Look at your profile and try to read it from a Doms perspective. Do you think it says sub? Your username, your profile headline etc. Also you can update your status to include what you're looking for.
Likewise when you're looking, there are a lot of guys that will message you saying they are dom but have no indication of this in their profiles. When I was single I looked for guys whose profile screamed Dom! Better to have someone with experience in my opinion. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Look at your profile and try to read it from a Doms perspective. Do you think it says sub? Your username, your profile headline etc. Also you can update your status to include what you're looking for.
Likewise when you're looking, there are a lot of guys that will message you saying they are dom but have no indication of this in their profiles. When I was single I looked for guys whose profile screamed Dom! Better to have someone with experience in my opinion. "
This totally also look out for local munches (socials for the BDSM community) which is likely to attract more serious players - not sure if it's still going but the London Fetish Fair also used to have a fairly good social angle to it.
Spend lots of time talking to any prospective Doms before even considering playing - get a level of comfort that they're not the type that have read that book and think they know what it's all about.
If they start using phrases like 'A true sub would/wouldn't....' run a mile!!
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Avoid anyone with Dom.. master or anything similar in the name.
Avoid people expecting submission from the start.. to start off with they should meet you to talk to you to see if you click as people first.
Talk to other subs.. they may have suggestions... there are way to many dimdoms about...
Be firm and strict till you decide to offer up your submission to someone.
And good luck. |
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"Generally the best doms are known in the kink scene and have people who will vouch for them."
Exactly; reputations are made in the safety, sanity and consensuality departments.
Fet and a local munch are good places to start.
Dr Nasty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would agree joining the website mentioned. Looking at your BDSM test I would suggest a look at Evie Vane's Guide to Getting Tied Up. It sets out about the issues from the perspective of a rope bottom of finding riggers and generally about getting tied. She also has YouTube videos. Additionly I would look online at websites dedicated to submissives. These websites normally contain articles on the pitfalls and perils on meeting and choosing a dom.
As mentioned previously you need to work out what you are looking for in a dom. TPE, discipline, domination, play, relationship, intimacy, emotional support and contact levels, exclusivity, rope, impact, private play, club play, sex, what type of sex... The list goes on.
Once you join the website look for local munches and if you want to get your rope groove on look out for peer ropes and pop along. I would also suggest attending some play events but only as a spectator to get a feel of the different dynamics.
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Be aware there are wannabes on fet too. I do echo the advice of others....be careful, try fet, local munches, avoid people who have Dom or Master in their names or who reference 50 shades as in any way indicative of the way they go about things. And be wary of anyone who says they are a 'true dom'
Most decent doms will be able to put you at ease, will get to know you and your needs before expecting submission and may well be able to put you in touch with subs who can vouch for them. |
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"Be aware there are wannabes on fet too. I do echo the advice of others....be careful, try fet, local munches, avoid people who have Dom or Master in their names or who reference 50 shades as in any way indicative of the way they go about things. And be wary of anyone who says they are a 'true dom'
Most decent doms will be able to put you at ease, will get to know you and your needs before expecting submission and may well be able to put you in touch with subs who can vouch for them."
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I'd reccomend fetlife for this as well, if you search you should be able to find social events.
Attend them and get to know your local community, I guarantee there will be people interested in you there and ogher friends you can make who'll help protect you.
There are also a lot of guides on safety on fetlife to help you best judge what you want to do. |
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Also some may be advertised here as socials.