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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
Sometimes you've just got to put yourself forward. I am very shy but if I didn't speak to guys in a club I'd never get shagged!
As for the rest, let it go, move on, and keep trying. There are some ignorant people on here but the majority are gorgeous and horny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet and online "dating"
Funny thing is I get more cold call messages sent to me than replies to first contact messages I send.
And it is like buses, none for ages then to many at once. Maybe I was member profile of the day or something  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
so all clubs should be judged by the one you went to? hmm... did you make an effort to talk to them...
and as for replying.. i take it you reply to every single piece of mail that comes thru your letterbox... and i mean every single piece of junk mail..
no... really.... thats awfully rude of you then??  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Actually, yes, i do reply to all messages. It says that on my profile. If it's a no thanks i'll say that. If you have an experience at a club like that then you just assume it's always like that. Yes i did speak to people and got no more than 2 or 3 word replies. Kinda like here. That defines ignorance |
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As has been said before, do you answer every piece of junk mail that comes through your door? Do you politely thank the cold caller on the phone for their time, but sorry you really aren't interested at this time?
Chances are no.
So as frustrating as it is, what right do you have to a reply? You are basically cold calling.
Get over it, move on.
Tailor your message to those you are speaking to, don't send out copy and paste. It might help improve your rate, but its unlikely.
As for clubs, if you sit in a corner not talking to anyone, then no one is going to make an effort to speak to you. Wander around, talk to people, even about the weather if you have to, just don't launch straight into sex based chat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
We swingers don't think of ourselves as 'ignorant'... just 'selective'. I've never failed to turn up to an arranged meet, and I always chat to the newcomers in a club.
However, I don't reply to every message that I get on Fab, since 99% of messages are from people who haven't read my profile/don't meet what I am looking for. I'm sorry if that comes across as 'ignorant' x |
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Also, a random tip.
If you are wandering around a towel club, or you are just wearing shorts, don't stand and talk to someone who is sat down, unless they are on one of those tall bar stool type things.
If you do, your cock is at her / his mouth / eye level. That is soooo not nice or pleasant. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
you didn't answer my question...
do you reply to EVERY single piece of mail that comes into your home letterbox... every unsolicited piece of junkmail
because whether you like it or not what you are sending to people is actually unsolicited...
if I got 50-100 piece of mail each day.. and people are taking a flyer posting you... i wouldn't answer every single one....
I say to everyone... time,patience and common sense... so for being here 7 days... i don't think to many people that having that outburst that you have showed is giving it time and neither having patience...
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Also, a random tip.
If you are wandering around a towel club, or you are just wearing shorts, don't stand and talk to someone who is sat down, unless they are on one of those tall bar stool type things.
If you do, your cock is at her / his mouth / eye level. That is soooo not nice or pleasant. "
Ooops... so that's where I've been going wrong?? How ignorant of me |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Also, a random tip.
If you are wandering around a towel club, or you are just wearing shorts, don't stand and talk to someone who is sat down, unless they are on one of those tall bar stool type things.
If you do, your cock is at her / his mouth / eye level. That is soooo not nice or pleasant.
Ooops... so that's where I've been going wrong?? How ignorant of me"
If she lunges towads you with her mouth open, you're fine. |
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"Also, a random tip.
If you are wandering around a towel club, or you are just wearing shorts, don't stand and talk to someone who is sat down, unless they are on one of those tall bar stool type things.
If you do, your cock is at her / his mouth / eye level. That is soooo not nice or pleasant.
Ooops... so that's where I've been going wrong?? How ignorant of me"
Ahhhh no, its not ignorant, its just horrid talking to someones cock. Unless I am up close and personal with it, and whispering sweet nothings into it's ear!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"you didn't answer my question...
do you reply to EVERY single piece of mail that comes into your home letterbox... every unsolicited piece of junkmail
because whether you like it or not what you are sending to people is actually unsolicited...
if I got 50-100 piece of mail each day.. and people are taking a flyer posting you... i wouldn't answer every single one....
I say to everyone... time,patience and common sense... so for being here 7 days... i don't think to many people that having that outburst that you have showed is giving it time and neither having patience...
"
I think junk mail is a bit of a bad analogy. It is unsolicited mail, and so is junk email.
However on here you have explicitly joined are advertising for a "job position" as it where so is not really applicable. If you don't want messages block everyone and then make first contact (which I believe allows the recipient to reply). |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
However on here you have explicitly joined are advertising for a "job position" as it where so is not really applicable. If you don't want messages block everyone and then make first contact (which I believe allows the recipient to reply)."
so are you saying that you should reply to every person regardless of whether you fit someones likes or not?? home many times have we hear people complaining about people on "fishing expitiditons" writing... so the junk mail/cold calling analogy is fair and very valid....
my main arguement is if after 7 days this is the anger he brings to a post.. is swinging really for him? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find it funny how most of these threads about replies to mesages are posted by men
You don't see the ladies posting about it, they seem to be better at just chalking it up to experience and moving on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
However on here you have explicitly joined are advertising for a "job position" as it where so is not really applicable. If you don't want messages block everyone and then make first contact (which I believe allows the recipient to reply).
so are you saying that you should reply to every person regardless of whether you fit someones likes or not?? home many times have we hear people complaining about people on "fishing expitiditons" writing... so the junk mail/cold calling analogy is fair and very valid....
my main arguement is if after 7 days this is the anger he brings to a post.. is swinging really for him?"
It is not a valid analogy at all, partly because you dont want the attention of junk mail but still receive it. By putting yourself on a swingers website, you are drawing attention to yourself, in essence you are putting yourself "out there".
Not that anyone has to reply, but the analogy is a false one.
P xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
However on here you have explicitly joined are advertising for a "job position" as it where so is not really applicable. If you don't want messages block everyone and then make first contact (which I believe allows the recipient to reply).
so are you saying that you should reply to every person regardless of whether you fit someones likes or not?? home many times have we hear people complaining about people on "fishing expitiditons" writing... so the junk mail/cold calling analogy is fair and very valid....
my main arguement is if after 7 days this is the anger he brings to a post.. is swinging really for him?"
Yes, but then again I am not a sociopath! And I am sorry but I refute the idea that it is all cold calling. If I put my CV up on a site and get enquiries I reply saying yes or no. If I choose to ignore said enquires then I have to live with the consequences. (People know people etc).
Unless of course the message is unintelligible or offensive.
You can choose to do whatever pleases you, however it does not change the fact it's a bit of a social ignorance to not to be polite to a polite enquiry and as such I usually block people who delete without reply (after a given period), they are not my type of person by action.
YMMV. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody here has actually read my post. I think i will leave it at that. Point proven"
Your point was of physical meets, why should we let that get in the way of a good old slagging match about replying to messages!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nobody here has actually read my post. I think i will leave it at that. Point proven"
We've all read your post, OP, and your profile, and we have evaluated you against our perception of all the single males on here. There are bad single males and there are single males who are GOOD - it's just up to you as to which category you want to fit in to. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"Nobody here has actually read my post. I think i will leave it at that. Point proven
Your point was of physical meets, why should we let that get in the way of a good old slagging match about replying to messages! "
Actually, I did reply to his post. Maybe I just didn't say what he wanted to hear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing you need in abundance if you enter into a swinging lifestyle is tolerance...
Moreover on an internet swinging site...
In the old days it was sending costly letters and not getting replies...
Seems to me peeps walk into the swinging scene and expect things to be easy...lots of free fucks without complications...like anything else it takes time to understand the crack and adjust to the realities... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Nobody here has actually read my post. I think i will leave it at that. Point proven"
I think the point people put across when straight in one ear and went out the other.....
so you are right... why should people try to help you, after all you have been here 7 big long days and have decided you views are right....
in fact.. i think this should now be locked..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
Basically no you don't have to be ignorant to be a swinger. Just patient look around and learn. No not every one is going to reply and if people aren't turning up, your choosing the wrong people.
Many people have very successful meets it can just take time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
so you are right... why should people try to help you, after all you have been here 7 big long days and have decided you views are right....
in fact.. i think this should now be locked.. "
I didn't realise there was a cooling off period when I joined up before people could interact with you?
Bottom line, people inevitably can be arseholes, such is live.
I've also found the secret to attracting women apparently...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
dont bother to reply - its usually females or couples get more mail than most so its not rude for them to reply to ever mail sent to them,
2nd point try other clubs must be more than 1 in your area,
some regs I no dont like newbies as they dont tend to hang around...so yes we did read your post.
best bet is really try to avoid to moan about it. be Patience an just enjoy the site, it wont happen over night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
so you are right... why should people try to help you, after all you have been here 7 big long days and have decided you views are right....
in fact.. i think this should now be locked.. :-
I didn't realise there was a cooling off period when I joined up before people could interact with you?
Bottom line, people inevitably can be arseholes, such is live.
I've also found the secret to attracting women apparently... "
Its a very simple equation
Wisdom = Time on website + Verifications /failed meets
Lol, call the forum police |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...
...
I've also found the secret to attracting women apparently...
Its a very simple equation
Wisdom = Time on website + Verifications /failed meets
Lol, call the forum police "
No it's actually |REDACTED INFORMATION BY MINISTRY OF LOVE| and works amazingly well
ciao |
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
Tosh! What a load of cobblers! We are always happy to talk to newbies at clubs, as for not replying - that's totally different! Get a grip and stop whining! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all after the same thing ( i think ) Fun and Laughter . But like everything you only get out what you put in !! so you need to do your home work ,, talk to lots of people ,, some may just be to busy to chat to you at first but wait and try again later ,, they may have more time and welcome your message or chat ,,,You will attract them same as you put in ! so if you are quick short with a yes no message thats what you tend to get back . If you spend the time to read and lookup what someone likes and dis likes you will get far more from them . Gently , gently ,, Slowly made friends are far more likely to keep friends.And there are a lot of very good funny , and nice people on here .. ( and some very horny ones ) you will be shocked where some of the real friends come from ! lol
just my thourghs
Thanks P |
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"LOL Zoe, your posts are always 'spot on'! LOL"
lol - well, to ask if you 'have to be ignorant to be a swinger'!!! We've met some great people, and love chatting to people in clubs - new or not, but we have found that a lot (but not all) single guys in clubs just sit about, follow couples around and not make much effort to chat to any one! We talk to anyone - it doesn't always mean we will have fun with them but hey - this is a sociable thing to do! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies
Tosh! What a load of cobblers! We are always happy to talk to newbies at clubs, as for not replying - that's totally different! Get a grip and stop whining! Z"
I've missed your posts. Succinct as ever.  |
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies
Tosh! What a load of cobblers! We are always happy to talk to newbies at clubs, as for not replying - that's totally different! Get a grip and stop whining! Z
I've missed your posts. Succinct SD ever. "
I must try to be nicer! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondered.....Do you have to be ignorant to be a swinger? It seems that way. People dont bother to reply or turn up on here and at the 1 and only club i went to, none of the regulars speak to newbies"
christ you've worked all that out after a whole 7 days?
so tell me in you 7 days here how many no show have you had? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Actually, yes, i do reply to all messages. It says that on my profile. If it's a no thanks i'll say that. If you have an experience at a club like that then you just assume it's always like that. Yes i did speak to people and got no more than 2 or 3 word replies. Kinda like here. That defines ignorance"
How many messages do you get? Our couples profile, gets a few a week, my solo one, maybe one or two a month, Boho-J's single one dozens a day. Which is why femals don;t reply.
As for clubs, so you have one bad meal and you assume all restaurents are bad? |
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"you didn't answer my question...
do you reply to EVERY single piece of mail that comes into your home letterbox... every unsolicited piece of junkmail
because whether you like it or not what you are sending to people is actually unsolicited...
if I got 50-100 piece of mail each day.. and people are taking a flyer posting you... i wouldn't answer every single one....
I say to everyone... time,patience and common sense... so for being here 7 days... i don't think to many people that having that outburst that you have showed is giving it time and neither having patience...
I think junk mail is a bit of a bad analogy. It is unsolicited mail, and so is junk email.
However on here you have explicitly joined are advertising for a "job position" as it where so is not really applicable. If you don't want messages block everyone and then make first contact (which I believe allows the recipient to reply)."
If we have an ad we are advertising, if not we are simply members...the analogy is perfect unless u think joining entitles u to a shag. |
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