FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > A ‘proper couple’ please…..?
A ‘proper couple’ please…..?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about?"
Lol how crazy ! If you are married 20 years or just FB’s that want to explore together in my eyes it’s thd same thing
As long as it's not some dude setting up a fake profile making out he has a partner then all good
What do you need to do ? Photocopy your marriage certificate or send a series of holiday snaps from the past Haha
You look a lovely couple
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about?"
Personally we don't want to invest the time getting to know and socialise with a couple, only to find they have broken up by the time we want to fuck them. Hence we prefer married couples. It's usually easier to allign diaries with a couple who at least live together too. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Bb makes a good point, but I wouldn’t hold it against a couple who weren’t living together. But then I very rarely play with couples, so I suppose it could just be that when I do, it doesn’t occur to me to ask. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We make it quite clear we're a FWB couple. We started off as friends and then decided we wanted to play together and with others as a couple. We feel we have an advantage over 'proper' couples as we do not have the same emotional feelings, so no jealousy, just pleasure in watching each other enjoy themselves and knowing that our friendship is solid xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
That's an interesting opinion, though having been married twice already, we have found that we now have a most perfect, respectful and loving relationship. Not living together does not affect our ability to meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We had a scenario a few months back with a "couple". We'd chatted for ages and got on really well. When it came to meeting it transpired they were a "couple" but their own respective partners had no idea they were a couple, ie, they were having an affair. That wasnt for us. We didn't want to get caught in the middle of potential drama so we parted on good terms. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People like to swing a million different ways, some people will not see you has swingers i. The true sense of the word, each to their own I guess, for us it boils down to 3 simple things
1 are you hot?
2 so you think we are hot
3 do you want some jiggy jiggy
Let's crack on then |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"People like to swing a million different ways, some people will not see you has swingers i. The true sense of the word, each to their own I guess, for us it boils down to 3 simple things
1 are you hot?
2 so you think we are hot
3 do you want some jiggy jiggy
Let's crack on then"
Simple and fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"People like to swing a million different ways, some people will not see you has swingers i. The true sense of the word, each to their own I guess, for us it boils down to 3 simple things
1 are you hot?
2 so you think we are hot
3 do you want some jiggy jiggy
Let's crack on then
Simple and fun."
 indeed just keep it simple and fun for all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about?"
It's important to some people because "sometimes" people who've been together a long time have a deeper connection and communicate really well. Please note my use of sometimes.
When it comes down to it though we all have things we will or won't accept in swinging, often due to good or bad experiences and trying to understand why is impossible.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol"
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say."
Oh well |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thank you.
Hubby started the ball rolling years ago as he knew a guy that fancied me so let him know we may be up for some fun.
That lasted for 6 years.
Thought we would have a change so popped onto the net for a nosey and here we still are.
Mrs x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
That has added a nice spark to your relationship and good to hear it's worked well
This does seem to be a thorny topic though and at least we are getting the opinions
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol"
I appreciate your views, however, I think it is not your call to decide on the level of 'love' a couple has for each other.
All our circumstances are different and my only interest is that the couple we meet are respectful to us and each other during that time.
What they do and how they live their life outwith that meeting is none of our business. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
I appreciate your views, however, I think it is not your call to decide on the level of 'love' a couple has for each other.
All our circumstances are different and my only interest is that the couple we meet are respectful to us and each other during that time.
What they do and how they live their life outwith that meeting is none of our business. "
Horses for courses x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Maybe they think there's more chance of fb/ fwb's having an affair with their partner as they are actually 'single'. "
Yes, you’re in the right ball park there. It’s hard to describe really. It’s nothing personal. Just wanting like for like really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We get people question our legitimacy often. We have been together 5 years now.. not married.. but not cheating on anyone either.
We are together but wouldn't ever want to live together..but it works on the whole for us.
Other couples do sometimes only want married or living together as they want to be sharing the same level of attachment.. or from what we can gather x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We prefer FWB couples. We've found it to be less 'coupley', and more like a group of single people playing as a group, which suits our way of playing. But then we've never been a great fan of the concept of a partner swap. We're a 'proper' couple btw.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say.
Oh well"
Proving my point nicely. How very commendable of you to do so. Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We make it quite clear we're a FWB couple. We started off as friends and then decided we wanted to play together and with others as a couple. We feel we have an advantage over 'proper' couples as we do not have the same emotional feelings, so no jealousy, just pleasure in watching each other enjoy themselves and knowing that our friendship is solid xx"
See I feel the opposite is true. If a couple are long term and solid it provides a security that negates jealousy. The knowledge that your partner may enjoy swinging but ultimately loves you. Fwb or fuck buddy couples lack this and I feel it can lead to jealousy and insecurity. And drama. Just my opinion formed through personal experience... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We make it quite clear we're a FWB couple. We started off as friends and then decided we wanted to play together and with others as a couple. We feel we have an advantage over 'proper' couples as we do not have the same emotional feelings, so no jealousy, just pleasure in watching each other enjoy themselves and knowing that our friendship is solid xx
See I feel the opposite is true. If a couple are long term and solid it provides a security that negates jealousy. The knowledge that your partner may enjoy swinging but ultimately loves you. Fwb or fuck buddy couples lack this and I feel it can lead to jealousy and insecurity. And drama. Just my opinion formed through personal experience..."
I think this is more down to the individual personally. I don't really think security negates jealousy. I think some people are just naturally too jealous to every accept / enjoy swinging, that's not a criticism, it's just who they are. No amount of security would ever change them. It's possible women value the security more than men though, on average. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say.
Oh well
Proving my point nicely. How very commendable of you to do so. Thank you "
Mrs here ... He may have worded it less bluntly but I’m not sure why you would think his comment was arrogant. Our preference would just be to meet couples similar to ourselves (in a committed relationship), we’re not keen on meeting fb/fwb as they are effectively 2 single people who pair up in order to join other couples as a couple. If that works for them and others then that’s great, it’s just not what we’re comfortable with for various reasons. Maybe we’re making it more difficult on ourselves by being so selective but hey ho, we’re in no rush. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say.
Oh well
Proving my point nicely. How very commendable of you to do so. Thank you
Mrs here ... He may have worded it less bluntly but I’m not sure why you would think his comment was arrogant. Our preference would just be to meet couples similar to ourselves (in a committed relationship), we’re not keen on meeting fb/fwb as they are effectively 2 single people who pair up in order to join other couples as a couple. If that works for them and others then that’s great, it’s just not what we’re comfortable with for various reasons. Maybe we’re making it more difficult on ourselves by being so selective but hey ho, we’re in no rush. X "
The point is you can be committed without being married and I know lots of people who are just like that and are settled and very happy in there life's
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say.
Oh well
Proving my point nicely. How very commendable of you to do so. Thank you
Mrs here ... He may have worded it less bluntly but I’m not sure why you would think his comment was arrogant. Our preference would just be to meet couples similar to ourselves (in a committed relationship), we’re not keen on meeting fb/fwb as they are effectively 2 single people who pair up in order to join other couples as a couple. If that works for them and others then that’s great, it’s just not what we’re comfortable with for various reasons. Maybe we’re making it more difficult on ourselves by being so selective but hey ho, we’re in no rush. X
The point is you can be committed without being married and I know lots of people who are just like that and are settled and very happy in there life's
"
We haven’t said we won’t meet unmarried people, just people who are only fuck buddies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say.
Oh well
Proving my point nicely. How very commendable of you to do so. Thank you
Mrs here ... He may have worded it less bluntly but I’m not sure why you would think his comment was arrogant. Our preference would just be to meet couples similar to ourselves (in a committed relationship), we’re not keen on meeting fb/fwb as they are effectively 2 single people who pair up in order to join other couples as a couple. If that works for them and others then that’s great, it’s just not what we’re comfortable with for various reasons. Maybe we’re making it more difficult on ourselves by being so selective but hey ho, we’re in no rush. X "
You have hit the nail on the head. It was exactly the way it was worded that I found arrogant. The way you have worded it in this reply is much fairer. One of the things I find an irritant on fab is the intolerance from one side of a particular argument to the other. You're preference in this argument is absolutely valid of course. I literally took humbrance with the word used. Also I use the word argument in the lightest sense. No one is falling out. I hope! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
Being used by a pair of fuck buddies?. I find that an arrogant thing to say.
Oh well
Proving my point nicely. How very commendable of you to do so. Thank you
Mrs here ... He may have worded it less bluntly but I’m not sure why you would think his comment was arrogant. Our preference would just be to meet couples similar to ourselves (in a committed relationship), we’re not keen on meeting fb/fwb as they are effectively 2 single people who pair up in order to join other couples as a couple. If that works for them and others then that’s great, it’s just not what we’re comfortable with for various reasons. Maybe we’re making it more difficult on ourselves by being so selective but hey ho, we’re in no rush. X
You have hit the nail on the head. It was exactly the way it was worded that I found arrogant. The way you have worded it in this reply is much fairer. One of the things I find an irritant on fab is the intolerance from one side of a particular argument to the other. You're preference in this argument is absolutely valid of course. I literally took humbrance with the word used. Also I use the word argument in the lightest sense. No one is falling out. I hope!"
Pieman that is so true I did think the initial comment was harsh and did also come across arrogant but happy to see Mrs has a more tackle approach and I see your point
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m far from arrogant. I just say what I feel. Honesty is always the best policy. I can be blunt from time to time, PC has never been a strong point for me. Passive aggressive remarks do make me laugh though, just more ironic arrogance in my book.
Anyhow, have a nice day
Mr  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about?
Personally we don't want to invest the time getting to know and socialise with a couple, only to find they have broken up by the time we want to fuck them. Hence we prefer married couples. It's usually easier to allign diaries with a couple who at least live together too. "
Ridiculous statement. Married and Co habiting couples split up too you know. Lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about?
Personally we don't want to invest the time getting to know and socialise with a couple, only to find they have broken up by the time we want to fuck them. Hence we prefer married couples. It's usually easier to allign diaries with a couple who at least live together too.
Ridiculous statement. Married and Co habiting couples split up too you know. Lol. "
It's not ridiculous if you understand probability  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I’m far from arrogant. I just say what I feel. Honesty is always the best policy. I can be blunt from time to time, PC has never been a strong point for me. Passive aggressive remarks do make me laugh though, just more ironic arrogance in my book.
Anyhow, have a nice day
Mr "
Lol fair enough. You too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We make it quite clear we're a FWB couple. We started off as friends and then decided we wanted to play together and with others as a couple. We feel we have an advantage over 'proper' couples as we do not have the same emotional feelings, so no jealousy, just pleasure in watching each other enjoy themselves and knowing that our friendship is solid xx
See I feel the opposite is true. If a couple are long term and solid it provides a security that negates jealousy. The knowledge that your partner may enjoy swinging but ultimately loves you. Fwb or fuck buddy couples lack this and I feel it can lead to jealousy and insecurity. And drama. Just my opinion formed through personal experience..."
I understand your point, but we really are friends and as such there is no jealousy. I have no fear of our "benefits" ending because we both know the friendship will remain xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi, new to this forum thing,
As a married couple ourselves we prefer to meet with couples who are together and have no ties with any other partners, then again we are very specific in what we want which is a couple with whom we'd like to be firm friends with as well as having play benefits. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well I suppose that's us buggered then, we are more than fuck buddies... I hate that term...
And have been together for six years.
Yes we are married to other people, and we are in sexless relationships, it was only natural that we became a "couple "in the eyes of FAB
Most other couple's don't mind our situation, and those that Do,Don't matter.
Until your in that situation don't judge others.
Rant over |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Here here and I agree you need to know the people before any assumption is made "
The whole point of probability is because we don't have time to get to know all 7bn billion people in the world and form an individual opinion about them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here here and I agree you need to know the people before any assumption is made
The whole point of probability is because we don't have time to get to know all 7bn billion people in the world and form an individual opinion about them. "
This is true but I only want to meet a select few with fidge x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well I suppose that's us buggered then, we are more than fuck buddies... I hate that term...
And have been together for six years.
Yes we are married to other people, and we are in sexless relationships, it was only natural that we became a "couple "in the eyes of FAB
Most other couple's don't mind our situation, and those that Do,Don't matter.
Until your in that situation don't judge others.
Rant over"
This is never true. People judge people all the time without being in their situation.
It would be bizarre to suggest only people who have been in the same situation can judge others.
That way you would only get one view point rather than many. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It makes no difference at all to us .
Infact I don’t think we’ve ever thought to ask if the couples we play with are married or not .
We are here for nsa fun , sometimes with singles , sometimes a couple , sometimes groups , and as long as it’s fun we don’t care who’s married to who |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"People like to swing a million different ways, some people will not see you has swingers i. The true sense of the word, each to their own I guess, for us it boils down to 3 simple things
1 are you hot?
2 so you think we are hot
3 do you want some jiggy jiggy
Let's crack on then"
Exactly x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol"
"We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either"
Charming! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Interested to hear people's opinions on what a ‘proper couple’ is, and why it could be important to prospective playmates?
We have had quite a few emails asking if we are married or cohabiting and when we say ‘neither', the response has often been negative.
We are not sure why it is even relevant, for surely, if your profile states you are a couple, then that is the only part others need to worry about?
Personally we don't want to invest the time getting to know and socialise with a couple, only to find they have broken up by the time we want to fuck them. Hence we prefer married couples. It's usually easier to allign diaries with a couple who at least live together too.
Ridiculous statement. Married and Co habiting couples split up too you know. Lol.
It's not ridiculous if you understand probability "
Its all relative I suppose.. I know long term couples who have split, so I guess I have a slanted view. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andACouple
over a year ago
glasgow |
I think for couples who swap partners there could be an issue with meeting fwb's or fuck buddy couples. If you're sharing someone you have a deep emotional bond with it may not feel the same if the couple you're swapping with have just paired up to get meets and don't have anything like the same connection.
In saying all that though, we don't swap, other than girl-girl, and we still don't meet FB's or FWB's. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me being a committed couple is important, but also that it is very much a joint venture.
We find that couples who want to explore the lifestyle together for mutual enjoyment make for the best meets.
Nita |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We would rather meet a proper couple, as in a long term relationship. I think psychologically we are all looking for a mirror couple. Sounds odd but true. We are all aware that our own relationships work and wanting to find exactly the same in another couple. Does that make sense? I love my wife to bits and would be happier knowing that the other Mr loves his Mrs just as much etc We’re here for the fun and social aspect, not just fucking for the sake of it. We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either. Rant over lol
"We really don’t like the idea of being ‘used’ by a pair of fuck buddies either"
Charming!"
I didn't really understand that one either. Do fuck buddy couples 'use' people and 'proper' couples don't use people?
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Ms Fidge here and I see opinions are diverse, which is fantastic. I have to say that I obviously incorrectly made the assumption that 'Swingers' would be open minded and embrace a freedom of choice and respect for others. Clearly this is not quite as I expected!
The problem with statistical data on couples and their potential for separation, looks only at married or cohabiting couples. It is more difficult to gather statistical info on couples who do not cohabit and therefore we are unable to see clearly the proportion in that category who maintain stable relationships with a significant other.
I intentionally avoided the use of the word ‘longterm’ and used ‘stable’ instead, for in my experience, long term does not always mean stable.
It is the connection to another couple we should seek and not the perceived stability of their relationship based on the increasingly dated institution of marriage.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ms Fidge here and I see opinions are diverse, which is fantastic. I have to say that I obviously incorrectly made the assumption that 'Swingers' would be open minded and embrace a freedom of choice and respect for others. Clearly this is not quite as I expected!
The problem with statistical data on couples and their potential for separation, looks only at married or cohabiting couples. It is more difficult to gather statistical info on couples who do not cohabit and therefore we are unable to see clearly the proportion in that category who maintain stable relationships with a significant other.
I intentionally avoided the use of the word ‘longterm’ and used ‘stable’ instead, for in my experience, long term does not always mean stable.
It is the connection to another couple we should seek and not the perceived stability of their relationship based on the increasingly dated institution of marriage.
"
The opening paragraph shows your first mistake. Many swingers are not that open minded and as a slight diversion, i know multiple sex workers who are very conservative and otherwise monogamous. Never underestimate peoples ability to compartmentalise things. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ms Fidge here and I see opinions are diverse, which is fantastic. I have to say that I obviously incorrectly made the assumption that 'Swingers' would be open minded and embrace a freedom of choice and respect for others. Clearly this is not quite as I expected!
The problem with statistical data on couples and their potential for separation, looks only at married or cohabiting couples. It is more difficult to gather statistical info on couples who do not cohabit and therefore we are unable to see clearly the proportion in that category who maintain stable relationships with a significant other.
I intentionally avoided the use of the word ‘longterm’ and used ‘stable’ instead, for in my experience, long term does not always mean stable.
It is the connection to another couple we should seek and not the perceived stability of their relationship based on the increasingly dated institution of marriage.
The opening paragraph shows your first mistake. Many swingers are not that open minded and as a slight diversion, i know multiple sex workers who are very conservative and otherwise monogamous. Never underestimate peoples ability to compartmentalise things."
Yes, I can see that! Every days a school day |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ms Fidge here and I see opinions are diverse, which is fantastic. I have to say that I obviously incorrectly made the assumption that 'Swingers' would be open minded and embrace a freedom of choice and respect for others. Clearly this is not quite as I expected!
The problem with statistical data on couples and their potential for separation, looks only at married or cohabiting couples. It is more difficult to gather statistical info on couples who do not cohabit and therefore we are unable to see clearly the proportion in that category who maintain stable relationships with a significant other.
I intentionally avoided the use of the word ‘longterm’ and used ‘stable’ instead, for in my experience, long term does not always mean stable.
It is the connection to another couple we should seek and not the perceived stability of their relationship based on the increasingly dated institution of marriage.
The opening paragraph shows your first mistake. Many swingers are not that open minded and as a slight diversion, i know multiple sex workers who are very conservative and otherwise monogamous. Never underestimate peoples ability to compartmentalise things.
Yes, I can see that! Every days a school day "
I admit to feeling pissed off when a prostitute told me swinging was "disgusting". I resisted the urge to say "yeah it's awful having a choice over who you fuck". I was also reading porn star asa akira's latest book recently. She both recalled an incident when a bunch of prostitutes told her that porn was "gross" but also mentioned that she thought swingers were "needy". |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well I suppose that's us buggered then, we are more than fuck buddies... I hate that term...
And have been together for six years.
Yes we are married to other people, and we are in sexless relationships, it was only natural that we became a "couple "in the eyes of FAB
Most other couple's don't mind our situation, and those that Do,Don't matter.
Until your in that situation don't judge others.
Rant over"
This is us!!! We have a wonderful relationship; we dont judge anyone and would hope not to be judged. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
By connection do you mean matching ankle tags lol.
Or they they have both swallowed a magnets and are stuck together?
All in jest.
Myself and Carol have been together a little over 7 years. Though we aren't married. But then we don't feel the need to marry. We have both been there, done that and got the t-shirt. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I'm chatting with a couple with the intention of taking things further, I like to get a feel for their dynamic. I like to see an understanding between, the balance of power subtly shift back and forth. The easy laughs between them and their desire to share.
Their actual status as a couple is irrelevant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ms Fidge here and I see opinions are diverse, which is fantastic. I have to say that I obviously incorrectly made the assumption that 'Swingers' would be open minded and embrace a freedom of choice and respect for others. Clearly this is not quite as I expected!
The problem with statistical data on couples and their potential for separation, looks only at married or cohabiting couples. It is more difficult to gather statistical info on couples who do not cohabit and therefore we are unable to see clearly the proportion in that category who maintain stable relationships with a significant other.
I intentionally avoided the use of the word ‘longterm’ and used ‘stable’ instead, for in my experience, long term does not always mean stable.
It is the connection to another couple we should seek and not the perceived stability of their relationship based on the increasingly dated institution of marriage.
"
There is no such thing as freedom of choice. Everyone draws a line somewhere. People may claim to be non judgmental or respect others or tolerate others.
But actually saying you don't judge just means you have found someone who you agree with. You have judged, just judged in their favour. Without judgement there is no decision making process, just a random selection that could change from one day to the next.
TO be truly non-judgmental you would have to just roll a dice or toss a coin for every decision you make or opinion you have. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Ms Fidge here and I see opinions are diverse, which is fantastic. I have to say that I obviously incorrectly made the assumption that 'Swingers' would be open minded and embrace a freedom of choice and respect for others. Clearly this is not quite as I expected!
The problem with statistical data on couples and their potential for separation, looks only at married or cohabiting couples. It is more difficult to gather statistical info on couples who do not cohabit and therefore we are unable to see clearly the proportion in that category who maintain stable relationships with a significant other.
I intentionally avoided the use of the word ‘longterm’ and used ‘stable’ instead, for in my experience, long term does not always mean stable.
It is the connection to another couple we should seek and not the perceived stability of their relationship based on the increasingly dated institution of marriage.
There is no such thing as freedom of choice. Everyone draws a line somewhere. People may claim to be non judgmental or respect others or tolerate others.
But actually saying you don't judge just means you have found someone who you agree with. You have judged, just judged in their favour. Without judgement there is no decision making process, just a random selection that could change from one day to the next.
TO be truly non-judgmental you would have to just roll a dice or toss a coin for every decision you make or opinion you have."
This is 100 million billion trillion per cent wrong.
I like dark chocolate. My mate likes milk chocolate. I buy a dark chocolate bar. My mate buys a milk chicolate buy. We both eat our chocolate. We are both happy. We both used freedom of choice. Neither judged the others choice. No dices where rolled. No coins where tossed. We didn't randomly choose which chocolate we prefer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Just found this thread, interesting discussion.
Not saying I agree but I can understand the reasons why it may matter and put some people off TBH...
Taking the original question back to basics I would guess that it is all about how secure and stable the married couple feel in their own relationship and the insecurities they may have rather than anything to do with you.
Whatever you may think about it, a married couple have obviously publicly made a firm declaration to each other and to the rest of the world that they are totally committed to each other for life.....whether that actually works out or not is another story of course.
To a married couple for who making that public declaration obviously mattered enough to make, it may seem to them that an unmarried couple may not be quite as committed to each other, and even less so if not having committed to living together....Yes of course in reality that may not be the case, but whether it is or not is irrelevant to them, it is simply their perceived increased risk that complications could arise and could lead to a split that may be raising the concerns for them.
Bottom line is that it is not about being open minded or judgemental or not embracing freedom of choice, probably just more about their own insecurities and a decision they have made about what is or is not for them rather than them making any judgements on anyone else's relationship status.
Either way, on Fab we are interacting with complete strangers who all have their own agendas and we have no way to know if anyone is authentic or not, many are not....so this would only be one of a wide variety of first stage filters folks use for the things that matter to them for whatever reason....doesn't make it right or wrong IMO. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sometimes the dynamic with fuck buddy 'couples' can be a bit weird so I understand why 'real couples' might avoid that.
I think it depends on whether you're meeting for a bit of quick fun or planning to socialise etc.
I find real couples more interesting, but they can also be more complex (in which case we avoid). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
This is an interesting discussion and here is our view point.
We like to get to know those we play with and are not bothered whether they are married or just in a relationship. What we don't want is the jealous types and we have found it does not matter what type of relationship a "couple" are in this respect.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We make it quite clear we're a FWB couple. We started off as friends and then decided we wanted to play together and with others as a couple. We feel we have an advantage over 'proper' couples as we do not have the same emotional feelings, so no jealousy, just pleasure in watching each other enjoy themselves and knowing that our friendship is solid xx"
For me that is a disadvantage as not having the same emotional connection with you partner means you are probably missing out on that extra special level of pleasure that watching your partner you are totally committed to thoroughly enjoying themselves can bring...just because you are deeply emotionally connected does not mean that you will feel jealous. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We make it quite clear we're a FWB couple. We started off as friends and then decided we wanted to play together and with others as a couple. We feel we have an advantage over 'proper' couples as we do not have the same emotional feelings, so no jealousy, just pleasure in watching each other enjoy themselves and knowing that our friendship is solid xx
For me that is a disadvantage as not having the same emotional connection with you partner means you are probably missing out on that extra special level of pleasure that watching your partner you are totally committed to thoroughly enjoying themselves can bring...just because you are deeply emotionally connected does not mean that you will feel jealous."
I get equally excited watching a FWB play as I do my husband, although only the latter do I have a deep emotional bond. With regards to jealousy, I'm never jealous with my husband because I know nobody is a threat. I might sometimes feel a bit jealous with a FWB because there is more of a risk that I might be replaced. But that jealousy only serves as an aphrodisiac. On the whole, both scenarios are equally as enjoyable.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We had a scenario a few months back with a "couple". We'd chatted for ages and got on really well. When it came to meeting it transpired they were a "couple" but their own respective partners had no idea they were a couple, ie, they were having an affair. That wasnt for us. We didn't want to get caught in the middle of potential drama so we parted on good terms."
Yeah and we've came across this loads of times and definitely not for us |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My boyfriend and I are exploring the coupledom world.
Just because we don't live together (lifestyles dictate it) doesn't mean we aren't in a very loving and secure relationship.
We fulfil each other totally, sharing each other with others is an existential experience we share.
I've found it's brought us closer.
Plus to see another girl enjoying him knowing he's mine is a powerful thing. We have rules, there are boundaries which aren't crossed, you need that I think.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i think for new people, certainly our view anyway was that a "real couple" wuldbe better for us to start as like us, they have more to loose than a pair of fuck buddies or two singles meeting to play with us. theyve no feelings or emotions in the pot and dont need to worry about anything.
also, the idea that nobody is likely to risk their relationship for anyone else if all are coupled up in a relationship.
i know not always true and also shouldnt need to worry about that last bit but it is a factor.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Really is a non issue
Some FB couples will make great playmates some won't, same with married couples, living together couples, living apart couple etc etc if you generalise one way or the other you may be missing out on some lovely people... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"i think for new people, certainly our view anyway was that a "real couple" wuldbe better for us to start as like us, they have more to loose than a pair of fuck buddies or two singles meeting to play with us. theyve no feelings or emotions in the pot and dont need to worry about anything.
also, the idea that nobody is likely to risk their relationship for anyone else if all are coupled up in a relationship.
i know not always true and also shouldnt need to worry about that last bit but it is a factor.
"
I think this is the case for many. It was for us.
We had no idea there was any such thing as fuck buddies etc. until we began swinging. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Really is a non issue
Some FB couples will make great playmates some won't, same with married couples, living together couples, living apart couple etc etc if you generalise one way or the other you may be missing out on some lovely people..."
Spot on. Each to their own. Horses for courses and all that. But in my opinion people are overthinking this none issue. I have another opinion on it but I will keep it to myself lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Really is a non issue
Some FB couples will make great playmates some won't, same with married couples, living together couples, living apart couple etc etc if you generalise one way or the other you may be missing out on some lovely people...
Spot on. Each to their own. Horses for courses and all that. But in my opinion people are overthinking this none issue. I have another opinion on it but I will keep it to myself lol."
I have an opinion on your opinion, but I'll keep it to myself |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Alice:
I've been on here as a couple twice. Once year ago with a fwb. He was a close friend and had our situations been different then would have possibly been much more, but situations weren't and we have to sometimes live with stupid choices made almost 20 years ago.
Fast forward several years. I'm married and poly and I swing with a secondary partner (Bob). I'd go so far as to say he is my primary secondary partner and I promise you I love, respect and care for him as deeply as my husband. I could never live with him. (Both him and my husband are straight so would find it super weird, as would our children, not to mention we are almost mirror images in our lack of organisation so would never get anything done) but we date and spend weekends together. We are a couple, not conventional, but a couple none the less |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We only meet with couples who are in a committed realationship, whether married or not
fwb, fb, etc are too much hassle and they are easy to spot
- Mrs. J - |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We only meet with couples who are in a committed realationship, whether married or not
fwb, fb, etc are too much hassle and they are easy to spot
- Mrs. J -"
Seems a very mixed verdict but gives us a view from those in the know
X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
