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Pushing boundaries
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What does this even mean?
So many guys message me saying it.
Surely if I have my boundaries on what I am and not comfortable doing I'm not going to be keen on "Pushing" them? |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
I have something about this on my orofile. It's sbout expanding your experiences, being excited about participating in new to you activities that maybe you thought where taboo previously. A very basic example would be being tied up for the first time. In my case i refer to being open to trying new things out. In summary taking a don't know until you've tried it approach. |
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"What does this even mean?
So many guys message me saying it.
Surely if I have my boundaries on what I am and not comfortable doing I'm not going to be keen on "Pushing" them?"
A boundary is usually at the edge of your comfort zone, some want to push themselves others don't. If you don't want a boundary pushing it's a hard limit. |
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Different people want different things from this of course but pushing our boundaries isn't something we want. We've been doing this for over 10 years and we know what we do/don't like. What we don't want is a partner who tries to change that. What we do want is a someone like-minded who respects our wishes and will enjoy employing his personality and physicality to that end so we can all have some fantastic fun together.
Frankly I don't think many guys here 'get' people like us but that's OK because everyone's entitled to an opinion but we'll always wait until we find a guy who's looking for what we're offering, not just prepared to put up with it until someone else comes along. |
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By *uicy72Woman
over a year ago
North Colchester |
I have my boundaries!
And they are very clear to me and all
But they were certainly pushed at a party Saturday !!!!
I like it when things just happen and are not forced upon
I always go with the flow ........
Suffice to say omg did I enjoy  |
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It's difficult. I have boundaries that I don't want pushed thanks. I have stuff I'd like to try to find out if I like it and areas that I would like to explore further.
I think it's dodgy if someone offers to push a boundary you have without you expressing a wish to do so. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Different people want different things from this of course but pushing our boundaries isn't something we want. We've been doing this for over 10 years and we know what we do/don't like. What we don't want is a partner who tries to change that. What we do want is a someone like-minded who respects our wishes and will enjoy employing his personality and physicality to that end so we can all have some fantastic fun together.
Frankly I don't think many guys here 'get' people like us but that's OK because everyone's entitled to an opinion but we'll always wait until we find a guy who's looking for what we're offering, not just prepared to put up with it until someone else comes along."
I had a look at your profile. You are pretty clear what you want. I would absolutely not be compatible with you. Nothing to do with the boundaries thing that the topic is about. As Nicecouple said above that has to be done with mutual agreement. It's the fact you want exclusivity with a third person. Straight away that would put me right off. I 'get' people like you, to use your own phrase, I just dont think it's a reasonable thing to ask on a site like this. As you say though, each to their own. Saying that I do think you have a fantastic profile. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"It's difficult. I have boundaries that I don't want pushed thanks. I have stuff I'd like to try to find out if I like it and areas that I would like to explore further.
I think it's dodgy if someone offers to push a boundary you have without you expressing a wish to do so."
Goes with out saying that a person has to want them pushed for it to occur. Otherwise you are in none consent territory. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone says that, I consider it to be a huge red flag. Our boundaries are boundaries for a good reason. Either accept what we are offering or move on. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
When you first swung you pushed a boundary. That could be the only one you ever push. Through doing so you expanded your experience. Should stop over thinking this in my opinion. It's not about some random guy wanting to inflict his darkest desires on you. It's simply being interested in new kinks to the ones you might already have. A passing curiosity maybe. Whether you act on it is your choice. |
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I think boundary means different things to different people. To me a boundary is a line I've learned from experience I don't want to cross. To other people it's a moveable line.
That's why for me a bit of discussion about things is important. |
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"Different people want different things from this of course but pushing our boundaries isn't something we want. We've been doing this for over 10 years and we know what we do/don't like. What we don't want is a partner who tries to change that. What we do want is a someone like-minded who respects our wishes and will enjoy employing his personality and physicality to that end so we can all have some fantastic fun together.
Frankly I don't think many guys here 'get' people like us but that's OK because everyone's entitled to an opinion but we'll always wait until we find a guy who's looking for what we're offering, not just prepared to put up with it until someone else comes along.
I had a look at your profile. You are pretty clear what you want. I would absolutely not be compatible with you. Nothing to do with the boundaries thing that the topic is about. As Nicecouple said above that has to be done with mutual agreement. It's the fact you want exclusivity with a third person. Straight away that would put me right off. I 'get' people like you, to use your own phrase, I just dont think it's a reasonable thing to ask on a site like this. As you say though, each to their own. Saying that I do think you have a fantastic profile."
It's as reasonable to ask as it is to refuse. 
Where else would we find what we seek?
It's not something we can ask our 'normal' friends is it. 
Incidentally, we have had regular relationships with several guys here in the past and the most recent lasted over a year so it's more than possible and a lot of fun...
Thanks for the profile compliment BTW. 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does this even mean?
So many guys message me saying it.
Surely if I have my boundaries on what I am and not comfortable doing I'm not going to be keen on "Pushing" them?"
Perhaps they really mean they are outside your preferred type of man and they think you should meet them.
If there's any sign of someone not respecting me or my boundaries then I just don't meet them. |
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different for everyone I think. there are boundaries that are not to be crossed and there are things I haven't explored yet- and am therefore happy to push those boundaries of previous knowledge (with the right people).
some people know exactly what they want and what they don't want or like. others play Dora the explorer... but isn't that part of the fun on here? you can easily discuss those kind of things with meets prior to seeing each other... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What does this even mean?
So many guys message me saying it.
Surely if I have my boundaries on what I am and not comfortable doing I'm not going to be keen on "Pushing" them?
A boundary is usually at the edge of your comfort zone, some want to push themselves others don't. If you don't want a boundary pushing it's a hard limit. "
That's exactly how we describe it. All the new things we've tried since joining the scene have pushed our boundaries but there are some definite hard limits for us that are non negotiable. |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Different people want different things from this of course but pushing our boundaries isn't something we want. We've been doing this for over 10 years and we know what we do/don't like. What we don't want is a partner who tries to change that. What we do want is a someone like-minded who respects our wishes and will enjoy employing his personality and physicality to that end so we can all have some fantastic fun together.
Frankly I don't think many guys here 'get' people like us but that's OK because everyone's entitled to an opinion but we'll always wait until we find a guy who's looking for what we're offering, not just prepared to put up with it until someone else comes along.
I had a look at your profile. You are pretty clear what you want. I would absolutely not be compatible with you. Nothing to do with the boundaries thing that the topic is about. As Nicecouple said above that has to be done with mutual agreement. It's the fact you want exclusivity with a third person. Straight away that would put me right off. I 'get' people like you, to use your own phrase, I just dont think it's a reasonable thing to ask on a site like this. As you say though, each to their own. Saying that I do think you have a fantastic profile.
It's as reasonable to ask as it is to refuse.
Where else would we find what we seek?
It's not something we can ask our 'normal' friends is it.
Incidentally, we have had regular relationships with several guys here in the past and the most recent lasted over a year so it's more than possible and a lot of fun...
Thanks for the profile compliment BTW.
"
Fair points. If it works for you then it's right for you |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"different for everyone I think. there are boundaries that are not to be crossed and there are things I haven't explored yet- and am therefore happy to push those boundaries of previous knowledge (with the right people).
some people know exactly what they want and what they don't want or like. others play Dora the explorer... but isn't that part of the fun on here? you can easily discuss those kind of things with meets prior to seeing each other..."
You put it so much better than i did  |
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By *aelawMan
over a year ago
Paisley |
Ahh one of those expressions that can be taken in so many ways. Alas, I can only answer on my own take on the word.
I see it as a line around my current exploration and things I have done and been a part of. For the things I have tried and don't like I class them as hard limits. So I kind of relate to the pushing boundaries expression being used but will always assume it means what I think it means *chuckles*
The most important thing, for me, is being adventurous enough to push the boundaries so always something I like to see in others |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's difficult. I have boundaries that I don't want pushed thanks. I have stuff I'd like to try to find out if I like it and areas that I would like to explore further.
I think it's dodgy if someone offers to push a boundary you have without you expressing a wish to do so."
This is 99% of my messages
Offering to push my boundaries with in the first few sentences |
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"It's difficult. I have boundaries that I don't want pushed thanks. I have stuff I'd like to try to find out if I like it and areas that I would like to explore further.
I think it's dodgy if someone offers to push a boundary you have without you expressing a wish to do so.
This is 99% of my messages
Offering to push my boundaries with in the first few sentences "
Yes it's like they don't accept that you know what you want and will just wilt and change your mind when you see the size of their dick... :D
Seriously quite a lot of guys don't really listen/take in what you want whether you've told them, it's in your profile or both. They claim they have when asked but five minutes later they'll be saying, asking about or hinting at stuff which rather betrays their mindset. That's why we think it's always good to chat plenty before meeting anyone.
|
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"Different people want different things from this of course but pushing our boundaries isn't something we want. We've been doing this for over 10 years and we know what we do/don't like. What we don't want is a partner who tries to change that. What we do want is a someone like-minded who respects our wishes and will enjoy employing his personality and physicality to that end so we can all have some fantastic fun together.
Frankly I don't think many guys here 'get' people like us but that's OK because everyone's entitled to an opinion but we'll always wait until we find a guy who's looking for what we're offering, not just prepared to put up with it until someone else comes along.
I had a look at your profile. You are pretty clear what you want. I would absolutely not be compatible with you. Nothing to do with the boundaries thing that the topic is about. As Nicecouple said above that has to be done with mutual agreement. It's the fact you want exclusivity with a third person. Straight away that would put me right off. I 'get' people like you, to use your own phrase, I just dont think it's a reasonable thing to ask on a site like this. As you say though, each to their own. Saying that I do think you have a fantastic profile.
It's as reasonable to ask as it is to refuse.
Where else would we find what we seek?
It's not something we can ask our 'normal' friends is it.
Incidentally, we have had regular relationships with several guys here in the past and the most recent lasted over a year so it's more than possible and a lot of fun...
Thanks for the profile compliment BTW.
Fair points. If it works for you then it's right for you "
Yes it does but I concede that as serial swingers we're hopeless... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My thoughts are that boundaries can be unexpectedly pushed. Heat of the moment, that sort of thing. But, as someone further up put it so perfectly, a hard limit is/sounds more final, and definitely not up for going beyond. |
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