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swinging a Hindrance for singles when looking for serious relationship?
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Most of my friends on the swing scene are singles.Reason given .majority of them find it difficult to commit to any relationship.
What is your opinion.Do you think swinging play a bigger role why most men and women are single on the swing scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good question there.
I am single because I have issues.
I use the swinging scene because the rules are clear: we all want sex, and it's on a NSA basis.
I'm not single because I use the swinging scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want a man who swings though.
Here here I’m ready too share the life style could never go back too a vanilla relationship  "
I'm the same. I couldn't go back to vanilla. |
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"Good question there.
I am single because I have issues.
I use the swinging scene because the rules are clear: we all want sex, and it's on a NSA basis.
I'm not single because I use the swinging scene. "
sums me up |
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I’ve tried many vanilla Relationships but never worked out, I’m back on here as a single, I’ve mentioned it to my last couple of gf’s and made the profile with the last one but she just couldn’t do it.
(I’ve asked admin to change the profile to a single male)
|
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"Swinging and being in a committed relationship aren't two different things though.
"
No but the pool of people openly advertising that they want a committed non-monogamous relationship is pretty limited. It's a pretty hard subject to bring up on a date too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Given the choice, I'd chose a committed relationship over swinging as a single. Swinging as a couple would be best, but I'd need to catch a unicorn first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I want a man who swings though.
Here here I’m ready too share the life style could never go back too a vanilla relationship "
You seek a partner in filth maiden? |
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I used to think if I met someone I would want to carry on with this, but then realised I'm more for the social side and a having needs met when needed  so don't think I would want to swing as part of a couple, but would rather a relationship over this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Given the choice, I'd chose a committed relationship over swinging as a single. Swinging as a couple would be best, but I'd need to catch a unicorn first."
You can see on this thread there are women ready, willing and able here. |
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"Given the choice, I'd chose a committed relationship over swinging as a single. Swinging as a couple would be best, but I'd need to catch a unicorn first.
You can see on this thread there are women ready, willing and able here."
That is very true but finding one who you click and get along with is a very different matter unfortunately |
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I would love a happy ever after. Someone who idolises me and vice versa. Am I looking? Nope.
I've convinced myself I'm gonna be a crazy old dog lady. If I get my happy ever after then so be it, but I'm not counting on it.
Right now I think I'd like to swing as a couple, but I also think time would need to be taken for the 2 people first, and swinging an add on once complete trust has been built. At the same time I don't think I could have a vanilla relationship. Knowing swinging would become part of it eventually though would be enough for me not to run. |
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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago
North Colchester |
"Given the choice, I'd chose a committed relationship over swinging as a single. Swinging as a couple would be best, but I'd need to catch a unicorn first.
You can see on this thread there are women ready, willing and able here.
That is very true but finding one who you click and get along with is a very different matter unfortunately "
 |
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"I would love a happy ever after. Someone who idolises me and vice versa. Am I looking? Nope.
I've convinced myself I'm gonna be a crazy old dog lady. If I get my happy ever after then so be it, but I'm not counting on it.
Right now I think I'd like to swing as a couple, but I also think time would need to be taken for the 2 people first, and swinging an add on once complete trust has been built. At the same time I don't think I could have a vanilla relationship. Knowing swinging would become part of it eventually though would be enough for me not to run."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m in the conundrum of enjoying swinging and having great fun on this site, balanced against wanting to find a permanent relationship.
Currently on an informal break from Fab focusing on normal dating. I’ve been on some lovely dates with some very attractive women and I hope things can progress more seriously. Unfortunately I’ve had one lady, who I really liked, pretty much drop me like a hot potato when I gave her the answer to the question, “what was my most adventurous sexual encounter”. Also, I’ve ended up in relationships whereby it becomes clear they are not keen on trying swinging - and I never want to be that pushy guy who tried to force them into it - and this I was unable to continue.
I’m not sure what the solution is? Continue on Fab having fun and hopefully meet a female who is interested in a relationship, or pursue vanilla dating and hope to meet someone as equally sexually adventurous.
The good news is that a Fab is evidence of many couples successfully achieving this, so I remain positive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah if I get into a relationship I fully commit to that person so wouldn't have any problem coming off of here.
But I'm not looking for a relationship until after i finish university as I want to focus completely on my studies |
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Technically I don't classify myself as a swinger, particularly because I am single and I classify swinging as a description of a lifestyle choice enjoyed when in a couple. I am someone who enjoys and appreciates exploring open sexuality generally and feel able to enjoy my freedom as a single person without needing to be bound by the limitations set by current society, particularly as a woman.
I certainly don't enjoy these lifestyle choices because I am necessarily incapable of monogamy, nor do I engage in what I do because I feel that monogamy is a less enjoyable or less valid lifestyle choice for me or others. Integrity and honestly are of the highest importance for me in all aspects of my life. I have spoken to many about their reasons for enjoying open sex and although everyone is entitled to live how they want, I find it a bit jarring whenever I hear people admit that they swing or have group sex because they are people that "can't be faithful".
Bearing in mind that being faithful and "not cheating" covers many ideas, one of the most bizarre statements I've ever heard is that "swinging stops cheating" in relationships. Which is simplistic statement in the extreme and ignores the spectrum of human behaviour and motivation, and the fact there are many varied reasons why people are unfaithful, and ways in which people can cheat. I know a few people that have still been cheated on within open relationships, and it has also happened to me. Many couples love swinging and claim it makes them stronger, and that's fantastic. But it's far from a one size fits all remedy for the unfaithful.
The only way in which I personally believe enjoying an open sexual lifestyle could impact on me having a relationship, would be any issues a partner may have in accepting what I have experienced so far. There is strong judgement and prejudice out there particularly for women who enjoy alternative lifestyle choices, and some will wrongly assume I cannot be faithful, and that my sexual experience defines my worth in society, and who I am as a person. But this has more to do with other people's value system and what we are conditioned to judge people on, than how I live my life when single.
Having said all that, I have encountered people who enjoy swinging as a single person to remedy their (often subconscious) issues with faithfulness and commitment, and who's self confidence is in the majority formed and buoyed by their enjoyment of the lifestyle. For some there is a risk that if you have a certain self indulgent, self serving and addictive personality, and you self-value by womanising/man-hunting or the constant pursuit thereof, you will over time gain unhealthy attachments to sex and relationships (and oneself). People who gain pleasure in manipulating for their own gain can also be naturally drawn to alternative and indulgent lifestyles, and swinging is in that category sadly. Many do this with sexual partners outside of swinging too of course!
These people of course will have their own problems and they can and do struggle, but I like to think there are a few of us that have the balance right and are able to enjoy what liberated sexual lifestyle choices have to offer while still valuing what is important about ourselves, other people and life in general. You just have to find them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Technically I don't classify myself as a swinger, particularly because I am single and I classify swinging as a description of a lifestyle choice enjoyed when in a couple. I am someone who enjoys and appreciates exploring open sexuality generally and feel able to enjoy my freedom as a single person without needing to be bound by the limitations set by current society, particularly as a woman.
I certainly don't enjoy these lifestyle choices because I am necessarily incapable of monogamy, nor do I engage in what I do because I feel that monogamy is a less enjoyable or less valid lifestyle choice for me or others. Integrity and honestly are of the highest importance for me in all aspects of my life. I have spoken to many about their reasons for enjoying open sex and although everyone is entitled to live how they want, I find it a bit jarring whenever I hear people admit that they swing or have group sex because they are people that "can't be faithful".
Bearing in mind that being faithful and "not cheating" covers many ideas, one of the most bizarre statements I've ever heard is that "swinging stops cheating" in relationships. Which is simplistic statement in the extreme and ignores the spectrum of human behaviour and motivation, and the fact there are many varied reasons why people are unfaithful, and ways in which people can cheat. I know a few people that have still been cheated on within open relationships, and it has also happened to me. Many couples love swinging and claim it makes them stronger, and that's fantastic. But it's far from a one size fits all remedy for the unfaithful.
The only way in which I personally believe enjoying an open sexual lifestyle could impact on me having a relationship, would be any issues a partner may have in accepting what I have experienced so far. There is strong judgement and prejudice out there particularly for women who enjoy alternative lifestyle choices, and some will wrongly assume I cannot be faithful, and that my sexual experience defines my worth in society, and who I am as a person. But this has more to do with other people's value system and what we are conditioned to judge people on, than how I live my life when single.
Having said all that, I have encountered people who enjoy swinging as a single person to remedy their (often subconscious) issues with faithfulness and commitment, and who's self confidence is in the majority formed and buoyed by their enjoyment of the lifestyle. For some there is a risk that if you have a certain self indulgent, self serving and addictive personality, and you self-value by womanising/man-hunting or the constant pursuit thereof, you will over time gain unhealthy attachments to sex and relationships (and oneself). People who gain pleasure in manipulating for their own gain can also be naturally drawn to alternative and indulgent lifestyles, and swinging is in that category sadly. Many do this with sexual partners outside of swinging too of course!
These people of course will have their own problems and they can and do struggle, but I like to think there are a few of us that have the balance right and are able to enjoy what liberated sexual lifestyle choices have to offer while still valuing what is important about ourselves, other people and life in general. You just have to find them "
That's one hell of a novel you wrote there! But it's also very well explained |
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Ok guys we class ourselves as swayers and not swingers
We do not swap mrs sp is bi and so am i so we play with the same sex . We love the lifestyle and are happy were both in it
Vanilla life is not for us. We have lots of freinds in the scene and it doesn't mean we bang them every night . Freinship is first and we wouldn't be without it xxx |
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By *arah_11TV/TS
over a year ago
Yeadon/Leeds |
I just think that if I was lucky enough to find a woman to be in a relationship with I would want to be honest. I get enough messages from married guys! Being open is a good thing. Each individual relationship is for each couple |
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"Not easy to find a man who'd love a woman who's promiscuous. The idea is attractive at first then jealousy sets in often. I can never be monogamous again."
We do exist... Men who genuinely prefer promiscuous women. I've never been in a relationship with a lady who wanted to be exclusive. But yeah... For a lot of guys it seems fun until they experience it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not easy to find a man who'd love a woman who's promiscuous. The idea is attractive at first then jealousy sets in often. I can never be monogamous again."
I never get jealous. Man should enjoy every moment women do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would love a vanilla relationship where my needs are met by one man... the truth?
I am too fucked up for a relationship I either give them everything and it puts them off or i give them very little and make them think I don't want them. Plus my trust in men is nearly non-existance when it comes to the ability to having a relationship.
I am here because I still enjoy the company of men, it simplifies things because I know I cannot fall for anyone on here. whereas, if I try to date someone I can catch feelings just to realise he is using me for something.
I have come to terms that the only thing men want from me is sex and I am happy to oblige as long as they tick my boxes too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Technically I don't classify myself as a swinger, particularly because I am single and I classify swinging as a description of a lifestyle choice enjoyed when in a couple. I am someone who enjoys and appreciates exploring open sexuality generally and feel able to enjoy my freedom as a single person without needing to be bound by the limitations set by current society, particularly as a woman.
I certainly don't enjoy these lifestyle choices because I am necessarily incapable of monogamy, nor do I engage in what I do because I feel that monogamy is a less enjoyable or less valid lifestyle choice for me or others. Integrity and honestly are of the highest importance for me in all aspects of my life. I have spoken to many about their reasons for enjoying open sex and although everyone is entitled to live how they want, I find it a bit jarring whenever I hear people admit that they swing or have group sex because they are people that "can't be faithful".
Bearing in mind that being faithful and "not cheating" covers many ideas, one of the most bizarre statements I've ever heard is that "swinging stops cheating" in relationships. Which is simplistic statement in the extreme and ignores the spectrum of human behaviour and motivation, and the fact there are many varied reasons why people are unfaithful, and ways in which people can cheat. I know a few people that have still been cheated on within open relationships, and it has also happened to me. Many couples love swinging and claim it makes them stronger, and that's fantastic. But it's far from a one size fits all remedy for the unfaithful.
The only way in which I personally believe enjoying an open sexual lifestyle could impact on me having a relationship, would be any issues a partner may have in accepting what I have experienced so far. There is strong judgement and prejudice out there particularly for women who enjoy alternative lifestyle choices, and some will wrongly assume I cannot be faithful, and that my sexual experience defines my worth in society, and who I am as a person. But this has more to do with other people's value system and what we are conditioned to judge people on, than how I live my life when single.
Having said all that, I have encountered people who enjoy swinging as a single person to remedy their (often subconscious) issues with faithfulness and commitment, and who's self confidence is in the majority formed and buoyed by their enjoyment of the lifestyle. For some there is a risk that if you have a certain self indulgent, self serving and addictive personality, and you self-value by womanising/man-hunting or the constant pursuit thereof, you will over time gain unhealthy attachments to sex and relationships (and oneself). People who gain pleasure in manipulating for their own gain can also be naturally drawn to alternative and indulgent lifestyles, and swinging is in that category sadly. Many do this with sexual partners outside of swinging too of course!
These people of course will have their own problems and they can and do struggle, but I like to think there are a few of us that have the balance right and are able to enjoy what liberated sexual lifestyle choices have to offer while still valuing what is important about ourselves, other people and life in general. You just have to find them "
Excellent post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m looking for the right guy if that then involves swinging so be it but I’m happy in a committed relationship. Whilst waiting for him I may have some fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Given the choice, I'd chose a committed relationship over swinging as a single. Swinging as a couple would be best, but I'd need to catch a unicorn first.
You can see on this thread there are women ready, willing and able here.
That is very true but finding one who you click and get along with is a very different matter unfortunately "
Finding one who's willing to speak to me is vanishingly rare.I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's one hell of a novel you wrote there! But it's also very well explained
I never use 10 words when 100 will do! A propensity of mine I'm afraid  "
Bonus points for "propensity". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Primarily the main reason i'm single is because i'm practically a hermit. I go to work, i look after my kids. That's about it.
I'm sure if i made more effort i could find someone with the patience of a
Saint to take me and my situation on, but i doubt he exists.
So until then, i'm on here for casual
Sex. Should the man of my dreams walk through the door then i'll bin Fab in two shakes.
I'm not a swinger. I'm just a single woman with a neglected flange.
I think the whole internet dating thing has lended itself to more casual relationships. More choice, easier to hook up etc. |
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"Not easy to find a man who'd love a woman who's promiscuous. The idea is attractive at first then jealousy sets in often. I can never be monogamous again."
There are frequently guys on the forums seeking cuckold relationships, and having been in one myself previously I know genuine ones exist |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not easy to find a man who'd love a woman who's promiscuous. The idea is attractive at first then jealousy sets in often. I can never be monogamous again."
Personally am turned on by the idea of my partner being with other guys and knowing what went on at meets.
I would love a open relationship like that.
Finding a female partner like that is difficult. - Mersey69 |
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"Primarily the main reason i'm single is because i'm practically a hermit. I go to work, i look after my kids. That's about it.
I'm sure if i made more effort i could find someone with the patience of a
Saint to take me and my situation on, but i doubt he exists.
So until then, i'm on here for casual
Sex. Should the man of my dreams walk through the door then i'll bin Fab in two shakes.
I'm not a swinger. I'm just a single woman with a neglected flange.
I think the whole internet dating thing has lended itself to more casual relationships. More choice, easier to hook up etc."
That is exactly how I was a few years back .. hard being a mum and still being ‘me’
Lots of singles especially women are in the same situation |
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"Given the choice, I'd chose a committed relationship over swinging as a single. Swinging as a couple would be best, but I'd need to catch a unicorn first.
You can see on this thread there are women ready, willing and able here.
That is very true but finding one who you click and get along with is a very different matter unfortunately "
It seems to me that success in such matters comes when those involved weren’t actively looking. This is what happened to us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am on internet dating sites. My preference is to find a woman who still fucks other men yet I remain faithful, for a proper relationship. I've done it before and the jealousy doesn't set in for me.
However, trying to explain that with potential new partners never works and I haven't found it again yet. One lives in hope. |
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"Technically I don't classify myself as a swinger, particularly because I am single and I classify swinging as a description of a lifestyle choice enjoyed when in a couple. I am someone who enjoys and appreciates exploring open sexuality generally and feel able to enjoy my freedom as a single person without needing to be bound by the limitations set by current society, particularly as a woman.
I certainly don't enjoy these lifestyle choices because I am necessarily incapable of monogamy, nor do I engage in what I do because I feel that monogamy is a less enjoyable or less valid lifestyle choice for me or others. Integrity and honestly are of the highest importance for me in all aspects of my life. I have spoken to many about their reasons for enjoying open sex and although everyone is entitled to live how they want, I find it a bit jarring whenever I hear people admit that they swing or have group sex because they are people that "can't be faithful".
Bearing in mind that being faithful and "not cheating" covers many ideas, one of the most bizarre statements I've ever heard is that "swinging stops cheating" in relationships. Which is simplistic statement in the extreme and ignores the spectrum of human behaviour and motivation, and the fact there are many varied reasons why people are unfaithful, and ways in which people can cheat. I know a few people that have still been cheated on within open relationships, and it has also happened to me. Many couples love swinging and claim it makes them stronger, and that's fantastic. But it's far from a one size fits all remedy for the unfaithful.
The only way in which I personally believe enjoying an open sexual lifestyle could impact on me having a relationship, would be any issues a partner may have in accepting what I have experienced so far. There is strong judgement and prejudice out there particularly for women who enjoy alternative lifestyle choices, and some will wrongly assume I cannot be faithful, and that my sexual experience defines my worth in society, and who I am as a person. But this has more to do with other people's value system and what we are conditioned to judge people on, than how I live my life when single.
Having said all that, I have encountered people who enjoy swinging as a single person to remedy their (often subconscious) issues with faithfulness and commitment, and who's self confidence is in the majority formed and buoyed by their enjoyment of the lifestyle. For some there is a risk that if you have a certain self indulgent, self serving and addictive personality, and you self-value by womanising/man-hunting or the constant pursuit thereof, you will over time gain unhealthy attachments to sex and relationships (and oneself). People who gain pleasure in manipulating for their own gain can also be naturally drawn to alternative and indulgent lifestyles, and swinging is in that category sadly. Many do this with sexual partners outside of swinging too of course!
These people of course will have their own problems and they can and do struggle, but I like to think there are a few of us that have the balance right and are able to enjoy what liberated sexual lifestyle choices have to offer while still valuing what is important about ourselves, other people and life in general. You just have to find them "
Very eloquent and insightful x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not really a swinger ..
I'm just using this site for sex with random men until I find one that I'd like to have a little more with.
I've kind if given up on that happening to be honest.
 |
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