FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > “Need to be exceptional”
“Need to be exceptional”
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well that rules us out! 
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We used to have it on our profile. Basically said we were no longer looking for single guys unless he were exceptional. I took it off our profile following a similar thread to this as I didn't want anyone thinking we were arrogant or anything. Having said that I do believe the men we meet are indeed exceptional, but that's a compliment to them, not a big up for us. But I don't really know how to explain it in a better way, so as it stands at the moment we just say we are not meeting full stop.
Mrs |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people. "
It is on my profile, I'm far from egotistical, I guess it's just my way of saying that I have my pick of single men so don't be surprised if I'm not interested.
Since putting it on my profile I have found the amount of men contacting me has halved. Although it's quite an eye opener to see people's view of exceptional |
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people. "
Well exactly. Exceptional in bed,conversation wise. Could be bloody anything ha. I think it sounds like one of those people who just use big words when really there is no need for such a term. Are they exceptional themselves,who says they are,do they believe they are. Move on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people.
It is on my profile, I'm far from egotistical, I guess it's just my way of saying that I have my pick of single men so don't be surprised if I'm not interested.
Since putting it on my profile I have found the amount of men contacting me has halved. Although it's quite an eye opener to see people's view of exceptional "
It would be interesting why it's halved. Do half the men not consider themselves exceptional? Or is it that half these men think you are being egotistical so are avoiding you? Fundamentally if you are trawling through less crap and have a greater proportion of men more to your taste messaging by you, then you have achieved something by saying you are looking for the exceptional. As ive said, I regard the men we meet as exceptional, and I don't think any of them would be put off by that in a profile.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not exceptional or believe myself to be so.
Seeing "seeking exceptional" on a profile will stop me from messaging, partly from a confidence point of view but partly because whoever it is will more than likely have a predefined idea of what they want.
If it was me, they would have found me and messaged me.
Am I missing out? Who knows. |
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By *rontmanMan
over a year ago
Derby and often London |
I dont consider my self as exceptional, certainly not physically anyway! To be fair I think it's a huge set up for disappointment some way or another anyway! Maybe exceptional looking etc but be a total plonker!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone considers themselves exceptional enough to respond to a profile requesting exceptional (after they have read the the profile and checked there is a good match), is that person being self-confident or arrogant? Personally I like a man who is confident enough in himself to regard himself as exceptional. But I wouldn't like a man who arrogantly thought he were exceptional. There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confident.
Mrs |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"If someone considers themselves exceptional enough to respond to a profile requesting exceptional (after they have read the the profile and checked there is a good match), is that person being self-confident or arrogant? Personally I like a man who is confident enough in himself to regard himself as exceptional. But I wouldn't like a man who arrogantly thought he were exceptional. There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confident.
Mrs"
Very true.
I do also have an explanation of what exceptional is. It's actually much more about personality and connection then anything else. (This thread has prompted me to at least remove the physical side of things, which I'd been meaning to remove anyway because too many men think just having a penis makes them exceptional) |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people.
It is on my profile, I'm far from egotistical, I guess it's just my way of saying that I have my pick of single men so don't be surprised if I'm not interested.
Since putting it on my profile I have found the amount of men contacting me has halved. Although it's quite an eye opener to see people's view of exceptional "
Just read your profile. Did you add the bit at the end due to a thread like this? Without that I would ignore your profile. Wth it I would potentially take a chance. I am above the age range but fit the rest of that description. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"Just read your profile. Did you add the bit at the end due to a thread like this? Without that I would ignore your profile. Wth it I would potentially take a chance. I am above the age range but fit the rest of that description."
Nope, that's always been there since I first included it, I like to think I put some thought and effort into my profile and it's no good just throwing a word around without clarifying is meaning to you in that specific context.
(that and I've probably spent too much of my life on academia and so feel a need to clarify and reference all of the things)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can come across like the owner of the profile thinks their version of exceptional is the universally accepted version and they don't need to actually bother describing what they want.
There's no universal definition of exceptional  I'm exceptional to my gf, but not to thousands of others.
I think that's why it strikes me as a bit egotistical and, because it can come across like people should just know what they think is exceptional and I'll pass these profiles by more often than not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I see it all the time! Wonder how many meets a single guy would get if he wrote “only looking for exceptional females”
Probably more. Desperation it not a pretty thing to encounter. "
That rules of 50% of fab then! |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Just read your profile. Did you add the bit at the end due to a thread like this? Without that I would ignore your profile. Wth it I would potentially take a chance. I am above the age range but fit the rest of that description.
Nope, that's always been there since I first included it, I like to think I put some thought and effort into my profile and it's no good just throwing a word around without clarifying is meaning to you in that specific context.
(that and I've probably spent too much of my life on academia and so feel a need to clarify and reference all of the things)
"
I like it. Couldn't be any clearer what you mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously it just means try are not after single males but they could make an exception if they felt you were exceptional in their view.
Nothing egotistical about it. They are not ruling out males completely but their view is you would need to be fairly special in some way for them to play |
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people. "
We have that
Exceptional means that we aren’t looking to play for the sake of playing
Does it make us egotistical ? No ... no more than someone saying not looking to shag the whole site or someone blocking everyone from messaging and choosing to search themselves
We have the best sex together so play ONLY when we are feeling an extra bit naughty
Exceptional in our eyes doesn’t necessarily mean Greek god lookalikes it means exceptionally nice people that we can get on well on a personal level too |
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Hmmm ... I just checked my profile because this thread rang a distant bell (well, it was written ages ago) and saw my byline states that I'm seeking 'exceptional sexual adventures'. When I wrote that I had in mind that if I was going to get up close and personal with other people, I wanted it to be worth my while so to speak ... in exactly the same way I'd want to make it worth *their* while too!! In other words, I was looking for people who were prepared to put a bit of effort into the whole process - from getting to know me and up to and including the meet itself. I hoped to convey I was looking for people who were sexually considerate, creative, uninhibited, intuitive, reciprocal, fun, maybe experimental .... as opposed to anyone after the mundanity (in my opinion) of a quick 'fuck and go' experience who was only interested in getting what *they* wanted rather than aiming for mutual pleasure.
Admittedly I probably (typically) over thought it a bit but it was certainly never my intention to put anyone off and it definitely doesn't refer to some unrealistic physical ideal I expect people to conform to. It's all about the attitude I hope they have towards meeting and playing. If you knew me you'd probably think I was one of the least egotistical people around - I have very little self esteem, I find it hard to accept compliments, I'm not an attention seeker and am wracked with doubts about my attractiveness.
In any case ... it'd seem that only a minority of people actually ever read my profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I must say that I pass by profiles with something similar written, I wouldn't consider myself exceptional at all and I think I'd feel pressured to perform at a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because it's vague enough to encompass everyone and no one at the same time. You could be exceptionally unnatractive, does that still count?
Just say, you're looking for people you find attractive, however ineffable that standard may be. |
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I removed exceptional and substituted ‘very special’ in my profile. It’s meaning to me is clear - if after reading my profile a man sends me a message matching my tastes then bets are on he’s pretty special - in my eyes. It’s not arrogant to want exceptional in my view. You can get mundane wham bam sex anywhere. For me, Fab is about meeting for fantasy and fabulous sex and let’s face it, we can’t fancy everyone. Fab has someone for everyone. Live and let live. Move on to the next profile and find someone you want to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're attractive there's nothing wrong in wanting to meet other attractive people. I think when people write "exceptional" I presume this is what they mean."
I'd think the same. Attractive people looking for the same. I'm not attractive so I wouldn't mail them but I certainly wouldn't be offended.
It would depend on what else they said as to whether I'd think they were egotistical. One word wouldn't make me think that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I consider my husband as exceptional and he considers me exceptional our individual options of ourselves fall far short.
I think the term exceptional offers a wide spectrum of choice!
I think it’s down to personal preference on who we deem “ special “ enough to not only meet but to in essence engage in a very personal act!
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey, if I was getting bombarded with messages how else would I be able to decipher who would actually be worth the time unless I asked for the exceptional?
Hardly think it's arrogant |
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We used to have it on our profile for couples. We meant that generally we wouldn't be looking to meet couples, but if a really good match came along then we'd be interested. I don't think that's demeaning in any way. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone considers themselves exceptional enough to respond to a profile requesting exceptional (after they have read the the profile and checked there is a good match), is that person being self-confident or arrogant? Personally I like a man who is confident enough in himself to regard himself as exceptional. But I wouldn't like a man who arrogantly thought he were exceptional. There is a fine line between arrogance and self-confident.
Mrs"
Yes I can see your point of view and can understand how it works for you. Like been said already, it’s sometimes surprising what some folk consider to be exceptional. If it’s looks that they are asking to comply then that all depends on what individuals like in a person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I see it all the time! Wonder how many meets a single guy would get if he wrote “only looking for exceptional females”
Probably more. Desperation it not a pretty thing to encounter. "
That I have to agree. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you're attractive there's nothing wrong in wanting to meet other attractive people. I think when people write "exceptional" I presume this is what they mean."
Therefore everyone is exceptional since any one person may be attractive to someone but not to someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have it on my profile but it applies to penis size. I like a penis to make a good thwack or a thud when it springs back against his belly. "
You're the type of person I'd call exceptional.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic or white knight way either. Just a statement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people.
We would agree with you "
Not sure if you’re agreeing we’re not exceptional or that agree it may be from egotistical folk.  .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it has as much to do with a desired personality as it does with a desired level of attractiveness. I imagine people who have that on their profile are looking for people who consider themselves thusly...which requires a specific self perception.
Personally, we don't really message these profiles. I don't think we are what they are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We used to have it on our profile for couples. We meant that generally we wouldn't be looking to meet couples, but if a really good match came along then we'd be interested. I don't think that's demeaning in any way. "
That's probably how we feel. We say on our profile that we're not meeting. Reason is we have our regulars. Twice in the past year we stumbled 2 guys who we thought it was worth making room for. We made an exception for these guys, therefore they were exceptional.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have it on my profile but it applies to penis size. I like a penis to make a good thwack or a thud when it springs back against his belly.
You're the type of person I'd call exceptional.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic or white knight way either. Just a statement."
Thank you very much  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm exceptional in lots of different ways but not all ways at the same time. And, not to all people. I'm happy to let others be the judge. Right now I'm being exceptionally lazy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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That old saying comes to mind.....
You can’t please all the people all of the time but you can please all the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time.
Something like that anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have it on my profile but it applies to penis size. I like a penis to make a good thwack or a thud when it springs back against his belly.
You're the type of person I'd call exceptional.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic or white knight way either. Just a statement."
Why would you consider her exceptional? |
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people.
We would agree with you
Not sure if you’re agreeing we’re not exceptional or that agree it may be from egotistical folk. .... "
Sorry , we agree it may be from egotistical folk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck"
The men that I consider exceptional I would regard as on the same level as me. I do not bat above my station, hence the young guys with a gym fit body and a smooth youthful face, (although I might enjoy looking at them) I would not pursue them just be the ratios are in my favour. I do believe the guys we have met privately would also meet me if it were a dating site.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have it on my profile but it applies to penis size. I like a penis to make a good thwack or a thud when it springs back against his belly.
You're the type of person I'd call exceptional.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic or white knight way either. Just a statement.
Why would you consider her exceptional?"
She is what I'd call exceptional because I think she's hot and she knows it (because it's true) but she's not a cunt about it. From her posts she comes across as a really nice, caring, down to earth person. But also still normal in that she owns when she's an arsehole. I think it's a rare quality. And to me, that is exceptional. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck"
A dating site is very different to a site such as this. Dating sites are more 'open' with face pics more often on view. Women usually have to be careful what they say and what they ask for because society generally has an idea of what a 'good woman' is.
Sites such as this, women can be more open about what they want. Of course some will have inflated ego's from the hundreds of desperate men that will fuck any wet hole (but the women think it means they are incredibly desirable). However many women will just be honest about the type of men they want to meet. Many men will be attracted to them because they are open and owning their sexuality. Many men will fancy the arse off those women - no matter how 'unattractive' they are deemed in day to day life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
A dating site is very different to a site such as this. Dating sites are more 'open' with face pics more often on view. Women usually have to be careful what they say and what they ask for because society generally has an idea of what a 'good woman' is.
Sites such as this, women can be more open about what they want. Of course some will have inflated ego's from the hundreds of desperate men that will fuck any wet hole (but the women think it means they are incredibly desirable). However many women will just be honest about the type of men they want to meet. Many men will be attracted to them because they are open and owning their sexuality. Many men will fancy the arse off those women - no matter how 'unattractive' they are deemed in day to day life."
Their approach on a dating site has nothing at all to do with being a 'good woman'. It's just a more realistic environment where they generally can't bat above their average because men just won't date anything, whereas they may just fuck anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
A dating site is very different to a site such as this. Dating sites are more 'open' with face pics more often on view. Women usually have to be careful what they say and what they ask for because society generally has an idea of what a 'good woman' is.
Sites such as this, women can be more open about what they want. Of course some will have inflated ego's from the hundreds of desperate men that will fuck any wet hole (but the women think it means they are incredibly desirable). However many women will just be honest about the type of men they want to meet. Many men will be attracted to them because they are open and owning their sexuality. Many men will fancy the arse off those women - no matter how 'unattractive' they are deemed in day to day life.
Their approach on a dating site has nothing at all to do with being a 'good woman'. It's just a more realistic environment where they generally can't bat above their average because men just won't date anything, whereas they may just fuck anything."
And this is exactly why I don't bat above my station and try to stick with guys who I know I could realistically date. I don't want to be that 'anything' for a guy who is only fucking me cos I'm there.
Mrs |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck"
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates."
You'd put down 'will only date exceptional' men? Sorry, I don't believe for one second you would, nor would any other woman unless she was a 10 out of 10 looks wise and knew it. Even then, it would be rare.
This has nothing to do with misogyny or reducing women to anything or any other nonsense. It's just reality |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates.
You'd put down 'will only date exceptional' men? Sorry, I don't believe for one second you would, nor would any other woman unless she was a 10 out of 10 looks wise and knew it. Even then, it would be rare.
This has nothing to do with misogyny or reducing women to anything or any other nonsense. It's just reality"
It's everything to do with misogyny. What the fuck even is a 10/10. What an insulting thing to say.
And I'm a lier. Great. That's nice to know. Didn't realise that, thanks for letting me know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates."
The guy is being pretty curt...but it's not entirely wrong. Like it or not...therw IS such a thing as batting above ones station. In looks, socioeconomic status, education level...most statistics account for this quite routinely so I never really get this false premise by many that said "leagues" don't exist. They do.
Just have a look at the hot pics page. Take a look at the women who are conventionally attractive...they will be highly selective in their meeting criteria or you'll find that their meets actually consist of many conventionally decent looking men too. Beauty and desirability is not in the eye of the beholder. Never has been. There are slight differences depending on cultural sensibilities and environmental realities...but, for the most part, sexy is sexy.
Also you would put the same on a vanilla dating site? Who exactly are you bullshitting? Us or yourself? You and I both know that you wouldn't...no woman would. Especially if she wants to be taken even remotely seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates.
The guy is being pretty curt...but it's not entirely wrong. Like it or not...therw IS such a thing as batting above ones station. In looks, socioeconomic status, education level...most statistics account for this quite routinely so I never really get this false premise by many that said "leagues" don't exist. They do.
Just have a look at the hot pics page. Take a look at the women who are conventionally attractive...they will be highly selective in their meeting criteria or you'll find that their meets actually consist of many conventionally decent looking men too. Beauty and desirability is not in the eye of the beholder. Never has been. There are slight differences depending on cultural sensibilities and environmental realities...but, for the most part, sexy is sexy.
Also you would put the same on a vanilla dating site? Who exactly are you bullshitting? Us or yourself? You and I both know that you wouldn't...no woman would. Especially if she wants to be taken even remotely seriously."
Careful now, or your perfect grasp of logic will be wilfully misinterpreted as misogyny |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people. "
We wouldnt say that rules you out  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates.
The guy is being pretty curt...but it's not entirely wrong. Like it or not...therw IS such a thing as batting above ones station. In looks, socioeconomic status, education level...most statistics account for this quite routinely so I never really get this false premise by many that said "leagues" don't exist. They do.
Just have a look at the hot pics page. Take a look at the women who are conventionally attractive...they will be highly selective in their meeting criteria or you'll find that their meets actually consist of many conventionally decent looking men too. Beauty and desirability is not in the eye of the beholder. Never has been. There are slight differences depending on cultural sensibilities and environmental realities...but, for the most part, sexy is sexy.
Also you would put the same on a vanilla dating site? Who exactly are you bullshitting? Us or yourself? You and I both know that you wouldn't...no woman would. Especially if she wants to be taken even remotely seriously.
Careful now, or your perfect grasp of logic will be wilfully misinterpreted as misogyny"
You can't call someone misogynistic the moment they don't agree with you. If anything I think it's a testament to how much modern feminism harms the arguments of women. It's like those who call everything racist. Once everything becomes misogynistic...nothing is. Besides this argument has nothing to do with misogyny and everything to do with the reality of dating. The same applies to men. Claiming that such reality is discriminatory is a little childish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Somebody says that they only want to meet exceptional people and I instantly lose interest. I wouldn't want to meet them whether they considered me exceptional or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates.
The guy is being pretty curt...but it's not entirely wrong. Like it or not...therw IS such a thing as batting above ones station. In looks, socioeconomic status, education level...most statistics account for this quite routinely so I never really get this false premise by many that said "leagues" don't exist. They do.
Just have a look at the hot pics page. Take a look at the women who are conventionally attractive...they will be highly selective in their meeting criteria or you'll find that their meets actually consist of many conventionally decent looking men too. Beauty and desirability is not in the eye of the beholder. Never has been. There are slight differences depending on cultural sensibilities and environmental realities...but, for the most part, sexy is sexy.
Also you would put the same on a vanilla dating site? Who exactly are you bullshitting? Us or yourself? You and I both know that you wouldn't...no woman would. Especially if she wants to be taken even remotely seriously.
Careful now, or your perfect grasp of logic will be wilfully misinterpreted as misogyny
You can't call someone misogynistic the moment they don't agree with you. If anything I think it's a testament to how much modern feminism harms the arguments of women. It's like those who call everything racist. Once everything becomes misogynistic...nothing is. Besides this argument has nothing to do with misogyny and everything to do with the reality of dating. The same applies to men. Claiming that such reality is discriminatory is a little childish."
Spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my humble opinion, it comes from women and couples who have an inflated sense of self on here due to the ridiculous amounts of men. You'll see lots of women who would generally be deemed to be unattractive in a day to day sense using it in here when looming for men because they know they can bat well above their average due to the numbers mismatch. As verification of this, picture the same woman on a dating site...is she going to write the same request? Is she fuck
Because that doesn't sound bitter at all.
There is no such thing as 'batting above your average' that's mysognistic bullshit reducing women to nothing more then an object that you deem worthy or not. Attractivness is subjective and beauty is very definitely in the eye of the beholder.
I would put exactly the same thing on a vanilla dating site if I was remotely interested in going on dates.
The guy is being pretty curt...but it's not entirely wrong. Like it or not...therw IS such a thing as batting above ones station. In looks, socioeconomic status, education level...most statistics account for this quite routinely so I never really get this false premise by many that said "leagues" don't exist. They do.
Just have a look at the hot pics page. Take a look at the women who are conventionally attractive...they will be highly selective in their meeting criteria or you'll find that their meets actually consist of many conventionally decent looking men too. Beauty and desirability is not in the eye of the beholder. Never has been. There are slight differences depending on cultural sensibilities and environmental realities...but, for the most part, sexy is sexy.
Also you would put the same on a vanilla dating site? Who exactly are you bullshitting? Us or yourself? You and I both know that you wouldn't...no woman would. Especially if she wants to be taken even remotely seriously.
Careful now, or your perfect grasp of logic will be wilfully misinterpreted as misogyny"
Definition of misogyny - dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women (Oxford English Dictionary).
How is the concept of batting above ones station mysonginistic? Women can bat above or below ones station, and men can bat above or below ones station. That has nothing to do with disliking or having a contempt or preduduce for women. That being said some may well believe that we are all equal in looks and that beauty in in the eye of the beholder, but that is a different argument. I personally believe that in reality there are people that nearly everybody fancies visually and people that very few fancy visually and many that fall somewhere in between on the sliding scale.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somebody says that they only want to meet exceptional people and I instantly lose interest. I wouldn't want to meet them whether they considered me exceptional or not."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok so we're in this position where we don't meet, but from time to time someone catches our eye as a 'must meet' so we'll shift things to make it happen. Obviously that guy will be exceptional in our eyes, because we hardly ever meet. So if we were to explain this position on our profile, how do to we explain this without using the word 'exceptional'. Is there a less offensive word to explain the same thing? Because I don't think our selection procedure is offensive, or means we're arrogant. But we would be deemed as such if we were to use that word.
Mrs |
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"Because it's vague enough to encompass everyone and no one at the same time. You could be exceptionally unnatractive, does that still count?
Just say, you're looking for people you find attractive, however ineffable that standard may be. "
Luv this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People need to develop some self confidence, and stop feeling insecure.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone saying they only meet “exceptional” people.
That doesn’t make them arrogant or rude, it’s just a figure of speech to say that they have standards. Also, one persons “exceptional” is another’s average. So I wouldn’t let it bother you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People need to develop some self confidence, and stop feeling insecure.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone saying they only meet “exceptional” people.
That doesn’t make them arrogant or rude, it’s just a figure of speech to say that they have standards. Also, one persons “exceptional” is another’s average. So I wouldn’t let it bother you."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so we're in this position where we don't meet, but from time to time someone catches our eye as a 'must meet' so we'll shift things to make it happen. Obviously that guy will be exceptional in our eyes, because we hardly ever meet. So if we were to explain this position on our profile, how do to we explain this without using the word 'exceptional'. Is there a less offensive word to explain the same thing? Because I don't think our selection procedure is offensive, or means we're arrogant. But we would be deemed as such if we were to use that word.
Mrs"
Why say anything? Just leave it saying you rarely or never meet. Just reply to the ones that catch your eye. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so we're in this position where we don't meet, but from time to time someone catches our eye as a 'must meet' so we'll shift things to make it happen. Obviously that guy will be exceptional in our eyes, because we hardly ever meet. So if we were to explain this position on our profile, how do to we explain this without using the word 'exceptional'. Is there a less offensive word to explain the same thing? Because I don't think our selection procedure is offensive, or means we're arrogant. But we would be deemed as such if we were to use that word.
Mrs
Why say anything? Just leave it saying you rarely or never meet. Just reply to the ones that catch your eye. "
That's what we do. But we used to explain ourselves a bit better. I'm naturally a transparent person and I like to explain my position. A thread similar to this made me realise the word offended some people, so I took it out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just love this thread really interesting people trying to justify the exceptional requirement
I would never meet that requirement but at least I am real "
Why would you think you can't be exceptional? Surely anybody who chooses to have a sexual relationship with you must regard you as exceptional. Most people are choosey after all.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just love this thread really interesting people trying to justify the exceptional requirement
I would never meet that requirement but at least I am real "
Bloody hell with your verifications it looks like a lot of people think you are exceptional |
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It's funny we are in the process of deciding what to put on our profile rewrite as when we originally wrote it we were very new and it's not a particularly good representation of us as a couple now.
One thing i have decided to include(long before reading this thread) is that we find humility and self depreciation attractive, a case of horses for courses i suppose. |
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I guess the concept is clear- not particularly looking for... but if someone who really caught their eye they might be tempted. and I guess that's how I would word it on my profile (if I wanted to) simply because it said the same but in a more positive way. I just don't like negative profiles... |
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people.
We have that
Exceptional means that we aren’t looking to play for the sake of playing
Does it make us egotistical ? No ... no more than someone saying not looking to shag the whole site or someone blocking everyone from messaging and choosing to search themselves
We have the best sex together so play ONLY when we are feeling an extra bit naughty
Exceptional in our eyes doesn’t necessarily mean Greek god lookalikes it means exceptionally nice people that we can get on well on a personal level too "
Hmmmm. I get exactly what you're saying and doing by having exceptional in your bio,but I doubt there's the need for it,unless you wouldn't get on with just a regular nice person and have just as good time with them.as apposed to an exceptionally nice person?. |
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people.
We have that
Exceptional means that we aren’t looking to play for the sake of playing
Does it make us egotistical ? No ... no more than someone saying not looking to shag the whole site or someone blocking everyone from messaging and choosing to search themselves
We have the best sex together so play ONLY when we are feeling an extra bit naughty
Exceptional in our eyes doesn’t necessarily mean Greek god lookalikes it means exceptionally nice people that we can get on well on a personal level too
Hmmmm. I get exactly what you're saying and doing by having exceptional in your bio,but I doubt there's the need for it,unless you wouldn't get on with just a regular nice person and have just as good time with them.as apposed to an exceptionally nice person?. "
We see it this way
‘Exceptional’ by definition of term means unusual not typical. We rarely look to meet , prefer the social side at clubs so when we do want to meet its because it’s with someone that really stands out as exceptional to us for whatever reasons , looks , personality could be anything that sparks our interest but they have something different.
It’s a personal preference of wording
Perhaps if we didn’t understand the meaning of the word exceptional it wouldn’t make sense to us either x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would suggest that a person can know the meaning of exceptional but still not know what is required by a couples use of the word. Deviation of the norm can come in many forms. It can depend on which of many different social and or cultural groups is being used as a basis.
If a group are all millionaires you are exceptional if you are a billionaire or a pauper. If you are using exceptional to mean an unusual surplus and therefore the billionaire in the example that definition only works if you let people know money is your reference point.
Therefore it is not knowing the definition of exceptional that is the issue. It is the failure to provide reference points with the term that creates the confusion.
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"I would suggest that a person can know the meaning of exceptional but still not know what is required by a couples use of the word. Deviation of the norm can come in many forms. It can depend on which of many different social and or cultural groups is being used as a basis.
If a group are all millionaires you are exceptional if you are a billionaire or a pauper. If you are using exceptional to mean an unusual surplus and therefore the billionaire in the example that definition only works if you let people know money is your reference point.
Therefore it is not knowing the definition of exceptional that is the issue. It is the failure to provide reference points with the term that creates the confusion.
"
Agreed which is why we painstakingly write our profile to show what we are looking for (isht that the whole idea ?) but also state although if not our type we love to make friends to socially party with too as that’s important to us
Exceptional , outstanding , different ... can all mean different things by different people. |
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These people want to be swept up in supermans cloak, to run their fingers over muscles in places most people don't have places, to feel the thrust of a big pulsating cock, like a babies arm holding an apple. It's mostly women that ask for this, most blokes just say "must have a minge"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somebody says that they only want to meet exceptional people and I instantly lose interest. I wouldn't want to meet them whether they considered me exceptional or not."
Totaly agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well that rules us out!
Quite often see this in profiles. What exactly is ‘exceptional’?
We personally think it comes from a profile written by egotistical people. "
I see that a lot. i do t know if they'd think I was exceptional, I don't know if I'm exceptional....I'll just not mail them then... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might put "seeking an exceptional lady" on my profile and see if it influences the amount of mail I get 
It made no difference so I removed it..."
I tried a status "vvwe only need get in touch". I got 0 messages from the women I'm trying to attract. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might put "seeking an exceptional lady" on my profile and see if it influences the amount of mail I get
It made no difference so I removed it...
I tried a status "vvwe only need get in touch". I got 0 messages from the women I'm trying to attract. "
 |
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