What things do you wish they covered in sex education or when your parents discussed the subject with you?
My son had his sex talk through school today and he said he didn't find it very helpful. I said that later when the smaller kids are gone to bed I'd have a chat with him. He is very mature for his age but I guess I am wondering how much I should say. I was only ever told the basics which was just about intcourse itself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our eldest two are of an age where they are learning more and more about sex education, my only complaint is that they barely cover consent and seem to just focus on the basics, we are quite open with ours but not all families will be to fill in the gaps.
Ginger |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We absolutely didn’t talk about things like this as a family. I left my Mum a note on her pillow to tell her my periods had started and the next day she left me the necessary items on my pillow, so sex was a definite no go area.
School showed a weird animated video that I clearly didn’t listen to, as I walked away thinking girls had a ‘special bottom’ and boys had a peanut!
I ended up having the girl to girl chat with my ex’s daughters as they weren’t comfortable talking to either their Dad or Mum. I did clear that with the ex and his ex first, before anyone tells me I over-stepped the mark. It was nice that they could have a frank discussion and ask ‘embarassing’ questions to someone they trusted. We covered all sorts over the years from periods to what to do about requests for photos and personal safety.
I think we are more comfortable talking about tricky things as adults than our parents could be when we were kids. This can only be a good thing. |
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Our sex ed was absolutely awful and very confusing. Basically they played a vanessa feltz video and then did Q&A. I left with the distinct impression that boys had periods.
They should have covered:
- controlling an ejaculation (i.e. you won't be able to at first)
- that a lot of women don't like their cervix being thumped
- orgasms
- why it feels good up the bum (prostate)
- slut shaming |
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I just thank god I was a precocious reader as a kid with an enquiring mind who liked going to the library to find out about sex because my mum was extremely reluctant to discuss any of 'that'. So much so that the little I forced out of her left me believing for a while that women only ever had *one* period in their whole lives!  I was devastated when I discovered the truth of the matter. I also pointedly and deliberately (once I knew the answer) asked her what a 'sheath' was (the very old fashioned name for a condom for anyone younger than me) and she was absolutely insistent it was 'something you kept your sword in'  ... without a shred of euphemism intended.
I jest ... but actually I still feel angry she put her own embarrassment/prudishness above being responsibly and reassuringly informative, and made me believe sex was 'wrong'. Consequently I've always been totally open with my kids right from a tiny age. I've never had to sit down and have 'the talk' because it's always just naturally been addressed in an age appropriate way as questions arose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We absolutely didn’t talk about things like this as a family. I left my Mum a note on her pillow to tell her my periods had started and the next day she left me the necessary items on my pillow, so sex was a definite no go area.
School showed a weird animated video that I clearly didn’t listen to, as I walked away thinking girls had a ‘special bottom’ and boys had a peanut!
I ended up having the girl to girl chat with my ex’s daughters as they weren’t comfortable talking to either their Dad or Mum. I did clear that with the ex and his ex first, before anyone tells me I over-stepped the mark. It was nice that they could have a frank discussion and ask ‘embarassing’ questions to someone they trusted. We covered all sorts over the years from periods to what to do about requests for photos and personal safety.
I think we are more comfortable talking about tricky things as adults than our parents could be when we were kids. This can only be a good thing. "
I was going to write a constructive reply to this thread but if I'm honest I shouldn't of laughed but after reading special bottom and peanut I'm actually lost for words haha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't remember sex ed at school. Just some weird film about periods. My parents didn't tell me anything.
I had to get books from the library and figure it out for myself. I'm still learning, the forum is educational. |
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I didn't wait for school to do it with my daughter, if she asked I answered. I also made sure over the years at appropriate times to cover bodily autonomy, consent including saying and accepting 'no', talking to me, conception and contraception, normal v abnormal periods, sti's, that it's pleasurable, different types of orgasms, male v female orgasms the whole lot!
As a result she is happy and healthy and protects herself and has been able to advise friends too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was absent on the day our school did sex education, I am told they had to put a condom on a banana. I was there for the giving birth film though, it was a film of a Kangaroo giving birth to its Joey XXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both my kids (both over 18 now) have always been able to ask me questions about sex. Though sometimes it's difficult to gauge how much to reveal... I still find that they are comfortable chatting about it now although sometimes I cringe. I'd always promoted safe sex when they were old enough and I still do..
Occasionally when my son and his friends congregate I find it amusing to listen to their tales and things they'd like to perhaps try...
There's me pure as the driven snow...
I don't remember the sex ed in school I think I bunked off... |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
The 4 things I remember from sex ed -
Watching a video at primary school and wondering why the whole family were walking around naked.
At secondary school being shown how to put a condom on a plastic "penis" and thinking how awkward it looked to do.
Being split up from the boys and having a talk on periods and the teacher having a pad out showing us and then her, and so us, getting embarrassed when another class had to walk through ours to get to the IT room next door.
After the lesson one of the girls asked the teacher what an orgy was, the reply started off as "When a group of people, who love each other very much..." I didn't hear the rest of the reply as I had to walk out before I started laughing.
To be honest I found sex ed to be too basic, too clinical, and in some cases too late. I found out more from friends than I did from teachers. Mum did give me a book though, and it's a shame I can't remember what it was called as I thought it was quite good. It was narrated by a cartoon bird and bee, it was very well done, open minded and informative.
I don't know what children are taught now but I hope it's more about relationships, consent, sexuality, STIs, and the realities of sex, puberty and raising children when you are still a child yourself. Maybe then some of the girls wouldn't have left school already pushing prams, and we wouldn't have had to find out about the real world mostly from rumours and porn. And I wish children were taught more about the realities of being human, not just the clinical biology, about growing up, what you are actually going through, discussing it properly not just "During puberty this, this and this may happen, right next topic".
But then how much do you tell children? How much can you teach children before they are smothered in more bubble wrap because their parents think it's too much? I wish we had been taught more but I know there were some parents who would have gone nuts if their child came home more open minded and realistic about sex than them! I know girls who were bollocked when their parents found they had condoms, when they were 16... It's a hard line to draw  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The 4 things I remember from sex ed -
Watching a video at primary school and wondering why the whole family were walking around naked.
At secondary school being shown how to put a condom on a plastic "penis" and thinking how awkward it looked to do.
Being split up from the boys and having a talk on periods and the teacher having a pad out showing us and then her, and so us, getting embarrassed when another class had to walk through ours to get to the IT room next door.
After the lesson one of the girls asked the teacher what an orgy was, the reply started off as "When a group of people, who love each other very much..." I didn't hear the rest of the reply as I had to walk out before I started laughing.
To be honest I found sex ed to be too basic, too clinical, and in some cases too late. I found out more from friends than I did from teachers. Mum did give me a book though, and it's a shame I can't remember what it was called as I thought it was quite good. It was narrated by a cartoon bird and bee, it was very well done, open minded and informative.
I don't know what children are taught now but I hope it's more about relationships, consent, sexuality, STIs, and the realities of sex, puberty and raising children when you are still a child yourself. Maybe then some of the girls wouldn't have left school already pushing prams, and we wouldn't have had to find out about the real world mostly from rumours and porn. And I wish children were taught more about the realities of being human, not just the clinical biology, about growing up, what you are actually going through, discussing it properly not just "During puberty this, this and this may happen, right next topic".
But then how much do you tell children? How much can you teach children before they are smothered in more bubble wrap because their parents think it's too much? I wish we had been taught more but I know there were some parents who would have gone nuts if their child came home more open minded and realistic about sex than them! I know girls who were bollocked when their parents found they had condoms, when they were 16... It's a hard line to draw "
So well put.. X |
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When kids can happen to come across hard porn within two clicks of a mouse more needs to be said about the difference between porn "actors" being brutal and demeaning to women , and fully enjoyable sex between two or more people full of respect and feeling with as many variations as there are colours in the rainbow |
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