate tardyness but having said that I waited 2.5 hours once and have had many let downs ,its maybe why I don't tolerate it now but if I like the place I'm in or I'm staying im there anyway so hey ho I can be flexible you know  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a tricky one as he was in communication with you, he hadn't just not turned up which would be completely unacceptable. It is poor planning on his part and being that late is very bad etiquette, however things can happen out of people's control sometimes.
Personally if a lady did that I wouldn't be happy but as long as she was communicating with me to reassure me she was en route I would probably give her the benefit of the doubt, although when she arrived I would expect a damn good bj by way of apology
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"
At a STP I thought I was on the district line but was on the Hammersmith and city line, so had to change lines. I got off to find the circle line not running, so had to double back to get the district line. I was an hour later than I wanted to be. "
We had that too.. But what fun we had in the end!
Friday, my 2½hr drive took almost 5hrs. I bloody hate the M25
Luckily going to a club & meeting a good friend, so no issue.
I hate being late, but occasionally things happen.
If I was waiting for someone, I think it would depend where I was, what was planned how long I'd hang around.
A first, social meet, I'd be in a public place, so I'd have a drink & read Kindle (or The Forums) 30mins tops though.
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