FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Owned - a turn off?

Owned - a turn off?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Quite often I’ll read a single female’s profile and she’ll mention the fact that she’s ‘owned’ and that her master will decide who she plays with. As soon as I read this I’m not interested, it’s a complete turn off for me. Are there any ladies who like this situation and why? Any males that ‘own’. To me, it sounds pathetic but each to their own I guess.

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By *SAchickWoman over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I've been contacted by "owned" men before as well. And some asking if I'd like to own them. Total turn off for me, but some will love it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Even though we play under a dom/sub, dynamic I would never claim to own Alice, we understand it works for some but its not a word or saying we would ever want to apply to ourselves. But each to their own.

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By *hoenixandflamesCouple over a year ago

Stockport

Heck no.

Hard limit.

Same as very odd age gaps (i.e. young woman, 50+ year old man).

Same kind of mental issues going on there.

IMHO.

Flames

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Quite often I’ll read a single female’s profile and she’ll mention the fact that she’s ‘owned’ and that her master will decide who she plays with. As soon as I read this I’m not interested, it’s a complete turn off for me. Are there any ladies who like this situation and why? Any males that ‘own’. To me, it sounds pathetic but each to their own I guess. "
me to I'm not a fan of labels and actually knew a woman who described herself as this it lasted a month at best

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

just move on to the next profile that might interest you

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By *wisted2000Woman over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

I’ve been ‘owned’ on a temporary basis but that was more a safety measure, for example while spending the night at a club or party, I do know some people into this long term and it works very well for them, each to their own

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope total turn off, I understand some people are into that, same as the whole sub/for thing but not for us...another we don't get is the 'daddy' thing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always suspicious of the ones that say you have to contact their master if you wish to play. Eh no thanks.

Am sure a few are genuine but that dynamic does nothing for me.

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By *heeky_subCouple over a year ago

northampton

I'm owned and proud

I get that it doesn't really suit everybody.

It suit our d/s relationship, every relationship is different.

Being owned in this relationship, it's what I need and desire. To be controlled, bit of spanking, then back to reality.

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By *andb69Couple over a year ago

leeds

A total turn off for me - but then the whole role play scenario does nothing for me at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Turn off I have blocked men who have said owned by blah blah blah .women who do it look silly when the man moves on and the women gets dumped .Hardly any man can keep dick in pants too be owned by one owner

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"A total turn off for me - but then the whole role play scenario does nothing for me at all."

It is not a role play....if you go on the other website which we are not allowed to name here but rhymes with pet and strife lol, then you will see there are many real owned relationships ....so your relationship works for you....let their relationships work for them without judging and belittling

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By *londieddWoman over a year ago

fife

"just move on to the next profile that might interest you

that's clearly what people do! I'm sure they don't need you butting in telling them what to do, people are entitled to discuss their likes and dislikes in the forums!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like the idea of owning a guy if I'm honest! I'd never be owned though, I'd be loyal and faithful to one guy cos that's in my nature anyway but I wouldn't be owned.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like the idea of owning a guy if I'm honest! I'd never be owned though, I'd be loyal and faithful to one guy cos that's in my nature anyway but I wouldn't be owned. "

What would you have him do though?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm owned and proud

I get that it doesn't really suit everybody.

It suit our d/s relationship, every relationship is different.

Being owned in this relationship, it's what I need and desire. To be controlled, bit of spanking, then back to reality.

Xx"

Good for you girl. Long may it continue for as long as you need it.

It's not something I'm into personally but I do understand it, guess I'm open minded?

To quote a posted above "mental illness"? Really? just because it's not something you understand doesn't mean they have a mental illness. Wtf?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like the idea of owning a guy if I'm honest! I'd never be owned though, I'd be loyal and faithful to one guy cos that's in my nature anyway but I wouldn't be owned. "

I find it pretty sexy as well

I totally get why people dislike it though, it's one of those marmite things isn't it? People are either for it or against it, not much fence sitting

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

Turn off as our couples where he can have full sex but she only soft until he says hes ready & ok with it, especially when she wants to - selfish - Fi xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Big turn off, can't be bothered messaging another geezer to get permission to meet some1 else

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like the idea of owning a guy if I'm honest! I'd never be owned though, I'd be loyal and faithful to one guy cos that's in my nature anyway but I wouldn't be owned.

What would you have him do though? "

Send me videos of him masturbating and pictures of his bum hole whenever I wanted, not spunk for 2 days before we have sex unless it's consecutive days of us just having sex, only have sex with me, tickle my back, lick my arse hole whilst I watch emmerdale, let me suck his dick whenever I want.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like the idea of owning a guy if I'm honest! I'd never be owned though, I'd be loyal and faithful to one guy cos that's in my nature anyway but I wouldn't be owned.

What would you have him do though?

interesting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like a great gig. Apart from the Emmerdale bit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Find it weird also, me and Mrs ps both switch and both enjoy playing as dom or sub. We've had the male half in owned couples ask me what I do with my 'sub' which is just annoying as MrsPS is no ones sub.

I also find it protentious when people sign off as master or sir, or even slave, kinda creepy

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I know there are some who use the word "owned" to keep away the wanna be doms.

Now collared.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know there are some who use the word "owned" to keep away the wanna be doms.

Now collared....."

Surely that's just counter productive? Insinuating you're owned/collared would hint that you enjoy it and want to be. This making you an attractive 'target' for someone?

Or am I just reading way to far into it?

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By *Carver-Man over a year ago

Glasgow

"I know there are some who use the word "owned" to keep away the wanna be doms.

Now collared.....

Surely that's just counter productive? Insinuating you're owned/collared would hint that you enjoy it and want to be. This making you an attractive 'target' for someone?

Or am I just reading way to far into it?

It sucks, but sexist men who try to wear down uninterested women are more likely to back off if they think they'll anger another man in the process.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yeah big turn off for me to

there is an other one too

when you chat a female for weeks then when you decide to meet up her the fella comes out of nowhere

she said hey can my fella or my fuck buddy watch us while we fuck

this happened to me 4 times n I blocked every one of the

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

Sorry to bust any myths but it’s a dynamic that we use sometimes during play. In our day in day out life I have never been so lucky to have such an equal, loving, caring partner. Doh now I’ve ruined the thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know there are some who use the word "owned" to keep away the wanna be doms.

Now collared.....

Surely that's just counter productive? Insinuating you're owned/collared would hint that you enjoy it and want to be. This making you an attractive 'target' for someone?

Or am I just reading way to far into it?

It sucks, but sexist men who try to wear down uninterested women are more likely to back off if they think they'll anger another man in the process."

You think? I'm not sure I agree totally. A lot of men wouldn't give two shits of someone is owned, collared, married etc when they have the horn, I don't see it making much of any difference? But I've never experienced it first hand so what do I know?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Up here there's a guy who allegedly owns lots of woman but I've seen posts where he's accusser of being no better than a pimp

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Turn off as our couples where he can have full sex but she only soft until he says hes ready & ok with it, especially when she wants to - selfish - Fi xx "

You may have seen some couples like this but please don’t assume all couples like us play that way

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Count agree more

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"Turn off as our couples where he can have full sex but she only soft until he says hes ready & ok with it, especially when she wants to - selfish - Fi xx

You may have seen some couples like this but please don’t assume all couples like us play that way

We met above described couple in club fortunately not all like that

Fi xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I know there are some who use the word "owned" to keep away the wanna be doms.

Now collared.....

Surely that's just counter productive? Insinuating you're owned/collared would hint that you enjoy it and want to be. This making you an attractive 'target' for someone?

Or am I just reading way to far into it?

It sucks, but sexist men who try to wear down uninterested women are more likely to back off if they think they'll anger another man in the process."

What!? Show me a guy that could successfully wear down an uninterested woman. I'm nice to look at right and I've got nice boobs and a wicked fanny, I'm uninterested in A LOT of guys that are interested in me, I'd never be worn down, nor would I ever need the assistance of another dude for someone to back off. It's quite an insulting statement to make, we aren't delicate little flowers you know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh dear, the usual froth appears when discussing a kink dynamic.

Yes, it does exist and is a serious part of people's relationship.

Yes there are abusers and unfaithful people but that happens in any form of relationship.

There are many who take the dynamic seriously and incorporate into their lives. I was recently on a workshop about incorporating protocol into your daily relationship. I have seen as many couples with issues in the swinging world than the couples at the workshop and in kink generally. Remembering that many in vanilla society think that people who swing have issues.

The people who criticise it, if they have not looked into it are merely stating a prejudice without knowledge or evidence, which is unfortunately the order of the day with kink.

Personally I recognise and I have no issues with such relationships. However, as you can see from my profile I do not play with women who have a dominant. Firstly I believe the D/S relationship is special and should be respected. Secondly because I identify as a dom I refuse on principle to seek the implicit or overt consent of another dom. However,because I respect the D/S dynamic I would never go behind another dom to try to break the trust implicit in that relationship. Playing with someone in bad faith is just not that important to me. The only exception to playing with a women with a dom is if invited to double dom as an equal by a more experienced dom, which I find a great experience.

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

I've taken on an ownership role in relationships and I've been owned.

It's a particular flavour of BDSM relationship and you're either into it or you're not.

I don't think it's 'pathetic' to have found something you enjoy and then to continue doing the thing that you enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/17 12:18:49]

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By *llie_worcMan over a year ago

bristol

If I got a girl who wants to be owned by me then I would take that as a huge priveledge that she wants to be so completely submissive to me and that she'd trust me to use her the way I know she wants.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"Oh dear, the usual froth appears when discussing a kink dynamic.

Yes, it does exist and is a serious part of people's relationship.

Yes there are abusers and unfaithful people but that happens in any form of relationship.

The people who criticise it, if they have not looked into it are merely stating a prejudice without knowledge or evidence, which is unfortunately the order of the day with kink.

That’s a great respect and understanding

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Oh dear, the usual froth appears when discussing a kink dynamic.

Yes, it does exist and is a serious part of people's relationship.

Yes there are abusers and unfaithful people but that happens in any form of relationship.

The people who criticise it, if they have not looked into it are merely stating a prejudice without knowledge or evidence, which is unfortunately the order of the day with kink.

This

I have to say I am really damned surprised at the amount of judgemental posts here! What happened to live and let live? Who are we to say how another lives their life is in any way inappropriate just because it isn't our way? Mental issues? Really? So what if someone identifies as owned. Or submissive. Or Dominant. Or even as a dog! Safe, sane and consensual We all identify as something. Straight. Gay. Bisexual. We all have our kinks. The disgust that some of you have shared may well be reflective of how someone in the vanilla world will view you with you just even being on this site! Live and let live and if it isn't for you then scroll on by. Find your own tribe and leave others to find theirs

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not for me..

I don't want to seek permission from anyone to play with anyone, it doesn't sit right. Neither would I like to 'own' anyone or be labelled anyone's daddy or the like. It's not in my nature to accept such labels.

It's easy to avoid though so i do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No turn off for me also

Got asked by a male one day for a meet and then said if I wanted him I'd have to ask his domme for permission to use him..... I had lady wank instead... I don't beg!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was previously collared and "owned" but even in that dynamic, my Dom and I had negotiated prior to doing anything with anyone else, what our boundaries and limits were. So, no additional permission was needed by a third party because as sub, I already knew what I was allowed to do and simply set those boundaries as my own.

It is not my personal preference to have to ask someone's Dom for permission to play with them. It's up to the sub to ensure they have permission and to do any asking beforehand or behind the scenes negotiation if there's something specific they want to do.

Having said that, there are some dynamics where the "ask my Dom/me for permission" is part of the kink of the couple. It's not my personal preference but it's not that unusual a kink to be honest. I just wouldn't engage. In the same way if someone was into something I wasn't, I just wouldn't engage and would move on.

Someone saying they are owned or collared doesn't automatically mean you will need to ask their partner for permission. Also, in any vanilla encounters with couples, am sure there are boundaries and things to discuss and negotiate, you just wouldn't label it "permission" because you'd probably call it conversation and getting to know one another.

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By *dores blackmenWoman over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

I have no problem with those who choose to be owners or be owned,that's what they enjoy

However it's not for me,I'm too independent,I do get asked frequently

I do find there are many men who woman think they own,and those men don't even know it

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By *addyandbabyCouple over a year ago

Bideford

Each to their own, I’m an owned slave and love it that way, wouldn’t want it any other way. I wouldn’t presume to tell people how to run there relationships and I don’t expect people to tell us how to run ours. It’s not role play to us, it is our relationship, if that’s not for you then you are not for us, it’s about compatibility

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By *addyandbabyCouple over a year ago

Bideford

"I'm owned and proud

I get that it doesn't really suit everybody.

It suit our d/s relationship, every relationship is different.

Being owned in this relationship, it's what I need and desire. To be controlled, bit of spanking, then back to reality.

Xx"

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By *ittleAcornMan over a year ago

visiting the beach

"I like the idea of owning a guy if I'm honest! I'd never be owned though, I'd be loyal and faithful to one guy cos that's in my nature anyway but I wouldn't be owned.

What would you have him do though?

That doesn't sound particularly awful...

I could probably "put up" with that! (as long as I don't have to watch Emmerdale as well)

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"I have no problem with those who choose to be owners or be owned,that's what they enjoy

However it's not for me,I'm too independent,I do get asked frequently

I do find there are many men who woman think they own,and those men don't even know it

It’s nothing to do with independence, I can assure you I’m totally in control of all aspects of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are a team, a normal fun loving couple. Sir wouldn’t want a meek little wallflower and I suppose it’s because I am so independent that I like to play sub sometimes.

There appear to be a lot of assumptions and mis understanding as well as the odd bit of vitriol thrown in. So that’s fine, if people don’t want to give us the time of day on this alone then it’s a pretty dam good filter for us too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What would you have him do though?

So I could 'own' a guy and get back tickles whenever I wanted? Hmmmmm..sounds fantastic.

Wonder if I could get that with my body not yours tho? I'd throw in the cock sucking to sweeten the deal, and chest nuzzling..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What would you have him do though?

So I could 'own' a guy and get back tickles whenever I wanted? Hmmmmm..sounds fantastic.

Wonder if I could get that with my body not yours tho? I'd throw in the cock sucking to sweeten the deal, and chest nuzzling.."

No problem, however I cross the line at watching Emmerdale

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What would you have him do though?

So I could 'own' a guy and get back tickles whenever I wanted? Hmmmmm..sounds fantastic.

Wonder if I could get that with my body not yours tho? I'd throw in the cock sucking to sweeten the deal, and chest nuzzling..

No problem, however I cross the line at watching Emmerdale

Sorry nick I never realised you already beat me to it, great minds think alike

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

It’s one of those “instant no’s” for me.

I wince at all those words (sir, daddy, owned) but that’s because it’s not my chink of kink ....

Each to their own. But it does turn me off instantly.

V x

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"It’s one of those “instant no’s” for me.

I wince at all those words (sir, daddy, owned) but that’s because it’s not my chink of kink ....

Each to their own. But it does turn me off instantly.

V x

I have no problem with that because you communicated in a non offensive way.

However the word pathetic used in the OP is completely uncalled for. If you don’t understand the dynamic, you name call people you don’t know?

I got a message not so long back from a couple who were fairly new to Fab. Never spoken to them, never even saw their profile till they messaged to tell me how pathetic they thought I was for being owned.

Interesting I thought

as well as other things.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t judge others at all just find it a turn off and move along when I see profiles like this maybe I don’t understand it.

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By *dores blackmenWoman over a year ago

incognito mode ;-)

"I have no problem with those who choose to be owners or be owned,that's what they enjoy

However it's not for me,I'm too independent,I do get asked frequently

I do find there are many men who woman think they own,and those men don't even know it

I think your assuming here,I've mentioned it's not for me,I know plenty of d/s couples in the scene,I know quite abit about the lifestyle

I'm meaning I'm independent in life and play,I just don't want to be owned and have no problem with those that do

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By *andb69Couple over a year ago

leeds

"A total turn off for me - but then the whole role play scenario does nothing for me at all.

The question was "is owning a turn off". Apologies for rattling your cage because I answered it by saying I'm turned off by it - but I have neither judged nor belittled.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"I have no problem with those who choose to be owners or be owned,that's what they enjoy

However it's not for me,I'm too independent,I do get asked frequently

I do find there are many men who woman think they own,and those men don't even know it

I think your assuming here,I've mentioned it's not for me,I know plenty of d/s couples in the scene,I know quite abit about the lifestyle

I'm meaning I'm independent in life and play,I just don't want to be owned and have no problem with those that do

I wasn’t having a go at you. Just picking up on the Independent comment as another independent woman x

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

"It’s one of those “instant no’s” for me.

I wince at all those words (sir, daddy, owned) but that’s because it’s not my chink of kink ....

Each to their own. But it does turn me off instantly.

V x

I have no problem with that because you communicated in a non offensive way.

However the word pathetic used in the OP is completely uncalled for. If you don’t understand the dynamic, you name call people you don’t know?

Interesting I thought

as well as other things....."

It does make me cross that people who have no understanding or desire in a particular thing instantly stoop to ridicule or insult. I do hope I’m never accused of that.

I know what I like. You know what you like. We probably share some interests even. If a guy suggests to be he is owned or wants to be then I’m outta there quicker than you can say “bend over” but someone else would simply adore that.

One thing we can all do is be respectful of each other’s kinks. And if we can’t do that then just shut the fuck up. Giggle.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/17 14:22:48]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It sounds quite interesting, I quite like the idea of calling someone master and I like doing things for people. Would be nice if I was with a guy and he ordered me to drop to me knees to suck his dick or pull my knickers down and bend over in front of him or take him to the toilet and hold his willy for him to pee. I love all that but then the other side of me wouldn't take instructions unless I enjoyed doing the things I'm being instructed to do!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nope too independent to be owned hate being told what to do big turn off x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"yeah big turn off for me to

there is an other one too

when you chat a female for weeks then when you decide to meet up her the fella comes out of nowhere

she said hey can my fella or my fuck buddy watch us while we fuck

this happened to me 4 times n I blocked every one of the

Report as a couple if you discover single women don't meet alone.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"yeah big turn off for me to

there is an other one too

when you chat a female for weeks then when you decide to meet up her the fella comes out of nowhere

she said hey can my fella or my fuck buddy watch us while we fuck

this happened to me 4 times n I blocked every one of the

Not really on. They should have been straight from the start.

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By *olliPineCouple over a year ago

swingers clubs

It's a turn off for us

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By *hrissy TvTV/TS over a year ago

birmingham

[Removed by poster at 13/12/17 16:29:32]

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

There are so many layers to the fet world - and for some people, that’s how their dynamic is. Many people who identify as ‘owned’ are in poly relationships & live the life 24/7.

If you don’t have that mindset, it’s hard to understand- my partner & I have a D/s relationship within our sex life but not outside of it; and even then, I’m more of a brat than a sub.

The fet community at Townhouse is very varied & while there are some practices that I don’t see any pleasure in, it’s a case of ‘each to their own’. That said, most of them are on a well known fetish site & not on Fab and a lot of Doms / Dommes / Masters / Mistresses wouldn’t dream of incorporating sex into fet play!!

We’re all different & that’s a good thing. If something isn’t for you, that’s fine - but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it!!

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By *hrissy TvTV/TS over a year ago

birmingham

Sorry to be a pain but can anyone mail me the site name that rhymes with pet and strife please can’t work it out doh

Thanks x

"A total turn off for me - but then the whole role play scenario does nothing for me at all.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"There are so many layers to the fet world - and for some people, that’s how their dynamic is. Many people who identify as ‘owned’ are in poly relationships & live the life 24/7.

If you don’t have that mindset, it’s hard to understand- my partner & I have a D/s relationship within our sex life but not outside of it; and even then, I’m more of a brat than a sub.

We’re all different & that’s a good thing. If something isn’t for you, that’s fine - but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it!! "

So I’m not going to get my Fab licence revoked after all.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"I know there are some who use the word "owned" to keep away the wanna be doms.

This

And to all those saying "I'd never contact a bloke for permission" well guess what?

Their filter is working

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry to be a pain but can anyone mail me the site name that rhymes with pet and strife please can’t work it out doh

Thanks x

A total turn off for me - but then the whole role play scenario does nothing for me at all.

Unfortunately fab blocks anyone quoting other web sites in personal mail and the email is blocked.

But if you think along the lines of an interest in fetish and as a lifestyle using the previous hint, you will work it out.

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"Sorry to be a pain but can anyone mail me the site name that rhymes with pet and strife please can’t work it out doh

Thanks x"

FETish LIFEstyle

Sounds like Pet Wife

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"There are so many layers to the fet world - and for some people, that’s how their dynamic is. Many people who identify as ‘owned’ are in poly relationships & live the life 24/7.

If you don’t have that mindset, it’s hard to understand- my partner & I have a D/s relationship within our sex life but not outside of it; and even then, I’m more of a brat than a sub.

We’re all different & that’s a good thing. If something isn’t for you, that’s fine - but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it!!

So I’m not going to get my Fab licence revoked after all.

... I hope not, with all those hot photos to check out!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Once again it becomes apparant that there should be a separate fetish room. However despite a decent amount of support for the idea the last attempt failed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"..another we don't get is the 'daddy' thing

Dont knock it , was more then happy to be called daddy by a mid 20's couple i used to meet before they moved away. Billy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I personally would never contact such people. If they can't make decisions on their own, I want nothing to do with them.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"I personally would never contact such people. If they can't make decisions on their own, I want nothing to do with them. "

Oh ffs behave!!! Really is this really what people think

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"There are so many layers to the fet world - and for some people, that’s how their dynamic is. Many people who identify as ‘owned’ are in poly relationships & live the life 24/7.

If you don’t have that mindset, it’s hard to understand- my partner & I have a D/s relationship within our sex life but not outside of it; and even then, I’m more of a brat than a sub.

We’re all different & that’s a good thing. If something isn’t for you, that’s fine - but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with it!!

So I’m not going to get my Fab licence revoked after all.

... I hope not, with all those hot photos to check out!!

Oh well thank you very much

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By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

"It sounds quite interesting, I quite like the idea of calling someone master and I like doing things for people. Would be nice if I was with a guy and he ordered me to drop to me knees to suck his dick or pull my knickers down and bend over in front of him or take him to the toilet and hold his willy for him to pee. I love all that but then the other side of me wouldn't take instructions unless I enjoyed doing the things I'm being instructed to do! "

Well, you start to see the intimacy of the sub / dom / domme relationship.

One of the arts of a successful scenario is for the dom/domme to ‘make’ the sub do things they both know the sub wants to do, while making the sub feel they are being ‘made’ to do those things and instructing them to do those things in a way that excites them. And then to help the sub do things they may not know they want to do, but enjoy finding out they enjoy being made to do them This is where boundaries are explored.

This kind of pleasure is difficult to achieve without a great deal of respect, trust and understanding on both sides.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Once again it becomes apparant that there should be a separate fetish room. However despite a decent amount of support for the idea the last attempt failed."

Agree with this, there is a post about this awhile ago, could be moderated (by people who have some idea)ike the political forum.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I know this is only me... if there is some thing that makes me feel uneasy I have to test why I’m closed minded about it.

I would never admit to being closed minded without a value reason or an experience.

Still I suspect the definition of closed is a fab open...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Turn off I have blocked men who have said owned by blah blah blah .women who do it look silly when the man moves on and the women gets dumped .Hardly any man can keep dick in pants too be owned by one owner

"
exactly they own the woman and still carry on meeting every woman that will have them but restricting who the woman can see

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

exactly they own the woman and still carry on meeting every woman that will have them but restricting who the woman can see

Please, with respect, according to who?

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

Total turn off for us .

Why ?

We aren’t at all into dominant or subservient guys or women , and neither of us are dominant or subservient either .

For us swinging is about having sexual hook ups with like minded people , and I don’t think owned people would be like minded .

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"I personally would never contact such people. If they can't make decisions on their own, I want nothing to do with them.

Oh ffs behave!!! Really is this really what people think

Apparently so!

Who knew Swingers could be so closed minded & judgemental?!

It’s not that they ‘can’t’ make decisions; they get a kick out of handing full control over to their partner.

When Gomez & I play at a Greedy Girls event, the control is with him - he can choose to invite whoever he likes to play with me and anyone who asks if they can join us only needs ask him - I have no say. We enjoy the thrill & the dynamic of doing that. It’s putting total trust in him, which is extremely intense & intimate.

Why do people feel the need to be so dismissive & superior about something they don’t understand. How would you feel if someone in your local pub started slating Swingers as all being sexual deviants or sick & twisted.

It’s personal choice. Don’t like it, move on!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

exactly they own the woman and still carry on meeting every woman that will have them but restricting who the woman can see

Please, with respect, according to who?"
the couple I knew who did this

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

exactly they own the woman and still carry on meeting every woman that will have them but restricting who the woman can see

Please, with respect, according to who?the couple I knew who did this "

I can only speak for myself though experience, I have played this, enjoyed it, had tremendous fun with it, first hand.

However, I will doff my cap to hearsay and just say thank goodness Stepford wives isn’t true...

Or should that be Stepford fab people aren’t....

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

If I was in a loving relationship with someone who knew exactly my taste in men - and he was willing to trawl through hundreds of shite messages/profiles to find the handful of men that I might actually be interested in - and I (of course!) had the final say so ................

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

"
if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do find it a bit cringe and it's is a turn off, if someone has it on their profile turn I instantly lose interest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Once again it becomes apparant that there should be a separate fetish room. However despite a decent amount of support for the idea the last attempt failed."

A shame. Suzy really did try...

I for one am still for this

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

Sorry, who says so?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

Sorry, who says so?"
I'm saying ' surely '

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

Sorry, who says so?"

Absolutely! What a load of spiffle.... Clearly this thread is going be vanilla's who have no idea Vs people in the lifestyle and know exactly how their dynamic works .....you say potato...

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By *ust PeachyWoman over a year ago

Prestonish

"Once again it becomes apparant that there should be a separate fetish room. However despite a decent amount of support for the idea the last attempt failed.

A shame. Suzy really did try...

I for one am still for this

Same with a room for those looking for ‘serious ‘ swinging or polyamorous relationships.

No matter how big the demand - reasonable suggestions are overlooked!

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Once again it becomes apparant that there should be a separate fetish room. However despite a decent amount of support for the idea the last attempt failed.

A shame. Suzy really did try...

I for one am still for this

I’m sure someone who is open to developing this site can see the positives.

The American site is ungainly, in my opinion, that is something that could be capitalised on.

My problem would be, if I know nothing about it... would I risk it, no I’d research it with someone who does.

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By *xyzptlk088Man over a year ago

Galway

To me personally it's a load of bollix I've met women had some fun and then a while later you see them say they are owned and cannot do anything without permission,I've had them contact me after this asking me to ask their owners permission to play and it's a total FUCK THAT SHIT from me.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Other people’s choice is Shit?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This dynamic is a bit confusing for me if I am honest. The Dom owning a sub seems to be contrived in my view and it seems to be an means to an end.

The dynamic was explained to me and the example given was that the lady’s Dom protected her in group situations. I call that being sensible and even chivalrous!

Contrived nonsense?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

Sorry, who says so?

Absolutely! What a load of spiffle.... Clearly this thread is going be vanilla's who have no idea Vs people in the lifestyle and know exactly how their dynamic works .....you say potato...

"
I say tomato and what the hell is vanilla in my book its a flavour in yours its a label ,we all have an opinion and we can't all agree with the other person ,even people who seriously follow the philosophy of dom/sub ,master/owned don't have the same criteria as each other and the example I gave was based on a couple I know who were serious about that lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I personally would never contact such people. If they can't make decisions on their own, I want nothing to do with them.

Oh ffs behave!!! Really is this really what people think

Apparently so!

Who knew Swingers could be so closed minded & judgemental?!

It’s not that they ‘can’t’ make decisions; they get a kick out of handing full control over to their partner.

It’s personal choice. Don’t like it, move on! "

I did move on, you're the one who's trying to make a fuss.

All I said is, it's not for me, and gave a reason why.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Once again it becomes apparant that there should be a separate fetish room. However despite a decent amount of support for the idea the last attempt failed.

A shame. Suzy really did try...

I for one am still for this

Same with a room for those looking for ‘serious ‘ swinging or polyamorous relationships.

No matter how big the demand - reasonable suggestions are overlooked!

Yes I saw this.... Seems they don't want to let 'these type' of people have fun on here..

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By *xyzptlk088Man over a year ago

Galway

Other people’s choice is Shit?"

when THEY contact ME wanting to play but then ask ME to ask someone elses permission to play then yes their choice is shit in my opinion and they can go play with the traffic for all I care.

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan over a year ago

London

couldn't agree more

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well, you start to see the intimacy of the sub / dom / domme relationship.

This kind of pleasure is difficult to achieve without a great deal of respect, trust and understanding on both sides."

Ohhhhh yes, this for me most definitely.

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"This dynamic is a bit confusing for me if I am honest. The Dom owning a sub seems to be contrived in my view and it seems to be an means to an end.

The dynamic was explained to me and the example given was that the lady’s Dom protected her in group situations. I call that being sensible and even chivalrous!

Contrived nonsense?"

Not at all, that protection hopefully, for most, a human trait.

Gurdjeiff talks in one of his books about intelligence.

He says there are drivers in humanity.

The intellect, the emotional, the physical.

If any become dominant to any of the others, there will be a unhealthy response.

Example: if you are in your head, geek it can be to the detriment to your health, you can become physically weak through no exercise, behind a computer you gather no social skills to for emotional relationship.

If you are in love, fuck rational intelligent thought, Miss food, don’t look after your body.

Or you are at the top of your game physically, you can’t see why no one would want you emotionally, to a point where rational thought disappears, look at footballers.

Being in a D/s relationship brings a balance to this.

An old friend once said, it has to be holistic and intelligent.

Not always a concept everyone understands.

Then again, I’ve experienced it, both being balanced... and not

Now piss play... that is so over my head, I wouldn’t even know where to start to comment on it...

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

No that’s not right for our situation at least. I the Fem spend most the time on this site and mostly because I like the forums. But during that time I receive messages which i vet and respond to and only alert FT ( I’m now changing Sir to a more personal FT) if I feel that someone has potential.

Hey I’m new relatively new (1 1/2 years) to being a sub etc so I’m certainly not going to say I’m an expert, I’m talking for myself and my experience. FT has been into this 30+ years. Control is only in his hands when I want it to be.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

You just want a pa don't you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s a dynamic that exists in our relationship which suits what we both want. Sir is my dom and I don’t play sub to anyone else.

Having said that I’m aware through threads like this that I think some people are taking the word a bit to literally. I wonder if you think I struggle to write on here chained up in my dungeon.

TBH I’m not sub but in a way I can see the benefit.

.......... can you see where I’m going here?

if you're owned you don't get a say surely?

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By *heIcebreakersCouple over a year ago

Cramlington

"Quite often I’ll read a single female’s profile and she’ll mention the fact that she’s ‘owned’ and that her master will decide who she plays with. As soon as I read this I’m not interested, it’s a complete turn off for me. Are there any ladies who like this situation and why? Any males that ‘own’. To me, it sounds pathetic but each to their own I guess. "
indeed. Your belief in your right to use such judgemental language is pretty repellent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I also have my Dd and I won't be an 's'type to anyone else.

We are both here for sex but the kink is for us as Dd/lg.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Other people’s choice is Shit?

when THEY contact ME wanting to play but then ask ME to ask someone elses permission to play then yes their choice is shit in my opinion and they can go play with the traffic for all I care."

That's obviously just part of their dynamic though and how they play . I would class it as role play rather than something to be horrified about

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By *heIcebreakersCouple over a year ago

Cramlington

"just move on to the next profile that might interest you

that's clearly what people do! I'm sure they don't need you butting in telling them what to do, people are entitled to discuss their likes and dislikes in the forums!"
they are but why do they have to use pejorative language and childish references to other people's mental health?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Quite often I’ll read a single female’s profile and she’ll mention the fact that she’s ‘owned’ and that her master will decide who she plays with. As soon as I read this I’m not interested, it’s a complete turn off for me. Are there any ladies who like this situation and why? Any males that ‘own’. To me, it sounds pathetic but each to their own I guess. indeed. Your belief in your right to use such judgemental language is pretty repellent."
is it a judgement or an opinion

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By *ornylittlesubWoman over a year ago

Grangemouth

"Quite often I’ll read a single female’s profile and she’ll mention the fact that she’s ‘owned’ and that her master will decide who she plays with. As soon as I read this I’m not interested, it’s a complete turn off for me. Are there any ladies who like this situation and why? Any males that ‘own’. To me, it sounds pathetic but each to their own I guess. indeed. Your belief in your right to use such judgemental language is pretty repellent.is it a judgement or an opinion "

Clearly a judgement.....Fab has more than it's fair share of judgemental people....strange for such a liberated(supposedly) bunch as swingers!

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By *MaleMan over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/17 21:59:56]

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By *MaleMan over a year ago

Spoke to and known a few single swing fems over the years. For many of the 'I was previously owned' fems the story usually went along the lines of:

- Swinging inexperienced single fem landed on scene for no strings swinging.

- A male gets talking, gets to know & social & fun meets her.

- Beyond first meets and onwards he focuses in on having her soley meet him and him soley her.

- Furthermore, whilst things are fun, easy going, she's still on a high & enjoying, he plays the dom card. He tells her she's owned by him. Whilst he still meets others on the QT.

- She mentions she wants to meet other males as a single fem at times.

- He says she can do so only on his selection & say so. Her meeting others never really occurs. Every male she might potentially meet he puts her off, blags her off them one way or another.

- In contrast he occasionally uses her to attract other cpls into a cpls meet. Not the single meeting other males she actually wants.

- Things goes pear-shaped, she realises soely just applies to her. She's been manipulated. Realises she's been diverted from what she came swinging for. Realises it's all about him controlling her on the scene but in disguise.

- She brings things to an end to refocus on what she came swinging for.

- She gets covered in his shit flinging so almost gives up the scene if not gives it up.

That is not to say such m-f friendships are all like that but heard things along those lines & variations of quite alot.

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By *heIcebreakersCouple over a year ago

Cramlington

"Spoke to and known a few single swing fems over the years. For many of the 'I was previously owned' fems the story usually went along the lines of: