FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > To be or Not to be (Honest)
To be or Not to be (Honest)
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What are your thoughs on being honest with your profile?
I have put on mine that I am married and she does know about it. Do you believe this or not or should I just say nothing?
Also I always read a profile and message someone with more than "do you want to fuck". Yet I hardly get a reply back. Is it to much to ask if I have made an effort that you should too?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think cheating is taken too lightly in any circumstances. Personally I think It's always best to be honest in every situation.
About the replying to messages, I put a lot of effort in and don't get responses but I understand that couples and females are probably inundated with hundreds of messages. They aren't being rude, they simply cannot reply as it would take them all day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its up to individuals how they choose to use the site, you cannot force your will upon them, and complaining about not receiving replies is very common, I suggest you just enjoy the ones that do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to be open and honest here... Id sooner deal with a couple of abusive emails and being ignorned than get somewhere only for them to find out...
Its tricky at times but keep putting the effort in and you should get somewhere... Just be patient join in on the forums... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes I understand that couples/females get a lot of messages and they have limited time. What annoys me is when they ask you to put a word or sentance in your reply for them to know that you have read the profile.Then still don't reply back.
As for cheating, is it the same for women and men. In other words is it more acceptable for a married woman to be honest than it is for the man? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I understand that couples/females get a lot of messages and they have limited time. What annoys me is when they ask you to put a word or sentance in your reply for them to know that you have read the profile.Then still don't reply back.
As for cheating, is it the same for women and men. In other words is it more acceptable for a married woman to be honest than it is for the man?"
The words, 'can of worms' and 'hornets nest', spring to mind! |
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"Yes I understand that couples/females get a lot of messages and they have limited time. What annoys me is when they ask you to put a word or sentance in your reply for them to know that you have read the profile.Then still don't reply back.
As for cheating, is it the same for women and men. In other words is it more acceptable for a married woman to be honest than it is for the man?"
The first part has been covered hundreds of times, no one has to reply,end of story.
The second part, not in our book cheating is cheating,man or woman.
You say your wife knows you are here, fab, i have a married male friend in the same situation.i helped him with his profile and one of the things that helped was saying that his partner wud talk on the phone to confirm she was fine with him having a single profile and meeting.
Try that and good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have on my profile that she would take a phone call to verify that I am talling the truth."
In some ways this type of relationship is the one I stay away from most. I've met someone in your situstion...spoke to his wife she seemed ok but the aftermath was messy....she had my number then wanted to know details etc...No way do I need that.
Basically why would the vast majority of women meet a married guy or a married guy who's wife was "ok" with it when there are 100s of single males. Ok so that's might seem a bit blut but it's pretty fair in my mind.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think cheating is taken too lightly in any circumstances. Personally I think It's always best to be honest in every situation.
About the replying to messages, I put a lot of effort in and don't get responses but I understand that couples and females are probably inundated with hundreds of messages. They aren't being rude, they simply cannot reply as it would take them all day. "
Correct! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What are your thoughs on being honest with your profile?
I have put on mine that I am married and she does know about it. Do you believe this or not or should I just say nothing?
Also I always read a profile and message someone with more than "do you want to fuck". Yet I hardly get a reply back. Is it to much to ask if I have made an effort that you should too? "
Be honest or always claim to be honest is the best advice. |
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If you are being honest then all credit to you. But lack of interest may not be down to you being married. Lets face it there is alot of choice out there.
Why not reverse your search and see how many single girls are out there looking for meets. I would not be surprised if its a thousand to one odds.
Often guys come on saying why do I get no meets. Ive looked acouple of times out of interest and well lets say if I was looking for guys I would not be jumping into my sexy knickers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes can understand that not all things turn out ok....What about the profiles asking for men, but not single men. Who are they after?"
I have no idea lol....I would say usually ppl who don't want to meet married men will usually say so in there profile. You are right to be honest though  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you truly are after NSA sex and you just want to fuck and walk away,, why bother to tell a 'stranger' that your not likely to see again that your married.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if you truly are after NSA sex and you just want to fuck and walk away,, why bother to tell a 'stranger' that your not likely to see again that your married.
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I agree with that in some ways but not in others, theres lots of things i wouldnt tell someone on here about my private life and i suppose you could class your marrital status as private
But some people dont like to meet people playing away and if thats their rules you should respect that
Is telling someone who dont meet marrried men that your not married any different to meeting a woman who has stated she dont do anal then trying to stick it up her arse while shes not looking 
Its a total disrespect of peoples rules either way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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of course people deserve to be respected, if it doesn't state 'do not meet married men' on the profile id just assume they have no issue
if the person doesn't know and will not find out.. i can't see the harm.
Im aware its very deceitful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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IMHO, it is better to be honest than to withhold vital information such as marital status.
This allows would be playmates to make an informed choice whether to play with you or not.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all you comments so far...Its interesting getting your opinions on this subjet.
Also thank you to "_uckandbunny" for giving me feedback on my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont really care if someone is married, i supose i should do, but i just think thats their buisness. I wouldnt have an affair with a married man though. I think its only sex, it doesnt mean anything. I tell people i am married, my husband is ok about it. Most men dont mind anyway. If someone sends me quite a long friendly message, i will reply. Maybe you should just say your not married, cos i think a few men on here do lie about it, they have girlfriends and stuff. |
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"Is it to much to ask if I have made an effort that you should too? "
Yes, it is too much to ask. You made the choice to message someone - that doesn't put them under any obligation at all. It's not like getting someone a christmas present! |
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By *riseeTV/TS
over a year ago
MacKay |
"Yes I have on my profile that she would take a phone call to verify that I am talling the truth.
In some ways this type of relationship is the one I stay away from most. I've met someone in your situstion...spoke to his wife she seemed ok but the aftermath was messy....she had my number then wanted to know details etc...No way do I need that.
Basically why would the vast majority of women meet a married guy or a married guy who's wife was "ok" with it when there are 100s of single males. Ok so that's might seem a bit blut but it's pretty fair in my mind. "
I had a fling with a married woman who's husband caught us at it one afternoon. I was set up by the women and my ex for the husbands benefit ... ok we were all close friends, but it was amusing his reaction, and mine! But wow what followed!
I've also had the 'tell me everything' except that was part of the arrangement in advance, I did feel a bit weird though.
My ex and I had a single guy once, who's ex wife found out and then had her lawyer send a letter demanding we remove all records of his affair. We wrote back and said it's hard to take back sex once it's done and we're pretty sure her children won't find out when they reach 18 (the kids were 5 and 7).
Cheaters are cheaters I'm afraid. I've been stung by a few. But by the time you find out it's usually too late.
As to single guys, most aren't single. Most have a secret. I've caught too many out in the last few weeks.
Finding single girls is the challenge though ... my god there are more women on the planet (1000's more girl babies are born each year than boy babies for the last 35 years) so where are all the single women!
And for the record there are more gay men than there are lesbian women, so the numbers aren't adding up!
xox
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most of the 'single' men who have contacted me have got girlfriends usually that they live with
Honesty is best but status's can be misleading
Just cus a man says he is single doesn't mean another woman isn't involved and lets be fair that can be lied about anyway.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally with so many single men I never felt the need to play with OPP! On the odd occasion one has slipped through my filters I've always spotted them prior to a play meet.
One nearly had s heart attack when I used scented hand cream in his car: it was his wife's and she had the nose of a bloodhound, another only had a phone on 9-5 only. If he did reply he was outside or whispering. They could never accommodate and I only met those that could. I notice you can OP: hotel? I never met in hotels.
Some people won't care about your status, concentrate in those. Whining about lack of response will not endear you.
Be honest and allow others to make an informed choice about meeting you.
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Seen this type of post 100's of times, 'Am I not getting meets/replies because, I'm...
married
single
fat
thin
tall
short
etc. etc. etc.
It's the same for everyone... its not easy and that's all there is to it.
I admin on another site where a guy was claiming that he was playing solo with his wife's permission but believed admitting it on his profile was holding him back. So I told him... 'Get your wife to phone me and subject to that I will provide you with a verification that you are true'.... for some reason he didn't take up my offer  just can't help some people
You might find a couple local to you who are fully verified/credit worthy on here and see if they will meet you and your wife for a social such that they might provide testament to your claim. Then see if it improves your meet/reply rate. |
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