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Couples questions....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s the situation I’m in, sort of, in that my Mrs isn’t into sleep with other men, women yes but not men, so I feel very conscious of what I can of can’t do if we have a play meet, and wouldn’t expect to sleep with the other woman unless all are happy with it being a one way thing. |
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"That’s the situation I’m in, sort of, in that my Mrs isn’t into sleep with other men, women yes but not men, so I feel very conscious of what I can of can’t do if we have a play meet, and wouldn’t expect to sleep with the other woman unless all are happy with it being a one way thing. "
That sounds ackward. Although not your decision to not let her play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, if we are playing with a couple has a couple it's all involved, we aren't massively bothered about the girl girl bit anyway so that wouldn't be our cup off tea |
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For us it’s full swap, seen far too many profiles where couples state female doesn’t swap. We just pass them by, been to clubs where we’ve had thebmale half of couples do all the talking an even try it on, while the female half wouldn’t even consider touching the male half of us. Not our thing |
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"So this for the men... are you happy to "wife swap" with men who wouldn't or won't return the favour ?"
I think for just about everyone that's a straight forward no unless they are into the cuck dynamic or its a club group play scenario and its not immediately obvious.
I think the most common scenarios are couples that claim to have the flexibility to play separately but in reality its just the guy doing it.
That and the so called single guys who wouldn't dream of introducing their partner to the scene even if the partner was ok with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That’s the situation I’m in, sort of, in that my Mrs isn’t into sleep with other men, women yes but not men, so I feel very conscious of what I can of can’t do if we have a play meet, and wouldn’t expect to sleep with the other woman unless all are happy with it being a one way thing. "
Isn't that soft swing ??
Like has been said offer yourselves for cuckold couples ? |
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"So this for the men... are you happy to "wife swap" with men who wouldn't or won't return the favour ?
I think for just about everyone that's a straight forward no unless they are into the cuck dynamic or its a club group play scenario and its not immediately obvious.
I think the most common scenarios are couples that claim to have the flexibility to play separately but in reality its just the guy doing it.
That and the so called single guys who wouldn't dream of introducing their partner to the scene even if the partner was ok with it."
This has been playing on my mind a bit since my other thread about black couples I'll admit. The Dynamic of how my wife and i play usually involving a black guy. However, i feel less happy from the answers on that thread suggesting that if the single black guy had a significant other there is no way he would share. I don't like to feel disrespected, and that way of thinking certainly leaves me feeling as such. "Can i drive your car?" "Yes, if i can drive yours?" "Then no.".  |
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We are a couple with a bi female. She has no objection playing with other males but not full sex. I wouldn’t expect to have full sex with another female who is part of a couple even thought Mrs Brum is happy for me to do so.
If the male of the other couple ask me too then I would. Only had that situation once. ThTs why we only soft swap with couples.
OP does your wife not want to play with other males full stop ? |
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"So this for the men... are you happy to "wife swap" with men who wouldn't or won't return the favour ?"
Yes , very much so .
Why ? Well mainly because I love to see my wife having fun and wouldn’t far rather be left alone to enjoy it . I’ve often said to couples when we meet them that I am totally happy to just watch , so if his wife wants to join them to feel free . If not , and she wants to enjoy watching too that’s cool , but I’m not having my enjoyment spoiled by her trying to get it on with me . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've given this question a bit of thought.
When it comes to couples, I expect everyone to come together equally. Therefore, with other couples, I wouldn't do anything with the other man that Marc couldn't do with the other woman. It's how we're comfortable playing and we find couples who are similar.
With single men it's a bit trickier. I think it then has a lot more to do with motivation. For example, I don't expect every single guy we play with to say they want to swing with their partner. I understand that different couples have different dynamics and that swinging doesn't fit with all of them. But if a guy said something like "I would never be able to let my gf/wife/partner swing" then I feel very differently. I, as the woman in the scenario, wouldn't want to be with that guy because his attitude indicates that he likely sees me as "less than" because I'm doing something his partner would never do. And Marc also doesn't like it because it signifies that he likely sees Marc's place in our relationship as lacking as well. So that would be a no.
I completely get that most people are monogamous and that our relationship is different in that regard. Men who respect our choice to swing, even if they wouldn't, I'm happy to be with. But men who look down on our choice to be non-monogamous but still want a crazy orgy or threesome with us? No, I have no interest in having sex with them (and Marc wouldn't be ok with me having sex with them, either). |
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By *ntnCleoCouple
over a year ago
Dortmund (Germany) might travel! |
"I've given this question a bit of thought.
When it comes to couples, I expect everyone to come together equally. Therefore, with other couples, I wouldn't do anything with the other man that Marc couldn't do with the other woman. It's how we're comfortable playing and we find couples who are similar.
With single men it's a bit trickier. I think it then has a lot more to do with motivation. For example, I don't expect every single guy we play with to say they want to swing with their partner. I understand that different couples have different dynamics and that swinging doesn't fit with all of them. But if a guy said something like "I would never be able to let my gf/wife/partner swing" then I feel very differently. I, as the woman in the scenario, wouldn't want to be with that guy because his attitude indicates that he likely sees me as "less than" because I'm doing something his partner would never do. And Marc also doesn't like it because it signifies that he likely sees Marc's place in our relationship as lacking as well. So that would be a no.
I completely get that most people are monogamous and that our relationship is different in that regard. Men who respect our choice to swing, even if they wouldn't, I'm happy to be with. But men who look down on our choice to be non-monogamous but still want a crazy orgy or threesome with us? No, I have no interest in having sex with them (and Marc wouldn't be ok with me having sex with them, either). "
Problem is there is an obvious right answer to that question if someone wants to get their rocks off, but you won’t know if they are being honest.
I’ve thought exactly the same way. I love to see Cleo pleasured. See her enjoy herself. Throw away her inhibitions. But I wouldn’t want that with anyone who thought less of her for it. Or me for that matter. We make adult decisions and respect is essential. But I presume there must be a lot of guys who just want a shag, would never dream of sharing their partner, but want a taste of mine and probably think less of us for it.
We tend to chat to guys a lot first, otherwise it doesn’t progress. If they can’t be bothered, then they are the wrong guy.
Probably off topic I guess! Sorry OP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've given this question a bit of thought.
When it comes to couples, I expect everyone to come together equally. Therefore, with other couples, I wouldn't do anything with the other man that Marc couldn't do with the other woman. It's how we're comfortable playing and we find couples who are similar.
With single men it's a bit trickier. I think it then has a lot more to do with motivation. For example, I don't expect every single guy we play with to say they want to swing with their partner. I understand that different couples have different dynamics and that swinging doesn't fit with all of them. But if a guy said something like "I would never be able to let my gf/wife/partner swing" then I feel very differently. I, as the woman in the scenario, wouldn't want to be with that guy because his attitude indicates that he likely sees me as "less than" because I'm doing something his partner would never do. And Marc also doesn't like it because it signifies that he likely sees Marc's place in our relationship as lacking as well. So that would be a no.
I completely get that most people are monogamous and that our relationship is different in that regard. Men who respect our choice to swing, even if they wouldn't, I'm happy to be with. But men who look down on our choice to be non-monogamous but still want a crazy orgy or threesome with us? No, I have no interest in having sex with them (and Marc wouldn't be ok with me having sex with them, either).
Problem is there is an obvious right answer to that question if someone wants to get their rocks off, but you won’t know if they are being honest.
I’ve thought exactly the same way. I love to see Cleo pleasured. See her enjoy herself. Throw away her inhibitions. But I wouldn’t want that with anyone who thought less of her for it. Or me for that matter. We make adult decisions and respect is essential. But I presume there must be a lot of guys who just want a shag, would never dream of sharing their partner, but want a taste of mine and probably think less of us for it.
We tend to chat to guys a lot first, otherwise it doesn’t progress. If they can’t be bothered, then they are the wrong guy.
Probably off topic I guess! Sorry OP!"
Yeah, I know it's easy for anyone to lie just to get a fuck. But I personally don't think it's that hard to tell when it's a lie.
Plus, most men we've met have been pretty honest in this regard (on both sides of the spectrum). Even men who never wanted to fuck me have, *I think*, been honest when I've spoken with them about it. I trust my judgement of their truthfulness (although I do accept that they could lie and my judgement could be wrong). |
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"I've given this question a bit of thought.
When it comes to couples, I expect everyone to come together equally. Therefore, with other couples, I wouldn't do anything with the other man that Marc couldn't do with the other woman. It's how we're comfortable playing and we find couples who are similar.
With single men it's a bit trickier. I think it then has a lot more to do with motivation. For example, I don't expect every single guy we play with to say they want to swing with their partner. I understand that different couples have different dynamics and that swinging doesn't fit with all of them. But if a guy said something like "I would never be able to let my gf/wife/partner swing" then I feel very differently. I, as the woman in the scenario, wouldn't want to be with that guy because his attitude indicates that he likely sees me as "less than" because I'm doing something his partner would never do. And Marc also doesn't like it because it signifies that he likely sees Marc's place in our relationship as lacking as well. So that would be a no.
I completely get that most people are monogamous and that our relationship is different in that regard. Men who respect our choice to swing, even if they wouldn't, I'm happy to be with. But men who look down on our choice to be non-monogamous but still want a crazy orgy or threesome with us? No, I have no interest in having sex with them (and Marc wouldn't be ok with me having sex with them, either). "
This is us in a nut shell  |
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"I've given this question a bit of thought.
When it comes to couples, I expect everyone to come together equally. Therefore, with other couples, I wouldn't do anything with the other man that Marc couldn't do with the other woman. It's how we're comfortable playing and we find couples who are similar.
With single men it's a bit trickier. I think it then has a lot more to do with motivation. For example, I don't expect every single guy we play with to say they want to swing with their partner. I understand that different couples have different dynamics and that swinging doesn't fit with all of them. But if a guy said something like "I would never be able to let my gf/wife/partner swing" then I feel very differently. I, as the woman in the scenario, wouldn't want to be with that guy because his attitude indicates that he likely sees me as "less than" because I'm doing something his partner would never do. And Marc also doesn't like it because it signifies that he likely sees Marc's place in our relationship as lacking as well. So that would be a no.
I completely get that most people are monogamous and that our relationship is different in that regard. Men who respect our choice to swing, even if they wouldn't, I'm happy to be with. But men who look down on our choice to be non-monogamous but still want a crazy orgy or threesome with us? No, I have no interest in having sex with them (and Marc wouldn't be ok with me having sex with them, either). "
exactly what this says |
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"I feel a bit uncomfortable with women being almost equated to possessions on some of the posts here...
Such is the nature of swinging i guess. "
I disagree with that - I see swinging as being the complete opposite of "possessing" a partner. Whilst my partner and I both have the power of veto over each other with regard to 3rd parties, we both choose to do this for each other, because we are committed to each other. Neither of us "possesses" the other.
We certainly don't think in terms of "you can have mine if I can have yours".
If my partner had a reciprocated interest in a guy, and his partner wasn't into me or vice versa, I'd probably be ok with that. If the guy himself was exercising a veto or worse, seemed to be in control of his partner, I wouldn't need to say anything. My partner would walk away herself. |
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"I feel a bit uncomfortable with women being almost equated to possessions on some of the posts here...
Such is the nature of swinging i guess.
I disagree with that - I see swinging as being the complete opposite of "possessing" a partner. Whilst my partner and I both have the power of veto over each other with regard to 3rd parties, we both choose to do this for each other, because we are committed to each other. Neither of us "possesses" the other.
We certainly don't think in terms of "you can have mine if I can have yours".
If my partner had a reciprocated interest in a guy, and his partner wasn't into me or vice versa, I'd probably be ok with that. If the guy himself was exercising a veto or worse, seemed to be in control of his partner, I wouldn't need to say anything. My partner would walk away herself."
Mate. I'm usually typing this stuff with one thumb while I'm sat on the toilet. Forgive me if i try to keep my posts concise. |
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We’d be wanting relatively equal play. One couple we spoke to said they were full swap but after chatting it became apparent that the Mrs wasn’t up for much and the Mr would be basically using me to try out all the things his wife wasn’t into. I couldn’t see any of us, other than him, being satisfied with that situation so we ceased chatting. Mrs x |
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"We’d be wanting relatively equal play. One couple we spoke to said they were full swap but after chatting it became apparent that the Mrs wasn’t up for much and the Mr would be basically using me to try out all the things his wife wasn’t into. I couldn’t see any of us, other than him, being satisfied with that situation so we ceased chatting. Mrs x "
Don't blame you |
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