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Being asked how many men/women you have slept with?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx |
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I honestly have no idea of the answer so could only give an estimate.
I'm not ashamed that its probably higher than the avetage but I don't see how its anybody elses business either.
I suppose it would depend how they asked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive slept with hundreds me, night after night at the bushcraft, feild, and wild camping convention, some right snoring buggers as well as those that talked whilst they slept
We are talking sleeping side by side arnt we, and not havin S.X ? as I did always wonder what one lass really meant when she winked, nodded, and then said that her bush could do with abit of a tidy up one night....... I just thought that she was abit mental, and had something in her eye |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no idea how many people I've slept with.
The fact someone would ask me that would suspect they aren't my kind of person though (assuming this was a prospective partner type scenario) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I honestly have no idea of the answer so could only give an estimate.
I'm not ashamed that its probably higher than the avetage but I don't see how its anybody elses business either.
I suppose it would depend how they asked."
“How many men have you slept with” was the question!!
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no idea how many people I've slept with.
The fact someone would ask me that would suspect they aren't my kind of person though (assuming this was a prospective partner type scenario) "
I'd have to sit down and work it out lol and still wouldn't be 100 % |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I would mind being asked, it's just a question, no different to what car do you drive or where did you go on holidays.
I don't know the answer as I've lost count but wouldn't consider it rude to be asked |
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"I honestly have no idea of the answer so could only give an estimate.
I'm not ashamed that its probably higher than the avetage but I don't see how its anybody elses business either.
I suppose it would depend how they asked.
“How many men have you slept with” was the question!!
Xx"
"Why do you want to know?" would be my answer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think I would mind being asked, it's just a question, no different to what car do you drive or where did you go on holidays.
I don't know the answer as I've lost count but wouldn't consider it rude to be asked "
It's very different to being asked about cars or holidays, in my experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
I'd say...what, last night? This week, month, year, ever?
People ask stupid questions sometimes when they haven't got any idea of what they'd do with the answer... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've never been asked this on here, and if I was, I'd tell them that it's none of their business and the conversation would end there. Anyone asking that sort of question probably isn't the kind of person I want to be intimate with.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
my ex husband asked me and I lied by a big amount and said about 10. He was horrified.. I was thinking thankfully id left off a good few. |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
Just say 1 or 2, you don't have to count the ones where you were to busy fucking to actually get any sleep  |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
So personally, you find this personal
Would you rather it were more.....
impersonal?
Personally, (I think)
That an impersonal wink
Is, personally, an impersonal person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think I would mind being asked, it's just a question, no different to what car do you drive or where did you go on holidays.
I don't know the answer as I've lost count but wouldn't consider it rude to be asked
It's very different to being asked about cars or holidays, in my experience "
Perhaps, but I don't find it any more intrusive or nosey than being asked about how many holidays I've been on or how many cars I've had or other questions of that type, It's just sex, it's nothing odd unusual or different about it, it's just an inquisitive mind at work, and the subject isn't a closely guarded secret or something I'm bothered about discussing, our sexual sides are just as much part of us as any other, nothing odd about talking about it and how many lovers one has had might be a point of interest to some.
I guess to others it's a little more a sensitive subject, but difference makes the world a more varied place I suppose |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were. "
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were.
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet. "
It’s a fair point. And, you’re quite right, it’s getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, some men think your number of partners determines whether you’re a ‘good girl’/‘decent’ or not... and whether you are worthy of respect.
Many archaic men equate these two things.
And of course, by general societal standards.. this judgment doesn’t apply to men.
I’d rather someone were to judge if I was a ‘good girl’ on the basis of my kindness and honour rather than my numbers. |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx
Just say 1 or 2, you don't have to count the ones where you were to busy fucking to actually get any sleep "
That's funny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were.
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet.
It’s a fair point. And, you’re quite right, it’s getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, some men think your number of partners determines whether you’re a ‘good girl’/‘decent’ or not... and whether you are worthy of respect.
Many archaic men equate these two things.
And of course, by general societal standards.. this judgment doesn’t apply to men.
I’d rather someone were to judge if I was a ‘good girl’ on the basis of my kindness and honour rather than my numbers."
Maybe our opposing sexes give us a different angle on the answer to this then and i can see what your driving at...a little food for thought here.
I would say though, those 'some men' would be getting very ignored by me! Let them judge, we can never please everybody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thankfully those i talk to have never asked. I probably wouldn't stay chatting to them either if they did. I moved on from that sort of question when i left college  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were.
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet.
It’s a fair point. And, you’re quite right, it’s getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, some men think your number of partners determines whether you’re a ‘good girl’/‘decent’ or not... and whether you are worthy of respect.
Many archaic men equate these two things.
And of course, by general societal standards.. this judgment doesn’t apply to men.
I’d rather someone were to judge if I was a ‘good girl’ on the basis of my kindness and honour rather than my numbers."
I agree with both of you. Which is why I say it would depend on who's asking and why I think they want to know. I am not ashamed of all my ahem! experience... anyone that is horrified by my number is probably not for me sexually and I'm not for them. Having that discussion is one way to find out. As for the whole "men are studs but women are sluts" thing, oh don't get me started!! Still a surprisingly common view, even on fab it seems |
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"I have no idea how many people I've slept with.
The fact someone would ask me that would suspect they aren't my kind of person though (assuming this was a prospective partner type scenario)
I'd have to sit down and work it out lol and still wouldn't be 100 % "
This! |
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By *i de BiCouple
over a year ago
Leicester |
Funny enough , this question was brought up with the lads at work , as one guy was boasting he had just hit reached 50 girls he has `shagged` .
We told him shagging the GF 48 times didn`t count lol .
So the qustion was put about , most owed up to about 10 partners ........i kept quiet 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were.
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet.
It’s a fair point. And, you’re quite right, it’s getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, some men think your number of partners determines whether you’re a ‘good girl’/‘decent’ or not... and whether you are worthy of respect.
Many archaic men equate these two things.
And of course, by general societal standards.. this judgment doesn’t apply to men.
I’d rather someone were to judge if I was a ‘good girl’ on the basis of my kindness and honour rather than my numbers."
I have asked the question of how many people they have slept with for one reason only, it just sends my imagination into overdrive especially if I look at their profile photos. As for judging people, I don't think any of us on here can judge, we're all here for the same reason |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were.
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet.
It’s a fair point. And, you’re quite right, it’s getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, some men think your number of partners determines whether you’re a ‘good girl’/‘decent’ or not... and whether you are worthy of respect.
Many archaic men equate these two things.
And of course, by general societal standards.. this judgment doesn’t apply to men.
I’d rather someone were to judge if I was a ‘good girl’ on the basis of my kindness and honour rather than my numbers."
 |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
We’ve been asked a few times , by potential playmates , and by people when we’ve met up .
It is a kind of personal question , but then we are on here , and we show our verification summary , so maybe not as personal as it would be if asked in our vanilla life .
We usually say way more than our veris show , as we meet more people not on fab as we do that are . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx
We’ve been asked a few times , by potential playmates , and by people when we’ve met up .
It is a kind of personal question , but then we are on here , and we show our verification summary , so maybe not as personal as it would be if asked in our vanilla life .
We usually say way more than our veris show , as we meet more people not on fab as we do that are ."
Can you hear the horrified *gasp* over the internet when you tell them that?  |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx
We’ve been asked a few times , by potential playmates , and by people when we’ve met up .
It is a kind of personal question , but then we are on here , and we show our verification summary , so maybe not as personal as it would be if asked in our vanilla life .
We usually say way more than our veris show , as we meet more people not on fab as we do that are .
Can you hear the horrified *gasp* over the internet when you tell them that? "
Sometimes we can , but that’s ok as we wouldn’t gel with them anyway .
More often than not we get a positive reaction as most people who contact us on here appreciate the fact that we are likely to turn up and have fun though |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx my ex husband asked me and I lied by a big amount and said about 10. He was horrified.. I was thinking thankfully id left off a good few. "
Why was he horrified? |
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were.
Aren't many questions asked simply to judge?
Why else would people ask about say where you were educated, what you do for work, what you drive, what beliefs you hold, what we would do if X or y happened...we ask questions to build up a picture of a person, see what they are like and if they would make a suitable friend/lover/employee etc etc and this is how we get the measure of each other, by communication
We answer questions like this all day long, hardly registering them but the moment we perceive our sexual side might be judged , we clam up and go quiet.
It’s a fair point. And, you’re quite right, it’s getting to know someone.
Unfortunately, some men think your number of partners determines whether you’re a ‘good girl’/‘decent’ or not... and whether you are worthy of respect.
Many archaic men equate these two things.
And of course, by general societal standards.. this judgment doesn’t apply to men.
I’d rather someone were to judge if I was a ‘good girl’ on the basis of my kindness and honour rather than my numbers.
I have asked the question of how many people they have slept with for one reason only, it just sends my imagination into overdrive especially if I look at their profile photos. As for judging people, I don't think any of us on here can judge, we're all here for the same reason "
I like to ask because i usually follow it up with "which one was the best and why?" As a way to try and tease out the type of sex they like and hence, the type of sex we should have. I also have a working theory that there's a minimum number of partners one needs to have had before they become especially good at sex and i like to test my theory. |
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"The number of Veris are a very poor indicator of sexual numbers.
I often verify people I haven't had sex with. They could be people I have met socially. "
This can be true , and in most cases is .
But not in our case as every veri is from a meet we have had sex with .
Although we have met up with just as many people we haven’t had sex with , we always insist that they don’t verify us if we don’t play .
If they aren’t for us we see no point in saying we met them and felt they weren’t for us for one reason or another . And we don’t do organised or socials in any way shape or form . |
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I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt. |
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt. "
She got a raw deal then  |
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See I wouldn't know how to answer that because I wouldn't know what counts.
Just vaginal penetration?
What about all other stuff, oral, fingering, and so on? If you'd done all that with someone but not had penetration, would that count or not?
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt.
She got a raw deal then "
How so?? |
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I have on occasion asked yes. I'm not ashamed of telling how many I have slept with, which is actually a small number which for some is off putting as I haven't had sex with numbers they would consider as "experienced". I ask as I don't want to meet the town/city bike (male or female). Guess those who have had sex with loads prefer those who have slept with loads and vice versa. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been asked once, outwith fab. Even when I thought I'd got them all I would be driving past somewhere and something would switch in my head and I'd smile and remember something else. In all honesty I don't think I'd matters. Not really. |
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt.
She got a raw deal then
How so??"
Because she neither got an answer nor ended up being the last person you slept with |
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"I have on occasion asked yes. I'm not ashamed of telling how many I have slept with, which is actually a small number which for some is off putting as I haven't had sex with numbers they would consider as "experienced". I ask as I don't want to meet the town/city bike (male or female). Guess those who have had sex with loads prefer those who have slept with loads and vice versa."
What qualifies as the ‘town bike’? |
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"I have on occasion asked yes. I'm not ashamed of telling how many I have slept with, which is actually a small number which for some is off putting as I haven't had sex with numbers they would consider as "experienced". I ask as I don't want to meet the town/city bike (male or female). Guess those who have had sex with loads prefer those who have slept with loads and vice versa."
Such a delightful turn of phrase ‘ town / city bike .... and no it’s not the case that like attracts like as we have met lots of first timers . |
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Yes, I have....it seems to matter to some people. And it can go both ways. Some potential playmates enjoy someone who's slept with lots of people because it might be considered "naughty" and indicates some experience. Others prefer someone who has not slept with lots of people as it might suggest they are choosy.
I never mind answering honestly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There seems to be an assumption on this thread that if someone asks this question they are being judgemental or disapproving. The times that I've discussed this sort of thing with others it's purely been because I enjoy talking about sex and sharing experiences. I also enjoy knowing that I'm not the only one who is promiscuous. Such questions are just part of conversation to me. I don't feel the need to show off about sexual partners, but neither do I feel the need to be secretive or overly private. Having multiple sex partners is as normal to me as a swingers as playing a game of tennis to a tennis player is.
Mrs
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"There seems to be an assumption on this thread that if someone asks this question they are being judgemental or disapproving. The times that I've discussed this sort of thing with others it's purely been because I enjoy talking about sex and sharing experiences. I also enjoy knowing that I'm not the only one who is promiscuous. Such questions are just part of conversation to me. I don't feel the need to show off about sexual partners, but neither do I feel the need to be secretive or overly private. Having multiple sex partners is as normal to me as a swingers as playing a game of tennis to a tennis player is.
Mrs
"
This !!
I don't mind talking about number of sex partners as part of casual even sexy conversation with other men and women it's good fun.
I generally have to say it's an "obscene" number and then give a guestimate because I don't know the exact number. I'm often surprised that there are other girls way more "accomplished" than me but sometimes I've seen jaws drop open when I give that guestimate. But no one is judgemental. Point is that as part of casual conversation this is an OK question to ask.
Now, if this question was part of a job interview I would have a different response ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm astonished the number of times I've been asked this, often by men fairly new to Fab and I do think they are looking to judge. It's a ridiculous question to ask someone on here and I usually tell them 'Millions'. The conversation rarely goes much further. I like the idea of a chain of questions getting them to precisely define 'slept with' tho. It would perhaps make the realise how ridiculous the question is. |
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It depends on the context.
In general chat with swinging friends, I'd be honest and say I really don't know, I don't count. It also depends on what is being counted.
In vanilla life, in most cases, I'd tell them it's none of their business. I might occasionally give my Fab answer... Usually a good way to get rid of creepy guys
Nita |
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"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
In one night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is being fingered sex?
No, i tried claiming that the boost my numbers as a teenager and it wasn't counted"
I'm not counting blow jobs either then.
I wouldn't tell anyone even if I knew the number. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unless you’re talking about moving in together I can’t see how it’s anyones business but yours "
Even then it’s not their business. We all have a past. If pressed for an answer then just say “more than one, but less than a thousand”.... treat it as a joke question by giving a joke answer! |
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To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask. |
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It's not a question that I ask often, but I do prefer promiscuous and experienced ladies. As a long term and committed non-monogamous person myself I certainly never judge.
However, nobody is obliged to answer and it's certainly not a question for the first few messages. |
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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago
Middlesbrough |
"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
Slept with - a couple Had sex with, well the answer is probably different, but never thought to keep a score  |
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt.
She got a raw deal then
How so??
Because she neither got an answer nor ended up being the last person you slept with "
Didnt need to know, like i didnt need to know her past count so i didnt ask. Did it cause us to split up..nope.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt.
She got a raw deal then
How so??
Because she neither got an answer nor ended up being the last person you slept with
Didnt need to know, like i didnt need to know her past count so i didnt ask. Did it cause us to split up..nope.. "
But sometimes it's just interesting to know about the past of someone who is close. Sure nobody needs to know, but if 2 people are close it doesn't need to be a secret either. Same way nobody needs to know who their partners best friends at primary is, but it's nice to build up a holistic picture of someone's life. Sex is just one aspect of life that is fun to talk about.
Mrs |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask. "
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive? "
Questions or conversation openers need to be appropriate to the situation and the individual. Asking about sexual experiences or such like with a fellow swinger, if relevant to the conversation, I wouldn't have thought is a big deal. And it's not like they have to answer.
Mrs |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive? "
My point is just that the question isn't inherently offensive, it's context dependant. |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive?
Questions or conversation openers need to be appropriate to the situation and the individual. Asking about sexual experiences or such like with a fellow swinger, if relevant to the conversation, I wouldn't have thought is a big deal. And it's not like they have to answer.
Mrs "
Personally, I wouldn't be offended at all by the question, but I think most people would, especially women, given the possibility for disapproval. . Hence, I wouldn't ask anyone unless I knew them very well or I knew that they carried it as a badge of pride. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person is asking this question... it’s simply to judge you by the answer.
Complete turn off, I refuse to answer. And in most cases, the entire conversation is over... for good.
I’m more interested in how you had sex with people than how many there were. "
Excellent point.....why ask the question except to make the person feel small by the answer. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
i dont care, i say loads and loads, just to make them feel it was worth asking |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive?
My point is just that the question isn't inherently offensive, it's context dependant. "
Nothing is inherently offensive and it does all depend on context. However, for most people, a question about numbers of sexual partners from someone they don't know very well will be considered offensive.
My point is that comparing a question like that with a question that is obviously inoffensive to most people was silly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Has anyone come across this an been asked how many men/women they have slept with?!
Personally I find it a really personal question!
What are people’s opinions????? What would you say if asked???
Xx "
It is something that we wish we had kept a count of, just for our own interest really,.  |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive?
My point is just that the question isn't inherently offensive, it's context dependant.
Nothing is inherently offensive and it does all depend on context. However, for most people, a question about numbers of sexual partners from someone they don't know very well will be considered offensive.
My point is that comparing a question like that with a question that is obviously inoffensive to most people was silly. "
If i ask you "how long have you known you are a cunt?" That is inherently offensive although you can still choose not to take offence. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask. "
What makes you think they are offended? |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
What makes you think they are offended?"
The responses on the thread... |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive?
My point is just that the question isn't inherently offensive, it's context dependant.
Nothing is inherently offensive and it does all depend on context. However, for most people, a question about numbers of sexual partners from someone they don't know very well will be considered offensive.
My point is that comparing a question like that with a question that is obviously inoffensive to most people was silly.
If i ask you "how long have you known you are a cunt?" That is inherently offensive although you can still choose not to take offence. "
Not at all. It would usually be offensive, but banter between lads? Not necessarily so.
Anyway your original point appeared to be that they fact that you could refuse to answer a question meant it wasn't offensive, hence your comparison with a pretty much always inoffensive question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Unless you’re talking about moving in together I can’t see how it’s anyones business but yours "
I don't see how it is relevant in that context either.
You meet someone, you fall in love, you decide to commit to each other, you decide to move in together because you want to spend time together...
If the number of previous sexual partners is a deal breaker, you probably shouldn't be together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
What makes you think they are offended?
The responses on the thread... "
Maybe it's embarrassment because they only fucked 3 people. |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
People get offended because they take it that the question implies "if it is a number I consider to be too large, I will disapprove" and to be fair it often does imply that.
And on your general point, it's a little silly, I f I may so. If I introduced you, for the first time, to my mum who is in her seventies and your first question to her is "tell me Mrs W, do you like to take it up the arse?" are you saying that because she can refuse to answer the question it isn't offensive?
My point is just that the question isn't inherently offensive, it's context dependant.
Nothing is inherently offensive and it does all depend on context. However, for most people, a question about numbers of sexual partners from someone they don't know very well will be considered offensive.
My point is that comparing a question like that with a question that is obviously inoffensive to most people was silly.
If i ask you "how long have you known you are a cunt?" That is inherently offensive although you can still choose not to take offence.
Not at all. It would usually be offensive, but banter between lads? Not necessarily so.
Anyway your original point appeared to be that they fact that you could refuse to answer a question meant it wasn't offensive, hence your comparison with a pretty much always inoffensive question. "
Not quite. My point was that not much about my life inherently 'the business' of any other member of public so saying the question is "none of your business" doesn't make much sense. |
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"To all the people saying "it's none of their business", do you realise that nobody is obligated to answer any question from a member of the public? My choice of electricity supplier is none of your business either but i won't get offended if you ask.
What makes you think they are offended?
The responses on the thread...
Maybe it's embarrassment because they only fucked 3 people. "
The only time i ever resented the question was as a uni student when my numbers had stalled for a long time. I mean if you can't get laid in a university then you really are doing something wrong... twas embarassing i tell thee |
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"My number with men is zero. If that helps. Well except that one time when gangbangs go wrong...."
At a weekend gangbang, i was fucking a girl from behind, who was in cowgirl with two dicks in her pussy (of which i was one). Logistically the only way to achieve this was that the guy on the bottom had the have his ass quite high and exposed, not far from my ball sack to be precise. During a particularly vigorous part, he looked a bit worried and said "you will be careful to stay in the right hole?" I completely cracked up with laughter and couldn't perform for about 5 minutes. |
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt.
She got a raw deal then
How so??
Because she neither got an answer nor ended up being the last person you slept with
Didnt need to know, like i didnt need to know her past count so i didnt ask. Did it cause us to split up..nope..
But sometimes it's just interesting to know about the past of someone who is close. Sure nobody needs to know, but if 2 people are close it doesn't need to be a secret either. Same way nobody needs to know who their partners best friends at primary is, but it's nice to build up a holistic picture of someone's life. Sex is just one aspect of life that is fun to talk about.
Mrs"
I would be surprised if someone said and was ok with..i slept with 4 people before you.. how many partners have you had? 97... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was asked that a few years ago, i replied im not ok with answering as it didnt matte..and that if im forced to answer then she would not be the last person i sleep with. I didnt answer and she wasnt.
She got a raw deal then
How so??
Because she neither got an answer nor ended up being the last person you slept with
Didnt need to know, like i didnt need to know her past count so i didnt ask. Did it cause us to split up..nope..
But sometimes it's just interesting to know about the past of someone who is close. Sure nobody needs to know, but if 2 people are close it doesn't need to be a secret either. Same way nobody needs to know who their partners best friends at primary is, but it's nice to build up a holistic picture of someone's life. Sex is just one aspect of life that is fun to talk about.
Mrs
I would be surprised if someone said and was ok with..i slept with 4 people before you.. how many partners have you had? 97... "
I personally haven't found it a problem when I've been in relationships where one person has slept with considerably more than the other. Though admittedly if I were single now, I would only date men who were promiscuous like me.
Mrs |
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