FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > You can’t win on fab

You can’t win on fab

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I’m not a guy who sends too many messages and when I do I write a decent first message not just like ‘hi’ or ‘want to fuck’ So there was a lovely looking lady on my hotlist for a while so I thought I would send a nice sensible well mannered messaged and I get back a message saying it was a copy and paste job and blocked me.

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

We only block if someone persistently sends friends requests/winks so rude. But dont get block as happy to chat even though we only go clubs no meets/socials x

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By *.1079Man over a year ago

rhyl

I was was speak to a ladie for a while and I sent her a message saying "have you been up to much lately" and she replied with "what's my private sex life got to do with you" and blocked me.

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

We instantly deleted what we thought was a copy and paste today op. It wasn’t personalised to us at all, no reference to our profile or any reference to pics which is almost always present, and 100% about what he could offer to anyone. It came across as very generic, did your message have those traits op?

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By *wisted2000Woman over a year ago

under my rock cleethorpes

"We instantly deleted what we thought was a copy and paste today op. It wasn’t personalised to us at all, no reference to our profile or any reference to pics which is almost always present, and 100% about what he could offer to anyone. It came across as very generic, did your message have those traits op?"

I do the same, any lack of personal reference and I’ll block, I may be wrong in some cases but when you’re sent several a day it becomes tedious unfortunately and ruins it for the rest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hey, at least a reply! Without doubt it's very frustrating though, especially because it seems a lot of ladies' seem to have had inappropriate k**bhead messages which have clouded their view of genuine messages from genuine men, marvelous!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hey, at least a reply! Without doubt it's very frustrating though, especially because it seems a lot of ladies' seem to have had inappropriate k**bhead messages which have clouded their view of genuine messages from genuine men, marvelous!

You win the prize for mentioning Genuine in a thread.

As for the OP...

If someone blocks you over something trivial and has had the decency to reply, take it as a positive.

You were blocked, but some people get blocked before you even get the chance to send a message!

If they are on such a hair trigger with the block button, you may be better off not knowing them. View it as them doing you a favour. How gutted would you be 12 messages in then getting blocked?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately, OP, you have to accept that you can't please all of the people all of the time. If your message was personalized and considered then, at the end of the day, they will lose out. It doesn't help you but do you really want to meet someone who appears to be unnecessarily judgmental!!

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By *ANDA2Couple over a year ago

Henley Arden

[Removed by poster at 21/10/17 12:09:46]

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By *ANDA2Couple over a year ago

Henley Arden

Lusts not lists. Bloody auto correct

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You win the prize for mentioning Genuine in a thread.

As for the OP...

If someone blocks you over something trivial and has had the decency to reply, take it as a positive.

You were blocked, but some people get blocked before you even get the chance to send a message!

If they are on such a hair trigger with the block button, you may be better off not knowing them. View it as them doing you a favour. How gutted would you be 12 messages in then getting blocked?"

I don't mind copy and paste messages. Men have to mail hundreds of women with no reply- I don't have a ridiculous ego problem where I think men should degrade themselves just for a second of my time.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

and again this daft statement! women are not that stupid! one message does not affect another message...if any of us that had stupid messages then assumed any other messages were equally as stupid there wouldn't be any women left on here!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I’m not a guy who sends too many messages and when I do I write a decent first message not just like ‘hi’ or ‘want to fuck’ So there was a lovely looking lady on my hotlist for a while so I thought I would send a nice sensible well mannered messaged and I get back a message saying it was a copy and paste job and blocked me.

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue "

Happens all the time on here - like you I only send well thought out, personalised messages to people I have a genuine interest in - about 70% never get read, about 70% of those that do, get instantly deleted, and about 70% of those that reply end up going nowhere/petering out.

That leaves about 0.0005% of originally sent messages by someone who actually takes the time and effort to send a decent email that end up meeting you.

This is entirely par for the course by the way, and there's nothing you or I can do about it. Women get a LOT of boring/generic/bullshit messages (about 98% of messages from men on here are nonsensical/dick pic bullshit) so people like you & I often just get lost in the pile or bulk deleted, or we're just not their type.

It's a massive minefield, and all in the timing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't get worked up about it op. It's just one person. We all get blocked for one reason or another. It just means you aren't compatible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just to add to that - you can win on here, by being thick skinned, having a lot of perseverance and understanding of the nature of the site, and the way many men attempt to interact with women.

Also, you need to put yourself in the position of many women on here, that have to deal with all the idiots. It takes way more time than most women have, to email everyone back and is simply not practical or possible.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"To be honest you Fab user name would put us off straight away no matter how good your message.

Impressions are gleaned from more than just an email.

First impressions do count with me.

Certain Usernames & pics of cocks with 'devices' or an album of nothing bit cocks from 20 different angles will often mean I never even read the message

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"To be honest you Fab user name would put us off straight away no matter how good your message.

Impressions are gleaned from more than just an email.

First impressions do count with me.

Certain Usernames & pics of cocks with 'devices' or an album of nothing bit cocks from 20 different angles will often mean I never even read the message "

Me too - first impressions DO count massively. It can be a turn of phrase, or a certain photo that can put people off entirely. Example: if someone can't string a legible sentence together, using at least half decent English, I'm instantly put off.

Rightly or wrongly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It does affect many women though. Too many crap/ rude messages from cavemen types and it can make us feel shit. Women start writing ranty profiles and just don't feel sexy anymore.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No one is entitled to a reply on Fab.

And no one is entitled to not be blocked. Its what the button is there for, people will use it as they see fit.

You just have to keep on trucking. Not entirely sure being 26 and having the name..."the wanking king" helps all that much. Thats just me though...

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

You feel like you can't at times,even as a couple.

We had anothef couple who viewed us quite alot,ie everyday.Jack sent a quick hello and it was deleted...

Miss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was basing it on the numerous times I've read women post as much on the Forum.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It does affect many women though. Too many crap/ rude messages from cavemen types and it can make us feel shit. Women start writing ranty profiles and just don't feel sexy anymore. "

I can see it affects what we might put on our profiles, but i really think most women on here take each message on its own merit...i dont get 1 shit message, then delete the next 5 because they're from men so therefore must be shit as well...if that was the case, none of us would be on here? why would we be? it's a cop out statement..'i don't get a reply because some other random man was rude to her an hour ago'...makes no sense at all!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest you Fab user name would put us off straight away no matter how good your message.

Impressions are gleaned from more than just an email.

First impressions do count with me.

Certain Usernames & pics of cocks with 'devices' or an album of nothing bit cocks from 20 different angles will often mean I never even read the message "

That’s fair I know woman have to narrow men down some way because of the amount on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one is entitled to a reply on Fab.

And no one is entitled to not be blocked. Its what the button is there for, people will use it as they see fit.

You just have to keep on trucking. Not entirely sure being 26 and having the name..."the wanking king" helps all that much. Thats just me though..."

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"To be honest you Fab user name would put us off straight away no matter how good your message.

Impressions are gleaned from more than just an email.

However you can be can take a learn from this and maybe you your emails are not quite as good as you think.

At the end of the day if someone does not like you there's not a lot you can do. No matter how much one lists after them. "

Didn’t say I had a good message that would turn any girls head I just said it wasn’t your average fuck boy message.

What can I say ...if a name puts you off it puts you off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We just block serial stalkers/friend request/winkers. If we get a message and they obviously haven't read our profile or meet request we just don't reply otherwise try reply even if no thanks. We're not block happy

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"No one is entitled to a reply on Fab.

And no one is entitled to not be blocked. Its what the button is there for, people will use it as they see fit.

You just have to keep on trucking. Not entirely sure being 26 and having the name..."the wanking king" helps all that much. Thats just me though..."

When I used that name it was meant to be a bit of a laugh and banter as we know the kind of site we are on. Didn’t realize everyone would take a silly name to heart so much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was basing it on the numerous times I've read women post as much on the Forum."

Loads of women say they get so pissed off with crap mail they ignore it all or bulk delete.

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By *ANDA2Couple over a year ago

Henley Arden

"No one is entitled to a reply on Fab.

And no one is entitled to not be blocked. Its what the button is there for, people will use it as they see fit.

You just have to keep on trucking. Not entirely sure being 26 and having the name..."the wanking king" helps all that much. Thats just me though...

When I used that name it was meant to be a bit of a laugh and banter as we know the kind of site we are on. Didn’t realize everyone would take a silly name to heart so much "

We don't take take your user name to heart. To others your name may attract to us not.

We have read some great single guy profile but their username Things like kingdicjk, Ivorbigun, spunktastic just puts us as it's not our kind of humour or approach to things. Therefore it means we are not compatible so we search for people who are.

However your fab profile is like a job interview or sales pitch. If there's one doubt it's easy to move on to the next.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For starters it's against the rules to post about private messages on a forum. Secondly, as another poster has already said,maybe the message wasn't as good as you thought, I suspect you gave it away that it was a copy and paste with just one word.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For starters it's against the rules to post about private messages on a forum. Secondly, as another poster has already said,maybe the message wasn't as good as you thought, I suspect you gave it away that it was a copy and paste with just one word."

I'm pretty sure he said it wasn't a copy & paste.

The answers to all his questions are all over this thread now anyway!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm pretty sure he said it wasn't a copy & paste.

The answers to all his questions are all over this thread now anyway!"

Whatever he said, I can guarantee it was.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It wasn’t a copy and paste. Unfortunately I’m dyslexia so if there was a missed spelled word I didn’t notice. Was just disappointed I didn’t have the chance to explain to the lady before i was blocked . As I said she looked like a lovely lady

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm pretty sure he said it wasn't a copy & paste.

The answers to all his questions are all over this thread now anyway!

Whatever he said, I can guarantee it was."

To be fair, the only way you can guarantee it, was if the message was sent to you...?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Don’t feel so bad now as a couple of singles and couples have messaged me and when they found it who it was said a couple of things to make me feel the person isn’t so nice after all and that the person isn’t worth it

Thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm pretty sure he said it wasn't a copy & paste.

The answers to all his questions are all over this thread now anyway!

Whatever he said, I can guarantee it was.

To be fair, the only way you can guarantee it, was if the message was sent to you...?"

Yeah. Because why would he admit it? He's a very young bloke with testosterone out of his ears and an ego the size of a planet. He's been rejected and he's moaning. I'm not going to believe him over a woman who's probably had thousands of messages to know a c+p when she sees one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm pretty sure he said it wasn't a copy & paste.

The answers to all his questions are all over this thread now anyway!

Whatever he said, I can guarantee it was.

To be fair, the only way you can guarantee it, was if the message was sent to you...?

Don’t understand what I have done that has giving you that opinion of me. Sounds to me it’s younger men in general you have a grudge against . It’s a forum to help people out on fab not a place to be rude and hurtful. Everyone one else on this has giving helpful tips and knowledge and you are just being rude

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don’t feel so bad now as a couple of singles and couples have messaged me and when they found it who it was said a couple of things to make me feel the person isn’t so nice after all and that the person isn’t worth it

Thanks guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue "

Don't get hung up about it OP. Some women and couples on here think the sun shines out of their arses and treat single men like dirt. And others on here are very very bitter

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue

Don't get hung up about it OP. Some women and couples on here think the sun shines out of their arses and treat single men like dirt. And others on here are very very bitter

Exactly this

We luuurvee single men, our staple. Keep yer chin up.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue "

OP - your title to the thread was spot on. Despite denials from many on here, the site has fallen considerably from the heights it was at 5 years ago. My wife is away but, when she's back tomorrow, I am consulting her about deleting the profile. As someone else said in another forum - it's become a full time admin job to try and get a meet with anyone decent. Now predominantly a chat site without doubt. Ironically, I think the forums have a lot to do with that i.e. attracts the serial chatter - not the actual swingers.

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By *amRod64Man over a year ago

Gravesend

wouldn't worry, move on. Keep trying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I really wouldn't worry about it OP, people make all sorts of snap judgements on here. You kind of have to, it's one way of filtering what can be an overwhelming number of prospective meets. Personally I'd block them in return and move on.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I do the same, any lack of personal reference and I’ll block, I may be wrong in some cases but when you’re sent several a day it becomes tedious unfortunately and ruins it for the rest "

I have written some nice messages which includes personal refrences to them and about their profile and yet. I still get no response. Been there so many times. Can't really be bothered now. Its like flogging a dead horse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes, I have had this op, not long after I joined fab, despite never having sent a paste and copy message in my life. Still haven't. Like you it did leave me a little bewildered, but I guess with so many messages being sent, some will be similar. Either way, it is a 'not interested' and should be thought of as such. Move on and put it down to experience.

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By *andom2chatMan over a year ago

A Galaxy Far, Far Away & Spain

Thanks guys

Every cloud has a silver lining (from another perspective).

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue "

I’ve been accused of ‘copy and paste’ too, with an accompanying sneer type reply, but it did make me think I’ve probably sent so many messages out, they possibly do follow a similar pattern, and potentially could sound like a ‘formula’. So I do make an effort to avoid that now. Bear in mind; the ladies in here trawl through dozens of messages, and it must get to be such a chore...........

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"No one is entitled to a reply on Fab.

And no one is entitled to not be blocked. Its what the button is there for, people will use it as they see fit.

You just have to keep on trucking. Not entirely sure being 26 and having the name..."the wanking king" helps all that much. Thats just me though...

When I used that name it was meant to be a bit of a laugh and banter as we know the kind of site we are on. Didn’t realize everyone would take a silly name to heart so much "

think of it like this....

you get once chance to leave a great first impression.... stick yourself on the other end... if someone set you a message from someone names "wanking king" what you think?

there is no right or wrong answer.... but it gives you another perspective....

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue

Don't get hung up about it OP. Some women and couples on here think the sun shines out of their arses and treat single men like dirt. And others on here are very very bitter

Agreed! Fuck ‘em!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue

But I thought only a very small percentage use the forums?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I got blocked simply for saying hi can I ask what your looking for as they're profile was a bit vague and they'd been on site for ages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" OP - your title to the thread was spot on. Despite denials from many on here, the site has fallen considerably from the heights it was at 5 years ago. My wife is away but, when she's back tomorrow, I am consulting her about deleting the profile. As someone else said in another forum - it's become a full time admin job to try and get a meet with anyone decent. Now predominantly a chat site without doubt. Ironically, I think the forums have a lot to do with that i.e. attracts the serial chatter - not the actual swingers.

But I thought only a very small percentage use the forums?"

If that's true, then it's an even smaller % that actually meet!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But I thought only a very small percentage use the forums?

If that's true, then it's an even smaller % that actually meet! "

Why? The people I meet don’t use the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Why? The people I meet don’t use the forums. "

Not going to get involved in a tenniss match honestly but just take time to peruse the "meet today" or the meets by area - invariably the same couple of dozen people advertising - and when you subsequently check - they never have had a meet off their adverts! Lokk at the "meets forum" - very rare a meet ever results. Get the drift?

We have found it far easier to meet going to Manchester for the night than via here OF LATE (it used to be good - we met on here) - as many others have said - the site has had it - if your experience is different - great and good luck - we only get heffers and unhygienic (can tell by their pics) huge people messaging to meet nowadays

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue

Don't get hung up about it OP. Some women and couples on here think the sun shines out of their arses and treat single men like dirt. And others on here are very very bitter

Agreed! Fuck ‘em!

He's trying, he's trying

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm pretty sure he said it wasn't a copy & paste.

The answers to all his questions are all over this thread now anyway!

Whatever he said, I can guarantee it was.

To be fair, the only way you can guarantee it, was if the message was sent to you...?

So it was you then, right? You appear to have a fair amount of insight into him judging by your posts on here.

If it was, you two should probably just leave each other alone and be done with it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

I'm guessing you scared him off! Wasn't expecting a reply! Then a real woman came along and he didn't know what to do.

One thing I always do to a thanks but no thanks, reply is always thank them for taking the time to reply. I'm never quite sure if that is an irritant though. After that, that is the last message they get from me though.

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By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

Join the club, I bet half of this thread has been blocked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Join the club, I bet half of this thread has been blocked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP...

You have no control over other people's perceptions or motives for anything they do on fab.

Life's far too short and precious to let things outside your control concern you. I know it may feel rude dismissive or unpleasant..

But it was a message you don't know them and have no relationship with them..

A question... what do you do with whst you perceive to be junk mail delieverd through the post?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Join the club, I bet half of this thread has been blocked

I'm currently blocking all of you one by one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who the fuck do you think you are to judge me by your standards?

If I'm a cunt for not doing what you think I should, then yeah I'm a cunt. News for you, i literally don't have to be friends with anyone don't fucking like.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

I'm guessing you scared him off! Wasn't expecting a reply! Then a real woman came along and he didn't know what to do.

I like your hat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue "
Stop trying to win it's not a raffle, now if you were playing a raffle you would probably win

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I was was speak to a ladie for a while and I sent her a message saying "have you been up to much lately" and she replied with "what's my private sex life got to do with you" and blocked me.

"
*guffaws*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would you want to meet someone like that?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

I'm guessing you scared him off! Wasn't expecting a reply! Then a real woman came along and he didn't know what to do.

I like your hat."
Me too and the hat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Any one else accused of those from out of the blue "
Humans are messy, disgusting, illogical fuckers and there is no method to the madness just sometimes certain things align and work and sometimes it don't.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

advice: change username

advice: you cannot accom

advice: cock mobile size pic..delete.

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By *un bbw loverMan over a year ago

coventry

Any one else accused of this from out of the blue "

i just get ignored and deleted.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

I'm guessing you scared him off! Wasn't expecting a reply! Then a real woman came along and he didn't know what to do.

I like your hat. Me too and the hat"

I like my hat.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

*opens popcorn*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

I'm guessing you scared him off! Wasn't expecting a reply! Then a real woman came along and he didn't know what to do.

I like your hat. Me too and the hat

I like my hat."

It’s a good hat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im the same i rarely message anyone for a few reasons 1 being i feel if there intrested theyll contact me because of the response you get back when you message 1st as youve found yourself,2 i feel there are some pretty desparate and disrespectful males on here so you can kind of see it from both sides.

Ps mind my grammar

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Right. To get away from the ego driven drivel that is being posted in reply - after all, I'm 55 not 15....

OP - change your username. Women have little use for men who can wank. We like men who can fuck.

Offer to pay for a room if you cannot accommodate.

Suggest a social meet first - no matter how attractive a lady is in a photo, you and she may not click in person.

Calm down! This is a hobby site for adults. Chill and get some perspective. OK so there are some people who don't have a life away from Fab, but you need to concentrate on the interesting sexy people.

You need a thick skin on here sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is fast becoming a 'who can get a forum ban the fastest' thread!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Can't win??? you're damn right you can't win.

How many threads do we see from people complaining that they send messages but get no reply?

Well,I just replied to a message.He didn't send me a dick pic and he paid me a compliment.(That's how you do it).

So I replied,expressing my interest and,guess what? No reply to my reply.

I've also been known to send a polite 'thanks but no thanks' type of reply and not been thanked for that either.

Men, huh? You really can't win with them.

I'm guessing you scared him off! Wasn't expecting a reply! Then a real woman came along and he didn't know what to do.

I like your hat. Me too and the hat

I like my hat.

It’s a good hat"

I'm thinking of trying to steal it.

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

More dirty laundry than Widow Twankeys. Ive removed posts and we can leave it there.

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