FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How do you turn people down?
How do you turn people down?
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How do you turn people down that you aren't attracted to and have no interest in meeting them? On Fab i mean. We try being polite but some simply don't get the hint and keep pushing and pushing for the meet. Usually, couples where we find one attractive but not the other. |
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"How do you turn people down that you aren't attracted to and have no interest in meeting them? On Fab i mean. We try being polite but some simply don't get the hint and keep pushing and pushing for the meet. Usually, couples where we find one attractive but not the other. "
You don't have to reply and once they start pestering, just block. Blocking is a positive tool of the site, not a negative one. |
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"We generally say something along the lines of "Thanks for your interest but you aren't for us / aren't what we're looking for. Happy swinging"
Not had any abuse so far.
Nita"
That's pretty much what we go with. No real backlash so far, just super determined pushy folk. Guess we will start using the blocky thingy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone has sent a polite, well thought out message, I always reply saying 'thank you for your message, you're not for us I'm afraid' and wish them all the best. If they get pushy, or worse, stroppy, I simply delete their message and block them.
I used to be much more polite and interact with everyone who messaged, but after a few bad experiences with horrible, upsetting messages that got very personal, I'm much more cautious.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's best just to block I find, I do often send a sorry too far away message first but I haven't sent a you're not for me one. I did tell a bloke I met from another site that he was not for me for regular, he was quite upset. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t anymore. Too many delicate flowers on here. So you don't turn any of them down, you sleep with all of them?  "
Yeah. If they’re fit and well hung obviously  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Very politely and hopefully no block required. "
This. 
Not that's I've had to do it often. Although a couple have taken real exception to it! Generally the male half of couples though |
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"I don’t anymore. Too many delicate flowers on here. So you don't turn any of them down, you sleep with all of them?
Yeah. If they’re fit and well hung obviously "
Boyfriend just read your reply over my shoulder and said "She looks nice. Remember to tell her i'm well hung and fit." lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t anymore. Too many delicate flowers on here. So you don't turn any of them down, you sleep with all of them?
Yeah. If they’re fit and well hung obviously Boyfriend just read your reply over my shoulder and said "She looks nice. Remember to tell her i'm well hung and fit." lol "
Just looked over my own shoulder and thought "shes nice" hehe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Turning people down as a single guy is so awkward as people aren't often expecting it. So when you do it often comes as a bit of a surprise to them about they don't always take it well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always try to be honest and polite, and tell them they're not quite what we are looking for, but we always wish them happy swinging. Some people accept it without any problem, others don't. People need to realise that not everyone is attracted to everyone and people need to learn to handle rejection. We all face rejection at some point, it's part of life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you turn people down that you aren't attracted to and have no interest in meeting them? On Fab i mean. We try being polite but some simply don't get the hint and keep pushing and pushing for the meet. Usually, couples where we find one attractive but not the other. "
Evening, I'm not arranging any new meets, enjoy the site x |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
I reply with
"Thank you for your interest but I'm not interested, sorry."
And then I block them.
I'm not going to meet them and I have no interest in potentially leading them on by continuing to talk to them and so giving them hope that I will change my mind, so I block them. Stops the hassle, stops wasting theirs and my time, stops the potential abuse and/or begging.
Simple really. |
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By *wisted2000Woman
over a year ago
under my rock cleethorpes |
I usually say thanks for the attention but I’m afraid I’m not attracted, sorry
Usually I get a no problem and thanks back but some use that to try and start a conversation which I don’t mind except when they keep hinting they want me to meet them still, eventually I just end up blocking  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why reply to people you aren't interested in. That's just inviting a bad response as generally people don't like explicit rejection. "
We feel that if people have gone to the effort of sending face pictures, and especially if we have asked for them, then it's only polite to reply. |
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Having been on here a while now I'm same as many
When I get a message from a new person I check the profile before I even open the message. If it doesn't grab me, delete. Definitely delete if no public pics, veris, decent profile text... Which basically means most are deleted.
If profile ok but message sucks eg "Hi" or a very short sentence or clear cut and paste... Delete
If message ok but 2nd/subsequent messages boring... Delete
If for whatever reason I feel not compatible I say so, politely. And I don't hint I'm crystal clear. Ambiguity helps nobody.
If they become pushy or rude I send one final message saying I found them such, delete and block.
Pushy is rare but happens, unfortunately even rarer but also happens is very rude/aggressive/threatening which I report.
There's no need to accept poor behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don’t anymore. Too many delicate flowers on here. So you don't turn any of them down, you sleep with all of them?
Yeah. If they’re fit and well hung obviously Boyfriend just read your reply over my shoulder and said "She looks nice. Remember to tell her i'm well hung and fit." lol "
He’s not wrong |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
I keep it shirt and sweet 'Thanks for your message but I'm not interested', usually I get a thanks for replying anyway kind of message. Occasionally they ask why, it depends what sort of mood I'm in as to whether I answer that or not! |
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"I keep it shirt and sweet 'Thanks for your message but I'm not interested', usually I get a thanks for replying anyway kind of message. Occasionally they ask why, it depends what sort of mood I'm in as to whether I answer that or not!"
Depends on my mood whether they get a sarcastic answer or not  |
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"I just send thanks for your message but I’m not arranging meets right now. I’ve sent it that many times that my phone predicts the message for me "
Ditto... But always keep it polite if they have made a bit of an effort. If rude simply blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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At first we tried to at least send a reply to people because we were trying to be nice but these days only a select few get a kind rejection because the amount of people who don't read the profile and message you are the ones who usually get ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely a polite thanks but no thanks should suffice. I think the whole blocking thing is a little juvenile unless of course someone still pushes the matter then of course block.
I think my worst ever rejection was someone who asked for people in a 30 mile radius who messaged me back saying that I was 31 miles away, questioned my ability to read and blocked me.. I think I dodged a bullet there |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
"Surely a polite thanks but no thanks should suffice. I think the whole blocking thing is a little juvenile unless of course someone still pushes the matter then of course block.
I think my worst ever rejection was someone who asked for people in a 30 mile radius who messaged me back saying that I was 31 miles away, questioned my ability to read and blocked me.. I think I dodged a bullet there "
I used to not block but then I'd get guys retrying later on. So I sensibly use the tool straight after the first "no thanks" to stop them from wasting their own and my time. Nothing juvenile about using a tool so that there is no risk of having to deal with a guy who may think he is entitled to a fuck. I don't understand why people don't block those they have no interest in meeting or talking to, they must have time to burn. |
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"How do you turn people down that you aren't attracted to and have no interest in meeting them? On Fab i mean. We try being polite but some simply don't get the hint and keep pushing and pushing for the meet. Usually, couples where we find one attractive but not the other. "
Polite thanks but no thanks and block so they can't ask why etc etc |
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"How do you turn people down that you aren't attracted to and have no interest in meeting them? On Fab i mean. We try being polite but some simply don't get the hint and keep pushing and pushing for the meet. Usually, couples where we find one attractive but not the other.
Polite thanks but no thanks and block so they can't ask why etc etc"
That is being a cee u next Tuesday in polite terms |
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"Surely a polite thanks but no thanks should suffice. I think the whole blocking thing is a little juvenile unless of course someone still pushes the matter then of course block.
I think my worst ever rejection was someone who asked for people in a 30 mile radius who messaged me back saying that I was 31 miles away, questioned my ability to read and blocked me.. I think I dodged a bullet there "
Be a woman on here, yes more interest/messages but also a lot more bruised egos to deal with. In addition there's also the men who send the EXACT same message weekly/daily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not one woman has ever responded to a message I've sent and they mainly just delete them without reading so I've given up messaging now tbh!
I've devised a cunning way to avoid having to turn someone down awkwardly. I use my extra-sensory powers to pre-empt when someone is about to message me and then recondition their thoughts to stop them sending it. It's working a treat so far! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you turn people down that you aren't attracted to and have no interest in meeting them? On Fab i mean. We try being polite but some simply don't get the hint and keep pushing and pushing for the meet. Usually, couples where we find one attractive but not the other. "
Just be honest, I’d rather block you for a reason, then if you just strung us along. Don’t take blocking as a insult also, it means a polite understanding that nothing is going to ever happen |
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Adam 