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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello, I find this subject a bit sensative so please bare with me. I had meet recently, won't mention names. She's a lovely woman and very sexy but I had a slight problem with the "chap". I kept going soft and I think it might have been nerves but it's happened to me before. Just wondering if it's normal or should I be worried?.
It all sounds silly but I'm genuinely worried  |
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Probably nerves and then catch 22 if you worry about it happening it's more likely to happen again.
There's still lots of fun you can have without a hard on so take the pressure off yourself by investing in a few toys and make your play less cock centred. Chances are with the pressure off you'll be ok again.
A check up might be a good idea to put your mind at rest that way and there's always the trusty blue pills too .
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you so much, I've got an appointment next week with gp. Yer I think that might be th bet course of action is using toys ect. Never used any before aha I know nerves was a big part of it x |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Thank you so much, I've got an appointment next week with gp. Yer I think that might be th bet course of action is using toys ect. Never used any before aha I know nerves was a big part of it x"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thete must be a certain amount of pressure for single guys when they meet a couple.
Did you have a social first?"
Was with a single lady, we had been speaking for a while and had a social meet previous x |
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"Hello, I find this subject a bit sensative so please bare with me. I had meet recently, won't mention names. She's a lovely woman and very sexy but I had a slight problem with the "chap". I kept going soft and I think it might have been nerves but it's happened to me before. Just wondering if it's normal or should I be worried?.
It all sounds silly but I'm genuinely worried "
It’s utterly normal, especially if you get erections at any other time.
It’s abnormal to expect your penis to work every single time in every single situation. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hello, I find this subject a bit sensative so please bare with me. I had meet recently, won't mention names. She's a lovely woman and very sexy but I had a slight problem with the "chap". I kept going soft and I think it might have been nerves but it's happened to me before. Just wondering if it's normal or should I be worried?.
It all sounds silly but I'm genuinely worried
It’s utterly normal, especially if you get erections at any other time.
It’s abnormal to expect your penis to work every single time in every single situation."
Very true, just worries me as it wasn't the first time it's happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best cure would be to have a social before and a couple of drinks then let it naturally progress to playing. After a couple of hours of tipsy flirting you will be more than ready |
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By *ancduoCouple
over a year ago
Manchester |
If it was a first meet that’s pretty normal. I’ve had a few first meets like that. Second time they were raring to go. Just nerves and as it’s a swingers site the pressure is in to perform.
Mrs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was nerves OP and perfectly normal. Try not to worry. Had it a few times with meets, I just make them feel relaxed. Just don't drink much before the meet has that helps too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well mine dosent go soft or not stand ro attention ...
Are you a smoker and drinker ? That will cause it ..
Try cock exercises. And no I'm not joking .Google it .
If your fit and healthy no reason why you shouldn't have a raging bone. |
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"Well mine dosent go soft or not stand ro attention ...
Are you a smoker and drinker ? That will cause it ..
Try cock exercises. And no I'm not joking .Google it .
If your fit and healthy no reason why you shouldn't have a raging bone. "
There are plenty of reasons why a fit and healthy man won’t always get an erection every time he wants one, just because it’s not happened to you, think yourself lucky. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah it's fine man, it's happened to me a couple of times over the years it can be a pressure being the guy and beibg expected to perform.
Depends on the person who it happens with too..one lass invited me back and was lovely, we went on to have loads of good sex and the other decided to slag me off about the forums, via pm to other members (one of whom is now my gf  ) and in private kik groups (of which I was sent screenshots) and that knocked me for a day or so.
Easier said than done but try not to let it play on your mind..it's almost certainly psychological. As someone said though, if it continues then try your g.p.
Best of luck fella |
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"Hello, I find this subject a bit sensative so please bare with me. I had meet recently, won't mention names. She's a lovely woman and very sexy but I had a slight problem with the "chap". I kept going soft and I think it might have been nerves but it's happened to me before. Just wondering if it's normal or should I be worried?.
It all sounds silly but I'm genuinely worried "
You're a braver man than me for bringing it up, I have had the same thing happen to me, it was nerves pure and simple, I just didn't feel I could post or talk about it.
First time we met people I was so nervous that I was afraid I couldn't perform, this is never an issue when I am with Sandy but with someone new, and with pressure to perform it can get to you.
Even now if I go to a new party or club or meet new people I get stage fright. Just take it easy, relax, get to know people and remember you can have fun in other ways.
I sometimes use my tongue or fingers to play for a while before the main event, I find that pleasing a woman and hearing her respond to what I am doing helps me gain confidence and helps my "chap" to get ready for action.
I know that it's like a catch 22 but if you just relax you'll be fine, it's like globalisation - it's inevitable. |
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Must have taken courage to write about this so well done. It happens from time to time I think to most men. For me if my heart isn't in it or if I have a lot of things going on in other areas of my life then my libido wanes.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all so much, it's helping put my mind at ease a little, it took me ages to post this but I'm glad I did. I will take all advice on board and hopefully find ways of relaxing a bit more :D I think I'll still go see the go just to help clear that side of things up as its playing on my mind too. Again thank you all so mug for the help a support 
Your all fab |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Thank you all so much, it's helping put my mind at ease a little, it took me ages to post this but I'm glad I did. I will take all advice on board and hopefully find ways of relaxing a bit more :D I think I'll still go see the go just to help clear that side of things up as its playing on my mind too. Again thank you all so mug for the help a support
Your all fab "
You're welcome and good luck with the Gp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't stress about it, more than likely just psychological. It's easy to get in a viscous circle where you are expecting or worrying that it will happen which means it then will do. Try not to think about it, forget it happened and move on. Next time you're with her just try and stay in the moment and don't think too much, your bodies natural instincts will take care of things as long as you let it. |
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I used to have regular meets with someone who always struggled in between. tbh - I kind of loved it because he would then use everything else he had to give me a good time before the dick fucking continued. there are so many ways to have fun apart from dick in pussy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yeah it's fine man, it's happened to me a couple of times over the years it can be a pressure being the guy and beibg expected to perform.
Depends on the person who it happens with too..one lass invited me back and was lovely, we went on to have loads of good sex and the other decided to slag me off about the forums, via pm to other members (one of whom is now my gf ) and in private kik groups (of which I was sent screenshots) and that knocked me for a day or so.
Easier said than done but try not to let it play on your mind..it's almost certainly psychological. As someone said though, if it continues then try your g.p.
Best of luck fella "
Good advice.. I'm sure you'll be fine, just nerves! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had this a little yesterday during an otherwise fab meet with a couple, the guy was 'gifted' so dont know if that put pressure on me, but i didnt worry about it still had fun, and recovered for a satisfying conclusion. It will happen to all if us over time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's nothing to worry about this is normal due to nerves watched a documentary on swinging and that was 1 of the things that got brought up all males will have this happen. it happened to me when I first started swinging and I was like what the he'll is going on I was turned on like mad but it wasn't working lol then when I relaxed it came to say hello again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nothing to worry about man. Had a similar situation at a party, i was far too anxious and couldn't stay up because of it. But that didn't paralyze my tongue or hands! This shit happens to the best of us. You just have to find a way round it should you be unlucky enough for it to happen.
I agree, must hace took a lot to write this post but im glad you did! Not only has it helped you, but itll help others who feel like this!   |
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High fives for being brave enough to post this OP.
I'm sure there's lots of men this happens to, but most would deny it.
Think you've been given some great advice already, and I hope your issues resolved itself x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's helped knowing that others have been through a similar situation. Always amazes me how nice everyone is on here :3 thank you so much, it's helped put my mind at ease |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your mental state can effect you in so many ways without being aware it’s the cause! As already stated it’s probably because the meet is via a swinger site and you add unfair pressure to perform! Years ago I had a problem where I couldn’t cum.. it was actually a real problem although I could when I masturbated.. a trip to my GP and she told me it was likely because I was single and there were never any emotional connections with the partners! I thought she was mad but she was bang on! Once I started sleeping with the same women regularly the rains came and it was back to normal and has been ever since!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens to us all, problem is a mans state of "readiness" is on show, I'm sure there are many women who may not have been feeling it in the moment but a bit of lube and it's not obvious.
The more you think about it the more it could become an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happens to us all, problem is a mans state of "readiness" is on show, I'm sure there are many women who may not have been feeling it in the moment but a bit of lube and it's not obvious.
The more you think about it the more it could become an issue."
I was going to write a similar post!
Women can get it too, I know I have.
I'm all excited to meet, bit of chat to get in the mood before. Get excited getting dressed up but just before he arrives I've totally lost the moment, got a foof dryer than a nuns habit. Nerves have kicked in. Start wondering if he'll actually turn up, will I be good enough? Blah blah blah.
Obviously it's not obvious with a woman so we can hide it a bit.
Get the foreplay going and I'm all fired up and ready to go!! |
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I had a meet and the guy had the same problem.....he said it was because I was too hot and full on....lol...so trying to put the blame onto me?? In the end he came and I didn’t as he had to wank himself and I swallowed it....never did meet again |
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This is really common, so try not to worry! It's happened to me (Rob) plenty of times and that's been with steph who I've been with for years. Using other bits in the meantime can help. The more you think about it, the more of an issue it can become.
There is a massive pressure on guys to perform on demand. Single guys in particular. Fab has made it clear that they are disposable and entirely replaceable if they don't measure up so, mentally, you have one shot to get it right or you're history. In reality this isn't the case but the self-imposed performance pressure can be crippling!
What helped me was to enjoy some porn fairly regularly to gain confidence that I could get hard when needed. That just leaves the understanding that it's all down to the situation and not me. |
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