FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Falling for the wife...

Falling for the wife...

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just after some advice, I been going with a couple for a while, and had some incredible nights together. I've always been head strong when playing this game, keeping it strictly business so to speak. However, just lately, iv been having strong feelings for her, like I can't stop thinking about her.

I been thinking what are my options, do I call it a day and move on. Do I tell her how I feel, and risk her feeling the same and causing problems with them. They are both in their 40's and married together. Or do I just shake it off, and bury these feelings and continue as we are, popping over when they need me?

Not sure why I need to post this, but guess I just wana chat it out.

Thanks

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I've seen it before and it's not pretty. If you are having feelings any more contact especially sexual will enhance your feelings and you may start looking for signs she is interested too when she probably isn't

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For your own emotional well being I would call it a day xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

I think Scarlettx has put it well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

Is that why we havent met for a while.. did you fall for Mrs too!@

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

Thanks Scarlett, it is very true what you say. I think the fact I have even spoken about it on here shows me its having an affect about on me. Plus last thing I want to do is do any damage to their relationship.

Thanks for your advice, I do genuinely appreciate it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"For your own emotional well being I would call it a day xx"

Again thanks for the advice, I think it's sound advice. It makes sense to me aswell.

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

Is that why we havent met for a while.. did you fall for Mrs too!@

Haha i bet plenty have

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By *carlettxWoman over a year ago

Essex

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

Thanks for your advice, I do genuinely appreciate it. "

Although we all live a bit of banter and sarcasm on here ... mine often the sharpest cut lol when it's a genuine answer someone is looking for to ask others in the scene the forums are great. Let's face it not always easy to explain to vanilla friends is it ?

Hope it works out good for you x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

Is that why we havent met for a while.. did you fall for Mrs too!@

Haha i bet plenty have

A few

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By *icentiousCouple over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Stop seeing them.

You are risking getting hurt or causing issue for them.

I know I sound harsh but honestly it's true

Thanks for your advice, I do genuinely appreciate it.

Hope it works out good for you x "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not meaning to be rude but ain't this situation disrespectful to the husband? He shares his wife so you can live this lifestyle now you're contemplating telling her your feelings to her.

Leave it well alone and show abit of respect.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not meaning to be rude but ain't this situation disrespectful to the husband? He shares his wife so you can live this lifestyle now you're contemplating telling her your feelings to her.

Leave it well alone and show abit of respect."

I wouldn't have put it quite this bluntly, but I do essentially agree with this. They are married, they are a partnership, and they've trusted you enough to bring them into that on a purely sexual basis. Please don't blur the lines, I can't see it ending well for any of you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That is how I got divorced, she fell for him and while I was offshore they were having fun, destroyed my life for a while, kids still disrespect her...good family broken for a fuck .......he dumped her six months later for another married woman

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not meaning to be rude but ain't this situation disrespectful to the husband? He shares his wife so you can live this lifestyle now you're contemplating telling her your feelings to her.

Leave it well alone and show abit of respect.

Absolutely this. Move on, don't play with them again & get over it. It's got disaster written all over it. We never repeat play with anyone more than a couple of times close together as it potentially leads to problems on all sides.

We have had someone else raise 'the F word' with us & it caused a fair bit of anguish & more than a few tears.

Hope it all works out OP x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the comments. I have made my mind up, and it's because iv got respect for both of them, it's best to move on. Not sure why I posted about it on here, as I knew the right thing to do, but guess you just needed to chat it out and hear it be said.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

iv got respect for both ?? are you sure the fact you had to ask on a forum shows you have no respect

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is how I got divorced, she fell for him and while I was offshore they were having fun, destroyed my life for a while, kids still disrespect her...good family broken for a fuck .......he dumped her six months later for another married woman

fucking hell ... what a charmer (him of course not you)

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By *rightonCheekyMan over a year ago

Brighton

"iv got respect for both ?? are you sure the fact you had to ask on a forum shows you have no respect

I think that's rather harsh.

Respect to you OP for sharing your dilemma and showing a mature respect for the couple involved. It makes a change on here to see a chap with a well adjusted moral compass.

I actually feel for you as it must be hard and no decent person is immune to developing feelings for somebody.

I think you've made the right decision to walk away both out of respect for their relationship and for your own emotional well being.

It will seem hard just now but it will pass in time. Good luck fella

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments. I have made my mind up, and it's because iv got respect for both of them, it's best to move on. Not sure why I posted about it on here, as I knew the right thing to do, but guess you just needed to chat it out and hear it be said.

Thanks "
you posted on her as your only human x and sometimes we all need another persons opinion to help make a right decision good luck xxx

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By *ldest swinger in townMan over a year ago

kirkcaldy

"Just after some advice, I been going with a couple for a while, and had some incredible nights together. I've always been head strong when playing this game, keeping it strictly business so to speak. However, just lately, iv been having strong feelings for her, like I can't stop thinking about her.

Not sure why I need to post this, but guess I just wana chat it out.

Thanks "
In the words of the proverb.......its time for you to fuck off...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I hope they don't read the forums though ?

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By *imandHerNottsCouple over a year ago

North Notts

Definitely call it a day and move on before anyone gets hurt xx

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Definitely stop seeing them you'll only get hurt

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By *esparate danMan over a year ago

glasgow

How ..apart from being together with both of them ... have your feelings for her as a person

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By *ammskiMan over a year ago

lytham st.annes

"I hope they don't read the forums though ?"
. My thoughts exactly

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely stop seeing them! They are in a committed and trusting relationship. I've always thought of myself as an extra cock for the female to play with, to enhance their sex life whether it's mfm or the male enjoying watching his wife with another man. Directly emotions become involved you are asking for trouble. You weren't invited in to their relationship to break it but to enhance it. All though it may be tough for you to walk away, it really is the best thing to do. For you and them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a male in a couple I would suggest you call it a day as we've been in a similar situation and I can tell you now it won't end up in any kind of loving relationship in fact you'll find it will most likely be the complete opposite.

Take a step back and look at the reality for starters a couple more so the male has put trust in you thinking that you're on the same page and looking for fun added to that he also trusts his wife isn't looking to run off with another man and if you decide to declare your feelings to the woman one of two things are going to happen which is either she will show him what you've said and instantly block all communications with you (which is what should happen if they are doing this for the right reason) or she might tell you she feels the same...

If it's the later of the two then you have to question why she would be feeling the same...

It's very easy for one half of a couple to start getting feelings for someone especially if they are doing the whole swinging thing to spice up an otherwise stale relationship.

The reality of most couples lives is they have jobs kids bills and many other challenges in their lives before they find time to themselves and if like in your case you have a single guy presumingly chatting away to the woman with more intentions than just meeting up with them both then you can start to look like Mr nice guy as no doubt you would constantly be telling her nice things and giving nice compliments at every opportunity and there is a chance that for her the grass may start to look greener!

Now just think for a minute what would happen if that was the case and you got what you wanted and won her over what do you think would happen then?

For starters you have actively wrecked a family and the hubby will want to rip your head off and if they have kids they will also hate both you and her added to that the rest of the family will start to take sides with one or the other and she might start regretting what she did.

Then after a while what started for you as fun has maybe turned into a relationship and along with that comes jobs bills kids along with the angry husband and all the other mundane shit that you hadn't considered and then all the fun that you was having to begin with has been sucked out of it and you both start to realise that you've made a massive mistake and start to want out!

I hope for your sake that you make the right decision but if you don't I hope the couple in question do it for you as this is the very reason the Mrs doesn't give out her own contact details to single men as often or not men can become very obsessive just because she's shown them some interest!

I wouldn't be meeting couples anymore and would stick to a dating site if I was in your shoes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As a male in a couple I would suggest you call it a day as we've been in a similar situation and I can tell you now it won't end up in any kind of loving relationship in fact you'll find it will most likely be the complete opposite.

If it's the later of the two then you have to question why she would be feeling the same...

It's very easy for one half of a couple to start getting feelings for someone especially if they are doing the whole swinging thing to spice up an otherwise stale relationship.

Now just think for a minute what would happen if that was the case and you got what you wanted and won her over what do you think would happen then?

I wouldn't be meeting couples anymore and would stick to a dating site if I was in your shoes."

My way of words is crap and i was too blunt. This is spot on.

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