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Discussing swinging with partner
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By *igharry OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Hey guys, this one is aimed more for couples who are swingers. Just wondering how you guys came about discussing swinging? For example whos idea was it, how was it discussed and what did you guys try once you decided to do it.
Background info: im trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend i want to swing without scaring her lol |
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"Hey guys, this one is aimed more for couples who are swingers. Just wondering how you guys came about discussing swinging? For example whos idea was it, how was it discussed and what did you guys try once you decided to do it.
Background info: im trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend i want to swing without scaring her lol"
We had both swung before and discussed it before meeting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Alternatively, just ask her if she fancies being rogered senseless by loads of men whilst you go without.
Unless you're going into this thinking more of her happiness than just a way for you to shag other women then, again, swinging as a couple isn't for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was me (Mr) who suggested it. We talked a lot about our fantasies over the years and then progressed to fantasies about real situations with friends and spent time on nude beaches. Both these got J very horny. Gradually we moved to the real thing, first with her flirting and finally with her fucking a good friend of ours who had just got divorced and needed a morale booster.
For years J was dead against the idea but now she’s totally relaxed about it and into the lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you don't know the reception you're likely to get from mentioning it, you don't know her well enough to consider starting swinging together."
Not true. Like most forms of unconventional sex, swinging is about pushing the boundaries. Sometimes you find out that pushing is met with resistance, at others you both realise that your boundaries have widened. |
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By *igharry OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
I fear you may have misunderstood because i wasnt too clear about my relationship. I know that she is the jealous type so that will be a little issue but she is also very curious when it comes to trying new things sexually and fulfilling fantasies. So i feel she will be open to the idea but i want to make sure i approach it the right way to make the process more comfortable for her.
Any advice that can be given will be greatly appreciated  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We were together for five years before we discussed swinging, for us it wouldn't have worked if we didn't have the depth of trust and love that we do.
Baby steps and don't push it. |
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By *igharry OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Oh and im thinking more voyeurism. Tbh im not 100% sure how i feel about another man fucking her so to start off with itd just be about having sex with each other in the presence of others having sex... if you get what i mean? |
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"Hey guys, this one is aimed more for couples who are swingers. Just wondering how you guys came about discussing swinging? For example whos idea was it, how was it discussed and what did you guys try once you decided to do it.
Background info: im trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend i want to swing without scaring her lol"
What worked for one couple won't necessarily work for another.
You know your girlfriend's attitude to sex, how adventurous she is and receptive to new things. Try sitting down with her and having a good talk about fantasies explaining that swinging is one of yours.
Saying you want to swing is a lot different to saying you'd like to approach it together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys, this one is aimed more for couples who are swingers. Just wondering how you guys came about discussing swinging? For example whos idea was it, how was it discussed and what did you guys try once you decided to do it.
Background info: im trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend i want to swing without scaring her lol"
Keeping track of this one for my own info |
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Hmmm, you’re not sure whether you’d be happy seeing another man fucking her and yet you’re on here seeking to fuck other women behind her back? I’m not entirely sure you have much of a relationship anyhow.
As was said before, I bet you, that you would never show her your profile on here as she would go spare. So on that assumption, I wouldn’t even have the swinging conversation. It’ll probably end badly.
Good luck! |
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"Hey guys, this one is aimed more for couples who are swingers. Just wondering how you guys came about discussing swinging? For example whos idea was it, how was it discussed and what did you guys try once you decided to do it.
Background info: im trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend i want to swing without scaring her lol
Keeping track of this one for my own info "
It's scarey broaching a subject like swinging with your nearest and dearest. However as someone said above if you don't know them well enough to knowhow to approach the subject you probably don't know them well enough to swing. Work on your communication and it will become easier, discussing fantasies is always a good way to start. |
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"Started as fantasy talk during sex before venturing into club xx
What they said...  "
Same here. Took a few years of talking about MFM before anything progressed.
If you watch porn or reality by together, the Playboy TV show Swing from a couple of years ago is a good intro. It shows that it isn't the mythical seedy keys in a bowl thing, it's just something extra between a loving couple everyone on the show is normal and they discuss quite a bit, with a therapist on hand to review feelings. Even if you don't raise it as a reason to watch its a fun show. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmmm, you’re not sure whether you’d be happy seeing another man fucking her and yet you’re on here seeking to fuck other women behind her back? I’m not entirely sure you have much of a relationship anyhow.
As was said before, I bet you, that you would never show her your profile on here as she would go spare. So on that assumption, I wouldn’t even have the swinging conversation. It’ll probably end badly.
Good luck!"
I agree |
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"Started as fantasy talk during sex before venturing into club xx
What they said...
Same here. Took a few years of talking about MFM before anything progressed.
If you watch porn or reality by together, the Playboy TV show Swing from a couple of years ago is a good intro. It shows that it isn't the mythical seedy keys in a bowl thing, it's just something extra between a loving couple everyone on the show is normal and they discuss quite a bit, with a therapist on hand to review feelings. Even if you don't raise it as a reason to watch its a fun show. We found its enhanced our relationship and are totally comfortable with our hobby, love the social and fun side of clubs"
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"Hey guys, this one is aimed more for couples who are swingers. Just wondering how you guys came about discussing swinging? For example whos idea was it, how was it discussed and what did you guys try once you decided to do it.
Background info: im trying to figure out the best way to tell my girlfriend i want to swing without scaring her lol"
I've done this successfully 3 times.
The first was with a short term FB who I already knew was up for pretty much anything. I just said "do you fancy going to a swinger club?" She said yes and off we went.
Second time was with a long term GF. We were reading the local paper and saw an advert for some golf gear that I had been looking for. I phoned the number and the location was in Eccles. Without really thinking I just said "Oh Eccles, I've not been to Eccles since I used to go to a swinger club there" "What is a swinger club?" she asked. I explained what it was all about and that I used to go there with the ex FB. She didn't bite my head off and even showed a little bit of interest, so I waited a couple of weeks, picked my moment, and brought it up again. This time she said that she wanted to go "for a look" That was the start of four wonderful years on the North West (and occasionally further afield) club scene.
With the current Mrs I drew from the previous experience and told her about my past early on. It didn't bother her at all that I had done it, but she made it clear it wasn't for her.
I dropped the subject and pretty much forgot about it, but it would occasionally come up in conversation if one of us read something or there was something that mentioned swinging on TV.
Then one day, I really can't remember what triggered it, the conversation came up again. This time she said she wouldn't mind "going for a look". Needless to say I didn't hang about and the following week we went to a club together for the first time.
It took her a few visits before she started to relax and get into the swing of things (pun intended) but nine years on we have been to over 40 different clubs in five countries and she loves every minute of it. |
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"Hmmm, you’re not sure whether you’d be happy seeing another man fucking her and yet you’re on here seeking to fuck other women behind her back? I’m not entirely sure you have much of a relationship anyhow.
As was said before, I bet you, that you would never show her your profile on here as she would go spare. So on that assumption, I wouldn’t even have the swinging conversation. It’ll probably end badly.
Good luck!
Just what we were thinking.
I agree"
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We met on here as singles,so already knew we were into it.
maybe ask her if she has any fantasies or write them down ans see if you have any in common?
If she isnt in to swinging,dont push it op.Its not for everyone.Then you would have to decide if you can continue in the relationship or need to move on.
Miss
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One day we were looking at a hotel for a nice night away from home, I chose one knowing there was a club within walking distance as I had previously lived in the area, I just outright asked him if he fancied checking it out. He said yes and three years on we’ve not looked back |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and im thinking more voyeurism. Tbh im not 100% sure how i feel about another man fucking her so to start off with itd just be about having sex with each other in the presence of others having sex... if you get what i mean?"
So she has a jealous streak and you're not sure whether you could cope with her with another guy? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. That said nothing wrong with seeing if she has voyeuristic tendencies too and trying that and see how you both feel before considering full on swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh and im thinking more voyeurism. Tbh im not 100% sure how i feel about another man fucking her so to start off with itd just be about having sex with each other in the presence of others having sex... if you get what i mean?"
So she has a jealous streak and you're not sure whether you could cope with her with another guy? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. That said nothing wrong with seeing if she has voyeuristic tendencies too and trying that and see how you both feel before considering full on swinging. |
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"Oh and im thinking more voyeurism. Tbh im not 100% sure how i feel about another man fucking her so to start off with itd just be about having sex with each other in the presence of others having sex... if you get what i mean?
So she has a jealous streak and you're not sure whether you could cope with her with another guy? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. That said nothing wrong with seeing if she has voyeuristic tendencies too and trying that and see how you both feel before considering full on swinging. "
Yes after reading the other posts I was thinking exactly the same.
This could be a minefield without a map. |
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By *igharry OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Erm i havent actually updated this profile or logged in (before posting this forum) for just over a year now and weve been together for 7 months. I see exactly where youre coming from but dont worry i have no intention to cheat and im literally only on fab for the forums where im actually talking about her lol |
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