FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Skin Flints?

Skin Flints?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing...

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By *zanyCouple over a year ago

truro

Have a social first then you could find out these things before committing yourself.

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By *ack_at_the_farm....Man over a year ago

woodhall spa

It appears common courtesy isn’t so common afterall

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By *ipvanwinkieMan over a year ago

out of town!

I thought you were a non-smoker?

Anyway, yep - a social would possibly help, then you can decide.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."
let's put it this way I wouldn't have treated you like that ,you get the princess treatment from me and I don't smoke not that it bothers me if you do ,everyone is different just gotta sift the good ones out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Yet

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."

Yet you've verified one stating you had a great night and hope to see hm again

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I thought you were a non-smoker?

. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You had a stranger turn up to your house for a shag without even meeting them first? I imagine the fella would have been viewing that as a free alternative to paying for sex and their only agenda was to blow their load... bringing a bottle to enjoy together wouldn't have been on their radar. Make them put a bit of effort in! If they can't be arsed to meet for a beer or a coffee then you shouldn't be arsed to let them into your house or your knickers

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By *zamiWoman over a year ago

LONDON

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."

When I read some of these comments Im so glad Im not sexually attracted to men

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By *zamiWoman over a year ago

LONDON

"You had a stranger turn up to your house for a shag without even meeting them first? I imagine the fella would have been viewing that as a free alternative to paying for sex and their only agenda was to blow their load... bringing a bottle to enjoy together wouldn't have been on their radar. Make them put a bit of effort in! If they can't be arsed to meet for a beer or a coffee then you shouldn't be arsed to let them into your house or your knickers

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

Why would I take a drink to a meet when I can't drink any of it because I'm driving back from the meet?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

When I've invited anyone into my home in the past I certainly don't expect them to bring me a gift. Yes it's nice when they bring a bottle of wine say,but I certainly don't expect it.

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By *ercuryMan over a year ago

Grantham

A man should be nice and courteous whenever he meets a woman, swinging or otherwise.

Being tight is not a good trait, but neither is a sense of entitlement if money is spent. It's a very fine balance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least you provided the rum for one. He seemed to like it!

The phrase above 'before you let him into your house and your knickers' is interesting. It infers that a man has to 'earn' sex with a woman and should be grateful for it. Shouldn't it be mutually so?

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

The phrase above 'before you let him into your house and your knickers' is interesting. It infers that a man has to 'earn' sex with a woman and should be grateful for it. Shouldn't it be mutually so? "

Yes. Very telling that phrase.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The phrase above 'before you let him into your house and your knickers' is interesting. It infers that a man has to 'earn' sex with a woman and should be grateful for it. Shouldn't it be mutually so? "

Depends what you are after - nobody has to "earn" anything. Sex is sex and if both parties are cool with a fuck and go, awesome. However the OP seemed to want to spend time together, have a drink, have a smoke together, and wanted him to bring a bottle, so she would perhaps be better off meeting for a social where those things could happen.

Men don't have to be "grateful" as you put it, neither do women. It's about communicating what your expectations are. Nothing wrong with saying "bring a bottle" when you message the guy with your address, is there?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing...let's put it this way I wouldn't have treated you like that ,you get the princess treatment from me and I don't smoke not that it bothers me if you do ,everyone is different just gotta sift the good ones out

CRINGE!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would I take a drink to a meet when I can't drink any of it because I'm driving back from the meet?"
maybe they were local and walked round ,maybe they are environmentalists and went by public transport,maybe they got a lift there by their wives

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."

The etiquette is whatever you want it to be. Just because a lot of swingers do something doesn't mean you have to do it too. Make your own rules and if some people don't like it, sod em!

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By *ipvanwinkieMan over a year ago

out of town!

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

CRINGE!!!"

Can’t beat some early morning white knighting

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

CRINGE!!!"
ha nice arse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At least you provided the rum for one. He seemed to like it!

I didn't read it like that. I interpreted it as treating her with respect, which should always be mutual of course.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

CRINGE!!!"
oh just had a thought maybe you were one of the tight arses

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By *ighland gentlemanMan over a year ago

Ardgay

What to bring or not should be discussed before hand.

Have arrived with various things, from blind fold and restraints to an Easter Egg!

Have also visited with nothing more than a smile.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Nothing wrong with saying "bring a bottle" when you message the guy with your address, is there?!

Bit cheeky I wouldn't personally do that,so I presume him saying to her make sure you have a bottle in is ok as well? He's the one that's made the effort to get to her after all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok, but to me it comes from the same place as 'send me a decent message or you'll be deleted'. It's aexpecting guys to jump through hoops before they are bestowed with the honour of sex. It's like throwing a fish to a performing seal.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive had men turn up with wine (bonus) and some turn up with nothing (which is what I expect and am happy with). I’ve met some men who insisted on paying for hotels, food and drink despite my offer to pay my share.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Omg seriously how can someone turn up without a drink first of all anything even a bottle of wine to break the ice I'm no expert but I would always meet somebody outside first before inviting them to your place you sound like a really nice person just be careful you never know who people are I've always tried to make sure there's a little bit of a connection when you're out for a drink my name is Carlo nice to meet you just friendly advice that's all I'm trying to give you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

CRINGE!!!oh just had a thought maybe you were one of the tight arses

I’ll admit I’ve never taken a bottle of wine to someone’s house. But it’s never been a problem I don’t think

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I (mrs) wont accept a gift of any sorts not even a bottle of wine as with gifts always comes a sense of entitlement and I want to make it clear they have none

as for drink I /we never play and drink at the same time you only have to go to some clubs to see why.

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"I (mrs) wont accept a gift of any sorts not even a bottle of wine as with gifts always comes a sense of entitlement and I want to make it clear they have none

as for drink I /we never play and drink at the same time you only have to go to some clubs to see why. "

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"What to bring or not should be discussed before hand.

Have arrived with various things, from blind fold and restraints to an Easter Egg!

Have also visited with nothing more than a smile. "

Indeed x and if I have arranged to visit someone (as I always do for meets as elderly parents at home) then I always ask if they would like me to bring something xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've never expected anyone to bring anything over for a meet cos it's not a date. Especially on a first meet as you don't know them. I do say to people we have met before we are having a few beers and they can bring a drink if they want or have one when they are here. As for the cigarettes I find that quite bizarre. If you smoke buy your own and let them smoke if they want. I wouldn't expect them to bring their cigarettes out just because I wanted one. I'm a bit more easy oazy tho x

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"At least you provided the rum for one. He seemed to like it!

Thank you for replying to that. I was chomping at the bit to tear that apart. You have probably saved me a forum holiday.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We wouldn’t dream of being a guest in someone’s house and turning up empty handed. Whether it’s a sex party or a vanilla party. We might bring a bottle, chocolates, flowers. It really doesn’t matter. It’s a gesture to those opening up their home. Fortunately most people from swinging that we’ve entertained at home have a similar outlook to us. There are a few that haven’t though. I don’t if the reason is because ‘it’s only a sex party’. Or if these people would turn up at a vanilla party empty handed too. Though I’ve never come across this at a vanilla party.

Mrs

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"I (mrs) wont accept a gift of any sorts not even a bottle of wine as with gifts always comes a sense of entitlement and I want to make it clear they have none

as for drink I /we never play and drink at the same time you only have to go to some clubs to see why. "

Agreed.

I don't take wine if I go and see my friends either, that would feel weird to me (unless we we were specifically going to be drinking, like at a BBQ or something).

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By *irginieWoman over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I’ve invited people to my house without meeting them first. But here’s a thing..... if you are meeting for sex then I guess there is no difference to paying for sex (other than the handing over of cash). It boils down to the communication beforehand I guess. I do not meet just for sex unless I’m at a club. Generally I’m after a fun eve that may or may not involve sex depending on how it pans out.

Anyone coming to my house would have spoken to me many times before hand and the idea that bringing a bottle would be a good idea would be very clear

If I just wanted to fuck and chuck them out then I would not be expecting anything other than a couple of condoms.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Some interesting comments. Sometimes people don't have time to meet for a social first so spend a while chatting to gauge their character.

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By *ady LickWoman over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I usually ask if the person I'm meeting up with wants me to bring anything.

If I've got to know them, I will anyway. I tend to meet during the day so it's usually cake rather than alcohol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I usually ask if the person I'm meeting up with wants me to bring anything.

If I've got to know them, I will anyway. I tend to meet during the day so it's usually cake rather than alcohol

I have it on good authority that pie is much better for you than cake

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By *icearmsMan over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

I guess some will be like that and others wont.

If meeting socially I always offer a drink to the lady.

I'm a gent and wouldn't dream of turning up to a first meet empty handed if at their house.. bust that's just the way I am.

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By *taceylacyCouple over a year ago

NOTTINGHAM

I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy"

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette

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By *icearmsMan over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette "

Makes note to call in to the butchers on the way round for bones

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette

Makes note to call in to the butchers on the way round for bones

They will be your best friends!

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By *icearmsMan over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette

Makes note to call in to the butchers on the way round for bones

They will be your best friends!

And how do I make you my best friend?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't expect anyone to bring anything with them if I accommodated. I don't smoke, but anyone who did would be expected to bring them with.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette

Makes note to call in to the butchers on the way round for bones

They will be your best friends!

And how do I make you my best friend?

Chocolate and Gin!

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By *lanemikeMan over a year ago

Bolton

Just normal courtesy to offer to buy a drink or take a small gift if being entertained at home... You have to wonder at some folk, do they not have etiquette or manners ?!!

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By *orseydaveMan over a year ago

Norwich NR5

First time meet at a couples house I would not dream of turning up empty handed, old school decency and manners i call it, but we now live in a me me me world of takers, so nothing i read on here surprises me anymore.

A couple i know well invited a chap to there house one night, he turned up late, with a lame excuse the off-licence was closed, and when he left several hours later, so had my friends purse and a gold ring.

When they called him, the cheeky twat told them "call the police and when i get to court so will your fab photo and address"...

The internet has bought swinging to many people who when we all used to have to write a letter, would not known of the scene, but its also introducd jeremy kyle-style swingers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did she send that message though? Or just expect a bottle....

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."

There are plenty of freeloaders on here OP.

Amazing how many turn up at a club and have conveniently forgotten to bring any means of paying, even when it was them that invited us??

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

I'm not sure that not expecting/taking gifts means you're freeloaders, ungrateful, or you don't have manners. It perhaps just means that you're likely to have been raised differently, or perhaps even it might be a generational thing?

If someone brought me round alcohol, cake, or chocolate I'd politely refuse and suggest that they enjoy it themselves. I don't want to feel obliged to put out because I've received gifts (plus I don't consume any of those things at home anyway).

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

FWIW, I would also feel like I was giving gifts in return for sex if I was expected to turn up with an (expensive!) bottle of vodka or similar. I'm not here to pay for sex in money or gifts - I'm here to enjoy sex with nothing exchanging hands. That's how it works for me.

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By *m3232Man over a year ago

maidenhead

I don’t smoke or drink so I wouldn’t bring one but also for me if I was a female I wouldn’t want to drink from a bottle someone brought over as you don’t know what’s in it. To keep you safe however I would also pay for the drinks meeting someone

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy"

Think you’re taking piss personally

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Our philosophy is to treat our swinging friends as we would treat our vanilla friends. Friends are friends as far as we’re concerned, so with regards to bringing a gift (eg flowers or wine or chocolate) when invited to a friend’s house, it’s totally irrelevant as to whether it’s a friend we have sex with or a friend we don’t have sex with.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Think in life alot of people take and never give .Alot of people arnt bothered what people think of them .Probably why alot of men don't get repeat meets .

Maybe some women act same way .This is why chatting for a while and a social first are important .They either come over nice or they hang themselves eventually

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well I’ve had a couple of women off Fab come round to my house and they’ve never brought or offered to bring anything.

And it’s not bothered me one bit. I’m more than capable of buying my own drinks.

Guess we’re all different at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well I’ve had a couple of women off Fab come round to my house and they’ve never brought or offered to bring anything.

And it’s not bothered me one bit. I’m more than capable of buying my own drinks.

Guess we’re all different at the end of the day"

I think to a certain extent it depends whether it’s a party, or dinner is being cooked, or something. I wouldn’t take anything with me if I was going for a cup of tea and chat and a shag. But if they are going to massive efforts, the least I can do is to do something to show my appreciation.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

Treat everyone with respect and get the same respect returned... don't treat people like a piece of meat!

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By *icearmsMan over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette

Makes note to call in to the butchers on the way round for bones

They will be your best friends!

And how do I make you my best friend?

Chocolate and Gin! "

That shouldn't be a problem... I've just joined a gin club.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy"

we don't like to go to anyone's house empty handed but if someone demanded a particular item to be brought, we'd decline the meet...there's consideration and there's taking the piss...

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Yet

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing...

Yet you've verified one stating you had a great night and hope to see hm again

And "felt respected at all times"

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By *eliciousladyWoman over a year ago

Sometimes U.K

At least you provided the rum for one. He seemed to like it! "

"Sex is sex and if both parties are cool with a fuck and go, awesome. However the OP seemed to want to spend time together, have a drink, have a smoke together, and wanted him to bring a bottle, so she would perhaps be better off meeting for a social where those things could happen.

It's about communicating what your expectations are. Nothing wrong with saying "bring a bottle" when you message the guy with your address, is there?!

Agree with this

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By *oodmessMan over a year ago

yumsville

Surely if someone is coming to your house, you are the host, you're supposed to get the pop, crisps and chipolatas out.

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By *r C Miss CCouple over a year ago

llanelli

We was arranging a meet with a couple on here. Lol the woman in the couple reckoned she didn't have anything sexy to wear and wanted us to provide her with sexy clothing and drinks. She wanted to try out all missc's sexy clothes. We jad the feeling they was either taking the piss so We just laughed at them told them to go buy there own clothes and blocked them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing...

The etiquette is whatever you want it to be. Just because a lot of swingers do something doesn't mean you have to do it too. Make your own rules and if some people don't like it, sod em!"

This.

Sex is the finale for me... The social aspect is far more important.

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By *lanemikeMan over a year ago

Bolton

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?"

No that is not the way it works, one does not equate to the other....

If I was invited somewhere and decided to take along a small token of appreciation I would NOT EXPECT sex...

To me taking along a token gift is just social etiquette, swinging world or vanilla world...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?

No that is not the way it works, one does not equate to the other....

If I was invited somewhere and decided to take along a small token of appreciation I would NOT EXPECT sex...

To me taking along a token gift is just social etiquette, swinging world or vanilla world..."

That’s how I feel. Sex is totally irrelevant in how I decide to show my appreciation for a friend who’s gone to some effort. We went to a vanilla dinner party recently. We took flowers and wine to the hosts. We certainly weren’t expecting a shag though - that would have been ludicrous. Should we treat those friends differently if they were swinger friends? Does an innocent act of appreciation become a more devious act when sex involved? It doesn’t with us, and I don’t believe it does with any of our good friends on the swing scene.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You'd have definitely got a nice bottle out of me

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"We was arranging a meet with a couple on here. Lol the woman in the couple reckoned she didn't have anything sexy to wear and wanted us to provide her with sexy clothing and drinks. She wanted to try out all missc's sexy clothes. We jad the feeling they was either taking the piss so We just laughed at them told them to go buy there own clothes and blocked them. "

It was a bloke!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."

some are like this after all its not dating!

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By *r C Miss CCouple over a year ago

llanelli

It was a bloke!

i seriously doubt it was a bloke.. they were photo and meet verified as a couple by a few people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?

No that is not the way it works, one does not equate to the other....

If I was invited somewhere and decided to take along a small token of appreciation I would NOT EXPECT sex...

To me taking along a token gift is just social etiquette, swinging world or vanilla world...

Mrs"

I'm assuming these weren't friends the OP was accommodating. I have my long term partner coming over soon; I've gone to a lot of effort for him, and I'm making him tea.

He's bringing his cock

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To me taking along a token gift is just social etiquette, swinging world or vanilla world... "

this is going out of fashion.

To me if i go anywhere to peoples home i do take flowers and a bottle or chocolates, i have friends who dont

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you enjoyed the sex would the lack of a bottle in his hand put you off seeing him again? It's just a bottle of alcohol after all. You can get a bottle of Lambrini for a fiver (I think).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you enjoyed the sex would the lack of a bottle in his hand put you off seeing him again? It's just a bottle of alcohol after all. You can get a bottle of Lambrini for a fiver (I think)."

this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?

No that is not the way it works, one does not equate to the other....

If I was invited somewhere and decided to take along a small token of appreciation I would NOT EXPECT sex...

To me taking along a token gift is just social etiquette, swinging world or vanilla world...

Mrs

I'm assuming these weren't friends the OP was accommodating. I have my long term partner coming over soon; I've gone to a lot of effort for him, and I'm making him tea.

He's bringing his cock

Yes they probably weren’t friends, as a result they didn’t treat her as they might have treated vanilla friend. Although admittedly we don’t know how these guys treat their non-sex friends, as someone said this sort of etiquette is going out of fashion. But to me personally, I would want a potentially sex partner to treat me as a friend, and if they don’t do that it makes me feel a bit shit. So our philosophy is to make no distinction in how we treat sex friends versus non-sex friends.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I wouldn't let them through the door unless they bring a bottle of Smirnoff. i certainly ask the hosts whats their tipple when I go theirs.It's common curtesy

This

If I've been invited around I do this, and none drinkers get some cake or chocolate. I would have had a social beforehand anyway.

I've had people bring bones for the dogs (before anyone says it was for me)

I called etiquette

Makes note to call in to the butchers on the way round for bones

They will be your best friends!

And how do I make you my best friend?

Chocolate and Gin!

That shouldn't be a problem... I've just joined a gin club.

Yay!

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By *ucy LewdWoman over a year ago

North Oxfordshire

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?

No that is not the way it works, one does not equate to the other....

If I was invited somewhere and decided to take along a small token of appreciation I would NOT EXPECT sex...

To me taking along a token gift is just social etiquette, swinging world or vanilla world..."

But you said that you get out what you put in...

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By *asmartsCouple over a year ago

sheffield

not at all, we always pay for the hotel and is always a top end hotel!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would I take a drink to a meet when I can't drink any of it because I'm driving back from the meet?"

When invited to a ladies house having not met previously (which happens more than some on this thread seem to realise) then, yes, I would/have taken a bottle etc....it is common courtesy. I have also invited couples to my house...and they have brought a bottle. So decency and courtesy DO exist on fab.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Jaysus OP I would be more worried about getting murdered in my own home by someone I didn't know, than whether or not they brought a bottle

You have indicated you are new to the swinging scene, so please consider being more careful - we have had women in the forum here discuss being beat to shit or stalked by men they have had over for a play to their home!

Next up, yes typically anyone coming over should bring stuff - wine, sweets, (condoms), etc. Common courtesy.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing..."

I met a man socially who didn't hold the door for me to enter, went straight to the bar and bought himself a drink. When I asked if he was going to get me one he replied "this ain't a date love!"

There are some men who really have no manners and assume as your meeting for casual sex why bring anything. These are probably the same types that would turn up to a dinner party with only their empty bellies anyway.

I meet socially before inviting to my home: dodged many a bullet.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

Oh...please!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"A man should be nice and courteous whenever he meets a woman, swinging or otherwise.

Being tight is not a good trait, but neither is a sense of entitlement if money is spent. It's a very fine balance. "

Not gender specific. If I'm going to anyone's home I bring something. Generation thing I guess, my parents never went anywhere empty handed.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

CRINGE!!!"

Not just me then!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"At least you provided the rum for one. He seemed to like it!

The phrase above 'before you let him into your house and your knickers' is interesting. It infers that a man has to 'earn' sex with a woman and should be grateful for it. Shouldn't it be mutually so?

I didn't read it like that. I interpreted it as treating her with respect, which should always be mutual of course."

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"We wouldn’t dream of being a guest in someone’s house and turning up empty handed. Whether it’s a sex party or a vanilla party. We might bring a bottle, chocolates, flowers. It really doesn’t matter. It’s a gesture to those opening up their home. Fortunately most people from swinging that we’ve entertained at home have a similar outlook to us. There are a few that haven’t though. I don’t if the reason is because ‘it’s only a sex party’. Or if these people would turn up at a vanilla party empty handed too. Though I’ve never come across this at a vanilla party.

Mrs"

Exactly!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I feel I'm the only person who doesn't expect visitors tonight bring something with them. How I have always done it is, I'm inviting them, they are my guests, I look after them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I met a man socially who didn't hold the door for me to enter, went straight to the bar and bought himself a drink. When I asked if he was going to get me one he replied "this ain't a date love!"

I meet socially before inviting to my home: dodged many a bullet."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All i will say on this matter is this... you get out what you put in.

So if you put in a cheap bottle of wine, you should expect a crappy blowjob.

But if you put in a decent bottle of champagne, you should expect several rounds of mind-blowing sex?"

Not at all... just be pleasant and take a drink for the lady... or buy her one at the pub, or treat her to a pizza... don't expect anyone to pay for champagne or a steak meal at the Ritz... but not a can of and a bag of chips from burger van! Haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Yet

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing...

Yet you've verified one stating you had a great night and hope to see hm again

And "felt respected at all times"

I was referring to the sex..i.e in other words, he wasn't a boundary pushing a hole.

Maybe I should have put he was tight with his cigs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would expect the man to (at a social) at least buy me thr first drink. After that I will happily buy a round. Go Dutch for lunch and as I'm not working at present if I'm meeting at a hotel then I'm afraid it's on the man to pick up the bill. As most of them are on business anyway it's fine.

It's a bit like what's the etiquette at Christmas? I have given a lover a tiny token gift (literally a key ring) and a card as it's nice to be nice and I'm like that with everyone so why should I change my generous spirit.

Just my 2p worth.

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By *xtrafun4youMan over a year ago

Dunstable

No skin flint here

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Jaysus OP I would be more worried about getting murdered in my own home by someone I didn't know, than whether or not they brought a bottle

Next up, yes typically anyone coming over should bring stuff - wine, sweets, (condoms), etc. Common courtesy. "

I haven't actually said if I met them first or not...

One meet was at a serviced apartment anyway.

If they come to my house I get a phone number & car reg.

I do Karate too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I feel I'm the only person who doesn't expect visitors tonight bring something with them. How I have always done it is, I'm inviting them, they are my guests, I look after them.

I agree. When I have someone round I’m the host and I’ll buy in everything that’s needed. I don’t expect anyone else to fill my cupboards

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm new to swinging so not sure what the etiquette is.. pah.

Met a couple of guys so far, who I accommodated & neither one brought a drink or anything over. One was a smoker & I said let have a smoke after & he didn't even get his cigs out.

Yet

Both expecting to see me again but it puts me off.

Is this common on here?

I guess I hold old fashioned values & times are changing...

Yet you've verified one stating you had a great night and hope to see hm again

And "felt respected at all times"

I was referring to the sex..i.e in other words, he wasn't a boundary pushing a hole.

Maybe I should have put he was tight with his cigs

Of the two meets you've had, you left a verification saying you felt respected.

Now, I'm no Sherlock, however it doesn't take long to work out who he is. I didn't think naming and shaming was allowed on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago