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Innocent phrases that sound dirty
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Walking home from the school this afternoon a kid asked his mum what something in the road was. It's just a rusty ring-she said. "
I almost spit out my drink. See what I did there  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I was trying to tap my card earlier whilst paying for something and the girl at the counter was getting annoyed. She turns to me and says oh just shove it in already. I couldn't help bit laugh to myself. Sometimes I think my minds just to dirty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Looking at accessories in a cycle shop tried not to be too childish about the mega horn and pocket road.
Also washing machine adverts boasting about taking a huge load. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Looking at accessories in a cycle shop tried not to be too childish about the mega horn and pocket road.
Also washing machine adverts boasting about taking a huge load. "
Or pocket rocket even. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Come in the backdoor"
My grandmother always says this. What's strong for me was the last day she said my 11 yr old nearly wet himself laughing and then wouldn't tell anyone why he was laughing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always laugh when football commentators inform you a player is coming from behind , they're desperate to score, talk about dirty tackles etc "
This is funny  |
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"I always laugh when football commentators inform you a player is coming from behind , they're desperate to score, talk about dirty tackles etc
This is funny "
Interview between a winning jockey & a Commentator .
( Jockey) " Oh She gave me a great ride , i counldnt of asked for better, She gave me everything she had & i just had to steer her.
( Commentator ) Do you think shes got more to give ?
( Jockey ) I'd say so she had plenty left & i had to pull her up after the line .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These lines are all so common in an mechanical engineering environment, all too common to hear that that shafts tight in that bush, those nuts have come loose from vibration, the flange don't line up with the pipe etc. Plus all the lubricant jokes under the sun. 
Pretty sure the catering industry is the same.
Convinced that the founders of industry were very sexualy driven or maybe we just have a tendency to relate things to sex!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can remember once when I was doing the food shop standing in the cold meat section and a dear older lady shouts to her partner "Do you want some tongue"
I was ill with laughter - the other shoppers must have thought i was mad
Grind x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"These lines are all so common in an mechanical engineering environment, all too common to hear that that shafts tight in that bush, those nuts have come loose from vibration, the flange don't line up with the pipe etc. Plus all the lubricant jokes under the sun.
Pretty sure the catering industry is the same.
Convinced that the founders of industry were very sexualy driven or maybe we just have a tendency to relate things to sex! "
Nipples
Probes
Male/ Female Adaptors
Ring Expanders
Gussett
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Female dentist said:
"Why don't you drop by tomorrow around 1pm and I'll try squeeeeeze you in...."
I've never wished so much to be a victim of malpractice! |
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"These lines are all so common in an mechanical engineering environment, all too common to hear that that shafts tight in that bush, those nuts have come loose from vibration, the flange don't line up with the pipe etc. Plus all the lubricant jokes under the sun.
Pretty sure the catering industry is the same.
Convinced that the founders of industry were very sexualy driven or maybe we just have a tendency to relate things to sex!
Nipples
Probes
Male/ Female Adaptors
Ring Expanders
Gussett
"
Bleed nipples too- But sounds sore! |
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Sometimes football commentary is funny. Was listening to commentary on radio while travelling to another game a few weeks ago. when the commentator mentioned a strikers "quick penetration of the opposition's defence, he's able to move fast and get deep and that is why he scores when he gets these chances". A bit childish I know but I was in stitches. |
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"Sometimes football commentary is funny. Was listening to commentary on radio while travelling to another game a few weeks ago. when the commentator mentioned a strikers "quick penetration of the opposition's defence, he's able to move fast and get deep and that is why he scores when he gets these chances". A bit childish I know but I was in stitches."
There's also the famous cricketing one "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willy" |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
Quite a few years ago while at work I had to go do a job at a property. I knocked on the door and a lovely lady answered. Asked her where the problem was and she said 'come in and smell my passage' she then looked at me and just burst out laughing |
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By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"If someone says that's fab.
Always makes us wonder
Agreed always makes me smile uncontrollably :p
Our have a fab day "
Sometimes we just want to tap who is near feature and see if it really is going to be a fab day  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone says that's fab.
Always makes us wonder
Agreed always makes me smile uncontrollably :p
Our have a fab day "
Not when it's old old customers at work  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Years ago I picked up my new car and the salesman was going through the controls etc when he described the recirculated air thingy function. He said when in traffic, have it off. Well I said, that's one way of passing the time my lovely. I lost it totally after this! |
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No thank you it's delicate 