FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Explanations, are they necessary?

Explanations, are they necessary?

By *john121 OP Man over a year ago

staffs

I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

no. personal preference is exactly what it says. there's nothing to explain

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Concur with the above comment.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

Its a toughie, we used to just say no marrieds on our profile,we got mail all the time saying"Oh i'm different" or questioning why...now we give a brief explanation and that has stopped.

Perhaps others have found the same...it is all very well to say personal preference should be enough, but for many it is not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

no. personal preference is exactly what it says. there's nothing to explain"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If anyone contacts you who you don't fancy, you just say no.

You wouldn't contact people that you're not attracted too would you?

So no, explainations are not necassary

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

Its a toughie, we used to just say no marrieds on our profile,we got mail all the time saying"Oh i'm different" or questioning why...now we give a brief explanation and that has stopped.

Perhaps others have found the same...it is all very well to say personal preference should be enough, but for many it is not."

if we get asked for an explanation they get a block instead

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is it possible they are worried people might think they are racist?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

Its a toughie, we used to just say no marrieds on our profile,we got mail all the time saying"Oh i'm different" or questioning why...now we give a brief explanation and that has stopped.

Perhaps others have found the same...it is all very well to say personal preference should be enough, but for many it is not.

if we get asked for an explanation they get a block instead"

Indeed but some people, for whatever bizarre reason, feel the need to justify their choices to others. Who I decide to share my bed with is my choice: not open to discussion:

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i don't mind.. a preference is a preference and I will defend that right..... but I have block a few people for there _iews of how races shouldn't mix or how they wouldn't play with someone who has played with other races...

that is way beyond just a preference..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i don't mind.. a preference is a preference and I will defend that right..... but I have block a few people for there _iews of how races shouldn't mix or how they wouldn't play with someone who has played with other races...

that is way beyond just a preference..

That's sick! They deserve to be blocked - makes you wonder if they get any meets at all..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

that is way beyond just a preference..

That's sick! They deserve to be blocked - makes you wonder if they get any meets at all..

I am going to put my neck out here... and hopefully come across as its meant..

I recently had an outburst on a thread that actually didnt quite come across as I meant about interacial sex...

In reading it my Master then began to question why I had the _iew I did... for me it stemmed to a very white supremacy upbringing and many other things that actually led to me being so afraid to open my eyes that I had not realised just how prejudiced I had become...

While I had many friends of different races my Fathers _iews had poisoned my mind... in part because my mother had a relationship with a lovely black guy after my parents got divorced and my dad made it very nasty... (so much so it split them.)

then a few years later I had an incident that I wont go into but was involving 5 people in which only one was white.. yet it was him that did the stuff that scared me.. yet because of my fathers rantings.. I felt more violated by the others.. (hope that hasnt broken rules as no details given)

however, it led to me being very prejudice but believing and I truly did believe it was just my preferences...

Its not been an easy process... but slowly My Master has worked through what had caused it and I realised that my prejudices were not even my own.. but ones bullied into me by a father that believed what he did..

Now my dad believed it because his dad believed it if that makes sense..

Long story short, while I havent done anything with anyone not white... the repulsion I once had and I am very ashamed to admit I did... is not there..and I realise that while it was only sexually.. it was still wrong to _iew people like that...

I have been refusing people on the grounds it doesnt matter what colour they are..they werent for me.. and you know what.. I feel a hell of a lot better about myself.. although ashamed and Totally at my previous thoughts..and wonder how many I through my innocent beliefs I offended..

I certainly cant undo it... but it does mean that the chain is broken.. and my children will not have that in built prejudice built in..

Sorry for such a long reply.

Cali x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't care about the colour of someone's skin. My preferences are for sexy people, if you aren't sexy don't contact me. Nothing personal, just my preference. Lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are sexy people who like sex ?

Or just look sexy ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are sexy people who like sex ?

Or just look sexy ?"

Sexyness comes from inside. Personality etc, looks are secondary.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont meet asian guys, simply because im not attracted to them, theres nothing else to say really is there?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All different colourd skins are beautiful.

We really arnt botherd as we like to feel atracted to the other person.

The only thing that we wont do is have sex with someone whos racist. Yes we have had this one we were at a club with a couple sat in a hot tub and had the most sexy lady and gent walk by. The couple we were with started with the racist spew and we just climbed out and left. Our biggest turn off is people who love them selfs..... maybe we should put that on our profile?

The biggest laugh we have had is when a couple started messaging us and on their profile it had they didnt play with coloureds etc. I'm (mrs) English but i'm mixed race

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By *john121 OP Man over a year ago

staffs

"I dont meet asian guys, simply because im not attracted to them, theres nothing else to say really is there?"

But do u feel you have to say you don't meet because you're not attracted to them in stead of I don't Asian guys. ?

which is what I was asking

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dont meet asian guys, simply because im not attracted to them, theres nothing else to say really is there?

But do u feel you have to say you don't meet because you're not attracted to them in stead of I don't Asian guys. ?

which is what I was asking"

both = the same end result. u dont do asians. end of story

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By *empnbunkCouple over a year ago

south coast

Much respect cali for sharing that ....well done for working thru your issues x

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Much respect cali for sharing that ....well done for working thru your issues x"

+1 (((((((((((((((((cali)

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

Its a toughie, we used to just say no marrieds on our profile,we got mail all the time saying"Oh i'm different" or questioning why...now we give a brief explanation and that has stopped.

Perhaps others have found the same...it is all very well to say personal preference should be enough, but for many it is not.

if we get asked for an explanation they get a block instead

Indeed but some people, for whatever bizarre reason, feel the need to justify their choices to others. Who I decide to share my bed with is my choice: not open to discussion:"

A fair point but since we have sad for moral and practical reasons we dont meet marrieds they have stopped mailing us, which means fewer messages

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By *john121 OP Man over a year ago

staffs

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

Its a toughie, we used to just say no marrieds on our profile,we got mail all the time saying"Oh i'm different" or questioning why...now we give a brief explanation and that has stopped.

Perhaps others have found the same...it is all very well to say personal preference should be enough, but for many it is not.

if we get asked for an explanation they get a block instead

Indeed but some people, for whatever bizarre reason, feel the need to justify their choices to others. Who I decide to share my bed with is my choice: not open to discussion:

A fair point but since we have sad for moral and practical reasons we dont meet marrieds they have stopped mailing us, which means fewer messages

Ok, I understand where you are coming from although personally i think choosing a moral reason to not involve others when the chances are that everyone who doesn't swing would probably hold the higher morale standpoint over you and those that do swing, this isn't whats being asked it's that you have to say you won't

on morale and practical grounds.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I only reject short people, but I do make the odd exception!

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By *riseeTV/TS over a year ago

MacKay

I think there is a significant difference between saying 'No Asians' and 'No Married'

I have an issue with the British term 'Asian' because it includes; Pakistan, India and Asia. I like Asian (Oriental) overall, I like some Indian woman, but I'm not so keen on Pakistani woman. I am terrified of Pakistani and Indian men, most (like 99 in 100) are rude, selfish and physically aggressive. I've found this to a lesser extent in Asian.

I also am less keen on Turkish and Greek, men or women, but I will bend for a cute greek girl (whatever cute means cause it's not body shape!)

As to NO MARRIED - I don't mind meeting with a married person provided their partner is 100% aware. I'm not into cheaters. Unless it's part of a devilish plot.

I think it's quite ok to say you only wish to hear from a specific race or otherwise.

It should not be offensive. But I do suggest before you reject a racial type, maybe have a go

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

Well for the OP. If you put it on your profile then no need to explain. If you put it on a forum well then that opens it up more for debat with this plasce being a forum

As for preferance I kinda get this. Far Eastern ladies for me tend not to be as attractive on the whole. But then there are always exceptions to every rule.

No sooner do you set a rule in place there is always a reason to break it. ie we always said before we ever had a meeting that we wanted no one over 35 or under 25.Our first meet at La chambre blew that straight out our first couple had a girl 19 or 20. The second couple were well into there forties.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dont meet asian guys, simply because im not attracted to them, theres nothing else to say really is there?

But do u feel you have to say you don't meet because you're not attracted to them in stead of I don't Asian guys. ?

which is what I was asking"

kind of

i will at first just say...sorry i dont meet asian guys

If they mail back asking why i will just put im not sexually attracted to them but thats it

if they then mail back asking why i just ignor it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i don't give reasons and i don't need to

in Chams i wont give a reason just "No thanks"

so why should here be any different

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

no. personal preference is exactly what it says. there's nothing to explain

+1"

why explain what it says

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we all have preferences in life and whoever tells me they don't are LIARS

i mean some like cheap cuts of meat i personally will buy a good cut less waste

some may like cheaper wine whereas I like a bit more expensive as i know what i like to taste

some may go to aldis and some may go to asda

end of the day its all personal preferences, and i dont bloody tell a bottle of wine "sorry im not buying you as of x y z"

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By *oantrimcpl2010Couple over a year ago

Lisburn

"Much respect cali for sharing that ....well done for working thru your issues x"

+1 , i read cali's post yesterday and was moved by the honesty in it, but couldnt find the words to express what i was thinking.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I have no need to explain my preferences to anyone. They are mine.

And no one needs to explain their to me.

However some are kinda obsessed with other peoples and are indignant to the extreme if they are excluded.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have no need to explain my preferences to anyone. They are mine.

And no one needs to explain their to me.

However some are kinda obsessed with other peoples and are indignant to the extreme if they are excluded.

think those that do make noises about others choices opinions and beliefs tbh _iew are trying to haul those people over the coals in a very subtle way, and maybe trying to sound-out response in the forum and identify people by their alignment - and no, not neccessarily this issue

Wolf

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"I have no need to explain my preferences to anyone. They are mine.

And no one needs to explain their to me.

However some are kinda obsessed with other peoples and are indignant to the extreme if they are excluded.

Wolf

aye possibly... cheers Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

I don't feel the need to give any explanation to anyone if I did'nt want to play with them,if I have said no thanks then thats it

I would never expect anyone to give any explanation if they did'nt want to play with me either

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

that is way beyond just a preference..

I received a message once saying that because I attended Black Mans Fan Club parties that he wouldn't ever play with me.

The funny thing was I'd never asked him, shown any interest in him or indeed ever looked at his profile. Why he felt the need to say that to me ill never understand

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

Its a toughie, we used to just say no marrieds on our profile,we got mail all the time saying"Oh i'm different" or questioning why...now we give a brief explanation and that has stopped.

Perhaps others have found the same...it is all very well to say personal preference should be enough, but for many it is not.

if we get asked for an explanation they get a block instead

Indeed but some people, for whatever bizarre reason, feel the need to justify their choices to others. Who I decide to share my bed with is my choice: not open to discussion:

A fair point but since we have sad for moral and practical reasons we dont meet marrieds they have stopped mailing us, which means fewer messages

on morale and practical grounds.

My point is we only give an explanation cos it cuts the ping pong emails,not cos we feel we need to explain ourselves,

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

However some are kinda obsessed with other peoples and are indignant to the extreme if they are excluded.

Aaah...so you've noticed too!

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By *lexaWoman over a year ago

southampton

that is way beyond just a preference..

I received a message once saying that because I attended Black Mans Fan Club parties that he wouldn't ever play with me.

The funny thing was I'd never asked him, shown any interest in him or indeed ever looked at his profile. Why he felt the need to say that to me ill never understand

What an absolute tosser!

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By *lexaWoman over a year ago

southampton

Sorry, 2 messages in a row, don't mean to hog ! But.... surely the polite 'thanks for your message, but no thanks' reply is suffiecient for everyone! No explanation needed! If they come back at you and ask 'why not,' then they're a pest no matter what colour or nationality they are!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have no need to explain my preferences to anyone. They are mine.

And no one needs to explain their to me.

However some are kinda obsessed with other peoples and are indignant to the extreme if they are excluded.

Spot on View, I couldn't agree more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have only been rejected once, not on FAB though.

I was in an adult chatroom, and struck up a private conversation with a gent.

As soon as he realised I was oriental, he said he did not do orientals, and blocked me.

However, he did not have a good memory, as a couple of days later, he tried to engage on a 1-1 conversation with me again, and I reminded him of our previous encounter before blocking him.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

".......

I am going to put my neck out here... and hopefully come across as its meant..

I recently had an outburst on a thread that actually didnt quite come across as I meant about interacial sex...

however, it led to me being very prejudice but believing and I truly did believe it was just my preferences...

Now my dad believed it because his dad believed it if that makes sense..

I certainly cant undo it... but it does mean that the chain is broken.. and my children will not have that in built prejudice built in..

Sorry for such a long reply.

Cali x"

I'm not sure what impresses me most, when somebody realises they have a negative side to their character and decides to change it? Or when somebody manages to publically and honestly articulate the admission of those negatives and the desire to change them?

On balance I think what impresses me most is the later, because it requires genuine courage and can be an example to others.

I respect your post and admire your desire not only to change but also to 'break the chain'.

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

"I only reject short people, but I do make the odd exception!"

+1!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a big world out there..... white, black, asian etc etc etc..we all have different tastes/likes. Does it matter if they're white, black, asian or pink, green, blue.... NO, if you don't want to meet with them then you don't... it's your choice & you have no cause to give an explanation. By putting your preference on your profile then everyone reading it knows your preference which is your god given right!!!!!!! fuck them if they're offended, show me a person who has no preference for anything/anyone & i'll show u a liar..........

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By *lack_BoltMan over a year ago

oxford

Oh boy! Race seems to be a hot topic at the moment.

But really if someone doesn't want to meet ***** then surely it's their choice. There are many profiles that state 'no interest in black guys' and I dont find it in the least offensive why should I? It's a good thing because I now know not to contact them, and they also know not to expect any contact from me. That way everyone's happy.

I do draw the line at burning crosses however.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No I don't, I have a list of not interested in, too much waffle means people are even less likely to read a profile so short and sweet is better

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No I don't, I have a list of not interested in, too much waffle means people are even less likely to read a profile so short and sweet is better

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By *john121 OP Man over a year ago

staffs

So can we agree there isn't any reason why you feel it's necessary to justify your decisions on who you play with be it race size or sexuality?

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

"So can we agree there isn't any reason why you feel it's necessary to justify your decisions on who you play with be it race size or sexuality?"

yup.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

playing with is a difference to thinking u wont be able to have any social fun with people regardless of age,gender,sexual preferenace and race.

beleive it or not...i get enough of what i want despite being greedy to have to try twisting someones arm into accepting something that really isnt their thing. I'm attractive to some and not to others,some look at me(and others) beyond attraction and can still play on personality.

All that can be asked is to be treated decently and politely if someone is not ur thing(im talking more socially than through the website).

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont think colour comes into it for us, it's the person that counts not the colour of their skin.

I dont think you should have to give an explanation if you dont want to play with anyone though, this is about choice and if we say a polite no then that's that.

At the end of the day it's about attraction not explanations. Thats just us though

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By * starr -Woman over a year ago

Burton on Trent.

i just dont find other "coloured" skin turns me on, be it a woman or a guy.white people turn me on and i sleep with just white guys/gals but there are plenty out there who will sleep with just cloloured guys, we are all different, and yes ive had stick because i have a preference on my profile.some guys have been very nasty indeed.

some like blondes and not brunettes, others like thin and not big, others like hairy and not smooth, if we were all the same the world would be very boring indeed, just let people have their preference and dont have a go for that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We tend to stick to our own species.

But, hey, a couple of bottles of Merlot, the right, chilled tunes & loads of laughter. Who knows ?

Him

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We tend to stick to our own species.

But, hey, a couple of bottles of Merlot, the right, chilled tunes & loads of laughter. Who knows ?

Him"

well fuckyas lol...and here was me inviting my sexy martian-fanny down for a wee nite

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By *abe1200Couple over a year ago

belfast

that is way beyond just a preference..

That's sick! They deserve to be blocked - makes you wonder if they get any meets at all..

Probably not.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

".......

I am going to put my neck out here... and hopefully come across as its meant..

I recently had an outburst on a thread that actually didnt quite come across as I meant about interacial sex...

however, it led to me being very prejudice but believing and I truly did believe it was just my preferences...

Now my dad believed it because his dad believed it if that makes sense..

I certainly cant undo it... but it does mean that the chain is broken.. and my children will not have that in built prejudice built in..

Sorry for such a long reply.

Cali x

On balance I think what impresses me most is the later, because it requires genuine courage and can be an example to others.

I respect your post and admire your desire not only to change but also to 'break the chain'. "

Seconded, admiration Cali x

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By *im halpertMan over a year ago

redditch

"I think that most peeps who enjoy this pass time would consider themselves to be easy going and respectful and tolerant towards others.

So with this in mind is it or should it be necessary to give explanations as to why you don't want to swing with white, black or asians as you see writen on so many profiles.

Are we to or so afraid of causing offence?

"
no because its down to personal prefrences,you should have to explain yourself on here

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By *uby In StockingsTV/TS over a year ago

Cheadle

it doesn't offend me in the slightest if someone says "no t-girls" on their profile, I admire their honesty, xxx

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