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Social First ????
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
Lately I've found that most men don't want to have a social,it's madness if you ask me but we're all different  |
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We always meet socially first. However we don't feel that those who don't are wrong, it's all about what works for the individual.
If someone doesn't want to meet you socially it just means you aren't right as casual sex partners.
I think there are pros and cons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social first is a must!
What if they look nothing like their pics or there is zero chemistry when you meet in person??
And that applies both ways, guys outnumber girls on here by about 500 to 1 (it often feels like  )
You'd think they'd be a bit smarter about it xx |
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"Social first is a must!
What if they look nothing like their pics or there is zero chemistry when you meet in person??
And that applies both ways, guys outnumber girls on here by about 500 to 1 (it often feels like )
You'd think they'd be a bit smarter about it xx"
It is much easier to walk away from a social than a meet where you've agreed that sex might happen. A lot of people hear "will" if you say "might". But I think everyone should realise that no meet is a guarantee of sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
im all for socials unless at a club |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We usually have a social first but honestly there have been times where we don’t and we’ve had a great time.
I’ve met with people on my own and not had a social first...it’s a rare thing tho x
MrsK |
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"Wow that’s pretty unanimous lol. Thank you all my
Mind was made up
Anyway but just wanted to see what public opinion was . Ta xx"
When it comes to the way you go about things in swinging I don't think it matters what the majority opinion is. In my opinion you're right to stick to your guns  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to meet for a social first if its practical to do so.
If I've travelled then its likely to be a play date but I'd always make it clear we'd go for a drink first and nothing else is guaranteed. |
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"Social unless I'm at the club. However if social goes well, then I'm fine with going back to hotels after  "
Oh yes .. nothing better than seeing them walk across the car park and thinking "ooh yummy yep I'm in" and can be frustrating when you have to wait till an appropriate time to rip their clothes off! But never the less for me it's a must x |
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Social first definitely.
I've had a couple that have then gone further, but on both occasions I'd already spent a long time chatting, messaging, phone calls, so we'd already made a connection.
I've walked away from more socials knowing it won't go any further than I can count.
If someone refused to meet for a coffee & chat first then it's an instant no. I'm not intrested in instashags. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That would not be possible with me, unless you're the one who wants to travel that far for a cuppa "
If your cuppas are as good as your pics, I'm up for it  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
I have never asked for a social meet first. I've done alright and never come to any harm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We always meet socially first. However we don't feel that those who don't are wrong, it's all about what works for the individual.
If someone doesn't want to meet you socially it just means you aren't right as casual sex partners.
I think there are pros and cons."
"If someone doesn't want to meet you socially it just means you aren't right as casual sex partners"
That's a strange thing to say. I've had some great casual sex partners who I never met socially!! Still have!!
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
There is no right or wrong way to meet. It all boils down to what works for each individual.
If you want a social meet and someone else doesn't, then your just not compatible with each other.
We don't have a set rule. We've had social meets first, 'see how it goes' type meets and jumped straight in meets. Just depends on who and our free time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think everyone has certain guidelines they follow in life and some can be neogated and some cant
Social before play on fab
safe sex
and dont accommodate 1st few meets (yours or i dont go to theirs) are mine non negotiable ones |
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"Yup we always say social first.
We've only ever had 1 social and nothing else, mind you, but still it's something we say lol"
I think the exception would be if one party is travelling very far, but even then we'd want to go for a drink and chat before then heading to an "appropriate location" for more fun. |
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
why would they we always have a social first get to know what they are like etc
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question "
Not really, I was asking why people think this! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I like to meet for a social first if its practical to do so.
If I've travelled then its likely to be a play date but I'd always make it clear we'd go for a drink first and nothing else is guaranteed. "
This totally - only slight exception would be if we were meeting at a club, but even then, would be drinks in the bar and a chat first, and I'd have to have a fair idea that it would be likely to progress before agreeing to it. |
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"i think everyone has certain guidelines they follow in life and some can be neogated and some cant
Social before play on fab
safe sex
and dont accommodate 1st few meets (yours or i dont go to theirs) are mine non negotiable ones "
 |
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"Social first definitely.
I've had a couple that have then gone further, but on both occasions I'd already spent a long time chatting, messaging, phone calls, so we'd already made a connection.
I've walked away from more socials knowing it won't go any further than I can count.
If someone refused to meet for a coffee & chat first then it's an instant no. I'm not intrested in instashags. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question
Not really, I was asking why people think this!"
The lack of understanding why people prefer to meet socially first is why one might not be compatible with those who prefer to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do both, sometimes I meet without a social for sex , other times I want a social. I find men think a social means I will play with their cocks in their cars. They end up disappointment as if I am meeting for coffee that's all they are getting. A photo and some chat is a must though, if not doing a social XXX |
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"We always meet socially first. However we don't feel that those who don't are wrong, it's all about what works for the individual.
If someone doesn't want to meet you socially it just means you aren't right as casual sex partners.
I think there are pros and cons.
"If someone doesn't want to meet you socially it just means you aren't right as casual sex partners"
That's a strange thing to say. I've had some great casual sex partners who I never met socially!! Still have!!
"
I should have said "you aren't compatible as casual sex partners" . The rest of my post says that I don't think those who don't meet socially are wrong. |
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question
Not really, I was asking why people think this!"
Because your requirements are different therefore you aren't compatible. It's entirely possible that you might be compatible sexually but you wouldn't be compatible overall. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?"
"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
Because it’s about safety. If a guy or couple aren’t prepared to meet me in a public place and prove you are who you’ve said you are then you clearly don’t care about my feelings of safety
Before you go off on one again this comes from more than one guy sending a series of pictures and videos over the space of a well or so of talking and it is not actually the person at all.
It’s my choice a social meet if not interested then move on. I don’t know why you had to make a big deal about it. If you don’t like this way then that’s your choice which I respect and like I said differing views which aren’t compatible. I can’t force someone to meet me socially in the same way they can’t force me to meet them for sex "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
Social first is best way, as it tends to sort the serious/genuine people out - also if you make it clear that Social means its public ie; coffee shop/restaurant/pub - stay safe and that goes for men and women alike |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say it's unacceptable, but it's not usually needed, for me. If I have to have a social to see if there's attraction I'm not already attracted to them, and probably won't be, in person. I've tried it a few times and I was correct. |
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question
Not really, I was asking why people think this!"
If both want a social, great. If both don't want a social, again great. You are definitely all on the same page.
If one insists on a social first and the other definitely doesn't want a social first and you can't agree then you are obviously not compatible. Both parties in this instance should just move on. |
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We don't enjoy socials, we both arnt good with small talk and rarely find people with interests same as ours . We are here for sex aslong as the other party look like their pics and everything is safe we prefer to swap there and then.
Few occasions such as meeting a single female we accept social first as we understand they may feel unsafe otherwise and normally that's done with kitty in a coffee shop to ensure things are ok.
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"I was exploring a certain type of play with someone from here and had four socials before anything happened, we did have a lot to explore though... "
Same for us. We wouldn't expect a single man to allow two complete strangers to tie him to a chair without meeting us more than once socially. |
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"Social first is a must!
What if they look nothing like their pics or there is zero chemistry when you meet in person??
And that applies both ways, guys outnumber girls on here by about 500 to 1 (it often feels like )
You'd think they'd be a bit smarter about it xx"
i totally agree, social is so much better, had a few meets where really didnt want to go any futher, so for me social first, plus it makes the meet a little hotter if there is attraction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was exploring a certain type of play with someone from here and had four socials before anything happened, we did have a lot to explore though...
Same for us. We wouldn't expect a single man to allow two complete strangers to tie him to a chair without meeting us more than once socially. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A social first is non negotiable for me. I don't think you really know if your attracted to someone until they are in front of you.
"
This, and I've usually chatted for some time even before suggesting a social. |
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"Wow that’s pretty unanimous lol. Thank you all my
Mind was made up
Anyway but just wanted to see what public opinion was . Ta xx
When it comes to the way you go about things in swinging I don't think it matters what the majority opinion is. In my opinion you're right to stick to your guns "
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s the way we try to meet guys but think there free time they can escape partners is very limited so most likely won’t turn up ,they seem to only have free time for a shag and go lol |
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If I'd not already seen someone in the flesh, e.g. on a previous club visit, then yes, I'd want a social first just to make sure I felt at ease and that their real life attractiveness matched up to their photos. Though if we'd been chatting for a while I'd probably be hoping it'd progress further and would have contingency plans for that event!
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?! |
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There's no rules here. We generally use a different site for meets and couples profiles carry a bit more content, better pictures and validations count for a lot. We're not generally wrong when we get a gut feeling and following communication and phonecalls we are happy to meet to play. If there's any niggling doubt then we'll simply arrange to meet at a club. That said it makes sense to meet somewhere for a drink first and have a plan B like club visit if we choose not to play or vice versa. This is based on very limited opportunities to play and a social before play is not always an option. If meeting a single lady for the first time then her choices are fully respected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?! "
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious. |
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"There's no rules here. We generally use a different site for meets and couples profiles carry a bit more content, better pictures and validations count for a lot. We're not generally wrong when we get a gut feeling and following communication and phonecalls we are happy to meet to play. If there's any niggling doubt then we'll simply arrange to meet at a club. That said it makes sense to meet somewhere for a drink first and have a plan B like club visit if we choose not to play or vice versa. This is based on very limited opportunities to play and a social before play is not always an option. If meeting a single lady for the first time then her choices are fully respected. "
Makes perfect sense to me thanks you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our view is slightly different. The standard approach is that there should be a social as a way of checking the person out and assessing for attraction. That is of course important, but what about subsequent meets? Does that mean a social is not required going forward?We do a social simply because a social is fun, therefore we expect a social element for every meet. We've never had any difficulty finding men to join us. If anything our friendship style approach encourages loyalty in the sense that we rarely get messed about, and we always get repeat meets. Obviously there are plenty who would avoid us like a barge pole, but that doesn't matter as we have enough to be getting on with on the swing scene.
Mrs |
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"Our view is slightly different. The standard approach is that there should be a social as a way of checking the person out and assessing for attraction. That is of course important, but what about subsequent meets? Does that mean a social is not required going forward?We do a social simply because a social is fun, therefore we expect a social element for every meet. We've never had any difficulty finding men to join us. If anything our friendship style approach encourages loyalty in the sense that we rarely get messed about, and we always get repeat meets. Obviously there are plenty who would avoid us like a barge pole, but that doesn't matter as we have enough to be getting on with on the swing scene.
Mrs"
Well said |
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?!
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious. "
Well, not doing socials obviously works for you . I was just idly wondering whether or not *some* of those who won't do socials are the same people who moan about not getting meets? And if they are, then surely it makes sense to maximise your opportunities by putting yourself out there for a social first. I didn't suggest the OP changes her approach as I didn't get the impression she was lacking in meets, rather she was canvassing opinion to see how common socials first were. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m very definitely in the Social first camp, others are not and that’s their prerogative. My problem is real life taking over. For example, I happily bumped into one of my hotlist at a social AGES ago, but we both have real lives, jobs and/or sprogs so the booby squeezes haven’t happened. Yet.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
Not at all we usually do a social first so wouldn’t be offended if it was asked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?!
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious.
Well, not doing socials obviously works for you . I was just idly wondering whether or not *some* of those who won't do socials are the same people who moan about not getting meets? And if they are, then surely it makes sense to maximise your opportunities by putting yourself out there for a social first. I didn't suggest the OP changes her approach as I didn't get the impression she was lacking in meets, rather she was canvassing opinion to see how common socials first were."
Yeah that's fair enough. I was just pondering really. |
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I only ever do socials just as well as last 3 new meets been awful. 2 lied about their age big time and last one was very vocal in my local of what he wanted us to get up to. Needless to say polite but left fairly quick on each meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?!
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious.
Well, not doing socials obviously works for you . I was just idly wondering whether or not *some* of those who won't do socials are the same people who moan about not getting meets? And if they are, then surely it makes sense to maximise your opportunities by putting yourself out there for a social first. I didn't suggest the OP changes her approach as I didn't get the impression she was lacking in meets, rather she was canvassing opinion to see how common socials first were."
I think there are some men who would rather sit at home and wank that have to endure the time time and expense of a round of drinks prior to sex. Maybe it sounds too 'date' like for their liking. Maybe they left the dating sites into order to avoid that?
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m adamant that a social is a pre requisite to a sexual meet and this has hindered my opportunity to meet at least one fabber. But it is what it is and I’m not able (or prepared) to be flexible on this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me a social is about both/all parties ensuring they are happy with everything and may want to take things further. If they don't it is the opportunity to end it there, no obligations. Personally I wouldn't agree to a first meet where sex was a condition of meeting.My first social we clicked straight away (we had already chatted for a long time)and went no further than a nice snog purely because there wasn't the opportunity |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
"
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious. "
We’re the same, as you may already know. We tend to stick to active members with recent pics and are recently verified and we’ve not been wrong yet, not once! You can find out quite a bit via this site, plus we both get off on the first sight, the butterflies/anticipation and the meet all at once which we don’t get when a social has been involved. Different strokes for different folks. |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
What you require yourself should never be questioned. For those that find it unreasonable or unacceptable then maybe they are not for you. A social meet is definitely a brilliant way to see if the connection is there is person. Also, with old pictures and sneaky camera angles it is always a good check to ensure they are the same person/people :D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question
Not really, I was asking why people think this!
The lack of understanding why people prefer to meet socially first is why one might not be compatible with those who prefer to."
I give up! |
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question
Not really, I was asking why people think this!
The lack of understanding why people prefer to meet socially first is why one might not be compatible with those who prefer to.
I give up!"
I answered this earlier in the thread and gave an explanation as to why people might think they were incompatible. Perhaps you missed it.
"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
You answered your own question
Not really, I was asking why people think this!
If both want a social, great. If both don't want a social, again great. You are definitely all on the same page.
If one insists on a social first and the other definitely doesn't want a social first and you can't agree then you are obviously not compatible. Both parties in this instance should just move on."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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there are thousands who dont do the social first..but that doesnt mean they arent social.
Personally, I prefer it as a mix..I dont want a meet to then talk about a meet thats about having sex the week after.
set the date/time, meet, have a laugh, then shag.
*not saying I'm against a purely social meet...but I've rarely dones them in many years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
I always insist on a social first - nothing worse than feeling under pressure. If they don't want to then I wouldn't meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had the odd social but find most people prefer to start a meet with a social element then go on to play on the same meet. Rare that I've had a social that is purely a social but I wouldn't object to one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it just me that's never actually had a social then? 
Nope. we're just rare in the world of forum "
lol..I'd travel a good few hundred miles to meet you...just for a coffee.
aye right..get bent over that coffee table right now! |
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By *ewrocksWoman
over a year ago
button moon |
"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?"
Thy dont mean you. The comment was in reference to the op. If they dont meet socially, when she wants to, then they are not compatible. 
At least thats how i read it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?!
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious. "
She didn't say it doesn't work for her, so why should she change?
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Do what feels right. If you want to have socials first then stick to it.
As a couple we always ask for a social first as there are 4 people who have to be happy to proceed and that can be a tricky. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming..."
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?!
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious.
She didn't say it doesn't work for her, so why should she change?
"
I didn't say she should  |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming...
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting.
"
What about if they'd booked a hotel room? I'm guessing some men might have expectations if that were the case?
I think you've been extremely fortunate!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming...
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting.
What about if they'd booked a hotel room? I'm guessing some men might have expectations if that were the case?
I think you've been extremely fortunate!! "
No I haven't been fortunate. I am just very astute and I take my time and I listen to any niggle I have and don't meet if I have any doubt. Hotel room makes no difference. Everyone I meet I'd be comfortable enough to say if I ever did find I was wrong about them. They know there are no guarantees. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming...
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting.
What about if they'd booked a hotel room? I'm guessing some men might have expectations if that were the case?
I think you've been extremely fortunate!!
No I haven't been fortunate. I am just very astute and I take my time and I listen to any niggle I have and don't meet if I have any doubt. Hotel room makes no difference. Everyone I meet I'd be comfortable enough to say if I ever did find I was wrong about them. They know there are no guarantees."
I meant fortunate in that you've never been wrong about anyone in 5 years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming...
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting.
What about if they'd booked a hotel room? I'm guessing some men might have expectations if that were the case?
I think you've been extremely fortunate!!
No I haven't been fortunate. I am just very astute and I take my time and I listen to any niggle I have and don't meet if I have any doubt. Hotel room makes no difference. Everyone I meet I'd be comfortable enough to say if I ever did find I was wrong about them. They know there are no guarantees.
I meant fortunate in that you've never been wrong about anyone in 5 years "
Yes I know. I don't see it as fortunate. It's all in the preparation stages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I do wonder however how successful those who don't do socials are? If you're getting meets without them and you're comfortable with that, then great. But anyone who refuses to consider them yet at the same time bemoans their luck in meeting is surely shooting themselves in the foot?!
I don't do socials and have never been wrong about any of my meets. The attraction has always been there as I knew it would be and I'm not in a position to bend my way of doing things just to get a meet. In fact there's a guy that I've been chatting to for ages that I would have met a long while ago who insists on a social. I can't be flexible in my stance so we won't meet. I'm interested that you think that those moaning about not getting meets who don't do socials should change their ways? I don't hear anyone telling the op she should change her ways? Just curious.
She didn't say it doesn't work for her, so why should she change?
I didn't say she should "
I didn't say you did |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming...
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting.
What about if they'd booked a hotel room? I'm guessing some men might have expectations if that were the case?
I think you've been extremely fortunate!!
No I haven't been fortunate. I am just very astute and I take my time and I listen to any niggle I have and don't meet if I have any doubt. Hotel room makes no difference. Everyone I meet I'd be comfortable enough to say if I ever did find I was wrong about them. They know there are no guarantees.
I meant fortunate in that you've never been wrong about anyone in 5 years
Yes I know. I don't see it as fortunate. It's all in the preparation stages. "
I do!! I think I do all the right prep....just for a bloody social. Then they open their mouths/slurp their drink/or I notice their shoes   and I just go 'nope' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So....mainly for the single ladies. Say you've been chatting a while, you meet for sex and you don't feel it? You just walk away?
Seems a bit risky to me!! Not risky like 'that' just time consuming...
I would yes. Maybe then I'd just have a social
I don't really see it as risky though as I've not been wrong about someone in the 5 years I've been meeting.
What about if they'd booked a hotel room? I'm guessing some men might have expectations if that were the case?
I think you've been extremely fortunate!!
No I haven't been fortunate. I am just very astute and I take my time and I listen to any niggle I have and don't meet if I have any doubt. Hotel room makes no difference. Everyone I meet I'd be comfortable enough to say if I ever did find I was wrong about them. They know there are no guarantees.
I meant fortunate in that you've never been wrong about anyone in 5 years "
Have to admit we've never got it wrong either in the 3 years of using Fab. That's why for us a social is because it's fun, not because we need to check them out.
Mrs |
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"I always ask for a social meet first but it seems some feel that is unacceptable...... am I alone in this thinking ???"
Can't see a problem with it myself, as it takes the pressure of when the fun begins. Also you can see if there is a connection there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social meet first every time!
There has to be a connection, even if it ends in just a good night chatting and having a good laugh, doesn’t mean if there’s no connection that you can’t have a great night socialising xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think it would be thought unacceptable at all. It would depend for me how far I would be travelling for the meet and how well I'd done my homework beforehand as to whether we needed one. Quite happy to do them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why people are saying "If you don't meet socially first you are not compatible". Why?
Thy dont mean you. The comment was in reference to the op. If they dont meet socially, when she wants to, then they are not compatible.
At least thats how i read it.
Ok, makes sense, thanks
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a chap a while back who said a woman had asked for a social so they met in a pub of her choosing.
After a couple of drinks It seemed to be going well when she said she was hungry so he took her to a resteraunt for a meal. After he had paid she said "Sorry, I'm not interested. I'm going home now." and walked out.
I know everyone has the right to say no but surely this is a scam based on socials? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm meeting alone
Always a social 1st
But when I'm meeting with my husband on our cpls profile meeting another cpl...we usually do our chattying on here then it's just a straight down to it meet...not enough time for 2 cpls to be free on the same date |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a chap a while back who said a woman had asked for a social so they met in a pub of her choosing.
After a couple of drinks It seemed to be going well when she said she was hungry so he took her to a resteraunt for a meal. After he had paid she said "Sorry, I'm not interested. I'm going home now." and walked out.
I know everyone has the right to say no but surely this is a scam based on socials? "
yeah thats bad.
personally if i need to eat (food) i will always pay for my own |
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"I met a chap a while back who said a woman had asked for a social so they met in a pub of her choosing.
After a couple of drinks It seemed to be going well when she said she was hungry so he took her to a resteraunt for a meal. After he had paid she said "Sorry, I'm not interested. I'm going home now." and walked out.
I know everyone has the right to say no but surely this is a scam based on socials? "
A difficult one.
It depends what they'd agreed before and what he was expecting vs what she was expecting.
But I would say that you should never go to a social expecting anything more. If a person chooses to pay for another person's meal they should do it with no ulterior motive.
I also think that nobody should give false impressions at a social.
In short if you are going to feel scammed having paid for a meal then being turned down...go Dutch! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely it depends on your definition of a social?
To me a social is meeting for a drink, coffee or more in a public place. If you are demanding a meal, as some profiles I have seen, to me that is dating. Wrong site. I'm not saying as you get to know someone you couldn't go out, just for the initial meeting. Surely it's just to suss each other out?
I have met for socials, I have met for socials with a view to playing if ok with everyone, which it was, so we did. I have also met without a social and just got down to business, so to speak.
From the above, what I have learnt is everyone is different. Do what works for you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We go with the thought that for good fun there has to be a click amongst all parties ?
For single women we always think of their safety first ! So it's more for them to be happy with us and feel safe enough to take it too the fun bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a chap a while back who said a woman had asked for a social so they met in a pub of her choosing.
After a couple of drinks It seemed to be going well when she said she was hungry so he took her to a resteraunt for a meal. After he had paid she said "Sorry, I'm not interested. I'm going home now." and walked out.
I know everyone has the right to say no but surely this is a scam based on socials? "
That is being lead up the garden path unless further chat revealed something that turned her off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely it depends on your definition of a social?
To me a social is meeting for a drink, coffee or more in a public place. If you are demanding a meal, as some profiles I have seen, to me that is dating. Wrong site. I'm not saying as you get to know someone you couldn't go out, just for the initial meeting. Surely it's just to suss each other out?
I have met for socials, I have met for socials with a view to playing if ok with everyone, which it was, so we did. I have also met without a social and just got down to business, so to speak.
From the above, what I have learnt is everyone is different. Do what works for you.
"
I love my meets to date-like and make no apologies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely it depends on your definition of a social?
To me a social is meeting for a drink, coffee or more in a public place. If you are demanding a meal, as some profiles I have seen, to me that is dating. Wrong site. I'm not saying as you get to know someone you couldn't go out, just for the initial meeting. Surely it's just to suss each other out?
I have met for socials, I have met for socials with a view to playing if ok with everyone, which it was, so we did. I have also met without a social and just got down to business, so to speak.
From the above, what I have learnt is everyone is different. Do what works for you.
"
So if a date is required this the wrong site? Only problem is is that dating sites are for singles meeting singles. There is not a site for a couple meeting a single guy and having a 'date' like experience. There are also no sites for hotwives having a date with a guy and the husband knowing. Therefore this must be done on a swingers site. And given that swinging has an important social element to it, it doesn't seem a big deal to go for drinks and maybe a bite to eat and generally make a night of it. Besides I would do all that with my vanilla friends, family, work colleagues, and it's certainly not a date then. It seems that as soon as sex becomes involved the social experienced must be downgraded because that's just too 'date' like.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely it depends on your definition of a social?
To me a social is meeting for a drink, coffee or more in a public place. If you are demanding a meal, as some profiles I have seen, to me that is dating. Wrong site. I'm not saying as you get to know someone you couldn't go out, just for the initial meeting. Surely it's just to suss each other out?
I have met for socials, I have met for socials with a view to playing if ok with everyone, which it was, so we did. I have also met without a social and just got down to business, so to speak.
From the above, what I have learnt is everyone is different. Do what works for you.
So if a date is required this the wrong site? Only problem is is that dating sites are for singles meeting singles. There is not a site for a couple meeting a single guy and having a 'date' like experience. There are also no sites for hotwives having a date with a guy and the husband knowing. Therefore this must be done on a swingers site. And given that swinging has an important social element to it, it doesn't seem a big deal to go for drinks and maybe a bite to eat and generally make a night of it. Besides I would do all that with my vanilla friends, family, work colleagues, and it's certainly not a date then. It seems that as soon as sex becomes involved the social experienced must be downgraded because that's just too 'date' like.
Mrs"
I think it's different for couples meeting for dinner etc etc. It's a completely different dynamic. For 2 singles one or both parties could interpret it as date like because that's exactly what its like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely it depends on your definition of a social?
To me a social is meeting for a drink, coffee or more in a public place. If you are demanding a meal, as some profiles I have seen, to me that is dating. Wrong site. I'm not saying as you get to know someone you couldn't go out, just for the initial meeting. Surely it's just to suss each other out?
I have met for socials, I have met for socials with a view to playing if ok with everyone, which it was, so we did. I have also met without a social and just got down to business, so to speak.
From the above, what I have learnt is everyone is different. Do what works for you.
So if a date is required this the wrong site? Only problem is is that dating sites are for singles meeting singles. There is not a site for a couple meeting a single guy and having a 'date' like experience. There are also no sites for hotwives having a date with a guy and the husband knowing. Therefore this must be done on a swingers site. And given that swinging has an important social element to it, it doesn't seem a big deal to go for drinks and maybe a bite to eat and generally make a night of it. Besides I would do all that with my vanilla friends, family, work colleagues, and it's certainly not a date then. It seems that as soon as sex becomes involved the social experienced must be downgraded because that's just too 'date' like.
Mrs"
My point really was aimed at single men meeting single females.
It would be a different dynamic for a couple meeting another couple or perhaps a single. I certainly wasn't my intention to downgrade anyone.
But I did also say to do what works best for you. If that works for you, then you'll have no argument from me. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different! |
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