FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > best way to introduce a partner to swinging......,
best way to introduce a partner to swinging......,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"any suggestions? Or ways that have worked. Want to pursuade gf to look into joining"
why ? its shou;d always be a joint decision......never something you need to persuade someone to do |
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find your local club, then have a conversation about how you just heard there is a swing club at bla bla bla..
you'l either get
"omg people do that, with several abusive exclamations"
"well each to there own"
or
"ohh that sounds like fun lets go have a look"
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We found out we were both interested when pissed and had a conversation about a pretty blond that worked for me..
I would say the upside doing while in that condition in hindsight would be you both can prentend it never happened and if it's a yes happy days.
And the good news we did play with her and still do..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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my idea was to talk to her about dogging and hopefully she likes that and then go from there. Or webcam with people to ger used to being watched
Sounds like a plan getting d*unk but she doesnt drink. |
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"my idea was to talk to her about dogging and hopefully she likes that and then go from there. Or webcam with people to ger used to being watched
Sounds like a plan getting d*unk but she doesnt drink."
Thats blows our idea, on the dogging front, that is a def yes or know, asking if she fancies another fem, or going to a swingers party is a bit less intense, also us included we find that a tad tacky and sorded.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me and my partner just started talking about fantasies and it all kinda went from there. i was suprised to see how intrested he was and he was shoocked (in a good way) that i was so intersted. Signed up for fab set the ground rules and found out exsactly what we do and do not want to do. Haven't looked back since. Relationships gone from strengh to strengh xxx |
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"Me and my partner just started talking about fantasies and it all kinda went from there. i was suprised to see how intrested he was and he was shoocked (in a good way) that i was so intersted. Signed up for fab set the ground rules and found out exsactly what we do and do not want to do. Haven't looked back since. Relationships gone from strengh to strengh xxx"
This ^^^^^
Fantasies are the start, stop imposing yours on her and find out what hers are.
We started, many many years ago, cos i admitted i found the dea of watching 2 men horney ,i had an Another Country fetish   |
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I agree with the advice here too - maybe jumping straight intop dogging, especially with the way its percieved to the general public is probably not a great idea.
There is no "magic" question or statement and I suspect wont happen over night.
I'd suggest, liek others said build, things into fantasy while you're actually having sex - like wispering little things about what you'd like to do or, "wouldn't it be sexy now if xxxxx" and as with the drink - you can still put that down to heat of the moment
We started off talking LOTS - and then I said I'd look into things online... just for research purposes and then when we were in a hotel having a night together and we'd ahd a few drinks I said I'd show here what I'd found...
30 mins later we were both naked shagging for our lives on an open cam session!
It went from there. Keep the diaglogue light and fun, and never as though thats what you REALLY want to happen... no pressure..
Either she will or she wont, but this I suspect is definately something that should be approached liek stalking a wild animal... with care, very softly, and with a lot of failure before you actually catch it!
Oh - and just be ready for if you do catch it - the last 6 months has been a hell of a ride!!!
Cheers
D&K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Introduce her to fabs we are all a friendly bunch. Socials with no pressure is good too but key is to communicate maybe do fantasy wish lists and compare and discuss. But being d*unk and swinging does not mix. |
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"I agree with the advice here too - maybe jumping straight intop dogging, especially with the way its percieved to the general public is probably not a great idea.
There is no "magic" question or statement and I suspect wont happen over night.
I'd suggest, liek others said build, things into fantasy while you're actually having sex - like wispering little things about what you'd like to do or, "wouldn't it be sexy now if xxxxx" and as with the drink - you can still put that down to heat of the moment
We started off talking LOTS - and then I said I'd look into things online... just for research purposes and then when we were in a hotel having a night together and we'd ahd a few drinks I said I'd show here what I'd found...
30 mins later we were both naked shagging for our lives on an open cam session!
It went from there. Keep the diaglogue light and fun, and never as though thats what you REALLY want to happen... no pressure..
Either she will or she wont, but this I suspect is definately something that should be approached liek stalking a wild animal... with care, very softly, and with a lot of failure before you actually catch it!
Oh - and just be ready for if you do catch it - the last 6 months has been a hell of a ride!!!
Cheers
D&K"
Not all women want to be stalked  |
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By *riseeTV/TS
over a year ago
MacKay |
As she is your girl friend and that means you have a new relationship or you'd call her your wife,
why the hell do you want her to fuck other men when you are just starting your relationship?
Is your sex life that bad already that you need to ditch her for another chick?
Come on, mature a little and instead of spending time on this site and with other women, devote some time your girlfriend.
Sheesh. |
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Mentioned this before... it worked for us, so might help. We were watching a 'Swinger' DVD filmed in La Chambre in bed one night, and decided we'd like to give it a try, so went there next Saturday night. It was fun so we went once a month for the next couple of years. Things went cautiously - first soft-swing swap was on out second visit, first full swap was a few months later, first separate room swap the visit after that, first GB a couple of months after, first home 4some after a year.. and so on. Think it's best not to rush things and make sure you're both happy before plunging in for a full swap. |
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"As she is your girl friend and that means you have a new relationship or you'd call her your wife,
why the hell do you want her to fuck other men when you are just starting your relationship?
Is your sex life that bad already that you need to ditch her for another chick?
Come on, mature a little and instead of spending time on this site and with other women, devote some time your girlfriend.
Sheesh."
I'm surprised at you Prisee. Suggesting that couples only get into swinging when the sex is so bad.
You usually give sound advice, but you got it very wrong this time...
OP if you've been with her for 2 years, why can't you talk to her. You know, you flap your gums and sound comes out. Communication. If you can't do that now, you shouldn't be considering swinging!
*Her* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As she is your girl friend and that means you have a new relationship or you'd call her your wife,
why the hell do you want her to fuck other men when you are just starting your relationship?
Is your sex life that bad already that you need to ditch her for another chick?
Come on, mature a little and instead of spending time on this site and with other women, devote some time your girlfriend.
Sheesh.
I'm surprised at you Prisee. Suggesting that couples only get into swinging when the sex is so bad.
You usually give sound advice, but you got it very wrong this time...
OP if you've been with her for 2 years, why can't you talk to her. You know, you flap your gums and sound comes out. Communication. If you can't do that now, you shouldn't be considering swinging!
*Her*"
+1
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"any suggestions? Or ways that have worked. Want to pursuade gf to look into joining"
Easy this one, wait until she goes out, and then pretend you are a single male on a swingers site. Attract a lady round to your house and have a little fun, when the wife walks in and catches you at it say "Fancy Swinging?"
I reckon that might work........  |
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"As she is your girl friend and that means you have a new relationship or you'd call her your wife,
why the hell do you want her to fuck other men when you are just starting your relationship?
Is your sex life that bad already that you need to ditch her for another chick?
Come on, mature a little and instead of spending time on this site and with other women, devote some time your girlfriend.
Sheesh."
really ?  |
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Goto a club without the intention of playing with the aim of just having fun on your own with her or getting turned on by what others are doing in the same enviroment.
Don't even intimate that you want to do anything with anyone else (Lots of people in clubs or on the scene dont anyway)
Don't go on a mission to play with others, way too many people make that an objective every time they goto a club (Let alone on the first visit) which frequently leads to them feeling disappointed.
If she likes it go again, but always view anything that happens with anyone else as a bonus. At the very least it will probably make your own sex life more exciting even if its just with the two of you.
Taking her dogging is probably the worst route to go, not too mention dangerous. |
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"As she is your girl friend and that means you have a new relationship or you'd call her your wife,
why the hell do you want her to fuck other men when you are just starting your relationship?
Is your sex life that bad already that you need to ditch her for another chick?
Come on, mature a little and instead of spending time on this site and with other women, devote some time your girlfriend.
Sheesh.
I'm surprised at you Prisee. Suggesting that couples only get into swinging when the sex is so bad.
You usually give sound advice, but you got it very wrong this time...
OP if you've been with her for 2 years, why can't you talk to her. You know, you flap your gums and sound comes out. Communication. If you can't do that now, you shouldn't be considering swinging!
*Her*"
Tbh i spot a prude at 1000 paces,so i wasnt surprised. Some ppl just click, they have trust and explore from the very beginning. i was sharing my fantasies with kev within a few weeks, within months we made them real. |
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